


A Coalition Divided

by Dancefight



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood and Violence, Character Deaths, Dark, Drama, Eventual Smut, Extremely Dark, F/F, F/M, Have a drink first, OC, Romance, Violence, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-07 19:38:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 187,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10367925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancefight/pseuds/Dancefight
Summary: Takes place after season two. It's my version of how the story continues after Season two. Clarke is slowly and painfully discovering that her choice to be alone in the woods was not a good one. The threat of the Ice nation is right on her heels and peace has never been further away.





	1. Teik Daun

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone. A quick introduction. I've written fics a very long time ago and in a different category. This is my first attempt on a the 100 story and its main focus will be around Clarke and Lexa. But I will take some side steps every now and then. It's a dark story, no such thing as blood must not have blood in here. So there is going to be a lot of M rated stuff in it.
> 
> Another thing you should know, I am Dutch and thus English is not my first language. It's been incredibily difficult to write this story because of that. I had a little help from a friend but it still took me a lot of time and effort to write it. So another small warning, I am a slow writer not only due to the language barrier but also because the time for it in my personal life is limited. But I'll do my best to update it as much as I possibly can. (If you like it ofc :P ) This story is also posted on ff.net.
> 
> A few things I feel you should know before you start reading. The story starts about where Season 2 left off. I can already tell you there will be no ALIE and no Pike. All this city of light stuff has never been to my liking and it will not be present in my story. Also, I went for Arkadia instead of Camp Jaha. More than that I will not reveal. You will just have to read the story. ;)
> 
> I gave it some thought and went for some pieces of the conversations in Trigedasleng. I do not claim to be an expert in the language and used all I could find on the internet. I suspect not being English made some of my Trigedasleng not perfect either and I apologize in advance for that. The translations, on how I think they should be will always be at the bottom of the chapter.
> 
> Let me know what you think of it and please if there is anything you notice about my lacking grammar or spelling or anything else give me some feedback about it and I will do my best to improve it in the next chapter.
> 
> Enjoy!

** Chapter 1 - Teik daun **

Clarke ran like her life depended on it. It probably did. Her lungs were burning and hurting more and more with every breath she took. Branches painfully slashed across her cheeks as she wormed herself between the trees and bushes ahead of her. She dared a quick peek over her shoulder hoping to spot a glimpse of her pursuers. Darkness was falling, it was pointless to look but it had been more out of panic and instinct that she did. There might be no one to see but Clarke knew they would still be close. Their footsteps were sound and clear.

Not at first. At first, when she had been oblivious of their presence the footsteps had been stealthy. Clarke knelt down at a stream at that moment to clean her face and drink after another long and tiresome day.

Their mistake had been to think she hadn't heard them coming. That the two, or maybe three months she had spent in the wilderness hadn't taught her anything. But it had. During her visits to the trading post Niylah had taught her not only Trigedasleng but also how to hunt. The hunting skills had come in handy when one of her pursuers had stepped on a branch just enough for Clarke to hear it and escape their initial assault.

Clarke didn't know for how long she had been running but it must have been a long time. The lack of oxygen in her lungs was becoming more apparent. Breathing was difficult and she felt her knees buckle more and more with each step she took. She tried to listen to the footsteps, how many had been following her? Two? Maybe three? She wasn't sure.

A cry more from surprise than pain escaped her lips when the tiredness in her legs had taken its toll and Clarke tripped. Hands scraping through the dirt and rocks below her to catch her fall with the only thought on her mind to get back up and continue running. And so she did. Claws dug into the mud below her to try and scramble back up to her feet. But then a booted foot connected painfully with her ribs. The low amount of air she had left in her lungs was now completely gone as the force rolled her over a few times until she felt her body collide with a tree.

Clarke gasped to let air find its way back into her lungs. Her blue eyes opened for a second only to see a fist coming at her. Pain exploded above her right eye. Her head snapped back and before she had time to register the brutal assault another punch followed. This time at her jaw. Clarke was fairly sure she heard herself whimper at the pain it caused but she barely had time to register it. A hand grabbed a fistful of her hair to yank up her head forcing the blonde to look the attacker in the eyes. Through her blurred vision Clarke saw a woman. Scars rested on the woman's cheek and forehead. Ice Nation.

"Wanheda ron we em gonplei, bushhada."

Strong hands wrapped around the fabric of her coat. Clarke was pulled up only to be tossed forward with enough force that made it impossible for Clarke to catch her fall. Her hands could not carry the weight of her body and her face scraped across the ground. Clarke heard more footsteps nearing. There were at least three of them, though Clarke couldn't be entirely sure. Her lungs burned and her ribs hurt. It was difficult not to let panic take control. It didn't really matter how many of them there were exactly. They are trained soldiers. Clarke isn't and she didn't even have a weapon on her. She wouldn't stand a chance.

_Wait, my knife!_

Pretending to be more beaten then she actually was, Clarke remained motionless on the ground. Her breathing was still heavy, which wasn't surprising after all the running she had to endure. It was dark so Clarke prayed they didn't see her hand sliding across her leg to where she knew the knife was hidden.

The Ice Nation warriors were laughing at her and one of them delivered a painful kick at her thigh. Clarke grinded her teeth together, biting the pain away just as her hand grasped the hilt of her knife. The woman who had started the assault on Clarke's body leaned over her again. She seemed to have it in for her hair. Fingers once again clawed through the blonde locks and without mercy Clarke was hauled up on her knees. A painful grunt erupted from her throat, unable to hide the pain the woman had caused her.

"Yu ste Kwelen." The woman said fiercely. "You are not worthy of the title Wanheda."

And then the woman stepped in front of her. This was the moment Clarke had been so eagerly anticipating. The second time that these Ice Nation soldiers had underestimated her. Clarke lunged at the woman and before she had time to register what Clarke did to her the knife plunged into the woman's heart. The blonde watched how the woman clutched at the knife and then her body slipped sideways. The woman was dead by the time she hit the ground.

It felt as if time froze right now. The remaining Ice Nation soldiers were shocked by what happened. They stood shocked, frozen in time while they processed what just happened.

"Am I worthy of the title now?" she said sarcastic.

Provoking them probably wasn't the best idea. Especially since she had left the only weapon in her possession inside the dead woman. Clarke didn't care. If she was going to die she might as well do so fighting.

These thoughts hadn't even crossed her mind yet when a fist collided with her jaw. Her lip split and blood splattered through the air from the brutal assault. Two men stepped in front of her and a third man yanked her head back, moving his head close to her ear. She was beginning to get tired of people grabbing her hair.

"Yu laik lottau kik raun, skaigada."

The man had barely spoken the words when Clarke saw the hilt of a sword flying towards her. _At least I'm not going to die, yet._ She thought before everything went dark.

* * *

When her eyes opened again Clarke immediately wished she hadn't and closed them as quickly as they opened. An agonizing pain in her head ran from between her eyes all the way to the back of her skull. The beating of her heart pounded through her head with every heartbeat. With slow breaths she took a second attempt to open her eyes. Black spots were still dancing in front of her but at least the pain in her head was subsiding.

From instinct Clarke tried to lessen the pain by rubbing a thumb and index finger between her eyes but found her arms locked together above her head. As her vision evened out the blonde looked up to see she was tied up to a tree with her hands above her head. The next obstacle she registered was the gag inside her mouth. Clarke risked a few strong pulls at her restraints. It was no use they were too tight and a muffled grunt of frustration tore out of her gagged mouth.

" _Yu laik stomba._ "

Clarke's head shot up to the direction the voice came from. _Another woman?_ She thought to herself, clearly remembering to have only seen one woman among the Ice Nation warriors that had captured her. Clarke was also quite positive that same woman was lying dead somewhere with her knife plunged in her heart. But then something caught her attention. It was dawn, the sun had only just started to rise. A campfire rested in the middle of the camp. The woman stood behind it. At the woman's feet was a body sprawled on the ground, blood still pouring from under it.

Clarke felt her eyes widen in surprise, realizing the body was one of the Ice Nation soldiers that had captured her. Her eyes continued scanning the area and soon she found the second soldier. The man was leaning against the tree behind him. It looked like he was just resting were it not for his eyes to be open in horror and his slashed throat that lead a large trail of blood down his body. The man had probably been resting against the tree and never noticed the brutal attack coming.

The last man was spotted as well. He wasn't that far away from her, only one or two meters. He was lying flat on his stomach with a knife embedded in his back. Nerves were clawing through her stomach when she realized this woman had taken out these three men all on her own. Their skill clearly paled in comparison to hers. She hated to admit it, but the woman scared her. Clarke was definitely scared. Especially when her blue eyes locked on the same colored eyes of the woman. The satisfaction of her kills was still lingering in them and no matter how hard she tried, Clarke couldn't look away.

The woman noticed the fear that crept into Clarke's eyes. She immediately shook her head. "Ai laik Kensi kom Trikru." She said to Clarke. "I did not come here to kill you."

Trikru, one of Lexa's people. Clarke wanted to believe her, she really did. But the fact that she was still tied to a tree and gagged made her believe otherwise. The woman had not made any indication yet that she was going to release Clarke. As if on cue, she stepped over the dead body at her feet and advanced towards the other dead body ahead of her. Clarke took this moment to study the woman.

She stood tall, quite statuesque. A tight fitting black leather coat that reached down to her waistline gave a subtle sense of a slightly muscled physique underneath. Pieces of scrap metal were intricately sewn through the fabric of the coat. A hint of a once white colored shirt showed just from under the coat. Her legs were dressed in a pair of slim fit dark green pants; they showed off several cuts and holes indicating they were very well worn. On her feet, a pair of sand colored boots partially covered with dried mud. A bow and arrow filled quiver rested on her back. She looked young, yet older than Clarke but not by a lot. The woman held beauty but despite all that she looked very, very intimidating. Much like Lexa when they had first met.

Clarke swallowed deeply when the woman yanked the knife out of the dead man's back and moved towards her. Clarke was ready to pray to whichever God was listening that the woman hadn't lied and wasn't about to use that knife to slid her throat.

A wave of relief ran down her body when she first removed the gag and then cut the ropes. Her hands moved down to Clarke's hips to help the blonde in a more comfortable position against the tree. "Thank you." Clarke muttered while she rubbed her sore wrists.

The woman answered with merely a nod. She reached behind her back and pulled a damp cloth from the quiver. A strange scent that Clarke didn't recognize whizzed through her nostrils.

"Wada yu klin." The woman said, tapping the cloth above her own eyebrow to indicate what she meant before tossing it towards Clarke.

Clarke had felt the burning pain at her eyebrow and knew there was a gash just above it. She was also fairly sure her jaw was bruised but the injury paining her the most were her ribs. Clarke flinched as soon as she placed the cloth at her eyebrow but ignored the pain as much as she could while her other hand assessed the sore ribs to examine if they were broken.

_Bruised, just bruised_. She happily told herself.

"The Commander sent me to find you. You were not easy to find, Skai Prisa."

The woman went to sit down next to the campfire, crossing her legs.

"That was the point." Clarke bit back.

The woman shrugged. "Ice Nation found you, I found you. Had I not shown up you'd be in the hands of the Ice Queen in less than a day. Dead a day later, maybe two."

Clarke just shrugged at her words. "What does Lexa care anyway. She abandoned me at Mount Weather."

Her mind flashed back to that day at the mountain. Words could not describe how angry she was at Lexa. They had become close. They had kissed and just like that Lexa had chosen her people over the alliance they had made to defeat the Mountain Men. Thinking back to that night once again made her stomach turn. Because of Lexa Clarke had committed genocide. An entire Nation wiped from the earth just by pulling one lever. Because of Lexa Clarke saw the faces of the people she murdered every time she closed her eyes. Because of Lexa Clarke barely sleeps at night to avoid being haunted by nightmares.

But in time Clarke's anger had begun to boil down. The anger was slowly replaced by understanding. Lexa's people had suffered from the mountain men long before Clarke and her people had landed on earth. Taking the deal was the only option for Lexa to avoid further bloodshed of her people. Lexa had done what was best for her people. She is their leader and she had to put them first. Putting Clarke first would make her a terrible leader.

Clarke knew that Lexa had no other choice no matter how much Clarke hated or still hates her for doing this. She not only understood but had also experienced first-hand just how difficult it is to make the decisions to save your people. The dropship, TonDC and worst of all Mount Weather were proof of the horrible reality Clarke was living in now.

They weighed heavy on her shoulders. It was why she had decided not to go back to Arkadia. Seeing the faces of her people would remind her too much of what she had done to save them. Clarke hoped that by being alone she could learn to live with what she had done. That maybe the nightmares would stop haunting her at night. They hadn't, not even the night where Clarke had thrown herself at the mercy of the trader girl, Nyilah. Clarke shook her head, feeling slightly guilty for using the girl like that. Another victim of her haunted mind.

But Clarke knew herself well enough that hadn't been the sole reason why she had slept with Nyilah that night. While Clarke had told herself she had slowly started to forgive Lexa for leaving her at the mountain. Something she could not quite forgive Lexa for was the kiss. Clarke could still feel it on her lips whenever she thought back to that moment. The kiss had been soft and passionate and Clarke had fallen right into it. And not only did she hate Lexa for kissing her but she also hated herself for allowing it.

"You are angry with Heda."

The woman's statement brought Clarke's mind back to the land of the living. Her blue eyes searched for the woman's before she spoke up.

"Kensi, is it?" The woman nodded and Clarke continued "Yes, Kensi, I _was_ angry with Lexa. I-"

"Heda." Kensi corrected her.

Clarke rolled her eyes but decided to respect what Kensi demanded of her "As I was saying. Yes I was angry with Heda. But not anymore. She had to do what was best for her people, I see it now."

There was no point in adding she was still angry but not about that. The kiss was private and surely not up for debate with this woman.

"Yes she did and you still destroyed the mountain, Wanheda."

Clarke frowned at that word. The Commander of Death. She hated that title. It was given to her over the death of innocents only to protect her own people. The title had been given to her so easily by the grounders and yet Clarke could not get used to it. Not even after months of running. Her mind would not give her peace. No matter what Clarke had tried or done her mind remained haunted.

"There really is no need to remind me." Clarke said softly, lowering her head.

Kensi stood to her feet, walking closer towards Clarke until she towered over her. "You should be proud of what you accomplished, Skaiprisa."

Clarke shrugged, eyes still directed to the ground. "Proud of killing innocent men, woman and children?" she said, finally looking up to meet Kensi's stare.

All Kensi did was smile when she spoke up. "Their deaths are what accomplished the safety of both our your people, that is what you should be proud of." She said and outstretched her hand to Clarke. "Now come, Heda has requested your presence. Much has happened since you left your people."

Clarke narrowed her eyebrows at Kensi's words. "What do you mean?" she asked. Her voice almost sounding demanding.

"Heda will tell you. Now come, we have to leave now so we can reach Heda's camp before nightfall."

She wiggled the fingers of her still outstretched hand, ordering Clarke to take it. Clarke did so without even giving it a second thought. Kensi hauled her back to her feet, flinching slightly at the pain it caused her ribs.

Once she found her balance and stood firmly on her sore feet Kensi let go of her hand and immediately headed back into the forest. "Keep up, Skai Prisa." She yelled at Clarke.

But Clarke just stood there, frozen on the spot. Her mind was racing right now. The last thing on her mind was going to Lexa. But that was soon going to change. The blonde didn't know why she had agreed to go with Kensi. Maybe the mention of the changes that had happened while Clarke had been in the woods. Or maybe she really did just want to see Lexa again. She still wasn't ready to face her people but Clarke also was certain she was done hiding in the forest. And if Ice Nation is looking for her perhaps the safest place to be right now was at Lexa's side.

"Prisa!"

Clarke shook her head to clear her thoughts. Kensi had already disappeared into the forest. She quickly gathered her bearings and killed the fire that was still burning. Once the campfire was out she hurried off into the woods knowing that she soon would be face to face again with the woman who broke her heart.

* * *

They had been traveling for the entire day. Clarke was certain she could collapse anytime now. Sure, her time in the forest had made her stronger. Her stamina had increased despite the lack of sleep but the hell Kensi is putting her through right now is nothing compared to what Clarke had done during her months in the forest.

She was completely out of breath, her feet must have been covered In blisters, her ribs continued to torment her but Kensi didn't seem to notice. Or maybe she did and she just didn't care. Because Clarke didn't want to appear weak she wasn't going to ask the grounder woman to stop walking. Though Clarke was fairly sure even if she did, Kensi wouldn't stop anyway.

To distract herself Clarke pushed her thoughts towards Lexa and started wondering what it would be like to see her again. Would Lexa apologize to Clarke for what she had done? Does she even feel remorse for leaving Clarke? The Commander probably didn't, but Lexa did. Clarke knew she was one of the few people who had seen the exposed side of Lexa. Lexa had shown Clarke a side of her that made them both feel like normal teenage girls, if just for a moment. Where they were just two normal girls kissing and battling with their feelings. Clarke was the one who had stopped that moment, regretting it at first but now after what happened she was glad she had.

She snapped herself out of her thoughts when a waterfall became visible in the distance. Clarke recognized it immediately. The artist in her remembered the pattern of the water and the rocks and the beautiful landscape around it. The first time she'd seen it she memorized it for when she had a sketchbook to draw the beauty of what mother nature had to offer. But what worried her was that this waterfall was not on the road to Polis. And now Clarke realized they have been walking more north then east. Why wasn't Kensi taking her to Polis? Lexa should be there by now, shouldn't she?

"We're not going to Polis?" Clarke asked and miraculously found the willpower to increase her pace to reach Kensi's side.

Kensi answered by shaking her head but she kept walking on the high unforgivable pace.

"Where are we going then?"

"We are almost there." Kensi gave another short reply.

Once more Clarke found herself confused. She knew this area. They were still quite far from civilization. There was no village anywhere near. TonDC was still two day's travel away. Clarke couldn't help but feel a bit worried now. She wanted to grab Kensi's arm and stop her. Not only because Clarke was completely out of breath. But also because she wanted to know what was going on and she started to wonder if Kensi was actually taking her to Lexa.

However, a voice calling out Kensi's name stopped Clarke in her tracks. Kensi too stopped walking to face the owner of the voice. Clarke was grateful for that and took the opportunity to catch her breath. She placed her hands on her knees and looked to see where the voice was coming from. From the trees to their left a woman emerged. Clarke recognized her instantly.

"Indra! Ha em Heda?" Kensi asked.

Indra smiled. "Em fis op os." The smile on Indra's face faded when her eyes landed on Clarke for a few seconds. "I see you found the sky girl."

Clarke frowned. They were talking about Lexa. But the way they did made Clarke worry a bit. She is healing well, is she sick? Injured? Clarke really wanted to know what the hell was going on.

"What's wrong with her?" she asked Kensi.

Before Clarke had time to realize what happened two strong hands firmly locked themselves at the collar of Clarke's coat and the blonde was pushed backwards until her back painfully collided with a tree. Clarke flinched and found herself slightly nervous to see the hands belonged to Indra and their faces were only a few inches apart.

Indra had always been weary of Clarke. From the first time they had met all the way to the final battle at the mountain. She had been more than willing to show Clarke the pointy edge of her blade. Not only during their first meeting in Lexa's tent but also after the feast when Raven had been tied to a tree and Clarke interrupted the punishment of the falsely accused girl. And Clarke was sure there had been other occasions too that she didn't even know about. And in all those occasions it had been Lexa that stopped her and Indra had no choice but to obey.

But now Lexa wasn't here and Indra finally got to do what she wanted to do so many times and there was nothing that Lexa could do about it now. Clarke was on her own this time and had to face the skilled and dangerous warrior all by herself.

"You pretend to care about Heda, after you believe she betrayed you?" she said, pushing Clarke further against the tree.

_Maybe I do…_ she thought but made sure not to show what she was thinking to Indra.

"I care about my people and what might happen if Le-" she stopped and shortly glanced at Kensi "Heda, is dead." She quickly corrected herself.

Indra didn't let go of her powerful hold over Clarke. The blonde swallowed deeply as she felt her nerves creating a lump in her throat. A silence fell and Clarke gathered her strength to speak up again, deciding not to let the fierce warrior scare her. But surprisingly Kensi came to her aid and placed a reassuring hand on the warrior's shoulder.

"I know she speaks true, Indra. I talked about this with her already."

Indra didn't release the grip on Clarke's coat but turned her head to face Kensi. "And you just trust her, after everything that happened at the mountain?"

Kensi nodded. "I do, Indra. I will take full responsibility for her actions. But do not sell Heda short. Despite her injuries Heda is more than capable to defend herself against the Skai Prisa."

Indra growled as she realized her mistake and almost looked happy that the Commander wasn't here or she probably would have gotten an earful for not trusting her Commander's abilities. She turned her attention back to Clarke and spoke up as their eyes locked.

"You have been warned, Skai Prisa." She said and then released the grip she held on Clarke's coat.

Clarke didn't even realize she had been holding her breath until Indra let go of her. The woman still terrified her and Clarke hated the fact that she had so easily shown her fear for Indra to see.

Without saying another word Indra headed back to the tree line. Ready to disappear into the woods. Kensi followed her immediately. Clarke just stood frozen on the spot. She thought back of the short interaction between Indra and Kensi. It made her wonder what exactly Kensi's rank was in Lexa's army. Clarke knew that Indra was one of Lexa's generals. Indra had authority over a lot of Trikru warriors. Clarke had been around grounders plenty of times to know that showing a higher ranking officer disrespect was almost as bad as doing that towards the Commander. Kensi definitely was not a random warrior in Lexa's army. She held the same authority as Indra otherwise she wouldn't have been able to talk Indra down as easily as she did.

"Prisa!"

Kensi's voice interrupted her thoughts and Clarke looked up just in time to see her disappear into the woods. Quickly as she could Clarke chased after her. Kensi once more held a high pace and Clarke softly cursed at her for doing this. She made a mental note to herself to work on her stamina, it clearly hadn't been good enough yet. If only the nightmares would stop haunting her.

It was not even close to nightfall yet but after what seemed forever and once more out of breath Clarke found herself staring at a clearing. A small lake rested at the back of the clearing. Not far from the lake was a cave entrance. Smoke from a campfire emerged from the entrance and was guided up in the air by a slight breeze. Two Trikru guards stood outside the entrance of the cave.

Closer to where Clarke was standing, on her left were a few horses. A young boy around the age of twelve was looking after them, brushing the manes of the only white horse that was standing there. To Clarke's right another campfire had settled. Four warriors were sitting around it. One of them focused on sharpening her blade, while the other three held their gaze at Clarke. She might have imagined it, but she could have sworn they bowed their heads towards Clarke.

Not far from these warriors a man was tied to a pole. His face looked bloodied. It was obvious he'd been beaten. His armor had been removed, he only still had his pants on. His bare chest held several cuts that were still oozing blood. Bruises on his chest showed his ribs were either broken or severely damaged . Either way this man was in bad shape and no one seemed to care about it. Clarke wondered what he could have done to deserve such a fate.

"Wait here." Kensi told her and Clarke nodded as she watched Kensi walking to the cave. Indra remained at her side and Clarke thought this to be the perfect moment to ask her what the hell was going on.

"Indra can you please tell me what's going on?" she almost pleaded.

Indra looked at her with a typical sullen expression but seemed willing enough to answer.

"An attempt was made on Heda's life." She explained.

Clarke felt her eyes widen at this. Worry immediately took control of her body. Instinct told her to go over to the cave, which she figured out Lexa would be in, and check how serious her injuries were. But Clarke knew that the moment she put one foot forward while Kensi told her to wait, Indra would be more than happy to stop her in a more forceful way than when she had Clarke pinned to a tree a few moments ago.

Clarke didn't know why she worried so much. One part of her told her she shouldn't care for Lexa that much anymore. She fell for it once and it had hurt her, Clarke should not make that mistake again. She cursed herself for reacting the way she had. It must have been clearly visible on her face to see for Indra. Too late to hide it now.

"What happened?" she asked instead, turning her head to the man tied to the pole. He must have somehow been involved in Lexa being hurt.

"Heda will tell you, if she wishes to." Indra replied.

Clarke took a deep breath. She was moments away from seeing Lexa again. Nerves were creeping into her stomach. Was she really ready for this? Had she really forgiven Lexa for what she had done? No, no she had not. Not forgiven at least. Clarke had understood it. But forgiving Lexa for the kiss and then abandoning her? Clarke wasn't sure, but she was going to find out if she was ready soon because she spotted Kensi exiting the caving and motioning for Clarke to come to her.

This was really happening. She was going to see Lexa again. Suddenly Clarke started to feel sick and she got the urge to throw up. But Clarke knew she couldn't show weakness now. Not with a camp full of grounders and especially not with Indra around. She would never let Clarke hear the end of it. So yes, she took a deep breath, straightened her shoulders and walked over to Kensi.

"Heda will see you." Kensi said to her.

Clarke nodded and decided not to waste any more time before she started to change her mind.

As she slowly strode inside the cave she just about heard Kensi order the guards to leave before she locked out surrounding sounds and focused on the woman she saw standing at the campfire inside the cave. The pile of furs to her left and the red stained bandages and bowels of water to her right only received a short glance from the blonde.

The Commander was half naked. Her upper body only held her bindings. The state of Lexa's body showed why exactly she wasn't wearing anymore clothing. Clarke saw bandages on her left shoulder and around her waist. Part of a dark bruise showed from under the bandage around her waist and just above the bruise there was a long but not a very deep cut on her stomach. Apart from the injuries on her body, Lexa also had a cut that went down from her right eye to her ear and a cut at her jaw. Indra hadn't been lying when she said someone had tried to kill the Commander.

Lexa, standing resolute, didn't at all seem to be bothered by her injuries. She showed no emotions. No pain towards her injuries and no relief to see Clarke again, if she even was relieved. There were times where Clarke could see through the Commander's façade, but right now Lexa wouldn't let her. The woman standing in front of her definitely was the Commander and not Lexa.

"Klark." Was all she said when she greeted the blonde with a nod. Clarke shivered slightly at the way Lexa pronounced her name.

"Lexa." she replied and shrugged as she spoke up again. "They really did a number on you, didn't they?"

Lexa looked at her for a second with a frown. Clarke figured it was because she probably didn't know the saying Clarke just used but it didn't take her long to realize what she had actually meant.

"I see the Ice Nation soldiers that had captured you haven't been too kind to you either."

Clarke moved two fingers over the wound above her eyebrow and shrugged. "They fared worse."

"Only because Kensi showed up in time to save you."

Just as Clarke feared it didn't take long for frustration and anger to boil up inside her. Clarke had told herself she had understood what Lexa had done at Mount Weather. And she really did. But she hadn't thought it was going to be this difficult to face her again. To face the woman who had opened up her feelings towards her and then stabbed her in the back.

She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. She thought she had calmed down but as soon as her eyes opened and landed on Lexa, the anger started to rise again.

"I would have been fine. I don't need her help, or yours."

Her frustration seemed to finally be piercing through Lexa's mask. The Commander shook her head in disbelief and took a few paces towards Clarke. The pitch in her voice was a bit higher, but it still sounded calm and in control.

"Clarke your head would have been on a pike somewhere in Azgeda by now had Kensi not shown up."

Clarke scoffed at her. "Oh so now you suddenly care about me?"

"I've always cared about you, Clarke." Lexa said through her grinding teeth.

"Then why did you leave me at Mount Weather."

Now it was Lexa's turn to shrug at Clarke. "Clarke I know you are no fool. You are very much aware of what I did. Had Emerson approached you, you would have done the same thing. I am Heda, Clarke. I cannot afford to be selfish and ignore my people. Despite the consequences that my choice to take the deal have resulted in, I would blindly do it again. I saved hundreds of my people, instead of possibly losing that amount in a war."

Clarke wanted to yell back at Lexa. The fact that she would do it again hurt her. But the only thing that her mind focused on was the part where she mentioned the consequences of her choice to take the deal. Instead of yelling at Lexa she found herself asking the Commander about those consequences she mentioned.

"What do you mean with consequences. Is that why you have been hurt?"

Lexa had readied herself for another burst of anger from Clarke. She had already straightened her shoulders and recovered the Commander's mask to hide her emotions. So when Clarke avoided further argument and asked about Lexa's injuries, she was slightly surprised. She swallowed deeply and curled her lips together for a moment. Then she folded her arms in front of her and locked her emerald green eyes on Clarke.

"Yes." She stated. "You were not the only one disappointed by my decision to avoid war, Clarke."

When Clarke looked at her with a pair of confused blue eyes she explained what exactly had happened.

"Queen Nia has made her move and taken control of Polis. She tried to lay claim to my throne but not all of the clans will follow her. The Kongeda is divided now. War is upon us. But the queen's poisoned words have even reached my ranks. I was misled and then ambushed four days ago."

Clarke felt her eyes widen. "You have been here for four days?"

A nod was all Clarke received in response. If Lexa was away for four days from her people, a divided coalition or not, that is a very bad thing. And in an instant Clarke started to worry about her people. Lexa no longer in charge of the twelve clans was a bad thing. If Nia were to gain control this no doubt would be a bad thing for the people at Arkadia. Especially since their camp was between Ice Nation and Trikru territory.

Lexa must have noticed the worry that crept up on Clarke's face. "Your people have been informed, Clarke. Indra has spoken to Kane."

Clarke nodded. "So now what? You are going to stay here? The people here are the only ones still loyal to you?"

"No." Lexa said. "I am just here to recover. A lot of plans have already been set in motion since the ambush. The game of politics is a dangerous one Clarke, if not done correctly I could end up dead."

"You almost already did." Clarke said.

"But I didn't, and the person responsible will pay for his mistake soon enough."

Clarke glanced over her shoulder towards the man outside chained up against the pole. Lexa immediately noticed this and explained further.

"That is Fio. He is Trikru and betrayed me by giving false information and leading me into the ambush. He is the one responsible for most of my injuries after a poisoned arrow pierced my shoulder."

It was good she mentioned the poisoned arrow. Clarke was about to wonder how a normal Trikru soldier had managed to get the best of her. But the fight had never been fair with the poison in Lexa's body.

Looking once more at Lexa's injuries it was amazing how well she had recovered in just four days. She must have been in really bad shape. And if she was in pain now, she wasn't showing it. But Clarke reminded herself there was nothing new about that.

"Why did you agree to come with Kensi, Clarke?" Lexa asked her, changing the subject.

Of all the things they could talk about, this wasn't what she wanted to do. But Clarke knew she couldn't avoid this question and couldn't blame Lexa for asking. Apart from the start of their conversation, Clarke had been calm and understanding not at all showing hatred towards Lexa. As Clarke had told Kensi, she was past that. And while facing Lexa for the first time had been hard at the start, Clarke had started to feel more comfortable during their conversation. She walked to the campfire, noticing she was starting to feel bit cold, and sat down beside it crossing her legs.

Lexa frowned for a moment and then mirrored her actions by sitting down on the other side of the fire. Clarke saw a quick wince of pain that crossed her face. Sitting down must have hurt her. She quickly looked away when Lexa searched for her eyes and instead of facing Lexa she settled them on the campfire ahead of her.

"I-I can't go back to my people. I am not ready to face them yet. But I am tired of running."

Lexa offered her a raised eyebrow. "So you go to the woman who you feel betrayed you?"

Clarke shook her head. "I've had time to think. I understand Lexa, I really do. Your people come first, I would have done the same thing. I'm not angry anymore and I sure as hell don't want revenge. I am just struggling with-" Clarke paused not sure she should continue. But when she looked up from the fire and blue met a pair of almost begging green eyes the words just left her mouth. "I killed an entire population of people, Lexa. Innocent children, people who had helped us inside the mountain. Jasper's girlfriend…every time I close my eyes I see their faces, I hear their voices. I thought running away would give me peace."

"You _hoped_ running away would give you peace. I know you well enough Clarke, you never believed that would work." Lexa said.

Lexa's words were a bit harsh. But Clarke couldn't deny they were very true. Deep down Clarke had always known that running away wouldn't give her peace. But at that moment it was the only option she could take. Not even Bellamy could stop her. And while there had been positive sides of her time alone in the woods, she had learned to speak Trigedasleng and hunt, it hadn't helped at all with her battle against the demons that haunted her dreams and kept her awake.

"Heda! He's back, Timor has returned with news from the trading post."

Kensi's shouting voice interrupted the awkward silence that was slowly building between the two women.

"Wait outside, Kensi, I will be there soon." She said and slowly stood to her feet, extending her hand towards Clarke. "Come Clarke, we are nearing the next step in my plan of retaliation."

Clarke took her hand without hesitation. While standing up she suddenly noticed the bloodied and scraped knuckles on Lexa's hand. Glancing down to her other hand Clarke noticed the same. It was obvious to Clarke what exactly happened to get her hands injured like that.

And Lexa for some reason always seems to know the blonde's thoughts. "Fio is a weak man, it didn't take a lot of effort to get him to talk." she stated.

Clarke didn't say anything, she didn't want to judge or intrude on their somewhat harsh culture. She briefly thought back of the day where they had Lincoln tied up and tortured in the dropship. Desperate times calls for desperate measures. Clarke was just glad she had not seen that side of Lexa…yet.

Lexa reached for her Commander coat and started buttoning it up while she walked outside not bothering to put on a shirt. Clarke followed after her until they reached Kensi's side. Kensi stood with the horses together with a young boy. He was dressed in full grounder armor but Clarke didn't spot a tattoo on him. She guessed he couldn't have been older then fifteen.

"Heda." The boy said as he lowered his head and bowed to Lexa.

"Hola au." Lexa ordered him.

He looked hesitantly at Clarke for a moment. Obviously she was a stranger to him and he wasn't sure in a time like this it was wise to report important information like this with a stranger around.

"Disha ste Wanheda." Lexa said. "She can be trusted, speak true Timor."

He nodded and his eyes lit up at the mention of Clarke's title. "Heda, the army you requested has arrived at the trading post. The scout Kensi sent back to Selin village has also returned, they believe you are dead. Several Ice Nation soldiers have been spotted there as well."

Lexa clasped her hands behind her back and nodded at Timor. "You have done well, Timor. We will wait for nightfall and head for the trading post. Go back and inform them we will be there tonight."

"At once, Heda." He bowed his head once again and then turned to Clarke to repeat the same action towards her. "Wanheda." He said and then quickly jumped back on the horse he arrived on to rush it out of the camp.

Lexa looked at Clarke. She was staring at Timor riding away. It was obvious she was uneased by the way Timor had shown respect to her. Lexa slightly peaked one of the corners of her mouth and explained to relieve Clarke from her suffering.

"The stories were told quickly, Klark. Wanheda, legendary mountain slayer. You have freed our people from an ancient enemy that has haunted us for as long as we can remember. They respect you."

Clarke shook her head. "I wish they didn't." she said.

Lexa stepped towards her. Her eyes were calm as she spoke to Clarke. "You should focus on what you achieved with your actions Clarke. Not on the actual deed itself. Because of your actions, Skaikru now lives, your friends live. Your mother lives. As leaders we make these choices. They are difficult if not impossible to bare but to see your people alive and happy is worth more than the sacrifice that you took to save them.

"My soul is far from intact, Clarke. To ensure the safety of my people I had to darken my hands in the blood of hundreds if not thousands of innocent people. I did what I had to do to ensure my people's safety. To build the Kongeda. To see it shattered now has cut a hole so deeply in my heart I'm not sure I can fix. But I can promise you I will do everything in my power to restore the Kongeda and live in a world without war. I will do what I must to be able to return to Polis and see the happiness return on the faces of my people. Their happiness is worth any sacrifice."

The words hit her hard. Lexa was right. She was glad that her mother and friends were still alive. But having to do what she did to save them. Clarke wasn't sure it was easy to forget. But hearing Lexa's words, it was the first in a long time she felt somewhat different, more relieved.

But while Lexa could face her people after the horrible things she had done to protect them, Clarke knew she wasn't ready for that yet. She knew that her mother or Raven could not have talked with her about it like this. Raven had barely understood what Clarke had done to Finn. And her mother? Well she hadn't realized yet that Clarke is a grown woman now. She's an adult and as long as her mother can't accept that any type of conversation was going to be impossible with her.

Somehow Lexa was the only right person to talk with about this. Lexa was around her age. Lexa had no doubt been in similar or maybe even worse situations. Clarke knew now that she had made the right call. She was right where she was supposed to be. At Lexa's side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanheda ron we em gonplei, bushhada - Wanheda runs from her fight, coward
> 
> Yu ste Kwelen - You are weak
> 
> Yu laik lottau kik raun, skaigada - You are lucky we need you alive, skygirl
> 
> Yu laik stomba - You are awake
> 
> Ai laik Kensi kom Trikru - I am Kensi from the Tree people.
> 
> Wada yu klin - Clean yourself
> 
> Ha em Heda - How is the Commander
> 
> Em fis op os - She is healing well
> 
> Hola au - Speak
> 
> Disha ste Wanheda - This is the Commander of Death
> 
> Name explanations:
> 
> Kensi chosen from Kensington
> 
> Timor chosen from Baltimore


	2. Jus en kwelnes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two will be mostly drama/angst as some things will need to be settled before we get back into action in chapter 3. Also, for some of you a nice surprise might await you in this chapter.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Chapter 2 – Jus en kwelnes**

Nightfall was near. The warriors outside had been preparing a meal, Lexa convinced Clarke to eat with her as the journey ahead was less taxing with a full stomach. They sat in silence inside the cave near the campfire. While she was enjoying another bite of meat she glanced over to Lexa, studying her injuries once more.

With Lexa being in such bad shape, it was obvious she was very lucky to have survived the attempt on her life. Weakened by a poisoned arrow would mean Lexa could not have turned the tables of the ambush on her own. Not that she wanted to sell Lexa's abilities short, although she had never actually seen her fight but Clarke knew someone must have come to her aid. Did some of her warriors survive the ambush and rescued her just in time? Had Indra been there to help her? Clarke was dying to find out what exactly had happened but was hesitant to bring it up.

"Tell me what's on your mind, Clarke?"

Clarke shrugged, how did Lexa always seemed to know her thoughts? Was she maybe just a bit too easy for Lexa to read?

"I'm not sure if it's any of my business, but how exactly did you survive the ambush?"

Lexa's shoulders tensed a little. But she seemed willing to answer Clarke's question.

"Kensi." She said and continued explaining. "I'm not sure how much you remember of what I explained about the Kongeda to you Clarke. But one of the clans in my coalition is the Lake People. The Lake People are the closest clan to Azgeda and together with Azgeda the most difficult clan to get to join the coalition. Like Azgeda I never really trusted them and planned to get eyes and ears in there by using Kensi as a spy. That was four summers ago. She was ordered to send me reports every season. Which she did for five seasons and then everything became quiet."

"You thought she switched sides?" Clarke asked.

But Lexa shook her head, her eyes were filled with assurance as she replied.

"Kensi is well trained and loyal. She would never betray me. I feared at first she was discovered and killed but they would have sent her head back to Polis".

"Wouldn't that have started a war?"

Lexa shook her head again. "No, only if I admit to having sent a spy into their midst. If other clans find out they would become suspicious and will no longer support the Kongeda. But the Lake people would never have gotten any proof because if Kensi would have been captured she would rather suffer and die than betray me."

Clarke really had no intention to spark the fire in the simple conversation they were having. But she could not control the feeling that got to her after Lexa mentioned the word betrayal again. Before Clarke could stop herself she shrugged at Lexa's words and dropped her fork. It rattled off her plate causing a loud echo to resonate through the cave, before the echo could completely subside Clarke spit out the first words that came to her mind.

"She could teach you a thing or two about loyalty then."

_Well shit, I had to say it didn't I?_

Lexa paused with her fork in mid-air. The atmosphere changed in an instant and Clarke could feel it. Her green eyes darkened and showed Lexa was even not remotely amused by the sarcastic remark from the Sky girl. She struggled to not let Clarke's words get to her. She could see Lexa's jaw moving back and forth. But it was useless and with every passing second her eyes became darker and showed her restraint was reaching its limit.

"Clarke don't you da-"

Lexa was incensed. Her chest heaved with every breath she took. Seeing the anger in her eyes made Clarke forget all about her earlier regret for being responsible for the Commander's anger. Instead she interrupted whatever Lexa was going to say, jumped to her feet and let out that what had been eating at her insides for months.

"You kissed me, Lexa!" She yelled, taking a few steps closer to tower over Lexa "You kissed me…" she hissed this time, realizing that she probably shouldn't yell. "That's why I'm angry. Not because you left because I know you had to put your people first. But that kiss…"

Clarke looked down at Lexa to see the young woman at war with her emotions. She fought to remain as Commander in the conversation. Clarke kept her gaze at Lexa and saw her putting her fork down and slowly struggle to get back to her feet. When she finally stood she purposely averted Clarke's gaze as she spoke up again.

"I do not regret that I did, Clarke." And it was clear the Commander had lost the battle of Lexa's internal struggle.

Clarke searched for her eyes, and it definitely was Lexa standing in front of her. Her emerald eyes held emotion. Not much but enough for Clarke to see. _Good_ , she thought. It would be next to impossible for Clarke to have this talk if Lexa had her walls up.

"Well I _do_ regret that you kissed me and I kissed you back." She said but Clarke realized it hadn't sounded convincing enough. And she wasn't sure that it was actually true.

"You tell yourself that." Lexa clearly noticed this too. "And you can tell yourself that you have come here for your people. But I know better…I know _you_ , Klark."

Lexa tried to take a careful step closer to Clarke but the blonde immediately stepped away from her.

"Don't, Lexa. Don't pretend you know me. You don't get to do that. I am here for my people no matter what you believe. I am not angry at you for choosing your people over mine, I'm angry at you for kissing me." Lexa wanted to say something but Clarke didn't let her. "You should have known better. Yes so should I, but you initiated the kiss. You started all this. You _should_ regret that you kissed me."

Clarke's words did not have the effect she'd hoped for. In an instant Lexa had put her walls back around her heart and she went back to being the Commander. She clasped her hands behind her back, straightened her shoulders and the slight hint of sadness in her eyes was erased in an instant. It's a good thing that Clarke hadn't blinked at that moment or she would have missed the transformation. Lexa no longer had the intension of facing her feelings.

"Very well, Clarke. Have it your way. As Commander of my people I should not have done that. But I did. What's done is done. We should not dwell on the past now."

"Jesus Christ Lexa, can you just stop being the Commander and have this conversation with me as a normal human being? It's just the two of us here."

Lexa opened her mouth with the intension to speak, her lips quivered. She swallowed deeply and lowered her green eyes to the campfire to avoid having to look at Clarke. Clarke was thrown off by this; she'd seen that look on her before. Lexa had held the same look just before she kissed her.

"I do not understand what you ask of me, Clarke. You say as Commander I should not have kissed you but to talk about this you want me to just be Lexa. It is impossible for me to be both at the same time."

Clarke was fuming with anger now. "It was just Lexa that kissed me that night! You put your duties as Commander behind you at that moment and you kissed me."

"So you are saying I should have known better?" Lexa retorted angrily. She removed her gaze from the campfire and gathered the courage to face the seething woman in front of her. "Clarke you hold a power over me that I cannot describe, nor ignore it. Feelings like this, I have not felt them since Costia. Feelings like that just happen and it doesn't matter if I am the Commander or Lexa. I cannot hide from them even if I try. And trust me Clarke, I've tried."

Clarke let out a frustrating grunt and threw her hands up in the air. She did her best not to blush at the kind, caring words Lexa had thrown at her. She was trying with every sense in her body to hate her and be angry at her. Clarke had already admitted to Lexa she wasn't angry at her for taking the deal at the mountain. She could not and would not give in on the last thing she held Lexa accountable for; a broken heart.

No, Clarke needed to be angry at her. She could not just stand here and let Lexa know she was forgiven for it all. She would not. Clarke refused to give in.

"So that's why you have Kensi haul me over here. To tell me you do not regret kissing me and you care about me?"

At this point Clarke half expected Lexa to have already put her walls back up but amazingly Lexa did not give in and was as stubborn as Clarke.

"As I said at the mountain Clarke, I do care."

"More so about your people than about me." Clarke snapped.

"I am their Commander, Clarke. I have to-"

Clarke shrugged. "Put them first, yeah I know. So tell me, honestly, as Lexa you care. But as Commander, why have you brought me here. Why am I here, what is there to gain from my presence here for you as the Commander."

Lexa's jaw dropped. Clarke immediately knew she had struck a nerve there. Lexa didn't have to say it, Clarke could read it all over her face. But Clarke was determined; Lexa was not getting out of this conversation. With her eyes locked on Lexa, her arm stretched out to the exit of the cave. Her eyes were on fire and held plenty of warning.

"If you don't tell me I will walk away right now and go back to wondering the wilderness. Then you can only pray the Ice Nation won't get their hands on me because I sure as hell will not go back willingly with Kensi if you send her to get me again."

Lexa took a deep breath. Her lower lip trembled as she gathered the courage to speak again. But once she spoke her words were calm and showed no hint of nervousness. To Clarke it still was a victory though, she had gotten Lexa to talk once more without her walls up.

"I need you as much as you need me for this war. Or more I need Wanheda. The reason Ice Nation and their allies are after you is because they believe that when they kill you they get your power. Trust me in this Clarke; the title Wanheda is really close to mine. People will honor you, fear you, respect you or despise you. You might not know it and you might not like it but your actions at the mountain have given you great power. The clans still at my side might even wish for me to kill you."

"But you won't. Because you _care_ about me." Clarke said mockingly.

"I won't." Lexa corrected her. "Because I prefer to have your people as an ally not an enemy. Also, as Heda I don't have to kill you. Having the loyalty of Wanheda will be enough for me."

Clarke gasped at those words and if she wasn't already angry she was absolutely furious now. "My loyalty?" Clarke felt her blood boil. "You intend to use me."

But Clarke wasn't the only one getting angry. Lexa's tolerance for Clarke's attitude had reached its limit. The fire in her eyes matched that of Clarke's. It was as if two demons from the depths of hell were battling a never ending war.

"That's enough Clarke! This is pointl-ah."

In an instant she collapsed to her knees, the pain was evident in Lexa's eyes. Her hand reached out to her stomach in reflex. Clarke saw her eyes rolling back as she fell forward. She rushed to Lexa's side to place her hands firmly on Lexa's shoulders and thus preventing the Commander from falling over.

"Lexa!" she heard herself call out to the Commander, their earlier heated discussion forgotten in the haze of panic.

It was just about enough to prevent Lexa from passing out. Clarke searched for her eyes and saw Lexa blinking a few times to keep her eyes open. Sweat covered every visible inch of her face and body.

Clarke immediately knew this wasn't good. Her body was heating up and that could mean infection. Her blue eyes hastily inspected Lexa's body and spotted the reason for Lexa collapsing. The wound in her stomach was bleeding through the bandages. Clarke cursed at herself, realizing she probably was the one responsible for this. She had been stubborn and confronted Lexa with her conflicting feelings while Lexa actually should have been resting. There was no time for regret, she would need to see the severity of her injuries.

"Klark-"

Lexa made intensions to get back on her feet but Clarke increased the pressure on Lexa's shoulders and searched for her eyes to make them meet with a stern look in her own.

"No. You are not getting up. Sit down, you need new bandages and that wound needs new stitches. You tore them." _Or rather I did_.

Lexa refused to listen and struggled against Clarke. Clarke was surprised by the strength she still held and was worried if she didn't talk the Commander out of getting up she would lose this fight.

"You don't understand Clarke, I-"

Without giving it any thought, Clarke placed her hands on Lexa's cheeks to try and calm her. "I do understand, Lexa." She started. "You are afraid you'll appear weak. But it's just me in here ok? You don't have to worry about that. We've already seen each other's weaknesses when we kissed, remember?"

Clarke pulled the slightest of smiles from Lexa. She could see her battling internally before looking back up at Clarke and nodded. "Good, your people are outside and if I remember your words correctly they were not to disturb us. So sit down and let me look at that wound."

Another nod went out towards her and she helped Lexa down in a more comfortable position. Clarke went to pick up clean bandages and the equipment needed to reapply the stitches. She remembered seeing them earlier the first time she had entered the cave.

Not much later she knelt down at Lexa's side and removed the bandages that covered the stab wound in her stomach. Her eyes shortly averted to the slight visibility of her abs but soon she focused on the task at hand and switched her attention back to the injury. The bleeding had stopped but the stitches had been completely torn. A long drawn sigh escaped her lips as a wave of guilt entered her mind.

"I'm sorry Lexa, I caused this…" she said softly and moved a wet rag gently over the wound to clean the blood away.

"Yes you did Clarke. I don't see why you are so keen on having to be victorious in every discussion we have."

"Why don't we continue talking about Kensi and the ambush before we end up yelling at each other again, hmm?" Clarke suggested.

"Talking about this was what started it, Clarke."

"Lexa…please?"

A protesting groan escaped Lexa's lips. "Very well Clarke."

And once again, without either women realizing, Clarke had been victorious in yet another one of their discussions.

"Good. So Kensi never betrayed you. What happened?"

"Fio was one of Indra's most trusted warriors. He had reported news of a few missing scouts. They were already a day late and when Fio said they were found dead I wanted to see it in person. We set out with about a dozen of my warriors and Fio led us right into the ambush. Because Fio had always been loyal I never suspected anything. The ambush came as a complete surprise."

Clarke could see Lexa's eyes were filling with guilt. She blamed herself for the ambush. As Commander she probably should have seen it coming, or at least that is what Lexa expected of herself. But if there was one thing Clarke had learned that the more you get to know a person, the less you actually know about them. This had been all but true when she thought back of Finn. Finn who had always wanted to find a peaceful solution to everything but in a haze of anger and panic, ended up killing innocent people in TonDC.

Clarke thought she knew Finn and never thought him capable of such a horrific act. And if she had not been there to see it for herself she never would have believed it. But she had and Finn is dead now. The fact that she had killed him herself instead of letting Lexa and her people deliver the pain of 18 deaths is a mercy that he didn't actually deserve. But Raven did deserve the mercy of not seeing the man she loved go through such a torment, even though Raven had felt betrayed for a long time before she started to understand what Clarke had done.

Clarke shrugged to herself. One way or another, with life on the ground betrayal always seemed to lurk around the corner and strike when we least expect it.

"What happened next?" Clarke asked interrupting her own thoughts.

"I did what I could to defend myself but my warriors stood no chance against the Lake people archers. My fight with Fio was already lost with the poison in my blood. But despite my disadvantage I still managed to put up a fight before the poison took its toll. When I was finally too weak to defend myself he stabbed me. Then Kensi and her second showed up. They had silently killed the archers that killed my men while Fio and I were fighting and then took out Fio before he could kill me."

Clarke nodded but couldn't help but feel a lump in her throat at the thought of how close Lexa had been to dying.

"I lost consciousness shortly after that. When I came to Kensi told me Timor brought Indra and a handful of warriors to stay here with us until I have healed enough to travel. She apologized for her silence and begged me for my forgiveness stating she would do anything in her power to gain my trust again. I mostly ignored her and told her to leave, Indra insisted that Kensi stayed with us as she would be vital to our plans to avenge the attempt on my life. Everything that happened afterwards you mostly know already now."

Clarke nodded. Lexa had been so focused on telling Clarke her story that she hadn't noticed the blonde had already started redoing the stitches. But now that Lexa had paused for a few moments her focus suddenly went to the wound, she flinched when Clarke moved the needle through the sensitive flesh at her stomach.

"How did you make the Lake people believe you are dead?" Clarke said, deciding to continue distracting Lexa while she kept working on the stitches.

"The Lake people had sent Kensi to oversee the ambush. She had a scout sent back to deliver news to the Lake people that I was dead. Kensi and Fio were to go to Azgeda in person to report this. By now Azgeda will no doubt have realized that not everything went to plan as they never reported in. They will send warriors to the village to find out what happened themselves. I believe we have one more day before they arrive and find out the scout lied and Kensi betrayed them. At night fall we should go to the trading post, gather my army and head for Selin village. There we will extract the leader of the Lake people; Colioh. He is the one who had planned the ambush together with the Ice Nation. He is the one Kensi had been working for the last four summers."

Lexa looked down at her stomach and saw Clarke had finished stitching the wound. Clarke closely inspected the stiches, seeing that they looked strong enough, she reached for a clean piece of cloth to dip it in the bowl of water and cleaned the wound again before continuing their conversation.

"A whole army for just one man? Isn't that a bit excessive?"

"No, it's a necessity. An attack on the Commander's life is punishable by death. A leader of a clan ordering my death is even worse. The Kongeda might be broken at the moment Clarke but that doesn't mean I can't still enforce my laws. He will be punished for his crimes and if his people refuse to bend to my will, so will they."

A flash of horror shot through Clarke's eyes at how cavalier Lexa said this, as though punishing an entire village for another man's crimes was a mere meager act. It sent chills down her spine. Lexa said it with such conviction that Clarke was certain she had done something similar before. But then Clarke realized Lexa had explained this earlier today. She will make any sacrifice to protect her people. This plan in her head was yet another sacrifice she had to make.

It reminded Clarke once again that she was no longer living on the Ark. Sure the laws were strict there as well, maybe more so than the Grounder's laws because she doubts anyone would ever have been executed for simple theft of medicine or making their own booze. The culture on the ground was still harsh though. It's a reality she lives in now and she will have to try and adjust to it.

And while that was already difficult enough for her, her own people had even more trouble with it. Her mother and many others saw them as nothing but savages, despite the fact back on the Ark they were floating people. And all this time while generations have been living in the Ark in space, an entire new civilization had been forming down on earth. Laws and beliefs had been crafted. Wars have been fought over the years and the mountain men had hunted them for almost a century. All Lexa and her people knew was trying to survive. Lexa had worked so hard to form the Kongeda to fight their common enemy and thrive for peace. Now with that enemy gone all she had fought for was on the brink of collapse and Clarke could more than understand that terrible sacrifices would have to be made in order to restore the coalition.

Clarke's attention went back to Lexa as she continued talking.

"Like I told you Clarke, as leaders we do what we must to ensure the safety of our people. If I appear weak, I will lose this war and it will be _my_ people who are slaughtered. Azgeda will show no mercy and spare no one from Trikru and our allies."

Clarke nodded to show Lexa she understood and reached for clean bandages.

"Yeah, I kind of found that out for myself at the mountain." She said. "And the dropship." She added quickly.

Clarke motioned for Lexa to raise her arms so that she could apply the bandage, Lexa instantly complied. She continued talking while covering up the wound in Lexa's stomach.

"It's just sad, Lexa. You made a deal to save your people, only for it to backfire and cause a civil war where even more people might die."

"It is. We cannot always predict what will happen. I blame myself for not anticipating Nia's move against me. But what's done is done and now I will have to get Polis and the coalition back under my control. It will be an uphill battle and many sacrifices will have to be made to restore peace to my people."

The bandage was now firmly wrapped around Lexa's abdomen to ensure the stitches wouldn't tear again. Clarke gathered the dirty bandages and water bowl and stood to her feet. She proceeded to place the water bowl and bandages in the corner with the rest of the dirty ones.

"It all comes so easy for you, I tried to give the horrible things I've done a place, but it keeps haunting me."

Clarke hadn't realised she stopped walking and was staring down at the pile of blood stained cloth and bandages. The smell of dry blood entered her nostrils and triggered a sick feeling in her stomach. Just a moment ago without any hesitation she'd cleaned and stitched up the knife wound in Lexa's stomach. But now that she stood there in silence the scent of blood had triggered the haunting memories she had of her horrible actions at Mount Weather.

Clarke had killed hundreds of innocent people. She was fairly sure that Lexa as Commander would have the blood of innocents, no matter the age on her hands as well. But Lexa acted at least as if it didn't bother her. Lexa had been prepared for the life of a leader, she had been trained for this. Clarke on the other hand was thrown into this by the council, by her mother. She had taken up the leadership role all by herself. Instead of being sent to die in space she had to be a leader for the other kids that had been sent down with her. The decisions she had made were tough, unforgivable and now she couldn't live with the consequences, no matter how hard she tried.

Her thoughts had drifted so far away that she never noticed Lexa walking towards her. Clarke was startled when Lexa's hands brushed past her own and removed the bowl from her hands to place it on the ground. Then a hand gently landed on her shoulder and another on her lower back to guide her away from the scene that had caused Clarke to freeze in panic.

"It doesn't come easy to me Clarke. None of the decisions I make as Commander have been easy. I know what you're thinking. You think because I've been trained that it makes it easier to make sacrifices. But it doesn't. When I first took command I had many demons to fight. I had to find out on my own how to live with the decisions a commander has to make. Until this day it still isn't easy to make them but I have found a way to live with them."

When content with the distance they now had from the pile of bloody bandages Lexa locked her eyes on Clarke before she continued talking.

"Just as I had to do this on my own Clarke, you will have to as well. I can't help you with this, you will have to figure it out on your own and if you think you can do this here rather than with your own people then I don't mind, I can have one of my warriors take you to TonDC. You can stay there."

Clarke immediately shook her head. "No. No I'm coming with you." She said determined.

"No." Lexa stated clearly. "I am going to war Clarke. You will see a side of me that you won't like, you will see things that will only increase the nightmares that already haunt you. I cannot allow this."

Clarke folded her arms. Her blue eyes were filled with determination and if Lexa watched closely she also noticed a slight hint of annoyance in them. But it was there only briefly.

"You said I had to do this on my own. Sitting by myself in a village I'm responsible of destroying while you are out there fighting a war that affects my people is not an option. I _need_ to come with you. Besides, you said that having Wanheda at your side will strengthen your position as Commander."

One corner of Lexa's mouth arched up. "I did say that, didn't I?"

"Yes you did."

And Clarke smiled back at her. Lexa nodded and not only was Clarke right but Lexa knew it was pointless to discuss this any further with Clarke. She had made up her mind and showing up at the village with Wanheda would definitely help her.

"Then you better get ready Clarke. The sun is setting it's time to head for the trading post and meet up with my army."

"I suppose it would be pointless of me to say that you are too injured to ride a horse, let alone go to war?"

"It is. I'll be fine Clarke, I've had worse."

"Fine, but if you tear your stitches again I'm not going to be the one to fix it, someone else can."

A slightly larger smile then before appeared on Lexa's face. "That won't happen, you are a skilled healer Clarke the stitches will hold."

"Flatterer." Clarke joked with a blush.

Lexa fell silent for a moment and then showed a hint of confusion on her face. "Can I ask you something, Clarke?" she sounded hesitant but Clarke nodded. "What is a Jesus Christ?"

The blonde was taken completely by surprise. She blinked once, then twice and then suddenly burst out into laughter. Much to Lexa's annoyance, who now felt slightly embarrassed and confused.

"Why are you laughing at me?"

Clarke chuckled a few more times before she regained her composure and decided to answer Lexa before she lost her temper.

"That's a story for another time, Lexa. But if you must know, some would say Jesus Christ is a fictional person not an object. But let's go before Indra and Kensi run out of patience and drag us out of here."

* * *

The moon shone brightly in the night sky as Clarke's eyes met with Lexa's army. It was not as large as the one that had been gathered to attack Mount Weather but was still large and intimidating nonetheless. Men and women alike, some not even old enough to be called man or woman yet. This failed to surprise her anymore. Clarke herself was still only a teenager at nineteen years of age and she had seen and done thing worse than most of the people in Lexa's army.

Rather impressively the army made a path for Lexa to pass through. It split in half on a way Clarke remembered reading about in her history lessons about the bible. How Moses parted the Red Sea to give his people safe passage across the ocean. Every soldier they passed stepped back in place. It was an impressive sight to see.

After passing the army they dismounted their horses and Lexa immediately started issuing orders whilst stable boys tended to the horses.

"Kensi, you and Indra will travel ahead. Take ten warriors with you and take care of the Lake People scouts. You know the terrain, you know their patrolling routes. They cannot know we are coming."

Both Kensi and Indra nodded. "Sha Heda."

Indra walked away but Kensi was grabbed by her wrist and pulled back to the Commander. "Do not fail me, Kensi. Not again." She said. Her words were low and deep enough to send shivers down Clarke's spine.

She held her grip on Kensi's wrist a little while longer until Kensi nodded and showed Lexa she understood the message. Clarke watched the scene from Lexa's side and knew exactly what she was doing.

"You are still punishing her?" It was more a statement then a question.

The look on Lexa's face remained stoic when she turned to meet Clarke's gaze. "I am yes. She might have saved my life and yours but Kensi still has a lot to make up for. She stopped reporting to me, instead of falling silent she should have found different ways to report to me. She let her Commander down and I cannot just let that slip by."

"Was sending her to find me also a punishment?" Clarke asked and the tone in her voice was a bit bitter.

"No." Lexa said and started walking towards a tent that had been setup for her. Clarke followed her closely. "Kensi had volunteered for that, to prove her loyalty."

Clarke nodded to show she understood.

"Their punishment is what keeps the remaining of my warriors sharp, Clarke. If any of my warriors fail me I can't look the other way. Others will think they will get leniency when failing me and they may not be as sharp and focused as they will be when they know there are inescapable consequences for their mistakes."

They had stopped walking and now stood just outside of Lexa's tent. Lexa clasped her hands behind her back but did not walk inside yet. Instead she quickly glanced to the two guards who stood outside of the tent. Neither of them daring to look at their Commander unless ordered to.

Clarke was one step behind Lexa but didn't take Lexa's pause as a hint to stop talking. "What do you mean their punishment? Who else is being punished? Indra?" she wondered.

Lexa glanced at Clarke over her shoulder, their eyes met and the look on her face was no longer stoic. Instead she held a really small hint of a smile on her face. She then looked at the guard to her left for a few moments before heading into the tent leaving a confused Clarke behind.

Clarke frowned and decided to turn her gaze towards the guard that had briefly been looked at by the Commander. And then her eyes widened instantly when she recognized the woman who stood there. Clarke wanted to say something to her but she realized she was probably not allowed to say anything back and didn't want to embarrass her more than she probably already was. Clarke at least was glad to see her alive though she was well aware the feeling might not be mutual.

She walked inside the tent and saw Lexa smile at her when she realized Clarke recognized the guard outside. "Isn't being forced to guard your tent more an embarrassment then a punishment for her?" she asked Lexa.

Lexa went to sit down on her bed and started to unbutton her coat. Clarke saw the relief on her face when the coat was finally off and her injuries had some breathing room.

"For someone like Anya humiliation is the worst possible punishment, Clarke. She is a General, my warriors are supposed to look up to her. She failed her mission, her Heda. Having to stand guard now for her warriors to see her like this is worse than taking a beating or lashes. And this way my warriors will realize the price they could pay for failing me, because they know what it feels like for Anya to stand there."

Clarke was glad now that she actually didn't laugh at Anya for having to stand guard. She realized Lexa was right and now felt a bit sorry for her. Anya was punished because of her, Clarke had left her unconscious in the woods.

" _You fought well Clarke."_

_Just as Anya had planned to do earlier Clarke was ready to strike the woman down. But a reflection in the sky caught her attention and when she looked up she saw a beacon floating in the sky. The beacon that could only have been there because of_ her _people._

" _They're alive." She mumbled and lowered the blade to face Anya with pleading eyes. "Please Anya, can we just part ways here, tell your Commander that we need to talk? We need to work together in order to defeat the mountain men."_

" _There is no we, Sky girl." Anya bit back determined._

_Clarke huffed. "Like hell there isn't." and Anya was too weak from the blood loss and traveling they had done to stop Clarke from knocking her unconscious._

"Are you alright, Clarke?"

Lexa's words interrupted the short flashback Clarke was having. "Yes, I'm fine. Just feeling a bit guilty for Anya's punishment. And if she didn't already hate me she must really hate me now."

Lexa smiled. "Don't feel guilty, Clarke. She failed her mission, she will have to live with the consequences."

"For how much longer are you going to punish her? It's been a long time since I left her unconscious."

Lexa stood from the bed and went to a bowl of water. She removed a cup from the cupboard next to it and filled it with water. "Not for much longer Clarke, I will need her for this war. I will probably reinstate her position before we leave for Selin Village." Lexa saw the worry sneaking onto Clarke's face as she took a few sips from her water. "Clarke, Anya is not going to harm you. She might give you a hard time but she will no hurt you...much."

"Lexa!" she said but saw the teasing look in her eyes. "That's not funny."

"Relax Clarke, she will know no harm is to come to you. You are Wanheda now. Anya knows this too."

She beckoned the hand that was holding the cup to the back of the room. "You should get yourself cleaned up Clarke. Have a bath and I will arrange some clothes for you better suited for the coming days."

"Lexa, I'm fairly sure that bath was made for you, not for me."

"Yes but you need it more than I do Clarke, besides I have some arrangements to make anyways. I will bathe after you are done."

Clarke scuffed at Lexa. "Did you just tell me I smell?"

Lexa chuckled slightly and placed her now empty cup back on the cupboard. Slowly making her way to exit the tent she looked over her shoulder to answer Clarke's question. "You are the one who has been living in the wilderness for half a season Clarke." She said and then exited the tent.

* * *

Clarke studied herself in the mirror. She had no idea the bath could make her feel so good. Clarke thought she must have been in it for an hour, if not more. It felt nice and apart from jumping in a lake to get cleaned up Clarke never actually had a bath before. She could do this more often.

During her bath an attendant named Maryl had requested entry to bring some clothes for Clarke. Clarke had told her to come in and the girl had her head down for the short time she had been inside to bring Clarke's clothes. After a quick "Goodbye Wanheda" and a nod she had left without a word to leave her to her bath.

As soon as she had dressed herself Clarke had to admit they were very comfortable and seemed to be the perfect size for her. The black pair of pants fits her perfectly. They were tight but flexible at the same time. She had a feeling the ripples on her thighs and knees were responsible for that. In the ripples at her thighs a few small pockets had been sewn in to perfectly fit in a knife. Two of them were on each side. The shirt she was wearing was dark-grey, long sleeved and it fell well over her waistline but it was comfortable nonetheless. Even the black combat boots she's been given were comfortable though Clarke did feel a bit out of character in grounder gear, more so once she put on the coat that had been laid out on the bed for her. It looked very much like the coat Kensi had been wearing only this one was a bit longer and the metal sewn into the coat was only visible on her shoulders and elbows.

She might feel out of character, Clarke approved of how she looked. Tugging a few still damp blonde locks behind her ears she gave herself one last look in the mirror before turning on her heels and exiting the tent. But Clarke had barely set foot outside of it when she collided with someone and was forced to take a small step back when she noticed the person in front of her refused to move. Clarke looked up in the brown eyes that belonged to Anya, still dressed in her guard uniform with the red waistband around her hips. Clarke felt herself swallow deeply when she looked into the deep an intimidating stare of the grounder woman.

"You left me behind." She said coldly.

Clarke somehow found the courage to speak. "After you tried to kill me." She was not going to let Anya intimidate her. "And frankly I'm pretty sure I saved your life that way, if I'd taken you with me you would have probably been killed. My people were on edge and even shot at me when I arrived until I identified myself to them."

Anya shrugged. "As if I would let you take me there."

Clarke smirked. "You were weakened by all the blood the mountain men had been draining from you and from us traveling for two days." She said and increased her smile. "Weakened enough to lose to a Sky girl with no combat training." She said mockingly.

Clarke immediately regretted this when Anya grabbed Clarke by her shirt and yanked her closer. "You'd be wise not to mock me, Clarke. I am fully recovered now and Heda just reinstated my position as General."

"Anya, chil yu daun!"

The voice was threatening and loud and it belonged to none other than the Commander. And the words had barely left Lexa's mouth when Clarke felt Anya removing her grip and stepping away from Clarke. She slightly widened her stance, clasped her arms behind her back and looked stoically ahead of her, realizing she might be in trouble. Clarke smiled to herself, it was almost like she was looking at Lexa right now.

Lexa stepped in front of Anya and she didn't look pleased at all. Her eyes were stern and clearly showed anger. "Gon we, Anya. Ban we yu sich kom Klark. Zo sta gon we, Teik yu ogud"

Anya nodded. "Sha Heda." She said and immediately left.

Lexa turned her deepened gaze to Clarke before she walked into her tent and Clarke could only guess that meant she had to follow Lexa back inside. The moment Clarke set foot back into the tent she was greeted with Lexa's stoic face. Her hands were folded together in front of her chest and the disapproving look Anya had received earlier was now aimed at Clarke.

"That goes for you too, Clarke." She started. "Put your differences with Anya behind you."

Clarke shrugged. "I never had a problem with Anya to begin with, Lexa."

"Don't insult me, Clarke. You were provoking her."

Clarke opened her mouth to protest but realized she had no right to do so. Lexa was right, she had been provoking Anya. Even though it was Anya who had started the confrontation, Clarke could have chosen to ignore it but instead she added fuel to the fire.

"Fine, I'll behave." She said and as a peace offering she showed Lexa a hint of a smile.

Lexa didn't seem to give in at first. But then her green eyes started darting over Clarke's appearance. Lexa was inspecting the new outfit Clarke was wearing and she seemed more then impressed by it. When their eyes met again the stoic look was wiped away from Lexa's face and she almost mirrored the smile that Clarke still held on her face.

"Our clothing makes you look…impressive." She said softly.

Clarke swallowed deeply and felt herself blush from the compliment Lexa gave her. "It looks strange to me, but at the same time it's really comfortable."

Lexa nodded. "The outfit is meant to be worn in battle. It would not be suitable for it if it was not comfortable. A well geared warrior is the first step towards winning a fight."

Lexa turned around and moved over to the cupboard that was resting next to her bed. She opened a drawer and Clarke saw her removing two knifes from it before turning her attention back to Clarke.

"If you want to really come with me to Selin then I will not allow you to go unarmed." She said and took a step closer to Clarke.

Clarke watched as Lexa moved her hand to her hips and effortlessly slipped the knives in the pockets that had been sewn into the fabric of her pants. They fit perfectly into it and it was almost as if the knifes were made specifically for the pants that Clarke is wearing.

As Lexa stepped away Clarke moved two fingers over the hilt of one of the knives. Her nails scratched over the rippled patterns on the hilt as she let out a deep breath. "Thank you, Lexa. But I kind of wish I had a gun on me…"

Lexa flinched at Clarke's words and shook her head to show her disapproval. "A gun will not have an endless amount of bullets. Especially not now you are away from your people. And even so, will your people have an endless supply of bullets? Eventually you will run out and then what? You are not skilled with a knife or sword. You and your people are relying too much on your technology Clarke. You are not in space anymore. Right here, this is your reality now. You need to start accepting that you can no longer trust in your technology. You need to start to learn how to defend yourself, to fight with a blade instead of relying on a weapon that is eventually going to outlive its usefulness."

Clarke gasped at Lexa's words and realized how true they were. "I-I…uhm." She stuttered and reached her hand up to tug it at the back of her neck. "Would you teach me?"

"What?" Lexa asked confused.

"Would you teach me how to fight, how to defend myself?"

Now it was Lexa who was slightly blushing. Clarke's words took her by surprise but she quickly composed herself. She straightened her shoulders and a proud smile found its way on her face.

"I would be my honor to train you, Clarke. But not until we are back at TonDC."

Clarke nodded. "Yeah, of course."

Lexa nodded back and suddenly the smile disappeared and was replaced by concern. The brunette placed her hands on Clarke's shoulders and searched for her blue eyes. "Clarke, are you absolutely sure you want to come with me? Things could get ugly. I might do things you would not approve off and I can't have you judging me or disobeying my orders in front of my warriors. The last thing I want to do is hurt you Clarke, but if you-"

"Lexa…" Clarke interrupted her and gently placed her hands on Lexa's. "I get it. I know what I am getting myself into. I need to do this. I realize how bad it might get, I really do. And I respect your culture. I will not call you out on it, not in front of your warriors no matter what happens. Maybe when we are alone, like we are now, but I would never ever do anything to endanger, embarrass or insult you in front of your people."

Both women kept staring at each other. Lexa offered Clarke a slight nod in acceptance and understanding. Clarke could see Lexa still wasn't happy with her decision to come with her. Not because she didn't want Clarke at her side but more so because she knew what it could do to Clarke and it worried her. At this point Clarke could read Lexa's face like a book.

But Clarke knew she had to do this. Lexa had been right when she said they weren't in space anymore. She's no longer a teenager stuck in space, stuck in solitary for knowing a secret her Dad had been killed for. She was on earth now and no matter how harsh, the reality right now is that war was lurking around the corner. And while her people back at Arkadia are trying to make the best of the situation on the ground Clarke knew that she has to protect her people.

She had already carried the burden to protect them at Mount Weather, TonDC and the dropship and she knew that whatever is to come it will have to be her burden to bear as well. This was her life now. Her young age no longer defines her. Clarke no longer is a teenager, she is a woman now. A woman who would have to make the difficult decisions for her people. A woman who would have to see and do things for her people so that they don't have to. Even though some of them might never know the things she did and will do to protect them and even though some of the closest to her think she is a monster for what she's done. As long as she knows that she does these things to protect them Clarke doesn't care what her people think of her. This is her life now and whatever consequences it would hold, Clarke will face it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Jus and Kwelnes - Blood and Weakness
> 
> Anya, chil yu daun! – Anya, stand down!
> 
> Gon we, Anya. Ban we yu sich kom Klark. Zo sta gon we, Teik yu ogud - Leave, Anya. Take away your problems with Clarke. We are moving out soon, prepare yourself.
> 
> Name explanations:
> 
> Maryl chosen from Maryland
> 
> Colioh chosen from Colorado / Ohio.


	3. Baman en Givnes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa will show the Commander and dark side of herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for your kudos, bookmarks and comments! Glad you are all enjoying the story and recieving feedback etc really keeps me motivated to continue writing. As I mentioned at the start of this story, it's going to be dark. So don't say I didn't warn you and take that into account when you start reading chapter 3.

**Chapter 3 – Baman en Givnes**

Lexa hates jealousy. She never really was one to feel it and frankly she never really understood people who were jealous. Up until now that is. Her insides tightened and her breathing quickened at the sight of Clarke hugging the trader girl Niylah. She knew Clarke and Niylah were close. Earlier this evening while Clarke was having her bath Lexa went to see Niylah to get some decent clothing for Clarke. Niylah told Lexa how Clarke had been visiting her on occasion and how she had taught Clarke how to hunt and speak Trigedasleng.

That was the first moment she had felt jealous. Lexa wished she be the one teaching Clarke those things. But after betraying her at Mount Weather she knew she was fortunate to have Clarke at her side now. Lexa could not describe how happy she was by this. Though that feeling of happiness diminished when she saw Clarke and Niylah hugging. Lexa couldn't help but feel that pit of jealousy in her stomach…again.

"Heda."

Her thoughts snapped back to reality after hearing her title being called out by a familiar voice. She turned to see Tys approaching her. Tys is an experienced warrior, he had served two Commanders prior to Lexa and was not only a skilled fighter but also brought a lot of wisdom.

On more occasions than she could count Lexa asked him for guidance in her early years as Commander and Tys had always been there for her. If there had ever been a father figure for her, it was Tys. Lexa hadn't seen him since she left Polis for the war with the Sky people and to say she was happy to see him was an understatement.

It almost looked as if his short hair had gotten a few more streaks of grey. From looking at his brown eyes she could tell he was just as happy to see her. If Lexa hadn't been out in public for everyone to see she would have given him a strong hug. One that a daughter would give her father when they had been separated for too long. Knowing that wasn't possible right now she settled with the gentle smile he offered her once he stood in front of her, his tall bulky figure towering over her.

"Tys, em ste os komai op yu don em au gon Polis."

"Mochof, Heda. Anya biyo yu gaf in ai op?"he said, getting straight to the point of his visit.

Lexa nodded and turned her attention back to Clarke, who was still stuck into a conversation with Niylah. "Wanheda will be joining us to Selin Village. I want you and your second to guard her with your life and take her away at the first sign of trouble." She ordered him.

"She is Wanheda?" he asked and Lexa nodded. "She looks…different then I had imagined."

Lexa raised her eyebrow at his words. "And how would you have imagined her, Tys?" she asked slightly amused.

"Less like you, Heda."

Surprise struck her, followed by confusion. "Explain yourself, Tys. We are nothing alike."

Tys folded his arms and locked his brown eyes on hers. "She stands tall and proud like you. Her conversation with Niylah clearly isn't a pleasant one for her yet she does not show her discomfort towards the trader girl. She hides behind a mask in an attempt to end her conversation on good terms and not hurt Niylah's feelings."

Annoyingly this only increased the feeling of jealousy in her stomach as she countered what Tys was telling her. "I do not hide behind a mask to avoid hurting people's feelings." She bit back.

Tys chuckled at this and Lexa could see he was amused by her annoyance. "No, but as Heda you mask your own feelings more often than not."

Her annoyance now got the best of her, something only Tys could manage. She pointed her index finger towards him in warning. "Tys…" she hissed at him.

The smirk on his face remained but respectfully he pushed his chin down to his chest. "Moba, Heda. It would be our honor to protect Wanheda. Gia will be thrilled, perhaps a bit too thrilled."

Lexa shrugged at this and nodded in agreement. "She will indeed."

"I will go and inform her, Heda. Leidon."

He meant to turn away but Lexa called out to him. "Tys…" he stopped and faced her again with questionable eyes. "Kensi, she-"

Tys smiled at her. "I was told, mochof."

Lexa nodded and watched him walk away, his long knee length coat moving back and forth with every strong and powerful stride he took. The brief look of relief visible on his face when Kensi's name was mentioned pleased her. It reminded her once more how happy she is to know that Tys had made it out of Polis, but more importantly out of Nia's grasp. Nia knew far too well what Tys meant to her and dreads to think what would have happened if she had captured him.

But she quickly pushed that thought aside and turned back around to see Clarke walking towards her. Lexa once again took a moment to admire how nice the Sky girl looked in the set of clothes Niylah had picked for her. Speaking of the trader girl, Clarke looked relieved to walk away from Niylah and Lexa frowned at this.

"Is everything okay, Clarke?" she asked the blonde.

"Yes I'm fine."

The little frown Lexa spotted between her blue eyes showed Clarke was not entirely truthful. Something had transpired between the two women which upset her. But Lexa felt this wasn't the time nor the place to discuss it with Clarke, and it was obvious that she didn't want to talk about it either so Lexa decided not to pursue it, only nodding in acknowledgement.

"You have your war paint on again, does that mean we are leaving soon?" Clarke asked her in an attempt to draw Lexa's thoughts further away from her worries.

"Yes, it will not be long before we are leaving." She said. "You should know Clarke, while you were taking your bath I sent riders to TonDC. My General in charge there is to go to Arkadia with a handful of warriors for a diplomatic visit. They will inform your people that you are with us and I will let them negotiate for supplies. Winter is nearing, your people need to be able to prepare for it and they will not be ready for it without our help."

Lexa saw Clarke's face at the mention of helping out her people. She probably hadn't expected Lexa to extend a helping hand to them. But with the mountain men gone there was no reason anymore for Lexa to uphold the deal she made with Emerson. The Alliance can stay intact and Lexa planned to use it to put their differences aside. Not just for Clarke but for her own people as well. A long fought enemy was dead, the last thing she wants is for the Sky people to replace them.

Still, that didn't mean it was going to be easy to maintain the alliance. Clarke now knows that the deal Lexa took at the expense of the Sky People was only made to look after her people. However, there were still many others who will be a lot more difficult to convince. Abby Griffin, the current Chancellor will prove to be the most difficult to convince. If Lexa's assumptions are correct, once the General informs Chancellor Griffin that Clarke is with Lexa alive and unharmed, she will demand proof.

It's a shame Clarke had decided to leave her people after the Mountain Men were killed. Had she stayed Clarke could have been their leader now and dealings with the Sky people would have been easier to maintain. And if not Clarke then perhaps Marcus Kane would have been a better option. To Lexa he seemed like a good man who was willing to make sacrifices. The older man had proved this when he was being held in Lexa's prison.

Not the other man, Jaha. Unlike Marcus Kane he was not willing to sacrifice himself or Kane. He was however, more than willing to kill Lexa which showed he was not an honorable man. Still, it was not something to worry about right now. Right now she owed Clarke an explanation. The blonde still was looking at her in confusion.

"The deal I made with the Mountain Men no longer stands Clarke. Your people were part of the eradication of the Mountain Men and I see no reason not to keep the Alliance alive. The only problem is if your people are just as willing as mine."

Clarke shrugged at that. "Probably not if it were up to my Mother. But Kane is reasonable and I think he and Bellamy can convince her."

"For your people's sake I hope so, otherwise they will be in trouble when winter arrives." Lexa once more tried to make her point.

"If they refuse to listen I will make them listen." Clarke said confidently but Lexa could see that going back to her people was still a painful subject for her.

"Let's hope it will not come to that Clarke, though it might help because my people see you as their leader, not your mo-"

"Heda."

Both women looked up and saw Anya approaching them. Lexa thought it was good to see Anya in her usual outfit again. The long black leather coat with the fur-lined hood and the black pair of pants, gloves and boots made Anya look complete again. She has had this armor for as long as Lexa can remember and the small presence of war paint around her eyes makes Lexa briefly think back of her younger days when she was still Anya's second.

"The army is ready, we depart on your command." She said, stepping next to Lexa and briefly glancing at Clarke before she averts her eyes back to her Commander.

"The horses?" Lexa asked her.

"Awaiting you at the front of the army, Heda." Anya answered.

"What of Wanheda's horse?"

"We decided to give her Zephyr."

Lexa raised her eyebrow at that but nodded in approval. "A perfect horse for Wanheda, you picked well, Anya."

Clarke frowned. "Why do I get the feeling the horse is a little bit too fitting for the title your people have given me?"

Lexa nodded at Anya, telling her to explain.

"Zephyr is a one of the fastest horses we have, but also very difficult to control. He is from the wild and not bred like most of our horses. He has allowed very few warriors to sit on his back."

Worry crept on Clarke's face. "And what makes you so sure he will allow me to sit on his back?"

Anya smirked and merged her eyes with Clarke's. "Because, Skaiprisa, he's impulsive and stubborn like you."

The Skaiprisa, as Anya described her, opened her mouth to protest and pointed an accusing finger at Anya. "I am not stubborn!" she stated and turned her gaze to Lexa as she said this. Lexa did her best to keep a stoic look on her face but it was obvious she was trying to hide a smirk of her own.

"You just trying to prove you are not stubborn says enough, Skaiprisa."

The smirk on Anya's face was gone now and she too held a stoic mask. Lexa knew better than anyone else that there was no arguing with Anya about this. And Lexa also knew that Clarke could definitely be a very stubborn woman. They had experienced this over last night's dinner after all. But Lexa knew just as well as Anya that Zephyr was the perfect choice of a horse for Clarke. She was absolutely certain that Zephyr would like her. As Lexa herself was one of the few people who have ridden on Zephyr's back she was certain that he would appreciate Clarke.

"Trust me Clarke, he will like you and you will like him. Come, I will take you to him." She said and headed towards her army.

They walked around the army and Clarke followed closely with Anya behind her. A quick glance over her shoulder towards Clarke showed Lexa that she still held annoyance on her face for being called stubborn but Lexa knew this would change as soon as she saw Zephyr.

And Lexa was right. Standing beside her own horse she turned to look at Clarke and saw the blonde staring at Zephyr in pure amazement.

"Oh my God." She exclaimed and took two more steps forward, suddenly no longer afraid of how Anya described the fully black colored horse's character. "He's beautiful." The worry however returned when she went to pet him but her hand paused in mid-air and Clarke turned her blue eyes to Lexa. "Is it…can I touch him?"

Lexa showed a really small smile and offered Clarke a nod. "You can Clarke, he will not harm you. If he didn't like you he would already have showed this."

With Lexa's reassurance Clarke closed the distance between her hand and Zephyr and gently moved her fingers through his manes. Zephyr immediately shook his head up and down as a sign of acceptance. It caused a smile to appear on Clarke's face that Lexa had never seen before. Lexa couldn't take her eyes off Clarke as she ran her hands over Zephyr's immaculate coat. The look of pure joy on Clarke's face was one of the most beautiful sights Lexa had ever seen.

The Commander had to do her best not to blush at the sight of it and it reminded Lexa of the power Clarke holds, a power Lexa cannot resist. While unable to deny herself this truth, she was glad at least that her well-practiced Commander mask hid it from the people around her.

At least she thought she managed to hide it, until she looked at Anya. And while Anya held the same emotionless features as Lexa, the Commander could clearly see in her brown eyes that she was reading Lexa with ease. Lexa sighed. She hated how Anya was always able to read her so perfectly. Though this made Anya the perfect mentor for Lexa in her early years, before she was called to lead her people.

Turning her attention back to Clarke she saw the Sky girl had decided to trust in Lexa's words and climbed onto Zephyr without any hesitation. Lexa offered a small smile towards Clarke, but quickly set her mind to the task ahead.

She had to be focused now. They begin their march towards Selin village and mistakes could not be afforded. The brunette turned her horse to face the hundreds of warriors in waiting and prepared to give them a speech to not only make them as focused as she but also to motivate them for the possible battle that awaits them.

"Kru kom Kongeda." She started, every single warrior of her army stood at attention, their gaze firmly locked on their Heda. "Azgeda gaf in flosh klin oso Kongeda. Deyon ste fosteim sintaim weron oso goch klin jomp op ai sonraun." She said, switching to Gonasleng.

"Today, we will march upon Selin Village and demand retribution for our brothers and sisters who have given their life to protect mine, to protect your Commander. And by the end of the day we will have Colioh bound to a tree and give him the only punishment he deserves; death…by a thousand cuts!"

At her last few words Lexa lifts her fist up in the air and every single warrior in the army mirrors her action and starts chanting her title. She allows it to happen for a few moments but eventually she raises her hand up in the air again to silence them. In a split second the chanting stopped and she was met with silence.

"With the death of Colioh we make our first step to restore the Coalition, to restore peace." She concluded and turned her horse around, moving the white stallion forward.

"Move out!" Anya spoke up this time as she faced the army. Her voice strong, powerful and full of authority. Once the army started moving she guided her horse to Lexa's side. The Commander briefly eyed her General before turning her head to the right noticing Clarke appearing from the corner of her eye.

Lexa couldn't help but feel proud. Not that long ago she had to make a decision which she thought would be the end of Clarke's life. But the Sky girl had not only survived, she had destroyed the people who had hunted Lexa and her people for generations. Never in her right mind would she have thought this moment to ever happen. But here she is at her side. Together with Clarke Lexa was going into war and even though she worries of what this might do to Clarke's soul she also couldn't help but feel proud to march into war with Clarke at her side.

* * *

"Wanheda!"

Clarke looked up at the sound of her title. It amazed her how quick she had gotten used to it. She craned her neck to the left and looked down at a young girl. She looked a few years younger than Clarke. Her hair a few shades darker than her own and the right side shaved away to show a green tribal tattoo that proved she is Trikru. The rest of her dark blonde locks cascaded over her shoulders and in between the locks Clarke spotted a few braids.

A sleeveless grey shirt showed off a second green tattoo that partially covered her right arm from her wrist to her shoulder. The artist in Clarke couldn't help but study it intently and soon came to see the design formed what Clarke believed to be a panther. Having seen so many grounders with very well designed tattoos gave her the desire to design one for herself one day.

Studying the girl further Clarke saw she wore form fitting dark blue pants held up with a copper belt. The belt held two knives and a set of gloves tucked behind it. Her brown combat boots left deep imprints on the ground below her with each powerful stride she took. Averting her eyes back to the girl's face Clarke spotted a rather wide and excited smile on it.

"Who is gracing me with her presence?" Clarke asked smiling, the tone in her voice implied a sense of humour.

"I am Gia." She said excited. "Heda has tasked me with your protection."

The first thing that came to Clarke's mind was to scowl at Lexa for thinking she needed protection. It made the smile on her face fade instantly. But she reminded herself in time that she promised not to go against Lexa's orders and with not much combat experience and no gun it couldn't hurt to have someone looking out for her. Should she need it, that is.

To make sure Gia didn't feel offended by Clarke's faltering smile she quickly recovered it though it was even smaller than the one she had before. The girl barely seemed to have noticed it through her excitement however.

"It will be my honor to do so, Wanheda." She said, holding on to her exciting tone.

"Thank you, Gia, I appreciate that."

Gia shook her head. "No, I am the one who should thank you, Wanheda."

"Why is that?" Clarke asked as one of her eyebrows slightly lifted.

"I was a prisoner at the mountain."

"Then you should thank the Commander, she is the one who made the deal to free you." Clarke said and noticed her tone was slightly bitter.

Once again though Gia didn't seem to notice this. "I have thanked the Commander, we all have. But it was you who made sure it will never happen again. You have honored us all, Wanheda, we are in your debt."

Clarke remembered Lexa explaining that some of her people would respect or honor her. Despite the warning it still felt strange and it made her feel a little bit uncomfortable. If she would be at Arkadia right now most people would probably hate her and her mother would most likely do her best to remind Clarke she is still only a child and not meant to carry all this weight on her shoulders.

Such a difference compared to the grounders who see her as the leader of the Sky People and now this girl has showed her more respect, honor and care than her own mother has showed her ever since they landed on earth. Realizing this actually hurt her and she turned her gaze away from Gia, lowering it to the muddy ground, watching how Zephyrs hoofs left imprints behind in it.

"Are you alright, Wanheda? Did I offend you?" Gia asked worried.

Clarke was given no chance to respond when a strong and stern male voice called out. "Gia!"

The smile that had lingered on Gia's face faded instantly and her shoulders slumped. Worry crept into her eyes as her head moved up to a large bulky man that walked a few meters ahead of them and peered over his shoulder with a disapproving gaze.

That one look he gave her made Gia understand she had overstepped whatever boundaries this man had set for her. Without giving Clarke another glance she hurried over to the man's side. He was barking a few strong lines in Trigedasleng at her but Clarke was too far away to actually hear what he said. Whatever it was it made her shake her head, straighten her shoulders and Clarke saw her looking at him with no emotion. Or at least she attempted to, she could spend some hours of practice with Lexa on that. The discussion ended with the man giving a playful but still rather harsh smack on the back of her head. It made Gia stumble forward a bit and then Clarke's view on the two was interrupted by movement from the corner of her eye.

"I see you've met Gia."

It was Lexa who had marched her horse next to Clarke.

"I have, she seems very excited though he didn't share that excitement with her." Clarke said, nodding over to the man who had reprimanded Gia.

Lexa slightly smirked at this. "That is Tys, she is his second. Tys is a seasoned warrior, he has served two Commanders before me and he is a very strict teacher. Gia is spirited and young. She often acts before she thinks. Tys is the perfect mentor for someone with her character. He will turn her into a fine warrior."

"And she's apparently good enough already in your mind to protect me." Clarke said but offered Lexa a nod to show she understood the reason Lexa had done this.

Lexa nodded back. "Tys will protect you too, Clarke. With what is coming I cannot protect you myself, I need to be focused on the task at hand." She said but still sounded a bit worried.

"Well I could tell you that I can look after myself but I won't, I understand Lexa don't worry." Clarke tried to reassure her.

"I know Clarke, but even after I train you to fight with a blade and defend yourself I will still have guards assigned to you, just as I almost always have guards assigned to me. Our titles make us targets Clarke and we can never be too careful."

Clarke smiled and once again nodded to show Lexa she understood. A short silence fell where Clarke's gaze returned to Gia and she saw the girl had recovered from the small reprimand she had received and now seemed to be into an intense conversation with Tys.

Clarke smiled at this and sighed as it reminded her of the time she had with her father. But she didn't want to drift away in these thoughts so she directed her eyes to Lexa's horse as a question came to mind.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked Lexa.

"You can." Lexa responds.

"I'm assuming your horse has a name too?"

Lexa turned to face Clarke and nodded. "You assume correct. Her name is Rasha."

"Rasha." Clarke said, testing the sound of the name as it rolled off her tongue. "I like it."

"She comes from a sacred line of horses. Most white horses are. Her name stands for her strength and beauty. When I was chosen as Commander I also had to choose a horse. There were seven to choose from but as soon as I laid my eyes on her my mind was made up."

Lexa didn't move her eyes away from Clarke as she spoke the words with double meaning. Clarke swallowed deeply noticing she couldn't keep her eyes away from Lexa either. She hid her disappointment well when the Commander realized they were staring and quickly turned away to recover into her Commander mask.

"Come Clarke, we will join Anya again at the head of the army. My scouts reported that Kensi and Indra are close by."

* * *

The sun was just passing over the horizon when they reached Kensi and Indra. The ten warriors they had brought with them were also present and Lexa immediately knew what the scouts had told her was true; their mission had been a success, all the Lake People scouts and patrols had been taken care of. With Kensi's knowledge there was no other possible outcome for this and despite her warning for Kensi earlier today Lexa already knew she wouldn't fail.

They stood near the edge of a hill that looked out over Selin Village. Lexa moved her horse towards the women. Her jaw set in a straight line and her shoulders straightened as they both slightly bowed to her.

"Heda, the Lake People scouts and patrols have been killed. They are unaware of our presence." Indra immediately reported.

Lexa looked down at the village. Just a few fires were burning and from where she could see there was minimal movement in the camp. They are indeed unaware of their presence. The front of the village was located in an open field. A wooden fence centred by a gate was the only way inside of the village from there. Lexa could just about make out two guards standing on each side of it. The gate itself was open and had Kensi and Indra not taken out the scouts and patrols the gates would be closed and their arrival would have been expected.

"You said there were two more ways to get in and out of the village?" Lexa asked Kensi.

Kensi nodded. "Sha, Heda. A side entrance to the west and a secret tunnel that only Colioh, his son and his personal guard know about. I know where it is, Timor and I can cover it. Should Colioh use it to escape he will only take two guards with him. We can easily take them out."

Lexa shook her head. "No, you will be the first to approach the village gates. They will think you have returned from Azgeda. Their confusion will be a long enough distraction for you to get close and take them out before they get suspicious. Does Timor know where the tunnel exit is?"

Kensi nodded. "He does."

"Then he will cover that exit together with Ryder." She said and as Kensi nodded Lexa turned her attention to Indra. "Indra, you will take fifty warriors with you to cover the western entrance. Infiltrate the village from there and make sure no one escapes."

"Sha Heda." Indra said and immediately directed her horse to the army to follow Lexa's orders.

"Go inform Timor and tell Wanheda I want to speak to her." She ordered Kensi and the dark haired woman bowed her head before she took off.

Lexa took a deep breath and turned her eyes back to the village. She looked to the west side it now. That part of the village was covered by trees and marshlands that eventually merged together with a river leading out of the village. The terrain was tricky but Lexa knew she could count on Indra to get the job done.

No matter how often Lexa had been in this position, she still doesn't enjoy it. Victory stands on the back of sacrifice. These words were spoken to Clarke by her not that long ago. Lexa is experienced enough to know these words to be very true but she longs for the day where sacrifice is no longer needed and her people can live without worry and war. Honestly though, Lexa doubts if that would ever be possible but she would do anything in her power to try, no matter the sacrifice she would have to make to achieve it.

"You wanted to see me?"

Clarke's voice beckoned her back into reality and she nodded at the blonde.

"Yes. We will march upon the village on my command. Kensi will ride slightly ahead of us to give us the element of surprise. You will remain at my side until we have taken control of the village. They need to see Wanheda at my side it will strike fear into the villagers and Kensi's presence will cause confusion."

Clarke nodded in response, proving she understood Lexa's order. At Clarke's nod Lexa turned her horse and guided it back to the army, Clarke following her closely. Indra had taken the fifty warriors to the west side of the village and the last of them were just about move out of sight. Glancing to her left she also saw Ryder and Timor in the distance making their way to the hidden tunnel in case Colioh would want to use it to escape.

"Our revenge is set in motion." She spoke up to her warriors. "We make our move on Selin Village now. As soon as we are inside the village you will kill anyone who resists and you will round the villagers to the town square. Search every house and every corner of the village until you have found Colioh and bring him before me."

She searched for the warrior who had Fio bound and gagged on his horse and locked her eyes on him. "Bring Fio to the town square as well, I have special plans for him." She said with a snarl and couldn't help but feel content when she saw fear creeping into Fio's eyes.

Lexa turned her horse and motioned it forward while she raised her fist into the air. "Gon Kongeda!"She yelled and with Kensi, Anya and Clarke getting into their assigned positions they made their way down the hill towards the village.

* * *

Lexa watched as Kensi moved her horse ahead of the army. Once the guards noticed the commotion coming at them she increased the speed of her horse to make sure they wouldn't sound an alarm. One of the guards stepped forward, hand moving to the hilt of the sword at his side and Kensi took this as her moment to speak up.

"Chill yu daun, en's ai, Kensi!" she said to him.

"Kensi, chit ste disha? Hakom yu don gu lid gonakru kom yu?"the guard demanded to know and now the other guard stepped at his side.

"Az kwin sen op em jomp op TonDC." She replied and slowed her horse.

It was clear her words weren't really convincing him. But he was confused and that was all Kensi needed. Lexa was a few meters behind and could clearly see the guards showed hesitation. Now within striking distance Kensi showed the complete opposite. Her hands slipped to her sides and revealed throwing knifes as she lifted them in the air. Her speed and accuracy were perfect. The two guards, still struck by surprise could only widen their eyes before the blades reached their intended targets. The guard who spoke up ended up with a knife in his right eye, the other guard found a knife slicing through his neck, the blade of the knife hitting his carotid artery.

While their bodies slumped to the ground Kensi looked at her Commander, silently asking for permission to continue forward. Lexa nodded in approval and watched Kensi turn her horse back to the gate and advanced forwards. Anya was right behind the dark haired woman now and advanced towards the town square before speaking up in the same strong and demanding tone she had done earlier today.

"Kru kom Selin stegeda. Kom op spek yo daun gon yo Heda o osir step au! "

While making her way to the town square she was immediately met with fear, confusion and panic from the people of the village. Lexa however completely ignored it and motioned her horse at Kensi's side. With her mask not showing any cracks she watched how Clarke moved Zephyr at her side. The blonde looked slightly taken aback but she wasn't certain if it was because of the complete panic and fear the villagers showed or if it was because of how little it affected Lexa.

Either way Lexa gave it no further thought and watched how Anya ordered a group of warriors to block the gates and prevent anyone from leaving while other warriors attacked the village guards who refused to accept the demands Anya had made earlier. Some more warriors started skimming through the village, entering every building they could find and forcefully hauling out its inhabitants who refused to listen or were too afraid to do so on their own accord.

From the other side of the village she could hear Indra's voice issuing the same orders Anya had. It didn't take long before the remaining village guards realized resistance was futile and they started surrendering. Rather surprisingly most of the villagers cooperated and made their way to the town square under the guidance of Lexa's warriors. Lexa's attention suddenly went to a cry of pain coming from a house the opposite side of where she stood. A warrior came stumbling out of the house with a knife in his shoulder and knee.

"Anya!" Lexa ordered her General and without hesitation Anya entered the building. She heard someone yelling and screaming before Anya came back out with her hands wrapped around the shirt of a boy who looked to be around the age of fourteen. His nose bloodied and a bruise forming just below his left eye. Anya had not gone easy on him, nor should she have.

However, Lexa was glad she'd sent Anya in there. The boy might be beaten but she had judged the situation perfectly and knew not to kill the boy but to bring him before Lexa instead, despite Lexa's orders to kill anyone who resists. Anya still looked at Lexa to see if she agreed or if she had to kill the boy after all but all they had to do was look at each other and her former mentor knew exactly what to do.

The boy was forcefully pushed through the crowd of people before Anya released him but gave him a warning first. "Try anything like that again and you are dead boy." She warned him and nodded at one of the warriors to keep a close eye on him.

Glancing to her left Lexa risked a peek at Clarke. The Sky girl seemed to be a bit overwhelmed with what was happening. Lexa could see Clarke was struggling to fight off the pity she held for the boy. She wasn't surprised by any of this. Clarke might have been present at two battles so far since she was on earth. The battles at the dropship and the mountain were completely different situations, but Clarke was handling it far better the Lexa imagined.

Lexa averted her attention from the blonde as she noticed Indra and about a dozen warriors guiding more villagers to the square. Guiding her horse towards the General she went to get a report from the battle hardened woman.

"Indra?" she asked.

"Heda, these are all the villagers present at this side. Kensi is back there looking for Colioh, we have not found him so far."

Lexa nodded. "His son?" she asked and in response and noticed Indra directing her head towards a young man walking amongst the villagers.

She studied him. His hand rubbing the short brown hairs on his head. The expression on his face was calm which made him look the complete opposite of his father. Colioh is a large and very muscular man with little patience. His son however was rather thin, he held no muscle at all and he looked to be a lot shorter than his father from what she remembered last seeing the man.

Lexa decided not to approach him yet and headed back to the square. Her eyes once again fell on Clarke. She looked a lot calmer now and the emotions she visibly had been struggling with earlier were now gone. She was curiously inspecting the villagers at the moment. Their faces studied by the intrigued blue eyes of Clarke. Just as Lexa had ordered Gia and Tys were a few steps away from her, ready to step in and take her to safety if needed.

Once more looking away from Clarke she averted her gaze to the warrior holding Fio still tightly on his horse and with a nod of her head the warrior tossed Fio off it. In a matter of seconds that same warrior had forced Fio on to his knees and removed his gag but not without punching and kicking him a few times making sure to warn him that if he tried anything he would suffer for it.

Not much later all the villagers had been gathered and it was just Colioh that was missing. Kensi was still searching for him and Lexa gave her a bit more time before she decided to force his whereabouts out of his son. There was no doubt the young man was aware of his presence. While dismounting Rasha Lexa studied the villagers to see if they showed any sign of were talking amongst each other. Some seemed scared, others looked a bit agitated or angry but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Lexa had the situation under control with the warriors guarding both exits of the village as well as the tunnel. All the remaining warriors were scattered across the village or had formed a wall around the villagers to keep them in line in case they decided to retaliate.

"Heda!" Kensi's voice sounded from behind the villagers. "Still no sign of Colioh but I did make another interesting discovery."

As Kensi wormed herself through the villagers they started mumbling and became a bit restless. Lexa could hear some of them call her a traitor but neither Lexa nor Kensi paid any attention to it and the voices seemed to die down quickly again. Kensi finally emerged from the crowd and Lexa noticed she had been dragging someone with her. It was a woman and she seemed to be in bad shape. The woman could barely stand on her feet and stumbled with every step she was forced to take as Kensi dragged her along with no regard for her well-being.

She collapsed to her knees in front of Lexa and it was then that she realized who this was. Her brunette hair was all tangled and covered in dried blood. Her bloodied grey pants were ripped to pieces and the black top she had on was in a similar state. Bruises and cuts were all over her body and the ones on her face made her almost unrecognizable. But not to Lexa, Lexa knew exactly who this woman is, as did Kensi.

"I found her in the prison cells. Last time I was in the village she was not here yet. They must have captured her shortly after I left, Heda." Kensi explained.

Lexa just kept her eyes on the woman and she looked back at Lexa even though one eye was completely swollen. Despite all the torture she had to have endured she looked calm and tried to straighten her shoulders as much as she could to show she was not afraid of Lexa.

"Echo kom Azgeda." The words had barely left her mouth before Anya came storming in and Lexa knew what she was going to do and didn't stop her.

Without any hesitation Anya balled her fist and punched the Azgeda warrior in her already battered face. Her fist collided painfully with Echo's jaw and her head snapped back. Anya struck again this time lifting her knee as it slammed into Echo's nose. Blood instantly sprayed from her nose but Echo held her own and did not cry out.

When Lexa saw Anya was about to hit her again she decided to stop it. "Em plenti!"

Disappointed by Lexa's order Anya balled both her fists in frustration but kept her arms at her side. Echo's breathing was heavy. She coughed every now and then but maintained her calm posture for as long as she could not even letting Anya intimidate her as she gave her a smirk before looking back at Lexa.

"Why do the allies of Azgeda have their best assassin prisoner?" Lexa asked but already knew Echo wasn't going to answer that.

And she was correct. Echo remained silent and kept her eyes locked on Lexa's. The Commander shrugged. "I guess we will be having this conversation when we are back at TonDC, or rather you and Anya will." She said, in a threatening tone.

Echo scoffed. "Colioh already tried to get me to talk and he failed."

Lexa wasn't impressed by her words at all and just smirked. "I don't think you understand the situation you are in right now, Echo. From how I see it your queen has probably given up on you for some reason, otherwise you wouldn't be a prisoner here. Whatever it is you did or didn't do, you angered your queen and the Lake people received the task of getting you to talk and execute you. Which is probably, despite your injuries, the most merciful way for you to die. I am fairly sure the punishment you would have received from your own people would be a lot more lasting and a lot more painful. But I am telling you something you are more than aware of yourself. So let me tell you what your chances will be with me."

Lexa slowly started pacing around Echo in a circle as she spoke up again. "I will continue what Colioh started and try to get you to talk before I grant you a merciful death or you can refuse to talk to me and I will have a warrior bring you to Polis and let Nia worry about what to do with you."

The confidence in Echo's face was gone in the blink of an eye. Echo swallowed deeply and she definitely looked scared now. Lexa heard Anya shrugging at the sudden change of confidence on Echo's beaten face and it was obvious she was more than satisfied with the outcome.

"Think about it and we will discuss it further when we are back at TonDC." Lexa said and then took a few steps away from Echo.

Anya immediately ordered two warriors to drag her away from the square while Lexa turned to Kensi. "Ryder and Timor didn't run into Colioh at the tunnel?" she asked and Kensi only shook her head in response. "Very well, then we turn our attention to the villagers. The village is sealed he could not have gotten out, someone will know where he is and that someone is most likely his son."

Kensi didn't waste a second and immediately walked into the crowd to where Colioh's son was. The boy didn't resist when Kensi grabbed him by the bicep and dragged him with her through the crowd. That's when Lexa caught movement close by and saw the teenage boy from earlier step closer to Kensi. Lexa spotted a knife in his hand and without hesitation she sped towards the boy who now had his back aimed at Lexa and was solely focused on Kensi.

"Natrona!" he yelled at Kensi and was ready to strike her down.

The boy however had been too obvious in his movements and Kensi had already seen the attack coming. But it was Lexa who grabbed his wrist, her fingers digging down painfully as his bones were grinded together until the unmistakable sound of bones breaking could be heard. The boys' screams echoed through the village while his blade clattered off the cobblestones of the square. Lexa was already starting to regret her earlier decision to not kill the boy.

Just as Kensi did with Colioh's son she dragged the boy with her and tossed him forward, his hands and knees scraping the cobblestones as he tried to catch his fall. The instinct reaction caused the boy to cry out in pain as his broken wrist caught part of the fall. Lexa didn't feel any remorse for him at this point. One hand wrapped around his shirt to haul him to his feet while the other was pressing down firmly on his windpipe but making sure to just put enough pressure on it to not choke him.

Anger was slowly seeping into her veins now. She'd had about enough of the boy's disobedience and the more than obvious lacking will of Colioh's son to tell her where his father is hiding. It was time to make a lasting impression on these people and unfortunately for the boy currently in her grip he was going to be the center of it all. The bravery he had shown earlier completely faded and he couldn't look more scared then he did right now.

"Moba, Heda! Beja nou fragon ai."

"You call Kensi a traitor?" Lexa started, completely ignoring his pleas. "But is it not Colioh who is the traitor here? Is it not Colioh who has sided with the Ice Nation and divided the coalition to start a war? His actions alone have caused me to be here today and take revenge for his failed attempt on my life! "

Lexa looked into the eyes of the boy and saw them watering before tears started floating from them. The weakness this boy showed disgusted her, it was obvious no one had been teaching him the meaning of discipline. Shaking her head she released her hold over him and he painfully landed on his back but remained where he was, completely frozen in fear.

It was the villagers now who were at the receiving end of her anger as she faced them one by one while she continued her speech. "Would you rather protect a man who has chosen war over the peace I have given you when you joined the coalition? Have the trade routes and resources granted to you not been good enough? Would you rather die of starvation and illness by choosing Nia over me?"

Lexa was seething right now. Despite her indirect threats the villagers remained silent and it was starting to look like she was forced to make yet another sacrifice to get these people to talk. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she let some more time pass by in the hopes someone would speak up. But as she was met with nothing but silence her eyes opened and they landed on the boy who had begged her for his life mere moments ago. Lexa swallowed deeply and readied herself for yet another dark chapter in her life as her hand reached for her knife and pulled it from her belt.

With slow steps she advanced towards the boy who started to realize what was about to take place. He tried to scramble to his feet but Anya quickly acted and grabbed him by his arms to hold him in place. Suddenly her thoughts turned to Clarke. She dared not look the girl into her eyes because this was the moment Lexa had dreaded would happen. This was a side of Lexa she did not wish for Clarke to ever see of her and she cursed at herself for lbeing convinced by the Sky girl to bring her here. She should have just locked her up until all of this was over. It should have been a simple choice. Clarke being angry at her was something she would much rather live with than knowing Clarke watched her murder a young boy in the act of vengeance.

But it was too late for that now. Clarke is here and will have to witness Lexa end the life of a young teenage boy to try and get these people to tell her where Colioh is. Lexa just hoped that she stuck to her promise and did not interfere with the difficult decision Lexa had made. But just as she came within striking distance a voice yelled out.

"Hod op!"

Lexa did not have to turn around to know who it belonged to and a wave of relief ripped through her stomach but her face remained stoic to not show how relieved she was that Colioh's son finally spoke. The desperate struggles of the boy in Anya's grip ceased immediately and he looked just as relieved as Lexa felt. His fate might still be sealed though as it all depended on what Colioh's son was about to tell her.

"Speak, Colin." She said and turned towards the young man.

"He…he might be my father but I will not let our people die to save him. He is…" Colin swallowed deeply at the realization his father's fate is sealed as soon as he speaks out the words. "He is in the tavern. Under the table at the far left is a hidden compartment, he is hiding there hoping you will give up on your search for him and take me instead."

Indra and Anya immediately headed for the tavern but Lexa's attention suddenly went to Clarke who surprisingly showed up at her side. Her jaw was set in a thin line as her blue eyes showed a hint of annoyance and disbelief.

"You would protect the man who would save his own ass over that of his son?" Clarke asked and the tone in her voice was bitter with a hint of anger and at this moment Lexa decided that the surprise she felt when Clarke spoke up was a pleasant one.

Colin looked at Clarke in shock and fear. "You…you are Wanheda?" he asked her but the tone of his voice proved that he actually already knew this and was just looking for confirmation.

"I am, yes. And right now Wanheda would want to know why you almost let a child die for a father who deems himself more important than his people, more important than his son." She hissed at him. "What kind of leader hides like a coward and let's his people take the fall for him?"

Colin's lips started trembling as he lowered his head in defeat. "I-he.." he said and swallowed deeply to fight tears that threatened to escape his eyes. "He wasn't always like this. He was a good father once, until the Ice Queen poisoned his soul with lies and false promises. Her manipulations are what made him the man he is now. Some part of me still clings to the good man he once was. I apologize Wanheda, I should not have let it come this far."

Clarke scuffed at his words. "What's the point of apologizing now? Your people have been forcefully horded together in the middle of the night. They are scared, I can see their eyes full of doubt and all of this could have been avoided. As his son you should have acted."

To say Lexa was proud was an understatement. She had to do her best to hide what exactly she was feeling for Clarke right now. Lexa had been worried the events here would surface the still open wounds in Clarke's soul but instead Clarke had closed these wounds for now and took on the role of Wanheda on a way Lexa could never have imagined. However, her task was complete for now and it was time for Lexa to take over from Wanheda.

"Wanheda speaks true, Colin. Because you never acted upon the change in your father's behaviour you will pay for his crimes if Indra and Anya return empty handed." She snarled at him.

Colin was visibly shocked by this and swallowed deeply as horror crept onto his face. The young man was more than aware of Trikru tradition and Lexa could see his lips tremble at the realization of what fate awaits him should his father not be found.

But it seems luck was on his side when Anya and Indra appeared from the crowd and were dragging Colioh with them. He was struggling greatly, thrashing his legs as hard as he could to cause Anya and Indra to lose their grip, but his efforts were futile in their vice like grips. Lexa turned to them and pointed at a tree at the back of the square.

"Tie him up." She immediately commanded her two Generals and they happily complied.

Colioh stopped his struggles when he was dragged past his son and Lexa. Anger and disappointment moved up in his eyes. Looking at Colin herself, Lexa saw he refused to let his father intimidate him. His shoulders straightened as he looked back at his father with a calm and confident look on his face. Their eyes remained locked when Anya and Indra took off Colioh's coat, shirt and boots leaving him with only his pants before he was tied to the tree with his hands above his head.

For a man who knew his fate was set and his life was going to end in the most painful fashion he didn't show any fear or worry. His face held the anger he had shown before to his son only this time it was combined with disgust and hatred. Lexa didn't have to guess at who it was aimed and knew he was looking at Kensi. The young woman appeared at Lexa's side and only offered him a taunting smile. The former spy was clearly unimpressed by his attempts to intimidate her which didn't surprise Lexa in the slightest.

"Natrona." Colioh yelled at her and spat out a glob of saliva on the ground at her feet.

Kensi looked at Lexa to look for approval to speak up. Lexa gave her approval with a slight nod.

"It is not me who is the traitor here. I have always served Heda and I will keep doing so until my dying breath." Lexa heard her say and couldn't help but think this message was also meant for her to prove her loyalty once more. "I've had to watch here, every day over the last four summers how you took advantage of your people. These are good people and they deserve better. They deserve the love and care that Heda can give them but instead you spoke ill of her to your people. And now you forced her to round them up like a herd of scared sheep. I will do whatever it takes to make the people who I have grown to love and care for as much as my own family see that Heda is what they need to get back their strength and prosperity."

"Hah, that's never going to happen!" he yelled and turned his gaze to the villagers. "Follow her and the Ice Queen will strike you all down you hear me! You will all d-"

Before he could finish his intimidating speech Indra's fist collided with is jaw. His head snapped to the side as blood spew from his mouth. A grunt of pain escaped his lips but he recovered quickly and started chuckling as he stretched his jaw back and forth to try and ease the pain.

"There was a time where you hit a lot harder, Indra, you're getting weak."

Indra knew better then to let him intimidate her and just scowled at him. "Don't worry, I am just keeping you alive and awake enough to make sure you will feel the justice that will be handed out to you soon." She stated and for the first time he fell silent. He had tried to intimidate and provoke his own son, Kensi, the villagers and Indra and all attempts had failed. It was dawning in on him that all his attempts were fruitless and it was better to save his energy for what was coming for him.

But it was not time for that. Not yet. First there was another matter to attend to. Lexa turned her attention to Fio and walked over to him. She started addressing the villagers once she stood behind him with her hands behind her back.

"People of Selin village. The fate of your leader has been set. He will be given the punishment of a thousand cuts for the crimes not only done to me but also to you. Together with this man, one of my own, he had plotted my demise and failed. As a show of good faith I will let you decide what I should do with this man. Tell me what to do with him and I will grant you your wish."

The villagers were hesitant at first. Only soft whispers amongst themselves sounded. Some translating for others who do not speak Gonasleng but they were not sure how to act on Lexa's offer. But soon the whispers turned into slightly louder mumbling. Lexa could make out what some people were saying. Some said they didn't care and just wanted this to be over. Some said he deserved the same fate as Colioh and other's said to give him a quick death. Not a single villager seemed to be against a punishment for Fio and this told Lexa she was slowly getting them on her side.

However, one villager suddenly spoke up and pulled her out of her thoughts. "It should be Aden who decides." A man somewhere at the back said.

Lexa had trouble locating his exact location. "Please, step forward sir." She said kindly.

The man didn't seem to be bothered by Lexa's request and soon an elderly man with a fully wrinkled face and snow white half long hair emerged in front of her and the villagers fell silent. "Explain yourself." She said as soon as their eyes met.

The man nodded at Lexa and did as was requested of him. "Aden suffered the most under Colioh's rule. His parents were executed six summers ago when they were caught trying to defect to you, Heda. Fio was the one who discovered his parents' plan to defect and informed Colioh."

Suddenly Lexa regretted she hadn't beaten up Fio even more than she already had done so. She nodded at the old man and put her angry feelings aside when she realized she had a pretty good idea who this boy could be and turned to the boy whose wrist she had broken earlier. The boy had relaxed a little bit over the events that had transpired the last few moments. His good hand cradled the broken wrist and his eyes were red from crying. With Lexa turning her attention to him she saw his body tense again.

"I take it you're Aden?" she asked the boy.

His lips trembled for a few moments before replied. "Y-yes Heda." He said softly.

"Don't worry Aden, I am a woman of my word. You are free to decide his fate and I will grant it."

Aden's gaze switched between Lexa and Fio as he considered his options for a moment before his head lowered and his eyes closed. Lexa saw them water and when his eyes opened again tears fell down his cheeks. The boy wiped them away with his good hand before his blue eyes merged with Lexa's green eyes.

"Every breath he takes is an insult to my parents. Please Heda I wish for you to end his life as quickly as possible." He said confident.

Lexa bowed her head to the boy and granted his wish. Her hand reached for her dagger. She looked down at Fio who held a stoic face, knowing his death had been guaranteed days ago and looked more than content knowing that he didn't have to suffer the same as Colioh. It wasn't what Lexa would have done but this was Aden's wish she will grant it. So without any hesitation Lexa placed her arm across his chest and slashed the dagger across his throat. Blood poured from the wound covering his body and the ground beneath him. He began to choke on the blood filling his throat, sharp coughs splattered blood on Lexa. She did not flinch, she watched the life leave his body. A few short breaths later he was dead, Lexa removed her arm from his chest and watched his lifeless husk slump forward. His death was quick indeed but at least Lexa to comfort in the fact that in that short time he suffered greatly.

The village remained silent, everyone seemed to be content with the judgement Fio received. Lexa turned her attention to Clarke, their eyes met as she put the knife back in its scabbard at her hips and Wanheda offered her a brief nod in acknowledgement, showing Lexa she wasn't put off by what she had just witnessed. Lexa returned the same gesture as she stepped away from Fio's dead body to walk back to the old man as she addressed him.

"What's your name?" she asked.

The man bowed to her. "My name is Thoni, Heda." He answered politely.

"Thoni, do you often speak for your people?" she asked him.

A gentle smile was forming on his face. "They have often asked for my guidance, yes. I am by far the oldest person in the village. Colioh has never really been one to listen to his people which often made them come to me."

Lexa already thought his story would be something like that. The way he held himself and how the people allowed him to talk showed he earned their respect and vice versa. This man must be at least eighty years old. It's rare for people to live this long and these people are blessed to have a man like this amongst them. It warmed her heart to know that in the dark times these people endured there was at least someone who they could talk to.

"Very well, Thoni, then let me also be the one to ask for your guidance." She said, nodding towards Colioh. "Many of my warriors are keen to administer the punishment he deserves for his attempt on my life. But I believe your people also earn this right. What do you think about this, do some of your people want to participate in Colioh's punishment?"

Thoni immediately nodded. "I believe there will be some volunteers for this, Heda. They might be reluctant at first though, just as they were when you ordered us to tell you where Colioh was hiding. I would like to make it clear to you that it was not only for not knowing where he was that we remained silent, but Colioh was adept in skills of manipulation and the people were just afraid to speak up. If you will allow me to address them I am certain they will be honored in being part of Colioh's punishment."

Lexa nodded at him and immediately Thoni addressed his people in Trigedasleng. Lexa listens to how he explains to them that it is time to put the painful past behind them and if anyone feels up to it that their Commander allows for them to participate in Colioh's punishment. What followed surprised Lexa. A lot of villagers spoke up and seemed more then eager to let Colioh pay for his crimes. What was most surprising about this was when she noticed a presence behind her and turned around.

Colin stood behind her. His back straightened and his chin held high as he emitted confidence and took the responsibility to side with the villagers. It must not be easy for him to do this but Lexa could tell what he was thinking. He felt responsible for what happened. He should have acted but never did so and now he felt obligated to be part of his father's suffering before his death.

The look she shared with him was one of acknowledgement and approval before she turned back to Thoni. "Colin will go first, the rest of your people can fall in line behind him." She said and then turned back to Colioh.

"Of course." He said.

Thoni told the villagers what Lexa had instructed and Lexa couldn't help but be impressed by the amount of people who stepped forward. Men, women and some children even stepped forward. Lexa positioned herself to Colioh's left before speaking up and looking at Clarke.

"Wanheda, will you witness this moment at my side?" she asked Clarke.

Clarke nodded. "It would be my honor, Heda." She said and stepped next to Lexa.

Kensi, Indra and Anya took position behind the two women before Lexa spoke up again.

"Colioh of the Lake people, of Selin village. For your crimes against me, the coalition and your own people you will be punished by means of a thousand cuts or until your pathetic soul leaves your body." She said and when the older man remained silent and held a stoic look on his face Lexa turned to Colin. "Whenever you are ready, Colin."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Baman en Givnes – Revenge and Sacrifice
> 
> Tys, em ste os komai op yu don em au gon Polis - Tys,It is good to see you made it out of polis
> 
> Mochof, Heda. Anya biyo yu gaf in ai op - Thank you, Commander. Anya said you wanted to see me
> 
> Moba - sorry
> 
> Leidon - Goodbye
> 
> "Kru kom Kongeda. - People of the Coalition
> 
> Azgeda gaf in flosh klin oso Kongeda. Deyon ste fosteim sintaim weron oso goch klin jomp op ai sonraun. - Azgeda wants to destroy our Coalition. Today is the first day where we will avenge the attack on my life
> 
> Gon Kongeda - For the Coalition
> 
> Chill yu daun, en's ai, Kensi - Stand down, it's me, Kensi
> 
> Kensi, chit ste disha? Hakom yu don gu lid gonakru kom yu - Kensi what is this? why have you brought an army with you
> 
> Az kwin sen op em jomp op TonDC - The Ice queen has sent them to attack TonDC
> 
> Kru kom Selin stegeda. Kom op spek yo daun gon yo Heda o osir step au - People of Selin Village. Come out and bow to your Commander or we will make you
> 
> Moba, Heda! Beja nou fragon ai - I'm sorry Heda! Please don't kill me
> 
> Hod op - Wait
> 
>  
> 
> Name explanations:
> 
> Tys chosen from Tysons corner located in Washington DC.
> 
> Gia chose from Georgia
> 
> Zephyr located in North Carolina but also from Zephyrus Greek god of the west wind.
> 
> Rasha a name I thought of myself (as Lexa explained it stands for strength and beauty)
> 
> Thoni chosen from Worthinton located in Colorado.
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading! This story will be going on for quite some time and I'm sure I will need to come up with some more names eventually. So if you have any feedback or suggestions feel free to share them with me and I will be sure to use them in future chapters. :)


	4. Medo en Keryon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again everyone for your kudos, bookmarks and comments. I really appreciate it. Chapter 4 will be less bloody and violent and will hold some more Clexa moments. But it starts with a sidestep I mentioned, enjoy!

**Chapter 4 – Medo en Keryon**

The mornings were getting colder. She could see her breath with every exhale in the frosty air. They were calm breaths, Raven was enjoying the morning air and the beautiful view of the sun rising in the clear blue sky. A gentle breeze blew through the tall trees surrounding Arkadia, giving off the most subtle rustling sound. Things were quiet at Arkadia at this hour, they always were. Only the guards were awake and just a handful of people who seem to be early risers. Raven herself has always been a morning person. But the reason she's awake this time has a lot more to do with the pain in her leg.

She wished she could sleep in for a change, to not have the pain torment her and significantly decrease the amount of sleep she is getting each night. The young woman had stopped looking in the mirror a long time ago, more than aware of the bags under her eyes that no doubt made her look like a walking corpse.

She kindly smiled as one of the guards walked past her and nodded at her. The last few days it had become kind of a ritual between the two. She would sit in her usual spot, he would walk by and greet her. His name was Peter, she learned. He used to be civilian until the Ark crashed on earth and his wife died. Being a guard had given him a new purpose in his life and Raven was glad he had moved on, as Raven had done after Finn's death. Though it wasn't easy and she held a grudge against Clarke for a while. But after the day that Gustus tried to frame her, and paid with his life for it, she forgave Clarke. Raven knew now that giving her the blade to kill the Commander was never going to happen. If Clarke had done it, it never would have saved Finn. The moment she would have made a move, Lexa's men would be all over her and not only Finn would have been tied to that tree but Clarke too.

Finn would have been tortured and all Clarke could do about it was make sure he would die a quick death. Something, considering his crimes, he might not even have deserved.

"Raven." A gentle and caring voice lassoed her away from her train of thoughts.

She didn't have to look up to know who went to sit down next to her. "Good morning, Abby."

The two women briefly shared a smile before Raven looked back at the sunrise. She didn't only know it was Abby who went to sit down next to her, she also knew exactly why the older woman was here.

"I miss her…"

Or so she thought. "What?" Raven said confused and had already bolstered her shoulders for the expected speech about how she should come by med bay to help ease the pain in her leg.

"Clarke..." Abby explained and smirked. "You thought I was about to give you another speech, didn't you?"

Raven chuckled. "Hell yeah doc, I kinda did." She said smiling but then the smile slowly faded. "She will be fine, you should stop worrying about her. It was her shit decision to leave us."

The coarse remark towards her daughter hurt her, Raven saw the pain in the doctor's eyes. "Raven…" Abby said with a warning tone in her voice.

"I'm sorry doc, but it is. I get it though. What she did must be one hell of a nightmare to carry around. But she has us, she could have just talked to us you know."

Abby nodded in agreement. "I know Raven, but you haven't been a mother yet." The doctor said to try and make her point.

It made Raven chuckle and smile at Abby. "Thank God I'm not. Besides, think of all the horror if there would be miniature versions of me walking around here." She joked.

The two women laughed together and when the laughter died down a short silence fell before Raven spoke up again. "Tell ya what doc. If by some miracle Clarke shows up here realizing running away was about the shittiest thing she could have done I'll be the bad guy and you can just be all motherly and hug her and tell her how much you missed her, okay?"

"Deal." Abby said smiling.

Another moment of silence followed. But when a cold breeze sent shivers down Raven's body she continued their conversation.

"You know Doc, I don't know if you've noticed. But it's getting colder." She stated.

Abby nodded. "I have and it worries me. Our food supply is dwindling, hunting parties are returning with less food every day and on top of that we need supplies to make sure no one will freeze to death."

"We need help." Raven said, barely believing herself that she did.

The engineer wasn't surprised when Abby immediately shook her head. "No. I know what you are about to say but no."

"Abby…" Raven started but Abby stopped her.

"The Commander betrayed us, Raven. And because of that my daughter is out there in the wilderness if she even is alive at all."

"So your personal grudge is going to make your people freeze to death?" Raven bit back.

Abby's jaw slammed shut realizing that the young woman next to her was right. She seemed to think something over before speaking up again.

"It's not personal and don't tell me you don't agree with me." She said.

Raven folded her arms in front of her chest. "Hell yeah I am pissed at the Commander. She left us to die. But I mean, what choice do we have. The Commander clearly doesn't want any trouble with us anymore or she wouldn't have warned us about this war currently going on with them and the Ice Nation. And besides, whatever deal she made with the Mountain Men, it doesn't matter anymore because Clarke killed them all."

Raven saw Abby tense up at the mention of what Clarke had done. She couldn't blame her for reacting that way but it was the brutal reality they were living in right now. Maybe Raven had accepted this a whole lot more already than Abby had.

"Look just…I don't like this either but I also don't see any other way to do this. They know their stuff here on earth, we don't. But maybe you should just discuss this with the council, I'm not really made for this shit Abby. But all I'm saying is we should just look past our grudges and look after our people."

Raven could see Abby letting out a breath she was probably unaware she was holding back. She looked content suddenly and pulled herself up to her feet. She outstretched her hand towards Raven and smiled.

"You are probably right, Raven. Let's just have breakfast okay? And I will discuss this in our usual council meeting in two days."

Raven took her hand and struggled back on her feet. "Yes! I'm starving."

* * *

Death by a thousand cuts. Colioh didn't even come close to a thousand; or even a hundred. Clarke could keep counting down and honestly she hadn't kept count. But after the villagers had taken their turn there might have been only about a dozen of Lexa's warriors before Lexa herself dealt the final blow. Though Clarke was fairly sure Colioh was already half dead before her sword went through his heart.

The entire scene had been brutal, even more so than she had seen done to Gustus. Some of the Trikru people held back due to the respect they had for Gustus. For the former leader of the Lake People it was completely different. No one showed mercy. People would either find the more sensitive parts of the human body or some would just cut through an eye, ear or a finger. It looked disgusting and Clarke wasn't sure how she managed to not run away and find the nearest bucket to throw up in.

Then again maybe she did know why. Things like this didn't bother her anymore and frankly she had experienced worse. She had seen bodies with their limbs blown off. She had smelled the scent of burned flesh and she had seen the corpses of men, women and children scorched from radiation exposure. Today's sight of Colioh being tortured and the screams that came with it was nothing and it worried her. What was she becoming? Was she really the Commander of Death now? Was this really the life that awaits her?

Clarke was really close to panicking right now. Not because she was horrified of what happened to Colioh and definitely not with how ruthless Lexa had been today, not even when she was about to kill that boy. It hurt Clarke to see it and allow it but it hurt her even more to know that Lexa never wanted to do it but the turn of events forced her into it as Commander. No the panic was for the realisation of the changes she was going through. Clarke felt like she was becoming a monster. Maybe she already was one? Why had she been so stupid to talk Lexa into taking her with her. Clarke should have just taken her offer to go to TonDC.

But what would she have achieved if she'd stayed behind in TonDC? Lexa wouldn't have been there, nor would Anya though Clarke wasn't ready to admit yet she was happy Lexa's former mentor was around. Clarke would just have been on her own around people she didn't know, but they knew her. They knew of Wanheda and probably would have questioned her ears off about the mountain. The one thing she didn't want to talk about. Talking about the mountain was exactly the wrong thing to do. It helps no one to dwell on the past. But in her time alone in the woods she had done exactly that. And that must have been why nightmares still kept haunting her at night. Well maybe not anymore she didn't know, Clarke hadn't slept in almost two days now.

But the point was coming here, to Selin Village with Lexa, was it actually the right decision? The way she was healing felt completely wrong and Clarke wondered if she even had a soul left. Could this not have been done in a different way? Maybe more peaceful by just talking it through with Colioh…Clarke stopped her own train of thoughts there and heard herself snort when realizing how ridiculous it actually sounded. Who was she kidding? With Lexa even mentioning the words peace talks she would have been struck down by one of her Generals. It was their culture, and Clarke suddenly realized she wasn't losing her soul or humanity. She was sacrificing it for the greater good. For the hope of maybe one day to be able to live on earth in peace; and maybe then there would be opportunity for talking about peace instead of demanding vengeance.

Clarke also realized that the fact she was worried about who she was becoming means she still has a soul and that she still is human. Lexa had grown up with vengeance and death being the norm and had not become a soulless, murderous monster. Despite having the head of the girl she loved delivered to her Lexa had remained a caring leader of her people, even going as far to drop all barriers and open her heart to Clarke to show she is still human.

Clarke had tasted Lexa's lips on hers and she remembered what it had felt like. It had felt sweet and soft. Breath taking and so peaceful in a time of war. It almost made her regret she pulled away. But as long as Clarke could recall memories like that she knew she was going to be alright. _Sacrifices Clarke, so that they don't have to_ …she reminded herself and almost said it out loud to make sure she wouldn't forget.

"Wanheda?"

The voice that interrupted her thoughts was soft and with doubt. Clarke looked up, not realizing she had been staring down at her own feet and her eyes landed on Aden. The boy looked a bit scared and had been hesitant to approach her.

"Yes, Aden?" she said but her face remained expressionless because she was still recovering from her emotional trail of thoughts.

"A-Anya said you are a healer. She said…you could…" he didn't dare to say anything else because Clarke's expression wasn't changing.

She looked up from the boy to search for Anya. Anya was stood on the other side of the village but noticed Clarke looking at her and just offered her a look that said help the boy out you could use the distraction. But honestly Clarke wasn't sure if she read that correctly because Anya being nice to her was something that just didn't feel right. She also wondered if Anya had seen her sitting here on a crate outside one of the houses staring at her feet. In the end it probably was a reminder that she should act as Wanheda and staring down at your feet is most definitely not fitting for that title.

"I c-could…I'll f-find our own healer again."

Clarke stared at Aden as he turned around and was about to walk away from her. She realized she still hadn't really been welcoming to the boy and that hadn't really helped the pit of fear in his stomach to go away. Clarke slightly shook her head and finally showed a smile on her face.

"No it's fine Aden, Anya was right I am a healer. Come sit." She said and the boy stopped walking as he heard the tone in her voice was a lot kinder than the look Clarke had on her face moments ago.

And when he saw she was now smiling he found the courage to do as she told and went to sit down on the crate she just stood up from. Clarke remembered how brave, or stupid he had been earlier today to attack Kensi and Anya and how he now seemed to be nothing more than a scared and shy young teenage boy. Though Lexa's treatment towards him earlier today probably was part of the reason he changed into this.

"Okay." He said as he sat down on the crate.

Clarke looked at his wrist and the bandages around it that looked to be in poor condition. Whoever had put these on either had a lack of medical skills or simply was not interested in looking after Aden's well-being.

"Stay here I will get you some bandages."

She quickly hurried towards Zephyr and pulled out some bandages from his saddle. And when she spotted Kensi's horse she had a quick peek inside of the saddle too and found what she was looking for. Clarke inhaled the scent from the damp piece of cloth she pulled from it and recognized it from the bandage Kensi had given her when she rescued Clarke from the Ice Nation. Satisfied that this would be enough to fix up his wrist as much as she could and tend to his slightly beaten face Clarke headed back and was relieved to see Aden was still there. He was using the edge of the crate he was sitting on as a distraction and ran two fingers back and forth over the edge.

Aden stopped this as soon as he saw Clarke coming back and looked at her with a little bit of worry as she knelt down in front of him.

"I hope I am not a burden to you, Wanheda." He said, his words confirming the worried look he held in his eyes.

Clarke chuckled. "You are definitely not a burden, Aden." She said.

If anything it gave her something to do. Anya was right she did need the distraction. Lexa was in the tavern with Kensi, Colin and Thoni to discuss future leadership, the threat of the Ice Nation now to the Lake People and the terms for the Lake People to re-join the coalition. Or in other words, Lexa was busy doing politics and Clarke was more than grateful for not having to be part of it.

And while Clarke needed the moment of peace and quiet she had taken outside this house, she had been using it for too long and she was glad Anya noticed the slight panic attack that threatened to surface. Though if she were to go to Anya and thank her for the distraction, she was more likely to get scolded for looking weak in public, after all she has a title to live up to now, just like Lexa. Although Clarke couldn't help but laugh at the thought of Anya giving her an earful, in reality Clarke would most likely feel more intimidated than amused if she did.

She quickly shook her thoughts away and decided to focus on the task at hand and after removing the bandages she decided to see how badly broken Aden's wrist is. "This might hurt a little bit, Aden." She said and started pressing down on different locations on his wrist.

He only flinched once or twice when Clarke pressed down. All in all when she finished examining it she could clearly tell it was a clean break. Now she wondered if maybe Lexa had known exactly what she did and at least give him the mercy of not needing to have it set back in place.

"You are in luck, Aden. It's a clean break. I will just wrap this bandage tightly around your wrist and you will need to wear a sling so that it can rest for the next ten days."

"Ten days!?" he exclaimed "How am I supposed to go fishing?"

Clarke couldn't help but chuckle at his worries. "Well maybe you should have thought of that before you decided to anger the Commander, hmm?" she said as she started wrapping the bandage around his wrist.

Aden lowered his head at Clarke's words, realizing she was right. "But I was just so angry at Kensi."

Clarke's lips slightly parted in surprise when she heard him say this. Sure a lot of villagers had felt betrayed when she showed up at Lexa's side. But the tone in his voice showed that there was more to it.

"You two are close?" she asked him.

He just nodded, his head remained lowered to the ground and he even turned it away from Clarke now. Clarke had finished wrapping the bandage around his wrist and gently placed her hands on his knees. She felt like placing one hand on his cheek to comfort him but that would probably take it one step too far.

"It's okay, Aden. You can tell me, I won't tell anyone." She tried to assure him.

To Clarke it didn't sound very reassuring but clearly Aden thought otherwise because he looked away from the ground and aimed his eyes at hers.

"C-Colioh hurt me after he killed my parents. Not from the outside though but with words. Kensi started noticing this and whenever she was around she would visit me and talk with me. We sometimes would go fishing If Colioh wasn't in the village, because he could not know we did this. She looked after me, like a big sister you know?"

Clarke sighed. She didn't know what it was like to have a sibling but she understood the point he was making. Aden was mentally being abused by Colioh and the only conclusion she could draw from this was to make sure he would not get the same idea about defecting as his parents did. Seeing Kensi at Lexa's side must have hurt him badly. With all the bad things Colioh had been saying about Lexa something must have snapped inside of him.

"So you saw her with us and you felt betrayed." She said softly and pushed the piece of cloth she had removed from Kensi's saddle in his hand and moved it up to the bruise under his eye. "Keep it there, it will help. Also for your nose."

But as soon as Clarke let go of his hand he pulled it away from his face and looked at it and then he smelled at it before he put it back under his eye. "This is from Kensi?" he asked with a smile on his face and clearly he recognized the scent coming from the cloth.

"Well it's from her saddlebag, but don't tell her I took it." Clarke joked and saw the smile on his face widening.

"I won't." he said. "Thank you for helping me Wanheda."

"You're welcome Aden. Just don't tell anyone I was nice to you. I have a reputation to keep up to." She said and winked at him.

"Your secret is safe with me." He said and moved his head forward so that Clarke could put the sling behind his neck and then wrap it around his arm.

"Aden miya!"

Both of them looked up at the mention of Aden's name. Lexa was standing outside the inn and surprisingly called out to him. The smile on his face dropped in an instant and Clarke saw fear seeping into in his eyes. She quickly placed a gentle hand on his shoulder to try and reassure him but in his defence she did give him a rather intimidating look.

"She will not harm you again, Aden. Go to her. Don't keep her waiting and give her a reason to be mad at you again."

He nodded at Clarke and quickly jumped off the crate to hurry over to Lexa. Looking up at the sky Clarke suddenly noticed that the sun had already reached its highest point and was slowly descending. Clarke guessed it had to be around three in the afternoon which meant Lexa had been in the tavern for several hours. She was glad Lexa was done now. Or she hoped at least and that she wasn't on a short recess before going back in again. It was probably best to go see her as soon as she finished talking to Aden and find out if she finished the negotiations.

* * *

"Raven!"

Raven was on her way to get dinner when Octavia caught up with her in the corridor. The brunette looked up to meet Octavia's worried eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked,

"Have you seen Abby and Marcus?" she asked.

Raven shook her head. "Not since this morning, why?"

"There is a Trikru emissary standing outside our gate asking to speak to the Chancellor."

Raven's eyebrows rose at that and she immediately decided dinner can wait and she should go see what's going on at the gate. "I was on my way to the mess hall. Maybe they're there."

"Was?" Octavia asked teasing.

"A girl can be curious can't she?"

"Curiosity killed the cat, you know. But see you there." She said smiling and headed towards the mess hall to check what Raven suggested.

Raven chuckled at the old saying and picked up her pace to make sure she arrived there before Abby and Kane did should Octavia find them. Once she was outside she could already see quite the commotion. A large crowd of people had gathered at the gate and Raven had to put in some effort to work herself through them before she finally reached the gate and spotted Bellamy and Lincoln standing there already.

She just about saw them nodding at her before her eyes went to the people who stood at a respective distance at the other side of the gate.

Four grounders were still seated on their horses and all lined up. One of them was stood a few meters in front of them and stood next to his horse, holding the reigns in his hands. The man wasn't very tall, average height probably but he was muscular. Very muscular Raven noticed. He looked young, late-twenties probably though these days that could maybe count as old? The sides of his head were almost completely shaven. The top of his head held a lot more hair that was rather long and braided down with the end of the braid ending somewhere on his back. He had a perfectly grown beard. Not too long and not too short. His eyes were blue with a slight hint of green and a Trikru defining tattoo appeared just from under his beard.

The dark brown cotton coat that reached his thighs was buttoned down just above his chest. A black shirt appeared just above the top button. Below the coat he wore a pair of dark-grey pants and black boots and on his back she could just about see the handle of a sword sticking out of the scabbard it was sheathed in. Raven scoffed, another typical looking Grounder.

"Who is he?" she asked Lincoln, craning her neck to face him.

Lincoln looked back and answered her question. "That is Nyc. He is a Trikru diplomat."

Raven snorted at that. "A diplomat? Really Lincoln? He's more muscled then you are."

Lincoln raised an eyebrow at her. "Have you ever seen anyone serving Heda not being well-trained?"

Now that he mentioned it, Raven realized she actually hadn't. "Touché." She said and then turned her head when she heard Abby and Kane approaching. Octavia was right behind them as a few guards ordered the people to make room for them to pass.

Abby had barely arrived at the gate before she spoke up to the man. "Who are you?"

The man, Nyc, gave a slight bow towards them as he realized he was finally met with their leader.

"I am Nyc. Heda has offered to help you get through the winter and." He started, taking a few steps closer but seemed to pause, hesitating to continue talking.

His pause lasted too long to Abby's liking. "And what?" she snapped again and Raven flinched and the not so subtle tone she held.

Nyc seemed to ignore it and just locked his eyes with a slight kind smile at Abby. "We have news of Wanheda."

Wanheda. Raven remembered that name the Grounders had given Clarke. Octavia told her it meant Commander of Death. They weren't wrong with that. Clarke had a lot of blood on her hands. Finn's blood. She shook her head and refused to think about that now. It's not why she is angry at Clarke. Not anymore. Her anger is now purely focused on the fact that she chose the wilderness over her people to deal with her problems.

"Where is she!?" Abby once again snapped at Nyc and Raven swore he was the perfect example of self-control. He didn't even look offended in the slightest. Which she was grateful for. The mention of Clarke made Abby abandon any diplomatic skills and right now she was nothing more than a concerned mother.

"Perhaps we should talk in a better suited environment?" he suggested in a calm demeanor.

"Not until you tell me where my daughter is."

And still Nyc managed to stay calm. Raven herself was already getting tired of Abby's stubbornness.

"If I answer that question now, you will have more. And more after that. I assure you I will answer all of them Chancellor Griffin but it will be best if I do so with only your council."

Abby was ready to protest once again but this time Marcus placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her and spoke up instead.

"I think you are right, Nyc, please come in but only one of your guards is allowed with you."

Marcus turned to Abby to make sure their eyes met so that he could convince her that this was the best option. After a few seconds of hesitation she finally gave in and ordered the guards to open the gate for Nyc to enter.

"Thank you, Marcus Kane." He said and ordered one of the men behind him to follow.

Raven couldn't help but think Nyc lived up to his title as a diplomat. He had never met any of them in person and yet knew their names. Or maybe Clarke had actually told them the names and descriptions so that Nyc could make a better impression.

"You're coming in too." She heard Abby say and was surprised it was aimed at her when their eyes met. "You have a pretty good idea of our current supplies and you did suggest us needing help for the winter this morning so I would like to hear your thoughts." She said as they made their way into the Ark.

Not much later they were standing in the council chambers. Abby, Marcus, Sinclair, Raven and Bellamy were all present. Raven smiled as she remembered how the kids who had been sent down to earth basically demanded for him to be among the council and after some convincing Abby had actually agreed. And Bellamy had done a great job so far. Clarke could actually learn a few things from him. He had some of the same demons to carry around but he actually had been talking to people here at Arkadia.

Either way it was not worth it to dwell over it now. She looked up to see the guards closing the door and stepping in front of it while Nyc went to stand on the other end of the table, opposite of Abby. Raven couldn't help but think he did this on purpose so that he could look her directly in the eyes.

"So, now that we are here. Will you tell me where my daughter is?"

He nodded. "Of course, Chancellor. Your daughter is with Heda. They are scheduled to return tomorrow."

Abby shrugged. "Scheduled to return? You are saying that as if she is with your Commander on her free will."

"She is."

"I highly doubt that after your Commander stabbed us in the back."

And this is where Nyc's patience ran out. He could handle being insulted himself but when it came to the Commander he would not tolerate it for a second. Raven sometimes wondered if the Grounders worshipped her like she was some kind of Goddess.

"You think you know us. Know her. You insult a woman who after only witnessing sixteen summers has achieved more than any Commander before her. She has united the clans and created peace. A peace we enjoyed as much as we could with the threat of the mountain until you landed in our lands. Your people killed hundreds of ours and yet Heda still chose an Alliance over laying waste to your ark-"

"An Alliance that your Commander broke and forced my daughter to do something no girl her age should have done."

But Nyc would have nothing of Abby's anger and even stood up for Clarke now, much to Raven's disgust.

"You insult your daughter. Her actions caused freedom for both our people. You should honor what she has done."

Raven didn't mean to say it. She really didn't but her words were out before she even knew it. "There is nothing to honor. She ran away from us, she's a fucking coward."

She regretted her words instantly but couldn't take them back anymore. It was a direct insult towards Clarke. To Abby's daughter and one would think Abby would be offended by this but it was Nyc who spoke up firmly and strangely enough with a lot of authority.

"You should all be ashamed of yourselves." He started. "Do you not realize you no longer live in the sky? Whatever rules you upheld there they no longer apply here. Down here we are to follow the rules Heda sets for us. You are the ones invading our lands and instead of respecting our culture you go around and act like the land is yours and yours alone. We cannot work together this way. We cannot offer our assistance when all of your people except one have understood that in order to survive you need to be willing to make sacrifices. War is upon us and may very well reach your walls sooner rather than later. Your daughter, Chancellor Griffin, is out there trying to prevent that." He went to face Raven now. "Wanheda did not run away from you. She avoided people who do not understand what she has done. She avoided a mother who thinks she is but a child still and she sought out the people who do respect and understand her."

Nyc turned to the guard he had brought with him. "Let's go, we have no need for negotiations anymore." He said.

And all everyone did was just watch how the door was opened for Nyc and his guard and seconds later closed again leaving them all to their thoughts. Seconds passed by in complete silence and Raven was completely shocked. Most of what Nyc said was true and he just figuratively slapped them all in the face.

"We just got put in our place, didn't we?" she said being the first one to speak up.

"Yep." Bellamy said and the rest followed shortly after that with just nodding their heads.

"I'll make this right, just hold on." Raven said and hurried towards the door as fast as she could.

"No Raven wait let one of us-" Bellamy tried but Raven brushed him away.

"I'm not a cripple Bellamy, I'll get him back." She said angrily.

She didn't wait for Bellamy's apology and just ran after Nyc as fast as she could. But when he didn't come into view when she reached the end of the corridor she thought that maybe she should have let Bellamy go after all. _Those damn grounders walk fast_ , she thought.

Luckily when she was outside she just about saw the guards opening the gate for him and Raven thought her only chance to stop him was to shout out his name.

"Nyc wait!"

He heard her alright but he didn't have any intention to actually acknowledge her. The gate opened and he stepped outside. Raven cursed at herself and increased her pace, not knowing that she was actually capable of it and no doubt will regret it later on.

"Come on, I'm sacrificing my god damn leg here, that's got to count for something." She barked at him when she finally reached the gate and he got onto his horse.

She quickly went to stand into the path of his horse and placed her hands on her hips. He glared down at her and a frown formed between his eyes showing that he was considering his options.

"And, right now I'm actually sacrificing my life if you decide to ignore me and run that giant animal over me." She added.

Raven wasn't sure but she could have sworn she saw a smile showing somewhere in that beard. Even if it was there it was gone almost as quickly as it appeared. His hand ran through his beard a few times while he looked up and down Raven's body and frankly Raven didn't know what to make of it. Was he checking her out?

"Raven of the Sky People you are an interesting one." He said but remained on his horse.

"Wait what?" Raven said confused. "How do you know my name? Abby just went straight at you and never bothered with introductions."

This actually made him chuckle a bit. He kept staring at her a little longer before he decided to get off his horse. The guard that had joined him earlier mirrored his actions but kept a few paces behind him as Nyc faced Raven.

"Indra said to me not that long ago; if you ever run into a sky girl who acts before she thinks you have run into Raven. That girl is wild and carrying the name of a bird does not fit."

Raven raised her eyebrow at that. "I'm not sure if I should feel insulted or not."

"She said a wolf would be more fitting. It is a compliment especially coming from Indra." He said to her.

Raven just threw her hands up in the air. "Whatever." She huffed. "Just…come back inside, please?" and she wondered why on earth she made herself so desperate to practically beg to a Grounder now.

"Promise me something, Raven of the Sky people." Nyc said, now on a more serious tone.

"How about you ask me first and then I will see what I can do for you."

He nodded. "If I go back in there, your people will respect Heda, they will respect our culture. Only then we can negotiate."

Raven went to protest but she knew he was right. Every word he had scowled at them earlier was true to the core. This wasn't their home. This is land that Lexa was allowing them to live on and she was offering them help to get through the winter. Help they really need. All she had to do was convince Abby, how hard could that be?

"Okay…" she started "Okay. But give me a few minutes to talk to the Chancellor.

* * *

It had been a long day. The assault on the village had been dragging but the seemingly endless session of politics in the tavern was a lot more tiresome. With her injuries not even close to being healed yet she could feel the wound in her stomach starting to object. But Lexa had to ignore it. She could not appear weak in front of the Lake people now that she had only just won them back on her side. She was just glad the negotiations were over and she could go out to get some fresh air. Inhaling deeply she took in the crisp air of the nearing winter. She briefly closed her eyes and as they opened again they searched for Clarke. It didn't take long to notice her sitting in a kneeling position in front of Aden and talking to him while she was treating his broken wrist. The wrist she had broken. Something he had deserved. If the boy had just listened it wouldn't have happened, regardless of what Kensi and Thoni told her about him earlier today. He should be lucky at least that Lexa was generous enough to make it a clean break or the bad news of recovery that Clarke had no doubt given him would have been a lot worse.

Lexa wasn't sure what to think of him. He was young still, only thirteen winters had passed for him so far according to Kensi but he had no discipline and due to Colioh's horrible treatment towards him his mood could swing in the blink of an eye. Much like what happened when he tried to kill Kensi. At that moment Lexa had seen something in Kensi's eyes, something that most people would have missed, but Lexa didn't. She was attached to Aden and startled, maybe even shocked when he charged her, his eyes filled with rage and disgust.

Still, now that the negotiations were over she had to stay true to her word. And now that they were dealt with Lexa wants to head back to TonDC as quickly as possible. There was a lot to be done. The situation around Echo needs to be handled, Lexa wants to know how negotiations are going at Arkadia and the only actual thing she is looking forward to is finally getting the chance to train Clarke. She would love to dwell in this thought but the pain in her stomach forced itself forward again and this time forced the Commander to grind her teeth together and bite away the pain without anyone noticing. Lexa felt a drop of sweat coming down the side of her head and quickly wiped it away. It was time to sort out the final steps of her plans here so that she could head back to TonDC.

"Aden miya!" she yelled out to the boy.

She could see his shoulders slump when he realized who called him over which made Lexa slightly huff in frustration while she pinched her thumb and index finger between her eyes as she reconsidered everything she had just agreed upon with Thoni. But it was too late for that now. And if he knew no discipline she might as well show him the meaning of the word. Lexa straightened her back, clasped her hands behind her back and looked as commanding as ever.

Aden finally approached her after Clarke gave him a few more words of advice and a pat on the shoulder. But the closer he got the lower his walking speed became and when he finally stood in front of her he bowed his head and decided not to look up at her again. _From fear probably_ , Lexa thought. And it showed again he knew nothing of discipline.

"I didn't call you to me just so you could study the laces of my boots, Aden. Look at me." She said firmly.

Aden didn't need to be told twice and his blue eyes met with Lexa's. And Lexa's guess earlier was correct, his eyes held fear.

"Sha, Heda." He said softly and reminded himself just in time not to look away from her again.

"Get yourself ready to travel, you are coming back with us to TonDC." She said, cutting right to the chase.

He gave her a confused look. "Heda?"

"Part of the negotiations today were about you, Aden. Kensi wants to take you to TonDC to honor your parents and so does Thoni."

A slight sparkle showed itself in his eyes at this news. "I get to go to TonDC? With Kensi?"

Lexa groaned in annoyance and had to bite back a wave of pain that forced itself through her stomach. Aden was working her patience and it didn't do her injured body any good. "I do not wish to repeat myself again, Aden. Gather whatever you can fit in one bag and report to Anya at the stables. You are her second now." She said.

"Y-you are training me?" he asked yet another question but he seemed excited about it.

"No, Anya is. Now I suggest you do as your Commander tells you before I change my mind and leave you here."

She could see him about to ask another question and Lexa knew what it was. He didn't want to be trained by Anya; he wanted to be trained by Kensi. But one commanding and impatient look full of authority was enough to make him change his mind. Instead he bowed to Lexa and thanked her and then advanced towards his house to no doubt do as Lexa told him.

Lexa could no longer hide the pain and sick feeling seeping into her body. As soon as Aden left she felt the world spinning around her and her body started heating up. Drops of sweat were sliding down her head, her back, just everywhere. The Commander knew she could not have a repeat of what happened with Clarke in the cave. Not right now. Somehow the pain inside needs to be pushed aside. She had to go somewhere private but she feared as soon as she would take another step she would collapse.

"Jok…" she softly cursed and reminds herself to stay calm and take short and deep breaths while her eyes close for a few moments. But whatever she did the pain was only getting worse.

Suddenly a hand gently placed itself on her shoulder and her eyes shot open. They merged with Clarke's blue and confident eyes as the blonde nodded at her. "Ste yun, Leksa. Jos mafta ai op." She said just loud enough for them to hear.

Lexa just let it happen. Clarke's words, surprisingly in Trigedasleng, gave Lexa just about enough strength to follow Clarke inside the tavern. Now that the negotiations were over the owner was back inside and serving some of the local villagers as well as Lexa's warriors. Lexa wasn't sure what exactly was happening, black spots were still forming in front of her, and she knew she was close to passing out.

But as soon as they were inside Clarke spoke up in a commanding tone. "Ban op! Nau!"

Despite the fever attacking her body, her soaring temperature and sweat dripping from any part of her skin not covered by clothing, an overwhelming sensation of adoration raced through her upon hearing Clarke speak with such authority. Such authority that everyone immediately got up to leave as though the Commander herself issued the order.

But Clarke stopped one of Lexa's warrior's, grabbing her by the bicep.

"Non min op."

The tall dark skinned woman nodded. "Sha, Wanheda." She said, bowed her head to both women and then left. As soon as she was gone Clarke hurried over to Lexa and the Commander felt a hand landing on her hip and another on her shoulder. She felt herself being guided backwards until suddenly she sat down and Clarke was unbuttoning her coat.

"You better not have torn your stiches again, Lexa." She said, the tone in her voice slightly agitated.

Lexa still felt she was too weak to object and once again just allowed Clarke to examine her, studying her face as she did so. After looking up and down Lexa's body a few times she saw blue eyes fill with content. This meant the stitches were still in place but Lexa suddenly noticed Clarke went to remove the bandages, probably to replace them with clean ones.

Lexa quickly got hold of her wrist, wrapping her fingers around it but not putting any pressure on her grip. "Leave them on. Do it when we are back in TonDC, we need to leave soon." She said and cleared her throat as she noticed her voice was a bit hoarse.

Now that she was sitting Lexa slowly felt the dark spots in front of her fading and the sick feeling as well as the pain that swam in her stomach was slightly subsiding. Clarke looked like she was about to object but realized quickly it was pointless to do so. Instead she was set on giving Lexa a speech.

"I told you, you weren't fit enough for this yet." She said, reaching for another chair to sit down in front of her.

"I know."

"Have you actually had something to eat or drink since we left the cave together?"

"Not much."

"Lexa!"

"I know…"

Clarke shook her head disapprovingly and stood from her chair. She disappeared from sight but Lexa knew what she was going to do. Not much later she returned and sat back down on her chair, holding two cups of water. One of them was handed over to Lexa. "Drink." Clarke said and Lexa happily did so.

After a few strong gulps the cup was empty. Clarke swiftly pulled it from her hands and had it replaced by the other cup. This time Lexa just took a small sip before resting it on her leg. "How did you know?"

Clarke knew exactly what Lexa was referring to. "The same thing happened back when we were in the cave together. Only this time I saw it coming."

Lexa was suddenly glad she had brought Clarke with her and dreads to think what would have happened if she hadn't shown up. The collapse probably couldn't have been avoided but Anya or Indra would no doubt have come up with something to make Lexa less weak then she appeared. But luckily thanks to Clarke it never happened and she was thankful for it. Thankful for her.

"Mochof, Klark." She said slightly smiling.

"Sure." She said back. "Now, want to tell me why Aden ran by me looking scared and excited at the same time?"

This made Lexa chuckle and she answered the blonde after taking another sip of her water.

"He will come back with us to TonDC, Anya will oversee his training."

Clarke laughed. "And now it all makes sense." She said. "Not that I am not happy for him, but something tells me it wasn't your idea to take him back with us."

Lexa shook her head. "It wasn't, Aden's mind might be too broken to train. He lacks discipline and backbone."

"That-"

Lexa already knew what she was going to say. "I know Clarke, Aden's mind was broken not by his own fault but by Colioh's. But Kensi was almost begging me to take him with us and Thoni argued I owe it to his parents. So I agreed, but only with Anya training him, not Kensi."

Clarke nodded. "Because Kensi is too close to him and Anya is tough and has the right attitude." She said.

"That and Kensi still has Timor as her second, though from what she told me he is close to finishing his training." Lexa added.

Lexa took another few sips of her water, glad to feel better again. The heat had left her body and the pain was on a more tolerable level now. Clarke suddenly looked away from her, eyes gazing down at her feet.

"Clarke?" Lexa asked confused.

"Would you have done it?" she asks, eyes moving back up to face Lexa.

"What?" Lexa asked but she knew what Clarke was referring to and rather not answer the question at all.

"You know what I mean." She countered, slightly annoyed.

Lexa sighed, her lips parted to say no, no she wouldn't have done it. But it was a lie and Lexa didn't want to lie to Clarke. So she sealed her lips again and did what Clarke did to her earlier; she looked away.

"Clarke, I told you, I-"

"Yes I know, you said you might have to do things you don't want. It's just…it's difficult Lexa."

"You think I don't know that? You think I wanted to kill him?" Lexa hissed. "I am Heda, Clarke. My people demand justice. They demand vengeance. It is my responsibility, my burden to carry. I told you my soul is broken, my hands are stained with blood I can never wash off. An example had to be made, a sacrifice…"

Clarke suddenly placed a hand on her cheek. It made Lexa look back up at Clarke and she found a gentle smile aimed at her. "I know Lexa. And as I promised I didn't interfere. But I also said I might call you out on it when it's just us. I am changing Lexa. Ever since I landed here on earth I have been changing. And it scares me. And I want to know I still have a soul so I need these talks with you. I need to remind myself that I can still care."

Lexa gasped at Clarke's words. Placing the cup at the table next to her she got hold of the hand pressed down on her cheek, linking her fingers with Clarke's and doing the same with Clarke's other hand.

"Klark kom Skaikru, you are the most caring person I have ever come to know in my life. You are a good person and there is absolutely no need for you to constantly remind yourself about this. You are strong and smart but also stubborn and fierce. These qualities combined make up who you are. Clarke Griffin, a young and beautiful woman who will do anything for her people because she cares."

Clarke looked at her, eyes watering up but she refused to release the tears from their cage. She swallowed deeply and blinked a few times. Their eyes stayed locked and their fingers stayed linked. Lexa suddenly noticed Clarke's gaze lowering to her lips. Then slowly her head moved forward, inching closer to Lexa's. Lexa closed her eyes, knowing what was happening but not wanting to make the first move herself. It had to be Clarke, Lexa would not want to initiate it and risk hurting her again.

But it never happened. Clarke suddenly dislodged their hands and leaned back in her seat. When Lexa opened her eyes she saw Clarke cradling the back of her neck with bit both of her hands, looking down at her feet once more. Lexa quickly cleared her throat and searched for a place to rest her slightly trembling hands. First she went to fold them together in front of her chest but decided upon placing them on her knees instead. A deafening silence of what felt like it lasted forever followed before Clarke placed her hands on her lap and spoke up again.

"So…uhm…Aden comes back with us, I take it your army stays?"

Lexa smiled, thankful to Clarke to kill the silence. "Yes, they will protect the border with the Ice Nation, though most of Nia's army is at Polis now. But she could still order what's left of her army in Azgeda to attack the Lake People. Indra will oversee it all. She will remain here for half a season to support Colin in his new role as leader together with Thoni as his advisor."

"With Thoni's guidance and Indra's battle experience I'm sure he will become a great leader. A much better one than his father no doubt." Clarke said.

"Yes, he will be in due time." Lexa agreed.

She stood to her feet and started buttoning up her coat again. "It's time to go Clarke, we need to get back to TonDC as quickly as possible."

Clarke nodded and followed Lexa outside. The warrior Clarke had ordered to not let anyone in stepped aside and had stayed true to her word because Kensi was waiting there for them.

"Heda, everyone is ready to leave at your Command." She said and fell in line behind the two women as they made their way to the stables.

She all but nodded at Kensi and not much later they found themselves entering the stables. Anya, Gia, Timor, Tys and Indra were already waiting for them, including a handful of Trikru warriors. Anya sat on her horse with Echo sitting in front of her, hands firmly tied together. Tys and Gia both were seated on a horse this time too. Aden sat down on Kensi's horse and Kensi jumped up on the animal too, taking place behind the boy.

Indra stood waiting with Rasha's reins in one hand and Zephyr's in the other. Clarke immediately hooped on top of the black steed and Lexa mirrored her actions.

"Heda. The army has been informed, we will march for the border with Azgeda tomorrow. Colin will accompany us and Thoni will remain to oversee the village." Indra said, letting go of the reigns now that both women had mounted up.

"Good. Make sure the army is well fed and rested. They need their strength, the closer they get to the border the colder it will get. Make sure Colin rides at the head of the army, his people need to see him in charge now but I assume he has already sent scouts ahead to inform the remaining villages of what happened?"

Indra nodded. "Sha, Heda."

"Very well, then we will depart for TonDC, keep me informed Indra."

"I will Heda, but I have one more thing to report." She started. "Ryder just returned and he informed me the Ice Nation soldiers you expected to be sent by Azgeda were nowhere to be found."

This worried Lexa. "Are you sure? Did he do a second sweep?"

"He did, Heda. Even over a larger perimeter. There were no Ice Nation soldiers located."

"Heda this isn't good. They must have arrived sooner than we thought and probably seen us taking control of the village." Anya said.

Lexa cursed at herself and lowered her head to think through her options. But surprisingly Echo spoke up.

"If they are nowhere to be found they have already reported everything to the nearest outpost."

Her unauthorized speech immediately earned Echo a knee from Anya in her side, forcing a grunt of pain to escape her lips.

"Shof op, do not speak unless spoken to." Anya ordered her.

But Lexa realized if Echo was willing to share this information, perhaps she was willing to share more.

"Tell us what you know, Echo kom Azgeda."

Echo swallowed deeply as she looked Lexa into the eyes. She was considering her options but realizing that she no longer was part of Azgeda it was pointless to protect her former queen. Then again, Lexa knew Echo also had no obligations towards her either. After all Lexa told her she would die one way or another and what she was going to say could be a complete lie.

"If they reported what happened here to the nearest outpost a rider will already have reached our capital. With Nia in Polis Roan will be on the throne there and he will be certain to report this back to Nia. A rider is probably already on its way to Polis, far out of your reach but he is not your biggest concern. Roan knows that you are here now, and he is smart enough to know you will leave your army behind…"

Echo didn't have to say anything else. "He will plan an ambush…" Anya said worriedly but then grabbed a fistful of Echo's hair, forcing her head back. "Why should we believe what you say? You have no loyalty towards Heda."

Lexa narrowed her eyes when she suddenly saw Echo looking at Clarke. "Maybe not. But wouldn't my loyalty towards Wanheda be enough?"

Anya snorted at this. "Don't insult us." She said angry, letting go of Echo's hair.

But Echo kept her eyes locked on Clarke. "Her friend Bellamy, and Wanheda's actions freed us from the mountain. It is you who insults _her_ , Anya."

Anya was just about ready to hit her again but Lexa stopped her. "That's enough, Anya. I do not see why she would lie about this. Either way we have no choice, we need to leave for TonDC."

"Are you sure, Heda? Perhaps we should send riders ahead first." Indra objected.

But Lexa shook her head. "There is no point, Azgeda will already be waiting and I will send these riders to their deaths." She said.

"How many can we expect?" Clarke asked Echo realizing that if she holds loyalty towards Clarke she would answer this question with honesty.

"A dozen, maybe two. An outpost will not have much more available." She said.

"Very well then, gather five more warriors from the army and tell them to catch up with us." Lexa told Indra.

Indra nodded. "Sha, Heda." She said and quickly headed out of the stables.

"Gia, Tys, do not leave Wanheda's side until we are in TonDC. Kensi, you ride slightly ahead of us with Timor, keep your eyes open and I want to know as soon as you see anything suspicious. Anya and I will be right behind Wanheda." She said and then faced the group of five warriors in waiting. "Two of you in front of Wanheda and the rest ride behind me and Anya."

Everyone nodded but Lexa had one last order to deliver. "Aden, you ride with me. It is not safe for you with Kensi ahead of the group."

The young boy immediately did as he was told and seconds later he was seated on top of Rasha and in front of Lexa. She paid no attention to the brief moment of worry that showed up in his eyes for having to sit on the same horse as the Commander. Instead Lexa swallowed deeply as she urged Rasha forward. An ambush was awaiting her once more, only this time she knew it was coming. Just not when or where.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I would just like to make a note here on Aden and Lexa because I think some of you might not like how she is treating Aden and what she thinks of him. I know Lexa favors Aden in the show and feels a connection with him. But as I said this is my take on what happened after season 2 though that doesn't mean they will not become as close as they seem to be in the show. Just give it time, they only just met and who know's with hard work Aden might change Lexa's mind. ;)
> 
> Thanks for reading though and please share any feedback, idea's or comments you have so that I can try and improve my writing in the following chapters.
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Medo en Keryon – Body and Soul
> 
> Miya - Come here
> 
> Ste yun, Leksa. Jos mafta ai op. - Be strong Lexa. Just follow me
> 
> Ban op! Nau! - Leave! Now!
> 
> Non min op - No one enters
> 
> Name explanations:
> 
> Nyc (Pronounced as Nick) chosen from New York City.


	5. Laudness en Fiyanes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven in denial, the ambush they expected and Kensi in pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thanks to everyone who keeps reading and supporting this story. Now before you start reading be warned once more. This is a dark story. This chapter will have blood, violence, angst, etc.
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes, I keep doing my best considering the language barrier. :)

It took a little more than five minutes to convince the council because Abby was as stubborn as an Ox and had pride as big as that gorilla Clarke once described. Kane and Bellamy persisted with trying to convince Abby to calm down and hear Nyc out and eventually she yielded. Once Abby had actually introduced everyone they continued the negotiations and after what felt like days but was only a couple of hours they had come to an agreement.

Abby was allowed to travel with Nyc to TonDC tomorrow and see for herself that Clarke was not being kept prisoner. Raven argued she had to go too. The supplies they agreed upon sharing had to be supervised and she volunteered to manage this. Apart from the supplies Nyc had also offered to improve their hunting skills and Skaikru in return will teach them more advanced ways of growing food and how to find more fertile ground for it. Last but certainly not least Bellamy offered his help in rebuilding TonDC and Nyc welcomed it more than anything. The tools of the Sky People could be of great help for it. It had been a long day with plenty of moments where Raven thought Nyc would walk away again but all in all it turned out better than Raven would have thought. Still she made it clear to Abby that she would rather blow up her lab than be present at one of these meetings again. Abby in turn tried to argue that Raven was actually good at politics considering she managed to convince Nyc to come back.

Now with the meeting over and her stomach finally filled with food Raven was making her way back to her lab. Or she was trying to at least. But just as she feared the effort she made to catch up with Nyc earlier was now coming back to bite her in the ass. Raven cursed at herself for being so stubborn and not letting Bellamy go after him. Or maybe she should just blame that stupid grounder for being stubborn but that wouldn't be fair. The brunette might not be the world's number one fan of the grounders but the speech Nyc had given them was spot on.

They had invaded their lands. The Grounders had been fighting their wars and picking their Commanders over the years while they had been living up in space for several generations thinking it wasn't safe to return to earth. Raven would feel the same way if they somehow had made their way up to the Ark in space. Things are different here on earth and after a rough start between Skaikru and Trikru they had to start respecting that.

A merciless, unbearable pain forced the mechanic out of her train of thoughts. The pain clawed itself through her entire leg and forced a deafening cry of pain from her lips. Her knees buckled and gave in and Raven crashed down to the cold floor of the corridor.

"Shit." She cursed at herself and tried to stand back to her feet.

But the pain was too much. As soon as she tried to put pressure on her leg the agonizing pain returned. She flinched and settled for the next best thing; sitting down with her back against the wall of the corridor. It was late, already past midnight and most people would already be in bed. Which meant it could take a while before someone would come by and find her. She considered either yelling or crawling over to her lab. Not med bay, the last thing she needed was a speech from Abby right now. With yelling that will also mean med bay so instead she just leaned her head back and closed her eyes, someone was bound to come by here until then she will just stay here, doing her best to fight the fever that, despite her efforts, kept rising.

Raven knew she must have fallen asleep at some point because all of the sudden her eyes shot open when she noticed someone standing over her.

"I am fairly sure this hallway is not meant to be slept in."

Of all the people who would find her, why did it have to be him? Why was he even in here anyways and not outside of the gate in the small camp his men had set up for him. Raven avoided eye contact with him and kept her eyes closed.

"Well you're wrong. We often just sit down and relax here."

"I would believe you if you actually looked relaxed, Raven of the Sky people."

"Why do you care anyways, don't Grounders banish people like me?" she said bitter finally deciding to look at him.

She saw Nyc staring at her. He looked like he was carefully thinking through what he was about to say to her. After a few moments of silence he spoke up.

"You are nothing like the exile, they are only banished when deformed by birth."

"Still a shit thing to do." Raven bit back. "Just leave me alone, I will be fine."

But he didn't listen to her. Instead he went to lean against the opposite wall and folded his arms together in front of his chest. Raven looked at him and shrugged.

"What are you doing, I said I was fine."

"You said your people often stay here to relax, I am trying to relax."

She scoffed at how he used her own words against her.

"Well go relax somewhere else, I need peace and quiet."

Nyc chuckled. "You are always the first one to speak up, Raven."

She opened her mouth to protest again but realized he was right. This only made her hate him even more. He was right all the time. He was right when he put them in their place during the council meeting and he was right now. If she would just keep her big mouth shut she could get her desired peace and quiet. But Raven never really was good at keeping quiet.

"So what? You are just going to stay here until I get up and leave?"

"Can you?"

"What?"

"Can you stand up and leave?"

His question was answered with silence. Raven lowered her head. No she couldn't stand. The pain was too much but she'd be damned if she admits this in front of a Grounder.

"Of course I can." She said, head moving back up to direct her eyes at Nyc.

But the words weren't even convincing enough for Raven to believe them herself. She could see in Nyc's eyes that he didn't believe it either. But he didn't speak up anymore. Instead he went to sit down to level her height and crossed his legs.

"You do not wish for your people to think you are weak." He said, it wasn't a question, it was an observation.

"I'm not weak." Raven bit back.

Nyc raised an eyebrow at her. "I did not say you were. I said you worry that your people might think you are."

Raven sighed. That wasn't it, but he was close enough. And strangely she actually spoke up to him about it. "I just don't want their pity. I can look after myself I'm not some cripple who needs to be tended to."

"I have not been with your people very long, but I do not believe they pity you, or think you are, as you say, a cripple." He said and moved his hand through his beard a few times while he continued talking. "Do you not wish for the pain in your leg to subside, would you not prefer to let Chancellor Griffin give you medicine for the pain?"

Raven shrugged. "The pain will never go away, no amount of medicine will fix my leg."

"But the medicine will make it more bearable, will it not?"

Raven had no idea why she was still talking to Nyc. She doesn't like Grounders, apart from Lincoln. And she certainly doesn't like Nyc. He's brash and wants to be right all the time. She didn't need his attempts for a pep talk. She needed him to go away and decided the only way to accomplish this is to keep her lips sealed. Raven closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall.

It didn't take long for Nyc to notice she was trying to ignore him now but he didn't make any indication he would leave. Not surprisingly at all, he had a lot more patience than she has and when her eyes opened again the mechanic saw his eyes were closed as well. But he wasn't trying to sleep. His back was straightened and his head wasn't leaning back against the wall like hers. Nyc was meditating and Raven wondered how he could be so calm.

"Why won't you just leave? Why are you staying here? Don't you see that I don't like you?"

His eyes remained closed as he answered her. "You might not be of my people, but you are suffering and I wish to help you with this, Raven of the Sky People. There is nothing else to it we are not as bad as you think us to be. But if you really want me to leave, all you have to do is tell me to leave and then I will leave." He said and his eyes were still closed.

Without hesitation Raven immediately spoke the words. "I want you to leave." She said and deep down cursed at herself for speaking them out loud.

Nyc hadn't expected her to actually say it either. His eyes shot open now and they showed confusion and disappointment. But Raven didn't want to acknowledge any of it. She looked straight at him and filled her eyes with as much confidence and annoyance as she could, much like the look she'd given Gustus when he'd searched her back at TonDC.

Nyc sighed and then nodded. "But if you really want me to leave, all you have to do is tell me and I will go." He said and stood back to his feet.

But it wasn't what she truly wanted. Or maybe it was? Raven didn't know for sure. She wasn't used to grounders caring about her or talking to her. Her mechanical and technological knowledge usually kept them at a distance which was exactly what she preferred. And after what happened to her at TonDC she didn't really care much for them either. The mechanic knew not everyone could be held accountable for what Gustus had done to her but it is what it is. They might need Nyc for the new Alliance they made but that doesn't mean she has to be friends with him or like him. And the last thing she needed from Nyc was his care about her well-being. That's what she kept telling herself at least. Just as she kept repeating in her head she wasn't sad to see Nyc offer her one last kind smile before he turned on his heels and continued walking through the corridor, before disappearing round a corner.

* * *

They had been traveling at high speed for quite some time now. The night had just about fallen and there had been a short discussion on whether to keep moving during dark or to make camp. But eventually Lexa insisted in continuing their journey home. Camping in the dark of night in the wilderness was arguably more dangerous. This way everyone was on high alert and no one would be sleeping. Or if people knew an ambush was lurking around the corner no one would sleep and they might as well keep moving.

Apart from this discussion no one had said a word. Everyone was focused only on their surroundings and ready to call out if they saw something suspicious. Only Clarke had glanced over her shoulder every now and then to look at Lexa and each time she did Lexa held a really small smile to reassure the blonde that they are going to be alright.

But that wasn't what worried her. What worried her were Lexa's injuries. If they were going to be ambushed it means she has to fight and that really wasn't in Lexa's best interest right now, health wise. Especially since only earlier today the injuries almost caused her to collapse. Clarke dreads what could happen. The only reassurance she had was that Anya figured out what happened at the tavern and while they had been debating on setting camp or not she practically ordered Lexa to eat and drink something.

But now Clarke's slowly starting to wonder if the ambush is going to happen at all. They've gotten further and further away from Selin and are already in Trikru territory now. The closer they get to TonDC the less likely it will be for Azgeda to ambush them. But of course just as Clarke is thinking about this Lexa suddenly pulls at the reins of her horse to force it to a full stop.

"Hod op!" Lexa said as the rest of the group stopped their horses as well.

And then the ten warriors that had accompanied them immediately went to surround Clarke. Clarke rolled her eyes at this, she really needed to learn how to fight so Lexa would stop worrying over her and these men and women would not be forced to sacrifice their lives to protect her. But as promised she didn't question Lexa's orders. If anything, if they hadn't been told to protect Clarke they would be doing anything in their power to protect Lexa. It the end it was just their duty and Clarke decided to just accept that.

"Heda?" Anya asked confused.

"We are in Trikru territory now, and yet we still have not been ambushed. But ahead, across that hill in the distance the road will be smaller and there will be more trees."

"A perfect position for an ambush." Tys said.

Clarke saw Gia frown at this. "But why make it more difficult for themselves and attack us in our own lands?" she asked.

Without warning and even surprising Clarke Anya slaps her at the back of her head. "You have much to learn yet, goufa, think!" she said, taking over Tys' role as her mentor. However the older man did not seem to be bothered by it at all and just chuckled as Gia rubbed the back of her head to ease the slight pain Anya had left there. Her eyebrows almost merged together as she showed a big frown and thought what it could be that Anya was trying to teach her.

Clarke herself had already figured it out and it took Gia a few seconds but eventually her eyes lit up and she showed a cheeky smile. "Because it's our lands. We would never expect an ambush in our own lands but they don't know that we know of their plans." She said and the smile on her face changed from cheeky to proud when Lexa compliments her.

"Yes, Gia. Exactly that well done." She says and the group laughs a bit.

"Though next time make sure no one has to knock sense into that head of yours first before you figure it out, seken." Tys added.

The proud smile she held turned into sullen frown; her attempts to regain her stoic warrior like expression fell flat. Clarke let out the most subtle of chuckles.

"Sha, Tys."

Clarke wonders how on earth they managed to stay so calm and relaxed to use this moment to teach Gia a lesson while not that far ahead an ambush probably awaits them which could cost all of them their lives. But as Gia shortly glances at Clarke to see if she impressed Clarke too the blonde couldn't help but nod in approval knowing it would make her feel better. And she was right, Gia immediately straightened her shoulders and her eyes filled with pride.

"Let's continue, but at a slower pace, return to formation." Lexa ordered everyone.

They continued on, passing over the hill it became evident that Lexa's words were true, the road had narrowed and the treeline had grown more dense.

Clarke swallowed deeply as Zephyr slowly trotted forward; she carefully turned her head to see if she could catch a glimpse of the Ice Nation ambushers trying not to make it too obvious that she was expecting an attack.

Time passed, they continued to move forward but nothing had happened yet. This really wasn't helping the nerves that were boiling down in her stomach. She glanced to her left to see Tys being the perfect example of calm but with his experience that shouldn't be surprising at all. Clarke was also fairly sure that if she were to look over her shoulder Lexa would hold the same look. She frowned for a second when Kensi turned to face Tys and a wave of concern replaced the focus in his eyes for a few seconds. It was the type of concern Clarke recognized and had seen many times before in her father's eyes when he looked at her. She couldn't help but wonder if maybe there was a connection between the two but Clarke was not given the opportunity to think on it as Kensi suddenly pulled the reins of her horse and forced the animal to stop.

All of a sudden an arrow shot by Clarke's head so close she could almost feel it. The first thought entering her mind was where that arrow would have landed if Kensi hadn't stopped forcing the rest of the group to mirror her actions. This thought quickly faded as a grunt of pain sounded from her right and she saw Gia being struck by an arrow in the leg. She seemed to barely flinch at it as more arrows followed and Lexa's men jumped off their horses and surrounded Clarke. The area was too narrow for them to fight on their horses. The horses scurried off into the treeline.

While the arrows kept flying in, some taking down the warriors surrounding Clarke, Ice Nation soldiers also came running at them, appearing from the tree line and roaring loud battle cries. Clarke felt her heart rate sky rocket as the situation she was now in became apparent. It seemed like the majority of the advancing Ice Nation warriors were trying to get to her and she was grateful now for the people guarding her. The adrenaline in her body was surging and the events seem to pass by in slow motion.

She heard a few agonizing cries of pain and then from the corner of her eye Clarke just about saw two bodies fall down from the trees to her right. A quick glance towards Lexa showed she and Anya were responsible for their deaths. Both women had thrown a knife at them with skilled marksmanship. Lexa immediately jumped off her horse quickly lifting Aden off and guided him towards Clarke.

"Stay with Wanheda." She ordered him and he seemingly took this as an order because he took a protective stance in front of Clarke and despite the current chaos she found herself slightly smiling at it.

But the smile only lasted briefly as war cries merged with the cries of men and women dying. The remaining two archers were shot down with two deadly accurate arrows. One penetrated one of the Archer's head and the other took an arrow in the heart. Kensi really was lethal with a bow.

The Ice Nation's archer's had killed several of the warriors around Clarke but the ones who remained were doing a great job at defending her from the onrushing Ice Nation foot soldiers. With the archers down she stayed well out of the Ice Nation's reach for now. It didn't make her feel comfortable. She felt like a coward hiding in the shadows while others fought her battles for her. Sure she could join in, maybe with luck and a lot of determination she could take one or maybe two warriors down. However, even though Aden believed otherwise and felt he had to defend Clarke she liked to believe she was looking out for him too. But also for Echo who had been tossed off Anya's horse and her injuries made her too weak to fight at all. Lexa and Anya might not care for her but Clarke knows they need her alive and the medical smarts she had inherited from her mother even made her want to go over to Echo and take care of her injuries, which no one had bothered to do so far. But knowing this wasn't the time or the place she turned her attention to Lexa.

The Commander was currently taking on two Ice Nation warriors. A man and a woman and much to Clarke's surprise Lexa barely had to put any effort in it. Even with the injuries that were no doubt holding her back. She was not even wielding both her swords. Just one in her right hand that she was using to deflect the woman's wild thoughtless strikes. She used her left leg to attack the man's lower legs causing him to eventually lose his balance. The man fell flat on his back, taken by complete surprise at the speed and agility Lexa possessed. The woman continued to strike at Lexa but was clearly no match for her. In a matter of seconds a fierce punch in the stomach made the woman double over, lose the grip on her sword and was unable to stop Lexa from using her sword to slit her throat. As the woman's lifeless and bloodied body slumped to the ground Lexa went down on one knee and took out the man by piercing her sword through his heart before he could get up.

There was no hesitation in her actions, her movement was fluid and quick. They were never going to beat Lexa and actually seeing Lexa fight for the first time left a pleasant and warm feeling in the pit of her stomach. Clarke was grateful for the darkness outside so that no one could see her blush. A blush from watching Lexa fight but also for feeling this way while people around her were fighting and dying. The feeling felt out of place right now but she could do nothing to stop it.

Fortunately for her, but unfortunately for Gia a cry from the young girl was what brought Clarke's thoughts back to the present. She looked up to see an Ice Nation warrior with his sword piercing Gia's right side. The young girl also already had a bloodied nose and a deep cut on her left arm. She collapsed to her knees and Clarke felt her eyes widen in panic when the warrior pulled out his sword and readied himself for the kill. But it never came. Against all odds Gia lunged forward and threw the warrior down with her. They were wrestling now. Knees and fists flying back and forth. Gia was at a disadvantage in several ways and didn't look like she was about to win this struggle.

It also didn't look like anyone could come to her aid. Kensi and Timor were too occupied fighting off Ice Nation warriors to notice, the warriors were too busy protecting Clarke and Anya and Lexa were too far away. It seems that Gia had been too eager to fight and prove herself to everyone, that she had strayed away from task to protect Clarke and was out of reach of even Tys. Tys did see she was in trouble and tried to get to her but he too was kept busy by two men. These two men were at least as tall and muscled as he was and were giving him plenty of trouble.

Clarke could not bear to see the girl suffering and would hate to see her die. She had to help her and knew exactly how to do it. She reached for one of the knives hidden away in her pants and pulled it out. Looking up she now saw the Ice nation soldier straddling Gia, one hand pressed down on her throat and the other hand had his fingers digging in the exit wound at her side and Gia cried out in agony from his ruthless assault. Without thinking Clarke threw her knife in his direction. Praying she would hit the target because she had no skill what so ever at throwing knives and unfortunately her skills reflected perfectly at how poorly it hit her target.

Instead of the blade piercing the man's skin the handle of it just rebounded off his shoulder. However, she might not have hurt him. It was enough to distract him as he looked up in anger to see who was responsible for this. He snarled at Clarke when their eyes met but before he could do anything he tensed up. The expression on his face clearly showed the staggering amount of pain he was feeling from the arrow that had just pierced his neck. Unfortunately for him he did not die instantly. As he fell forward Gia crawled away from him as best she could, he choked on his own blood for several seconds before his inevitable demise.

Clarke looked to see where the arrow came from, Kensi stood atop a small hill roughly 50 meters away looking proud of her shot, and she gives Clarke a subtle nod before turning round to block an incoming attack. The attack was a strong one and the blade of his sword rattled loudly on the handle of her bow. Kensi stumbled backwards from the strike and with no time to line up a shot she grabbed an arrow and stabbed it right in the attacker's groin. With the man in quite some pain and unable to follow through with his attack Kensi swiftly unsheathed her knife and punctured his throat. Clarke decided to look away from Kensi's brutal display of force and redirected her gaze to Gia. She hurried towards the girl immediately, the warriors that were left to still protect Clarke made room for her to pass. Most of the fighting seemed to be over now, she could only hear Anya and Lexa still fighting behind her.

"Gia…" Clarke exclaimed worryingly, kneeling down at the girl's side.

"Wanheda… I…"

Clarke immediately placed two fingers on her lip to silence her. "Hush, Gia. You will be fine, look at me."

Their eyes met and Clarke could see the angst and fear swarming in her eyes. Gia thought she was going to die. No she didn't think she was, she knew she was. But Clarke was about to show her she was wrong. If they were so insistent to call her Commander of death she damn well show them that today she commands death to stay the hell away from Gia. All the other injuries the girl held were insignificant right now. Clarke focuses her attention on the bleeding injury at her side. The bleeding fortunately was already slowing but Gia had lost a lot of blood already due to the wound in her leg. She lifts up her shirt and tries to put her mother's teaching to use as best as she can.

From what she could tell no vital organs have been hit, no organs at all even. The bleeding was already slowing down and the pain would be a lot worse if an organ was harmed. Nor was Gia coughing up blood, it looked to be a good sign. There was always risk of internal bleeding but Clarke couldn't tell right now if there was any. So far Gia didn't give her any indication that there was.

She heard Lexa ordering Timor and some warriors to search the bodies of the Ice Nation soldiers and she ordered Anya to stay with Echo and Aden. Everyone else gathered around Clarke and Gia to see how the girl was doing. Kensi kneeled down beside Clarke holding out fresh bandages, none of them holding the familiar scent this time. She ignored it though and pressed the bandages down firmly to stop the bleeding completely.

The young blonde hissed and bit back tears that were threatening to fall down her cheeks. Clarke saw once again that it was difficult for Gia to control her emotions, it showed she was still early in her training.

"Yu gonplei nou ste odon, Gia." She said and offered the girl a kind smile.

Gia's wanted to thank Clarke but was interrupted by Lexa. "I told you to stay at Wanheda's side at all costs. You bleed because you stopped paying attention to your surroundings and lost track of not only Clarke but also of Tys."

Clarke found herself a little surprised as Lexa scolded Gia. But she knew what Lexa was doing now that Clarke had ensured the girl she was not going to die. Gia had made the mistake of straying away from the group without anyone to back her up. A lesson had to be learned to make it clear to Gia that these injuries could have been avoided had she been more aware of surroundings and not been solely focused on fighting her opponents. Clarke understood the point Lexa was trying to make, but she wasn't done with her speech just yet.

"Do not make this mistake again Gia, next time I will see it as you disobeying my order and I will not be as merciful as I am now." Lexa said, her eyes stoic and voice stern with a slight hint of anger.

"Sha Heda, moba." She said softly, her cheeks reddening with shame.

"Save your strength now. Kensi will take over from Wanheda." She said and switched her gaze to Clarke. "Come, Echo seems to have put her trust in you and I have some questions for her."

Clarke nodded and stepped away from Gia when Kensi took the bandages from her. She followed Lexa, noticing the brunette giving Anya a nod. Anya immediately hauled Echo up on her feet. She still seemed to barely be able to stand as her legs shook and fought to carry her weight.

"Echo." Lexa said and Clarke noticed the tone of anger in her voice. She wasn't surprised to see Lexa didn't slow down until she punched the former Ice Nation spy in her already beaten face. "You said there would not be more than two dozen of them. This was almost double the amount."

Clarke expected Echo to remain silent, like she did before. But she didn't, yet her voice was calm as always.

"I did not lie to you, Heda. It was all I expected… I… it could be that some outposts increased their numbers since Nia took control of Polis… I… " she stopped herself and looked at Clarke, slightly hesitant.

Clarke frowned and saw Lexa doing the same. It was the first time Echo showed any sign of emotion and it was clear as daylight, despite the darkness, that her eyes showed doubt.

"I would suggest you continue saying what you planned to before the Commander hits you again, Echo." Clarke said, hoping the influence she seemed to hold over Echo would get her to talk again.

Echo nodded. "I have been hunted down by Nia ever since you freed me from the mountain, Wanheda. The queen and I had a disagreement. I know many of her secrets, it has been almost a season since the mountain fell, the queen will have changed a lot of patrols, outposts and other information that I could use against her."

"So what you are saying is that outposts could have been increased in numbers?" Clarke asked and Echo nodded.

Anya shrugged at this. "It would make sense. We are on the brink of war. Better supplying outposts is what we have been doing as well."

"It would, yes." Lexa agreed and by the looks of it her anger had boiled down a bit.

"It could mean more of Azgeda will be waiting for us, Heda." Echo immediately said, hoping to at least make up for her earlier mistake.

Lexa shakes her head. "I doubt it. We are in Trikru territory and they already risked going inland unnoticed with a group this big. My scouts would have no doubt noticed them as they know the terrain better than the Ice Nation. All that will be left is a few scouts who remained in the shadows and will be long gone now to report the Ambush failed. Now that they know I am still alive we need to get to TonDC as quickly as possible."

"Sha, Heda. I agree." Anya nodded.

"Will Gia be able to travel?" she asked Clarke.

Clarke nodded. "It will be painful. Bandages will have to do for now but that wound needs to be stitched as soon as we get to TonDC. And that arrow in her leg could be poisoned."

"I doubt it is." Anya said. "This one isn't."

The arrow she smelled had been residing in her leg a few moments ago and pulling it out didn't even make the General flinch.

Lexa nodded. "Good, let's go check on our wounded and fallen warriors and then leave as quickly as possible."

* * *

Her eyes opened slowly, everything was a little blurry but she knew almost instantly she was not in the same place she last remembered. She knew she was still in The Ark but not in her familiar surroundings. After a quick glance around the room it took her very little time to realize she was in med bay

A slight haze of panic rushed over her body. How did she get here? Not on her own. Raven would have rather stayed on the floor of the corridor than come here on her own free will. But then how is she lying on a hospital bed connected to an IV. Raven figured she must have passed out after Nyc left and someone must have eventually found her and brought her to medical.

She cursed out loud. She doesn't want to be here and she doesn't need to be here. And first and foremost there is no need for this blasted needle in her hand. Raven went to pull the needle out but a hand gently placed down on her own to stop her.

"Raven, don't."

Of course it had to be Abby. The older woman probably noticed her waking up and had anticipated Raven's protest at being here.

"Let go of my hand Abby, I don't need to be here I feel fine." Raven snapped as her gaze locked on Abby.

"You feel fine because I put you on morphine, Raven. Your temperature was rising, you were shaking and covered in sweat when you were brought in here."

"And now I am fine again. Abby please."

But Abby refused to listen to her.

"No Raven, now you listen to me. I will never know what it is like to wake up with pain and to go to sleep with pain for the rest of my life. And I can't even begin to imagine the hell you must have been in when I operated on you. But this behavior of yours, Raven, it's not helping you and you are pushing people away. You might not want help and think the pain is deserved but your body can no longer handle it. You are still a human being Raven and just like the rest of us in situations like this there comes a time where your body will no longer listen to your brain and it shuts down. And that is what happened to you last night. If you don't allow your body to rest you are risking your life. You could have a heart attack, your organs can begin to shut down and there is a whole lot more to add to that list. So please Raven, you told me to stop holding a grudge against the grounders to ensure the safety of our people. I am asking you now to stop this foolish crusade of yours. We do not pity you Raven, no one does. We care about you and it won't hurt you or anyone else to listen to your body and let us help you get through the pain as best as we can."

Raven blinked at Abby, completely taken back by her words. She feels her eyes filling with tears and instantly averted her gaze to the ground before allowing the tears to roll down her cheek. She felt defeated. All the agony, all her feelings that she had been digging away in a deep dark corner to be forgotten, now surfaced. She fought to keep them hidden but after Abby put her in her place she could no longer run away from them.

The mechanic knew Abby was right but it was so damn difficult to admit it. Raven had to let go. She had to stop being stubborn and pushing people away like she pushed Nyc's help away not that long ago. Just as she had done with Sinclair whenever he tried to help. Or with Octavia when she offered to go on walks with Raven to get some exercise in. And worst of all the way she had treated Abby whenever the Doctor had tried to convince her to come to med bay.

She pushed them away because Raven made herself believe they did all of this out of pity. But all they did was offering a helping hand because they cared about her. And now that she finally admitted it, it was not them who pitied her, it was Raven who pitied herself and with it pushed everyone who cared away. Raven could no longer hold back her sobs, the tears she let go freely and Abby now noticed that the mechanic was finally giving in. Raven felt a gentle squeeze on her shoulder and a comforting hand on her cheek.

"Oh Raven." Was all she said and then just let Raven cry away all the emotions she had cropped up the last few months.

After a while Raven went to sit up and pulled Abby into a hug. She held on tightly for a few moments and then pulled away, wiping her tears away from her red and swollen eyes. "Thanks, Abby. I think I needed that."

"The hug or the speech?" Abby asked her with a smirk.

"Both, actually." She said, slightly turning to sit on the edge of the bed but with the IV still in place. "So who brought me here?"

Abby went to sit down next to her. "The guards who brought you here said Nyc told them you were feeling sick and where to find you. He said you refused his help."

Raven scoffed at Abby's words. "Why won't he just leave me alone… "

"Raven… " Abby warned her.

But Raven shook her head. "No, Abby it's not like how it is with you and the others. He doesn't know me, I don't know him. We need him, I know. But that doesn't mean I have to become friends with him. That's all there is to it, Doc."

Abby shook her head. "I don't think that's actually it Raven. You like Lincoln and you also don't mind Indra whenever she is here." Raven went to speak up but Abby interrupted her. "Don't worry I am not going to give you another speech. And if it's any conciliation I don't like him either."

Raven chuckled. "Yeah but that's because he was the one who said Clarke is with the Commander and then put all of us in our place for being ignorant." She said. "Come to think of it, I think that offended me a bit as well. Ugh, politics."

"At least he didn't mind waiting another day to leave for TonDC." Abby said.

"What?"

"I told Nyc we are leaving tomorrow so that you can have another day to recover." She said and saw Raven was ready to protest again. "Don't make me give you another speech…"

Raven threw her hands up in defense. "Fine, fine. If I am not allowed to leave this bed until tomorrow, you will have to get me breakfast."

This made Abby smile. "Deal, but it's going to have to be lunch, it's almost noon. And tonight I will remove your IV and put you on pain medication to see how you are going to cope with your leg then."

Raven nodded but realized these meds were only going to be temporary. "You know Doc, eventually we are going to run out of medication, and then we have to start relying on whatever grounders work with."

"Our supplies of medication are one of the few things we are well stocked in. We will be able to manage for at least a year or two before we run out. We don't have to worry about that just yet."

The mechanic nods at Abby. "Yeah let's first get through the winter I guess." She said. "Now, are you going to get me lunch or what?"

The doctor smiled at her. "You wait right here." Abby said and stood from the bed.

"As long as you come back with food, I'm not going anywhere."

Abby rolled her eyes. "Why do our conversations always end with you wanting food?"

Raven smiled. "Admit it Doc, you love me."

* * *

It was good to finally be back at TonDC again. They arrived there just after midday. From that moment Lexa had done nothing else other than hand out orders or receive reports. She ordered Clarke to take Gia to Nyko to have them take care of her injuries. Clarke immediately made sure to point out to Lexa that she needed new bandages too but Lexa brushed her concerns away. There was too much to be done and she would do it later. Clarke knew better than to go against her in front of her own people and accepted it.

Lexa did actually eat and drink something. The last thing she needed was to collapse in front of her own people so she was determined not to make the same mistake again. After their arrival Anya had been more than willing to drag Echo to one of the prison cells. Lexa made a note to have a good talk with her tomorrow morning. If Echo really had no allegiance anymore towards the Ice Queen she should be willing to answer some of the questions Lexa had for her. And if not, well she could always bring Anya over or live up to her earlier promise and have her delivered at Nia's doorstep.

The day had gone by quickly. The sun had already set and the moon shined bright in the night sky. Lexa was now standing in her tent reading through the reports she had received together with Anya.

"If Nyc is coming back with several Skaikru we need to set up sleeping accommodations for them. I assume they will stay here for a day or two." Lexa said.

"We can have Aden and Timor take care of that. It's about all Aden can do until his arm is healed enough for real training. I'll let Kensi know to tell Timor of his orders… " Anya said. "I must say Timor surprises me. He is of the Lake People but his loyalty to you, to us all… let's just say I had my doubts."

"As did I. Kensi chose well. She has… grown."

Anya nodded. "She has."

Lexa cleared her throat before speaking up. "I did not think I would ever see her again. Sending her there was always a risk."

Anya scoffed. "She should not have stopped her reports. To have her join us in the attack on Selin village was a risk, Heda."

Lexa nodded. Anya was right about this and her reasons for doing so had yet to be discussed. Taking care of Colioh and searching for Clarke was the higher priority at that time and thus there had not been a good time to discuss this yet. Despite her efforts to try and impress Lexa and earn back her loyalty, Kensi herself knew her real punishment was still awaiting her. Now that they were back in TonDC, most affairs had been taken care off and tonight will be a good time to get it done.

However, for now she was with Anya discussing the reports and current events so she dragged herself back into the conversation they were having.

"A risk I had to take, she spent four summers there, and we required her knowledge about the Lake People. I sent Indra with her when they left for Selin ahead of us." Lexa said, the tone in her voice slightly agitated.

"Yet you didn't when you sent her to find the Skaigada." Anya said, her eyes cold but Lexa knew she was well aware that she was testing the patience of her Heda.

Lexa refused to give in to her former mentor's stubbornness. "It was a way for her to prove her loyalty to me."

"A test of loyalty over the girl you care for, Heda? What if her loyalty would have been with the Lake People after all, the Skai-"

Lexa's patience had reached its limit. Frustration and anger filled her eyes as she reprimands her General and slams her fist on the table.

"That is enough!" she said angrily. "Continue to question my every word Anya and you'll be back outside on guard duty again!"

Anya lowered her head in submission, realizing she had gone too far. "Moba, Heda. I meant no disrespect. I mean only to look out for you, like I always have."

Lexa swallowed deeply, Anya's words made her icy mask aimed crumble to pieces. "Clarke- You know how I feel… you disapprove." She said softly, her voice slightly trembling.

There was no trace left of the Commander. Right now it was only Lexa who stood in front of Anya. For the Commander Anya is a mentor, a trainer who drilled her so that she could be ready to lead her people. But for Lexa she is so much more than that. Anya is family, a sister that always looked out for her no matter what. Though the moments were rare, Anya could show compassion and love towards Lexa and to think that she would disapprove of Lexa's feelings towards Clarke really hurts her.

"I did not say that." Anya simply said and it made Lexa look up.

"But… how did you even know? You weren't there at the mountain."

Anya smiled. "Leksa. I raised you, I trained you. I can see when you are hurt even when standing guard outside your tent. You think I did not hear you cry and destroy everything breakable in your tent as soon as you returned from the mountain?"

Lexa's lips parted in surprise when she said this. She realized now how badly it hurt her to leave Clarke behind at the mountain. Her mind completely distraught and unaware of her surroundings until she reached her tent and let every bit of emotion flow from her body.

"I… I never knew."

Anya chuckled. "Oh you knew."

And she did, actually. But it was so much easier to pretend not to and being able to avoid this conversation for as long as she could.

"I told the guard next to me that if she ever spoke of it to anyone I'd break her arms and legs and then tie her to a tree near the Pauna's hideout." Anya said smirking.

Lexa couldn't help but chuckle at Anya's successful attempt to lighten the mood. Upon seeing Lexa had relaxed a bit Anya spoke up again.

"She has a really thick skull, that girl." She said.

Another chuckle escaped Lexa's lips. "It runs in the family, be glad you have not met her mother yet."

"That will most likely change tomorrow."

"It will." She said softly, placing the palms of her hand on the table in front of her. "Anya, I care for her. More than anything but, I'm afraid that after betraying her at the mountain she will never feel the same for me-"

Lexa stopped talking, not sure how to continue but the look in her eyes said enough for her mentor to read the message Lexa was trying to get across.

"I know how you feel about her Lexa, I can read you like one of the many books you have. And you are wrong to think the Skaigada will not return those feelings to you one day. It is not my place to tell you that you cannot love her. But as your General I beg you to be careful, should anything happen-"

"It won't. Nothing will happen. I am going to train her, she will be able to defend herself." Lexa said with a strong sense of confidence.

Anya immediately shakes her head. "You cannot say that, Leksa. Anything could happen."

Lexa sighed and nodded. "I am aware of that. But this time at least I can make sure that if something does happen, Clarke at least can put up a fight. Costia… " she swallowed away a painful sting in her heart.

No matter where she was or who she was talking to it still hurt to talk about her.

"She was strong as well, in another way but still strong. As is Wanheda, you chose well but don't tell her I said that."

Lexa had to chuckle at her mentor's words and bit back tears that threatened to surface by clearing her throat.

"Mochof, Anya."

"Pro, Heda."

Lexa closed her eyes for a few moments and forcefully surfaced her Commander mask.

"It's getting late, I should talk to Kensi and handle her punishment before I get some rest, can you go outside and find her for me?"

Anya sighed and she too switched back to her role as General. Her head lowered down as she nodded in respect. "Of course. Good night, Heda."

Lexa nodded back and watched her General exit the tent. As soon as Anya left she lowered her head and dug her fingers on the edge of the table to force away the emotions that were still clawing through her stomach. Grief, love, sadness, anger. They were all fighting each other for dominance and with Kensi arriving soon she had to focus on pushing these feelings away.

It was time to confront Kensi on her silence over the last four summers and there was no place for such emotions while doing so. She decided to focus her attention on one of her scout reports to distract herself. It was the report on Polis. The capital was still being surrounded by the army of Azgeda and its allies. Lexa in turn had her army outside of TonDC though she knew Nia would not start a full scale attack. Especially not now that she lost the support of the Lake People. So far all they will do amongst each other is politics, a really nasty form of politics. One with ambushes, assassinations and manipulations. Now that the Lake People had been taken care of it was time for the next step.

It is time to summon the clan leaders of her remaining allies and form a plan to restore the coalition and get Polis back under her control. Tomorrow she will send riders to each clan to have the leaders escorted to TonDC. She will also have to send riders back to Selin to locate Indra and to tell her to take Colin and Thoni back with her once she makes her return to TonDC. After she has done all that Lexa will do what she had been looking forward to for days now; training Clarke. She already knew where to take her so that they could train in private and what to do on her first training session. Anytime Lexa had a moment for a spare thought she had been planning how to best train Clarke.

"Heda?" Kensi's voice came from outside. "You wanted to see me?"

Lexa cleared her throat, glad at least that all her previous emotions were buried now and the moment of joy she felt at the thought of training Clarke was pushed aside easily. Her mouth formed into a hard line, forcing the features in her face to become unreadable.

"Enter, Kensi." She said as she clasped her hands behind her back.

Kensi immediately entered and went to stand on the other side of the table where mere moments ago Anya had resided. Her head lowered for a few seconds to greet her Commander before her eyes merged with Lexa's, awaiting the words Lexa was about to speak to her.

"Did Anya tell you about Timor's orders for tomorrow?" she decided to start slow, not starting the matter just yet.

Her question was answered with a nod. "Sha, Heda."

"Good." She said and another nod went out to her. "With that settled, you will tell me now why you stopped sending me reports."

It was almost as if Kensi had not seen this question coming. Her lips parted in surprise and her gaze bottomed down to the reports on the table, staring blankly ahead of her. This concerned Lexa, Kensi was always a confident woman and her confidence had only increased during her time spying on the Lake People.. At least that is what she had shown so far. So to see the dark haired woman close down like this was surprising to say the least.

"I gave you an order Kensi, I suggest you do as I tell you."." She said with a lot of authority in her voice.

Kensi sighed and swallowed deeply. When looking back up at the Commander she saw a fierce battle waging in her eyes to try and control her emotions. It really made Lexa wonder why the former spy had so much trouble answering her question.

"It is… complicated, Heda." She said softly.

"Then speak up and explain, this behavior you are showing does not suit you." Lexa exclaimed sounding slightly agitated.

The battle in her eyes continued. Normally the stoic look on her face was almost as perfect as Lexa's but right now she struggled to hold it. Her head going up and down trying to find the right words to answer the Commander who was growing more annoyed every passing silent moment.

"I-I never m-meant for it to happen, Heda." Kensi said, her head lowered and Lexa now saw her eyes watering with tears.

Lexa really wondered what could make a strong, confident warrior like Kensi close down this severely but frankly she had enough of her struggles. Like she had done before earlier today her fist slammed down on the table.

"Hola au, Kensi! Nau!" She said with a lot of intimidation and anger.

Kensi's head immediately jerked up, surprised still for some reason by the anger of her Commander and their eyes now once again were locked together. However, her attempt to fight her emotions failed and a tear escaped her eyes.

"I fell in love, Heda. I know I was not supposed to, but I did; I fell in love." She said, her voice trembling and more tears escaped her lips.

This on her turn surprised Lexa. She had thought of many reasons behind Kensi's silence but love was not one of them. Considering the fact it made her cry at the presence of her Commander, knowing it made her look weak, lead Lexa to believe that the love she had felt did not have a happy ending, something she was more than familiar with.

Maybe this time, there was no place for the Commander, maybe this time Lexa was needed for this conversation, or at least a part of her. "Love works in mysterious ways, Kensi. Sometimes it finds us no matter how hard we try to run from it."

Kensi's jaw almost unhinged at Lexa's words. She expected a reprimand, a punishment even. Instead Lexa showed something the former spy had not seen coming; compassion.

"Heda?" she said confused.

"Before you went on your mission I told you love was weakness. It was… a difficult time for me." She said, trying to sound as confident as she could when referring to Costia's death.

"Costia…" Kensi said softly, slightly nodding.

Lexa nodded back. The day she had given Kensi her mission was just shortly after Costia's head had been delivered to her. Her ways to deal with the loss, with the grief had been to lash out at some people. Kensi had been one of them and Anya and Gustus had to endure a lot as well.

"The last few days before your mission I had not made life easy for you because I was lashing out, directing my grief at others instead of keeping it to myself. That was weakness, Kensi. Something I plan never to show anyone again. Love however, is not weakness. I know this now. If anything it gives you strength. It makes you be a better person, it makes you want to elevate yourself for the person you love. It makes you see things you would never see if you hide from it. So Kensi, if love is what made you stop sending your reports, as Lexa I will hear you out. As Commander, I can already tell you it will not go unpunished."

Kensi just fell silent, staring blankly at Lexa with confusion as she only expected to be punished. What Lexa just told Kensi was more than any warrior could wish for. Seeing the Commander as open as she is now is a courtesy probably only for Anya. To be allowed to speak this way to Lexa no doubt felt like a great honor to her, something she did not see coming and it made Lexa smile.

"Kensi, this offer does not stand forever. Explain yourself."

Kensi made one very deep bow in respect before finally speaking up.

"Mochof, Heda. I know I deserve to be punished but I am honored you will hear my story." She said as another tear trickled down her cheek. "It happened about one season after I had infiltrated Colioh's ranks. She was so beautiful, Heda…"

Her voice trailed off again, her thoughts lost no doubt at the memory she had of this girl.

"What was her name?" Lexa asked Kensi.

"Natshana, because she was born in the moonlight she told me." Kensi stated, clearing her throat, determined not to cry again in front of her Commander. "She was, rebellious. A skilled fighter tasked with scouting. The third report I send you, she discovered me. She'd proved her skills as a scout and I never noticed her following me. She said she'd seen me go out in the early morning once or twice before and was curious what made me go out on an hour where most of the people in the village were still sleeping. I thought she was going to report me, but instead she kissed me and told me she already had a feeling I was a spy, like there was something missing and I didn't really belong there."

Lexa frowned, if Natshana would be a scout that would mean Colioh deemed her loyal enough for it. And someone loyal would have reported Kensi to him.

"Why did she not report you, Kensi?"

Kensi's lips trembled, she swallowed and the attempt to return her expressionless eyes failed horribly.

"Because, she loved me and as you know Heda, Colioh wasn't the greatest of leaders. After some time Natshana begged me to run away with her. Not just from the Lake People but from my duty to you as well. But I could not do that, my duty to you comes first, no matter what. So instead I offered to help her defect, she was hesitant at first about this because of what happened to Aden's parents. But I managed to convince her. I would help her set up stashes along the path to Trikru territory whenever I was out on missions. She would help me send out the reports for you. This all went according to plan, until only about a dozen days remained for my next report."

Kensi took a few moments to catch her breath and gather her bearings. It was obvious at this point it hadn't been that difficult to tell the story, the difficult part was no doubt getting closer though.

"Sometimes when Colioh had dealings with the Ice Nation this young woman would be at the village. A vicious, ruthless, heartless woman, but smart and a very well trained warrior. Her people call her Azripa, the Queen holds her in high regard, even more so than her own son. She never really trusted me. Sometimes she would show up out of nowhere in the hopes to catch me for whatever it was that she could use against me. But you trained me well Heda, I kept my role as a spy hidden from her. But as I said, Natshana was rebellious. Our relationship was hidden, a secret because Colioh would never approve of it. One night we were… intimate in the swamp, I was hesitant about this at first but Natshana could be very convincing. It was the night where Natshana would begin her escape from Selin. She just wanted this moment because I would not see her again until my mission was complete. The Azripa, she must have seen it. Followed me once more without me noticing, I-I was not even aware she was at the village."

The battle to keep her tears caged was hopelessly lost and they flooded from her eyes now as she as she started sobbing, reaching the stage of her story that would be more than painful to tell.

"Moba, Heda… it is… d-difficult to talk about."

Lexa just nodded. "Take your time Kensi, I offered to listen, I will not withdraw that offer now." She said, knowing far too well how difficult it is to talk about.

Kensi looked behind her, hands shaking even in her desperate attempts to stop it and was more than relieved to locate a chair to sit down on.

"W-when Natshana returned to her house to retrieve her pack and get ready to travel, Colioh and the Azripa were waiting for her. We agreed to meet up at the hill outside the village, she never showed. I went to her house to investigate but when I entered the village Colioh's personal guard stopped me and I was ordered to the war room. The Azripa was there, with Collioh and several other guards surrounding Natshana. She was tied to a chair, badly beaten. Cuts and burns all over her body, stripped to only her bindings."

More sobs escaped her lips, more tears flooded from her eyes as she so desperately tried to find the courage to continue speaking.

"I… she… t-they…" Kensi started, Lexa remained quiet and gave her the time she needed to continue her story. "Colioh said that the Azripa claimed we were together and that I helped her plan to defect and that I am a spy. Colioh however, found these claims bold and unbelievable but the Azripa had suggested that if it was the case, if it was all a lie I would prove my loyalty to him by killing Natshana."

Lexa gasped and knew where this was heading. The pain she herself had felt at receiving Costia's head at her bed was unimaginable and something she wished to never have to go through again. But what Kensi was about to tell is a million times worse and she could not begin to imagine how Kensi must have felt at that time.

"N- Natshana knew already her fight was about to end but she refused to let mine end too. She knew my loyalty to you came first no matter what. And worst of all she understood. S-she…" Kensi swallowed away another lump in her throat. "She looked at me as the Azripa placed her knife in my hand. Her eyes only readable for me, Natshana showed me regret, she showed me understanding, she showed me forgiveness and most of all in that look showed me all the love she had given me over the time we had been together. Natshana made the decision for me and accepted her fate. So I did what I was trained to do, I killed her. I pushed the blade into the heart of the woman I loved. I killed Natshana to protect you, Heda. And my hands will forever be stained with her blood."

While Kensi never meant to make it sound that way, Lexa felt guilty. Because of her a woman died. Because of her Kensi had to kill the woman she loved. It was yet another scar to her soul but she knew if she had not sent Kensi there, she would be dead now. Kensi would never have showed up to save her life at the ambush. If Lexa had been killed, Clarke would have been next, Anya no doubt shortly after. Kensi remained loyal to Lexa even when the love of her life was at stake. Lexa suddenly realized that as Commander she wasn't the only one who had to make the impossible sacrifices. Her people were often put in similar situations and she hated herself for forgetting this.

"H-how can love not be weakness after that, Heda? I was trained to serve you and I risked it all for love. How can that not be weakness?"

Lexa swallowed deeply, she had to take a few deep breaths in order to keep her stoic composure.

"Your love gave her the strength to show you forgiveness. It gave her the strength to understand her fight was already over but yours was not. She gave her life to protect yours, to protect mine, to protect our people. And in return her love made you stronger. To be forced to kill the woman you love is a fate worse than any, but instead of breaking down you used this love to remain strong and find a way to live with your pain. As I have after Costia's death. I understand now why you stopped sending your reports. You could no longer do so after the death of Natshana and with the Azripa watching your every move. In the future it could have risked more lives than just yours and mine. Your honesty is appreciated, Kensi"

Kensi nodded. "Mochof Heda, but I cannot-"

Lexa raised a hand, the slight bit of compassion was gone now, she did not wish to do this, but she is the Commander and she could not make exceptions especially not in a time like this.

"I said I appreciate it, but you will still be punished. I told you, Kensi, as Lexa I listened. Now as your Commander I will punish you. You stopped sending your reports, you disobeyed my orders." Lexa said without the slightest sense of hesitation or remorse.

Kensi nodded and stood back to her feet, straightening her back. "I understand, Heda. I am ready to face the consequences of my actions."

Lexa just kept her expressionless eyes aimed at Kensi. There was not even a hint of Lexa left in the conversation, she was only the Commander who was about to punish one of her people for disobeying her.

"Guards!"

In an instant the two guards outside walked inside her tent. "Heda?" they said as they bowed their heads to greet their Commander.

"Relieve Kensi of her coat and weapons." Kensi did not object. She let the guards take her coat and all of her weapons. "Tie her to the tree outside the war room and have someone tell Nyko to bring me the trikova torcha, I will be there shortly."

Not surprisingly Kensi didn't say a word and showed no emotion at the mention of the poison. She just allowed the guards take her away. Lexa took a deep breath. It wasn't going to be the first time she punished someone for their disobedience and it most certainly will not be the last time either but it felt different this time. Just like her, Kensi almost had her life destroyed by the loss of a loved one. While Lexa had Costia's head delivered to her, a dark and heartless act nonetheless, Kensi had to actually deliver the killing blow herself. Much like how Lexa ended Gustus his life, only countless times worse.

While it was years now and Kensi found a way to live with it, she will never forget it. Lexa knows this all too well. And now she had to punish Kensi for it and a part of her just felt amiss about it. But she had to; Lexa could not make exceptions and make herself look weak in front of her warriors. She could not show someone get away with disobedience no matter their standing to the Commander. Just like Anya had received her punishment, Kensi will have to as well.

For Anya, who possesses an unnaturally high pain threshold, humiliation was a fate worse than a thousand cuts. This will not go for Kensi. For Kensi a different punishment was required and Lexa had already decided what it was. She looked down at the dagger tucked away in her belt and traced two fingers over the hilt. Lexa regaining her composure, closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, held it for a moment and let it out, she was the Commander again. But she barely got outside when she saw Clarke standing in front of her, arms clasped together behind her back.

"Maybe you should rethink training Aden, he might consider killing you some day." She said, motioning to the tree where Kensi had been taken.

The two guards were still stood at her side but she hadn't been tied to the tree yet. Instead she was on her knees to level Aden's height and had her hands placed gently on his shoulder in an attempt to talk him down. He looked angry, hands balled into fists at his side.

"Clarke-"

"Lexa," she said softly. "You should know by now things like this no longer offend me. I respect your culture, your laws. I understand Kensi needs to be punished for not reporting back to you anymore. I'm just saying it will affect Aden."

Lexa nodded. "It is the law, I cannot make exceptions, which I am fairly sure Kensi is trying to explain to him right now. Anya will look after him, she is his fos."

She saw how Clarke flinched at that, the look in her eyes showed that she wasn't sure Anya was the right person for Aden to have as a mentor right now.

"Clarke, I wasn't really the picture of patience and obedience when she started training me. I ended up with burns, cuts and bruises more often than I can remember since I was assigned as her second. Anya is a good fos, a good mentor. Do not sell her short, you insult her abilities as a fos."

Clarke cleared her throat, offering Lexa an apologetic look. "You are right, Lexa. I'm sorry it's not my place to judge."

"It's ok, Clarke. Now come."

The blonde nodded and walked towards Kensi at Lexa's side. Aden was now being pulled away from Kensi by Anya so that the guards could tie her to the tree with her hands above her head. Aden didn't object and it looked like Kensi's words had gotten through to him. Anya took him a distance away from Kensi, ahead of a small crowd that was forming now. It was getting late, some people might already be sleeping.

Once Lexa was a few meters away from Kensi she stopped walking and looked up at Nyko as he approached her. "Heda, the trikova torcha you asked for."

He offered her a vial with the bright green looking liquid. She took it from his hand and without hesitating removed the cover to dip the blade of her knife inside of it. Once she pulled it out Nyko took back the vial and all of her attention now went only to Kensi.

The blade of the knife now completely coated with the poison was aimed at Kensi. Kensi's gaze focused on the blade. Her eyes showed no emotions but her pounding chest showed her heartbeat was extremely high, adrenaline was surging through her body. Kensi knew all too well what trikova torcha does to a person, it will be an immensely unpleasant experience. But the former spy knows it is the punishment she deserved. The laws are clear, disobeying the Commander is a great offence. Kensi no doubt knew of the consequences that awaited her after she stopped sending reports, no matter the story behind it.

"Kensi kom Trikru. You have disobeyed my order to report to me during your time among the Lake People." She started, but Kensi did not avert her eyes away from the knife. "For this your punishment will be four trikova torcha cuts. One for each summer you have spent there."

There were soft mumbled whispers coming from the crowd around her but Lexa paid them no heed. She stepped forward, placing the first cut on Kensi's stomach. She knew perfectly how deep to place the blade and how far along to drag it to make sure not to cause any permanent damage apart from the scar. Kensi just clenched her jaw and bit away the pain of the cut. The effects of the poison, Lexa knew, would not show just yet.

Lexa moved on to the next cut. She had done this so many times it became nothing more than a habit. Nothing more than a duty for her as Commander to ensure her people, her warriors would not let her down. Examples had to be made. Yes maybe in the end Kensi never should have fallen in love. If she hadn't the Azripa would never have threatened to expose her, Lexa would have received possible vital reports about the Ice Nation and the Lake People and Kensi never would have to suffer through this punishment.

But to Kensi it was a sacrifice worth making. Because not only had she let down her Commander, the woman she loved was killed by her own hand. If anything, her years as Commander had taught her how to read people. And right now, Lexa knew exactly what was going on in Kensi's mind. Guilt and regret made her believe she deserved every single bit of pain she would soon feel.

But for now she bit away the pain once more as the blade of the knife cut through her thigh. Lexa didn't slow down, the third cut slicing up from below Kensi's right shoulder towards her elbow. The last cut was short but painfully placed on Kensi's left cheek. Every cut bled with a mixture of green and red merging together as it oozed out of the wounds.

Lexa pulled out a piece of cloth tucked between her belt as she paced backwards until she reached Clarke's side. She used the cloth to clean the blade and then placed the knife back in its place at her waist. Kensi's breathing was slowly increasing, meaning the poison was starting to take effect now.

"What does it do?" Clarke asked her.

Lexa kept her gaze on Kensi while she answered. "It amplifies pain. The smallest of cuts will feel a thousand times worse and when it starts to feel like the pain is subsiding she will start hallucinating before the pain returns once more. It will feel to her like she is in a world between life and death. It is why the poison is called trikova torcha. Shadow torturer" she said, providing the translation as well.

Clarke swallowed deeply. "That's-" Clarke couldn't continue what she meant to say as an agonizing cry of pain echoed through TonDC. Lexa could see it sent shivers down Clarke's spine, the blonde clearly flinched at Kensi's cry of pain. "Shit…" she said softly.

"It is a punishment often used for disobedience, defying the Commander is a major offense, Clarke."

But then Lexa realized the horror in her voice was directed at something else once she noticed Clarke was looking at Aden. Anya, probably realizing this might be a bit too much to handle for Aden's broken mind, offered him a chance to step away. An opportunity she would not have granted to a second who had not been through the traumatic ordeal Aden had. But to Aden it was different, Lexa thought it was the right choice made by her General but Aden refused.

He stood tall, or as tall as he could and clasped his hands behind his back in an attempt to appear strong. Not for himself but for Kensi. He wanted to be there for her, he wanted to be strong for her and prove himself. Not for Anya, not even for Lexa, but for Kensi.

"This is, surprising." Lexa said and saw Clarke nod in agreement. "Perhaps his mind isn't as broken as we thought it'd be. The bond he has with Kensi might just be enough to shape him into a fine warrior."

Another scream lashed through the air. With her eyes still focused on Aden she could see he still stood strong, though he blinked a few times to fight away tears. Still, for the first time the young boy actually impressed her.

"Lexa." Clarke said, her voice demanding the brunette's attention and thus she faced the woman at her side before her lips parted to speak again. "For how long are you planning to keep her up there?"

Lexa frowned, wondering what Clarke was aiming at. "The hallucinations will continue throughout the night, in the morning they will eventually disappear. The pain will gradually ease but she will remain for another day or two."

"If my mother and Raven will arrive tomorrow, I suggest you move her at least to a prison cell before they arrive. If they see this…"

Lexa sighed, she had thought of this too. Clarke had adjusted to their culture but Raven and most certainly Clarke's mother have not. Should they see Kensi tied to the tree there, their stay at TonDC will not get off a good start. For Kensi enduring her punishment through the night will have to be enough.

"I agree. I will have her removed tomorrow morning and she will sit out the poison in prison, out of their sight." She said as Kensi cried out in pain once more.

The shouts of pain were becoming more frequent, as Lexa already suspected. Kensi's body was trembling now, sweat covered every visible inch. It would not be long before the scream will slow down for a while and the hallucinations start.

"Get some sleep Clarke, I will too. Kensi is a formidable warrior, she will come out of this even stronger than she already is."

* * *

Lexa was glad to finally be able to lie down on her bed and rest. The last few days had been draining her. It was good to finally be able to catch up on all the sleep she missed and it would also be good for her current injuries to finally have some decent rest at night.

That is, if she could actually fall asleep. Kensi's screams had just stopped and for now she will only suffer the hallucinations. But that wasn't why she couldn't sleep. Lexa is a light sleeper but knowing the source of these screams should put her mind at ease enough to be able to fall asleep. Her mind was definitely at ease but yet sleep did not find her.

She'd lie in all possible positions that were comfortable. Her stomach, back and both her sides. But none helped. The injury in her stomach didn't cause this either. Clarke's stitches had done a great job and she knew the wound was healing nicely. But much to her frustration that wasn't what kept her awake either.

A frustrated groan escaped her lips, trying to figure out the reason behind her failure to fall asleep. Or maybe it was more frustration aimed at her own ignorance because she knew well enough what was keeping her awake. Or rather who was keeping her awake. Lexa could not get Clarke out of her mind. Mere days ago she had no idea where Clarke was or if she was even alive. And now? Now she had the blonde at her side and Clarke had actually forgiven her for abandoning her at the mountain.

Or if Lexa had interpreted her wrong then at least she knew Clarke understood now. And even better Clarke was adjusting herself to their culture, their laws. That combined with her almost full knowledge of Trigedasleng and dressed in Trikru clothing she no longer looked like a girl from Skaikru, she looked like Trikru. She looked like she belonged with Lexa's people. Well almost, because her hair hadn't been braided yet. Clarke still had her hair the way she did when Lexa first laid eyes upon her. And while it looked good on her, Lexa thought it would look even better with braids in it. So tomorrow before training Lexa already knew what she was going to do. She will gather the courage to ask Clarke to allow her to braid her hair and then finally Clarke will look like she belongs among her people. In Lexa's mind she already did belong with Trikru, the traditional braids would just cement the feeling and make Clarke look like a vision of perfection.

With those thoughts she finally managed to drift off into a slumber. It couldn't have been a more perfect way to fall asleep. However, Lexa didn't know for how long she had actually slept but she felt something pull her out of it. It was a familiar feeling but not in a good way. Her body warned her and while lying on her side her eyes shot open again, her sleepy state instantly replaced by awareness and alarm. It was too dark to see but a sixth sense lashed out, warning her, telling her something was very wrong.

There was only a split second to react. Lexa rolled over and raised her right arm, her forearm clashed her attacker's, stopping the incoming blade dead in its tracks. There was a strange scent coming from the knife, it took Lexa no time at all to realize the weapon was coated with poison. The attacker continued to push down. Out of the corner of her eye Lexa saw the assassin's right arm reaching down to her belt, her immediate thought was that it was another knife, and she was right. Her would-be killer pulled out another knife but Lexa managed to grab the arm and stop that blade too. Her fingers dug deep into the wrist but the attacker did not lose the grip and still had the upper hand, knowing the weapons probably didn't need to cause a fatal injury to kill. Lexa was forced to use all her strength just to stop the blades getting anywhere near her skin.

A ray of moonlight shined brightly on Lexa's tent revealing the face of her potential assassin. It was a woman, slightly younger than Lexa. Her hair black and tied together in a bun. Scars covered her face, too perfect to be battle scars, these were done with thought and precision, the female assassin was Ice Nation.

"Azgeda ripa." Lexa hissed, keeping her focus on the two blades threatening to cut her skin.

"Ai na eno yu gonplei, Leksa kom Trikru." The girl said with malice in her voice and a sadistic grin on her face.

Lexa feared she may be right. The Azgeda assassin had the upper hand by surprising Lexa in her sleep. Her strength at the moment was superior over Lexa's. No matter how hard she tried the blades were slowly forced down and the poisoned tips were edging down to fulfil its purpose to end Lexa's life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now who could it be... ;)
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Laudness en Fiyanes – Pain and Compassion
> 
> Yu gonplei nou ste odon, Gia - Your fight is not yet over, Gia
> 
> Hola au, Kensi! Nau - Speak up Kensi! Now
> 
> Natshana - Moon
> 
> trikova torcha - Shadow torturer
> 
> Fos - First
> 
> Azgeda ripa - Ice Nation assassin (Ripa means killer but could not find an actual translation for assassin so I went with ripa.)
> 
> Ai na eno yu gonplei, Leksa kom Trikru - I will end your fight, Lexa of the Woods clan


	6. Ogeda en Soulou

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa's fight against the Azgeda Ripa continue's...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again everyone for your support. I am sorry you had to wait longer than my previous updates this time. Life is keeping me really busy lately. Another long chapter awaits you in return. Please let me know what you think of it and feel free to share any comments or feedback you might have.
> 
> There will be violence, angst and drama in this chapter.

If Lexa couldn't think of something quick to get the woman off of her she would undoubtedly die. She was at a disadvantage with the Ice Nation assassin towering over her. Both of her hands were straining to keep the poison coated blades away from her exposed skin. Lexa had only one option, in a swift and powerful motion she slammed her knee into her attacker's ribs causing the woman to gasp as all the air in her lungs left her body. Her advantage over Lexa faded in an instant, as she lost her grip on her knives Lexa retaliated with a sharp head-butt to the assassins temple. A simple yet effective move.

With the assassin in a mild daze Lexa could feel that she was no longer completely overpowered by the woman, she used the opportunity to throw her off of the bed and stand up . Rubbing her head to fight past the sharp pain from the head-butt, she quickly turned her focus back to the woman who was down on her knees feeling slightly winded from Lexa's knee strike moments ago. She wasn't down for long though, no warrior worth their salt would be from such an attack. In no time at all she was back to her feet, eyes meeting Lexa's as she planned her next move.

Lexa figured the brawl between the two women should have been loud enough to draw the attention of the guards outside, yet neither entered to inspect the noise. She realized instantly that the woman had more than likely killed them. For now she was on her own until a passing patrol discovered the bodies or heard the commotion between the two. Lexa certainly wasn't going to lower herself and call for help, no Commander would ever commit such a cowardly act. With her still being far from fully recovered from her injuries the fight against this woman would take every bit of strength and awareness she could muster. Lexa knew on equal grounds she was at a disadvantage and her fight would be much more than a challenge.

The assassin briefly eyed her lost weapons, they were out of her reach now. Lexa would not allow her to get them back into her possession.

"Those who bring poison to a fight fear they are not strong enough to defeat their opponent." the Commander snarled at the woman.

A wicked smile appeared on the assassins face. A pair of bloodied teeth came into view.

"Oh I wasn't worried about losing, I just wanted to make you suffer."

The woman surged forward; her right fist aimed at Lexa's head, she avoided the strike with little difficulty. A quick sharp strike from the Ice Nation attacker's left fist though caught Lexa by surprise and struck her hard on her cheek causing Lexa to stagger backwards. It seemed that the Commander had slightly underestimated her attacker's dexterity. She regained her footing just in time to parry a kick and evade another punch. Lexa reacted quickly and making good use of her agility she tackled the assassin to the ground.

She landed hard on her back but managed to deliver a sharp kick to Lexa's stomach before she could gain a mounted position over her attacker. This gave the woman enough time to get a bit of space and stand back to her feet and once more the two of them stood face to face, their breathing heavy and eyes intensely focused. From where she was now stood Lexa had a good view of the entrance of her tent, the two guards who were supposed to be stationed just outside were lying dead in a heap just inside, out of sight for anyone not in the immediate vicinity. She wondered why her attacker would take the time to move the bodies inside; anybody walking around with a view of the entrance would notice the guards missing.

"I saw that natrona outside, tied to a tree suffering through your punishment. I always knew she was a spy. It was tempting to kill her first, but watching her suffer is so much better. I'll get back to her once I've dealt with you."

Lexa gasped in surprise. "Azripa…" she said softly.

But loud enough for the assassin to hear. "Well yes that's how everyone likes to call me, but Ontari will be just fine."

Lexa shrugs, that's a name she had heard before. It came back in many reports of the Ice Nation. "You are Ontari?" and her question only received a menacing smile. "I shouldn't be surprised Nia would send her pet to try and kill me."

Ontari chuckled. "Not try, I will kill you." Ignoring the insult of Lexa referring to her as Nia's pet.

Once again Ontari wastes no time; she throws a quick one-two at Lexa, neither punch hitting its mark, followed by a strong knee towards Lexa's ribs but again she successfully blocks the attack. The two women were evenly matched, even with Lexa's injuries; any move either of the women made it was almost always perfectly countered. On occasion an attack would hit its mark but not cause enough damage for either woman to gain the upper hand in their fight. Ontari knew time wasn't on her side; it could be any moment a nearby patrol notices the missing guards from Lexa's tent.

She tried to get under Lexa's skin in an attempt to lower her defenses.

"Or maybe I should let Kensi suffer a bit longer, maybe I should pay that pretty blonde a visit that you were so keen on protecting when my men ambushed you."

Lexa knew better than to let this affect her. If anything it will give her the strength needed to come out of this victorious to ensure Clarke's safety. What Lexa realized was that Ontari had actually been present at the ambush last night. She had remained in the shadows and followed them back to TonDC, somehow sneaking into the village to assassinate Lexa and finish the job that the Ice Nation warriors failed to do.

"She is Wanheda, is she not? The girl that came from the sky and did what you were too weak to do?" she continued her attempt to antagonize her further. "Is she your replacement for Costia?, is that why you refuse to kill her and take her power, hmm?"

Lexa was done listening to Ontari drone on and attacked the young Ice Nation assassin. By doing so she did exactly what Ontari had been provoking her to do but rather than going into a blind rage Lexa kept her focus. However, she started to feel the effects of her injuries, the punches she threw lacked the power to do any serious damage. Meanwhile Ontari looked like she was barely breaking a sweat at fending off Lexa's attacks. Her dark eyes teemed with focus, fixated on Lexa. She took a defensive stance waiting for the Commander to make her move. While her strength was slightly lacking her agility remained and Lexa charged forward, feigning an attack with her left arm but striking with her right she surprised Ontari who couldn't react quick enough to dodge Lexa's fist.

Her fist connected with Ontari's cheek with considerable force causing her to stagger backwards. The Commander looked on as Ontari leaned over to take a few very heavy breaths, blood spewed from the Ice Nation girl's mouth, Lexa gave off the most subtle of grins at the sight before her. She had the momentum now and was determined to take full advantage of it. Stalking forward she delivered a brutal uppercut to Ontari's chin. With her down on her back Lexa readied herself to beat the young woman unconscious; she was too valuable to kill, for now.

Ontari recovered quicker from Lexa's assault than she anticipated. The dark haired woman aimed a very precise kick towards Lexa's knee, strong enough to cause the Commander to lose her balance and land painfully on her back. The advantage was in Ontari's favour again. Lexa let out a soft groan as she landed awkwardly; Ontari raised herself to her knees and delivered a punch at Lexa's temple. The savage punch sent Lexa's vision blurry, darkness threatened to take over . Still recovering from her daze, Lexa was unable to stop the next move of the Azripa.

Ontari seemed to possess a natural sense of how to best hurt Lexa. She used her knee to put a great deal of pressure on the stab wound in Lexa's stomach. The pain snapped the Commander out of her daze and she let out an agonizing cry of pain. She lashed out at Ontari with a flurry of quick attacks but the intense pain she was feeling resulted in her strikes being desperate and weak, Ontari swatted Lexa's attacks away with little difficulty.

"Looks like I found a weak spot." she said, her voice filled with venom and her knee pressing down even further.

Lexa could not hold back a second cry of pain before biting down, her jaw tightening in effort to fight back the pain and one hand clawing at the leg pressing down on the stab wound.

"Fio failing to kill you might not be so bad after all. Now I have the pleasure of hearing you scream before I kill you."

As Lexa suffered, fruitlessly clawing at the knee that continued to pressure her wound Ontari put a hand around her throat, her fingers gradually pressed down harder and harder until the Commander was gasping for what little air she could breathe. With one hand still trying to get Ontari's knee off of her wound Lexa was using her other to try and ease the Azripa's grip from around her neck. Ultimately her attempts were weak and futile, her original injuries combined with the agonizing pain and now lack of oxygen left her strength severely diminished.

Lexa was powerless, the pain in her stomach and throat weakened her too much to come up with a way to escape Ontari's grasp.. Lexa thought maybe for the first time in her life she was afraid. She didn't want to die, not now that she finally had Clarke back with her. But even the thought of those beautiful blue eyes and flowing blonde locks were not enough to give her the strength to fight back anymore.

Ontari was in control and Lexa could not do anything to stop the dark haired woman from killing her. Luckily for Lexa her cries of pain had been heard. Which Ontari must have realized because she increased the pressure on Lexa's throat. But it was already too late for Ontari, her attempt to kill Lexa had failed.

"Heda! Setnes! Setnes!" a not too distant voice filled her ears, it sounded like Timor's voice.

She could feel that his voice caused Ontari to loosen her grip. The Azripa looked up to see a young boy charging at her. She stood up and delivered a hard kick to the boy's torso causing him to drop to the floor in pain. Realizing guards would be there in mere seconds she had only one option.

"Nodotaim" she snarled at the Commander.

Ontari made her escape through the same hole in the back of the tent that she made to enter, leaving Lexa on the brink of unconsciousness. She lay there motionless just staring at the top of her tent. Her vision blurry and breathing heavy, every breath she took her awareness returned.

Moments later five guards rushed into the tent, two immediately went to the hole Ontari had made, two remained just inside the front entrance and one attended to Lexa. The guard seeing to the Commander helped her sit up, she groaned in pain. Still breathing heavily and coughing up a little blood every now and then she took to her duties.

"Have Kensi guarded, five warriors." she said still coughing, placing a hand at her throat on an attempt to ease the pain. From what Lexa had learned of Ontari she wouldn't get it past her to try and kill Kensi before escaping TonDC, Lexa had to make sure she stays alive.

"Check on Timor" Lexa ordered the guard that helped her sit up.

"I'm fine, Heda" he replied sounding slightly winded.

"Where is A-"

"Leksa!" Anya's voice could be heard outside the tent, a moment later she was inside down by Lexa's side with a mixture of mild concern and anger on her face.

With the Commander's concern for Anya alleviated her thoughts quickly turned to Clarke. However her worry faded in no time when she saw that radiant blonde hair appear from behind Anya. The Sky Girl could not hide her concern for Lexa though, it was evident. She knelt down beside the brunette next to Anya and her instincts took over, she attempted to examine the Commander's injuries.

"Clarke I-" Lexa spoke up, trying to assure Clarke that her injuries were not that severe and that she would be fine. Clarke would have nothing of it

"No you're not fine." Clarke said with a stern look on her face.

"Who did this?" Anya asked as Clarke lifted up Lexa's blood stained shirt to inspect the injury.

"Shit." Clarke muttered as Lexa answered Anya's question. "Azgeda, Ontari."

Anya's eyes widened in disbelief at first, and then they went dark with anger. "Heda please let me-"

Lexa already nodded. "She escaped at the back, if she's smart she will head North, that part of TonDc is still damaged from the missile, easiest for a warrior of her skillset to sneak through and it's the quickest road to Polis. Go Anya, take Timor with you but I need her alive."

Anya was already on her feet and used the exit Ontari had created to run out of Lexa's tent and Timor was right behind her. Just as they left Tys came running inside, looking worried but relieved to see Lexa's eyes wide open and filled with relief to see him enter.

"Heda, you're alive." he said.

Lexa shrugged. "It's not the first time someone has tried to kill me in my sleep, Tys."

"I am aware Heda, moba I did not mean to insult you."

"You did not Tys." Lexa said, she flinched when Clarke's hands lightly pressured the wound on her stomach.

"Tys help me get her on the bed."

He stepped forward and knelt down but Lexa put up a hand. "I don't need help, I can stand on my own" but when she glanced at Clarke she knew the blonde wouldn't take no for an answer. The stubborn expression was clear as daylight, Lexa knew that there was no point in trying argue and with only Tys present she gave in to Clarke's demand.

Lexa gave Tys an unimpressed glare as he seemed slightly amused at the situation but she soon showed a small smile of her own as he gently placed the Commander on her bed. "Never go against a healer who commands death, Leksa" he teased as he stepped back to make room for Clarke who had gathered supplies to once again take cake of Lexa's injuries.

"A mistake I will try not to make again, Tys." Lexa joked as she glanced at Clarke.

Clarke shook her head in disbelief. "That's not funny, you could have died if Timor hadn't shown up." she said in an agitated tone as she cleaned away the blood from Lexa's stomach.

Timor saved her life, Clarke was right about that. Lexa reminded herself to commend him on his actions. Kensi really had chosen well to have him as her second.

"Clarke, like I told Tys, It's not the first time an assassin has tried to kill me in my sleep." she said, trying to reassure the blonde.

But Clarke shook her head. "Look at what she's done to you, your neck is almost completely bruised, your eyes are bloodshot, your wound needs new stitches and you're sitting here all calm as if nothing happened."

Lexa knew she was right, but she also knew not to dwell on it. It wasn't the first time she had been in that situation and it would definitely not be the last. But Clarke wasn't was used to it yet in the same way Lexa was, she didn't share the calm state of mind of the Commander.

"I'll be fine, Clarke. I've had worse."

It didn't make Clarke feel any better. "Yes you did, not that long ago that's why I need to redo these stitches." she said slightly agitated and in her annoyance the cleaning she was doing on Lexa's wound was becoming a bit too rough. Rough enough to cause Lexa to flinch.

So Lexa gently placed her hand on top of Clarke's to stop her from harshly tending to the wound and force her to look Lexa in the eye. "Klark, beja…" she said softly.

The soft tone in Lexa's voice, the gentle touch of her hand on Clarke's and the switch to Trigedasleng caused Clarke's lower lip slightly tremble. She found herself unable to look away from Lexa, the look on her face as gentle as the touch on her hand.

"Ai get em in, Leksa… ai jos… yu mous wan op."

Lexa couldn't avert her eyes from Clarke, the concern she showed struck her and made her heart skip a beat. The fact that Tys was still with them was completely forgotten until he cleared his throat and went to leave the two women alone.

But the slight noise he made had already been enough to pull the two women away from their thoughts, Clarke looking down at her hands and Lexa directing her eyes at Tys.

"Before you return to your home, Tys, go see Kensi, take her to the prison next to Echo."

Tys offered her a look of disbelief. "Heda, you are showing her leniency, she should sit out her punishment." he said not because he wants to see Kensi suffer, but because Tys is a firm believer in Lexa's laws, and doing this is not as the law says it.

Lexa shook her head. "It is not leniency, Tys. It is politics." she said.

His eyes widened suddenly, realizing his error. "Skaikru…" was all he said.

"I should not have to tell this to a man of your wisdom. Your mind is clouded, once the poison has left her body you should talk to her, Tys."

Tys shook his head. "Heda, I am not sure she-"

Lexa held up her hand to silence him. "I'll make it an order then, listen to your Heda and go talk to Kensi."

It startled Tys but he did not object. Instead his head dipped once and then he left the two women alone. Their moment of affection had been interrupted by Tys and Lexa just sat in silence while Clarke was making good work of stitching the stomach wound again. In a short matter of time it was all stitched up and Clarke went to sit beside her on the bed, searching for Lexa's eyes and ready to finally break the silence between them.

"I noticed Tys giving Kensi a few concerned looks right before we were ambushed. Is he her father?" Clarke asked, not worried at all to show her curiosity.

Lexa wasn't bothered by the question and decided to answer her. "No." she said, shaking her head. "Not by blood anyway." she added.

"But close enough, then?" Clarke continued asking.

Lexa nods at her question. "Tys and her father were very close friends. They were together on a mission when Kensi's father was taken by the Mountain Men. Tys felt responsible, Kensi was only ten years old back then and Tys did his best to look after Kensi and her mother ever since." she explained.

Clarke narrowed her eyes at Lexa, she could tell that wasn't the entire story. "Something tells me that's not all that happened." the blonde said.

Lexa shook her head. "It was not, no. Kensi's childhood was, difficult, it would have broken the mind of many children, it almost did hers, too." Lexa explained.

"What happened?"

Lexa swallowed deeply, it was a sad story to tell, even for Lexa. She realized suddenly that Kensi had a lot of setbacks in her life. First her parents and then later the girl she met at Selin Village. Yet Kensi had, after a lot of hard work, came out of all of it stronger. Even after what happened at Selin Kensi remained strong and did not show the scars she had received over the course of her still young life. It was impressive and she wondered if Clarke thought the same as she started telling what happened after Kensi's father died.

"About five winters after the death of Kensi's father, her mother and Tys took her out on a scouting mission, a lesson for Kensi on scouting tactics. It turned out to be the worst day of her life and that of Tys, probably. They were attacked by Reapers, vastly outnumbered and did not stand a chance. They tortured all three of them, did horrible unspeakable things, mostly to Kensi's mother. I'd sent Anya out to search for them, once I realized they were missing. By the time Anya arrived it was already too late for Kensi's mother, she was long gone, but she was in time to save Kensi and Tys, who were in quite bad shape too. Kensi was in shock, she didn't speak for days, barely ate and drank but the death of her mother was not the only reason for this."

Lexa saw Clarke frown in confusion, but the blonde remained silent to await the remained of Lexa's story.

"One of the reapers who tortured them." Lexa inhaled before speaking up. "It was her father."

Clarke's eyes widened in pure horror, hand covering over her mouth as she breathes out the words "Oh my God." Words, Lexa remembers, sky people often used when they were struck by awe or surprise. "How is Kensi still a sane human being after that? Not that I want to sell her short of anything, but Lexa, that's horrible and not something anyone should endure, especially not at an age that young."

Lexa nodded in agreement. "True, as I said, Kensi was in shock after that. Tys had tried his best to help her recover. She eventually did, after volunteering for the mission at Selin i sent her to. The training she received for that made her stronger but her bond with Tys, never was the same again. She ignored him, focused only on her training no matter what he tried."

Clarke narrowed her eyes. "Because of the Reaper version of her father, her mother died. It all leads back to that day where Tys couldn't save her father. She blames Tys for everything."

Lexa nodded. "Yes, but that was before she left for Selin Village. I truly believe Kensi changed in the time she spent there. But Tys is reluctant, cautious, he does not believe she forgives him."

"Has he forgiven himself?" Clarke asked and Lexa raised her shoulders, unsure of the answer to that question.

"If he hasn't, I am sure her forgiveness will help him heal as well." Lexa answered back.

"From how I've gotten to know Kensi so far, I think she will."

Lexa completely agreed. "In time, they will forgive each other. In my eyes, there is no blame, but I will leave that for the two of them to find out."

Lexa looked at Clarke, she looked tired and Lexa probably looked the same, if not worse after the events of the day. Nothing she couldn't handle and wouldn't be healed in time. They both should get some rest, with Skaikru arriving tomorrow it will no doubt be another long day. A stressful day for Clarke no doubt to be face to face with her people again, with her mother.

"You should go back to bed, Clarke, get some rest. I will come see you at dawn and we can begin your training." she said and Clarke picked up on the slight hint of excitement that Lexa held in her voice.

The way her eyes lit up at the mention of her training showed Clarke was looking forward to it as much as Lexa was. It made Lexa smile and warm feeling in the pit of her stomach started rising. Clarke smiled back at her while standing up from the bed.

"Reshop, Heda."

"Good night, Clarke."

* * *

Clarke had woken up well before dawn. The events of last night and the knowledge of finally getting to train with Lexa had kept her up. She did fall asleep at some point, but it couldn't have been more than two or three hours later that she woke up and couldn't fall asleep again. Still, in total she must have gotten about five hours sleep, that was more sleep than she had gotten in the two or three days prior. She definitely felt better compared to those days and Clarke was glad she managed to get some hours in before coming face to face with her mother again. She knew perfectly well that reunion with her mother would no doubt end in a heated discussion. Clarke smiled as she wondered if her mother would be shocked seeing her in the grounder outfit Lexa gave her.

One set of clothes won't cut it though, she made a mental note to ask Lexa for some more clothing later today. But right now she was sitting on the edge of her bed, waiting for Lexa to arrive. It couldn't be that long anymore, the sun was starting to rise. Her thoughts drifted off to yesterday after arriving at TonDC. She had taken Gia to see Nyko to look after her injuries. In the end Clarke's assessment of the young girl's injuries had been correct, nothing vital had been hit and there was no internal bleeding. So Clarke had stitched the wound at her side while Nyko tended to her other injuries.

Gia's only problem is that she had difficulty following Nyko's orders of resting for a few days and that meant no training. She lived up to how Lexa described her character; excited and over eager. Clarke was glad though that Gia heeded the warning she gave the girl about the possibility of internal bleeding and organ damage if she didn't give her body a few days rest. Clarke really likes Gia and she was glad that she didn't die, no life should end at that young age.

After taking care of Gia's injuries Clarke had taken it on herself to at least give Echo's injuries minor treatment. She didn't really get far before Anya came bursting into Echo's cell and ordered Clarke to leave, reminding her she was going against Lexa's orders. Clarke argued that Lexa had not ordered her to leave Echo alone and that only increased the anger in Anya's eyes and she probably was very close to hitting some sense into Clarke. She felt nerves rising into the pit of her stomach when she even saw Anya ball a hand into a fist.

Angering Anya really wasn't a wise thing to do. When making their escape from Mount Weather Clarke had actually beaten Anya in the fight they had then, it was only due to exhaustion and blood loss on Anya's part. But now Clarke knew she wouldn't stand a chance so she accepted that fact and left with Anya's burning eyes in her back. But Clarke couldn't help but feel sorry for Echo, maybe she didn't deserve it, Clarke didn't know what exactly her crimes are. All she knew is that Anya absolutely despises her and loves to keep reminding Echo of this.

Suddenly a familiar and very welcome voice put her train of thoughts to an abrupt stop.

"Clarke?"

Lexa didn't walk in, respecting Clarke's privacy and waited for her to answer. "You can come in, Lexa."

With the words barely spoken Lexa walked inside. The first thing Clarke noticed was that she wasn't wearing her usual Commander outfit. The coat wasn't present. She was only wearing a long sleeved dark grey shirt. It fit perfectly around the curves of her body, showing off her slightly muscled arms. Her dark green colored pants seemed to fit just as perfectly and were tucked neatly inside her black boots. She had one sword resting behind her back and her hair was neatly held back in the familiar combination of braids.

Dressed like this Lexa certainly looked like a force to be reckoned with. Clarke just silently stared at her for several seconds, her eyes slowly moving up and down Lexa's figure, she realized she had been doing this quite a lot as of late. She knew the feeling that came with it; it was definitely more than just friendship. It was an ever growing feeling ever since Lexa kissed her. And then the betrayal at the mountain followed and that feeling shattered into a thousand pieces.

Those pieces had been slowly healing over the course of the last few days. Clarke tried to fight it. She tried to be stubborn and ignore it. Lexa broke her heart because she chose to save just her people over both their people. Trying to think and act with her head over her heart she did her best to pretend the events at Mount Weather still troubled her. But ever since they almost kissed in Selin Village Clarke came to realize it is pointless to fight back the feelings she held for Lexa. Dwelling on the chance of that happening again was fruitless; Lexa had made it clear she would always put her people's needs first. Even knowing this Clarke kept feeling that welcome warmth in the pit of her stomach at the sight of Lexa. She had to admit to herself she cared deeply for Lexa.

"Are you alright, Clarke?"

The blonde realized she must have drifted off and Lexa obviously noticed. "Hmm, yes I'm fine, just… thinking about seeing my mother again." she lied. Well she had been thinking about her mother, just not at this moment so it wasn't a complete lie.

Chances are Lexa might even see right through it. But if she did she didn't call Clarke out on it. "You're nervous." she stated.

"I am. I just know we will end up in some kind of disagreement, but, I really don't want to talk about her right now, I'll just see how it goes when she get's here."

Lexa nodded. Clarke saw her lips part in an attempt to say something to her but they sealed back together again after a few hesitant seconds. The blonde frowned as she saw Lexa do it again and then clearing her throat. It forced a slight smile onto her lips, something was on Lexa's mind and she was trying to gather the courage to speak about it to Clarke. It amused her that sometimes there wasn't a single trace of the strong and ruthless Commander she can be sometimes. Seeing Lexa still struggling to find the right words and speak up, Clarke decided to break the silence first.

"Just say it, Lexa." She said and smiled when Lexa looked at her with a slightly startled pair of green eyes.

"What?"

"Something is clearly on your mind."

"I-uhm, your hair…" she started and cleared her throat. "When fighting, the way you wear it now it will be an obstacle. If you like I can braid it back for you so that it won't bother you while we train."

The words made Clarke grin. "So is that the only reason why your people braid their hair, or is there more to it in your culture?"

"There is no cultural history for this no, I believe it simply has become a habit for us. Is there something in your culture about the way you have your hair?"

Clarke shook her head. "No. Not that I know off at least. Unless I missed some sort of memo while I was in prison."

Clarke saw Lexa's eyes turn confused. "A memo?"

The blonde chuckled at her confusion. "Never mind." she said standing up from the bed. "Where do you want me?"

Lexa gasped slightly. "What?"

Clarke felt her cheeks heating up, realizing what she just asked Lexa. "No. I meant… where do I need to sit so you can braid my hair?"

"Oh. Just sit on the chair Clarke, this won't take long."

Clarke nodded and refrained from laughing at Lexa's current uncomfortable state. It was nice to see this side of her. The Commander role was set aside right now and only an innocent and mildly insecure Lexa was with her.

Lexa stepped behind Clarke as soon as she sat down on the chair. Goosebumps ran rampant through her body as Lexa ran her fingers delicately through the blonde locks. About a minute in and Clarke had begun to regret allowing Lexa to braid her hair. What she was feeling, she had felt it before, back in Selin Village. Back when they were alone, fingers interlocked staring into each other's eyes. She could feel herself becoming flustered.

With each graceful touch the Commander made through her hair, the feeling amplified. Clarke closed her eyes, contemplating whether to fight away the feeling. She took a moment to imagine what could happen if she was to act on her feelings and Lexa was someday forced into a decision to determine the fate of her people. It could be Mount Weather all over again, the feeling of betrayal and heartbreak, but possibly worse. But she couldn't imagine it, her heart was winning this fight and it was removing all worry from Clarke's mind. She realized at that moment that running away from these feelings was hurting her more than anything would by acting on them. She knew the risks. At moments like that for Lexa it would always be head over heart for the Commander.

She swallowed away the last lump of doubt stuck in her throat and noticed Lexa stepping in front of her. The brunette had a gentle smile on her face as she spoke up. "See, I said it wouldn't take long."

Clarke took her hands and let them slowly glide down the braids Lexa had made. She felt three braids perfectly placed next to each other, not all of her hair was braided just enough to stop it falling in front of her eyes. She looked up at Lexa with a smile on her face, her piercing green eyes lit up at Clarke's expression. She walked over to the nightstand beside Clarke's bed and pulled something from one of the drawers. She returned with a piece of a broken mirror and handed it to the blonde.

Clarke positioned the mirror so that she was able to see the braids and how they looked from various angles. The hair Lexa had left out of the braids cascaded over her shoulders and down her back showing that it would certainly not hinder her vision. Lexa had done a wonderful job and the expression on the blonde's face showed she was ecstatic with the result.

"Lexa, this looks amazing, how did you do this all so fast?" she asked while running her hand over the braids once more.

"Years of practice Clarke. Before my years as Commander I actually had my hair in a similar fashion." she said and then a slight hint of sadness flashed through her eyes. "I-I used to braid Costia's hair whenever she was with me…"

The sadness in her eyes was replaced by a content look. Lexa spoke of a past memory that once hurt her to talk about, but Clarke saw that she had given the loss of her former lover a place that allowed her to move on and talk about it with a little more ease now. Still Clarke felt like she should comfort Lexa and reached for her hand, linking their fingers together.

"Lexa…" she spoke up to try and comfort her.

Lexa looked at her, shaking her head. "I'm fine Clarke, really." Clarke nodded and Lexa untangled their hands taking a step back, away from Clarke's personal space but Clarke couldn't help but feel sad about it. "We should probably get going and get your training started before your mother arrives."

But as Lexa meant to step away Clarke reached for her wrist, pulling the brunette back into her personal space. Lexa let it happen. Her wide emerald eyes locked on Clarke, curious at what the blonde was up to. The delicate fingers that had been gently wrapped around her wrist were released and Clarke's hand now reached of to Lexa's neck, fingers tracing the bruised marks that indicated she had been viciously choked recently. The blonde saw her touch made goosebumps appear on her skin.

"How's the pain?"

"Bearable."

Naturally she'd say that. Lexa wouldn't admit that it hurt more than she let on.

"Was the assassin found?"

"No, Anya returned just before I came to you. She had a head start, going after her was a long shot."

Clarke wanted to ask if it was still a good idea to start training with her injuries but she knew exactly what Lexa would say, truthful or not, so she put the thought in the back of her mind. She swallowed deeply as her gaze went from inspecting the bruising around the brunette's neck up to her beautiful full lips. They parted slightly and quivered as Clarke's hand gently wrapped itself around the back of Lexa's neck, pulling her closer until their lips softly coupled together. She felt Lexa stiffen with surprise at first; Clarke could sense hesitation within her. She lightly cupped her cheek with her other hand, her thumb delicately rubbing Lexa's smooth skin. Clarke backed away from the kiss for a brief moment; her sparkling blue eyes met Lexa's piercing green eyes. They were wide from surprise, wide from a desire that begged for it to be embraced and that is exactly what Clarke did.

This time Lexa didn't hesitate. This time Clarke felt their lips merge together again and it made her feel like everything around them was forgotten at that very moment. She felt Lexa's hand connect with the back of her head and the other hand found its way onto her hip. It was Lexa now who slowly dragged her tongue across Clarke's lower lip. It was a request, it was her way of asking Clarke permission to deepen the kiss. Clarke did as Lexa asked of her, opening her mouth and letting their tongues dance together as the passion of the kiss was rising with each second.

She heard Lexa moan, her hands now both sliding up and down Clarke's back as they continued the kiss. Nothing else mattered right now except for the moment of passion the two shared together. Minutes had passed by when Clarke finally pulled back, her forehead resting against Lexa's, her eyes remained closed as she let the kiss and everything she was feeling sink in. There was no going back now, Clarke had initiated the kiss this time. There was no regret, she didn't care about the consequences it could hold. They kissed and Clarke loved every moment of it.

And as she opened her eyes and they met Lexa's. They were glistening, full of elation but a subtle sense of concern also seeped through.

"Clarke, are you sure-"

Of course she was sure and she quickly placed two fingers on Lexa's lips to silence her. Clarke grabbed Lexa's hand, interlocking their fingers and keeping her blue eyes locked on Lexa's. "I am sure, Lexa. God knows I've tried to fight it, I've tried to be angry at you but I can no longer do it. You've turned my world upside down Lexa, in so many ways you can't even imagine…"

"But what if I have to make a crucial decision again?"

"Please Lexa, stop worrying. I kissed you, we kissed. Nothing else matters, alright?"

And then the doubt in her eyes faded and her lips showed a slight smirk. "Alright." she said, reaching for Clarke's hand and lifting it up to her lips, kissing it gently before returning to the blonde's lips. The kiss only lasted a brief moment this time but it still made her heart flutter.

"Shall we start your training now, Clarke?" Lexa asked as she pulled away from the kiss.

Clarke smiled. "Yes, I've actually quite been looking forward to it." she responded.

"So have I Clarke. So have I."

* * *

Lexa looked on intently as Clarke surveyed the ruins around them, only a few structures remained of what was once likely a part of a city. The Commander favoured this place; Anya would occasionally bring her here for training when she was still her second. Nature had reclaimed the land, trees and moss had grown in and around the cold hard concrete. A few obstacles had been built on the land by her own people. A bridge over a ravine with part of the center missing. Creating a gap that would require an impressive leap to cross, failure to clear the gap would result in a hard fall into the dried up mud below.

Her eyes now fell to a barbed wire covered wall. Lexa remembered this obstacle all too well; it had given her many cuts during her training days. Anya would have her climb it over and over until she was able to do it quickly without sustaining a single cut; her way of honing Lexa's natural agility. She was only thirteen summers old when she first climbed it but she wasn't about to put Clarke through it right away. Only six summers had passed when Lexa began training herself, though just the basics, the real training began once she became Anya's second. Clarke however, had never trained before. Any sort of training like this was out of the question for her. The basics would be their first step.

Clarke spoke up causing Lexa to divert her eyes from the wall and the memories it held and locked them on the blonde. "Despite all these destroyed buildings, this place looks intriguing. I could spend days in here with my sketchbook, if I still had it." she said, the enthusiasm in her voice lowering a bit at the realization that she didn't have a sketchbook anymore.

"I did a lot of training here with Anya." Lexa said, pointing at the wall with the barbed wire. "You have no idea how many times she made me climb that wall, I hated it. She had me climb it to increase my strength and agility but I'm fairly sure in my first few seasons as her second she used it as a punishment as well. I was as stubborn as an Ox, convinced that I already had the skills needed to become Heda."

Clarke looked at the wall with her eyes slightly widened. "You're not going to make me climb that wall, are you?" she asked worried.

Lexa smirked. "Not yet, no."

"Not yet? That doesn't really make me feel better."

The smirk turned into a chuckle. "Clarke, you have never been trained to fight. Your time on the ground has made you stronger but you still lack a lot of strength and stamina. Having you climb that wall, run this entire course, you are not ready for that. But yes, you will run this course eventually and thus climb this wall."

Clarke swallowed deeply and eyed the wall. Lexa pulled her attention away from it by unsheathing her sword and stepping next to Clarke, holding it out for her. "Take my sword." she said holding the handle out for Clarke to grab it.

"Hold it up in front of you, with both your hands on the handle." Lexa gave another instruction, Clarke followed it once more.

Lexa immediately saw Clarke's first mistake. "You are left handed Clarke, switch your hands around." she said.

Clarke frowned. "Really? It feels weird holding it like that."

Lexa ignored her question and started walking around her. After reaching Clarke's back she stepped towards the blonde and Lexa placed her hands on Clarke's elbows, motioning her arms upwards a bit and then reaching over Clarke's hands on the handle, lifting the sword upwards a bit more.

Pulling back her hands, they now landed on Clarke's hips. She felt the blonde's body stiffen a little at the touch on her hips. Lexa did her best to ignore the fact that her own body temperature was rising too at the touch. "Your legs need to be further apart." she said, clearing her throat and nudging Clarke's legs with her own until they were in the right position.

She quickly pulled her hands away and stepped in front of Clarke again. Studying the blonde once more, she was content now with Clarke's stance and the position of the sword.

"Good, now attack me."

Clarke's eyes widened at this. "What? Lexa you don't have a weapon, I-" the blonde stopped herself there, realizing her mistake. "Right, I probably won't even hit you, will I?"

The worry in her voice made Lexa smile. "No, you won't." she said.

Clarke immediately put it to the test and almost lunged the sword at Lexa. As both women predicted, the Commander easily sidestepped the attack and the blade hit nothing but air. Her attack was without thought and Clarke used nothing but uncontrolled strength. It almost made the Sky girl stumble forward.

WIth the palm of her hand gently landing on Clarke's shoulder she pushed her back. "Again, get back in the right stance first." she said.

Clarke nodded and held up the sword again while positioning her feet the way she remembered. "Good, the stance is good but hold up the sword a bit more." Lexa instructed and watched as the sword moved upwards in Clarke's hands. "That's it, hit me again."

And she did, equally as bad. This time Lexa wasn't as merciful and didn't just sidestep the attack. She grabbed hold of Clarke's wrist, pushing the sword away and wrapped one leg around Clarke's leg. Before Clarke could react, she lost control of the sword and fell flat on her back with a loud thud, making her groan in pain.

"Lexa!?" she said slightly agitated, not expecting Lexa to be this violent.

"Clarke." she simply answered and held out her hand to help Clarke get back on her feet.

The blonde accepted it, but she still held a scowl. "Did you have to throw me down that hard? What does this have to do with stamina and strength anyway. I thought you said I had to improve that first before anything else."

Lexa clasped her hands behind her back, her eyes locking on Clarke with serious intentions. "You accepted my offer to train you. That means I will take this seriously. Training isn't going to be easy, Clarke, I can't hold back. It's hard work, you will end up with bruises and cuts and on many days it will be exhausting. Learning how to hold a sword, learning how to fall, no matter how basic they are all part of making you stronger. But I never said this was going to be easy, if you think you are not ready for it Clarke you have to speak up now. If not then there is a long and painful road of training ahead of you. It's hard work but I have faith in you Clarke. I believe you can become a very skilled fighter, but you have to want it, otherwise it will be pointless to train you."

Clarke swiped the dirt of her clothes while she watched Lexa hold out the sword for her once more. She saw her blue eyes lock on it, thinking through her options and then she reached for it. "You're right Lexa. I want to stop relying on a gun and actually be able to fight. Watching you all fight at that ambush, it made me feel so useless and powerless. I'll accept whatever you throw at me, I'm ready. I want this."

Her proud smile showed Lexa was glad by Clarke's decision. "Alright then, let's get started."

* * *

Raven frowned when she spotted Octavia standing at the gate. She was dressed in the grounder outfit she used when she was training under Indra. She was dressed for traveling and even had her sword sheathed away in the scabbard on her back. Her arms were folded and the look on her face showed determination. Raven couldn't help but smile when she realized why Octavia was standing there. She wants to go with them and while that was fine with Raven, she was fairly sure Abby might object to this. This was going to be interesting, especially when she looked up at Abby and already saw the older woman noticed why Octavia was standing there too.

Once they were close enough to the gate Octavia stepped forward, ready to confront Abby. "I'm coming with you." She said confidently.

Abby already shook her head. "I don't think so Octavia. The deal we made with Nyc was only for me and Raven to come back to TonDC." She said.

"Well we can ask him if it's okay for one more to tag along, can't we? Will one more Skaikru really be that bad?"

Raven nodded in agreement. "She's got a point, Abby. I don't see any harm in Octavia coming with us."

Abby scowled at Octavia, narrowing her eyes. "Why do you want to come with us, Octavia? This is about Lincoln, isn't it?"

Raven saw Octavia nod at this. Of course it was about Lincoln. Lexa had placed a kill order on him after he refused to come back with her at the mountain.

"Yes it is about Lincoln. He doesn't belong here. Hell I don't belong here." She said. Abby attempted to speak up, clearly disagreeing with Octavia's claim that she didn't belong here. "No Abby, don't say it. I spent most of my years on the Ark locked up, first under the floor of my own home and then I was thrown into prison. When I am with Trikru I feel at home, the woods feel like home. So I am coming with you to convince the Commander to lift Lincoln's kill order so we can go back to TonDC, back to where we both belong."

Abby sighed. She lowered her head for a few seconds and then looked up, her face held a small smile. "Fine, but I am not the only one you need to convince." She said, nodding at a guard and motioning her to open the gate.

As the gates opened, Nyc and his men showed they were ready to leave. Everyone was already mounted on their horses except for Nyc. He stood a few meters away from gate, his hands clasped behind his back. Raven couldn't help but notice him looking at her for a few seconds before diverting his gaze to Octavia, raising a confused eyebrow.

Octavia already noticed his look of intrigue and addressed him, in Trigedasleng.

"Ai gaf in kom op yu, Nyc. Ai gaf in chich op Heda en ban fragon reinseden kom Linkon."

Despite not knowing the language, it was clear what Octavia was asking Nyc. Raven narrowed her eyes, searching for a possible hint of disapproval on his face. But he didn't show it, in fact, he didn't show a single emotion.

"Nou don tel Heda noumou Chansla Abi en Ravon kom op."

Octavia stubbornly folded her arms across her chest. "Please Nyc." She said, switching to English and taking a few seconds before speaking up to make sure she wouldn't say anything that might insult the Commander. Nyc would not allow her to come at all then. "Lincoln doesn't belong here. All I want is just to talk to Heda, to convince her and if she says no I will accept it. But I need to do this, if I don't at least try I will never forgive myself and Lincoln can't do it himself with that kill order on his head."

Nyc kept his gaze on her. His eyes were deep in thought. His hand doing what Raven had seen him do multiple times now; running it through his beard. "Very well." he finally spoke up after a few moments of silence. "I will inform Heda you request an audience with her once we arrive."

Octavia's face immediately lit up. "Thank you, Nyc. I will quickly get Helios."

Raven watched as she sped towards the stables to get her horse until Nyc stepped in front of her, offering a kind smile. "I see you are feeling better again, Raven."

Raven sighed. "Yes I am." she said. The hint of agitation in her voice indicated she didn't really have any interesting in talking to him.

Nyc seemed to notice, the smile on his face fell and was replaced by a stoic look. He only nodded at her and then turned to Abby. "We have prepared a cart for you and Raven to sit on while we travel back to TonDC. It will be more comfortable than riding on the horses with one of my men."

Abby smiled. "Thank you Nyc."

Nyc offered her a nod and then walked towards his horse, climbing on top of him. Raven stepped next to Abby who was smiling at her. "See, it really doesn't hurt to be nice to Nyc. No one died from it."

Abby's words made Raven roll her eyes. "Abby please, can we not talk about this." she said with pleading eyes as the two women made their way to the cart.

"Of course Raven, whatever you say." she said and jumped on to the cart.

Raven, slightly struggling, did the same and saw Octavia arriving on Helios. As soon as she did Nyc called out to his people to start moving and she felt the cart rolling forward. Nyc remained at the front of the group, probably purposefully avoiding Raven and respecting her wish to not talk to him. There were however two men who positioned themselves behind them. The road should be safe to travel but it pays to be careful.

They traveled in silence for a few minutes. The silence made Raven feel uncomfortable and she took it upon herself to make some small talk. Though the subject she chose couldn't really be considered as such.

"So, Abby. Looking forward to seeing Clarke again?" she asked the older woman.

The mention of Clarke's name made her smile and tremble at the same time. "I am. I'm just, worried."

Octavia shrugged and joined in the conversation. "You don't actually believe the Commander took her prisoner, do you?"

Abby let her shoulder slump at the question and let out a deep shaky breath. "I-I don't, no. They would never have offered us help if they had. But she did these terrible things and ran off. And now it turns out she went to them instead of us. I'm just worried she's not the same anymore."

Raven meant to say something to that but Octavia beat her to it. "Of course she's not, Abby. You forced her to go to the ground. You forced us all. And it changed us all."

Raven was slightly surprised by the aggression in Octavia's voice. And it seems she wasn't finished speaking her mind.

"You know, I was mad at her at some point. That with the missile and the village. And then her leaving us. But I get it now. Now that I've spent some time at Arkadia with Lincoln, I completely get it."

"What do you mean?" Raven asked.

"She went to them to fight for us, to protect us. There is a war going on out there and sooner or later we will be right in the middle of it. Indra warned us about it and we did nothing. We just went on with our lives acting as if it wouldn't affect us."

Raven shook her head, disagreeing with Octavia's words. "She can do whatever it is she does from Arkadia too. She could talk to us, there was no need to run."

Octavia piqued an eyebrow at Raven's words. "Maybe yes. But she didn't. All I'm saying is that I understand what she did even though I don't agree with every decision she's made. She managed to keep us alive so far, that's what matters to me."

Abby clearly showed she disagreed. "That was before we landed on earth with the Ark. We are here now to take that burden off of her. She shouldn't be making these decisions anymore, she's still so young."

The look in Octavia's eyes showed she did not agree with Abby on this and Raven had to agree with Octavia on that regard. "Oh please, Abby. You were the ones that sent us down here. We are no longer kids, we are all adults now and we've been here longer than you have." she paused shortly, swallowing back something she was about to say. "You know what, never mind. Like I said Arkadia isn't my home." she said slightly agitated and motioned her horse forward. She moved to Nyc's side and started a conversation with the diplomat.

Raven released a deep breath. "I knew I should have picked a different subject for smalltalk."

Abby had to chuckle at her words. "It's alright, Raven. Octavia's had a difficult life. I can understand her frustration."

"Yeah, next time I will just mention the weather or something, much safer."

"We can still talk about that." Abby said laughing. "It's going to be a few hours before we reach TonDC."

"Yeah, don't remind me. I'm just glad I don't have to spend those hours on a horse."

Raven saw Abby laugh at that before she glanced away from the doctor and her eyes landed on Nyc. He was in conversation with Octavia. She was too far away to hear what they were talking about but then realized they were talking in Trigedasleng and she couldn't understand what they were saying anyway.

Octavia seemed to be able to get along with Nyc quite nicely compared to Raven. Not for the lack of trying from Nyc's side. It was all her own doing to push him away from her. She remembered what he said back in the council chambers. They were no longer in the sky, they were basically grounders now. He had a point, life wasn't the same anymore, it had changed so much. For the better, that is. No longer being stuck in the Ark in space was definitely an improvement. But she did miss space sometimes. Spacewalking seemed so far away now. But it is what it is. Staying up in space wasn't an option anymore. They were on the ground now and she was glad at least that Abby had seen reason and that they were accepting the help needed to start a new life on the ground.

* * *

Not a single word was a lie. Lexa had stayed true to her word about taking Clarke's training seriously and they had been at it for a few hours now. Another thing Lexa was right about was the fact that Clarke seriously lacked any real stamina. She was exhausted, her body battered and bruised, sweat poured down her face and droplets fell from her chin. After practicing with the sword Lexa had switched to hand to hand combat. Just like it was with the sword she only covered the basics, studying Clarke on how she positioned herself and correcting her when she did it wrong.

The corrections went from just telling her how she was stood wrong to actually showing the consequences of being caught off-guard. This resulted in either landing harshly on her back or taking a punch from Lexa. Not strong enough to do any serious harm, though she did feel a lasting pain in her jaw. After all that, the hand to hand combat and the sword training, she hadn't landed a single hit on Lexa. Which wasn't really anything to be ashamed off, considering she is the Commander and likely the most skilled fighter of all the people in the Coalition, but she still felt slightly bad about it.

After the sword training and hand to hand combat they took a short break before Lexa made Clarke work on her stamina by making her jog around the training ground. Lexa ran with her and once more showed how well trained she was and how much Clarke still had to improve. The blonde reckoned they had been jogging for about an hour when she finally collapsed to her knees, completely exhausted while Lexa just stood on her feet showing little sign of fatigue. After each training session they'd taken a break. Lexa had brought some water with her and Clarke especially was grateful to be able to take a drink. Once recovered enough from the run, they went back to hand to hand combat and Clarke once more found herself falling on her back after Lexa evaded a punch and tackled the blonde.

"Just a few more Clarke, get up." Lexa said holding out her hand to help Clarke back to her feet. "Then we will go back to TonDC, it shouldn't be long now before your people arrive."

Clarke let out a tired breath and straightened her shirt. "Oh thank God, I'm wrecked." she said and wiped away the sweat she felt dripping off her forehead.

"I know you're tired but we're almost done, raise your fists a bit more." she said. "Good, now hit me again."

And so she did, she threw her right fist towards Lexa's head. Lexa easily sidestepped and then was actually a little bit surprised when Clarke recovered quicker than she expected and threw another punch at Lexa. The Commander still managed to evade it, and then in a swift motion pulled the blonde closer to her, causing her to stumble, and swept her leg from under her. Just like so many times this morning, Clarke painfully landed on her back and felt the air knocked out of her for a few seconds.

"You show your move already before you act, Clarke." Lexa spoke up, looking down at Clarke.

"Yeah well that explains why I keep landing on my back all the time." she scoffed.

"Don't worry Clarke, for someone without combat training you did well. We will focus more on your technique next time. Today was about studying your style and physique."

Lexa held out her hand for Clarke to help the blonde get back on her feet. She gladly took it and let Lexa haul her up. Clarke intended to turn around and grab a drink of water but felt a tug on her wrist. Lexa refused to let go of Clarke's hand and pulled her back. Noticing Clarke didn't object she wrapped her arm around her waist and pulled the blonde closer. Their bodies pressed together, their lips now inches away from each other she aimed her full attention on the set of beautiful blue eyes.

Staring intently into her eyes, the brunette could feel Clarke's warm heavy breaths on her lips; she wanted nothing more than to kiss her. But Lexa hesitated, despite the reassurance Clarke had given her earlier today Lexa felt like she needed confirmation once more. Diverting her gaze from the blonde's eyes to her lips; they formed a gentle smile and were ever so slightly trembling. Back to her eyes, they were glistening. The look she gave Lexa was all the reassurance she needed. Without giving it another thought she leaned in , one hand waving through Clarke's beautiful blonde locks and the other pulling their bodies even closer together.

As they kissed Lexa felt one of Clarke's hands slide behind the back of her neck while the other landed on her hip. At this moment the blonde deepened the kiss, taking over dominance as their tongues danced around each other. The heat, the passion, it made her feel limp. She allowed Clarke to take control, she allowed the sensation she thought she'd never feel ever again to flow through her body. The salty taste of sweat that was still present on Clarke's lips tasted more like honey than anything else. The brunette felt out of this world as their passionate embrace shortly broke off, ending with a playful bite on Clarke's lower lip.

They both took in a deep breath of air before their lips merged again, feeling Clarke's tongue search for hers, tasting her sweet salty lips once more. Lexa still had her arm wrapped around Clarke's waist and pressed their bodies even tighter together. Clarke moaned through the kiss at this move, enjoying the touch of their bodies, moving her hand away from Lexa's neck and wrapping her fingers through the brunette's locks. Lexa went to move her hand to cup Clarke's cheek when the sound of a branch breaking followed by a voice interrupted her.

"Heda!" I've come to-"

Both women pulled apart but it was already too late. Lexa looked up and saw Gia standing at the path that lead out of the training area. The shame on her face extremely evident, her cheeks turned red and the young girl immediately turned around in shame.

"Moba, moba!" she ushered out the words.

But Gia's apologies fell on deaf ears. The heat in her body was gone without a trace. Her eyes turned stone cold in anger and they were boring a hole in Gia's back. "Chit, Gia?" she said angrily and walked over to the young girl with powerful strides. "Chek ai ou!" she hissed.

The young girl immediately did as Lexa commanded. Horror and fear were dominant in her eyes, it took a lot of effort to look Lexa in the eyes. "Hakom yu kamp raun hir?" she spat out the words as Clarke stepped next to her, noticing the blonde looked more embarrassed than angry but Lexa ignored it and kept her seething eyes locked on Gia.

"H-Heda… S-Skaikru, emo komba h-hir." she managed to say, too afraid of the consequences of interrupting her Commander in an intimate moment.

Lexa shook her head in disappointment. "And you thought it wise to interrupt me for this, instead of telling Nyc to inform them I will be there soon?"

"N-No, Heda… beja wigod ai." she said in a shaky voice and immediately lowered her head in submission.

"I told you to look at me." the Commander said, her voice still full of anger and authority and speaking up once Gia's scared eyes were locked on hers again. "You will go back to Nyc and tell him I will be there shortly, do I make myself clear?"

"Sha, Heda." she said and went to head back to TonDC but Lexa's commanding voice stopped her. "Gia!" she said and waited for the girl to turn around and look at her. "You will not speak of this to anyone, not to Tys or Anya, to no one, understood?"

"Understood."

She bowed to Lexa, making sure to keep her promise and then she disappeared into the treeline. Lexa released a frustrated groan, rubbing the back of her neck as she tried to process that Gia had just interrupted the moment of intimacy between her and Clarke. Anya of course already knew how Lexa felt about Clarke and she figured Tys probably did too but for now it was better that no one else knew. Though she wondered if even Ontari had figured it out how long it would take for other people to catch on. Or even worse, Clarke's mother. She shook her head, Lexa really didn't want to think about this right now and was glad to suddenly feel Clarke's hand connecting with her own.

"Calm down, Lexa. It's fine, it happens." she tried to reassure her.

Lexa looked at her, doing her best to push away the annoyance that's clearly visible on her face. "I know, I just…" she stopped herself, grabbing Clarke's hand and closing the space between them. "When we kiss it feels like all the weight of the world is lifted from my shoulders. I feel free, I feel at home. And Gia interrupted that, it… it angered me." she said, the last few words barely a whisper, her eyes directing down on the dirt below her feet

Lexa felt Clarke cup her cheeks and move her head up, forcing the brunette to look her in the eyes. Once their eyes were locked, Clarke leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. It was a quick kiss but to Lexa it still tasted sweet.

"I uhm… I enjoyed the kiss as much as you did, Lexa. But I think for now it's best to put our feelings away, I am about to see my mom again." she said.

Clarke had a good point. Lexa stepped backwards letting go of Clarke's hand and cleared her throat. "Would your mother not already be suspicious when she sees us return from training together?"

But Clarke shook her head. "She'll be too happy to see me again. But Raven, maybe, I don't know. I really don't care what they think of us. It's not going to make me stop caring about you."

Lexa nodded. "Nor I, but for now we should keep this quiet. Anya has already figured it out and I am certain Tys has too. And now Gia knows."

"Gia won't tell anyone, the Commander made sure of that." Clarke said.

"Good, that means she will not make this mistake again." Lexa said in a serious tone. She looked up at Clarke and saw something was troubling her. "Clarke?"

"You say you want to keep this quiet, do your people not approve of their Commander being with someone?" she asked worried.

One corner of Lexa's lips turned upwards, showing a smirk. "Clarke, I am Heda. If I want to be with someone my people will accept this whether they approve or not. Other Commanders had relationships, not all of them but some did. But I believe in our case, politically, they would even encourage it. Wanheda at Heda's side would greatly bolster my position as Commander and yours as Wanheda. It will give us a lot of power you will basically be treated the same as me, even though the clans siding with Nia do not agree and want you dead."

Lexa's words made Clarke gasp. "You mean they will show me even more respect than they already do?" she said, sounding a bit uneasy.

"Yes, they will. But enough of this, let's go see your mother and Raven. I believe we have much to discuss."

Clarke swallowed deeply. She had to gather the courage to face her mother again. Lexa couldn't imagine what it must feel like. She lost her parents at a young age, too young to remember them and at moments like this she was glad she didn't have any parents. Though she really wasn't looking forward to the moment that would no doubt come where Abby will confront them about their relationship. But for now it was best for both sides to be kept in the dark for as much as they could.

* * *

The walk back to TonDC had been quiet. Clarke had spent the time going over different scenario's in her head of how her mother would greet her. But not just her mother, Raven too. Their relationship had basically been a wave of friendship and hatred over the time they spent on the ground. The blonde was pretty sure that Raven would greet her with animosity. She would undoubtedly be angry at Clarke for leaving instead of coming home to Arkadia.

Lexa was walking a few paces ahead of her and glanced over her shoulder every now and then, no doubt sensing that Clarke's nerves increased with every step they made. Their plan was to quickly change into some clean clothing before facing them but as soon as Lexa's tent became visible in the distance Clarke felt her body tense up when she saw a distant figure that could only represent her mother, accompanied by Raven. Once they got closer Clarke saw Gia standing a few paces behind them, talking to a man who wasn't as tall as most grounder men she'd seen but he was very muscular and had a well groomed beard.

Her eyes glanced back at Lexa, who looked at Clarke over her shoulder one last time, offering her a look of reassurance. Clarke easily read the expression on her face; don't worry, I will do the talking first. The blonde looked at Gia who was just stood still looking at the ground with her hands behind her back, she looked up as though she could sense Wanheda staring at her. As their eyes met Clarke offered her a subtle kind smile, Gia repaid with slight nod but her shameful expression remained. Clarke couldn't be sure if it was for interrupting her moment with Lexa or being unable to stop Abby from being where she shouldn't, outside of the Commander's tent.

Lexa didn't hesitate to point this out to the older woman. "You were asked to wait outside the stables were you not?." Lexa said as she faced Abby with a disapproving glare.

Clarke quickly looked at Raven and saw the brunette gave her a quick look telling the blonde that she tried to stop Abby.

"I wanted to see my daughter, you have kept her away from me long enough."

Clarke saw Gia place a hand on the hilt of her sword and the look on the bearded man's face was filled with disapproval. Her mother had just disrespected the Commander in front of several of her people. Clarke could hardly believe it herself. Looking at Lexa she could already see the well-practiced Commander mask forming on her face and she looked anything but happy at Abby's words. Holding up her hand to Gia to stop the young girl from pulling out her sword, Lexa stepped closer to Abby. Clarke saw her mother doing her best not to feel intimidated.

"We extended the courtesy for you to come here. To discuss how _we_ can assist _your_ people through the winter. You jeopardize all of that by disrespecting me in front of my people. Do your people mean so little to you. Does the work your daughter has done for you mean so little?" she hissed at Abby, taking a step closer.

Clarke could see the shock on her mother's face as the Commander chastised her. Her body stiffened and her eyes wandered as though they were looking for help. She looked at Nyc who was simply staring daggers at her, It made her feel even more uneasy. She quickly diverted her worried eyes to her daughter who was stood a few paces behind Lexa. While her expression did show a little sympathy, the overpowering look of disappointment couldn't be ignored.

"I will let it pass once, because you are not yet fully aware of our ways. You will go back with Nyc, you will wait for us there. But keep in mind, Chancellor, if you disrespect me or my people again you will not receive our assistance. You will be escorted back to Arkadia where you will succumb to the elements or die at the hands of Azgeda. All the while knowing that your impatience and inability to follow a simple instruction ended your people."

Abby, clearing her throat in an attempt to regain some level of composure, opened her mouth slightly but no words were spoken. She realized her mistake and simply gave Lexa a subtle nod to show she understood that she was in the wrong, Nyc then without a word motioned for her and Raven to follow him. Gia also intended to follow them back to the stables but Lexa's powerful demanding voice stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Gia, stay." She said.

Clarke was surprised, she had never seen a grounder look as intimidated as Gia did at that moment. But it was only briefly, the young girl gathered some courage, straightened her shoulders and faced Lexa, knowing the Commander would demand this of her.

"Go to Deiza and tell her you will be reporting to her for the next five days. You will do whatever she asks you, understood?"

Gia's eyes widened in disbelief for a few seconds before the young girl nodded at Lexa and immediately left. Clarke went to stand next to Lexa,"Who's Deiza?" she asked.

"Deiza is my lead attendant. She makes sure my clothes are cleaned, my meals are prepared and my bed has clean furs. Where I go Deiza goes, mostly." Lexa explained.

"I'm surprised I haven't met her yet."

"She manages everything, you would barely see her."

Clarke held a smile on her face. "So cleaning duty for Gia then?"

"It is a mild punishment. I cannot really punish her for interrupting our kiss. And with her injuries it must not have been easy to stop your mother's stubborn act." She started explaining. "Besides, once Tys gets word of what happened, he will not go easy on her once she is able to continue her training. But enough of that, go get yourself some clean clothes and see your people, I will join you once I've spoken to Nyc."

Clarke nodded and watched as Lexa disappeared into her tent. Clarke made her way to her own tent and once inside started to change into some clean clothes which surprisingly had been prepared for her and was lying neatly on her bed. It was almost the same as she had been wearing only the long sleeved shirt was dark blue this time. As much as she wanted to stay inside to recover from this morning's training and not face her people, her mother, Clarke took a deep breath and left to where she'd seen Nyc take her mother and Raven.

She saw Nyc standing outside a building, Clarke made her way towards him and Nyc bowed his head towards her in a sign of respect. "Wanheda, I am honored to finally meet you." he said in a rather formal tone.

Clarke felt uneased by the respect he showed her but did her best not to show it and smiled at him. "Thank you… Nyc, is it?" she asked and then was slightly distracted by arguing voices coming from inside the building. This didn't go unnoticed by Nyc.

"It is yes." he said, glancing at the building over his shoulder. "Your mother is… "

"Stubborn, yes I know." she said smiling. "I am impressed you managed to convince her to work together again."

"I almost did not. Raven Reyes changed my mind at the last moment."

His words made Clarke frown. "Raven?"

"I was just as surprised." he replied with a smile. "But you should go in, your mother is very eager to see you."

She smiled back at him and gave Nyc a slight nod before entering the building. She walked down a small set of stairs but stopped before walking around the corner and come face to face with her mother. The blonde listened in to the heated discussion she was having with Raven.

"She doesn't get to treat me like this, treat us like this, after what she did at the mountain." she heard her mother say.

"Abby you know I don't like her either. Or just about any Grounder. But she kinda had a point, you can't go walking around here going against her orders, let alone calling her out on her shit in front of all her people."

Clarke heard her mother release a deep breath before a short silence fell. "I know, Raven. I know… I just, she betrayed us at the mountain and now she's taken Clarke from us. Did you see how she was dressed. And her hair…"

Blood slowly started to boil inside of her, how could her mother be so short sighted.

"Yeah I saw Doc."

"So what?" a third voice said. Clarke felt her eyebrow rise at that, it was Octavia's voice. "You think Lexa brainwashed her or something? You really think that low of your own daughter that she would let herself be manipulated?"

The words of Octavia made her frown, as far as she could remember Octavia was still angry with her for what happened at TonDC.

"Octavia, the things she had to do since landing on the ground, it's unspeakable, it's horrifying. Clarke is only nineteen years old, she's too young to-"

Clarke had heard enough and stepped around the corner. "I can't believe you." she said with a sneer towards her mother.

"Clarke?"

She could see her mother wanted to go to her and hug her daughter but the tone in her voice had probably held the doctor back.

"You see mom, this is why I didn't go back to Arkadia." she said angrily. "You still think that I can't handle any of this, that I am too young, that all hundred of us that you sent to the ground to die are too young. Well incase you didn't notice, the moment we set foot on earth we became adults. And until you can see that, understand that, I am not really sure I want to be here in this room with you."

Her mother's eyes portrayed how much Clarke's words hurt her. They widened in shock and it rendered her speechless.

"Well look at you, coming down here all dressed like a Grounder princess." Raven said, interrupting the silence that fell into the room.

Clarke shrugged. "Really, Raven? You too?"

"No I don't think you've been brainwashed don't worry Clarke. Nor does your mother, she just misses you. We all do, well some of us anyway. But you seem to forget we've all been through some sort of shit, we all stayed, except you. You ran like a coward while we've all been struggling. Bellamy's been struggling, he pulled that lever too you know."

Clarke noticed the anger in Raven's voice, she watched the brunette carefully as she stepped closer to her. Being called a coward did not sit well with Clarke and she tried to mirror that anger.

"You think I don't know-"

"No I don't think you do know." Raven said.

"Raven… " Abby tried to stop her by placing a hand on the brunette's shoulder but Raven just brushed her hand away.

"No, Abby. Just, no." she sneered at the older woman before facing Clarke again. "Every single person from the dropship that still lives looked up to you. Some might never admit it but we pulled through some serious shit thanks to you. If it weren't for you I'm not sure any of us would have been alive. We trusted you, we put our faith in you and you pull one lever and then run like a dog with its tail between its legs. Well fuck that. I had your mother pulling a bullet out of my body without using any anesthetics, not much later I had some deranged doctor drilling a hole in my leg. My life was, heck my life is hell but I'm pulling through because there are people around me who care about me, even though it took me a while to realize that. Even Bellamy is back to his old self after he pulled that lever together with you-"

Clarke didn't want to hear anymore of it, even though part of her agreed with Raven's words. She could have stayed, maybe she should have. But Arkadia didn't feel like home, it felt just like the prison she had been forced to stay in when she was still in space. For Clarke it never was the right place to heal. Being alone in the wilderness might not have been the best choice either, but without giving it a second thought she would do it again, not a single hair on her head thought differently about this

"I know what he did but it's not the same and you damn well know it Raven. It was my decision, I made the final decision to do it. I agreed on the decision to not tell anyone about the missile, I made the decision to burn three hundred warriors alive while I knew some of our people were still out there. Arkadia isn't my home, it never was. It's a prison. You wouldn't know what that means because you've never been locked up, have you. Maybe you should talk to Octavia about that, I'm sure she can explain it to you even better than-"

Clarke suddenly saw Raven's eyes fill with anger. "Don't you dare pull that card with me Griffin! Finn took the fall for me on that and look where he is now! Dead, because of you! He was the only family I had out there. Do you know what it feels like to lose a member of your family, Clarke? Oh wait, you do! Daddy is no longer with you, is he?"

Clarke felt her heart sink into her stomach. She felt every muscle in her body tighten and she felt as if someone had just punched her in the stomach, over and over again. The blonde was frozen on the spot as was Raven. Clarke wasn't sure but she could have swore she saw a hint of regret flashing through her eyes but either way her words had hurt Clarke.

"Raven, how could you say that?"

It was almost as if Clarke heard herself say these words, but it was her mother who actually stood up for her now.

"She asked for it! She had it coming!"

But then another voice echoed through her head. A strong and powerful yet soothing voice that came from behind her.

"That's enough! You will not use this place as a verbal war zone if neither of you can control your emotions! I could hear you bicker from the other side of the village."

Clarke watched Lexa step next to her, their eyes met and the blonde noticed her reprimand was aimed at her as well as Raven. Looking back at the brunette she wasn't surprised to see Raven heading towards them.

"Whatever." she blurted out before brushing past Clarke with her shoulder and heading up the stairs.

Once she heard the door close behind her Clarke stepped away from Lexa. She wanted nothing else but to embrace her, hug her and find comfort but with her mother and Octavia in the room that wasn't an option so she increased the distance between them to resist the urge to do so. The young woman swallowed deeply and threw her head in her hands, trying to process the heated discussion she just had with Raven when suddenly a hand was gently placed on her shoulder. It was a familiar feeling but not one she felt in a while. And strangely enough despite everything that had happened it felt welcome.

Clarke opened her eyes and saw her mother standing in front of her. The older woman's eyes were filled with comfort and regret.

"I'm sorry Clarke, for everything. Your father, sending you to the ground, everything."

The words she spoke weren't very loud, but they reached their intended target, they reached her heart, her slowly healing heart. She knew the words would not be enough, she knew that they both had a long road to travel. But for now it was enough. For now she wanted her mother's touch, her embrace.

"I know, mom. I know… " she said and did just that what she needed, hugging her mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> nodotaim - another time
> 
> ai get em in, Leksa… ai jos… yu mous wan op - I know Lexa… I just… you almost died
> 
> Ai gaf in kom op yu, Nyc. Ai gaf in chich op Heda en ban fragon reinseden kom Linkon. - I need to come with you, Nyc. I need to convince Heda to lift Lincoln's kill order
> 
> nou don tel Heda noumou Chansla Abi en Ravon kom op. - we informed Heda that only the Chancellor and Raven would come
> 
> chit, Gia - what, Gia
> 
> chek ai ou - look at me
> 
> hakom yu kamp raun hir - why are you here
> 
> emo komba h-hir. - they are here
> 
> beja wigod ai - please forgive me


	7. Os en Foto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A discussion between Lexa and Abby. Clarke and Octavia catch up. Raven talks and Lexa does a few interesting discoveries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone once more for all of your support. A quicker update compared to my last one! Be warned that there will be violence and blood in this chapter.

The embrace between the two women lasted for a few moments. Lexa watched them closely, a small sympathetic smile formed on her face. It pleased Lexa that despite the issues between the two they could still share a kind moment. She had heard all of it, not from the other side of the village as she claimed, but from outside of the building where she intended to have a talk with Nyc. However he only got as far as informing her that Octavia was also present before the verbal barrage between Clarke and Raven began. It hadn't made her words any less true, however. TonDC was not meant for them to use as a verbal battlefield. They will have to find a way to get past their differences in another way, a way that doesn't consist of just yelling at each other.

Clarke and her mother made the first step in this at least. It was nice to see mother and daughter sharing a hug. Lexa knew nothing of family, having lost hers at a very young age. But she knew very well that a simple hug was not going to solve whatever issues Clarke and her mother had. It was a nice first step though, and perhaps after mending some of the wounds, Clarke could tell her mother about what she and Lexa were feeling for each other.

Her gaze drifted past the two women where she saw Octavia standing. She was leaning back against the wall with her arms folded. As soon as Octavia noticed Lexa looking at her she immediately pulled herself away from the wall, straightened her shoulders and dipped her chin down to greet the Commander. Lexa held her gaze for a few moments, studying the young girl. She knew why Octavia was here, Nyc had informed her but she wasn't sure yet what to do about it. It was probably best to hear out Octavia first before she would make her decision, lifting Lincoln's kill order after disobeying her in front of her entire army was not going to be easy, but not impossible either.

The two women in front of her broke their embrace and brought Lexa's attention back to mother and daughter. She saw Clarke smile wearily at her mother before stepping away. Abby cleared her throat and faced Lexa.

"Commander, my apologies for my behavior earlier. A mother sometimes forgets her manners when she worries for her daughter."

Lexa forced her Commander mask to surface but nodded at Abby. "I understand Chancellor, but I meant what I said; I cannot overlook it a second time."

Abby nodded in understanding. Lexa saw her looking up when she heard footsteps behind her. She didn't have to turn her head to know it was Nyc so instead she turned her attention to Octavia.

"Octavia, Nyc told me why you are here. We will discuss that later, for now I would like you to report to Anya, you will find her at the training grounds here in TonDC." she told the brunette.

"Heda?" She said confused.

"I did not banish you, did I?" Octavia shakes her head. "Then you are still Trikru and as long as you are here I will treat you as such. Report to Anya, Octavia kom Trikru."

Lexa noticed the proud and relieved flash in Octavia's eyes. "Sha, Heda." She said and then made her way out of the room.

Once Octavia left Lexa turned to a pile of crates that had been fashioned into a makeshift table and walked over to it. "Please, Clarke, Chancellor, join us so we can discuss the upcoming winter and the current threat our people are facing with the Coalition being broken." She said, hands clasped behind her back, head high and shoulders straightened in a formal stance.

As Nyc stepped next to her Clarke and her mother took their place on the other side of the makeshift table. "Nyc told me you were willing to help rebuild TonDC and you have tools that will help the process greatly ." Lexa said, addressing Abby.

"Yes, as well as ways to find fertile ground." The older woman added.

Growing food has always been difficult for her people. If Skaikru had ways to assist them in this Lexa would gladly take their assistance. "With us teaching your people how to hunt efficiently and giving you supplies for the winter I believe it is a fair trade. As you have already discussed all of this with Nyc I believe we should direct this conversation to the Ice Nation and the threat they pose us now that the Coalition is broken."

Lexa noticed Abby's eyes narrow, thinking through what Lexa just said before speaking up. "But we've never been part of the Coalition, we just want to live our lives, stay out of your politics, how can that put us in danger?"

It was not Lexa herself who answered this as the brunette heard Clarke shrug. "Mom, we helped defeat the Mountain Men, we have guns, technology, the clans fear that. Ice Nation sees us as a threat, you should not take this lightly."

"All the more reason for them to leave us alone, they will never get through our walls and our guns will make sure they never get close." Abby said.

Lexa shook her head in disbelief. "With all due respect, Chancellor, your guns won't protect you forever, you will run out of bullets eventually. Even if you didn't, Nia's army far outnumbers any force Trikru could rally together. No wall or any amount of bullets will stop that."

The doctor's eyes widened at Lexa's statement, it clearly had an impact on her opinion. "I… didn't realize that." She said softly.

"Your base is located near the border with Ice Nation, claiming you are neutral will have no bearing on the fact they will see you as an enemy." Lexa added, making sure her point came across.

"And the Alliance we are about to make, that will include your protection?"

Lexa swallowed deeply, knowing her response might not be fully what Abby wants to hear. "The laws of the Kongeda will not allow this. If you are not part of the Kongeda we cannot protect you." She paused shortly and was surprised Abby was willing to hear her out before speaking up. The scowl on her face however did not go unnoticed.

"However, with the Clans siding with me or Nia, the Kongeda is broken and we could compromise. But not without approval from the remaining clans on my side. The agreement you made with Nyc can remain, but for any other matters I cannot make any agreements until the remaining clans agree. I have sent out riders to all of these clans to have their leaders or representatives come to TonDC."

"How long will that take?" Clarke asked her.

Lexa locked her eyes on the blonde. "My guess will be around three or four weeks."

"And how will I know that you will not betray us again?" Abby suddenly asked.

"Mom… " Clarke warned her mother.

But it was a question Lexa had expected the Chancellor would ask. Maybe not right now but she expected it sooner or later. Now that it was just the four of them Lexa could tolerate it. A quick glance to Nyc showed he too had expected this and in all fairness she couldn't blame the older woman for bringing it up. Because it was a question she'd anticipated, Lexa also already had an answer ready for it.

"I am bound to do what is best for my people, Chancellor. What was best for my people that day at the mountain was for me to take the deal. My people have suffered from the mountain for generations. Look me in the eye and tell me you would not have done the same had the deal been offered to you instead of me."

The Commander saw Clarke look at her mother with curious eyes. Silence took over in the room and Lexa too studied the Chancellor. She was deep in thought, though her eyes remained on the Commander her mind was elsewhere. It was evident by the multiple emotions ever so slightly showing on her face that she was conflicted by Lexa's words.

"If what you did was for your people, why is it that your decision made the coalition fall apart?" Abby asked instead of answering Lexa's question.

Lexa decided to answer her truthfully. "Because unlike me there are people who only crave power, people who do not care about the coalition or its people and only care about themselves. They say I should have gone to war instead, blood must have blood. But that would not have guaranteed the lives of my people inside or outside of the mountain."

Abby looked at Lexa, eyes narrowed and eyebrows scowling. "So you took the deal at the cost of my people and because of you Clarke was forced to take the lives of hundreds of innocent people." She said angrily.

Nyc did not seem to appreciate Abby's tone and from the corner of her eye she could see Clarke's worried eyes aimed at her mother. As Nyc was about to speak up Lexa held up her hand, silencing him.

"Let the Chancellor speak, Nyc. I will allow it for now, we best talk this out before making any other arrangements." She said and turned back to Abby.

"So what guarantee do you have Chancellor, that if I had not taken the deal, none of it would have happened. If we did go to war, would chances not be higher for some of your people to have died too. Would things not have ended with Clarke eventually doing the same thing and burn every Mountain Man alive? With this course of action all of my people survived and almost all of your people inside the mountain did. But yes at the cost of a terrible act that Clarke had to commit. We will never know what would have happened if I had not taken the deal. Clarke might still have had to kill all those people. You and many others could have died. The past is behind us, we must focus on what lies ahead. The only promise I can make you, Chancellor, is that whatever happens, I will always put my people first and so should you."

Abby's frown was replaced by a look of concern and disappointment at the almost apathetic speech from the Commander. She looked Lexa right in the eye, she showed no emotion. She couldn't, as Commander she could not allow herself to show any expression of weakness no matter how small. Though her face remained deadpan she had a curious glint in her eye. It was the Chancellor's expression; she had seen it several times before but in a much younger face. It was that moment that she was able to see perfectly that Abby and Clarke were Mother and Daughter. They both gave off their expressions in the same way.

Lexa looked closely at the older woman and saw her lips tremble in an attempt to speak up. Her eyes moved to Clarke who eyed her mother carefully and tried to read what exactly was going through her mind. Their eyes remained locked for a moment before they were directed back at Lexa and showed a hint of content.

"You are right, Commander. I can never know what would have happened if you hadn't taken the deal. The situation could have been worse, as you said. But you must understand, our cultures, they are nothing alike. It is difficult for me, for many of our people to accept this. I can only speak for myself when I say it requires time for me to get over our differences. But I will try, for my people and for Clarke, to set these differences aside and do what it takes to protect my people."

Lexa nodded. "I understand, Chancellor. But before we continue I feel I need to express to you again to think how you address me in front of my people. Outsider or not, disrespecting the Commander could have serious consequences. No matter what you think of our laws, they will have to be followed."

Abby nodded back. "Understood, Commander."

Lexa directed her gaze towards Nyc. "Now that we have cleared this, Nyc, tell the Chancellor about our scouts."

Nyc nodded at the Commander and turned his gaze towards Abby. "Our scouts are keeping close watch of the area around Arkadia as well as the border between Azgeda and Trikru and the area around Polis. They report any activity back to us, that way we can act quickly should Queen Nia decide to attack us or you. But for now an attack is not likely to happen." he explained.

"Why not?" Abby wondered.

"Forces are divided, Queen Nia may have an army surrounding Polis, but the armies of her supporters are not here yet. For now war is out of the question and both sides will try and use politics and as similar to last night, assassinations to lure each other out." Nyc continued to explain.

Lexa saw Abby suddenly diverting her gaze towards her bruised neck. "I was wondering what caused those bruises around your neck." she said.

"An assassin tried to kill me last night, yes." suddenly Abby glanced at Clarke, eyeing her daughter with worry. "Don't worry, Chancellor, her intent was only to kill me. You daughter is safe."

"How can I not worry? An assassin managed to get into your village and almost kill you, if she did go there with the intent to kill Clarke my daughter could have died. Had she been in Arkadia, inside our walls she-" Abby stopped herself and swallowed deeply, realizing she almost forgot about the promise she made moments ago. "Apologies, Commander. If you say my daughter is safe I should trust that."

"I am safe, Mom." Clarke said before Lexa could. "I can take care of myself."

Abby smiled. "I know, and I am really happy to see you again."

A smile was aimed back at Abby but Lexa noticed it held some hesitancy, clearly showing Clarke still had a lot of problems to talk about with her mother. But now was not the time for that and Lexa was certain that Clarke didn't feel like talking about it right now either.

"I believe we have talked enough for today, Chancellor. Nyc will show you where you and Raven can stay for the next few days. Tomorrow you and Nyc can discuss how to best execute our arrangements." Lexa said and motioned for Nyc to show Abby out.

Nyc immediately complied and asked Abby to follow him out of the building. Abby offered Clarke one last smile and then thanked Lexa before following Nyc outside. The moment she was gone Lexa saw Clarke's shoulder slump and a frustrated groan escaped her lips.

"Maybe Anya was right." she said, running a hand through the unbraided parts of her hair.

"What do you mean?" Lexa wondered.

"Anya said I was stubborn, maybe she's right and I inherited it from my Mother."

Her words made Lexa smile. "Stubbornness can be a good quality to have, Clarke. I am certain your stubbornness has saved the lives of many of your people." she said and walked over to the blonde.

Clarke peaked an eyebrow at her. "This should have been the part where you would have said I'm not stubborn, Lexa."

Lexa chuckled and reached forward, planting a soft kiss on Clarke's forehead. "Very well, you are not stubborn, Klark kom Skaikru."

"And you are a terrible liar, Leksa kom Trikru."

Both women laughed briefly before Lexa stepped back and slowly headed towards the staircase leading to the exit of the building. "Come with me to see Anya, I will need her to begin Echo's interrogation."

At the mention of Echo's name Clarke immediately stopped Lexa, gently placing the palm of her hand on her arm. "Lexa wait. About Echo." she said, searching for Lexa's eyes before continuing. "Would you please let me tend to her injuries after you are done. She's in terrible condition, broken bones, infections that are causing a fever-"

Lexa didn't let her finish. "No." she immediately said.

Just as she expected and with them not being in public, Clarke objected. "Lexa, please. You need information from her, what good is she if she's dead."

"Nyko already went to check on her this morning. He did what was necessary to keep her alive, nothing more. We'll see first how true her words were about her loyalty and if I'm satisfied I might let you treat her injuries." she said. The tone of her voice made it clear to Clarke there was no room for discussion on the matter and without another word the Commander walked outside, where she knew Clarke could not object even if she wanted to.

* * *

Clarke was anything but pleased with the response Lexa gave her regarding Echo. The Commander didn't even give her a chance to say more than two sentences about it. They were outside now and Clarke knew she wouldn't be able to openly challenge Lexa and thus she remained quiet. But her silence and frustrated look made it clear to Lexa that she would bring up the issue again when possible.

However, her thoughts on the matter were pushed to the back of her mind once they were in sight of the training area in TonDC. She spotted Anya and Octavia observing a sparring bout between three warriors. She noticed that Anya would occasionally point a few things out for Octavia but her attention quickly turned back to the fight. A female Trikru warrior was facing off against two male warriors and fending them off with what looked like little difficulty. The two men could barely land a strike on the woman and she seemed to have no trouble hitting them.

Clarke was about to ask who the woman was but stopped herself once she noticed Lexa increasing her pace, looking rather displeased with what she saw.

"Hod op!" she yelled as she reached the sparring ring.

The fighting stopped in an instant and all three warriors turned to face Lexa. Without a word she gave the two men an imposing stare, they nodded in acknowledgement and left, leaving the woman alone to face the Commander. Clarke now had a good view of the woman and took a few moments to study her.

The first thing that immediately stood out was the woman's staggering height. She towered over herself and Lexa by a good six or seven inches, Clarke had never seen a woman stand so tall. She looked to be around the same age as Anya though the battle scars on her face made it difficult to estimate. Her choice of attire was a little surprising to the blonde, she was used to the grounders wearing mostly black and long coats but this woman seemed to prefer far lighter weighing clothing.

She wore a dark green shirt with the sleeves torn at odd lengths; her exposed arms showed that they were almost completely covered with tattoos, far more than Clarke had seen on any other grounder. A matching scarf around her neck that looked as though it could be used as a mask to partially cover her face should the need arise. Around her waist a black leather belt, two large knives sheathed on both sides of her hips with three smaller blades tucked in the back, likely used as throwing knives. A pair of tight fitting dark brown pants, with several tears and covered in dirt, showed a hint of impressive leg muscles, Her boots had seen better days, Clarke couldn't tell for sure what colour they were behind the dried mud, leaves and how tattered they were.

Even though she continued to do so, Clarke felt incredibly uneasy inspecting the Trikru warrior, even as Lexa continued to scold her. Her face held a permanent sullen expression. She would occasionally take a quick glance at the Skygirl. Her eyes, as grey as a storm cloud about to erupt sent an almost paralyzing sense of dread through Clarke. A feeling that, so far, no grounder had ever made her feel. The blonde now understood her choice of attire though; the colours would make her almost impossible to spot from a distance in dense woodland.

"I told you to report to me as soon as you returned."

The warning and disapproval in Lexa's stern voice interrupted Clarke's thoughts. When Lexa spoke this way to Gia earlier the girl practically cowered in fear, this woman seemed completely unfazed by Lexa's authority, her face expressionless and showing no emotion.

"You were busy, Heda, I did not wish to disturb you." She said, her voice deep and hoarse.

"That would mean you were to wait outside the council room until I finished my business there, not instigate a sparring session." Lexa said, voice filled with warning and yet the woman once again showed no emotion.

"It will not happen again, Heda."

It dawned to Clarke that any other Grounder by now would at least have said sorry once. This woman had not said it yet but still somehow managed to keep a certain level of respect towards Lexa.

"It had better not, Keara. At least tell me your mission was successful, I did not expect you back for at least another day or two."

"I was successful. He was taken into one of the holding cells."

"Then you will take me to him now." Lexa said and Clarke saw her aiming her emerald eyes at Anya.

"You come too, Anya, we will interrogate Echo once this matter is handled."

Both women nodded at her and proceeded to follow her in the direction of the holding cells, but not before Keara gave Clarke one last look. It was more than just a quick glance, their eyes met for a couple of seconds sending a shiver down Clarke's spine. Keara gave her an unimpressed sneer before turning away, Clarke sighed with relief. She had a feeling she wasn't going to get along with her and the Trikru woman had just made it clear the feeling was mutual. Movement from the corner of her eyes made her look back and saw that Octavia was walking towards her.

"Hei, Clarke."

"Hei Octavia."

"Shopta?"

"Os. Yu ? En Linkon, ha em lin?"

"Yes he is fine, so am I. Could be better if we could both be here instead of Arkadia. I see you gotten the hang of Trigedasleng." Octavia said, holding a slight smile on her face.

Octavia's kindness surprised Clarke. After the missile and what happened at the mountain Octavia wasn't that happy with her, but now she was kind to her and she stood up for Clarke when Raven and her mother were talking about her.

"I had some time to practice." She said, answering Octavia's observation.

"Did you do all that here? Have you been with the Commander since you left us?"

The question sounded more harsh than Octavia intended, but she didn't show it and maybe Clarke was too quick to assume the youngest of the Blake siblings had forgiven her. Either way, it was still a lot less hostile than her talk with Raven, so she answered her.

"No, I spent two maybe three months in the woods. Until Ice nation found me and were about to take me to their queen had it not been for one of Lexa's warriors saving me and offered to bring me to the Commander. I realized the amount of trouble I was in and I took it. Only when I got here I learned about what happened to the coalition and the danger it would pose to our people, I decided to stay and do what I can to protect Arkadia."

Octavia frowned. "So if you only been here for a few days, how come you speak the language?" she wondered.

"I visited a trading post, the woman there taught me the language and she taught me how to hunt and better survive in the Woods." Clarke explained.

"A grounder helping someone from Skaikru, just like that?"

"She figured out I was the one who killed the mountain men, she wanted to help me."

Octavia chuckled. "yeah I've heard what they call you now, Wanheda." She said.

Clarke wasn't as hurt by it as she was when she first heard it, but she still just preferred to be called by her real name. "Yeah not by my choice."

"What you did is terrible, I can understand."

Clarke really couldn't ignore Octavia's kindness anymore.

"Octavia, last time we saw each other we weren't exactly close and-"

She already interrupted Clarke. "I know Clarke, I know. But just like you I've had time to think. And I've had Lincoln talking some sense into me. I still don't fully agree with your decision on the missile and with you leaving. But I get it, Arkadia feels as little as home to you as it does to me. All I'm wondering about is how you managed to see past Lexa's betrayal and side with her again. I think out of all of us she hurt you the most."

Her words made the blonde sigh but she spoke up nonetheless. "I didn't, not at first. I was a wreck the first weeks in the woods. Nightmares, I barely ate. I cursed her for leaving us. But in time I began to realize that she wasn't to blame. She did what was best for her people, people who have suffered from the mountain men for generations and she had the chance to end it all without further bloodshed. We are not her people. And frankly had they offered it to us, I'm fairly sure we would have done the same thing. Especially with how many of our people still don't like the Grounders.

"But I knew that I was lucky after the Ice Nation captured me and my best bet was to go to Lexa. I didn't expect the Coalition to be broken and once I heard it I offered to help, to make sure our people would stay safe. Apparently having people call you Wanheda gives you quite the influence. Though that title doesn't sit easy with me, I got it by killing innocent people, people that helped us."

"You did what you had to do to save your people, those people that helped us spent years doing nothing, they weren't completely innocent, Clarke."

Clarke nodded. "I know, and I think I've given all of this a place. I did what I had to do to save our people. Lexa did what she had to do as Commander to save hers."

Octavia swallowed while she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, away from her face. "She did and I accept it. I mean I want to spend my life here, among Trikru, with Lincoln. But sometimes I think of all those people that died here and how she just walked away from us at the mountain and it's difficult to look at her. Or you, for that matter." She admitted.

Clarke showed she understood. "We are used to our way of life on the Ark, no one was prepared for life on the ground. No matter the schooling we received. It takes time, for some more than others."

The brief moment of sadness that Octavia held in her eyes disappeared and a small smile formed on her lips. "Speaking of life on the ground, Nyc said you were at the training grounds outside TonDC. Has Heda been training you?" she asked curiously.

It made the blonde chuckle. "For the first time today. She pointed out we couldn't rely on our guns forever and I agreed." Clarke explained.

"Want to put what you've learned today to the test?" she asked, looking at the sparring circle next to them.

Worry crept into Clarke's eyes. "Octavia, I've only had one lesson. A lesson that basically wrecked every bone and muscle in my body. I won't stand a chance against you."

"Come on Clarke, I promise I will go easy on you, and I can give you some pointers if you like. Not as good as the Commander no doubt, but I can try." She said, and honestly sounded like she wanted to spar with Clarke.

Clarke thought it over for a few seconds. She was really tired but she liked how things were between her and Octavia. It was surprising, something she hadn't seen coming. Maybe she should have, she was with Lincoln after all. In a way they were in a similar situation. They both felt like they didn't belong at the Ark, they both stood open to the grounder culture. And they both had feelings for someone from Trikru, though that was something she left out for obvious reasons.

"Fine, fine. Let's do this."

The two women walked inside the ring. Octavia unsheathed both her swords and handed one to Clarke. The blonde took it and tried to remember her earlier lesson from Lexa on how to properly hold it, followed by remembering the correct stance.

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be, I guess." Clarke answered.

She braced herself as Octavia swung at her, to her own surprise she managed to block the strike. The metal of their swords coming together made a loud clang. The brunette gave off a quick grin, but Clarke did not share the same expression, the force of the two swords striking vibrated down her arms causing her some discomfort.

"Shit." she said, rubbing her left arm that seemed to have suffered the most damage.

Octavia grinned. "I'm sure Heda told you this already, you're holding the sword too tight. You need to be more relaxed or you could injure your muscles, Clarke."

Clarke huffed. "Yeah, yeah. You're right she did tell me this already."

"Then relax your stance and grip, come on let's go again."

Clarke did as Octavia suggested. The brunette was right, she did hold it too tightly and eased her hands on the handle and relaxed her shoulders. The sword however, was a bit heavier than Lexa's and soon Clarke realized her grip was too relaxed when Octavia practically slammed it out of her hands with her own blade, sending it a few meters across the arena.

"Not too relaxed, Clarke." Octavia joked and watched how Clarke went to pick up the sword.

While picking it up she noticed the two Trikru warriors who had been fighting with Keara earlier had returned and were watching the two women spar with amusement.

"Wanheda, tich oso op ha yu na gon raun." One of them cheered at her.

It made Clarke smile. "Ai nou bos raun." She said back.

The two men smirked and then their eyes widened in warning which told Clarke she was being attacked by Octavia again. Too late to avoid it Clarke once more was sprawled on her back with the air knocked out of her lungs for a few seconds.

"Oh for the love of God." she mumbled while getting back on her feet only to see Octavia's cheeky grin. She even heard the two men laugh. "Can't you at least wait till I'm ready?"

"Would your opponent in a real fight wait till you are ready?" Octavia retorted.

"You're enjoying this a little too much."

Frankly, Clarke had enough. Her little skirmish with Octavia told her that she was still exhausted from her training with Lexa and she really didn't have much left in her. Luckily for her one of the Trikru men stepped forward.

"Okteivia kom Skaikru!" he roared, "Oso gon em daun nau."

Octavia looked at him; his face showed focus and intensity. Clarke could see he was much taller than she was but it didn't seem to concern the Blake girl.

"What's your name?"

"Ai laik Vorgal and I will make sure it is you who will be lying in the dirt, beaten. " it wasn't a genuine threat to her life, more like a show of confidence.

Octavia didn't seem to be impressed by this and just smiled at him. "I wouldn't be so sure about that. Vorgal." she said with a slight grin.

Clarke quickly handed Octavia her sword back and stepped out of the ring. Vorgal and Octavia immediately started their fight and Wanheda watched them closely, hoping to pick up something from their fight. Where Octavia obviously had no trouble against Clarke, against Vorgal it was different. The Trikru warrior, who looked only a few years older than her, was stronger and more experienced. The youngest of the the Blake siblings was having trouble against Vorgal and Clarke flinched when a punch from the man sent Octavia stumbling backwards.

Vorgal had caused her lip to split and Octavia wiped away the blood while he stepped back, nodding at her and giving her a few seconds to recover. Clarke had to admit that the training the Grounders do can be harsh, however it would also toughen them as a warrior. If this had happened to Octavia after they'd just landed on the ground the young woman would have cried out, maybe even be a bit frightened. But now Octavia barely flinched and acted like it never happened. Clarke couldn't help but be amazed how much she had changed over the time they spent here on the ground. All she could do was be happy for Octavia and proud of the woman she had become.

* * *

His nose looked broken, dried caked blood below it. A partially treated cut rested above his right eye. That same right eye was swollen and his lip was split. Keara had been anything but careful with his capture, just as Lexa had ordered her. He looked at her wearily, his one good eye showing fear as soon as she laid eyes on him. Not surprising, she looked into the eyes of a traitor. She looked into the eyes of the person responsible for Polis being in Nia's control.

He was leaned back against the stone cold wall of the prison cell. His shirt torn and covered in blood, his pants covered in dirt and blood and his feet bare, battered and bloody. His feet dug into the leaves and dirt below him, he licked his dry lips before he attempted to speak.

"Heda ai… "

That was all he managed to say before Keara backhanded him, causing a tear in his eyebrow, blood seeping out of it. "You will not speak to Heda unless she tells you to." the woman responsible for his capture said.

Lexa allowed it, of course. This man is a prisoner and he should know his place, especially after his betrayal. The message came across, his head lowered in fear, his eyes now facing the cold damp floor.

Lexa stepped forward, offering a quick look at Keara. The tall woman understood immediately and unceremoniously hauled him to his knees before taking a step back but staying close to him should he attempt to harm the Commander. But Lexa knew this man well enough to know that he wasn't anywhere near skilled enough to cause her any harm. Clasping her hands together in front of her she addressed the traitor.

"Rylan." she said. "I do not even know where to begin."

She waited, reading his expression carefully and half expecting him to speak up again. But Keara's warning had clearly knocked some sense into him and he remained quiet but kept his one good eye aimed at Lexa.

"We have known each other since birth. We played in the fields outside our village. We practically had each other's back even after I was one of the chosen. You came to Polis just to see me, exploring every entrance, every tunnel to make sure no one caught you. When I became Heda I called you to serve me because you knew every possible entry into the city. I had you draw maps only for me to see and use. Somehow those maps found their way into Nia's possession and you will tell me how."

Her words caused tears to fall down his cheeks. "Heda, please. I can explain." he said, his voice hoarse.

"Then do so, Rylan." she commanded.

Rylan nodded and immediately did as Lexa demanded of him. "I-I don't know how but she found out, Heda, she found out I know of all the secret entrances to the city. Azgeda warriors, Ontari, she… I came home one day and she was there. My wife she… " he paused and swallowed deeply before he continued. "Ontari killed her and just stood there with my baby boy in her arms… "

Tears flooded from his eyes now and Lexa sighed, realizing the reason behind his betrayal. If what he says is true that is. Lexa believes him though. She's known Rylan all her life and she wouldn't be Heda if she couldn't read people properly. That didn't mean she would take him for his word, while she did know he had only just become a father, she would need proof first before she could take the next step.

"So the life of your son is used as leverage to do what Nia tells you." she said and he nodded to confirm. "Where is she holding him?"

Rylan shakes his head. "I do not know, Heda." he replies. Of course he doesn't know, Nia would be a fool to tell him incase he would get the idea to try and rescue him. "But a man comes to my farm at sunrise every ten days with new demands from Nia." he adds.

"How many days before this man arrives again?"

"Three."

If all of this is true this could be very useful information. Idea's were already forming in her head as she faced Keara.

"Keara." she said and the tall woman looked at her. "Take Rylan to Nyko, have his injuries treated. Then take him back to the farm, confirm his story. Take Senho and Vern with you. If what he says is true, let this man hand Rylan Nia's demands and then follow him back, that could lead to his son." Lexa said.

"What of his injuries, Heda? The Azgeda warrior will be suspicious."

Lexa had anticipated that. "Find an Azgeda patrol, kill them and use the bodies to stage an attack at his farm. Make sure it looks like they were merely bandits, mutilate their faces should they have Azgeda scars on it. Rylan isn't the most skilled fighter he is a farmer, the injuries he has should show he took quite a beating. I do not need to tell you how to stage an attack, you have done so many times before."

"Sha, Heda." Keara grabbed Rylan by his neck and forced him to his feet.

"After the man leaves, return to TonDC with Rylan. Tell Senho and Vern to come back to TonDC after they confirmed the whereabouts of Rylan's son."

"And if he has been lying to us?" another question followed that she anticipated.

But the answer to that question was not easy to say, though Lexa didn't show it. "If he lied he will get the punishment suited for a traitor, now go." she said and stepped aside so that Keara could pass.

Anya, who had simply been observing from behind Lexa did the same and Keara pushed him forward. Lexa watched as he stumbled and struggled to stay on his feet but didn't complain about the way he was treated. She really hoped he was telling the truth. If it turns out her life long friend is a traitor it would break her heart. It almost did already when she found out how Nia had taken Polis and that only Rylan could have been the one responsible in providing the knowledge of the secret tunnels to Nia.

"It does appear that he is telling the truth." Anya said.

Lexa nodded. "I believe so too, but I would like it to be confirmed first. If we can locate where the boy is held we can mount a rescue mission and then keep Rylan and his son here and we can use him to try and get control of Polis again." she said. Motioning Anya to follow her they both made their way to the cell where Echo was being held. "But first things first, it's time to have a talk with Echo."

Echo looked up immediately, sitting slumped against the wall similar to Rylan earlier on. Only Echo's condition was worse. It made Lexa think back to her conversation with Clarke about Echo's well-being. Lexa had cut it short quickly and went outside so that Clarke couldn't question her further. But the look she gave Lexa for it hadn't gone unnoticed, the blonde would no doubt confront her again as soon as they are alone. Whatever was going to happen, Lexa will face it and push the thought aside to focus her attention on Echo.

Anya had already opened the door to her cell and forced Echo to stand. She barely managed to, her legs shaking and arms clinging to the wall to try and get herself some extra support.

"It's time for you show your loyalties no longer lie with your Queen, Echo."

"I thought I already been doing that, Heda."

Anya punched her in the stomach, her beaten body immediately slumped down. "Have you not been paying attention to what just happened to Rylan? You weren't asked to talk." the blonde sneered at Echo while she forced her to stand back on her feet again.

Echo managed to, just barely. She was clearly too tired and injured to stand on her feet but knew it was demanded of her right now and it took every sore muscle in her body to do that. She coughed, trying to recover from the brutal punch in her stomach but remained silent, as requested of her.

"Do you know anything of Nia's plan to use Rylan to take control of Polis?" Lexa asked her.

"No, Heda. I was trapped in the mountain for a long time. And when I was released I returned to Queen Nia she told me to find Wanheda and bring her to her. I refused because I knew she wanted to kill her to gain her power and after what she did for all of us that is not a fate she deserves. I tried to run, I got caught and that his how you found me at Selin village."

What she was saying made sense. Echo had shown she respects Clarke and even said she is loyal to her. But Lexa wants to test how much Echo is willing to share. Echo was Nia's spymaster, she must also know of names of spies among Trikru and maybe other clans.

"You were Nia's spymaster. If you truly no longer hold loyalty towards her you should know she has spies among my people. I want names."

Echo remained resolute, showing zero emotion on her face and remaining silent, unwilling to give the Commander any names. Lexa let out a frustrated sigh and looked over her shoulder to the cell opposite of Echo's. There sat Kensi, legs crossed and eyes open. Her condition had improved substantially; she looked a lot better than Lexa expected her to after the effects of the poison. The hallucinations were long gone, she must have still been in quite some pain but she didn't let it show. Lexa admired her for that.

The Commander turned back, a plan already forming in her mind to get Echo to talk. She looked at Anya and the blonde knew exactly what it meant. Once again Echo was on the receiving end of Anya's fist. First she hit the former spy in this ribs, Echo slumped to the floor but Anya immediately lifted her back up and punched her again, a fresh wound showed on her already beaten face and once again Echo lost the strength to stand on her own feet. Anya let her this time, waiting for Lexa's instruction.

"Stand up, Echo kom Azgeda and tell me the names of the spies Nia has placed in my ranks." Lexa commanded, the tone of her voice low and with warning.

Echo attempted to stand up with no success, she lacked the strength to even stand on her own. Anya had no hesitation in hauling her up and keeping hold of her so she would remain standing. It was almost cruel to force this upon her, but Echo was only doing this to herself. All she had to do was give up the names the Commander demanded. But maybe the right incentive would motivate her.

"You must have heard what happened to Kensi last night, Echo." she said and saw Echo turned her gaze to Kensi. The look in her eyes clearly showed she knew what Lexa was referring to. "A price to pay for failing her Commander. As a trained spy I am fairly sure you know we used trikova torcha for it and you must also know what it does."

Lexa paused and once again read Echo's expression which confirmed her suspicions and Echo knows what the poison does.

"So I can make you a deal, Echo. I will have a healer tend to your injuries, make sure your body will recover. After that two things can happen. I will put you back here, give you food and water and have a healer check on you twice a day, if you tell me names. Or after my healer finished tending your wounds and tells me you recovered enough I will tie you up to the same pole Kensi was last night and let Anya cut you with the poison over and over again until you beg her to stop and give us the names we asked for."

She saw her words had the right effect on Echo. She looked at Kensi again with worried eyes. Lexa did the same and saw Kensi smirked wickedly at Echo. Kensi knew exactly what fate would await Echo should she decide to remain quiet and showing Echo how much that pleased her probably didn't make the Azgeda woman feel any better about it. Echo sighed deeply, she lowered her head and closed her eyes, her lips trembled and she swallowed away a lump in her throat before facing Lexa again.

"There are three of them. I only remained silent because one of them is my brother, Heda."

Anya huffed at that. "You give up your brother to save your own life?"

Echo looked at her with a defeated expression. "I find it hard to believe I have a life left, Anya. I only give him up in the hopes it will save his life."

"How would telling us he is a spy save his life?" Anya wondered and Lexa had the same question lined up.

"Because, he is nowhere near as loyal to Nia as I was. He only did it to impress his older sister. He is only happy if he can impress me. If you find him and tell him what happened to me, you can use him against Nia."

Lexa frowned at these words. It could be useful to have a spy from Nia turn on her. "We shall see, first I need names."

"Otta." Echo answers.

Lexa knows who that is, head guard at the Polis gates. She shrugs, also another explanation on how Nia got into the city. Who knows what else she's managed to get into the city over the years by having Otta guarding the gates.

"Racu." Echo continued.

She didn't recognize that name. Lexa tried to know as many of her people by name but knowing them all would be impossible. But it didn't go unnoticed to her to see Anya's eyes widen at the mention of that name.

"Anya, you know him?"

Anya nodded. "Not directly, I've heard of him, a merchant I believe. We should talk with Nyc about this, he knows him."

Lexa nodded and turned back to Echo, waiting for her to give her the last name. She figured that will have to be her brother because she hesitated for a moment but eventually made up her mind.

"Gara."

Her body froze at the mention of the name and she knew Anya reacted the same way without even looking at her former mentor. "Rivo's second." She heard Anya say.

After Rivo had arrived back at TonDC and brought Marcus Kane in as a prisoner, Lexa sent him and Gara to Polis. An easy mission to deliver an update to Tys and afterwards he would have the opportunity to spend some time with his family. With Gara as his second, she now feared what might have happened to him and his family. It was sad to not know his fate, but Lexa knew she couldn't dwell on it.

There was always the possibility that Echo was lying but it was highly unlikely and difficult to prove right now. Two out of the three spies were in Polis and the third one a merchant. She would have to talk to Nyc about him and see what he knows. If he really is a merchant he might not always be in Polis and she can send scouts to find him. But for now she had heard enough and decided to live up to her part of the deal.

"I have heard enough for now, Echo. I will have a healer tend to your injuries." she said and saw relief in Echo's eyes. "This does not clear you however, I will need proof of what you say first."

"Understood, Heda. But you will find out eventually that I told you the truth." she said in return.

"Take her to Nyko and have Wanheda help him." she said to Anya.

"Heda, should we not treat her here. Nyko's tent is close to where you arranged the Chancellor's accommodations."

Lexa knew what Anya was trying to say but she shook her head. "I don't care. They are our guests here, they will have to deal with anything they see. I am not hiding our culture from them. Besides, when Rivo arrived back to us after he had been held captive by Skaikru he clearly showed signs of abuse, they might not know it but we are more alike than they think."

Anya showed she agreed and then dragged Echo out of her cell. The former spy barely managing to keep up with Anya's pace as they headed outside. Lexa didn't follow them just yet. She looked at Kensi first, noticing the young woman was still sitting with her legs crossed. Their eyes met,

"Did Tys come and see you yet?" she asked her.

"Sha, Heda. Not long before you arrived with Anya." Kensi answered. "We… talked."

Lexa knew what she meant by that. It was all she needed to know, whatever the details were she didn't care. "Good. You'll stay here until tomorrow morning, no food just water. Once you are released, report to me immediately."

She dipped her head in acknowledgement, confirming she understood.

* * *

Her brown eyes looked on at the campfire before her, the flames licking at the air offering a welcome warmth on this cold day. In her moment of anger Raven had stormed through TonDC until she stumbled upon a quiet area she could use to try and calm herself. She expected her reunion with Clarke wouldn't be smooth sailing but how quickly it devolved into conflict really surprised her.

What she said about Clarke's father was out of line, she could at least admit that to herself. But what Clarke said before that wasn't exactly kind either.

Shortly after she had sat down an elderly woman went to sit on the opposite side of the campfire facing Raven. In her haze of anger she hadn't realized the fire was directly outside of this woman's home, she gave the Trikru woman an apologetic look and attempted to leave. Just as she made it to her feet the woman spoke up.

"Hod op" she said softly. Raven looked at the woman, she was gesturing for the Skygirl to sit back down, after a quick moment to consider it she obliged. The brunette figured the woman spoke little to no English at all and just offered her a gentle smile before turning her gaze back to the campfire.

The area of TonDC that Raven found herself in was very quiet at this point in the afternoon, just the sound of the fire lightly crackling and the wind gently blowing through the trees. Raven looked up at the woman opposite her who was not simply sat there with her thoughts as she was, she was working on a coat and doing her best to fix some of the holes it held. The young woman watched her for a few moments, admiring the tact and efficiency of the Trikru woman, Raven being an engineer could somewhat appreciate that.

"You are Skaikru, aren't you?"

A sudden voice pulled her eyes away from the woman and Raven found herself looking at a young boy around the age of fourteen. He had blonde hair and held a slight smile. She also didn't fail to notice his arm was in a sling and his wrist was slightly swollen and bruised. She didn't feel like talking and was about to dismiss the boy with a sneer as she had done so with Nyc, but quickly realized she couldn't treat a child like that and forced herself to smile.

"I am yes." she said and felt her body tense when the boy increased his smile and went to sit next to her. Somehow she hoped the boy would be content with her answer and keep moving.

He looked down at her leg, noticing the brace. "You are injured?"

It was more a statement than a question and Raven found that her body relaxed a little and the smile remained on her face. "Yes, I have permanent nerve damage." she said and as soon as the words left her mouth she realized he probably had no idea what that meant.

"What is nerve damage?" he asked, confirming her suspicions.

"It basically means I can never walk normal again." Raven explained to him. "What happened to your arm?"

If this boy wants to talk to her because she is one of the many people that came from the sky, she might as well do her best to get the conversation away from her leg, his answer however was not something she saw coming.

"I made Heda angry and she broke my wrist." he said and what worried her the most was the way he said it.

He made it sound like it was the most normal thing in the world, like he deserved what the Commander had done to him. "Breaking a kid's wrist, how fucking brave of the Commander." she said and saw the eyes of the boy widen in shock.

His reaction was followed by the elderly woman raising her voice; she pointed an accusing finger at Raven and chastised her in Trigedasleng. She might not have been able to understand much English but she knew enough that what the Skygirl had said was insulting towards her Commander. Raven meanwhile couldn't understand a word of what the Trikru woman was shouting.

"She's not very happy with me, is she?" Raven asked the boy.

He shook his head. "You insult Heda, you disrespected her." he said and the look in his eyes showed he agreed with the woman.

"She broke your wrist but you look like you don't like me saying that about your Commander either."

He shrugged. "I deserved it, I was blinded by rage and attacked someone loyal to her."

Now there is something she recognized. When angry, people tend to do things they regret later on. The older woman continued her speech, moving her accusing finger to the boy for a few seconds before aiming it at Raven again.

"What's she saying anyways?" the brunette wondered.

"That I learned my lesson and know now not to anger Heda. And that you should stop judging us and start being open to our culture, we are not as bad as you think." he translated for her. "Oh and that she will let your insult towards Heda go just this once."

He paused a moment when the woman said something else while pointing at a branch and then had told back his laughter, which made Raven frown with suspicion. "Why are you laughing?" she asked, suddenly regretting not knowing their language.

"She says if you insult Heda again, she will get that branch and put it well… uhm-"

Raven's eyes widened. "Point taken, Kid. No need to say more." she said.

It made her smile but realized at the same time the woman and the boy were right. She really did need to be careful with her words when among the Grounders, it made her think back to the warning the Commander gave Abby after she talked back to Lexa in public.

The elderly woman was right, as was Abby back in Arkadia. She had been judging the Grounders without knowing them, yet here she sat having a pleasant conversation with a young boy and in a way an older woman who were being anything but the savages Raven thought the Grounders to be. It made her think that maybe it couldn't hurt to open herself to them and their ways a little more.

"So… uhm, I am Raven." she said introducing herself. "What's your name, kid?"

"I am Aden and I am not a kid."

"No?" Raven asked with a smirk.

Aden shakes his head. "No, I am training to become a warrior, I am already a second." he said and looked at her leg again. "If your leg will never heal, will you not be able to be a warrior again?"

"I never was a warrior, Aden."

"Then what do you do?"

"I uhm… I'm an engineer, a mechanic. But you probably don't know what that is, do you?" she said, refraining from telling him she's also good at making things explode. She really didn't want to upset the older woman again.

He already showed he didn't, but he also showed a look of intrigue. "No, but I know Skaikru uses guns, does it have to do with guns?" he asked.

Raven felt her eyes widen, shocked that guns was the first thing that came to his mind. "No Aden, it doesn't have to do with guns. Not for me anyways." she quickly said.

"Then can you explain what you do, I want to know. Maybe you can teach me something and I can show Wanheda what you taught me."

The look in Raven's eyes was replaced by surprise. Aden sounded like he wanted to impress Clarke. The smile on his face when he spoke the title the Grounders had given her showed happiness and care. This was surprising and not what she expected.

"You like Cla… Wanheda?" she asked the boy as one of her eyebrows rose up.

The mention of Clarke's title made the smile on his face grow even wider.

"Yes. She saved our people." he simply replied.

"Not that I am complaining because she saved me and a lot of my people too. But many innocent people died in order to achieve that, your people are not offended by that?" she wondered.

But before Aden could answer the older woman once more spoke up in Trigedasleng, her words again aimed at Raven. They didn't sound angry like before, even though she couldn't understand the words the brunette paid attention to the woman's expression as she spoke. She showed relief, followed by respect and finally grief and sadness filled her eyes.

"What's she saying?" she asks, turning back to Aden.

"Heda first rescued our people from the mountain and then Wanheda made sure no Mountain Man would ever harm us again. For many generations the Mountain Men have hunted us, including her lover and daughter. She has lived without them during five different Commanders. Hundreds of thousands of our people have died over that period. The innocent lives Wanheda has taken to achieve our freedom from the mountain was a sacrifice that had to be made. Blood for blood."

As soon as Aden finished translating the woman continued talking, but suddenly in English, though it wasn't very fluent.

"Gada, you easy to read. You many hate inside. Not only for Heda or Wanheda, but for you also."

"I don't know what you're talking about." she said, barely believing the words she spoke and hating the fact this woman was right about her.

She could feel herself becoming defensive, a tense feeling slowly making it's way through her body again, her gaze diverting back to the fire to avoid eye contact with Aden or the older woman.

"You speak not true. I live long to know this. I hated me also once."

Raven looked back at the woman as she went back to speaking Trigedasleng and waited for Aden to translate, which he immediately did once she had finished talking. But as he did she held her gaze and couldn't look away from the stern and yet friendly set of eyes.

"Heda did at the mountain what she had to do and now with the Coalition divided she suffers the consequences. Wanheda also did what she had to do, but her mind was not trained for it like Heda's. Wanheda sought refuge in the woods to heal but eventually turned to Heda to help bring the twelve clans back together. You judge us, you know not of our culture, or ways. But what Wanheda does know and Raven of the Sky people doesn't, is that since the day your machines landed and your boots connected with the dirt, grass or any other surface it first set foot on, you became one of us."

Raven felt her mouth turn dry as a dessert as she listened to the woman's lecture. She was completely taken aback at how this woman was speaking to her. Of all the people alive to leave her speechless it came down to an elderly woman who barely spoke the same language and a young boy, who at this time had a rather smug look on his face.

"You are enjoying this, aren't you, kid?"

"A little bit but she speaks the truth. We really are not as bad as you think. Queen Nia, the woman who tried to take control from Heda, she is far worse. Our harsh ways are to make sure our laws are followed. Were your laws in the sky any different?" he asked.

And that was a good question. They might not have tied people up against a tree to be cut by people, but floating people is a punishment she wouldn't wish upon anyone. A person will suffer first until they finally meet death. She sighed and hated it when she had to admit she was wrong.

"Actually, we might not be no. A punishment we upheld at the Ark was to execute people by floating them."

"What is that?"

"An extremely painful death that, unfortunately for the condemned, is not instant. There is no air so you can't breathe, your skin will feel like it's on fire and if you're unlucky enough to still be conscious when it happens, you may feel some of your insides explode. Why am I explaining this to a kid."

"I told you I'm not a-"

"You're not a kid yeah I know." Raven said as she stood back to her feet.

"Where are you going?" Aden wondered.

"To make amends." She said and turned to the elderly woman. "Thank you, miss and I'm sorry for being an ass."

The woman just smiled at her and nodded before turning her attention back to the coat she was working on. Raven sighed as she headed back into the village and started drift away with her thoughts. She was willing to be more open minded about these people now. The Commander had left them behind on the mountain and it wasn't something she could easily forget. But she showed the willingness to help Raven and her people through the winter and that must mean something.

Clarke also had been able to tolerate the Commander and Octavia seemed to have chosen her side in all of this. Which of course wasn't a complete surprise judging from her relationship with Lincoln and her history on the Ark makes it understandable she doesn't feel at home at Arkadia. Besides they were here now, on the ground, just as the elderly woman had said. They are on earth, living an isolated life was not an option. They had to adjust and if this Queen Nia really was as bad as Lincoln and now Aden had said, maybe it was for the best that they once more sided with the Commander.

* * *

As she was walking back from the holding cells Lexa could see the training area in the distance, where she saw Octavia and Vorgal fighting. Clarke sat a few meters away looking on. The blonde didn't notice Lexa approaching as she sat with her back facing the direction she was approaching from and seemed to be concentrating on the bout between the two.

"Good Octavia!" she cheered as the brunette managed to land a punch on Vorgal's cheek.

Lexa stepped next to Clarke, the blonde slowly made it to her feet, indicating she was still tired and in some pain, to show the proper respect.

"Commander." She said, slightly dipping her head down.

Her arrival also made Octavia and Vorgal pause their fight and face Lexa. "Heda." They both said, unsure if they should continue as she stopped the sparring earlier today with Keara.

"Don't let me stop you, continue." She said and clasped her hands behind her back.

They nodded and Octavia and Vorgal continued their duel. They both looked battered and it made Lexa believe the fight so far had been even. Vorgal was a formidable warrior, if Octavia managed to stand her ground against him she had progressed as a warrior nicely since she saw her last at the mountain.

"How has she been doing so far, Clarke?" Lexa asked the blonde to confirm her suspicions.

"Started out rough for Octavia, but she recovered nicely. Seems a pretty even fight though I can't understand how they manage to keep going, they've been at it since you left for the holding cells."

"A fight can last a long time. This way they can work on their stamina as well as their fighting skills." Lexa said.

Clarke huffed. "I still have a lot to learn, don't I?"

"Yes you do, Clarke." She replied. "But for now I believe Nyko will require your services. Echo will be there and you both can treat her injuries to the best of your ability."

This surprised Clarke and a smile formed on her face. "I appreciate that Commander, thank you."

"No thanks needed. Echo provided us with the information we requested and in return I promised to have her injuries treated." She said. "Now go, her injuries are severe, Nyko could use your help."

Clarke immediately thanked Lexa again and headed in the direction where she knew Nyko would be. Lexa turned her attention back to the sparring and it didn't take her long to easily notice mistakes the two of them were making. Before they could continue Lexa stepped forward. "Both of you, up!" She said and they didn't hesitate to do so.

Lexa turned to Vorgal first. "You are too eager, Vorgal. Your movement was good, you knocked her down and that made you believe you already won. Remain vigilant and calm, never rush."

"Sha, Heda. Mochof." He responded.

Lexa then turned to Octavia. "I called Clarke out on how she showed what she intends to do before she strikes. You do so too, don't make it too easy for you opponent to read you, Octavia."

Octavia offered Lexa a respectful nod. "I'll work on that right now, Commander."

She wanted to get back to sparring with Vorgal but Lexa stopped her.

"No, another time. You'll come with me now."

Without further explaining herself Lexa advanced into the direction of her tent and without hesitation Octavia obeyed her command. Once they reached her tent Lexa glanced at the guards outside before stepping in and motioning Octavia to follow her. Lexa sat down on her throne, crossed her legs and just stared at the Skygirl in silence.

Octavia stood roughly two meters away from the Commander feeling rather nervous and tense, she wasn't sure what to do. Should she speak up first or wait for Lexa to address her? As she said outside, Octavia was easy to read and Lexa could tell she was feeling uneasy. The young Skygirl couldn't maintain eye contact with Lexa and would constantly shift her gaze to something else and even though the Commander couldn't show it, it slightly amused her.

"Look at me, Octavia." Lexa ordered. She complied immediately. "Nyc told me you came here to talk to me about Lincoln's kill order."

"Yes, Heda, I did." She answered.

"I see no reason why I should do that, he disobeyed me in front of my army after being given a second chance. This is the price he pays."

Worry ran through Octavia's eyes but it was quickly followed by determination. "Please, Commander. There must be something he can do, or maybe I can do for you to lift it. He is now forced to live somewhere where he doesn't belong, where I don't belong either." She pleaded

Lexa shook her head. "He brought it upon himself with his actions. Yesterday I had someone punished for disobedience too, not to the same extent as Lincoln but she still had to be punished. What you ask of me is to look the other way for Lincoln after he failed to obey me in front of my army. The Coalition might not be intact anymore Octavia but that doesn't mean I can let things like this go. He failed to follow a simple command and then he ran. It is something I cannot let go unpunished."

Octavia immediately took a step forward, not taking no for an answer. "Then can you please give him another punishment, something that means we can at least leave Arkadia. Please Commander, is there no other way?"

Lexa uncrossed her legs and stood up. "Do you realize what you are asking me, Octavia?" she asked, slowly taking a few steps closer to her. Octavia in turn took a couple of shaky steps backwards, whether the intimidation was intentional or not, it was certainly having an effect.

"What do you mean?" She asked but Lexa was sure she had an idea of what it could mean for Lincoln.

"Lincoln would be better off in Arkadia. If not a kill order the ways to punish Lincoln will cause him nothing but pain, extreme amounts of pain. But I am not telling you something Lincoln must have already discussed with you, he knows our laws, the price for disobedience."

"He did tell me, yes." She said softly, lowering her head for a few moments before facing Lexa again with a new wave of determination. "But he also said he would do anything to make me happy. And we are not happy at Arkadia and I am not happy without him. So we agreed for me to come and talk with you, Commander. He said it's better to suffer and be happy then to be unhappy and trapped in a place where we both don't want to be."

Lexa kept her eyes locked at Octavia and thought about the words the Skygirl just spoke. So Lincoln was willing to suffer through any punishment if it meant he and Octavia could be happy afterwards. Lexa hadn't realized how much they were in love. She wondered if it was wise for Lincoln to do this though. Lincoln has often been at odds with their ways. Maybe he was better off with Luna and her people. But if this is what he and Octavia want, Lexa figured she could give it some thought.

A few moments of silence passed, Octavia now was staring intently with a pleading expression, whereas Lexa showed no emotion. A few seconds later she turned around and sat back down on her throne . "Very well. If this is what you both want I will think about it." She said.

"Thank you, Commander. Thank you so much." Octavia said excitingly.

But Lexa shook her head. "Don't thank me just yet, Octavia. I said I would think about it, I haven't decided anything yet. And trust me when I say this, if I think of a suitable alternative way to punish Lincoln for his disobedience he will suffer greatly and so will you, Octavia."

Octavia's eyes widened at Lexa's words but she recovered quickly and nodded at Lexa. "Whatever your decision will be Commander, Lincoln and I will face it." She said.

"Very well, Octavia. You are free to remain here until I've made a decision, report back to Anya."

After another thank you aimed at Lexa Octavia left and Lexa remained alone in her tent. She took the moment to think through today's events. It was a great day that started with Clarke admitting her feelings for Lexa. They kissed, Lexa trained Clarke and they shared another embrace.

Words could not describe how happy that made her but Lexa knew to be careful with this. Though politically it could be an advantage to be together with Clarke but for now it was probably best to not tell anyone about it. At least not until the clan leaders had arrived. She cares for her and letting it know they are together would also mean that Nia would want to take advantage of that just as she had with Costia. Lexa would do anything in her power to prevent that.

But keeping this a secret from Nia was not going to be possible for long. Ontari was most likely back at Polis by now and likely informed the Ice Queen of her suspicions. Though knowing Nia, she would want proof first before taking any action. All Lexa can do is try to anticipate Nia's moves and train Clarke so that she can fight back should the Ice Queen make a move to try and capture Clarke. The very thought of that happening frightened her but she refused to dwell on it. For now Clarke is here and safe. Security has been increased since Ontari's attempt to kill her but Lexa doubts the Azripa would return anytime soon.

"Heda! Can I come in I have urgent news!"

Her train of thoughts was interrupted by the familiar voice of one of her scouts.

"Enter, Severna." The young woman immediately did as Lexa ordered and stepped inside. "Speak." Lexa said after Severna respectfully greeted her Commander.

"I would like to request warriors to travel East, Heda. We have discovered a group of refugees from Polis. But not just any. An elder, someone from Skaikru and seven novitiates."

This news made Lexa jump from her throne and hastily walked closer to Severna. "How far away are they?" she asked.

"Not far Heda, if I leave now I can be there and back before night fall. They are hiding in a cave with Jaret at the moment, hiding from Ice Nation scouts who are looking for them. If I can take warriors back with me we can escort them to TonDC safely. But some of the Novitiates and the Skaikru are injured."

Lexa nodded and agreed. "Then we cannot risk waiting out the night. Go find Tys, bring him and twenty warriors with you and go right away. Report to me as soon as you arrive back."

Severna quickly nodded at Lexa and then hurried outside to do what Lexa ordered. Lexa ran her hand through her hair. Seven novitiates, that meant two were not there. The elder would likely be able to tell Lexa what happened to them and who they were as soon as they arrived. She wondered which of the four Elders it would be and she also wondered who the person from Skaikru was. Severna wouldn't have known. Not many people get to see the elders, let alone know them by name. She obviously also wasn't aware of who from Skaikru was with them or else she would have mentioned the name already.

But only knowing that most of the novitiates are alive was already heartwarming to Lexa. She expected Nia to have already dealt with them and end the legacy of Commanders so that she could rule Polis and the twelve clans, declare herself their leader. Lexa suspected they were alive still because she wanted to make a show of their deaths in front of the people of Polis, to incite fear. She had waited too long with her barbarous idea and the Elder found a way to escape with them. Either way, the brunette will have to await the story behind their escape. For now she was just glad that most of the possible future Commanders were still alive. She just hoped it stayed that way and Severna would make it back with Tys and the warriors before the Ice Nation scouts find them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to point out, if it hasn't already been obvious, that I am using my own version on how to become Commander. There is no nightblood in my story. In the next chapter some of it will be explained. Thanks for reading and I am still more than happy to hear your feedback.
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Os en Foto - Good and Bad
> 
> Shopta - how are you
> 
> Os. Yu? En Linkon, ha em lin? - Good. You? And Lincoln, how is he?
> 
> tich oso op ha yu na gon raun. - Show us what you can do.
> 
> Ai nou bos raun - I am not that good yet
> 
> Oso gon em daun nau. - We will fight now
> 
> Name explanations:
> 
> Vorgal - thought of this one myself.
> 
> Keara - Keara court located in Manassas Virginia
> 
> Rylan - from Maryland
> 
> Senho - Eisenhower East, Alexandria, Virginia
> 
> Vern - Mount Vernon
> 
> Otta - Ottawa, Canada
> 
> Racu - Syracuse, NY
> 
> Gara - Niagra Falls (Though some familiar with Naruto might recognize it from there.)
> 
> Severna - Severna Park, Maryland
> 
> Jaret - Jarretsville, Maryland


	8. Lukot en Baga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Novitiates arrive including the Skykru who is with them. Some more is explained about Lexa's culture and there will be some interesting dialoges.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all sorry for letting you wait so long for this chapter. My life is hectic and busy and with the heat that's been lingering around Holland there mostly only been a will to lie down on the couch and try not to melt. But chapter 8 is here now and I can tell you it's a lot of dialogue. A chapter I felt was needed and is holding some drama, maybe a tad bit of angst.
> 
> But don't worry, I said this was going to be a dark story and I can promise you it will be. Give it a chapter or two and things will become really, really dark, but that's all I am going to say about it.
> 
> Last but not least I would like to thank you all again for all your support, it is appreciated. And I would like to point out that this story has come to your liking not only because of me but also due to the great help of my UK friend, so feel free to give him kudos as well. :p
> 
> A small side note, I discovered that somehow in chapter 3 the last bit was cut off for some reason. I added the last bit that should be there. 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy chapter 8, there is a Clexa moment in there somewhere. ;)

It shouldn't be long now before Tys and Jaret would return with the group of refugees from Polis. Severna had arrived back ahead of them a few moments ago to inform Lexa they had dealt with the Ice Nation scouts and were almost at TonDC. Lexa immediately told Severna to find Clarke and her mother and bring them to her at the entrance, with Nyko occupied treating Echo their medical expertise would be of great value. Also if there was someone from Skaikru among them it might be nice for this person to meet a familiar face. The man from Skaikru was in bad shape and four novitiates were injured, one of them badly. This is what Severna had reported to her at least.

It was beginning to go dark as Lexa paced back and forth awaiting the arrival of the novitiates. She was incredibly anxious to see them again, not only were they her legacy but she also considered them her family, once she received word that Nia had seized control of Polis she immediately feared the worst. She taught them the ways of the Commander, observed and guided their training. Lexa thought back to just before she left Polis to confront Skaikru, she read them a book from the old world, a book she liked as a child. However under the rule of the previous Commander, the elders forbid this, to them their childhood ended the moment they completed the rituals and became chosen.

The Commander before Lexa had been strict about these rules. Lexa had often been punished whenever she was caught doing something he or the Elders deemed unfit for a future Commander. But since becoming Commander she made sure to change this even though the Elders did not agree with it. But with Lexa being Commander, all they could do was respectfully follow her rule whether they agreed with it or not. Anytime they attempted to talk reason she would simply tell them; I will make history and not the other way around. In periods where there is no leadership, society stands still. Progress occurs when courageous, skillful leaders seize the opportunity to change things for the better.

"What was that you said?" Clarke asked as she approached the Commander.

Lexa suddenly realized she'd said all of it out loud. Her thoughts had dragged her far enough away from reality that she never noticed Clarke and her mother approaching, she shook herself out of it and turned to face the two women.

"Nothing important." she quickly answered. "Thank you for coming."

"Your scout said something about a group of refugees?" Abby asked.

"Yes." Lexa answered. "A group of novitiates, children trained to become Commander should my fight end. They managed to flee from Polis with the help of an elder and one of your people."

That got both women's attention. "Who?" Abby immediately wondered.

"I don't know. Severna did not know his name. But we will find out soon, they should arrive any moment. Four of the children are injured, one severely as is the man from Skaikru. I would be grateful if you would tend to their injuries, Nyko is currently still looking after Echo but if his help is required I will have someone bring him."

Clarke nodded. "Severna already told us to bring medical supplies so I had a quick stop at Nyko's. We will help in any way we can, Commander." she said formally.

Just as Clarke said this the sound of horses approaching could be heard. Lexa narrowed her eyes and as soon as they came in sight she saw Tys riding up front with an injured man in front of him hanging almost lifeless against him. Jaret was almost right beside him with a young dark skinned boy in front of him. The boy looked conscious but seemed to be in bad condition.

"Oh my God, it's Murphy." Lexa heard Clarke say from next to her.

As soon as they were inside the village Tys and Jaret immediately jumped off their horses and Clarke and her mother approached them. Clarke headed to the man she identified as Murphy and Abby tended to the badly injured boy. Worry sank into her heart to see him so badly injured. It was Cole and while it pained her to see him so injured, she was glad at least that he was alive still. As Cole was placed on the ground by Abby to assess his injuries Lexa looked on with great concern.

Half of the boy's face was covered with blood, some dried, some still trickling down his skin from a wound by his eye. One arrow pierced completely through the upper part of his right arm, just below his shoulder, resulting in a very rough laceration. Blood poured down his arm staining his skin and torn clothing. Another arrow was embedded in his right leg, just above the knee, fortunately that wound was much cleaner than the previous. Lexa then noticed he was having trouble breathing, Abby picked up on this too and made it her first priority as she started began inspecting his injuries.

Lexa turned to Clarke to see how the Skaikru man she recognised as Murphy was doing but the remaining novitiates forced her to turn her attention to them.

"Heda!" they called out to her, all six of them surrounding her and then kneeling down.

Lexa immediately knelt down to level their height and checked their conditions one by one. They looked well enough. A few of them had bruises or cuts but their injuries were minor compared to Cole's. As she was about to speak to them the voice of an angry sounding woman distracted her.

"Get away from him! You have no business touching him! Who are you?"

Lexa felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. She'd hoped the Elder that had come back with the Novitiates would have been anyone but Lynn. But she heard her voice loud and clear and saw how she pushed Abby away from Cole. Lexa knew she had to step in immediately before things escalated.

"Lynn! Chill yu daun!" she said with authority. "Klir of Abi kom Skaikru ."

Lynn, who looked to be at least a decade older than Abby, turned to Lexa and looked ready to object. "Skaikru? You let Skaikru treat the injuries of a Novitiate, after they were responsible for you losing control of Polis?"

"Enough! Know your place, Lynn. Do not question me or cause a scene. I know what you are trying to do here and I will not allow it."

Lexa's words were strong and from the corner of her eyes she noticed the Novitiates slightly cowering.

But while the older did step away from Abby she did not stop confronting Lexa.

"Why is Nyko not here, why lower yourself to using Skaikru healers?" she argued.

"Tell me, Lynn. Has a Commander ever had to explain herself to an elder?"

"No Heda, but because of them Nia is now in control of Polis and the Kongeda is shattered. Why still ally with them?"

Lexa didn't say a word and just closed the distance between them and stepped into her personal space. Her eyes were filled with intimidation and warning.

"Did you not ally with someone from Skaikru?" she said, knowing she was right as that would be the only explanation for Murphy being with them. But she didn't allow Lynn to answer and continued scolding her.

"An alliance with Skaikru ensured that our people could be freed from the mountain without further bloodshed. I don't know what Nia has been telling you but what caused the Coalition to break was me making a deal with the enemy to accomplish the safety of my people. I chose them over war and even more bloodshed. I put my people first. Is that not what you and the other Elders have taught me, Lynn? Is it not Nia and the clan leaders siding with her who are in the wrong here? What kind of leader would want war over the safety of their people? Why should I have bothered forming the coalition in the first place?"

It was clearly visible, Lynn looked like she was ready to argue with Lexa again. But she faltered under Lexa's gaze. The gaze was taunting and showing that if she dared to speak up to Lexa like that again she would pay for it. Elders might have a little more bearing than the rest of Lexa's people but the Commander had her limits, especially when it came to Lynn who had more than once challenged Lexa up to the point where she would reach her limit of patience.

One more argumentative word and that line would be crossed, Lynn could clearly see this and thus gave in and ever so slightly lowered her head in respect. It was enough for Lexa to take a step back, noticing that apart from Clarke and her mother, all eyes were on her and Lynn.

"Go to the council chambers, I will be there shortly and then you will tell me everything that happened from the moment Nia took control of Polis." Lexa demanded.

"Of course, Heda." Was all Lynn said in response before she left.

Lexa let out a deep breath she was barely aware of holding back before facing the novitiates who looked ready to follow any order Lexa was about to give. She motioned for Tys to come over first and then addressed the Novitiates.

"Go with Tys, he will take you to Nyko and have all of you checked. Tys should be able to assist." She said, knowing he had healing training, to some extent.

"Tys." She said, looking at him. "Once they've all been checked come to the council chamber with Nova."

Tys nodded at Lexa and gathered the remaining Novitiates to follow him to Nyko. Lexa had already turned her attention to Cole and knelt down at his side. He was still awake and looked at Lexa with a pained expression. She could tell he was in a lot of pain but he resisted the urge to cry, putting on a strong face for his Commander.

"Heda…" he said, his voice hoarse.

Lexa immediately held her hand up and interrupted him. "Shh yujon. Yu gonplei nou ste odon kom nau."

"Sha Heda. Chit nou frag ai op... na teik ai gon mou yuj." his voice was hoarse but through his pained expressions he showed determination.

Lexa smiled and she answered his confidence with a nod and he nodded back and lied down again. Lexa faced Abby, the look alone she gave her was enough for Abby to understand. "He will be fine, Commander. He will probably have a few broken ribs. I will need to treat that head injury and the arrow tips need to be removed but not here."

"I've had tents set up close to Nyko's building. Severna will take you there, she will stay with you should you need anything. If anything changes inform me immediately." Lexa instantly turned to Clarke. "The same goes for Murphy kom Skaikru, he will go with Severna too."

Mother and daughter both nodded. Lexa immediately glanced at two warriors and the two men didn't hesitate and understood the order. Both Murphy and Cole were gently lifted and carried off towards the tents that had been set up for Abby. As the Doctor walked after them Clarke wanted to follow them but Lexa called her back.

"Wanheda." She said, stopping Clarke in her tracks and waiting till her beautiful blue eyes were aimed at her. "When Murphy kom Skaikru wakes up, ask what happened for him to be in Polis and how he escaped with Lynn and the Novitiates. I would like to hear his side of the story."

She saw Clarke frown. "You don't trust you own people to tell you the truth?" she wondered.

"I do. But a story is best told from all perspectives, Clarke." She explained.

The blonde offered an understanding look and then turned to follow Severna and her mother inside TonDC. Lexa decided to waste no time and hurried to the council chambers to find out what exactly had happened to her Novitiates and Lynn.

* * *

"Clarke… ?"

His voice was just loud enough to hear from the other side of the tent where she stood with Cole, busy bandaging his injured leg. The young boy had been given a concoction that they got from Nyko, it had put him asleep so that he could get some rest while they tended to his injuries. At the sound of her name she peered over her shoulder to see Murphy staring at her. His eyes looked weary but there also clearly was confusion in them.

"Go to him Clarke, I'll take over."

Clarke let her mother take over and hurried over to Murphy. He looked better than he did when he arrived at TonDC. His entire body covered in blood, including his face. Clarke had discarded him of most of his clothing and cleaned the wounds all over his body and his face. The reason he arrived unconscious mostly was due to exhaustion. It was clear his injuries had all been caused by torture, they were precise and inflicted in places to cause the most pain. Murphy wasn't the type of guy you could consider to be your best friend. He caused a lot of trouble at the dropship and he was the reason behind Raven's permanent nerve damage, but if there was anything Clarke learned in her time on the ground, it's that everyone has done things they regret. Murphy was no exception and she even felt a bit sorry for him. This was the second time he'd been tortured; first by Lexa's people and now by Nia's people.

"Hey, John." she said, reaching for the bucket of water at her feet. She removed a clean cloth from it which she used to gently clean the many cuts on his face. "I probably know the answer already but I'm still going to ask. How are you feeling?"

Despite the condition he was in Murphy managed a sarcastic snort and a smirk appeared on his battered face. "Just peachy. I'm making it a habit to get tortured into oblivion." he said, his voice hoarse.

A matching smirk showed up on her face. The attitude he showed was exactly the one she'd gotten used to knowing him. The look on her face quickly changed to one of compassion though. "I'm sorry this happened to you, Murphy." she dipped the cloth back into the bucket a few times before using it on his arms this time.

"Yeah, so am I." he said, looking around the room. "Where the hell am I anyway?"

"TonDC."

He looked confused. "Not Arkadia?"

"No, you expected to wake up there after escaping from Polis with a bunch of Grounder kids and an Elder?"

Murphy shrugged. "Actually… no." he said.

"How did you end up there anyway? Didn't you leave Arkadia with Jaha and a few others?"

Clarke figured now was as good as time as any to ask him what happened. She wanted to gather as much information as possible before going to Lexa and telling her Murphy's side of the story. What was surprising to the blonde was the look of disgust on his face at the mention of Jaha.

"The biggest mistake I've ever made." Clarke saw a flash of regret in his eyes. "Apart from hurting Raven."

Whatever happened at Polis, it must have done something to soften him. He seemed like a changed man, at least at this point. "What happened?"

"Jaha took us to this desert. Convinced everyone there was this city. A better place for all of us. Many of the people with us quickly gave up and left. Somehow he managed to convince me and one other guy to keep moving. Jesus I didn't even know his name." He shook his head in disbelief and continued talking. "Like a day later we saw Grounders in the distance, heading towards us. Jaha just pulled out his gun and shot the guy still with us. He claimed it was a sacrifice so that we could continue moving and find the city. He probably thought the Grounders would be occupied with him long enough for us to find a place to hide. Hide in the fucking desert, he's insane and his plan never worked anyway they caught up with us, we got knocked out and next thing I know I wake up in some prison in Polis."

Severna came walking in holding a couple of cups filled with water. She offered one to Clarke who immediately offered it to Murphy. He emptied the cup within a few seconds and while Clarke took it back he continued his story.

"Jaha was in the cell with me. Lynn came to see us once, demanding answers on kinds of questions I can't even remember. Then suddenly there was a lot of commotion outside, in the city. Before we knew it this woman shows up, Lynn calls her the Ice Queen. The way the bitch looked could most definitely be described as an Ice Queen. I've never had a woman scare the shit out of me before. She was the definition of Evil, Clarke. Really I hope you never get to meet her. She knew right away we were from the Sky People. Jaha the fool tried to talk her into letting us go, he barely said two lines before she had him dragged out of the cell and she executed him without a second thought. After that my time spent in Polis comprised of the Ice Queen of evil asking me questions I didn't even know the answer to followed by torture. And if she wasn't the one asking me questions she had one of her lackeys do it.

"I have no idea how long I was there, through all the torture the days started to blend together. Before the Queen showed up every so often a kid would sneak in and give us water, no idea why she decided to be kind to us, couldn't guess her punishment had she got caught. She kept coming back and asking questions, she seemed more curious than anything. Jaha like a fool just answered, probably thinking it might increase his chance of surviving. But it went on and on, can't really remember what about and eventually she started calling him _Ai Lukot…_ friend apparently, her name was Nova. Then came the day the Queen of evil killed Jaha, I figured the kid knew or had got caught because she never came back after that, at least not until the day we escaped. Lynn explained a little of what was happening in Polis and somehow Nova and the other kids we escaped with convinced her to free me, she said she was doing it for Nova, not for my sake. Then we escaped through a bunch of tunnels."

Murphy paused for a moment, Clarke could see all this talking was exhausting to him. He looked as though he was about to lapse into unconsciousness but she hoped to just get a little bit more information from him before he did. She offered him another cup of water and patiently waited for Murphy to finish it before speaking up.

"So what happened once you made it out of the tunnels?" she asked him.

"Didn't take long for the Ice Nation to track us down and attack us. I thought we were done for but those kids are a lot stronger than I thought. I bet the youngest one could kick my ass." he chuckled a bit at the thought and then continued. "The kid there, Cole, he basically shielded a few of the younger ones and took all the hits. He's a tough little bastard."

Clarke nodded. "Yes he is and he will be fine in time."

"Yeah, of course, whatever." he said trying to make it sound like he didn't care though his eyes showed something else but Clarke said nothing of it. "Anyways, we walked through the woods for two days. Mostly hiding from the Ice Nation who set out in full force to find us, these kids must be important. We finally ran into Severna and Jaret and that's about the last thing I remember before waking up here. Why are you here anyway? Why aren't you and your mom at Arkadia?"

Now Clarke let out a slight chuckle at his question. "That's a bit of a long story. I'll tell you another time, you should get some rest."

Clarke had barely finished speaking before he slipped into a much needed slumber. She felt sorry for him but Murphy is a survivor, he will pull through this. She sighed, it was getting late and she sure could use some rest as well. But Clarke had agreed to tell Lexa what she found out from Murphy and figured she might as well go and do this now while it was fresh in her mind.

"Severna, where is the Commander at the moment?" she asked the young woman.

"Heda concluded her council with Lynn and retired to her tent. Would you like me to take you to her, Wanheda?"

"No thanks, I can find my own way there. You stay here with my mother and look after Cole and Murphy."

Severna nodded. Before Clarke could leave she heard her mother call her name, she turned around to see that she had stopped what she was doing, her face held an inquisitive expression.

"The Commander asked me to come see her as soon as Murphy told me what happened." she explained to her mother.

"Can't that wait till tomorrow, it's getting late and you look exhausted."

"I better go see her now. I'll get some sleep afterwards. Will you be ok here with Severna?"

Abby nodded and walked over to her daughter. "I will be fine, both Cole and Murphy are stable now and if I need anything I'll ask Nyko. Good night Clarke, I'll see you tomorrow." she said hugging her daughter.

Clarke embraced the hug, happy to feel the warmth of her mother once more. They had their differences still but she was glad to be here right now. They will talk out their differences eventually. "Good night mom." she said and backed away from the hug.

Giving her mother one last smile she walked outside and headed in the direction she knew she would find Lexa. Not much later she found herself standing outside of the Commander's tent, the guards outside blocking her path as soon as they noticed she wanted to go inside.

"Heda is busy right now, you will wait." one of them said.

Clarke challenged this order from the guard. "The Commander asked to see me." she said, the tone of her voice purposely louder than normal in the hopes Lexa would hear her. Clarke hoped she would because the guards had no intention of stepping aside.

There was a moment of silence and then suddenly Lexa's voice sounded loud and clear. "Step aside and let her in." The guards complied immediately and stepped aside.

Clarke entered the tent to be greeted by the gaze of both Lexa and Anya. The blonde instantly thought she maybe should have listened to her mother and waited until morning, but it was too late she had already interrupted whatever it was they were discussing. She remained by the entrance as Anya's ever intimidating glare made her feel increasingly uneasy, after a few moments much to Clarke's relief, Lexa spoke up.

"Clarke, did you manage to talk to Murphy?"

"I did."

Anya proceeded to leave Lexa's tent and as she passed Clarke she flashed an intense cautionary look her way. Clarke wasn't really sure what the look was supposed to mean, it almost felt like a 'you break her heart, I'll break you' type of look. If that was the case she felt like Anya had absolutely no right to do that, Lexa had already broken her heart once before, though it didn't give Clarke the right to do the same to her and nor would she want to. But whatever was going on between the two of them, it was still very new and far too early to be labelled anything.

"And what did he tell you?" Lexa asked, interrupting her thoughts.

Clarke approached the table, standing opposite Lexa she proceeded to answer her question.

"He was with our former chancellor, Jaha, searching for some sort of city across the wastelands, any idea what he was talking about?"

Lexa scoffed, showing she had. "It is a rumor amongst my people. A city with nothing but peace. No one has ever found it and I doubt someone ever will. It is just a myth." she said.

Clarke frowned. "Jaha tried to find it, but he and Murphy got caught by your people and were brought to Polis. They only talked to Lynn once before Nia took control of the city. When she found out who they were she went to talk to them. Jaha tried to negotiate their freedom and he paid for it with his life. Murphy was then tortured by Nia and her people until Lynn showed up with the Novitiates and they escaped through a tunnel. During their escape a few Ice Nation warriors caught up with them but they managed to fight them off, apparently Cole is quite the skilled warrior. Then they wandered through the woods for two days until Severna and Jaret found them."

"Then his story matches with what Lynn and Nova have told me." Lexa said.

These kids and the older woman were all connected in some way and it made Clarke curious about their culture. There was a lot still she didn't know and maybe now was a good time to ask.

"Lexa? These kids, these Novitiates? They are important to you, why?" she asked.

The Commander smiled at Clarke, she looked like she had seen this question coming.

"The Novitiates are being trained to become Commander. Should I die one of them will replace me."

She had a feeling Lexa was going to say this. However, it only brought more questions. "How is it only they can be Commander?" she asked.

The smile on Lexa's face grew wider. She walked around the table until she reached Clarke's side and got hold of her hand. "Let's sit down for this." she said and guided the blonde towards her bed where she motioned Clarke to sit down while Lexa walked over a bowl of water and pulled two cups from it, handing one to Clarke and keeping the other one to herself. She went to sit down next to her and Clarke waited for the brunette to speak up.

"I'll start from the beginning, Clarke. You might hear me refer a lot to seasons, it is because seasons are very important in our culture. The start of every season is always celebrated with a feast. But it is the end of the winter, the beginning of spring that is the most important to us. At the end of every winter there is trei kom keryon which means path of the spirit. The Commander and Elders gather together at a sacred place, which is just outside of Polis. The people of the coalition can bring their children there if they are four winters old to participate in rituals where my spirit will decide if they are strong enough to become the next Commander."

This all sounded very interesting and while some questions had been answered, it brought up even more. "What do these rituals entail?" she asked Lexa.

"The rituals are tough and harsh but much needed to make sure only the strongest will be chosen to become Commander. The Elders will hold the rituals while I stand witness to them. First there is a blood oath, a cut will be made with a sacred blade in the palm of their hand. Some children already fail to get through this part. The second step the child needs to hold the spirit of the Commander while an Elder reads out an oath to the child. The Commander's spirit is represented as our sacred symbol which has been held in a pit of fire. It's very painful, only a select few make it past this and sometimes no one passes the ritual. " she explained.

A shiver ran down her spine at the thought of a four year old child having to go through this. But from all she learned of the Grounders by now it wasn't really surprising. "What does the symbol look like?" she decided to ask.

Much to her surprise Lexa removed the glove from her right hand and held the palm open for Clarke to see. A circular ring-like scar was clearly visible,, a short thick line extended through the top of the circle towards her middle finger. A second equally thick line was also visible that passed through the bottom of the ring, it bent off at an angle towards her thumb before it could connect with the other line . The blonde couldn't stop herself from tracing her fingers over it, noticing Lexa slightly shuddered at the touch. It was a scar from years ago and still the symbol was clearly visible.

"That must have been painful to go through as a four years old child." she stated while pulling away from Lexa's hand.

"It was a long time ago." she said. "But it is painful yes, it is why many children don't make it through. But it is necessary to ensure only the strongest will pass. A Commander cannot be weak."

"What happens next?"

"If a child makes it through the Commander's oath they officially become novitiates. They will be marked with a tattoo, here."

Lexa turned her back to Clarke and lowered her shirt to show a tattoo just below her left shoulder blade. There she saw the same symbol Lexa had on her hand, though this time marked with a black inked tattoo. It wasn't a very big tattoo but big enough to be recognized as a novitiate, as Lexa explained.

"The child is then forced to cut all family ties. Polis will be the novitiates new home where their training will begin and distractions such as family cannot be allowed." She explained further.

This shocked Clarke. "You were forced to cut ties with your family?"

Lexa shrugged her shoulders making it seem like she didn't really care too much about it. "I lost my parents when I was two years old. I was actually raised by Anya's Uncle until I reached the age to participate in the ritual. I have no memory of them and Anya's Uncle didn't make those two years I was with him easy for me. He wanted me to participate in the rituals because Anya attempted it but failed. I didn't really want to but he gave me no choice and those two years he raised me were not something you could describe as pleasant. As the time of the rituals was approaching I actually wanted to pass them so that I could be away from him."

"That must not have been easy." Clarke said. "But how can someone like Anya fail the rituals?"

Her question made Lexa chuckle. "Failing the rituals actually was a breaking point for Anya. She was ashamed of it and her Uncle's disappointment in her failure made Anya the warrior she is now. She became determined to train, pushing herself to unknown limits and become stronger than ever. Anya became the youngest second ever at the age of nine and her training finished when she was fourteen years old. Her uncle had died shortly before that but never showed interest in her progress. She spent her life trying to impress him and he never acknowledged her for it."

Clarke wondered if that was the reason why Anya could be so cold hearted. Working your entire childhood to make your Uncle proud only to have him show no affection towards you for it, that must not have been easy for Anya and it could definitely affect someone's emotions.

"Of course, I didn't learn any of this until I became her second because I did not have any contact outside of Polis. Well, almost no contact, I did have a friend though. He kept coming to see me after I moved to Polis by finding ways into the city. Then we would sneak to some quiet place and play for a while. That lasted for quite some years until he was discovered by Lynn. She told him to leave and never come back which was lenient for someone like her because he could have been punished, like me. But she only brought me to the Commander for punishment. Despite all this I never forgot about him and when I became Commander I sought him out but no longer for friendship, but for his knowledge of the tunnels leading in and out of Polis. Do you recall that moment earlier today where I reprimanded one of my people at the TonDC training grounds?"

Clarke didn't have to think long to know who Lexa was referring to. It was that tall woman who made Clarke feel incredibly anxious, she shivered just thinking about her.

"Easy to recall that moment, Lexa. That woman clearly showed that she didn't like me. Keara's her name, right?" she asked but wondered why Lexa suddenly changed to a completely different subject.

The brunette nodded. "Yes. She brought in a prisoner for me today. His name is Rylan. While we were at the mountain Nia took control of Polis by using the many tunnels leading into Polis. She shouldn't have known about them. Only me and Rylan did."

Suddenly Clarke started to connect the dots together. "The prisoner, Rylan, he's the one. He's your friend?" she asked.

"He _was_ my friend." Lexa quickly said. "Now he is a traitor. Though he claims he gave Nia the maps to the tunnels because his son's life was threatened. I have people looking into this right now and we should know more within a couple of days."

Clarke's eyes widened as she realized what the brunette was planning. "If his story checks out you want to save his son and then use Rylan's knowledge of the tunnels to get back control of Polis?"

However, Lexa gave off a less than convincing look at Clarke's words.

"It is too soon to tell. But it's certainly a possibility depending how events turn out. One step at the time, first I need to know if Rylan is telling the truth."

Clarke just stared at Lexa with eyes of admiration. It amazed her at how brilliant and smart Lexa was for her age. Clarke was still trying to get used to this leadership role and a lot of decisions she made were of desperation, fear and panic. But Lexa, as young as she is, was acting as if she'd been doing it for decades. But while this was something to be amazed about, Clarke also wondered what her childhood must have been like, if she even had one. Training to become Commander must have been difficult and brutal and yet a gentle soul somehow remained behind the many layers Lexa forced upon herself. Clarke counted herself lucky to have been able to get past all the layers and see for herself that there is more to Lexa than just being the Commander.

"Is something wrong, Clarke?"

Her distracted thoughts clearly hadn't gone unnoticed by Lexa. The blonde quickly shook her head in reassurance.

"No, I'm fine. Just tired. It's been a long day."

Without hesitation Lexa gently placed her hands on Clarke's cheeks. Her emerald eyes locked on Clarke's tired blue eyes. The Sky Girl was fairly sure the bags under her eyes were clearly visible. Lexa tilted her head up a bit, studying her face. "You look tired." She said, leaning forward and placing a kiss on her forehead.

"It's been a long day. Training with you, the argument with my mother and Raven and then looking after Murphy and Cole."

"How is Cole doing?" Lexa asked, her hands remaining on Clarke's cheeks, thumbs gently caressing Clarke's skin.

"Alright under the circumstances, he will need time to recover." Clarke said. "He's a strong kid. But I guess if you are chosen to become Commander that's to be expected."

Lexa just nodded, leaning forward again to place another kiss on her forehead. Shifting her hands behind Clarke's head she planted another kiss on her cheek. She continued to place soft and gentle kisses until she reached Clarke's lips. At this point Clarke turned her head to meet with Lexa's lips and tangled her fingers through the brunette locks. Dragging her tongue across Clarke's lips Lexa deepened the kiss, this caused a shiver to run down Clarke's spine and a moan escaped her lips. She closed her eyes enjoying every second of the kiss until suddenly Lexa pulled away.

Clarke immediately opened her eyes, worried and wondering why. But as her blue eyes were locked with Lexa's emerald ones all her worries faded. She took a shaky breath, lips trembling before she leaned forward to continue the kiss. Tongue pressing down on the soft and trembling lips of the Commander until they parted and she delved inside. The kiss was more fiery than the previous ones they shared. It was demanding, it was hot and the heat was begging for more. It was clear that Clarke wasn't the only one feeling this. She suddenly felt Lexa's hand reach under her shirt, fingers slowly trailing down her spine.

Pulling away from the kiss, Clarke took in a deep breath. As her eyes opened she felt heat rising from the center of her body when she was greeted by the darkened and passionate eyes of the brunette in front of her. "Clarke… " the Commander said with a husky voice, one word was all she managed before Clarke once more leaned forward, planting quick but heated kisses on Lexa's cheek before trailing down to her neck. Lexa pushed her head back as the blonde gently placed her lips down where she could feel Lexa's racing pulse.

Lexa's fingers trailed down Clarke's side and over her abdomen. The Commander ran them up further until they came in close proximity of her breasts. It was then that Lexa stopped and looked back down at Clarke. The blonde looked up and saw questionable eyes looking down at her, asking for permission to continue. Sadly, Clarke never had the chance to give that permission.

"Heda, I need to speak to you, can I come in?"

Clarke could hear Lexa curse under her breath, scowling at the fact that it was the second time today they were being interrupted in the heat of the moment. It was Lynn's voice, Clarke had only met her today but after the woman assaulted her mother Clarke was fairly sure she wouldn't forget that voice ever again. The blonde could only smile at the disappointment Lexa showed on her face. She softly placed a kiss on Lexa's cheek before leaning forward, nuzzling her head against Lexa's shoulder. Lexa happily wrapped her arms around the Sky Girl and pulled her in closer while she gently placed her hand on the back of Clarke's head.

"Heda?" Clarke heard Lynn call out again worryingly when Lexa didn't respond.

"Wait outside, Lynn. You can come in shortly." Lexa called out to the older woman.

The silence that followed told Clarke that the woman seemed to be doing what Lexa ordered her. Clarke just sighed, digging her head further into Lexa's shoulder and breathing in the familiar scent of the brunette. She wished she could stay like this forever, just the two of them, right here and now without the worries of the outside world. But that was never going to happen and sadness overtook her when Lexa pulled away, hands placed gently on her shoulder while their eyes locked together. Lexa reached for a blonde lock that was hanging in front of Clarke's eyes and tucked it behind the Sky Girl's ear.

"I'm sorry, Clarke."

"It's okay, Lexa." she said and with pain in her heart she got back to her feet. "I should probably go before she gets suspicious."

The Commander stood back on her feet too but she chuckled at Clarke's words. "Clarke, the moment you go outside she will get suspicious. For a woman who sees love as weakness, she is very good at recognizing it. She will know." the brunette explained.

"Does it matter?" Clarke wondered.

"Lynn has spent most of my life trying to convince me love is weakness. And though I might have once believed it, I now know it's not. She will do what she can to try and prove me otherwise."

To Clarke that sounded rather disturbing but Lexa seemed relaxed about it, she realized the elder and the Commander must have had many disagreements in the past. Lexa noticed the worry in Clarke's eyes and stepped forward to place a soft kiss on her lips. Then she walked past Clarke and sat down on her throne with her legs crossed.

"Go Clarke, I will be fine. Nothing she will say will change my mind." she reassured her.

Clarke nodded and made her way out of the tent. She couldn't help but look at Lynn on her way out, Lexa was right, it was obvious she suspected something. She just silently gazed at Clarke with a judgemental look, Clarke was determined she wouldn't let this woman intimidate her and brushed past her. After a few steps she glanced over her shoulder and saw the woman stepping inside of Lexa's tent. She sighed and continued towards her own tent. Clarke tried not to be worried, if Lexa says she can handle Lynn she trusts her. And she really did, but Clarke couldn't help but think that in the coming days this woman was going to cause problems. Maybe not just between Clarke and Lexa, but also between Trikru and Skaikru.

She was finally back in her own tent, alone, disappointed to once again have been interrupted in an intimate moment with Lexa. Clarke wanted nothing more than to collapse on to the bed and drift off into a slumber, however her clothes were covered with dirt and she herself was in need of a good wash. A water bowl and some clean rags had been left for her on a table so she put them to good use. Once cleaned up she put on the fresh clothing that had been left on her bed and lay down, before she knew it she fell into a deep slumber.

* * *

The next day Clarke was sure she had finally discovered what hell felt like. It was early afternoon, exhausted and feeling like every bone in her body was ready to break she finally planted herself in front of the fire pit. She felt sweat everywhere, her dirt covered shirt clung to her skin. The day had not gone the way she planned and she knew from the moment she had been abruptly awakened from her sleep it was going to be hell. Clarke had looked forward to another training session with Lexa but instead she had the displeasure of Anya waking her who had forcefully yanked the furs off of Clarke's bed, taking the blonde down with it causing her to land painfully on the floor of her tent.

As Clarke lay on the floor looking up at her tent in a mild daze, wondering what just happened, Anya stepped over her looking down with a slight grin. She informed the blonde that Lexa had important matters to attend to and was unavailable to train with her, but also that she would take Lexa's place for the day, Clarke knew from that moment the day was going to be horrible. And she was right, no weapon training, and no hand to hand combat. All Anya had Clarke do was run through the woods, pitting the terrain and the elements against her. Pushing her to go faster each time and only stopping for short breaks when she allowed, not when Clarke needed.

Clarke lost count quite early in the day how many times she had fallen over or from a tree, her body was battered but Anya didn't ease up, after a short break it was on to running through streams. Clarke found this particularly difficult as the terrain was not always clearly visible and with each fall Anya couldn't hide her amusement. One consolation was that Octavia was suffering Anya's training too, although she was in much better shape than Clarke and was more used to Grounder ways. Inevitably Octavia became exhausted and seemed just as glad as Clarke when Anya said they were done for the day.

Octavia had gone off to get cleaned up, Clarke instead decided to take a breather and rest a little by a nearby fire. She sat alone with her thoughts for a few minutes until she heard approaching footsteps, in her exhaustion she didn't pay much attention until the person sat down next to her. Looking to her right her eyes widened when she saw a tired yet recognizable face. It was Kensi, who simply offered the young blonde a kind smile. Clarke took notice of her injuries, they were healing albeit slowly.

"You don't look so good, Prisa." she said smirking.

A snicker escaped Clarke's lips. "Like you look any better, I'm surprised you are back on your feet already."

"The level of pain has become bearable. I will be fine." she said. "Have you been training with Anya?"

Clarke felt her shoulders slump at that question. "Please, I am trying to forget todays hell as quickly as I can."

Her words only made Kensi chuckle. "I have been trained by Anya on several occasions. She is brutal, but it is needed to become a good warrior." she said. "The girl I saw with you earlier, who was she?"

"Octavia, she was Indra's second for a while. She's here for Lincoln, do you know him?"

"I do, not that well but well enough. I heard of the kill order."

"Octavia and Lincoln are together, she is here to ask the Commander to lift the kill order so that they both don't have to be in Arkadia anymore and he can come back here."

A frown showed on Kensi's features. "Lincoln's crimes are similar to mine. Though to a far greater extent. Heda will not just let it go. If not a kill order she will have to come up with an alternative way to punish Lincoln. He and Octavia will be better off just staying at your home. "

Clarke shakes her head. "It isn't my home. There was a reason why you found me in the woods, Kensi." she stated.

Kensi said nothing at first and just inched closer to the fire, holding her hands close to it to take in the warmth of the flames.

"But they are your people. You all came from the sky." she said. "And without your leadership, your actions, many of your people would have been dead."

"That doesn't mean Arkadia is my home." Clarke retorts. "Kensi, many of my people think of yours only as savages. They forget we're no longer in space and that the rules have changed. I care for my people, a lot and I will keep protecting them as much as I can. But Arkadia will never be my home."

Kensi gives her an acknowledging look. "I understand, Prisa. I did not intend to disrespect you."

Clarke smiled. "You didn't, don't worry." she said. "But it's good to know you have respect for me."

Suddenly Kensi's expression changed from relaxed to a more serious one. "Wanheda. Please do not sell yourself short. Not only I respect you but many of our people do. As you said yourself, your people are not very open to our culture. But you have proven that you are, on many occasions."

"Thank you, Kensi. But Lynn and Keara don't seem to agree with you on that. Even though I've not exchanged a single word with either women they clearly showed that they weren't very impressed by me."

Kensi pulled her hands away from the fire and crossed her legs to try and get herself in a more comfortable position. Clarke saw her slightly flinch at the pain it caused her tortured body but she didn't say anything as it was clear that Kensi was going to speak up again, eyes locking with Clarke's.

"Lynn I do not know very well. But she is an elder, I can understand how she sees you and your people as a threat to Heda. But Keara. She is… different. Keara needs facts. She was not present at the mountain, she does not know you and that is reason for her not trusting you. Keara is a highly skilled assassin and scout. Apart from Heda and Anya she's most likely the best trained Trikru warrior. She does not trust easily, but once she has actually witnessed for herself what you are capable off, Prisa, she will come around. Trust me on that."

The description Kensi gave of Keara reminded Clarke of the moment she first saw the woman. The way she was dressed and the way she looked fitted rather well with that description and Clarke wished she would never find herself in a moment where she would anger Keara. Though Clarke doubts that the Commander would ever allow her to harm Clarke.

"I'll take your word for it." she said, shifting closer to the fire. She watched as Kensi pulled out a piece of cloth from a pouch and placed it gently on the cut at her cheek, slightly flinching. Once again Clarke sniffed in the scent she had smelled back on the day Kensi saved her life and when Clarke took a similar cloth from the saddle Kensi's horse to use it on Aden.

"What is that?" she asked the dark haired woman.

Kensi raised an eyebrow at Clarke. "Well, a piece of cloth of course." she said with a smirk.

Her words made Clarke chuckle a bit. "This must be the first time ever that I've heard someone from Trikru make a joke, but I'm pretty sure you know what I meant."

"I do. It's coated with a mixture that…" she fell silent suddenly and sadness showed on her face. She swallowed deeply before speaking up. "I had someone really close to me in Selin, she taught me how to make it. It's ingredients can only be found in Podakru territory."

It was obvious to Clarke that this important someone Kensi was referring to was no longer alive. But Clarke wasn't sure if she should pry Kensi about it. However, Kensi already noticed the internal battle going on inside of Clarke's head and made the decision for her.

"Yes Prisa, she is dead and I loved her. I still do." she said softly.

"What was her name?" Clarke wondered.

"Natshana."

"What was she like?" Clarke continued to ask. "Or would you rather not talk about it?"

But Kensi just smiled, pressing the cloth down on the cut once more. "I don't mind. She was beautiful, very free spirited and often tested my patience and challenged me. She was also a very skilled scout. But no matter her skills, unfortunately our relationship was discovered and I was forced to kill her to hide my role as Heda's spy."

Clarke swallowed deeply. Had she not been looking Kensi in the eyes it would appear as though she had no trouble talking about it, but she was and Clarke could see the grief on the woman's face. It was clear to Clarke it wasn't her first time talking about this. The Sky Girl wondered what would have made Kensi kill the woman she loved, it was a question Kensi had already seen coming.

"On the day she was about to escape the village and defect to Trikru she was discovered. The very woman who tried to kill Heda two nights ago was the one responsible for this. She and Colioh confronted me, said if I really wasn't a spy I would kill Natshana to prove myself. Natshana knew her life was forfeit the moment she was caught. With one look she told me to do it so that at least one of us would stay alive, she sacrificed herself to save my life."

And Clarke thought she had gone through some tough ordeals during her life on the ground. But Kensi hadn't had an easy life herself, first losing her father, thinking he was dead only to come to the horrific discovery he had been made into a Reaper , killed her own mother after being captured and tortured by Reapers. And to have to kill the woman she loved to not only save her life and hide her identity as a spy, it sounded like something unimaginable. How Kensi was still sane and a kind hearted woman was beyond Clarke.

Though Clarke did know what it was like to kill someone you deeply care about. She had ended Finn's life but knows now that what she felt for him wasn't the same as what Kensi felt for Natshana. Nonetheless she cared for him and she didn't want him to suffer the horrible fate that was waiting for him. Though if Clarke knew then what she knows now, she wouldn't have stopped it. What Finn did was unforgivable. She knew she had more blood on her hands than he did but the lives she had taken had all been to protect her people. With two exceptions maybe, she thought, remembering how she shot Dante Wallace and the Mountain Man that threatened to kill Lincoln.

"I killed someone I cared about too." she said. "He killed innocent people here in TonDC."

Kensi nods. "I heard the story. You killed him before my people could punish him accordingly. He was your lover?"

Clarke sighed and took a deep breath. "He felt like that back then. But I know now that he wasn't. I cared for him though, and despite the things he did I didn't want him to suffer. He kept calling me princess, just like you." she said, chuckling at this realization.

Kensi looked worried. "I did not know, I will stop saying it then." she offered.

But her words made Clarke shake her head. "No. I didn't mean it like that. I like it actually, it's a nice change from Wanheda." she said, forcing a smile on her face.

Kensi put the piece of cloth back into her pouch and once again shifted her position to try and sit more comfortable. This time stretching her legs forward and leaning back on the palms of her gloved hands.

"You will get used to it.

"I think I already have, it's just nice to hear something other than Wanheda." she admitted and Clarke really meant it. She was used to the title by now, but she liked Kensi calling her Prisa. Much more so than Anya yelling Skaigada at her during training today.

She found herself smiling, maybe this day wasn't as bad as she thought after all. Waking up to Anya's smug face, followed by a brutal training session from the woman was definitely not on her to do list. But the talk she was having right now with Kensi felt good. To Clarke it felt like there was a friendship forming between the two of them, though still probably in it's early stages. If someone had told her months ago that she would become friends with a Grounder she would have never believed it. But ever since the battle at the Mountain a lot had changed.

Clarke was training to become a warrior like most of the Grounders. There was no denying that she was falling in love with Lexa and slowly forming a bond with Kensi. In these troubled times it felt good that there were at least some moments where she didn't have to think as a leader and could just be the girl she is; Clarke Griffin.

* * *

Ever since speaking to Aden and the elderly woman earlier Raven had been trying to find a moment to talk to Clarke, yesterday she was unable to even find the blonde, let alone an opportune moment to speak to her. Maybe she was going out of her way to avoid Raven, honestly the engineer wouldn't blame her, she knew what she had said was way below the belt. Yes Clarke may have said some unkind words as well but compared to what Raven said they were insignificant. Raven knew she was in the wrong here, a feeling of guilt roamed the pit of her stomach, she had to make it right.

What worried Raven though was that of all people to finally get past her stubbornness and make her think of the Grounders as more than just barbaric savages, it came down to a young boy and an older woman who could barely speak the same language. Raven always knew she could be a difficult person, had Abby not drilled some sense into her back at Arkadia the situation might have played out very differently, she may not of even given Aden the time of day. But she did and it opened her eyes, she wasn't going to welcome them like she would someone from Arkadia but it was an important step she had taken. Her next step was to make amends with Clarke and hope in time she would forgive her.

Had they still been at the dropship Raven was almost certain she would forgive her, but a lot has happened since then and Clarke has changed a lot. Her decision to not return to Arkadia after the events at Mount Weather may not have been so bad after all, it had made her a much stronger person, but Raven still couldn't help but feel abandoned by Clarke's actions. Her thoughts snapped back to reality when she finally noticed the blonde sitting by the fire pit talking to another Grounder woman, both smiling as they talked, it was obvious they were getting along.

Raven swallowed deeply and gingerly made her way towards the two women. Once she was only a few meters away the blonde noticed her, as their eyes met her kind smile turned into a more sullen look of displeasure. Clarke cleared her throat and shifted in her place, her discomfort did not go unnoticed by the Grounder woman who then proceeded to just stare at Raven with a look of caution and distrust. It really amazed the engineer just how much respect the Grounders have for her.

She refused to let herself be intimidated by the woman and approached Clarke.

"Hey Clarke"

To no surprise Clarke remained silent. Raven refused to take her gaze off her but could feel the eyes of the other woman practically burning a hole in her skull. Breaking the awkward silence Raven spoke up again.

"Could we maybe talk?" she asked and then turned her gaze to the Grounder woman, "Alone".

Raven looked back at Clarke with a persistent stare until it looked like she had finally made a decision; the blonde then turned to the Grounder woman and just gave her a reassuring nod. As the Grounder woman struggled to her feet she placed a hand on Clarke's shoulder,

"Ste yuj, Wanheda"

Now it was just the two of them sat opposite each other around the fire, Clarke just stared down at the flames. Raven could feel the palms of her hands starting to sweat, she was nervous, a rare moment for the usually confident brunette. She did her best to suppress the feeling as she thought about how to start.

"Listen, Clarke... " she started. "I'm not really good at this shit but I know what I said about your dad was out of line. It's just… I tend to set up this emotional barrier and when I feel it's breached I lash out and say stupid shit like that because my thick skull gets the best of me. Your mom knows all about it, I said stupid and insulting things to her all the time."

If looks could kill Raven was certain she would be dead when Clarke looked away from the fire and aimed her angry blue eyes at her. "So that just makes it alright to insult my father and hurt me?" she said on a bitter tone.

"I didn't say that."

"Then what are you trying to say here, Raven?"

"Well if you can just let me finish talking, for starters." she sneered at Clarke and immediately clenched her jaw, realizing she was becoming defensive again. The last thing Raven wanted was this to end up in a similar argument they had yesterday. She briefly closed her eyes and inhaled some air, making sure she wasn't going to say something stupid again.

"What I am saying is that I want to apologize for what I said about your dad, I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."

Raven felt a shiver run down her spine. She actually said it and now reacted as if it's the toughest thing she ever had to do. And the worst part is that Clarke still hadn't said anything back. The level of anger in her eyes had dropped but she still didn't say anything and that really didn't help the nerves that were clawing through her stomach.

"Clarke, can you just say something? Anything? I mean if you are holding back to scold at my sorry ass please don't. Just yell, tell me to go float myself or something but don't just sit there and stare at me, it's creeping me out."

For a second Raven could have sworn she saw a slight smirk on Clarke's lips but it quickly faded. She saw the blonde divert her eyes to the ground below her, she swallowed deeply and then looked back at Raven.

"It's… I don't know Raven. I'm not good at this kind of thing either. I think we've been at odds plenty of times since we landed on the ground and what you said about my dad isn't even the worst that's bothering me. I know our argument started because you are angry with me for leaving after what happened at the mountain."

Clarke paused for a moment and took a deep breath before speaking up again.

"I meant what I said about the Ark, it's been a prison to me, just looking at it gives me nothing but bad memories. That combined with the events at the mountain made me decide to not come back. Maybe at the time not the best choice to make, but eventually I ended up with the Commander and from that moment I have been trying to do what I believe is the right thing for my people.

"Arkadia might not be my home, but that doesn't mean I don't feel like I need to protect it. I like to think that what we did at the mountain is enough proof of that. So yeah, you hurt me with what you said about my dad. I hurt you by killing Finn and I can keep on pointing out moments where we've been at odds. We don't have to be best friends Raven, we probably never will be. But I need to know if we are on the same page here. We are no longer up in space. We need to stop relying so much on technology and realize that in order to survive we need to be more open to Grounder culture and respect the fact that we basically invaded into their land and should be grateful they haven't attacked us full force yet. You may not like the Commander but without her we probably all would have been dead."

Raven was speechless, a rare moment for her, she expected yelling and anger from Clarke. Instead the blonde was completely calm and her words were precise and true. Clarke had definitely changed since the last time they saw each other. There was a conversation she had once with Abby about Clarke still only being just a kid. That day the brunette told Abby that her daughter stopped being a kid the moment she sent her down to earth to die, from that moment till this very day that couldn't be more true. And Clarke had not just stopped being a kid. She had become so much more; she had become a leader who had to make terrible decisions and yet managed to pull through all the terrible things she had done to save her people.

Now a new danger lurks around the corner and while no one asked her to she once more took on the responsibility of a leader, while her own mother had shown the complete opposite and refused to do anything when they were told about the inevitable war to come. And were it not for some convincing arguments they might not even have been here and the Grounders would never have agreed to help them to get through the winter. The older woman from yesterday was right; they are Grounders now too and Clarke knew this better than anyone. But for Raven as an Engineer it was not as easy to accept, however she was now determined to do anything she can to change this.

Through all her thinking Raven didn't realize she been staring blankly at the fire; she quickly turned her gaze to Clarke and nodded.

"I can't say that I am on the same page as you just yet, Clarke. I think you are like at the end of the book that I've only just started. But I get it now, I understand why you ran and I am glad you have done what you could to protect us. When Indra came to tell us about the Ice Nation your mother and the Council thought that wasn't going to be our problem and just did nothing. But when it comes to technology… Clarke it's all I know. I will do what I can to make sure Arkadia stays up and running. Hell, I wouldn't know what to do without it."

Raven was relieved to see Clarke smile at her. "I know Raven and a lot of our people will struggle to be more open. If we can show the Grounders we are able to be accepting of the ways they've adopted then maybe they can do the same and Arkadia can benefit all of our people, It's a big advantage to have in many prospects. A good defense should the Ice Nation decide to attack us. A good medical facility, it's not just something we should give up on. All I'm saying is that everyone should be ready if there will ever be a moment where all this is going to end. We are Grounders now whether people like it or not."

"People will, they just need time. This deal we made for the winter is a good first step." she said and watched as Clarke got to her feet.

"Yes it is." she agreed. "But I have to go now, talk to you later okay."

Clarke turned around with the intention to leave but Raven quickly called out to her. "Clarke?" She stopped and turned to face the Engineer, waiting for Raven to speak up. "As you said we might never be close friends but thanks for listening to me."

There was only a slight hint of a smile on the face of Abby's daughter. "Yeah, sure…" And then Clarke turned around again and Raven watched as she slowly disappeared into the distance.

The Engineer felt relieved. She was glad to finally be able to talk to Clarke and apologize. As both girls concluded they didn't have to be best friends but at least now they both had talked out their differences and could now focus on protecting their people and making sure they will get through the winter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you liked my way of describing how to become Commander. Feel free to share if you have any feedback on this.  
> Translations:
> 
> Lukot en Baga - Friend and Foe
> 
> Klir of Abi kom Skaikru - Let go of Abby of the Sky People
> 
> Shh yujon. yu gonplei nou ste odon kom nau. - Shh strong one. Your fight is not yet over.
> 
> Chit nou frag ai op... na teik ai gon mou yuj. - What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.
> 
> Name explanatoins:
> 
> Cole - College Park Maryland
> 
> Nova - Canova Virginia
> 
> Lynn - Brooklyn New York
> 
> Keara is pronounced as Kyra, I don't think I explained this yet.


	9. Hod in en Dula

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa has to act quickly when it comes to the spies Echo had exposed. There is some time for Clexa. And there is also Raven and Arkadia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9 is finally here. I guess I could keep saying sorry but I did tell you all at the start of the story that I cannot make any promises when it comes to updating. My life is just too busy for it. And unfortunately for you all it will take me even longer to post the next chapter. I am going away on holiday and in that time I will not be able to write.
> 
> Anyways, thanks again for your support, I really appreciate it. And a special thanks to Andi for being such a great help with the translations. :-D

Rasha, Lexa's ever loyal companion slowed her pace as her rider pulled at the reins, Niylah's well-known trading post had just become visible in the dense woodland. They had departed TonDC before sunrise, a gentle morning breeze swept through the towering trees. It had been a busy few days ever since the novitiates arrived from Polis; greeting the clan leaders and representatives and showing them to their accommodation in the village as they arrived, speaking with Keara who had returned with Rylan to inform her that scouts were now following the Ice Nation man that likely knew where his son was being held.

Lexa had also received reports from Indra, the situation there had greatly improved since Colioh's death and she too would return to TonDC sooner than expected, along with Thoni to be present at the leader's meeting. She also had a final meeting with Abby and Raven regarding the agreed upon supplies, as well as a more private talk with Nyc over the travelling merchant that Echo identified as a spy. Nyc knew him and mentioned that he regularly stopped by the trading post. The Commander did not hesitate to order a couple of scouts to question Niylah about the suspected spy, the trader informed the scouts that the man had not long visited her post and that he should be on his way to Polis. The scouts managed to catch up to him and now held him captive at Niylah's post.

In all the time that had passed Lexa had not been able to train Clarke or even see her at all. Their intimate moment together before Lynn interrupted it was the last time she saw her. Lexa would be lying if she denied that it didn't affect her, she really missed those beautiful blue eyes and blonde locks. However, Lexa had a gut feeling that the next time they saw each other again Clarke wouldn't be very happy with her. Without giving the blonde a heads up she told Anya to take over the training sessions as Lexa would have been too busy to do it, she could understand that must not have been a welcome surprise.

As soon as the news about Racu arrived Lexa ordered Kensi, Timor and ten warriors to accompany her to the trading post. She wanted to handle the situation away from TonDC to ensure that as few people as possible knew about this. As soon as they arrived at the trading post Lexa issued orders to the warriors to secure a perimeter, Timor was told to guard the door and only Kensi followed the Commander inside Niylah's shop where she was standing behind the counter. At the back of the shop two of Lexa's scouts were guarding the door but as soon as they noticed her walking in they walked inside and moments later returned with Racu.

Lexa first turned her attention to Nyilah. "You have done well, Niylah, your assistance in this matter is appreciated." She said.

"Of course, Heda. I will leave so you can get started."

Niylah only managed a few steps before Lexa stopped her. "No, you will stay here. You have done a lot of trading with him, if he says anything you know to be a lie, tell me."

"Heda, I do not know him that well, her merely comes here for trading." she said slightly hesitant.

"Did I give you an option to refuse my order?" Lexa said sternly.

She saw Niylah's eyes widen with worry, realizing her mistake. She quickly shook her head. "No Heda, moba. I will do as my Commander asks of me."

Her commanding eyes lingered on Niylah for a few more moments before she turned and headed towards the table where Racu had been forced to sit at. Lexa sat opposite Racu as the two scouts remained at his back holding him in his chair, making sure he would not try to attempt an escape or harm her.

He looked calm. His hands, bound together by rope, rested on the edge of the table. His eyes showed no emotion but as Lexa sat down he looked past her, pretending she wasn't there and avoiding eye contact. It was clear to Lexa that getting information from this man was not going to be easy. A few simple questions will have to do for now to get a better picture of what type of man she was up against.

"You are Racu kom Azgeda, yes?" she asked him.

He remained silent. So she asked her second question. "Are you a traveling merchant?"

But once again her question was answered with silence. She could see the two scouts behind him burning holes in the back of his skull with their eyes, all she had to do was give them the signal and they would beat him until she tells them to stop. But she wouldn't, just from the way he emitted his confidence and the way he avoided her gaze and questions she knew instantly that this man was loyal to the bone, he would never betray Nia.

"I see… so you are loyal to your Queen."

Lexa leaned back in her chair and watched how his eyes lit and a smirk showed on his face at the mention of his Queen. She hoped to persuade him, to turn him on his Queen so that he could continue his role as a merchant and Nia wouldn't discover that Lexa was aware of her spies. But that was no longer an option. Threats and torture would not change this, the other option was try to manipulate him but with how strongly he supports Nia that would take time, time that she did not have.

"You are a fool."

Racu finally spoke up and it was no surprise his words were arrogant and way too confident.

"You are weak, you sided with the enemy, an enemy that has haunted our people for generations. You should have gone to war, your decision shows the weak leader that you are and Nia will end you."

The stoic look on her face remained, a man like him did not even come close to getting under her skin. His words only made it easier for her to form a decision on what to do so she turned to the two scouts behind him to issue an order to them.

"Take him outside."

The words had barely left her mouth before the two scouts hauled him to his feet and dragged him outside, making no effort to be gentle with him at all. Lexa turned to Niylah before following them outside.

"He was on his way to Polis, would he go there straight away or would he have made stops?" she asked while walking to exit the building, Niylah following closely.

"With the trades we made today he would have made stops, three in total and the second stop is at Dora's, which means he will spend the night at her tavern and continue the next day, he would reach Polis tomorrow around midday."

That meant that Lexa had till midday tomorrow to come up with a plan on how to handle the situation. When it came to Otta she couldn't care what happened to the head guard. Nia might kill her, not wanting to risk the woman being captured and giving away secrets but Lexa found herself not being able to care. But Gara on the other hand, he was Echo's brother and Nia will know that the information about the spies came from her. If Gara's loyalty really wasn't towards Nia but only towards his sister Lexa had to find a way to get him out of Polis.

"Heda can I ask you something?"

The words from the trading girl interrupted her thoughts but she nodded at the blonde woman.

"Is Wanheda still with you?"

"Of course she is." She wondered briefly why Niylah would ask this. "Why do you ask, Niylah?"

Suddenly a slight blush covered Niylah's cheeks. "She often visited me during her time in the woods. I have grown to like her in that time and was wondering how she is doing."

If the words hadn't betrayed her, the blush on her cheeks did. Lexa was an expert at reading people and it didn't take her long to suddenly realize that Niylah and Clarke had been intimate together at least once. The Commander instantly clenched her teeth to try and push away the overwhelming feeling of jealousy.

"Wanheda is fine but she is no longer of your concern. Go back to your duties, Niylah."

It was a sneer, a sneer which she did her best to make it sound like an order and leave out the feeling of jealousy. Lexa could face a room filled with clan leaders and representatives, she could fight wars and debate her way out of everything. But jealousy was an unfamiliar feeling and she didn't know how to handle it. The confused look on Niylah's face showed she was surprised by the sudden change of tone in Lexa's voice. But Lexa quickly managed to recover into her stoicism and aimed her piercing eyes at the trading girl, she understood the message and knew there was no room for debate.

"Of course Heda." she said and did just what Lexa asked of her and went about her duties.

Lexa swallowed deeply, ensuring one more time that she was in complete control of her emotions before she left the building. The two scouts holding Racu were waiting for her just outside and she found Kensi at her side as soon as she stepped outside while Timor remained at the door to the trading post, remaining there until the Commander told him otherwise.

Racu had been forced on his knees but Lexa wanted him on his feet for this. With one swift motion of her hand she indicated for the scouts to lift him up and they immediately complied. Racu remained ever so calm but was no doubt aware of the fate that awaits him. Lexa didn't care, if he was willing to die for his Queen she might as well grant his wish. She could not manipulate him into working for her, beating him to get information also was waste of time and she already had Echo who was far more willing to cooperate than him. Death was the only solution here.

This man wasn't even worth a second thought, nor was it worth it to speak any more words towards him. Lexa simply reached for her dagger and placed the tip at the side of his neck. Still Racu didn't waver, which she thought was a bit of a shame but she had the satisfaction at least to know that she was about to end the life of one of Nia's spies, that will have to do. No warning was given as she applied pressure on the hilt and forced the blade to pierce his skin, slowly but painfully. As the blade moved further and further into his neck, Racu started choking on his own blood and from the lack of air he was breathing in. Once his eyes rolled back Lexa pulled the knife out and as she stepped back Racu's body slumped to the ground, his lifeless eyes glaring at one of Lexa's warriors as he drifted into nothingness.

"Burn his body."

Then looking at the two scouts in front of her while cleaning her knife. "You will both go to Arkadia as quickly as possible and retrieve Lincoln for me." she paused shortly to use the knife and cut a piece of fabric from her sash. "Make sure he wears this visibly so that it is known he is under my protection and the kill order is lifted temporarily."

One of the scouts took the fabric and nodded at his Commander. Lexa briefly watched them hurrying to their horses then faced Timor, motioning him forward.

"Heda." he said, dipping his chin once before Lexa made her way to Rasha and removed a parchment from the saddle bag. She quickly scrambled some notes on them before folding it together and handing it to Timor.

"You will go to TonDC, also as quickly as you can and hand this to Keara. A lot is at stake here, Timor and time is of the essence, I need her ready with the answer as soon as I arrive back at TonDC."

Timor showed he understood. "Of course Heda." he said, looking slightly proud to have been given such an important task.

Kensi stepped next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You will have to make shortcuts through the woods, Timor. Just as I have taught you. It will be dangerous, you will need to take routes where the Ice Nation will have scouts and patrols, one mistake and they will either kill you or capture you for interrogation. Do this, and your training as a second will be completed."

The words had taken him completely by surprise, his eyes lit up and he was rendered speechless for a second. "Go now, Timor." Kensi said, snapping him out of his surprised daze.

While Timor left to do what was commanded of him Lexa looked at Kensi with a set of approving eyes. "I was wondering when that was going to happen. I have faith in his abilities, you have trained him well as a second, Kensi."

"Thank you, Heda. I know he is of the Lake People but I was hoping he would get a place amo-"

Kensi didn't get to finish talking as Lexa interrupted her.

"Of course he will have a place amongst Trikru, you need not ask Kensi. Now let's go, we have to be back at TonDC as quickly as possible."

* * *

A smile formed on her face when Raven opened the hood of the rover to give it some much needed maintenance. She missed this, she missed her shop and her work here as an Engineer, or more specifically at the moment as a mechanic. Not that she was bothered by the leading role she had been giving by supervising the supply runs between TonDC and Arkadia, on the contrary, she enjoyed it a lot. Having spoke to Clarke before leaving really lifted a heavy weight from her shoulders. It had definitely made the supply run a lot easier to do and the remaining runs was actually something she was looking forward to. Though she was only slightly disappointed by Nyc being assigned as the Trikru supervisor of these runs, but considering his role as a diplomat it came as no surprise to her.

They hadn't said much to each other on their way to Arkadia. They had only discussed the things they had to due to their roles in the shipments but didn't say anything more than necessary. Despite talking to Clarke and the old lady at TonDC she still had no desire to be more open towards him. Raven was certain she made this clear because Nyc always kept his distance during the trip to Arkadia, but she didn't let this ruin her mood for the remaining runs. She enjoyed doing it and it was nice to be out of Arkadia even though she enjoys being there.

Now back at Arkadia and the matter of the first supply run behind them, Sinclair paid Raven a visit and asked if she wouldn't mind looking at one of the Rovers that had started showing signs of engine problems. He didn't have to ask twice; she was under the hood in a flash to see what was wrong. Instantly she noticed the sorry state the engine was in, whoever had been driving it had not been doing so carefully; leaves, dried mud stuck all over the place and even a small branch was lodged in there. It got her thinking which brilliant mind decided to take it on what had to be a joy ride.

She figured Jasper was the most likely culprit; it matched the reckless character he had descended into after the fall of Mount Weather. Raven just grumbled, she could not understand how he could become so apathetic and depressed over a girl he had known for less than a month. Sure it was sad that she died in his arms covered with radiation burns when they clearly cared for each other and it was alright to mourn, but most people would find a way to push past their grief and move on eventually. Just as Raven had done after Finn's death, it wasn't easy for her, she did her best to try and remember him the way he was before the ground changed him and he murdered those 18 people in a blind panic.

If her suspicions were correct and it was indeed Jasper who had been recklessly driving around in the Rover she thought about having a word with him, but quickly realized that would be pointless and just shook her head. Instead she pulled a piece of cloth from her back pocket and carefully started to clean away the dirt from the engine and while she was working and slowly starting to get into her element, Raven quickly lost track of time.

Stepping away from the car to grab a tool she required off of a nearby workbench suddenly out of the corner of her eye she spotted someone standing in the doorway. Her head jerked up and and she felt a knot in her stomach to see Nyc standing there. He was looking around the room with a pair of rather curious eyes. Raven figured Nyc probably hadn't seen this much technology in one room before. Raven had working computers and screens in one corner of the room, the rover stood slightly in the back and other corners were filled with computer parts, car parts, some unfinished radios and debris from the Ark that Raven thought could be useful eventually.

The way he looked at the computer actually made her smirk. He made his way towards it and studied it as if he wanted to use his diplomatic skills on it, it looked funny to Raven but as soon as he turned away from the computer to face her she pulled a straight face, shaking away the amusement she felt from watching him. The brunette grabbed the wrench she needed and headed back to the rover. While bent down under the hood of the car she heard Nyc's footsteps as he walked around the rover slowly until she noticed he stood behind her. He was probably studying the engine the same way he had been looking at the computers but Raven kept working and waited for Nyc to speak up as there no doubt was a point to him visiting her.

"Hello Raven, I came to tell you we leave tomorrow at dawn." he said.

Raven just nodded and kept working on the engine. Her silence did not seem to please him, Nyc stepped next to her, looking down on the work she was doing.

"Abby told me this vehicle can travel between places faster than a horse, is this true?"

"It depends really," Raven answered and wasn't sure why she bothered to do so. "if you take this off the main roads it's probably quicker to go by horse. Not easy to maneuver the rover around the trees and rocks."

"I see. And this one is broken?"

Raven sighed and stepped away from the rover, Nyc did the same, taking an extra step back when he saw the annoyed look on her face.

"Yes it's broken and I am trying to fix it, do you mind?"

"I was merely trying to talk to you Raven, but if I am such an inconvenience to you while you seem to not have any trouble talking to others of my people then I will leave you to your work."

It was the first time she heard Nyc actually sound irritated by her and Raven cringed at his words because she knew they were true. Raven was a little more open towards Grounders now and she had a few conversations with the Grounders that came with them to Arkadia. But when it came to Nyc it was different. She purposely kept her walls up with him because every time he was around her there was this feeling, this pull at her heart that she didn't want to feel. She knew she had to keep him at a distance and did so by sneering at him and making him feel unwelcome.

"But I know what you are doing, Raven. I can read it off you easily. Once you are done fighting your feelings, let me know."

She just ignored what he said and kept working on the engine though she wasn't even sure what she was doing with it at the moment. Her mind was so clouded that she could have been doing something to make the damage to the engine even worse. But as stubborn as she knew she can be the brunette kept doing whatever it was that she was doing until she could no longer hear Nyc's footsteps and was certain he was no longer in the room. The moment she was certain he left a cry of frustration echoed through the room and she tossed the wrench on the floor with as much force as she could, not caring one bit where it landed, the sound of the wrench smashing against the floor echoed loudly through the hall. The wall she built up with Nyc in the room collapsed in an instant and Raven slumped to the floor, her back leaning against one of the Rover's tires. The moment her head leaned back tears flooded from her eyes, Nyc was right, she was locking him out and the brunette knew it was wrong. He didn't deserve the way she was treating him but she had to.

After what she went through with Finn there was no way she was about to let anyone inside her heart again and if this is what it takes for Nyc to realize that too so be it. That is what she lead herself to believe but in truth she hated herself for doing it. Raven knew that since the day she met him there was something about him that felt familiar. It was a feeling she felt with Finn when they first met, maybe this feeling was even stronger than what she felt for Finn. Acting upon it was not an option, there was so much to focus on, so much to do still at Arkadia and she could not let herself be distracted by it, definitely not by a Grounder.

Raven exhaled sharply, doing her best to put her emotions away and get her attention back to the Rover. With a little bit of effort she forced herself back up and walked over to where she tossed the wrench. The brunette grabbed it and walked back to the rover while her free hand rubbed through her tear stained eyes to wipe away the proof of that she'd been crying. Once satisfied Raven took a deep breath and leaned back down to continue working on the engine, pretending that nothing happened.

* * *

The report Keara had given her was exactly what Lexa had hoped for. It was resting on the war table in front of her and she read it over and over, barely believing that things were going as she had planned in her head. Keara just left the council chambers with orders from Lexa to find Anya and Clarke and tell them to come here, then await Lincoln's arrival, which wouldn't be long now, and bring him and Echo to her.

The Commander took a deep breath, she knew both Anya and Clarke would object to her plans for Echo and Lincoln, Anya especially, though it did made her smile slightly at the thought that Anya and Clarke would actually agree on something for the first time. There only was about a day and a half to get Gara out of Polis and this was the only option, Clarke and Anya will see this too and even if they didn't agree with her decision it didn't matter, she is the Commander and they would respect her decision.

With the two women still in her thoughts she heard the doors open and footsteps nearing. She kept her eyes focused on the report in front of her until two figures stood at the opposite side of the table. She looked up to be greeted by the sight of the two women, she gave them a nod and they repaid in kind. It was all business, there was no place for pleasantries right now.

"You wanted to see us, Heda?" Anya spoke up.

Lexa shifted her gaze to her former mentor. "Yes." she started. "After the information Echo had given us about Racu and from what I've learned about him from Nyc I travelled to Niylah's outpost this morning."

From the corner of her eyes she could see Clarke slightly shift on her feet at the mention of Niylah's name but Lexa ignored it, eyes still locked on Anya.

"I hoped to be able to turn him, or have enough leverage on him to send him back on his travels to avoid suspicion but he was too loyal to Nia and time was not on my side, so I killed him, which leaves us with a day and a half to try and get Echo's brother out of Polis to have an advantage over Nia by having two of her former spies at our side."

Her words immediately forced out a reaction from Anya. "Extracting someone from Polis in less than two days is a suicide mission, it's next to impossible unless we send in an army, Heda."

Lexa hums in agreement and looked down at the report on the table. "It is, that is why I am sending Echo and Lincoln to do this mission."

"What!?"

As expected the reaction came from Clarke as well as Anya, but it was Clarke who spoke up immediately after that.

"Lexa, you can't send Lincoln out on a mission that will kill him, I know Octavia asked you to lift the kill order but surely you can come up with another punishment"

Before Lexa could say anything it was Anya who spoke up. Lexa allowed it, she might as well hear them out before addressing them again.

"Commander you cannot send that traitor out there, she will betray us, kill Lincoln and run away with her brother."

It amused her slightly that Anya didn't consider that Echo and Lincoln would fail the mission, unlike Clarke. They both knew that despite her injuries, which were slowly healing, Echo would still be capable enough alongside Lincoln to have a small chance of success. Taking a deep breath she looked up at Clarke first.

"There were two options for Lincoln, Clarke. One would be that he share a similar fate to Kensi however no amount of cuts can pay for his actions, his other is this mission. I have been thinking about previous Commanders. Kill orders have been lifted before, the alternative granted was a mission into enemy territory. If successful the kill order will be lifted, it is called; Presh kom daun. It means sacred return. The Commander will give a mission that is deemed impossible to complete but should this person return it means they have earned the blessing of the Commander's spirit and the kill order will be lifted."

Clarke still was not happy with Lexa's explanation, she pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "Has anyone ever returned successful from this?" she asked.

Lexa tilts her head ever so slightly, eyes not showing any emotion. "No."

"Lexa!"Clarke hissed. "Octavia will-"

The flick of her wrist instantly silenced Clarke. "I do not care what Octavia will think of this, or think of me, if she thinks herself to be part of my people than she will accept this and so will you."

Her words were final and were not up for discussion, she then turned her gaze to Anya. "The same goes for you, Anya. I have made my decision, Lincoln and Echo will go to Polis to try and rescue Gara. They will either fail and die or they will return and earn their freedom."

Anya's eyes widened in surprise. "You are letting Echo go after this?"

Her concern made Lexa smirk. "I am not, I am merely releasing her from her prison. She will be free to walk around in TonDC, with supervision. Two guards will be assigned to her at all time."

"She is Ice Nation." Anya tried to convince her again.

"She  _was_ Ice Nation. She was betrayed by her Queen, handed over to an ally for torture before being executed. There is no life left for Echo with her people, she has shown so far she is willing to cooperate, these new arrangements will be an incentive for her to keep cooperating with us. Having Echo on our side is a huge advantage, she knows Nia better than we do and if they succeed in extracting her brother we will be at an even bigger advantage."

"But as I said, Heda, what if she betrays you and runs away with her brother."

"She won't."

"You cannot be certain about that."

The Commander gave Anya a cold stare that made Clarke take a step backwards but Anya stood her ground. "Anya, do you really think I would be so naive as to not take precautions for this?" she said, the tone in her voice showed a hint of anger.

"Of course not Heda, but we should not trust her." she bit back, still challenging Lexa.

But Lexa was no fool, this wasn't the first time Anya went head to head with her. She and Clarke were very much alike in this. They both were close to Lexa and they both did what others couldn't by challenging Lexa as much as they could. But she knew both women well enough, in this case she knew why Anya was against Lexa's plans and it was time to confront her about it.

"You know that every single word I have spoken so far is true, you are only challenging me because of your personal vendetta against her." Lexa said sternly.

Finally Anya gave in and lowered her head, but not before showing her frustration with a groan. She saw Clarke looking at the blonde with curiosity, Lexa chuckled slightly at how easily she was reading Clarke right now. It was clear the Sky Girl wants to talk to Anya, figure out what kind of personal vendetta Lexa was talking about because unlike Anya, Clarke was slowly starting to like Echo.

Their discussion was cut short when she heard the doors to the chamber open and a few seconds later Lincoln and Echo appeared with Keara right behind them. The tall woman forced the both of them on their knees and then walked over to Lexa. The Commander saw a brief exchange between Clarke and Lincoln before facing Keara to see what she had to say.

"Heda, the Sky Girl named Octavia is outside and refusing to leave until you let her in." she said.

Lexa sighed. "Tell her that if I see her standing there once I leave this room she will not be told anything. Octavia will return to her duties and she will be informed when I see fit, not when she does."

"Sha, Heda."

Lexa kept her eyes locked on Lincoln as Keara left the building, then she walked around the table and stopped, resting her hands behind her back. "It is good that you agreed to come, Lincoln."

Lincoln dipped his chin down. "I would do anything to have this kill order lifted so that Octavia and I can be together, here. But the Chancellor wasn't so willing to let me go, Heda." he said.

Clarke snorted at this. "Of course she wasn't."

"She demanded to know why you asked for me but I managed to convince her to let me go."

"The Chancellor can be a very headstrong woman." Lexa said. "But as time is not on our side I will tell the two of you why you are here. You may not know, Lincoln, but Echo was betrayed by her Queen and has given us information about Ice Nation spies that have been implemented among our people. One of them is Echo's brother, Gara."

She saw Lincoln's eyes widen in surprise. He too knew that Gara was Revo's second and was just as surprised to learn that the young boy is a spy.

"Yes, this surprised us too. According to Echo his loyalties lie not with Nia but only with his sister and he merely took on his role as a spy to impress her. Echo has pointed out another spy to us, who is now dead and this spy was to report to her in less than two days."

Her eyes shifted to Echo and witnessed how worry crept onto Echo's face. "Heda, if Nia finds out it was me who talked, she will kill Gara." she pleaded in a worried tone.

"She will indeed." Lexa replied remaining calm. "It is why I will send you and Lincoln to retrieve him."

That did not ease Echo's concern. "That… that's impossible, you will be sending us to our deaths."

Lincoln remained silent at her side, but his eyes showed content, he realized what Lexa was doing. "Presh kom daun." he muttered softly.

Echo looked at him, when facing Lexa again her eyes held anger. "You cannot use Lincoln's redemption for my brother's life!" she said angrily.

Anya was ready to punch Echo for her disrespect towards the Commander but Lexa stopped her with a simple gesture of her hand. "Do not be a fool to think I will send an entire army to Polis to rescue your brother, that would risk everything I've worked towards. Yes having him here will be an advantage for me but he is not worth even the slightest chance of losing everything . Your brother is as good as dead anyway, this mission is the only chance he has to survive and the two of you are the only ones I am willing to risk this for. Lincoln has accepted this, you should too."

Echo bent her head down in frustration knowing full well Lexa was telling the truth and she finally accepted it. The Commander walked back around the table, grabbing her dagger that she had neatly placed next to Keara's report. Lexa traced a finger over the hilt before lifting it from the table and walking back to echo.

"Stand and hold up your hand."

She ordered and waited until Echo had done so. Lexa grabbed her hand and slid the blade over the palm of her hand, watching as blood poured from the wound. The former spy flinched slightly and looked up to Lexa, wondering what she had just done.

"The blade is coated in poison, a poison only I know and only I have the antidote for. The poison slowly works through your body, you will not feel the effects for at least a day but it is deadly unless given the antidote; a precaution in case you decide to run should you manage to rescue your brother. It is also an assurance for Lincoln's life, should you succeed. If he dies you die. If you return however and your mission has succeeded, I will not only give you the antidote but you will no longer be a prisoner. You will be able to walk around TonDC with two guards and you are not to leave TonDC, but it will still be better than being imprisoned and I will assign sleeping arrangements for you."

Lexa saw how Echo wanted to protest, how she wanted to say what the point was because the mission was next to impossible. But when glancing over to Lincoln she saw confidence, he knew the risks but it was the only way to get his freedom back and he knew it was the only chance he had to have the kill order Echo had no choice, Lincoln did, accept the task to gain his redemption or be forced to flee back to Arkadia without the temporary protection he was granted for the journey to TonDC His decision to do this mission showed he would rather die than spend his life living with the Sky people, but whether Octavia was as willing as he was; she doubted it.

Lexa turned to the table once more to reach for the report Keara had given her and handed it to Lincoln. "A tunnel is marked here that Nia does not know about, that is if we are to believe what Rylan told us. Use this to get into the city, Anya will go with you and provide you the equipment needed, go now, the longer you stay here the less time you have to rescue Gara."

All three of them complied and Lexa told Anya to come back here with Octavia before she exited the council chambers. The look Clarke exchanged with Lincoln didn't go unnoticed by Lexa, the blonde pleaded him to reconsider but his mind was set. The Commander didn't appreciate her attempt but she understood it, the chances of failure were a lot higher than success and Clarke didn't want to see Lincoln die. As Lexa took her place back at the other end of the table the blonde walked after her, she didn't see it but she heard the footsteps and she could feel Clarke's presence nearby. What she didn't expect was Clarke only standing a few inches away from her once Lexa turned around to face her, she gasped slightly and took a step back but Clarke just closed the space between them again.

"Octavia asked you to find another way to get rid of the kill order, not a way to get Lincoln killed."

It was clear that Clarke wasn't happy with the turn of events.

"It was the alternative to the kill order with the highest chance of survival."

"I find that difficult to believe."

"Clarke, he disobeyed orders in front of my entire army."

"You have an elder here, you could have asked her, surely Lynn knows some sort of ancient law no one else knows about."

Lexa shook her head and was done with Clarke's attempt to corner her and tried to walk around her but Clarke just side stepped and didn't let the Commander pass. Lexa knew Clarke said she would challenge Lexa on moments they were alone and she disagreed with a decision but the Sky Girl was really working on her nerves.

"Clarke."

Her voice was low and in warning but Clarke held her ground.

"No don't Clarke me, Lexa, I-"

Before she could finish talking Lexa suddenly realized there was more to Clarke's anger than she was letting on. The brunette brushed past Clarke before she could stop her and walked away from the table.

"You know I can't just go against our laws and treat Lincoln different because you are his friend, because Octavia is his niron, I cannot afford to look weak and you know that, Clarke. What really brought this on? What is really on your mind?"

Clarke remained at the table looking frustrated, she leaned her hands down at the table and Lexa saw her eyes closing for a few seconds before the beautiful blue orbs looked at her, still holding frustration.

"I-it's nothing, never mind." her eyes went down to the table.

"Clarke."

She looked up to Lexa, pausing for a moment before speaking. "You said you'd train me, but so far you only have once and then just disappeared and let Anya take over."

"Anya is the best possible person to have train you, this isn't a bad thing."

The blonde moved around to Lexa's side of the table, resting her back against the solid edge.

"You could have warned me, she manhandled me out of bed the next morning telling me you were busy and she would take over. You could have at least come see me to tell me."

She tried, Lexa really tried to contain the smirk forming on her face but she failed. Here she was thinking something bad was on Clarke's mind or Lexa had done something to offend her, but it turned out the blonde only had to vent her frustration because Anya had been brutal in her training. It must have been tough, tiresome and painful and Lexa could understand it was frustrating but she still couldn't hold back her smirk, Clarke just stared at her looking increasingly annoyed with every second that passed.

"Lexa, this isn't funny, my body is aching in places I didn't know it could."

Lexa's smirk remained as she just stared at the now silent Sky Girl, as if she was expecting the Commander to respond to her grievance, instead she too kept her silence. Moments later Clarke couldn't stop herself from dropping her fiery visage and chuckle at the situation. Lexa seized the opportunity and stepped close to Clarke, the chemistry was different this time as they stared into each other's eyes and a moment later they were sharing a passionate kiss. As their tongues danced with one another Lexa could feel the heat of her body rising every second the kiss lasted. She reached down to Clarke's hips and without warning hoisted her up onto the table, resulting in a slight yelp of discomfort from the blonde. This did not go unnoticed by Lexa; she pulled back running her hands down Clarke's legs to give her a moment, also giving herself a moment to admire how radiant the blonde looked in Trikru clothing.

"Meizen… "

The word was unfamiliar to Clarke; her eyes flickered with curiosity but before she could ask the meaning Lexa continued to kiss her soft skin, slowly making her way down to her neck. As she felt the brunette's luscious lips gently press down on her pulse Clarke tilted her head back and ran her under Lexa's shirt. She shivered as the blonde lightly ran her fingers up her back. Lexa took a breath and swallowed deeply as she found herself unable to resist from moving her hands under, she ran her fingers across Clarke's stomach and eventually moved up following the natural curves of her body.

"Lexa."

It was a slight protest but the Commander ignored her and kept kissing Clarke, continuously exploring the skin on her face and neck.

"Leksa… Anya and Oct- shit."

Lexa wouldn't allow for Clarke to finish what she was going to say as her hand reached one of Clarke's breasts, gently caressing it through the fabric of the bindings. The Commander's plump lips that had been making a path on Clarke's neck, jaw and cheek found their way back to Clarke's swollen lips and she delved inside. She knew Clarke was right, Octavia and Anya could return any moment but she couldn't stop. She didn't want to stop. The Sky Girl held a spell over her and there was no cure for it. Nothing could break it, not even Anya and Octavia should they walk in here.

Clarke pulled back from the kiss for a second. "What-" Lexa wouldn't let her and their lips connected again. But only for a few seconds before Clarke pulled back once more.

"What does-" Lexa noticed Clarke sucking in air when the Commander's lips found their way to an earlobe and she tugged on it slowly. "Leksa… "

A smirk formed on her lips before she gave it another tug and travelled back to her neck. "Hmm?" she hummed through the kisses and moved her hand from one breast to the other. Words had ran out for Clarke now, her head shooting back and a raspy moan left her lips which only increased the heat building between her legs. With Lexa completely lost in the heat of the moment between the two of them she failed to notice Clarke had stopped tracing her fingers over her back until suddenly her hand was on the one Lexa was using to explore Clarke's breasts. She stopped the brunette and pulled her hand away from the shirt.

Suddenly worry took over and Lexa wondered if maybe she overstepped herself and had gone farther than she was allowed to. Clarke must have noticed how tense she suddenly became and let go of her hand to cup Lexa's cheeks, tilting her head so that their eyes met.

"You did nothing wrong, Lexa, I am just stopping you before things get out of hand and Anya and Octavia walk in on us. Octavia doesn't know and I think it should stay that way for now."

Lexa didn't realize she was holding her breath and was happy to release it with Clarke pointing out she didn't overstep. No matter how much she hated the interruption she knew Clarke was right, this was not the time or place to do this, regrettably.

"You are just so special to me Clarke and when we are together I want nothing more than to show you how much you mean to me, to make you feel how much you mean to me."

Clarke leaned forward and pressed a kiss on Lexa's forehead. "And you will, soon, but not right now and trust me I really hate myself for saying this because I want the same, I feel the same."

The Commander reached for the hands on her cheeks and tangled their fingers together, placing them gently on Clarke's lap. "I know." she said, planting a gentle kiss on the soft skin of her hand. "It's beautiful, Clarke."

"What is?"

Lexa shook her head. "You wanted to know what meizen means, it means beautiful."

"Oh."

Clarke's usually pale cheeks turned a deep red, Lexa chuckled at the rare showing of embarrassment from the Sky Girl , but then she heard the doors to the council chambers open and she moved to help Clarke off the table. Without hesitation she quickly reached for the closest report on the table and unfolded it and then leaned down with her hands on the table and motioned for Clarke to do the same, this way it looked like they were both discussing whatever was on the report.

She quickly noticed her rash decision had been a mistake when it showed a report of a property dispute of two farmers who lived just outside of TonDC, she silently prayed that Anya wouldn't notice. Once the two women were inside the room Lexa turned around and saw Clarke's suspicions about Octavia were right; the young woman looked angry. But Octavia could look as angry as she wanted, Lexa had made up her mind and so had Lincoln, there was no other choice for Octavia but to accept the situation Lincoln is in right now and Lexa would not hesitate to make it clear that the matter was not up for debate.

* * *

"You going to eat that?"

The person sitting opposite of her was doing anything but paying attention, his food remained almost untouched as he just stabbed at the meat with no purpose. Raven looked at him and saw his eyes staring blankly at the food on his plate. Unlike Bellamy, Raven had finished her dinner but wasn't close to a full stomach yet. If Bellamy wasn't planning on eating his food she might as well finish it for him.

"Bell?" Waving her hand around and calling out his name didn't seem to get his attention either, she decided to try a less subtle tactic.

"I bet your sister and Lincoln are fucking each other below the sunset right now."

"What?" he said, sounding slightly bewildered, trying to process what Raven had just said to him.

"There you are, I was asking if you were going to finish that."

"Not hungry, go ahead."

As Raven reached for his plate Harper and Monty went to sit next to Raven, one left and one right of her.

"I don't understand how you can eat so much." Harper said before taking a bite of her own food.

"Being a genius takes a lot of energy." Raven replied with her mouth fool.

Monty and Harper chuckled at her words before turning to Bellamy. "What's up with him?" Monty asked when they saw Bellamy had continued his staring contest with the fork in his hand.

Raven took another bite off her fork. "At a guess, Octavia."

At the sound of his sister's name Bellamy deflated. "I haven't seen her in days and if Lincoln's kill order is removed I will barely see her at all."

"She's not a child anymore Bell, if Octavia wants to stay with the Grounders there's not much you can do about it. Besides, despite what he's done I would give anything to be able to see Finn again, at least Octavia is still alive."

He looked up to her with apologetic eyes. "Yeah sorry, I didn't mean it like that." he said softly.

Raven dismissed his apology. "It's fine, I didn't mean to snap at you. Trust me when I say I know what you're going through, I had to listen to Abby complain about Clarke a lot lately."

All three of them shrugged. "How is Clarke anyways?" Harper asked.

"She's fine, changed a lot since we last saw her. Changed for the better even though it took some time for me to accept that."

"What do you mean?" Monty asked.

"She's gotten wiser, running away did her good in the long run. No offense to Abby but she could run this place a whole lot better than her mother or anyone else from the council. But I get why she is there, she can do a lot more from there to help protect us from the Ice Nation. Oh and she's gotten stronger, the Grounders started training her, I bet she can kick all our asses now."

"She could probably already kick my ass before she left us, I'm just a computer guy that sits in a dark room all day." Monty said.

"I had to drag him out of his room to get some dinner just now." Harper added.

"I know the feeling Monty, took me a lot of effort to pull away from the Rover and actually listen to my grumbling stomach. Glad I did though, the food is good for a change."

Raven took the final pieces of meat from the plate and shoved them in her mouth before looking down on the plates of Harper and Monty.

"Don't even think about it." Harper warned her with a smirk.

The Engineer just innocently lifted her hands up in the air. "I wouldn't dare." she said and looked up when she heard some people talking. Much to her regret her eyes fell on a table that had a few Grounders sitting around it, including Nyc. The feeling of regret increased when their eyes suddenly met for a few moments before Raven looked away, the moment did not go unnoticed by Harper.

"He likes you." she said bluntly.

"I don't like him." Raven bit back immediately and tried to sound as convincing as she could.

"Well I think he's cute."

"You think he's cute? Harper look at his beard, it's huge." Monty said surprised.

"What? I like men with beards."

"Kane has a beard." Raven joked.

Harper immediately pulled up a disgusted look and playfully punched Raven's shoulder.

"Raven!"

Their banter made Bellamy shrug and a silence fell among the friends, all three of them giving Bellamy a confused look.

"It's just… I forget sometimes that most of us are still just teenagers and that moments like this are rare"

They all nodded in agreement. "The ground has changed us but I don't regret who I am now, if we hadn't been sent to the ground we would have been floated."

Raven agreed with Harper, she too did not regret going to the ground. Thanks to Finn she wouldn't have been floated but being down here still is a lot better than living an entire life in a space station, though Raven would do anything to be able to go spacewalking again.

"No regrets for me either, we have made a home out of Arkadia here and now with the help of the Grounders we can settle in for the winter and start our lives here on the ground." the Engineer said.

"You think the Grounders will let us stay here, will we ever be able to completely trust them again?" Monty wondered.

"I believe so yeah." Raven said and she really meant it. "Clarke will do anything to protect us and she has done a great job of it so far."

Bellamy scoffed at her words. "We should never fully trust the Grounders again. Sure they are helping us now, but what happens if we end up in a situation similar to the one at the mountain."

Raven closed her eyes, she could counter his words by telling him the Commander put her own people first and she understands it, but she didn't want to get into an argument and the last thing she wanted was for everyone to think she was standing up for the Commander, because she wasn't and the fact that she understands what Lexa had done doesn't mean she agreed with it. Instead the brunette took a deep breath and calmed herself.

"I trust Clarke." Barely believing she said the words. "That's all that matters to me."

From the corner of her eye she saw Harper nod. "So do I, she managed to keep us alive at the dropship and the mountain, she can do it again."

"I didn't say that I don't trust Clarke, I just don't trust the Grounders." Bellamy said trying to defend his words.

"Maybe you should say it a little bit louder so they can all hear you." Raven said sarcastically.

Her worried eyes went over to the table where Nyc was sitting and she noticed him and a Grounder woman looked up to them clearly showing they heard Bellamy talk and weren't pleased with what he said. Bellamy refused to look at them, instead he stood to his feet, his eyes directly aimed at Raven.

"I have work to do, good luck tomorrow with the supply run Raven."

Raven scoffed as she watched the Blake sibling walk away but she knew she couldn't completely blame him, not that long ago she felt the same way. It felt strange how suddenly she had changed her opinion after spending a day at TonDC.

"He'll come around, he's probably just moody because he misses Octavia."

Monty's words pulled her out of her thoughts. "Not that long ago I agreed with him but I meant what I said, I trust Griffin."

"We all do Raven, let's hope the Ice Nation will never arrive on our doorstep."

"Yeah Harper, let's hope so."

* * *

"It is good to hear you spoke with her."

Clarke was with Lexa in the Commander's tent, eating dinner together and catching up with events that transpired in the time they weren't together. She told the brunette about her talk with Raven, about how she was slowly forming a bond with Kensi and how she and Octavia felt they were going through hell each day they trained with Anya. But despite the brutal training Clarke felt that her stamina was increasing, it was still painful and exhausting but she felt that her body was adjusting. Anya had already told her that tomorrow there mostly would be combat training and she was already looking forward to it. Clarke would always prefer Lexa to be the one to train her, but the Commander had already informed her she would be busy with the clan leaders and representatives before she might have time to train Clarke again.

Although Clarke didn't like it, she had no choice but to accept it, Lexa's duties as Commander would always come first and frankly it was a miracle they had been able to spend as much time together as they had. That's why it felt good to be sitting here with Lexa having a private, relaxing moment together to discuss what they've both been through. She thought back to the moment where Octavia practically begged Lexa to change her mind and call Lincoln back. Clarke had seen the regret in Octavia's eyes, wishing she'd never asked Lexa to lift the kill order. But Lexa wouldn't have been a very good leader if she'd given in to Octavia's pleas. In the end Anya took the Blake sibling with her to the training ground and told her to get the anger and frustrations out on her.

Clarke smiled as her mind went back to that moment. Through all of her anger Octavia had barely managed to hit Anya, in the end the General just let a few punches and kicks connect to prevent Octavia from getting even more frustrated than she already was.

"Clarke?"

Lexa's voice brought her back to reality.

"Yeah, sorry, just been thinking back to Octavia and Anya sparring together." she said with a slight smile.

The Commander chuckled at this. "It's the first time I've seen her take punches to make someone feel better, she never did that once when she was training me. Your people are making her soft." she joked.

Clarke chuckled before taking a bite from the meat on her plate. While Lexa might think that, she hadn't noticed any signs of Anya growing soft, the General had been anything but soft while training her.

"I have a few bruises that will prove you wrong." Clarke retorted.

They smiled at each other for a moment but then as Lexa was about to take another bite off her dinner her fork paused in mid-air when someone outside called out to her. Clarke looked up too at the urgency of the voice.

"Heda, teik ai min op? Ai gada meija imfou in."

"Min yu op."

Clarke watched with curious eyes as a young man stepped inside. He had shoulder length brown hair, a large Trikru style tattoo almost completely covered one side of his face light stubble neatly following his jawline . His armor looked similar to what she'd seen Keara wear and Clarke guessed he was probably a scout that had returned with important news.

She saw how he was about to speak up but then his eyes fell on Clarke and he wasn't sure if he should continue. But Lexa immediately dismissed his concerns.

"Nou get yu daun. Em laik Wanheda."

At the mention of her title Clarke saw him slightly dip his chin down before doing as his Commander ordered him.

"Vern and I followed the Ice Nation warrior from Rylan's farm. He traveled to a village close to the Ice Nation border; Easta. It's been occupied by Ice Nation soldiers, likely for strategic purposes. We noticed the villagers were imprisoned in cages outside, poorly treated. But it can't be all of them, I fear the rest of the people there have been killed, Heda."

Clarke watched how Lexa's face turned pale, her usual stoic mask replaced by anger. But only for a few seconds before she recovered into her calm self again. Senho took this moment continue his report.

"We both snuck through the village but could not find Rylan's son, I did however make an interesting discovery, Heda. The man who was at Rylan's farm went into one of the houses there, I snuck behind the house to look what he was doing and saw him talking to another man, reporting about recent events. I recognized the other man immediately; you have been betrayed by Delfikru , Heda. The man inside that house was Duran."

A silence fell into the room. Lexa showed no emotion at the news given to her. Clarke studied her carefully and saw her jaw moving back and forth, the Commander was processing the information and doing her best to remain calm. But Clarke saw Lexa's eyes betray the calm mask she was keeping up. Senho probably couldn't see it but Clarke did.

Lexa was furious, Clarke saw her usual green eyes darken with anger. The hand she was still holding her fork in gripped ever tightly, her knuckles turning white as a result . Ever since the downfall of the mountain Lexa had to deal with a lot of betrayal. The clans of the coalition taking sides with Azgeda, the day she was ambushed by Fio, Rylan's betrayal although that was looking more likely out of love for his son. Suddenly Clarke felt bad for ever feeling betrayed by Lexa leaving her behind at the mountain. It had always been the right decision, she thought of what was best for her people and this is what her people gave her for it in return, it disgusted Clarke how dirty the game of politics can be sometimes.

Slowly Lexa had managed to calm herself again. "Did they talk about Rylan's son?" she asked the scout.

Senho nodded. "Yes, from what they discussed Duran will know where the boy is, but they didn't mention the location in their conversation. I told Vern to stay behind and follow Duran as soon as he leaves, but I think he will come straight to TonDC for the meeting, Heda. He does not know we have discovered his betrayal."

Lexa nodded. "Os. Oso na shof op. Bos hana, Senho. Gyon au en hon resh in en choj op. Moron, yu na chich Keara op."

He immediately bowed to Lexa. "Sha, Heda."

Clarke watched Senho leave the tent and the moment he was outside she was startled by Lexa's fist slamming down on the table with great force, rattling the plates and silverware and even cutting herself on the coarse wood.

"I should have known!" Lexa hissed.

She recovered from her startled state almost instantly, wrapping her hand around Lexa's fist for comfort. But when she looked up at Lexa's eyes her expression hadn't changed, anger still had control, Clarke wondered how she could be so angry about this. It wasn't the first time they've had to process bad news, she'd never actually seen Lexa lose her temper before.

"Lexa, no leader can know absolutely everything."

These words probably weren't very comforting but frankly the Sky Girl didn't know what else to say.

"But I should have known this." she said and pulled her hand away.

"You know now, you can still take advantage of this."

No matter what Clarke tried to say, she wasn't getting through to Lexa. The Commander was letting her anger and frustration control her. It worried Clarke, something else was going on and she had to find out what.

"You don't understand, Clarke-"

"Then make me, tell me what's wrong Lexa."

Lexa pushed her chair away and stood to her feet. She reached for a cup and filled it with water, she took a few sips before walking to the war table. The Commander placed the cup at the edge and leaned her palms down on the table, looking down on the map that was resting there at the moment. Clarke knew it was a map of Polis, she walked over to Lexa, gazing down on the map briefly before glancing at the brunette next to her. Lexa's eyes were closed, she was trying to calm herself.

"Duran must have been the one that figured out Rylan knew about the tunnels and told Nia. I just don't know how but I should have seen this coming, I should have known." She said as she once more slammed her fist on the table.

Clarke felt like Lexa was being too hard on herself, she couldn't have known. In the short time she has been on earth Clarke learned that being a leader sometimes means you don't always see things coming.

"Lexa, I shouldn't be the one telling you that sometimes as a leader you have setbacks. No one can predict the future, but you know what happened now . You know that Duran is a traitor, he found out about Rylan, he knows where Rylan's son is and soon he will be here in TonDC and you can use all of this to get him to tell you everything."

"Oh I intend to." Lexa said coldly. "He won't have a choice in the matter, I know his weaknesses and I will make sure to confront him during the clan meeting, it will send a clear message for the rest of the clan leaders."

The words worried Clarke a bit. "Lead by fear, is that really the way to do this?"

The brunette shook her head. "Sometimes there is no other way. The clans need to know, need to see that their Commander does not tolerate betrayal, it's a show of force, a show of strength."

"But can't you do the same as you did with the Lake People, put someone else in charge?"

"It doesn't work that way Clarke, Colin is the complete opposite of his father. And the people have been oppressed by Colioh for years, Colin will change that. Delfikru is different, Duran is loved by his people, he raised his daughter and two sons well and they support their father. His daughter will most likely take over once he is dead, I cannot go and storm their lands like i did with the Lake People, taking an army that far away would leave TonDC and other villages vulnerable to attacks from Azgeda. For them, especially once they find out I killed their father, the only way to join the coalition again is to make them see that an alliance with Azgeda is a mistake, I need to find a way to weaken Nia's position."

Clarke looked down at the map Lexa was fixated on, scanning the marked areas showing where each clan was located. Six of the marked areas had matching pins until Lexa angrily swiped at one, knocking the Delfikru pin to the ground. Boat People, Lake People, Rock line, Broadleaf and Trikru pins remained until Lexa reached for a new pin and placed it on a spot marked with a large X, above it she read the name of Skaikru.

"Lexa… "

"Don't read too much into it yet, Clarke. Like I told your mother I will need to talk to the other clan leaders about it. And your people haven't been very forthcoming when we told them about the war. But there is a new alliance now either way, even though not made for war but for survival and peace, it's a start."

She gave Lexa an understanding nod but narrowed her eyes as she saw worry and sadness creep into her emerald eyes. "What's wrong?" Clarke asked her.

"I have to get back to my duties while I'd rather stay here, with you." the Commander admitted as she stared deep into Clarke's eyes.

Clarke reached for her hand, linking their fingers together and giving Lexa's hand a slight squeeze.

"I'd like nothing more but for you to stay here too, but your duties come first. Just a few more days before all the clan leaders will have arrived and you can have your meeting with them. After that we will have some time together again."

The blonde saw her look away, staring down at their linked hands. "Clarke, the coalition is shattered, we are at war, even after the meeting time for us together will still be limited."

Suddenly the feeling of heartbreak crept all over her skin. "Are you saying we should-"

But Lexa quickly dismissed those feelings and cupped her cheeks. "No. No that's not what I am saying Clarke, I'm sorry." The Sky girl did her best to hold back her tears but one drop still managed to escape her eyes, Lexa brushed it away with her thumb. "Moba, Klark. Ai nou don mana led yu raun, en ai nou don mana gon yu wich in bilaik ai don gaf dison in ste odon. "

Clarke felt herself gently being pushed forward and moments later her face was in the crook of Lexa's neck and the brunette held her tightly. She noticed the Commander exhaling deeply, breathing out air she'd been holding back. Clarke then realized she did the same and felt guilty for thinking Lexa was having second thoughts about their relationship.

"I-I'm so-" she tried to apologize but Lexa didn't let her.

"Shh, Klark." the brunette gently pulled back, cradling Clarke's cheeks once more. "We will have time and if not I will make time, ok?"

The blonde managed to pull up a small smile on her face and nodded. "Sha."

"Good, now come, I promised Cole I'd come visit him today, you can check his injuries while we are there."

Lexa stepped away and reached for her coat. Clarke watched as the Commander put on her coat and make her way out of the tent. The blonde closed her eyes for a few moments, allowing Lexa's comforting words to echo through her mind. She cursed herself for thinking Lexa was having second thoughts. This was not who she had become over the last few months. Clarke had gained a lot more confidence and a part of that was of what she had learned from Lexa, having doubts now did not suit her. The blonde quickly shook these thoughts away and opened her eyes, Lexa was right, they will have time and if not they will make time. Lexa meant the world to Clarke and she'll be damned if she let a war stand in their way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who probably already noticed, and for those who didn't. Please don't hate me but there will be no Ranya. I like Raven and Anya a lot but in my eyes not as a couple but as friends. For as far as Anya can be "friendly" ofc :p
> 
> Also Lexa and Clarke must be rather angry with me for constantly having their time together interrupted. Be patient, next time no one will be in their way. ;)
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Hod in en Dula - Love and Duty
> 
> Heda, teik ai min op? Ai gada meija imfou in. - Heda, may I come in? I have an important message.
> 
> Min yu op - Enter
> 
> Nou get yu daun. Em laik Wanheda - Don't concern yourself. She is Wanheda.
> 
> Os. Oso na shof op. Bos hana, Senho. Gyon au en hon resh in en choj op. Moron, yu na chich Keara op. - Good. We will keep this quiet. Great job, Senho. Go and rest and eat. Tomorrow, you will report to Keara.
> 
> Moba, Klark. Ai nou don mana led yu raun, en ai nou don mana gon yu wich in bilaik ai don gaf dison in ste odon. - Apologies, Clarke. I didn't mean to hurt you and I never intended for you to believe that I wanted to end this.
> 
> Name Explanations:
> 
> Duran - Durango, Iowa


	10. Trikru en Skaikru

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The council meeting finally happens, Clarke and Lexa get some alone time and trouble finds Raven, or does Raven find trouble? ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for letting you all wait for so long. Sadly after my holiday life exploded for me and I had such little time to write. But it's finally done, chapter 10 is here and I can only hope I will not need as much time for chapter 11 as I did for chapter 10. 
> 
> Thank you everyone who has supported this story, I appreciate it a lot and I hope you are still with me despite the long wait. Also once again a thanks to Andi for the help with the translations.
> 
> I would like to warn you once more that this story is dark and a lot of that will show in this and the following chapters. I like to think I have given you plenty of warnings about this by now and please, please keep an eye on the tags as a few might get added in the chapters that follow. 
> 
> Now, time to finally enjoy ( I hope ) chapter 10!

"Slightly better, but still weak"

Clarke opened her eyes taking short sharp breaths; once again Anya had put her hard on her back, as she had done countless times before. She stared towards the sky until Anya moved into her field of view, standing over her looking down, their eyes met briefly.

"Well you aren't exactly going easy" Clarke managed to say, between her quick breathing and winded coughing.

"We're done for today, I have matters to attend to" Anya said before turning to walk away, not offering Clarke a helping hand to get up.

Clarke lay there, almost completely motionless, trying to catch her breath. She got thinking about what Lexa said, Anya being the best person to train her. Despite her uncompromising approach to the training she was giving Clarke, the blonde wondered if there was a more personal reason, perhaps their growing affection for each other would hinder the Commander's willingness to train her to the best of her ability. That singular thought gave her a calming, radiant expression on her face.

She gathered the strength to make it to her feet, taking a deep breath she then proceeded to make her way back to the main area of TonDC. On the way keeping Lexa in her thoughts, wondering when they might get a good period of time to spend some quality private time together without interruption, something she desired more and more with each passing day.

However reality took over her thoughts as she made it back to the main area, a lone figure sitting alone staring intently towards the main entrance to the village. It was Octavia and Clarke noticed instantly she looked somewhat concerned, not her usual calm and confident self.

"Octavia, hey"

There was almost no reaction from the brunette, the slightest turn of her head at the most.

"Octavia?" she said for a second time.

"Clarke…"

"Why didn't you come to training today?" Clarke asked, even though she had a feeling what her answer would be.

"It's been three days Clarke and Lincoln still isn't back" she said, not for one moment diverting her attention away from the village entrance.

That confirmed the feeling she had, Octavia was worried enough about Lincoln that she struggled to focus on other things. Clarke moved herself in front of Octavia, practically forcing the worried Sky Girl to look at her, which she did with some annoyance.

"I'm sure Lincoln is fine, he's a formidable warrior, and evidently a pretty good spy. He stalked us at the dropship when we landed and we never saw him once and if Echo's words are true, her expertise will be handy as well"

"I hope you're right" Octavia said, shuffling herself to her right so she could see past Clarke.

The blonde turned her head, briefly glancing towards the entrance; she couldn't stop a slight sense of worry from creeping on her face. Even though she would never say it out loud a small part of her thought what if Octavia was right, Lincoln had failed, it could destroy her.

She let out a deep sigh, "Well I need to wash and change, I'm sore and I stink!" she said in an attempt to lighten the mood, Octavia remained silent.

"See you later" Clarke said after a few moments of awkward silence between the two and headed off towards her tent.

Upon entering her tent Clarke was greeted by a not so friendly looking individual. Lynn was pacing back and forth, she made it clear from the moment she arrived back at TonDC that she didn't trust Skaikru so naturally Clarke wondered what she could possibly want.

"Lynn..?"

Her pacing ceased and she was now just staring daggers at Clarke as the blonde placed her jacket on the bed.

"Can I help you with something?"

Again Lynn remained silent. The look on her face was beginning to make Clarke feel a little anxious, she knew this woman didn't like Skaikru so why was she here. The blonde didn't really know what to do at this point; should she speak up again? Approach her? Remain silent? Several seconds passed before she decided she would speak up again, however just as she was about to, Lynn put her arm up gesturing her not to speak.

"Why are you here Klark?" Lynn enquired. It was not an unexpected question.

"Kensi found me in the woods being chased by Ice Nation, she saved my life. She brought me here under Lexa's order."

She barely got the last word out of her mouth before Lynn snapped at her.

"You will address her as Commander!"

"Commander, right, sorry." the blonde said, slightly flustered.

Lynn continued her inquiry, "Your people have been here and gone, why did you not leave with them and return to your home? You do not belong here."

Clarke could not ignore the sense of dread building in her gut, a feeling she knew where this conversation was heading, but she continued to answer.

"We have an agreement; your people are providing supplies to help my people survive throughout the winter and in return we will show your people more efficient ways of growing food and provide aid in rebuilding TonDC. Also L… the Commander thinks having  _the legendary Wanheda_  at her side strengthens her position as Commander to the other clans."

"We have survived for many years without Skaikru aid; we can survive for many years to come without it." Lynn said aggressively.

Before Clarke could get a word in Lynn continued, "And If the Commander sees you as an individual of value in that regard then you are also her weakness. As Commander she needs to be able to sacrifice any individual without a second thought should the need arise, I feel she won't do that to you and it will cost her. She's making the same mistake with you as she did with Costia."

Clark could feel the sense of dread building, her previous thought on the direction of the conversation suddenly looked more accurate, she had to think of a way to change the way this was going. She took a moment to think, deciding that she wasn't going to be intimidated by Lynn's aggression she snapped back at the older woman.

"Look Lynn, I don't know why you seem to resent me in particular, I've done nothing to offend you. Right now I am the Commander's guest here, you don't have to like it, but you have to respect her wishes. I'm sure you're aware of what fate awaits those who disrespect her or not follow her orders."

"You will not speak that way to me! I know what your people did when you crashed in our lands, how…" Lynn's anger filled tirade was brought to a halt by an unannounced woman entering Clarke's tent.

"Apologies Wanheda, I heard you arguing…" She didn't get chance to finish what she was saying before Lynn cut her off.

"Set raun ouder, Severna, en nou mes osir op nodotaim." she shouted angrily.

"Moba Lynn but Heda requested Wanheda's presence, Lincoln and Echo have returned with Gara and they need healing. Nyko requested her help as well."

Clarke still noticed the anger on Lynn's face but the older woman knew she had to give in. "Very well, this isn't over Klark." Lynn said as she stormed out of the tent.

Clarke pushed their conversation away from her thoughts and followed Severna to Nyko's tent, where all three were taken, it was clear to Clarke as soon as she laid eyes on them they were all in a bad way. Gara who looked the least injured, was being restrained by two guards in the corner, he gave Clarke a glance as she entered but quickly turned his attention back to his sister. He clearly showed concern for her.

Lincoln was at least sat up, albeit slightly hunched over. He showed quite a lot of external injuries that Octavia was cleaning to the best of her ability. She was glad he made it back, both for him and Octavia, they simply exchanged a subtle nod then Clarke turned her attention to Echo.

Echo was in the worst condition due to the poison rampaging through her system and the plethora of visible injuries over her body. She was barely conscious and had a high fever. Clarke checked her pulse, her heart was beating very fast, she was unsure if that was a result from the poison, blood loss or a combination of both.

"Has she been given the antidote yet?" She asked Nyko.

"Heda is bringing it now"

Clarke grabbed a clean cloth, dipped it in a bowl of water and started cleaning her wounds; even now it still slightly amazed her how much the Grounders could go through and survive, Echo's injuries were unlike anything she had ever seen. The concerned look on her face didn't go unnoticed by Gara who spoke up.

"She's going to survive isn't she?"

However he was quickly silenced by a swift punch to side of his face from one of his guards. Clarke looked at him, actually feeling a little sorry for him.

"She should be with the antidote and rest." she said with a gentle nod.

A few moments later the Commander entered and handed a vial to Nyko, she gave Gara a stern look that made him feel uneasy and it showed on his face.

"Heda, she's been given the antidote" Nyko said.

"Good, it will take some time before she starts to come around, keep an eye on her."

"Sha Heda" Nyko nodded in acknowledgement.

"You two…" she said looking at the guards flanking Gara "…take him to the cells; he will be dealt with later." They complied immediately and he put up little to no resistance.

Lexa then turned her attention to Lincoln, now standing in front of him she examined his injuries as Octavia continued to clean them. He sat up straight for a moment before sluggishly standing to his feet, it was clear as day he was in quite some pain but he was determined to show respect to the Commander.

"Heda" he said, dipping his head. Octavia did the same.

The tent fell silent, Clarke and Nyko continued to tend to Echo's injuries but couldn't help occasionally look over to observe the interaction between Lincoln and the Commander. It was the moment Octavia had longed for.

"Spechou Linkon" she said, "Your actions in alliance with a former enemy you had no reason to trust have achieved the impossible, and with it hopefully an advantage to us and our allies when the inevitable war comes."

She paused briefly, Lincoln remained silent, nobody uttered a word.

"The kill order is lifted."

Octavia could barely contain her happiness; all she wanted for her and Lincoln was now possible, live where they want and go where they please without the shadow of death looming over them.

"Mochof Heda." Lincoln said, maintaining his usual quiet demeanour.

However the Commander wasn't quite finished, "Should you shame the clan again there will be no second chance, you will be executed without hesitation."

Lincoln already knew this would be the case; he simply nodded in acknowledgement.

Lexa turned and made her way to the exit but stopped before leaving, "Wanheda, update me later on Echo's condition" she said. The blonde simply nodded and the Commander made her leave. Octavia could not longer help herself; she practically pounced on Lincoln and hugged him tightly. Clarke could see what it meant to her, she couldn't recall the last time she had seen Octavia so truly happy.

* * *

Clarke had just finished putting on the outfit that Deiza had laid out for her for the meeting with the clan leaders; now she was sat alone with her thoughts having a bite to eat, however she would not be alone for long. Lexa entered but remained at the entrance of the tent, admiring Clarke's appearance. A pair of dark grey rippled pants fit tightly around her legs, a waist length brown leather jacket that showed hints of a faded pattern. A simple blue shirt showed from under the jacket, the colour perfectly matched her radiant eyes. Her boots, while now cleaned up, were the only things unchanged since her arrival in TonDC. Lexa smiled and couldn't help biting her bottom lip at the sight of her.

She cleared her throat and went to sit down next to Clarke, knowing they still had a little free time before the meeting was scheduled to start. As ordered Deiza had set a second plate of food across from Clarke, Lexa grabbed a piece of bread and took a bite. They both sat there in silence eating, enjoying the peaceful moment between them. However it would only last for a few moments before Clarke spoke up.

"I'm so glad Lincoln and Echo made it back, they did something extraordinary."

Lexa looked up at the Sky Girl and noticed the happiness in Clarke's eyes. "I am glad they made it back too, I did not like it either but as Commander there was no other choice."

"You could have handed out a hundred of those orders and ninety nine would have failed, it's a miracle they came back." Clarke added.

Lexa swallowed a piece of bread while thinking through Clarke's words. So many Commanders had given orders like this, none had ever seen them end successfully. This was not just a good outcome for Lincoln to have his kill order revoked and for Echo to have her brother back and a sense of freedom, strategically this was a great win for Lexa too.

"Lincoln will be happy to be back here, as will Octavia and with Echo and Gara here we will have a dealt a blow to Nia." She paused briefly to take a bite of her bread. "But with me being the first Commander to have ordered a successful Presh kom daun, the word will have spread quickly and reached the ears of the clan leaders here."

The look Clarke gave her in return showed the blonde had already figured this out as well.

"The clan leaders will have more faith in you and believe they made the right choice with taking your side."

While that was true, there was more to it that Clarke failed to see.

"That too yes, but they will believe this would not have been possible if Wanheda had not sided with me."

"What?"

Her words obviously shocked the Sky Girl. Lexa smirked at her and explained the situation.

"Previous Commanders never had Wanheda at their side. Maybe not the clan leaders themselves but many others believe it was you who influenced the outcome by commanding death away from Lincoln, Echo and Gara."

She could tell Clarke was completely taken by surprise at her words, it was clear as day by her expression. The blonde's lips also parted and closed a few times, as if she was searching for words that simply weren't there. However after a few awkward moments she found her tongue .

"Lexa, I can't Command death, it was simply their skill and determination that helped them get through it."

Despite what Clarke believed, Lexa thought differently. "Maybe, maybe not." she said.

Confusion filled Clarke's eyes, barely believing that the Commander actually said that. "You can't really believe I command death?"

Lexa smirked, she loved how Clarke's nose wrinkled when she looked confused, she quickly cleared her throat. "Command death? You certainly have made an impact since you arrived, Clarke. You killed my warriors in a blaze of fire, you ended the threat of the mountain with the pull of a lever and you brought back those who once were Reapers."

"Lexa, burning your warriors was a decision made out of desperation, I saw no other way to save my people, the same goes for what happened at the mountain and the Reapers were drugged by the Mountain Men and we just happened to know how to deal with that."

It slightly amused the Commander to see Clarke trying to do her best to convince herself more than Lexa that she doesn't command death.

"And yet you were smart enough to use that knowledge to convince me to take on the Mountain Men. You might not believe what my people do, but you are a leader Clarke, you look after your people, you protect them and make sacrifices in order to accomplish that. It does not matter if you believe you command death, others do and it will not harm you or anyone else to accept that."

Clarke looked ready to argue with Lexa about this but as her lips parted it looked like she realized it was pointless. She deflated in defeat and her shoulders slumped. "Fine." she said, eating the last piece of bread she had left. "You're right."

Lexa couldn't contain her smirk at that. "I am Heda, I am always right."

Clarke chuckled at those words. "Don't get cocky now."

Lexa stepped closer to Clarke and reached for her hand to link their fingers together. "I am not cocky, I am simply stating a fact." she said, kissing the top of Clarke's hand. "You are Wanheda, I am Heda and together will be strong and show the clans that they made the right decision to stay loyal to me."

Lexa expected Clarke's body to ease up and relax at her words, however the blonde did the complete opposite and felt her body stiffen. This worried the Commander and she cupped Clarke's cheek with her free hand.

"What's wrong?"

Clarke shook her head. "Nothing, I'm just tired that's all."

Lexa saw right through the lie. "Clarke." she said, the tone of her voice held warning but also reassurance. "Whatever is on your mind, please tell me."

She hesitated for a moment but when their eyes met the blonde gave in and nodded.

"Yesterday after training with Anya I found Lynn waiting in my tent, she confronted me about us."

The concern Lexa had was quickly replaced by anger, anger aimed at Lynn, her jaw moved back and forth. She had to take a few moments to calm herself down before speaking up.

"Of course she did, she knows not to go to me about this so she tries to get to you to drive us apart." she said, the tone in her voice was low. "What did she say?"

Clarke swallowed deeply before answering the question. "That you were making the same mistake you did with Costia." she said, picking her words carefully.

"Spichen!"

Lexa jumped to her feet as her anger took control for a few moments, but she realized quickly it was pointless to be angry about this now, especially with the meeting coming up soon. It was always difficult for her to talk about Costia, but she had given it a place, especially now with Clarke in her life. But for someone else to use her former lover against her, against Clarke… she will have words about this with Lynn but it will have to wait till after the meeting. All that mattered now was that Lynn didn't succeed in putting any sort of doubt in Clarke's mind. It was clear it had been troubling the blonde.

She knelt down on her knees and took Clarke's hands into her own, forcing her emerald eyes to lock with Clarke's. There was worry in them, not for herself but more aimed at Lexa, she could clearly see it. Her burst of anger was probably not something Clarke had seen coming but for Lynn to use Costia against her like that hurt too much for her to be able to hide it in front of the Sky Girl.

"Listen to me, Clarke. Lynn is a master manipulator and with her role as an elder she likes to believe she has almost as much power as I do. But she doesn't, the elders are not here to rule, they are here to teach and guard our beliefs which she often seems to forget. Please do not let her words put you in doubt. You are Wanheda, I am Heda and there is nothing Lynn can say to make me change my mind, if anything after today our position together has only strengthened, to have you away from me now will not only weaken my position as Heda but even worse it will weaken me. I do not wish for you to leave me Klark, and after what I did to you at the mountain I have no right to beg but I will. I beg you to stay with me and I promise you I will do everything in my power to never hurt you again."

Silence fell the two. With a pair of nervous eyes Lexa carefully studied Clarke, afraid she may have said the wrong thing and Clarke would leave her. Afraid that Lynn's manipulation had gotten to the Sky Girl. The fear was quickly replaced by shame for thinking someone as strong as Clarke would let herself be manipulated and as the blonde only swallowed away a lump in her throat and the silence remained Lexa was certain she had said the wrong thing and angered her.

"Clarke I'm sorry, I shouldn't hav-"

Her words were cut short when Clarke suddenly leaned forward and sealed their lips together. The kiss was gentle and slow but lasted long enough to let Lexa forget all of her previous concerns and slightly gasp when their lips parted again. The brunette blinked when Clarke cupped her cheeks and smiled.

"Lexa, you worry too much sometimes. Yes Lynn put me off a little but nothing she says will scare me away from you. I am right where I belong and Lynn might as well start getting used to it because I will never leave you."

The words brought a smile on her face and Lexa pulled Clarke into an embrace, they shared a hug together for a while until Lexa pulled away.

"As much as I would like to stay here with you for the rest of the day, we have a meeting to attend to." she said, standing back to her feet and pulling Clarke with her.

When she wanted to head out of the tent Clarke pulled her back. "Will you have time tonight, after the meeting?"

Lexa smiled. "I will have Deiza prepare us a meal in my tent and I will promise we will have all evening to ourselves."

She placed a gentle kiss on Clarke's cheek and walked outside. She couldn't see it but as Clarke walked closely behind her she knew the blonde was smiling at her. Knowing this warmed her heart; however now it was time for the Commander to do her duties, as they both approached the council chambers the brunette's face was stoic and full of authority. It would be hard to believe, unless you saw it with your own eyes, that just moments ago she was practically begging Clarke to stay with her. Only a content smile slightly moved forward when she saw Indra waiting for her outside the door.

"Heda." the TonDC chief greeted her respectfully.

"Indra it is good to see you again."

The two women clasped their arms together and Clarke was offered a slight nod by Indra before she faced Lexa again.

"You too, Heda. Anya told me there was another attempt on your life." the tone in her voice was slightly concerned.

The Commander nodded. "A failed attempt, I am fine." she assured her General. "And if Anya told you that, she must also have told you about Lincoln's kill order."

"She did." was all Indra said.

Indra always had been a woman of few words and Lexa knew what this meant to Indra. Because the Commander ordered it, she will agree but she will not openly welcome Lincoln's return to her village and Lincoln will need to prove himself again towards the village chief. Indra wasn't the only one, Lincoln will have to prove himself to the Commander again as well, that he will follow orders without question and always put his people first. But there were other matters more important right now.

"Clarke, a seat has been prepared for Wanheda, it will be flanked by the Skaikru symbol."

Lexa pointed behind Indra where several symbols were lined up together and she pointed at the symbol her people had created for Skaikru; a triquetra surrounded by stars. Clarke studied the symbol shortly and then nodded at Lexa. Lexa didn't waste any time and walked inside, Indra and Clarke following her closely. As she made her way to her throne she made note of the clan leaders flanking her. To her left she saw Luna from the boat people, it was always good to see her old friend. Next to Luna a seat had been reserved for Thoni and Clarke's seat was next to him. On her right she saw Uzac representing Broadleaf, next to him sat Meys from Rockline and closest to Lexa's throne and exactly where she wanted him was Duran. All of them got nothing from her but a quick glance as she walked to her throne.

Anya was stood to the left of it and they shortly exchanged eye contact before turning around and clasping her arms behind her back waiting for the usual greeting the Commander get's when they have these meetings. Once Clarke had reached her seat and Indra took place at the right side of her throne everyone kneeled and exclaimed her title in respect. A slight sense of proud ran through her body when she saw Clarke easily following their example.

"Rise." The one word, commanding as ever, was enough for everyone to get back up and take place again on their seats. "Before we start this meeting I have an introduction to make, some of you have already met her but this is Wanheda, the woman responsible for the fall of the mountain."

"Monin, Wanheda." the clan representatives all said together. All except Duran, which didn't go unnoticed by Lexa but she ignored it for now.

After Clarke offered them a greeting in return Lexa continued talking.

"Wanheda is also here on behalf of her people, Skaikru. They too were instrumental in the destruction of the mountain and therefore Trikru has made an alliance with them. We offer them supplies for the winter and in return they are assisting us in the restoration of TonDC as well as other things. But in regard to the divided Kongeda and the threat of the upcoming war they have also requested protection and assistance, which is something not easily granted and should be discussed together."

As expected, the clan representatives started talking to each other, mumbling in surprise. Lexa studied them all, Duran's expression remained neutral, it was probably something he expected and a quick glance to the others showed there was concern and uncertainty. Not surprising at all considering they barely know anything about Skaikru and most of them believe they are similar to the Mountain Men. But once more Duran stood out from the rest of the clans with his reaction, or lack of. Lexa was wondering now if maybe she should have seen his betrayal coming; but quickly realized that knowing he is a traitor now obviously made her look at him differently and see things she previously missed. Still Lexa was not happy with herself, as the Commander she should see these things and she was angry for missing it. Either way there was no point on dwelling on this now and she broke the concerned mumbles with a single hand gesture.

"I will hear all of your concerns and thoughts about this, there is no need to bicker amongst yourselves."

She first turned to Luna, she knew Luna would likely to be the most sceptical of them. She stood for peace and nonviolence and will no doubt be worried about Skaikru's technology.

"Luna, share your thoughts with us."

Luna nodded and stood to her feet.

"While I appreciate what you have done, Wanheda, I have trouble believing that your people want this. You were hostile when you first arrived in the lands of Trikru, you killed many of our people before you ended the mountain. From what I have heard your people think of us as primitive savages and you have weapons similar to the Mountain Men. How do we know you will not eventually use them against us?"

Lexa directed towards Clarke that she was allowed to respond.

"Luna kom Floukru." the blonde said as she stood to her feet. "I am not going to lie there are those amongst my people who believe that. But opinions always differ, they do as well among your people. We lived in space for many generations because we thought the bombs made earth uninhabitable. So when we landed we thought to be alone and when it turned out we weren't I did what I thought was right to protect my people, wouldn't you when you are about to be attacked by a group of three hundred warriors that had been sent to kill you?" The blonde took a quick breath before continuing.

"I did my best to find a peaceful way to end our differences, unfortunately that didn't work and eventually resulted in your people attacking mine and me doing what I had to, to protect my people. I won't deny we were off to a bad start, we invaded Trikru lands, our culture is closer to that of the Mountain Men than it is to yours, but that doesn't mean we are just like them. I understand that you stand for peace rather than war, isn't it in all our best interest then that we work together instead of going back to being each other's enemy?"

A hint of a smile formed on Luna's face, which told Lexa she was pleased with the answer she received. Luna had tested Clarke's political skills, Lexa knew they would not be in doubt, not after everything Clarke had been through. But of course there was always room for improvement and the Sky girl had a lot to learn still. Luna showed she was content with Clarke's answer and so she turned to Uzac and motioned for him to speak his mind.

"Luna kom Floukru makes a strong argument, how do we know you will not turn and use your weapons against us like the Mountain Men did?"

"I think we all know that is a promise I can't make because we already have used our weapons against you. But we are not like the Mountain Men, we do not take your people for their blood, or turn them into Reapers. Would you not be offended if I compared you with the Ice Nation?"

As Clarke finished her answer to Uzac's enquiry the room fell quiet, with only quiet muttering amongst a couple of clan leaders but they were soon silenced by an audible snort. The type one would make upon hearing words they believe to be false, however it wasn't Uzac making clear his distrust.

"Does something bother you, Duran?"

"With all due respect Heda but we should not discuss the entry of Skaikru into our Kongeda. They have killed hundreds of our people."

Lexa nodded. "They have, only because I sent them there, such is the risk of war."

"We dishonor our fallen warriors by allying ourselves with those responsible for their deaths." he argued in return.

"Dishonor, Duran?" The tone in her voice was low and dark as she pushed herself off her throne. "We honored our fallen, as have Skaikru albeit they suffered less casualties. Even the innocents of the Mountain Men, let down by their leaders have been paid their due respects. You on the other hand, know nothing of honor."

Surprised by the Commander's words, worry crept onto his face. "Heda?" he asked confused.

Lexa turned to the guards at the door; giving them a slight nod they proceeded to open the door. Rylan limped inside, one guard following closely behind him. While everyone in the room aimed their focus at Rylan, Lexa kept her eyes locked on Duran who turned pale and cowered back into his seat. There he sat for what felt like forever, but was mere moments, a paralyzing feeling of dread growing inside him. He could do nothing but wait for the Commander's next words.

"Do you know who this is, Duran?" she asked the Delfikru leader as Rylan stood where he was directed, not taking her eyes off Duran even for a moment.

He quickly shook his head. "N-no Heda, I do not."

"No?" she said quirking an eyebrow and taking a few steps closer to him. "Well allow me to refresh your memory. He is Rylan, a man with unmatched knowledge of the tunnel network that surrounds Polis. A network only known to him and myself until his son was kidnapped and he was forced to share this knowledge with Nia which greatly helped her in taking control of Polis."

She took a few more paces closer to him, noticing he was forcefully grabbing the armrests of his chair.

"When my scouts captured Rylan, I questioned him to understand why he betrayed me. When he claimed his son was taken I sent the same scouts out to investigate. It ended with some of them following an Ice Nation warrior after he visited Rylan's farm. Would you like to know what they discovered from following that warrior?"

All eyes were aimed at Duran. The remaining clan representatives eyed him suspiciously when he remained silent at Lexa's question.

"They found you, talking to the Ice Nation warrior, discussing Rylan and his son."

Silent, the room fell completely silent. All eyes staring daggers at Duran who remained as pale as a ghost, the man didn't know where to look. A few moments later the silence was broken by Uzac and Meys jumping to their feet.

"Natrona!" they both yelled, almost simultaneously.

This seemed to trigger a shift in his demeanour, like some sort of self-preservation instinct kicked in. Now with some color in his face he too jumped to his feet in a wave of anger.

"You all are the natrona!" he exclaimed, frantically waving his arms around, gesturing everyone in the room.

"You support a false leader who makes treaties with the enemy and then let another enemy do what we were destined to. You are all-"

Before he could say another word Kensi stepped behind Duran and silenced him with a swift strike to the side of his head, it wasn't a hard blow but enough to disorient him and force him down to his knees. The tip of her sword was pressed to the back of his neck only moments later. Now recovered from the shock of being discovered, his face held anger and did not look worried by his current situation. At least that is what it likely looked like to most people. Lexa saw through his facade and knew he was hiding behind fear; the anger was just a defense mechanism which she was determined to break down.

"I did what any leader should have done at the mountain, Duran kom Delfikru, I put my people first and got them all out of the mountain without any further bloodshed. War should always be a last resort, everyone in this room is here because they understand this, unlike you."

With her hands clasped behind her back Lexa started pacing around him while aiming an intimidating glare at him.

"You support a woman who lives only for greed and power and when she has the power she wants, how long do you think it will take before she starts turning against your people, or any of the other clans that have sided with her?"

She stopped her pacing once she was in front of him again.

"It's ok to be silent, you will not live long enough to see what will happen regardless." the Commander said. "One way or another you will die, here in this room. But only your cooperation will ensure your death will be quick and painless."

"He should not be granted such mercy." Meys said. "He does not deserve it."

Lexa looked at the Ambassador and nodded. "He does not, but Rylan's knowledge of the tunnels is a crucial part of taking back Polis, which I cannot use until his son is safe, once I know the location of his son he can be rescued and we can get one step closer to retaking Polis."

Uzac stepped next to Meys. "If the information Rylan holds is so crucial we should torture him for the information until he relents." he snared at Lexa's former friend.

Luna, who had remained calmly on her seat until now, stood to her feet and joined the other Ambassadors. "A parent would rather suffer and die than forfeit the life of their child. Torturing Rylan for information will be a waste of time, nor should it ever be an option." she glanced at Lexa shortly with the last few words she said.

The Commander knew the meaning behind it, Luna would rather Lexa not torture Duran either. It was not what her old friend stood for. It also was something Lexa would rather not resort to, but as Commander she must be willing do anything to protect her people. She stains her soul in order to protect them, Luna is not like that and that is why she ran from the conclave, that is why she never would have been a good Commander. That didn't mean she wasn't welcome in the Coalition, Luna stands for peace and that is something Lexa hopes to achieve some day, if that would even be possible. Right now peace was very far away and her focus was Duran and getting him to tell her the location. A tactic to do just that was slowly forming in her mind as she faced the Delfikru leader again.

"I will not tell you anything." he instantly said.

"I believe you will, Duran." she said calmly. "As you might have noticed, the Lake People have sided with us now, Thoni is here representing the Lake People leader, Colin."

He looked up, slightly confused at the mention of his name, not expecting Lexa to allow Colioh's son to rule his people. It was the reaction she hoped for.

"So you are already aware that Colioh is dead but unaware that his son has taken his place, interesting." she said kneeling down to match his level. "That is not how Nia operates. Fail her and she will kill you along with the rest of your family. Your daughter, your sons… "

Duran shrugged. "She will not kill them when you return my head to them." he said confidently.

Lexa hummed in agreement. "She will not, she will see what I see; with you dead your daughter will be in charge of your people, a leader far more capable than you."

He just shrugged at her words and remained silent, awaiting the point Lexa was trying to make. The Clan leaders and representatives all joined him in that and she faintly heard a pair of soft footsteps closing in on her, they were familiar footsteps and she knew Clarke was close behind her, also curious where Lexa was going with this and silently showing she had her back.

"You care for her greatly, more so than your two sons." she continued. "If you tell me where Rylan's son is you have my word that she will not end up tied to a tree here in TonDC, slowly dying to a thousand cuts."

Once more he remained calm, not intimidated by her threats. "That will not happen because you are not going to win this war, you will be dead long before it ends." he sneered at her with a wicked smile.

"You are under the impression I need this war to end in order to capture her and have her brought to TonDC. That is where you are greatly mistaken, Duran. Yesterday I became the first Commander to successfully order a presh kom daun, you must have heard this too, if not a bit of an exaggerated version of it, gossip tends to do that. But I will ensure you, Duran, I have found the right people to extract someone from Polis for me, I will also find the right people to send to your capital and extract your daughter no matter how long it takes. Just like everyone else in this room you know that I am true to my word, there is no land where she will be safe, she will be hunted down for the rest of her life even if my fight ends. But if you tell me the location of Rylan's son you will not only ensure the life of his child, but also that of yours."

The resilient mask he so proudly brandished was slowly starting to crack with every second that passed. He was thinking through his options and slowly realizing he had none left. He glared at her in anger and she understood why, Lexa hated herself for resorting to this, for threatening a man's child to get the information she needs. But as Commander she must do this in order to save the life of another child and hopefully make the first step in the right direction to turn the tides of the upcoming war. For now she only threatened his daughter, however if he continued to refuse to comply the only other option would be to threaten the lives of his two sons as well. She really hoped it would not come to that, as she said Lexa is a woman of her word; if this traitor would not tell her what she demands to know then she would send Keara and her scouts out to hunt down his family.

The room fell silent, all those present awaited Duran's words but so far they had not come, but his silence was not paired with the arrogant resilience he previously showed. Lexa could see this, his eyes were twitching left to right, right to left. He was assessing his situation. Lexa, growing ever more impatient with every second that passed, was about to bring up his two sons in a way he would fear to help persuade him when he finally broke his silence.

"The child is in Easta, where your scouts found me… " he said softly as he lowered his eyes, focusing on the floor below him. "The house they found me in, it has a shelter below it, the child is in there."

Kensi hauled him to his feet at the Commander's orders, the tip of her sword slid under his chin, forcing his head up and giving Duran no other option but to look Lexa in the eyes.

"How many guards are in the shelter, how big is it?" she asked.

Duran swallowed deeply before he answered. "It is about half the size of this room, there will be five guards inside and a servant to look after the child. The guards change shift at sunset."

This was all the information she needed. Lexa stepped forward and pulled out her knife. "Very well, Duran. If this information turns out to be correct and we manage to free the child as well as the villagers being held prisoner I will leave your daughter alone, but if the child dies she will too, I give you my word on that. Regardless of what happens, you will not live to see it. You have shamed your clan and your family whether they conspired with you or not."

The Commander wasted no more words and as promised granted him a quick death. She plunged her knife into his heart, there was a short grunt just before he slumped down in Kensi's arms, breathing out his last breath.

"Kensi, prepare his body for travel but he will not leave until we have freed Rylan's son. The outcome of the mission will determine if Duran returns to his people whole or just his head."

"Sha, Heda." she said, but Lexa stopped her just before she left the room.

"Hod op, Kensi." she said and turned to Meys. "I noticed Lando was one of the people you arrived with here in TonDC."

Lando is the person to Meys who Gustus had been to Lexa for many years. He is a good man and also very trustworthy. Lexa even had fought a few battles with Lando and Meys and knew his skills matched that of Keara.

"That is correct, Heda." she answered.

"I would like for him to accompany Keara and her scouts on the mission to Easta."

Lexa saw the eyes of the Rockline leader widen in surprise at this. She gave a content nod. "Thank you Heda, for including one of my people in such an important matter, I am certain it would be his honor to join your people in this mission."

"Very well, Kensi inform Keara of what needs to be done and inform her I want regular reports on her progress."

Kensi once again nodded and then disappeared with Duran's body hoisted over her shoulder. Lexa returned to her throne and sat down, the rest of the room mirrored her actions and patiently awaited her word. Lexa was glad they were one step closer in her plan to retake Polis, to free it. It pained her to think of what Nia was putting her people through in order to maintain control and prevent the city from turning against her. The Commander also thought it important to include one of the clans in the rescue mission, keeping the clans involved was vital to maintain their alliance towards her, she will not be able to win this war without them and it was important to show them just that.

But now with the matter of Rylan and Duran taken care of there was plenty to talk about still. She leaned back in her throne and shortly glared at Clarke who gave her a reassuring nod. It felt good to know that the blonde has her back. Lexa was right, Heda and Wanheda together did make her stronger. They both know it now and in time the other clans will see it too. There still was a long road to go however, a road to be taken one step at the time so Lexa turned her attention back to the clan leaders and continued the discussion that Duran had interrupted, Skaikru joining what was left of the Coalition.

* * *

Raven looked up to the sky before closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath of the afternoon air. It was a nice day considering the winter was nearing. She was sitting on top of one of the two carts holding the last of the supplies needed to help everyone at the Ark for the Winter. This was the last run before everything was settled and she no longer had an excuse to go to TonDC. While never admitting it publicly she liked it there, the time she had spent at the village was quite pleasant; she spoke a bit more with Aden and even went to see the grumpy old lady a few times.

While Raven liked to call her the grumpy old lady, Aden told Raven her actual name was Rona. They didn't talk much, the brunette usually just came to check up on her and enjoy the delicious soup Rona makes. Raven knew Rona wasn't one for talking anytime she tried to get a conversation going she just got the usual grunt or shrug in response. So if Aden was around she would just start a conversation with the boy. However today he hadn't been there and Rona had only grunted out the word healer, which made Raven think Aden was having his broken arm looked at by a healer.

TonDC was a nice place to be and she was slightly jealous at Clarke and Octavia for being able to stay there. She was also glad that Lincoln had returned to the Blake girl, albeit not injury free but he came back to her. Octavia had been anything but good company and Raven was glad that she got to see Octavia happy before leaving the village. The people from the Ark and the grounders were slowly getting along now, most of them anyway as Raven quickly glanced to Nyc who was riding next to one of the Trikru ordered to guard the convoy. They were in light conversation but Raven decided to quickly direct her gaze elsewhere before Nyc could notice her.

They had barely spoken to each other since the incident in her workshop. Nyc had stayed true to his word and was keeping his distance from her. Only when necessary for the supply runs would they speak, but as little as possible. Yet still those moments were difficult and she was struggling to hide her feelings. But it was for the best, Raven could not afford to get close to someone. Especially not now, especially not a Grounder. She didn't care how often she had to tell this to herself. Besides, after this supply run she is back at the Ark and he will go back to TonDC. It is more than likely they will never see each other again.

_Just a few more hours Raven, you can do-_

The whirling sound of an arrow interrupted her thoughts; a startled yelp escaped her lips as she saw the arrow missing her by just a couple of inches and landing in the neck of the woman riding the cart. She heard more arrows flying by followed by grunts of pain once they hit their target and panic immediately struck her; they were being attacked.

"Zog raun!" she heard someone yell.

Raven didn't need to speak Trigedasleng to be almost certain the person yelling was warning everyone they were being ambushed. Slightly panicked she looked around her only to see the warriors defending the cart fall from arrows one by one. Her eyes turned to Nyc and she saw him being attacked by two men. She immediately reached for the gun at her hip and jumped down from the cart. Raven didn't hesitate and aimed the gun at one of the men attacking Nyc before pulling the trigger. The ambusher immediately collapsed and the fight was now easier for Nyc with only one enemy to fight, although Raven thought he was doing well already with the odds against him. His bulky figure had been an advantage in that fight.

Raven quickly glanced around, looking who else she could help. There were so many and a feeling of dread began to build in her stomach, she wondered if they would even make it out of this alive. For every Trikru warrior there seemed to be 3 enemies. She just started shooting with her gun, doing her best to take out as many enemies as she could. But as she aimed again, ready to shoot an enemy that was about to bury his sword into a Trikru warrior a hand wrapped around her wrist and yanked her arm up.

She got her shot off but with her arm being pulled she missed her target. She looked on as her attempt to save the Trikru warrior failed, the tip of the enemy's sword pierced through the Trikru warrior's chest and out through his back. Moments later he dropped to the ground. The grip around her wrist increased as she was jerked and she felt a fist slamming hard into her gut. The brunette let out a grunt of pain, the pressure on her wrist combined with the strong punch to her stomach caused her to drop the gun. Raven gasped for air and looked up at the person attacking her. It was a young woman, scars marked her face and hid the beautiful features her face no doubt once held. She had dark hair and gazed at Raven with malice.

"You fight with the weapon of a coward, you are just like the Mountain Men." she hissed at Raven. As she released her grip of Raven's wrist; she then pushed her hard.

Raven stumbled backwards into the cart, her injured leg buckling under her weight causing her great pain, but she managed to remain standing . She tried to hold back the cry of pain by grinding down on her teeth as hard as she could but the grimace on her face still betrayed the fact that a simple shove had caused her incredible amounts of pain.

The woman, who by now she realized was Ice Nation due to the scars on her face, noticed this too. She pulled out a knife and with a wicked grin plunged the knife into Raven's injured leg. No amount of effort was stopping this cry of pain escaping Raven's lips, her Ice Nation attacker held the knife in her leg for a few seconds before slowly pulling it out. Her screams echoed through the very edges of the woods, Raven slid down to the ground, her back scraping against the cart. In her haze of pain she could have sworn she heard Nyc cry out her name but she was too busy clutching her leg, trying to find a way to decrease the pain she was suffering.

She closed her eyes, trying her best to not let panic take over and telling herself she's tougher than this, that a little knife wound won't stop Raven Reyes. The Engineer had no idea how long it took her to calm down but eventually the pain subsided enough and her breathing became controllable again. At that same time she noticed the fighting was over, she didn't hear battle cries or clashing swords anymore and when her eyes opened she saw why. They had been overrun, every Trikru warrior had been killed or was moments away from death with an Ice Nation soldier approaching them, ready to end their lives. A wave of dread ran through her entire body when she saw the woman who attacked her just moments ago stepping away from Nyc's motionless body, tucking away a bloodied sword behind her back.

It felt as if that sword had been pierced through her own heart, she had fought so hard against her feelings towards the Trikru ambassador only to watch him die. It pained her more than any physical pain she had endured in her life, her injured leg was nothing more than a minor ache compared to the anguish in her heart right now. In her mind all she wanted to do was pummel this woman's face over and over and strangle the life out of her, but all her body could manage was to glare at this woman with a mixture of rage, grief and tears.

At least she was only going to experience this pain for a short while, the woman had almost reached her and the same knife that had been in her leg was in the woman's hand again.

She knelt down to match Raven's height, an evil smile on her face. "Reivon kom Skaikru." she said patting the flat side of her knife at Raven's leg. "Today is your lucky day, you will not die today."

Raven shrugged at this, she didn't feel lucky about that and much rather died with the rest of the people here. "You might as well kill me now because whatever you need me for, I won't help you." she said, doing her best to sound as convincing as possible.

The Ice Nation woman placed her knife under Raven's chin, using it to force the brunette to look up. Raven put up little resistance; she noticed her attacker eyeing her beaten, bloody body before locking her gaze with Raven's.

"You are frikdreina, if it were up to me I'd kill you right now. But I have orders not to, so I will patiently wait for the moment I can rid the world of another weakling."

Those were the last words Raven heard before she saw the handle of the knife coming at her, knocking her unconscious.

* * *

"You did well during the council meeting, Clarke."

Clarke looked up at Lexa, who was in the process of cutting a slice of bread. The meeting had long since passed and the night was falling. As the two women agreed they were having dinner together but after the meeting Clarke had stuck around for a while to get to know the other Clan representatives while Lexa left to attend to some duties. Thoni of course Clarke already knew, but it was good to see him again and he informed her on how things were going back at Selin and the rest of the Lake people. Things were looking up for them, which must have been a nice change for the people after having lived under the harsh rule of Colioh for years.

Luna too had been an interesting person to meet. The boat people were different from the other clans, they stood for peace and no violence but with the upcoming danger the leader of the Boat People knew that she had to sacrifice parts of that goal to ensure that the Ice Queen will not succeed in her mission to overthrow Lexa. Having Nia as the leader of the twelve clans would be devastating for her people. Clarke learned that they have little to offer when it comes to forces, but there were other things needed on the brink of war apart from weapons and soldiers.

Meys and Uzac on the other hand were nothing like Thoni and Luna. They were not as open and kind to her and even going as far to push her patience and political skills to their limits. Mainly during the meeting; but also continued to do so once business was taken care of. She couldn't blame them though, Clarke and her people were new and they got off to a bad start. Bad didn't even begin to describe it, Clarke would often take a moment to appreciate how lucky her and her people are that Lexa is the Commander,it's very likely any other leader would have already sent the full might of their army at the Sky People; every single Sky Person would more than likely have been slaughtered long before now .

It had been a long and tiresome day, she was glad it was finally over. They had taken another step in the war against Nia and her allies and Clarke hopes that Keara and her scouts will be able to free the child and the villagers without any casualties. It was almost too much to hope for but she does so nonetheless.

"Are you going to stand there all day or join me for dinner?"

Lexa's docile tone brought her thoughts back to reality, locking eyes with the brunette Clarke couldn't help but notice the slightest of smirks on Lexa's face. Clarke smiled back at her and went to sit down opposite Lexa, placing a gentle kiss at her cheek before pulling away the slice of bread Lexa had cut for herself. Clarke put some meat on it and took a bite before Lexa could complain.

The Commander just shook her head smirking and cut herself another slice; covered it with some meat as well and started eating.

"I meant what I said, Clarke, you did well at today's meeting. Afterwards too."

The Sky Girl raised an eyebrow at Lexa's approval. "How do you even know that, you left after the meeting."

"I am Heda, Clarke." she said, holding a smirk on her face. "I am always watching."

Clarke chuckled but said nothing and just took another bite of her dinner.

Lexa took a few sips of wine before speaking up again. "I may also have spoken to Luna before I retired for the night."

Clarke just rolled her eyes and let out a light chuckle at Lexa's words. They continued their dinner with light conversation, talking about today's events and how the shipments between Arkadia and TonDC had been going. Clarke wouldn't openly admit it yet but she was going to miss Raven. They hadn't talked much, mostly because Clarke made it clear she didn't want to but in all honesty she missed her. It seemed that she was having trouble staying mad at the women in her life. Whether it was Lexa, Raven or her mother, even with the differences between them she could not find it in herself to hold a grudge. Really it was almost a blessing in disguise, in these times they all needed to be on the same level, fighting amongst each other was not going to help them fight off the Ice Nation.

She could feel Lexa's eyes burning into her skull and when she looked up from her plate, at which she apparently had been staring at for quite some time, she saw the brunette smirk at her.

"What?" Clarke asked, wondering what she could be smirking at this time.

"You look beautiful when you ponder."

The kind and calming words caused her cheeks to heat up, she hated how easily Lexa could make her blush but could do nothing about it.

"I was not pondering." she quickly snapped back.

"Then why were you staring endlessly at your empty plate, perhaps you were hoping food would magically appear on it?"

The blonde simply smiled at the Commander's teasing words.

"I was just thinking how I don't seem to be able to stay angry at people for very long." she said but quickly realizing that might not be the best thing to talk about with Lexa. alas the words had already been spoken, it was too late to take it back.

"I mean, I didn't-"

Before she could stumble over anymore of her own words Lexa cut her off with a gentle smile. "Do not worry, Clarke, I realize you did not say this in my regard, I assume you mean Raven and the argument you had with her about what she said regarding your father?"

Clarke only offered a nod in response, she saw Lexa putting her plate aside and moving her chair next to Clarke, reaching for her hand and lacing their fingers together.

"May I ask what happened?"

"What happened?" Clarke was unsure what she meant.

"To your father."

Clarke swallowed, she did not expect that question but nodded at Lexa.

"He discovered the Ark was running out of oxygen and wanted to go public with it, the council disagreed, found out and stopped us from doing so. They executed my father and I was locked up. I always believed my best friend Wells was the one who sold us out, but on the ground I found out that it was actually my Mom who told the council."

Lexa squeezed Clarke's hand in comfort. "In order to survive we often make difficult choices; choices we regret with our heart but with our mind know to be the right one." she said, clearly understanding her mother's decision.

"I did not know that then. I do know that now but it still is difficult to be around my mother sometimes. Her decision meant the end of my father's life, he was my rock, Lexa. Sometimes I wonder how I'm still a sane person without him."

Clarke looked down at her plate again, sad to be thinking about her father now. But then she felt fingers brush across her cheek, gently being cupped in Lexa's hand, the brunette forcing Clarke to aim her eyes at her own calming expression.

"It is because you are not without him, Clarke. Part of his spirit lives on within you. The spirits of the former Commanders live on in me and their guidance has often helped me make decisions since the day I became Commander. I know your father is responsible for who you are now and it was his guidance that has helped you survive ever since you landed on the ground."

Clarke shrugged at that, shaking her head in disbelief. "Right, I know for a fact that is not true, I am responsible for the death of hundreds of people, guilty and innocent. My father made his decision to go public about the oxygen issue because he wanted to save lives, to save our people and not to get anyone killed. If anything he would be disappointed and that hurts because I thought about how disappointed he would have been in me so often, I've even had him haunt me in my nightmares."

Lexa released their interlaced fingers and now placed both hands on Clarke's cheeks. Clarke saw Lexa searching for her eyes, her expression no longer resembled anything you could describe as calm but far more stern. This was new to Clarke, she had seen the brunette stern as the Commander, but right now the woman holding her cheeks, searching for her undivided attention was definitely not the Commander.

"Then you are more like you father than you give yourself credit for, Clarke kom Skaikru. All you have done, you did for your people. The sacrifices, the survival when we were still at war, you looked after them just like your father wanted to do when you were still on the Ark. You have described him as a good man and I know he is a good father because he raised you into the woman you are today. A natural born leader who cares, who will do what it takes to protect her people even if that means she will have to sacrifice part of her soul to do so. Your father would be more than proud of what his daughter has become, he would know the harsh world you live in now and he would know you had to adapt to survive. He knows this because he is with you still and guides you, forms you into the strong, proud, caring and beautiful woman you are. I see this, your mother sees this; you must see this too Clarke."

Clarke felt tears filling up her eyes. Damn her, damn Lexa, the brunette was going to make her cry. A weakness she does not want to show in front of the Commander. But Lexa is forcing this out of her and Clarke had no idea how to stop it. So she didn't, she dropped her resistance and just let the tears escape the cage in her eyes and cried.

"I don't deserve any of this." she said softly, shaking her head but with Lexa still holding her cheeks their eyes were still locked together.

Lexa's thumbs brushed away the tears. "What do you mean?" she asked the blonde.

"I don't deserve his love, or guidance. I don't deserve your love. Half of the people I killed were yours, Lexa. And yet you sit here at my side trying to prove to me that I mean the world to you."

She felt Lexa shift around and before she knew it the brunette pulled Clarke in for a hug. The blonde felt a hand on the back of her head, she happily let it guide her tear streamed face into the crook of Lexa's neck. As Clarke felt Lexa's other arm wrap around her back she responded in kind, she firmly wrapped both of her arms around the comforting figure. This was exactly what she needed right now, the brunette's familiar scent flowing into her nostrils along with the comforting embrace, seeing a side of Lexa reserved only for that one special person. She would be happy to stay like this with Lexa, forever.

It was not only because Lexa thought Clarke needed this right now, it was also because Clarke had laid herself bare to the Commander, to Lexa and the brunette in turn opened the gates to her heart for Clarke to take. The gates had been sealed for so long and Clarke was the one to open them and Lexa granted access. She knew some part of Lexa still thought of love as a weakness, something for her enemies to exploit as they had so with Costia, which had caused the brunette a pain that never can be cured, much like the death of her father. A pain they now share and despite all of what had happened Lexa let her in and Clarke let Lexa in. Together they are Heda and Wanheda and together they are Clarke and Lexa.

Much to her regret, Lexa pulled away from the hug and a shiver suddenly ran down Clarke's spine when she saw that Lexa's eyes held an emotion she recognized instantly; passion.

"You do mean the world to me, meizen, and if you do not believe my words, allow me to just show you… "

Lexa leaned forward, still with the blonde's cheeks cupped, she kissed her. As their tongues slowly began to passionately dance with each other, Clarke felt a hand sliding down her back, Lexa then pulled her body into her own and held it tightly.

Clarke happily takes in the kiss, feeling so much passion and emotion in it and whimpering slightly as Lexa pulled away with a slight tug at Clarke's lower lip. She suddenly felt another tear slide down her cheek which Lexa discarded with her thumb.

Clarke looked up to the brunette, words weren't needed in this moment. They knew exactly what they were saying to each other by just their gaze. So when Lexa stood to her feet, holding out her hands for Clarke to take there was no hesitation and when she did the Commander helped her to her feet. Lexa once again pressed their lips together, Clarke immediately opened her mouth and their tongues danced together as the blonde felt Lexa's hand reaching under her shirt, fingers slowly making patterns on her back. They held onto the kiss for as long as they could, once they broke it, both of them gasping slightly, Clarke suddenly realized they had somehow made it close to Lexa's bed. Her bright blue eyes looked up at Lexa.

"Lexa?" she asked, her voice sounding raspy.

The brunette brushed some hair away from her face. "Yes Clarke?" she said while brushing her thumb over Clarke's cheek.

"Show me… "

With the words barely spoken Lexa's hands went to the hem of her shirt, Clarke took a step back to give Lexa the space to pull the fabric over Clarke's head. As soon as the Commander discarded the shirt she stared at Clarke's body, taking in the vision of beauty that stood before her, the perfection of her natural curves, she was stunned . Her lower lip trembled slightly before she leaned forward and began to kiss Clarke everywhere she could, starting at her lips, then slowly moving down her neck and between her breasts before going back up and pulling an earlobe into her mouth, sucking it slightly before letting it go with a slight tug. For the moment she had Clarke completely at her mercy.

Clarke leaned her head back, moaning at how Lexa knew exactly how to kiss her, every touch increasing the heat she felt pooling between her legs. She gasped when she felt a hand gently massage her still covered breasts, expertly moving from one to the next, thumb rubbing the perk nipples that pushed through the fabric of her bindings.

"Lexa." she barely managed to gasp out her name before the brunette found her lips again.

She opened her mouth and their tongues found each other once again, Clarke now putting her own hands to work and making sure to even the playing field, reaching for Lexa's shirt and pulling it off, briefly breaking their kiss to do so. Clarke looked at her in awe, eyes exploring her figure down to the toned stomach of the commander, her hands sliding down the abs that were slightly showing there. It showed that Lexa is a strong, well trained warrior. She let's her hands slide up over Lexa's arms; she traced her fingers over the Commander's tribal tattoo, admiring the detail and precision of its application.

Lexa grabbed her hand; again linking their fingers together as once more she leaned down and began passionately kiss Clarke's neck, occasionally nipping at her pulse. She was reminded how well this turned the blonde on by her moans of delight, Lexa continued with a smile on her face. In turn Clarke being able to feel that Lexa was smiling as she pleasured her caused her moans to increase in intensity. The wistful assault on her neck continued as Lexa's hands made their way down Clarke's back and expertly untied the bindings that had kept the blonde's breasts covered, she dropped the binding to the ground and pushed her body into Clarke's as close as she could before breaking off the barrage of kisses to admire Clarke's uncovered beauty.

Excitement and lust filled her face and she didn't try to hide it. "You are so beautiful Clarke." she said before getting hold of her breasts, the pair barely fitting in her hands as she bent down and happily wrapped her lips around one of Clarke's nipples.

The loud moan that escaped Clarke's lips was likely heard by the guards outside the tent but neither of them had a care in the world right now, the Commander did the exact same thing to her other breast, causing a similar gasp of pleasure to spill from her lips. It felt so good to have Lexa touching her, kissing her, exploring her body with lust and care. They had both waited for this moment to happen for so long, had it not been for the few interruptions it might have been sooner but in a way Clarke was glad those interruptions had happened. This moment, right here in Lexa's tent felt perfect and she wouldn't trade it for anything. Through all the chaos going on this was their moment, there was no space for Heda and Wanheda. This was Lexa's moment. This was Clarke's moment and Clarke knew tonight was going to be a night she would never forget.

"Lexa… please… " she gasped as Lexa directed her attention away from Clarke's breasts and started nipping at the skin above it, making a path back to the blonde's lips.

"Patience, Clarke."

She suddenly felt Lexa's hands guide her to the bed and before she knew it she was lying on top of the soft furs with Lexa straddled on top of her, her eyes darkened as they traversed up and down Clarke's body. Clarke placed her hands on Lexa's hips and ran them across her stomach, caressing the abs that showed with every breath she took. Lexa leaned back, hands placed down just above Clarke's breasts before sliding them down over the warm skin, fingers brushing the nipples, which caused Clarke's body to jerk up, the contact was brief as Lexa's hands continued down until they reached the buttons of Clarke's pants and she slowly started to undo them until all four buttons were loose.

It took Lexa little effort to discard the pair of pants, her hands finding their way up on Clarke's legs, stopping when they reached the top of the pair of boxers that tightly hugged Clarke's thighs. Clarke watched as Lexa elegantly took care of those too and now she was completely naked on Lexa's bed. The brunette tossed Clarke's underwear aside as she stood over her, her eyes drinking in the view, their usual green color now darkened by the lust that was taking over.

"You are so beautiful, Clarke." she said as she positioned herself back on top of her, placing a quick kiss on the blonde's lips. "I will show you just how much."

She continued to gently kiss Clarke's cheeks before once again finding her earlobe and lightly nibble on it. Her hand began to knead one of the blonde's breasts, once more causing her to moan with pleasure. As Lexa released her earlobe, she shifted her grip to the other breast while her lips started to leave a trail of kisses down her body. Clarke released a loud moan once again when the lips found her nipple and she felt Lexa's tongue swirling around it before releasing the nipple, slightly brushing it with her teeth as she did so.

"Lexa… " was all she managed to say as the brunette moved to do the same to her other breast. The hand that been caressing it previously now behind Clarke's back to press their bodies closer, the feeling of their skin touching was nice but to Clarke, could be better. She decided to change that, her hands reached behind Lexa's back to release the binding she was still wearing. She tossed it aside and looked at the beautiful woman on top of her, eyes widening at the perfect figure before her. Not only appreciating the perfect and well trained body of the Commander, but also the beautiful breasts before her. While less ample than her own, they were perfect to Clarke and she latched onto them with her hands, thumbs brushing over the perk nipples.

The softest of moans that Lexa released because of that was the most beautiful thing she's ever heard and only increased the heat pooling between her legs, she knew she was turned on, but how could she not with this woman lying on top of her. Clarke wanted to roll over and take care of Lexa, suddenly no longer caring about how Lexa already promised she would do the same but Lexa wouldn't let her and pressed her body down, her eyes fixated on Clarke's.

"Let me take care of you Clarke, beja. Let me show you how much you mean to me, how you deserve the world… "

Clarke gave in to Lexa's pleas and nodded, leaning back and allowing Lexa to regain control. The brunette immediately went down again, kissing Clarke on the lips until her lips parted and Lexa's tongue delved inside her mouth. One of Lexa's hands sliding over her thighs as she started to move her mouth away from the blonde's lips and moved her head down, first placing a kiss on her chin, then her pulse point and then in the valley of her breasts. Clarke pressed her body up, or tried to at least to get more contact with Lexa, contact she was desperately craving. The trikru woman let her as she moved her hands to Clarke's breasts, massaging them both, forcing a moan of pleasure from the blonde and it seemed as if Lexa had decided there and then she wanted to hear it again but then even louder. She moved her head to one breast first, latching onto the nipple with her lips, twirling it with her tongue before letting go and giving the other breast the same attention, succeeding in her mission to get Clarke to release an even louder moan, this time combining it with chanting Lexa's name.

In response she heard Lexa releasing a soft cry of pleasure herself and it seemed to be enough for the Commander to make her next move. Shivers ran down her spine when she felt Lexa's hand move between her legs and before she knew it she felt two fingers dipping inside of her; it was the most pleasurable sensation she had ever felt in her life, and in her mind she knew it would only get better. She needed Lexa, right there and then. She needed the young woman to show her just how much she meant to her. She moved up her hips, in that movement finding the only way to make Lexa understand she needed her, and Lexa understood impeccably. She looked up and Clarke's blue eyes were lost in those of Lexa. She understood what the blonde was trying to tell her, she took her other hand and wrapped it around her waist, steadying the blonde while she started moving her fingers back and forth in a steady motion.

"Leksa… " Clarke exclaimed as she threw her head back and closed her eyes.

At Clarke's plea the brunette increased her pace, every now and then twisting and curling her fingers, trying to find out which action gave the blonde the most pleasure. Clarke knew that only after curling her fingers once or twice Lexa had found the right spot as the Sky Girl's body jerked up with that very movement.

"Chek ai au, Klark." Clarke obeyed immediately and tilted her head up. She opened her eyes to be met by Lexa's dark green eyes, they were full of fiery passion and lust, her face was truly a wondrous vision to behold in that moment. "Look at me and come for me, I want to see how beautiful you look when you do."

As Lexa said this she curled her fingers once more and Clarke could feel the world was slowly coming down on her, she wasn't far from release now. This feeling only increased when she felt Lexa's thumb finding her clit and gently rubbing it while she kept pumping her fingers in and out and curling them every now and then. A new wave of pleasure rushed through her body and she knew she was close, so very close.

And then she fell over the edge, her body exploded with all manner of sensations that were indescribable. She let free a cry she was sure all of TonDC could hear as the sensation ran all over her body. She threw her head back, almost uncontrollably, as she trembled vigorously to what she was feeling. Lexa continued to watch her with a devilish smile and Clarke didn't even have to see her to know she was watching her. Her fingers still slowly moving inside of her as Clarke's orgasm was slowly settling. As she kept shuddering Clarke knew she had never felt this way before in her life. This feeling, it was more than just passion, more than just pleasure. The blonde knew what it was and as she was slowly recovering from the orgasm she knew what her next words were going to be. The Sky Girl watched as Lexa finally removed her fingers; sliding her hands up her sweaty body, purposely brushing Clarke's nipples, causing the blonde to shudder again before Lexa leaned down and kissed Clarke on the lips. She closed her eyes briefly, until the kiss ended and then she looked at Lexa, who was still leaning over her.

"Ai hod yu in, Leksa kom Trikru."

Lexa's lips parted in surprise for only a moment, but she recovered quickly from the unexpected yet welcomed words and her lips curled up into a smile.

"I love you too, Clarke of the Sky People, more than you will ever know." she said. and moved aside, lying down next to Clarke, elbow planted on the furs below them and head resting in her hand.

"Oh I don't know, I have a pretty good idea of it now." the blonde answered with a smirk, leaning forward to give her a quick kiss.

Lexa chuckled at her words, pulling a strand of blonde hair away from her face. In response Clarke leaned forward again, planting another kiss on the brunette's lips.

"And I think… " she said, planting another kiss, this time on her cheek. "I think it is time for me to show you how much you mean to me now."

Without warning she pushed forward, forcing the Commander on her back and straddling her hips. Lexa's lips parted slightly, more from the view above her than the surprising action from the blonde, Clarke saw her hands moving up to her breasts already but she grabbed hold of her wrists and pushed her hands down.

"Please, Lexa." she pleaded and released the other woman's wrist, as Lexa slightly nodded.

Instead she moved her hands towards Lexa's breasts, gently massaging them in her quest to get to know them better, thumbs moving over the pebbled nipples. A soft moan was the response she got from it causing Clarke to realize Lexa was more reserved than she was, at least for now. But she didn't care, the sounds she made were beautiful and the pleasure that showed from Lexa only increased the beauty on the woman's face.

Wanting to hear more of this, Clarke leaned down and started to suck on one of Lexa's nipples, once more hearing a soft moan before she let go and let her lips leave a trail of kisses along her collarbone and then making her way back to the brunette's plump lips. Lexa happily separated them and Clarke delved her tongue inside, letting it lead the dance with Lexa's. As the women kissed Clarke slid her hands down Lexa's body until she reached her pants, expertly releasing the buttons with just one hand while the other moved over Lexa's stomach, letting her fingers explore the muscles she felt there.

Quickly deciding that Lexa's pants had been on for too long she positioned herself right and made quick work of her pants and underwear, tossing them aside with no care for where they landed. Now like herself the Commander was laid bare for Clarke to see. She took a few moments to just take in the vision of beauty in front of her before climbing back on top of her; she ran her fingers over the lasting battle scars Lexa held, gently kissing each one as she went. As Lexa lay there between the legs of this golden-haired goddess, gently stroking her legs, she was just mesmerized by the beauty looking down at her.

"No matter what they do to you, you will always be beautiful to me." she said before leaning down to kiss Lexa on the lips.

The blonde went down again, planting a kiss on Lexa's jaw before sucking and kissing on Lexa's collarbone, making the brunette throw her head back. Clarke once again heard only a soft cry coming from the young woman, but it sounded so perfect, so beautiful. Drinking in the passionate moan from the Trikru woman she went down, kissing between her breasts before going further and kissing down on Lexa's thighs. She was purposefully avoiding Lexa's sensitive spots and she noticed Lexa was slightly annoyed by it as she moved her hips upwards, craving for more.

"Beja, Klark." she said softly.

But who was she to deny the wishes of this wonderful woman below her. Clarke knew she did not deserve the teasing she was giving her. So instead she let her hands move down to Lexa's breasts, kneading them expertly, letting her thumbs rub over the nipples until she once more heard the soft but delightful moan coming from the Commander. Satisfied by what she moved one hand further down between Lexa's legs.

As soon as her hand found its intended location Clarke could feel Lexa was more than ready for her to show how much the brunette means to her. Two fingers easily slid inside and she felt Lexa's hips move up at the contact. The blonde decided to start slowly, her free hand exploring the exposed breasts while she kept her eyes locked on Lexa. Her green eyes looked back at her and were filled with pleasure. Clarke did what Lexa did to her earlier and explored Lexa's reactions on how she moved her fingers inside of the Commander. As soon as she heard the soft moans from Lexa's lips Clarke knew what Lexa liked and Clarke decided to keep her pace slow for just a moment longer so that she could continue to enjoy the noises Lexa was making and it was increasing the heat between her own legs all over again.

But she knew she promised Lexa she'd show how much she cared for her, so she increased the pace of her fingers and leaned down to suck on one of Lexa's nipples. Where Clarke thought the soft moans Lexa had allowed to escape so far were breathtaking, the sound the brunette made as soon as Clarke increased her pace and sucked on her nipples was even better. The pure cry of pleasure was no longer held back and Clarke was turned on by how she heard her own name from Lexa's plump lips. Her eyes moved up again and Lexa was still looking at her, determined not to look away from her.

"Beja, niron."

Clarke knew Lexa was close, her body started to tense as she let her hips move back and forth with the steady rhythm Clarke was using to pump her fingers in and out of Lexa. She shifted her hand a bit, the palm now rubbing over Lexa's clit and only after a few more strokes she heard Lexa groan and cry out her name while her body trembled and shivered as she finally found her release. Clarke watched her as her green eyes rolled back and soft moans escaped her lips with every tremble her body did through the orgasm. She looked so stunning, so pure in this moment and Clarke couldn't recall ever seeing anything so beautiful before. To see her here, walls down and not a single trace of the Commander present was a gift she never thought she could have.

She was glad they were here now, thinking back to the first time they met, at how intimidating Lexa looked Clarke couldn't even have imagined she would see this side of the young woman but she was so glad that she did. Clarke slowly moved her fingers back and forth a few more times before she pulled her hand away and Lexa finally recovered from her orgasm. The brunette lay back on the furs and Clarke moved around her so that she could crawl up against Lexa's side, one arm wrapping around her waist and the other slowly sliding in between the brunette locks before she nuzzled Lexa's neck, briefly planting a soft kiss there.

"I am so glad I met you, I do not know where I would be had you and your people not come to the ground." Lexa said while she leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on the top of Clarke's head.

"I don't know, you were pretty scary the first time I met you, Lexa." Clarke responded.

She looked up at Lexa and saw the Commander raise an eyebrow at that. "Really?" she asked.

Clarke nodded in response. "Yeah, you sitting on that throne, twirling your knife around. It was pretty intimidating."

Lexa chuckled at that. "Well that was the idea but I do not think it worked very well on you. Many would cower away, but you kept challenging me, not just in my tent but afterwards too. The dropship, TonDC and even when we were running from the Pauna."

"And you let me."

Lexa nodded. "Yes, I let you and I do not regret that I did." she said, placing another kiss on the top of her head.

"I have no regrets either." she stated with a chuckle.

Clarke turned her head back and searched for Lexa's eyes, as soon as she found them she leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her lips. Her eyes closed when she did so and she found it was difficult to reopen them as soon as she pulled away from the kiss. But eventually they opened and she found Lexa smirking at her.

"You are tired Clarke, we should sleep."

Clarke hummed in agreement and watched as Lexa removed the furs from under them and used them to cover them up. Now that they were resting, no longer heated by passion she could feel the cold of the approaching winter creep over her body and was glad to feel the furs protect her from the cold. She wrapped herself tighter around Lexa's body and closed her eyes, feeling Lexa's hands wrap around her waist as well.

"Reshop, Klark." she heard Lexa whisper in her ear.

"Reshop, Leksa." Clarke said back.

She knew she was moments away from falling asleep, it was getting late and she knew she had to get up early tomorrow. But Clarke didn't mind because she knew tomorrow Lexa would finally have time to train her again which was something she was really looking forward to. With that thought on her mind Clarke fell into a comforting slumber, hoping that tonight in Lexa's safe and comfortable arms she might actually spend the night without any nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me for what happened to Raven. :(
> 
> Thanks for reading, let me know what you thought of it or share any feedback you might have. :)
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Set raun ouder, Severna, en nou mes osir op nodotaim. - Wait outside Severna and do not interrupt us again
> 
> Spechou Linkon - Congratulations Lincoln
> 
> Spichen - Damn it
> 
> Monin, Wanheda - Welcome Wanheda
> 
> Natrona - Traitor
> 
> Zog raun - Ambush
> 
> Chek ai au, Klark - Look at me Clarke
> 
> Beja, Niron - Please lover
> 
> Names:
> 
> Meys - Fort Myers, Florida
> 
> Lando - Orlando, Florida


	11. Shanen en Baman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All I will say is, fasten your seatbelts, it will get rough from here on out. Rough, dark, bloody, angsty etc.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks all for your comments and kudo's, I appreciate it a lot and it really keeps me motivated to write. At least this time it didn't take me as long to post the next chapter, hope that makes you happy. Once again, no promises for the next chapter. :)

Dawn was almost upon on TonDC, the slow growing light of the morning sun was beginning to shine through the top of the Commander’s tent. Lexa had been awake for some time already; being quiet enough not to disturb Clarke who was still fast asleep. Slow and steady breaths from the blonde, she looked beautiful and completely at peace. Lexa lay next to her on her side, her elbow digging into the furs as her head rested on her hand; she smiled as she admired the sleeping beauty before her. She couldn’t help but wonder what she had done to deserve to share a bed with her. She felt like she didn't deserve this, that she didn't deserve the passionate night they had together but yet here she was lying in bed with the woman she loved.

From the moment she first laid eyes on Clarke Lexa knew she was special. Never in her wildest dreams would she have thought that the events between her people and Skaikru would lead to a night she will never forget, a night she will forever cherish and had never experienced before in her life. Not even with Costia. She had loved Costia, there was no denying that but what she has with Clarke felt so much more powerful and thinking about it did shoot a flash of regret through her body;  deep down she wondered if she was betraying the memory of Costia and what they once had.

But she quickly pushed this thought away. Costia would have wanted Lexa to be happy, if Lexa had been the one to die she’d have wanted the same thing for her former lover. Lexa’s happiness was all that mattered to Costia, she always did her best to convince Lexa that there could be more to her than just her duty to her people and she had shown Lexa this every time they were together. But Costia was no longer with her, she was taken from her and now she had Clarke, now she loved Clarke and she would do anything in her power to protect her and to not have someone else she holds dear taken from her.

Lexa took a deep breath and shook away her conflicting thoughts, refusing to let them control her and instead focus on the beautiful woman in front of her. There was nothing more she wanted to do right now than to keep her eyes locked on Clarke and stay in bed with her for the rest of the day. But before her duties today she really wants to train Clarke and the longer they stay in bed the less time they will have to train. She reached for the blonde locks covering Clarke’s neck, gently pushing them aside as she started placing chaste kisses at the base of her neck. Almost instantly Clarke’s body began to stir and she heard the softest of moans leave her lips. Lexa immediately leaned forward, wrapping her arm around Clarke’s waist and moving her lips behind Clarke’s ear before making a path to the blonde’s cheeks.

“Hmm… I could wake up like this every morning.” she heard Clarke say.

“As could I.” The Commander stopped her trail of kisses and dug her head into the crook of Clarke’s neck. “You look so beautiful when you sleep, so peaceful.”

“I was at peace, finally… no nightmares.” Clarke said with a content sigh.

Clarke might not know it but it meant a lot to Lexa that she just admitted that sleeping in Lexa’s presence brought her enough peace to spend a night without nightmares. To know she had that effect on the blonde sparked up feelings she knew they had no time for right now.

“We have to get up, Clarke. The sun is rising and the longer we stay in bed the less time I will have to train you.” she quickly said.

Her words made Clarke turn around.

“But they lead to a different kind of training, one that I wouldn't mind at all.” Clarke leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on Lexa’s lips.

Lexa waited for Clarke to pull away before raising an eyebrow and smirking at the blonde. “Hmm… I do like what you are thinking off, Clarke.” And she did, maybe Clarke had a point, they could always train another time. But despite her current thoughts she could not stop herself from saying something stupid.

“But what of Octavia, did you not ask her to join us today?”

She regretted the words the moment she spoke them but the look on Clarke’s face already told her it was too late to take them back. “Shit, I completely forgot.” she said but made no attempt to get up at all.

Still, whatever sexual tension there had been between the two women, it was completely gone now and Lexa wanted to slap herself for it. She frowned when she saw Clarke smirking at her.

“What?” she wondered.

“You regret reminding me of this.” she stated correctly.

Lexa smiled back. “I do. But I also enjoy training you, Clarke. There is always tonight, or the nights after that. The same cannot be said of training you, I might not have as much time as I have now.” she said, then leaned forward to plant a soft kiss on Clarke’s forehead before sitting upright on the edge of the bed.

She began sorting through the clothes that were scattered around them and as she was picking out her attire she suddenly stopped as she felt a light touch on her back. She turned to see Clarke staring somewhat inquisitively at her body; she smiled and turned back to sorting through the clothes, she knew exactly what Clarke was doing.

“It’s beautiful, how come I didn’t notice this last night?”

“You were otherwise occupied, Clarke.” She said as she stood up.

“Hmm we both were.” she heard Clarke say with a giggle in her voice. “Does the tattoo hold any meaning?”

Lexa nodded as she started to get dressed. “It does, it is related to my ascension as Commander, I will tell you about it another time.”

Clarke nodded at that and then she too started to gather her clothes. Lexa decided taking a bath was pointless and they would get one after they finished training. Not a lot of time passed by before both women were dressed, had their hair done and were ready to leave.

“You should get Octavia and go to the training grounds ahead of me, I will find Kensi first, she can give you some training in knife throwing, I have noticed before you could use some.”

Lexa smirked as Clarke eyed her suspiciously. “What do you mean I could use some?” she wondered.

“During the ambush I noticed your attempt at throwing the knife at the Ice Nation soldier to help Gia.” she said, still smirking.

Clarke huffed at her. “At least I managed to distract him enough, that has to count for something.” she bit back.

“This time it did, but I prefer for you to actually have the sharp end of the knife landing in your target, Clarke. But let’s not waste anymore time, go find Octavia, I will meet you at the training grounds.”

Both women went outside, Clarke heading to the firepit where she saw Octavia sitting with her back aimed towards them. Lexa advanced int a different direction, heading to the temporary barracks that had to be built now that she no longer has Polis under her control. The small amount of villagers and warriors that were already up kindly greeted their Commander and Lexa gave them a gentle nod in return.

As she turned the corner, barracks coming into sight a slight hint of a smile formed on her face once she noticed the woman sitting outside the barracks, preparing a large pan of stew for the warriors inside.

“Heya, Rona.” she said; happily greeting the elderly Trikru woman. “Shopta?”

Rona held a smile from ear to ear upon noticing the Commander, but kept her attention aimed at the stew she was preparing, a few warriors were already patiently waiting for her to tell them it’s ready so they can eat.

“Kei, Heda, mochof. Dina?” Rona asked, pointing at the stew.

“No kom nau _,_ Rona, mochof.” her eyes went down to the bread at the table next to Rona. “Teik ai bida tous? _”_

“Yu laik Heda, yu nou badan gaf as op. Choj op” Rona said as she stretched her hand out to the bread.

As Lexa was gathering just enough bread for her and Kensi to eat, it was almost on cue when Kensi walked outside, dressed in her familiar outfit and ready for the day. She looked mildly surprised to see the Commander there but quickly shook it off and lowered her head to greet her.

“Sonop, Heda.” she then turned her head to Rona, smiling. “En Rona.”

Rona just smiled back and kept her focus on the preparation of the stew. Lexa handed Kensi some of the bread she had gathered.

“Eat, Kensi and when you are ready we leave for the training grounds. I would like for you to show and share your knife throwing skills with Wanheda.”

Kensi chuckled at this. “ They are rather lacking are they not, Heda?” she said and she no doubt had witnessed Clarke’s poor knife throwing skills during the ambush as well.

“Indeed they are.” she said back, then taking a bite of bread. “Have we heard back from Keara yet?”

She knew it was probably a bit too soon to hear anything, but she decided to ask nonetheless. As expected Kensi shook her head almost instantly.

“No, we have not. Timor is with them, he will be sending back the reports, I don’t think we will hear anything before tomorrow, Heda.”

Lexa nodded. “Timor will be well suited for the task, he has shown much in the short time I’ve known him.”

The dark haired woman hummed in agreement. With Timor no longer under her wing and her duty to spy the Lake People over, Kensi has yet to fulfil a new purpose among Trikru. Right now she is just a regular warrior, a role definitely not suited for someone with Kensi’s talents. Her punishment for failing to report has been settled, being among the other warriors will do for now but eventually Kensi will have to be given a new role.

The two women finished their breakfast in silence, Lexa watched as Rona had finished making her stew and the warriors were lining up for her to fill their plates with it. As she stood up they once again greeted their Commander, including Rona. She quickly said her goodbyes to them and then made her way to the training grounds where she knew Clarke would be waiting for her.

* * *

They both snacked on bread as they made their way to the training grounds, that way it would give them a little extra time to spar before Lexa and Kensi arrive.

Clarke ate as she listened to Octavia excitingly talk about Lincoln and how glad she was to have him back. The Blake girl wasn't alone in this, Lincoln is a good friend and she’d hate to think what other outcome his mission with Echo could have had. She was also glad Echo had returned safely and made a mental note to go and check on her after the training. And not just her, she also wanted to know how Cole was doing and Murphy too. Despite being fit to travel he said he wanted to stay at TonDC for a few more days.

Clarke reckoned those few days would probably turn out to be more than just a few and she had a feeling the novitiates were one of the reasons he was staying, though he probably would never admit it if she asked. But the other reason he was still there was just like Octavia and Clarke he had the same problem with Arkadia as they did; it didn't feel like home. She was fairly sure that more than half of those left of the original hundred that got sent down feel the same way about the Ark. To them it was a prison and being on the ground, free from the four suffocating walls around them was a blessing, still having the Ark as a home felt wrong. But _they_ were home, her friends, everyone who had been with her from the moment they set foot on the earth.

Them and Lexa.

Lexa who had somehow found a way to Clarke’s heart and Clarke had found a way to hers. Sometimes she wondered how they managed to do this while the world around them was at war. But it felt good despite all the politics and fighting that they made time for each other. Lexa kept her grounded and while Clarke refused to admit that for a long time, she was glad her heart had finally given in and stopped listening to her stubborn mind. Last night was the best night she’d ever had since landing on the ground. Lexa’s beautiful body, her beautiful eyes were still fresh in her memory and just thinking about what they did last night made Clarke feel a welcoming but wrongly timed heat between her legs.

“So what were you doing in the Commander’s tent so early in the morning?”

So very wrongly timed…

“W-What?”

Clarke was pulled from her daydream instantly and felt her cheeks heating up. It would take a miracle for Octavia not to notice.

“I knew it!” the Blake girl exclaimed but there was a hint of annoyance in her voice. “I thought I saw you entering her tent last night but I wasn’t sure. And then I saw you leaving with her this morning. You never left, did you?”

Clarke clenched her teeth together. “Could you keep it down?’ she hissed. Then the realization hit her like a strong punch to the gut, she didn’t deny Octavia’s assumptions.

“So I’m right, you spent the night with the Commander.” she concluded but at least heeding Clarke’s warning by keeping her voice down. “Clarke, what the hell are you doing?”

Octavia stopped walking and turned to face Clarke, hands impatiently resting on her hips with a look on her face that demanded an answer from the blonde. Clarke ran her hand through her blonde locks trying to search for an answer. What felt like an age for Clarke was just several seconds for Octavia, and it was several seconds too many than she was prepared to wait for an explanation.

“She is the Commander, Clarke. The Commander! The very woman who abandoned you and our friends at the Mountain for her people and who wouldn't hesitate to do so again when in a similar situation.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Clarke bit back in frustration.

“I don’t know, do you?” she asked. Her voice was a mixture of anger and confusion.

It was a question that had been going through her head ever since the moment she saw Lexa again in that cave. More than once. But her pull towards the Commander was too strong and she had tried to fight it but failed, she couldn't fight it anymore and taking this risk with Lexa is worth it.

“I do know.” she said, and with pleading eyes she continued. “I’ve fought these feelings for so long, Octavia. I’ve tried to hate her, hell sometimes I even thought about killing her. But I can’t… I can’t… ”

The last few words were barely a whisper, but Octavia heard them because Clarke could see her eyes soften a bit.

“I Just… whenever I am with her, she just… it’s indescribable, it’s so much, so strong. I never felt anything like that with Finn… ”

Octavia snuck the palm of her hand behind her neck. She closed her eyes for a few seconds and once they opened it was clear that her anger had subsided.

“I know the feeling, Clarke. With Lincoln… I feel the same. And boy was I scared for what I felt, for what Bellamy would do if he found out, but I couldn't fight it either.”

Clarke nodded and a short but deafening silence followed. Both of them not knowing what to say. But eventually Octavia spoke up again.

“Of all the Grounders to fall in love with, of course you’d have to pick the Commander… ”

Both women let out a light chuckle at Octavia’s words.

“I know, sometimes I’m wondering what I got myself into. I’ve already received death glares from Anya.” Clarke decided not to mention the incident with Lynn.

“Anya knows?”

“Yes, I’m not surprised really. Lexa and Anya are really close. Lexa was Anya’s second so she must have practically raised Lexa for half of her life.” Clarke answered. “Come on, let’s keep going, we’re almost there.”

Octavia nodded and the two women kept walking as they continued their conversation. Strangely she was glad Octavia knows about her and Lexa now. At least she finally has someone to talk to now if something was on her mind. It being Octavia was a big advantage, while the Blake girl had been reluctant about it at first she at least seemed to have accepted it, not that Clarke needed her approval. But it was good to know she understands at least, something her mother or Raven probably wouldn't, especially her mother. But the same thing applied to them, she didn't need their approval.

“Is she even allowed to have a lover?” Octavia asked.

“She said she is the Commander and her people have no say in her personal life. Besides, she had someone before me.”

“She did?”

Clarke nodded. “Yes, Costia was her name, but the Ice Queen killed her.” she saw Octavia’s eyes widen with concern and immediately decided not to tell the rest of the story.

“Clarke-”

“Yes Octavia, I know. But I refuse to let that woman interfere with my feelings. I already am a target for being Wanheda. Besides, I have been fighting for my life, as have you, since the day we landed on the ground. This will be no different.”

Octavia nodded. “And soon you will be able to properly hold a sword and defend yourself.” she joked.

“Hey, I’ll have you know I already know how to hold a sword, I managed to hit Anya once.” Clarke saw Octavia raise her eyebrow at her and the blonde submitted. “Well almost once.” she muttered but a smile formed on her face.

“I am glad Indra is back, though.” Octavia said. “And I never thought I’d say that. I thought Indra was ruthless but Anya raises it to a whole new level.”

Clarke chuckled at Octavia’s words. “I think I still have bruises on my back from the first time she trained me.” she said, stretching her back muscles at the thought of that day.

Octavia nodded. “I think I have-ah!”

It was as though time slowed down as Clarke registered what just happened; her calm, peaceful expression morphed into shock and fear as her eyes fixated on the arrow that had just pierced Octavia’s shoulder. The brunette stumbled back a few paces as she tried to steady herself from the surprise attack; her hand reaching to where the arrow struck her.

“Octavia!”

Once Clarke came to realize the severity of the situation her natural instincts kicked in, the healer in her immediately wanting to tend to her injured friend. However before she could, a loud voice echoed through the trees.

“Wanheda, ron we, ron we! Zog raun!”

She heard the words loud and clear, recognizing the voice of Severna. She looked around to see several figures quickly approaching through the trees, unsure how many exactly, she just knew they were hostile and she had to get herself and Octavia out of there.

“Run, run!” she yelled at Octavia, knowing the young woman would follow her, not letting an arrow in the shoulder hold her back.

They ran for their lives and for the first time Clarke was grateful to Anya for the many times the older woman had her run through the tricky terrain of the forest. Unlike the first time she was chased down by the Ice Nation she now actually noticed where she placed her feet, tactfully ignoring the roots of the trees and avoiding branches from hitting her in the face. From the corner of her eye she saw Octavia doing the same, the arrow in her shoulder making it slightly more difficult. As she continued to flee she could hear arrows striking the trees behind her; then a moment later arrows struck the trees ahead of her.

“Shit.” she muttered and took a sharp turn to the left in the hopes to throw off the aim of the archers that were following them.

Octavia did the same and managed to keep up with Clarke. Both women kept running and running but Clarke soon noticed Octavia was starting to have trouble keeping up with her. Clarke knew that something was wrong. The arrow in her shoulder was obviously painful but it wasn’t enough to tire Octavia in the short amount of time they had been running. She glanced over her shoulder to see Octavia sweating profusely, her face was extremely flushed . Clarke knew right at that moment; the arrow in her shoulder was poisoned. She forced herself to a halt and wrapped her hands around Octavia’s forearms.

“Octavia, the arrow is-”

“I know, I know. Keep running, Clarke.” she said, grinding her teeth together to fight against the pain.

She did as Octavia said but knew their attackers were getting closer and the Blake girl couldn't keep this up for much longer. They had to find a place to hide, find a way to get their attackers off their trail. But all Clarke could think off now was keep on running. But she had no idea where they were running too. The way back to TonDC had been blocked by their attacker’s and the Ark or the dropship were simply too far away to run to, especially with Octavia beginning to suffer the effects of the poisoned arrow.

But then she got an idea, her mind thinking back of the day she had to run from the acid fog and found a buried shelter on the ground. “Keep fighting Octavia, I have a plan.” she shouted , knowing the shelter was not far away. This was one of the few moments where she was grateful for the months she had spent alone in the woods and gotten familiar with Trikru territory. It was more than likely that their attackers would be able to track them to the bunker, fortunately it was lockable from the inside, that would keep them at bay for some time. At least then she’d have a chance to look at Octavia’s shoulder, she hoped the poison wasn’t deadly. She knew that  when Lexa realizes that Clarke and Octavia aren’t at the training grounds she will start a search and whoever is chasing them will have no choice but to retreat.

The bunker should have enough air for at least one or two days and that should be more than enough for them to be found by Lexa and her people. She looked over her shoulder and saw Octavia was falling behind, her condition started to worsen quicker than Clarke expected.

“Come on Octavia, keep at it, we’re almost there.” she said just before another arrow missed her by a few inches.

Clarke looked ahead; quite startled from the arrow but started to recognize the treeline ahead of her. She was right, they were close, the bunker was just on the other side of the treeline. She increased her pace and after barely avoiding a few more arrows the metal entrance of the bunker came into sight. She made it, they made it. The blonde quickly knelt down to open the hatch.

“Ah!”

Octavia’s cry of pain made Clarke turn on her heels only to see the younger woman drop down to her knees. She had taken another hit, this time in her thigh. Clarke hurried over to the Blake girl and wrapped her arms around her waist to help her back up.

“Come on, we’re here, let’s get inside before-”

She saw Octavia’s eyes widen. “Clarke look out!”

The blonde turned to face whatever danger Octavia tried to warn her about but before she knew it she took a hard blow to the side of her head. Her ears rang like a struck cymbal, a sharp pain surged through her head as she fell to the floor.

“No!” She could just about make out Octavia’s familiar voice through the exploding pain running through her head, her yell was followed by what sounded like a pretty severe groan of pain.

Clarke knew she had to get up, she couldn’t give in now or Octavia was sure to die. She had the presence of mind to assume their attackers were Ice Nation and had orders to take her alive, but not Octavia, she was expendable.

She didn't want another death on her conscience. Clarke didn't want to lose another person she cared about. She dug her fingers into the dirt to try and push herself up but then a knee was forcefully pressed into her back, pinning her back down.

“No no. You’re not going anywhere, Clarke.” Even in her daze she recognized the voice. “You’re coming home with me for a nice little chat.”

She felt something sharp piercing the skin at the back of her neck and within seconds the world around her began to spin. Any bit of strength left in her body faded. She tried to lift her head but whatever had been injected into her body was taking effect fast. She lowered her head, tears streaming from her eyes knowing the most likely fate of Octavia, she blinked a few times as she gazed at the open hatch of the bunker before her tear stained eyes closed and she was  dragged into the darkness.

* * *

“Can I ask you something, Heda?”

Lexa and Kensi were on their way to the training grounds. Their walk there had been silent so far but Kensi was the one to break the silence. With a nod Lexa motioned her to ask her question.

“Why did you ask me to come to the training grounds. Your knife throwing skills are on par with mine, you could teach her yourself.”

Originally Lexa wanted to talk with Kensi about her new role within the clan but now felt it was neither the time nor the place to do so; it deserved to be done in a more official manner.  Instead she would answer the young woman with an alternative yet truthful reason for her presence.

“I would like to spend some time training Octavia, to test her skills. And as Clarke lately had been suffering Anya’s training I thought it would be a nice change for her to get knife throwing lessons from you, I have noticed how the two of you have became friends.”

Kensi smiled at Lexa’s words. “Yes, I do believe I have grown to like the Prisa. She is becoming a good friend.” she said. “And becoming wiser by the day, it is she who should lead her people, not her mother.”

That made Lexa chuckle. “Yes she should and she will, one day. For the time being she will simply play her role as Wanheda.”

As they both continued towards their destination Lexa noticed Kensi looking a little tense, she was gripping the knife in her belt rather tightly as though she was expecting trouble. Lexa simply smiled, knowing exactly what was on her mind.

“Relax Kensi, they are mine”

“Sha Heda, your guards are usually closer by.” she said with a slight sense of relief.

“You were away for quite some time, I’ve decided that adopting alternate strategies serves best in the woods” she explained.

In Polis the Commander would never leave the tower without two guards flanking her and Gustus by her side, the woods were different. She preferred to have scouts watch over from the shadows and up high; she had ordered the same for Clarke and Octavia too, Severna and Jaret were watching over them.

“I heard Aden can start his training today.” Kensi said, pulling her thoughts away from the scouts in the woods.

“I have heard as much too.” Lexa said, spotting the slight concern in Kensi’s eyes. “He will be in good hands, Kensi. I had my doubts about him but they were misplaced, Anya will shape him into a fine warrior.”

“Thank you Heda, I care greatly for him. He is like a little brother to me, I feel the constant need to watch over him and protect him.”

Lexa chuckled at that. “When his training is finished, he will feel he no longer needs it.”

“He will, but I will continue to do so until my dying breath. He and Tys are all the family I have left, I will do anything in my power to protect them, Heda.”

Lexa nods. “I understand. I would not know what to do without Anya.” Or Clarke, she thought but kept that part to herself. Though she wondered if maybe Kensi had figured out already what the two of them had together. If she had, she clearly respected her Commander’s privacy and didn’t mention it. Sometimes Lexa wished that Anya was like that, to just ignore it and not give her constant lectures that  she is Heda and starting a relationship with Clarke puts her people and the coalition at risk. But if Anya wasn’t there to do all that, who would? Gustus was no longer with her, Tys was too soft for talks like that and held too much respect for her to challenge her like this. Anya was the only one she had left to do this. Deep down Lexa would probably hate Anya if she softened her personality, she would no longer be the woman that practically raised her.

“Though sometimes she tests my patience.” Lexa said smirking.

“She would not be Anya if she didn’t.” Kensi said and Lexa agreed.

“She would not be, no. I was already worried the other day when she went soft on Octavia just to let the Skygirl vent her anger.”

“If we are not careful, Octavia and the Prisa will make her soft.” Kensi joked and received an agreeing chuckle from Lexa.

“I have said as much to Clarke. But judging from the extensive training both of them had to endure I do not think we need to worry.”

“Probably not, Heda.”

The two women gave each other a smile and continued on their journey in silence. But as Lexa was about to disturb this silence she paused, her eyes were drawn to  the muddy path in front of her.

“Heda?” Kensi asked.

But soon she followed Lexa’s gaze and noticed the same disturbance in the mud. Neither women had time to speak up though when a voice in the distance interrupted them.

“Heda! Miya snap!”

They both recognized it to be Senho, however the urgency and alarm in his voice was evident; they both hurried towards where the voice came from.

Kensi followed her closely as both women hurried between the trees until they caught sight of Senho and Vorgal leaning over a body. A body she recognized as soon as she reached Senho’s side.

“Severna… ” she said softly. Lexa knelt down and planted her hand on the young woman’s shoulder, regret clearly visible in her eyes. She knew instantly from the injuries her death was not a quick one. A strategic hit, placed in a way to immobilize her and cause her to bleed out slowly and painfully. It didn’t escape the Commander to notice that the dagger that caused the fatal wound held the Ice Nation symbol. Severna did not deserve this but she had to push the loss of one of her people aside as a greater fear started to take over.

_Clarke…_

“Severna was with Jaret, watching over Wanheda. Senho, get reinforcements from TonDC and find out what happened to him, Vorgal, come with us, we found tracks on the path to the training grounds.”

Both men acknowledged their respective orders but Lexa was the first to turn heel and quickly head back to the tracks in the mud, Kensi followed right behind her. They both examined the tracks; Lexa came to the conclusion that the hostiles headed west after killing Severna, chasing after the two Sky Girls. There were so many sets of footprints it was impossible to accurately say how many, she didn’t show it but it scared Lexa. There was absolutely no chance Clarke and Octavia could fight off this many.

“This way, quickly” she said, doing her best not to dwell on the terrible thoughts swirling in her mind. She had to find Clarke, it was all that mattered, it was all she could think off but she knew she could not show her emotions. She couldn't let her people think she was weak.

She ran as fast as she could, following the trail of muddy footsteps and arrows embedded in the trees and ground, there was so many. Kensi followed close behind while Vorgal gradually fell back, he couldn’t keep up with their pace. As Lexa ran following the trail, she began to notice more and more blood, some on the trees some on the ground. She kept telling herself it couldn’t be from Clarke, not again, she could not lose another to the Ice Nation.  Clarke is smart, resourceful, she would have found a way to escape. They both would have.

“Heda, this way!” Kensi exclaimed taking a sudden, sharp turn left.

Despite the chaos going on in her mind Lexa managed to notice Kensi splitting off their current path and turned back to follow her. The smears of blood on the trees were getting more severe with every one they passed. Her legs felt as if they were getting heavier with every step she took, her breathing was heavy and fast, she could feel her heart beating like a war drum. Images of Costia’s head by her bed flashed through her mind.

Only this time it was not Costia’s head, it was Clarke’s. But there was no life left in her beautiful blue eyes, and her blonde hair was torn and tattered with blood.

She was lost in her thoughts, unable to shake them off yet her legs kept carrying her, kept running and automatically following Kensi. She was no longer looking at the trail they were following, no longer looking at the arrows and blood on the trees. She was just unconsciously following Kensi and doing her best to fight the tears that were desperate to stream down her cheeks, afraid of what they might find. Kensi noticed the visibly distressed state of her Commander, something she had never witnessed before; she dropped back to support her and continued on through the battle scarred trees.

It was a good thing Vorgal was several paces behind them, struggling to keep up.

“Octavia!”

Kensi ran ahead as Lexa called out to the Blake girl. Images of Clarke’s severed head flashing through her mind once again as she saw Octavia sitting up against a tree; her clothes were smeared with blood, a couple of arrows sticking out of her shoulder and leg and a nasty looking wound on the side of her head.  But most importantly, her eyes were open, just barely.

“Heda… ” her hoarse voice was just barely audible.

When Vorgal finally caught up Lexa ordered him to stand guard and keep an eye on their surroundings, Lexa and Kensi knelt down next to Octavia. The Commander placed a comforting hand on Octavia’s uninjured shoulder while Kensi started to inspect her injuries.

“Octavia, what happened? Where is Clarke?”

The young Sky Girl licked her dried lips and swallowed, trying to talk but as she opened her mouth the words barely came out. Lexa immediately reached for her water pouch and helped Octavia take a few sips. She nodded gratefully and licked her lips once more, this time she managed to speak up.

“Emerson… he took C-Clarke… ”

Those four words made her feel like her entire world had just collapsed. She wanted to cry and scream yet somehow she managed to keep her emotions at bay, only closing her eyes for a few seconds and taking a deep breath. The Commander knew that panicking was not going to help her find Clarke, she had to stay calm. Severna was killed by the Ice Nation,the two Sky Girls must have been chased down by the Ice Nation and yet it was Emerson, who she was not even aware off to be alive, that had taken Clarke. Clearly he had fled the Mountain and found his way to Nia, making some sort of deal.

“Did you see where he went?” Lexa asked.

“I-I got knocked out, b-but I heard him say so-something like ‘you’re coming home with me’ to Clarke, th-that is all I rem-remember.”

“Who is this Emerson, Heda?” Kensi asked as she continued her inspection of Octavia’s injuries.

“He is from the mountain.” she answered.

“How? I thought they were all killed, that they could not breathe our air… ” Kensi said worried.

“They extracted something from the Skaikru bodies, something other than blood, it made it possible for them to breathe our air. How he is alive is not important, we need to find him.”

Kensi nodded. “We need to get Octavia back to TonDC first, the arrows are poisoned, I cannot tell with what, Nyko needs to check up on her.” she said.

Lexa looked at the young woman and saw she had lost consciousness. Without a second thought Lexa hoisted Octavia in her arms and they hurried back to TonDC. Halfway they were met by Anya and Indra accompanied by a dozen warriors. Indra’s usual stoic posture instantly faded as her worried eyes immediately went to Octavia.

“Heda, is she-”

“Not yet, Indra, but we need to hurry.”

Indra immediately ordered two warriors to take Octavia from Lexa and moments later both men hurried back to TonDC. Lexa’s gaze went to Anya when the older woman spoke up.

“Heda, there is another problem. A scouting party just returned with news of the latest Skaikru supply run, it has been ambushed.”

Lexa shook her head in disbelief, this could not be a coincidence, it must have had something to do with Clarke’s capture.

“Are there any survivors?” she asked.

“None according to the scouts, but Reivon kom skaikru is missing.”

“Clarke taken, Raven missing. This is no coincidence.” the Commander said worryingly.

“Octavia said she heard Emerson say he was going to take her home, would he have taken her back with him to the Mountain?” Kensi wondered.

“It is possible, but not likely. We have people watching all known entrances of the Mountain. But Emerson lived there his entire life, it could be that he knows of an entrance that we do not.”

Lexa knew, it was less than likely that Emerson would go back there, but she could not rule it out. There were countless possibilities and she refused to leave any of them unchecked.

“Indra, take a small group of warriors with you, Vorgal will show you where we found Octavia, see if you can track down where they went, but it is likely they covered their tracks. If you find none, go to the Mountain, make sure no one got in.”

“Sha Heda.” the older woman said and turned to the group of warriors that remained, pointing at four of them. “Mafta ai op.”

“Anya, Kensi, come with me, we will go to the ambush site.”

There was no room for debate, if either woman wanted to. Lexa was already sprinting back to TonDC. Once there she made her way to the stables and while she was preparing Rasha’s saddle her shoulders slumped slightly at the sound of Lynn’s voice.

“Heda, chit don kom au?”

“Lynn, find Tys, tell him he is charge until I return. Wanheda was taken and the supply run was ambushed, Reivon kom Skaikru is missing, we are going to investigate.”

Lynn would often challenge Lexa and her decisions but the Commander was grateful that the elder realized now was not the time to do so and was relieved to hear her accept the order as she mounted Rasha. The horse was motioned to the waiting scouting party that had located the ambush site, about two dozen warriors were waiting with them. Lexa quickly glanced over her shoulder, spotting Kensi and Anya right on her tail.

“Go, show us what you found.” she ordered the scouts.

In mere moments they had left TonDC behind them and started their journey through the woods. While their horses ran through the woods at high pace, Lexa allowed her thoughts to drift back to Clarke. How could she not have known that Emerson had escaped, how could she have just assumed he died with the rest of his people. Lexa knew he could breathe their air now, he was not in one of their special suits when he offered her the deal, she should have known. Now she could kick herself for being so stupid. She made a mistake and now Clarke’s life was at risk.

“Ste yuj, Leksa. Osir na hon em op.”

Anya’s comforting words were spoken just about loud enough for her to hear, making sure the warriors riding ahead of her would not hear it. Kensi did however, but once again respected her Commander’s privacy and Lexa appreciated that more than Kensi probably thought.

Their journey continued for over an hour, Lexa had spent pretty much every second of it thinking about Clarke. Thinking what she could have done to prevent her kidnapping, thinking what Emerson would be doing to her and every thought ended with Lexa finding her lifeless body. She was torturing herself, putting the blame on herself for Clarke’s capture, but somewhere in the back of her mind she had to keep faith, he had taken her alive, which meant he needed her for something. Whatever it was, Lexa hoped she would find Clarke before Emerson no longer needed her.

“It is not far now, Heda.” One of the scouts yelled at her and increased the speed of his horse.

They all followed his lead as they directed their horses through the branches and trees until finally Lexa saw the carts. They slowed as they approached them, they were surrounded by the corpses of the fallen warriors who were charged to protect them. She felt a pang in her heart at the sight of her fallen warriors, but her eyes quickly switched to some movement she noticed by one of the carts several feet away., Someone had survived the ambush and were struggling to get to their feet. Her eyes widened; the scouts had been wrong in their assessment, and she recognized the person immediately.

“Nyc!” she yelled.

She immediately halted Rasha and jumped off her horse, hurrying to the diplomat. He looked up in relief, stretching out one of his hands and Lexa grabbed hold of it, helping the short but bulky man to his feet. Immediately she noticed a large blood stain across his stomach and proceeded to push his coat up to inspect his injury.  He had a fair sized stab wound in the lower left area of his stomach.

“Lagen, ste kefa, Nyc.” She said as Nyc tried to brush past her, ready to order a warrior off his horse and take it to whichever destination he had in mind.

“Beja, Heda. Em don hon Reivon daun, em frag op oso kru.”

“Ai get em in, Nyc. Tel ai op hashta dison”

Nyc looked about ready to object, but a stern glance from his Commander made him swallow deeply and he decided to not go against his her orders.

“They came out of nowhere, no one saw them coming, the ambush was very well coordinated. Ontari kom Azgeda lead it, they killed everyone and took Raven.”

Lexa saw his eyes switch to Kensi, who was walking towards him, holding a small rag and bandages in her hands. Lexa forced him to sit down and stepped aside so that Kensi could take care of the stab wound.

“You are lucky, Nyc, if the blade would have gone further by only a few inches, one of your organs would have been punctured.” Kensi stated.

Lexa glanced at him, the look he held in his eyes said enough and she recognized it instantly. She must have held the same look in hers once realizing Clarke had been taken. He cared a great deal for Raven, it was not something she had noticed before, nor was it something to dwell on now.

Lexa turned to the scout that had lead them here. “Ariz, take five warriors to check the supplies and ready the carts, there is no reason why these supplies should not still be delivered to Arkadia, they need it.” she said.

“Sha, heda.” Ariz said, as commanded he gathered five warriors and set about getting the carts ready to travel.

“The rest will come with me to Arkadia, we have to inform them of what happened and some of the Skaikru can join the search, they might know something that we do not.”

“Heda, I would like to take one warrior with me, look for tracks, see if I can find where they are. I do not believe they were taken to the Mountain.” Kensi suddenly said.

Lexa nodded. “Nor do I.” she already knew what Emerson wanted to do with Clarke, though why Raven was taken too, she wasn’t really sure about yet. “Wanheda has taken everything from Emerson, his home, his people, his family. He will want revenge, taking Raven might be the first step in this, taking them to the Mountain is not. He is working with Azgeda, there is a possibility they plan on attacking the Ark.”

“I thought as much too, Heda.” Nyc said, nodding at Kensi when she finished cleaning and bandaging his wound. “Let me go with you.”

“No.” Lexa said sternly. “You are injured, you can assist in readying the supplies and taking them to Arkadia, once there, Abi kom Skaikru can look at your injuries.”

Nyc gathered as much courage as he could and straightened himself, Lexa could already see he was preparing to disagree, which worried her. In all the time he had been a diplomat for Trikru he rarely disagreed or went against her orders.

“Beja Heda, I need to find Raven… ”

She sighed, somewhat understanding his insistence. And deep down she could not deny him this, she wants to find Clarke as much as he wants to find Raven. If she were in his shoes she would do the same thing. She sighed, giving in to his pleas.

“Very well, but if you slow us down I will send you away, understood?”

“Sha, Heda, mochof.”

* * *

Abby was in a meeting with Marcus, discussing what could possibly delaying the latest shipment when there was a knock on the door.

“Chancellor, sorry to interrupt.” the voice of David Miller sounded from the other side of the door. “But… ” he took a short pause. “The Commander, she’s here.”

Abby looked at Marcus, he gave her a concerning look. Whatever the reason was behind the Commander being here at Arkadia, it was very unlikely to be good news and both of them figured it had to do with the delayed shipment.

“Escort her to the Council room, we will be there shortly.” Abby answered and then turned to Marcus. “Marcus, you think this has to do with the delayed shipment?”

He nodded. “I’m afraid so, if the Commander is here, it can’t be good.” he stated.

“Let’s find out.” Abby said.

They both made their way to the Council chambers, arriving almost at the same time as the Commander and worry took over when she spotted Nyc, who she knew should have been with the supply run, slightly struggling to keep up with his Commander, her worry grew when she spotted a gash above his eyebrow.

“What happened?” she asked while walking inside, Lexa and Nyc and a female grounder warrior followed her closely.

She saw how the Commander waited for Marcus and David Miller to walk inside and the door to close before speaking up.

“I am afraid I bring grave news, Chancellor.” Lexa said.

“The shipment?” Marcus asked.

The Commander dipped her chin down in confirmation. “It was ambushed, my warriors, except for Nyc were murdered, Raven was taken by the Ice Nation.” she said. Abby could hear a hint of regret in her voice.

“Oh my God.”

Abby couldn't hold back the shock in her voice, but when she looked at Lexa it was as if that wasn’t even the worst of the news she had come to give her.

“Unfortunately, there is more, Chancellor.” she said and all Abby could do was look at the Commander, waiting for her to explain.

But as her lips parted, nothing was spoken. Abby could tell she was struggling to get her words out, she saw how Lexa swallowed away a lump in her throat before she managed to speak up.

“Somehow Carl Emerson is still alive. He had made some sort of deal with the Ice Nation and taken Clarke while she was on her way to our training grounds together with Octavia.”

The world stood still around Abby as she absorbed Lexa’s words. “No… ” she said softly and felt Marcus’ hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently. It was about enough for her to not collapse, to not scold the Commander for failing to protect her daughter, for failing to protect the only family she had left. If Clarke were to be taken from her as well… she just found her again, this could not be happening.

But yelling at the Commander would not help Clarke, if anything she knew Clarke would want her to cooperate with the grounders to find her. Abby was more than willing to do that but yet she could not stop herself from saying the next few words.

“Did you not have someone watch her? How could she be taken?”

It looked as if Lexa had already seen these questions coming. Right now Abby hated the young leader for reading her so easily and remaining so calm under these horrible circumstances.

“I did, some of my best scouts, they paid with their life protecting Clarke.”

Abby tried her best to hide the anger that was growing towards the Commander, ready to blame her for Clarke’s kidnapping, but there was yet another squeeze in her shoulder to remind her this was not helping Clarke. Abby knew this and was scolding herself for letting her emotions get the best of her. When she looked up at the Commander again she saw the short hint of pain and regret in her eyes once more. Abby frowned, was this for the loss of her people, or was this for knowing Clarke had been taken, for failing to protect her, Abby wasn't sure and it confused her.

“How is Octavia, is she still alive?” Marcus asked bringing Abby’s thoughts back to reality.

The tall serious looking warrior who stood next to the Commander, Abby remembered was called Anya, answered the question for him. “She was when we found her, but badly injured and poisoned, Nyko is doing what he can to counter the poison in her system, Octavia is in good hands.” Anya said, her stoic face aimed at Marcus.

“We have people searching for Clarke and Raven as we speak, we will start a search of our own, perhaps some of your people would like to join us.”

“I'm joining.” Abby immediately said, she was determined to not let the Commander talk her out of it.

“That would be unwise, Chancellor. Whatever it is the Ice Nation and Emerson have planned, we believe they may try to attack Arkadia. I would advise you and Marcus Kane to stay here, with your people, in case of an attack. I have also ordered a new group of warriors to bring the last shipment of supplies to you, the Ice Nation left most of it untouched, which clearly showed they only attacked to take Raven, once my warriors arrive they will help you defend Arkadia.”

Abby wasn't even given time to object, but it wasn’t the Commander who refused to hear her out.

“She is right, Abby.” Marcus said. “Our people need us here, they need their Chancellor here. Monty, Monroe and Miller can join the search.”

She wanted to object but deep down she knew he was right. But as Chancellor she had to stay reasonable, no matter how much she wanted to help find her daughter. She could not bare the thought of the Commander returning and telling her Clarke is dead, Abby knew she would never recover from that.

“Ok, but you better bring my daughter and Raven back alive, Commander.” she said.

“I will do everything in my power to do so, Chancellor.” Lexa said back with a nod.

“Sergeant, would you please find your son, Monty and Monroe and bring them here?”

“Yes Ma'am.”

She heard the door open and close behind her while she kept her gaze aimed at Lexa. “Do you know where he might have taken them, Commander?”

“There is a slight possibility he took her to the Mountain, but it is well guarded by my warriors, still, Indra is looking into it, should they be there Indra will let us know immediately.”

“I agree, Commander, it doesn’t seem very likely to have her taken to the Mountain.” Marcus said.

Abby saw Lexa take a deep breath and close her eyes for a few moments before they were locked with hers.

“I do have a theory, Chancellor, but you will not like it.”

Abby nodded, motioning for the Commander to explain and holding her breath in the process, bracing for whatever she was going to tell.

“If the Ice Nation do intend to attack, Emerson will want Clarke to witness the death of her people, just as he had to watch his people die, because of her. I believe her and Raven to be in close proximity of Arkadia, somewhere high where they can look down at your settlement, but hidden enough to not be found.”

“If you believe so strongly that they will attack Arkadia, why not sent more soldiers to help defend us.” Abby said, her tone slightly bitter.

“As I told you as much back in TonDC, Abi kom Skaikru, you are not part of what is left of the Kongeda. My people always come first, if I send my army to protect Arkadia I will leave TonDC defenseless, if Azgeda is counting on that, they will be ready to attack my people. With that said, it does not mean I am not willing to help you, I would not expect Azgeda to attack you in full force, an army that big will not have gone unnoticed by my scouts.”

“But if you don’t expect such a big group to attack us, how do you expect them to get through our gate, if they climb it they will get electrocuted.” Marcus said.

And suddenly it all made sense to Abby.

“That’s likely why they took Raven, they need her to tell them how to power down the gate.”

She covered her mouth in shock, realizing they would likely have to  torture Raven to get the information out of her, knowing she would never give it away freely. From the corner of her eyes she saw Nyc shift on his feet, looking slightly on edge at her realization.

“Reivon kom Skaikru is strong willed, she will not give away the information, Chancellor, I am sure of it.”

Abby saw how Lexa looked at Nyc to assure him as she did so for Abby. She had no idea how a woman as young as Lexa was already so experienced in politics and strategy as well as reading people. Suddenly the door behind her opened again and three people Marcus  suggested to help with the search walked by, but they were followed by a fourth, nostrils flaring and striding towards the Commander.

“My sister is hurt and you let it happen.” Bellamy said incensed as he pointed an accusing finger at the Commander. “I knew you couldn't be trusted.”

“Bellamy!” Abby warned, remembering how she had been expressing her anger towards the Commander at TonDC and being scolded for it. But when looking at her, she saw no hint of anger  just a raised eyebrow from the Commander. Her hand reaching out to Anya who was about ready to reach for her sword to protect her Commander, but stopped with a simple touch on her wrist.

“It is alright, Chancellor, let him speak.” she said calmly.

Where earlier she had seen worry and regret in the Commander’s eyes at the mention of Clarke’s kidnapping, there was no hint of it now, only a stoic, stern face that was locked on Bellamy. But the older Blake sibling showed no sign of backing down from his angry tirade.

“Clarke trusted you, and you let her be kidnapped. And now Raven is gone too, you don’t care one bit for us, hell I wouldn't be surprised if you were actually the one who kidnapped them and sided with the Ice Nation.”

Bellamy’s disrespect towards the Commander incensed Anya. “Jok yu, skat.” she said. Abby didn't speak Trigedasleng but she had a pretty good idea Anya’s words were insulting.

Lexa walked around the table, Abby could clearly see the anger growing on Lexa’s face, her eyes narrow and dark, right now even she felt a little nervous for Bellamy as the Commander approached him. He too was showing some apprehension on his face, taking a step back but refusing to back down. They were now face to face, inches apart, Lexa looked up with a mixture of anger and disgust at his disrespect.

Abby dared not interrupt, no one did, but she knew whatever the Commander was about to do, she wouldn't harm Bellamy.

“Twenty three warriors, Belomi kom Skaikru. I lost twenty three warriors in the event of Klark and Reivon’s capture. I know them all by name, I know of their families, of their husbands and wives, of their children and parents. I sent them, to protect Raven and your supplies, to protect Clarke and now I have to tell the people that cared about them that their fight is over, because that is what a good leader does, Bellamy, a good leader looks after their people, no matter the circumstances. Raven and Clarke are not of my people and yet I stand here, willing to offer you help to defend your base while in return I ask a few of your people to help _us_ in the search of _your_ people. In what way would that incline that I have sided with the Ice Nation to hurt your people?”

She gave him no time to answer her.

“Speak that way to me again, especially in front of my people and I will personally cut out your tongue, is that understood, Belomi kom Skaikru?”

“I do not answer to-”

He did not get to finish his sentence before Lexa balled her fist and slammed it in his stomach. “You must not have heard my words, for a moment there it sounded like you were not heeding my warning, I would hate to have to cut out your tongue, Bellamy.”

Abby was shocked by the display of power from the Commander, she felt sorry for Bellamy yet did nothing to stop the Commander. And in fairness, he did deserve the treatment she was giving him for his stupidity and disrespect. She would however, not allow the Commander to cut his tongue, but surely Bellamy wasn’t stupid enough to let it get that far.

She looked at him as he coughed a few times to recover from the Commander’s punch. “Understood, Commander.” he said, speaking her title in a slightly snide fashion and yet decided to test the Commander’s patience once more. “But I am coming with you on the search for Clarke and Raven.”

If the Commander was about to deny him this, she had no time to object. Kane spoke up first.

“No you won’t. The last thing I want is for you to return to us with your tongue cut out, you’re staying here, do I make myself clear, Bellamy?”

Kane’s voice was not nearly as assertive as the Commander’s had been, but yet he heeded his warning immediately and nodded once, though his eyes were still locked with that of the Commander, who spoke up immediately.

“We will not waste anymore time in our search for Clarke and Raven. Monroe, Miller and Monty, prepare your horses and meet me at the gate.”

Horses that had been given to them by the Commander with the first shipment that had arrived, Abby knew. The three kids didn't dare to let the Commander wait and walked after her instantly. As soon as they left Marcus immediately slapped Bellamy at the back of his head.

“What is wrong with you, Bellamy, hmm? Do you realize how close you were to losing your tongue? There would have been nothing we could have done without risking our Alliance, or even worse, their help in defending Arkadia and finding Clarke and Raven.”

Bellamy turned to Marcus, “My sister might die, because she is out there, with the Grounders, instead of being here, where she belongs.”

Abby then said something she thought she’d never admit. “Bellamy, you and I both know she does not belong here, the laws we had enforced on the Ark have made Octavia’s life a living hell, and I regret that we did that to her. You cannot protect her, she feels at home there and you know that too.”

She saw tears escaping his eyes. “She almost died, Chancellor, and I wasn’t there to protect her.” he said, finally giving in on his emotions.

Marcus stepped forward and placed his hands on his shoulders, pulling him closer and forcing him to look him in the eyes. “Listen to me, Bellamy, Clarke was there to look after her, and though she paid for it with her freedom, she made sure the Commander and her people found Octavia in time.”

“You don’t know that, she might still die, I should go to TonDC, I should protect her.”

Abby stepped forward; placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“She could not be in better hands than she is now in Nyko’s, he is more experienced in the poisons they use than we are, Octavia is strong, you know she is, she will get through this.”

The Blake sibling swallowed deeply but then nodded his head. “Okay, okay, you’re right. I am sorry that I put everything at risk, I was angry, I wasn't thinking.”

It was a careful apology and Abby wasn’t sure if he really meant it, but for now it was enough. “Why don’t you and Kane gather the guard, see to it that we increase our defenses. If the Commander is right and an attack is coming and we need to be ready.”

* * *

Clarke was unsure for how long she had been awake. For the first few moments she’d been unable to open her eyes, she felt the world spinning around her and she had a terrible headache. But once she managed to open her eyes she found out that there wasn’t much difference to having her eyes closed. She was blindfolded and a hood was covering her head. Her hands were bound behind her back but somehow she managed to push herself up in a sitting position, back now resting against a cold rocky wall.

From the sounds around her she could make out she was in some sort of cave. But that was about all she managed to figure out. She heard no other sounds or any indication that there was someone here with her in the cave. Every now and then she heard distant voices, but they were not clear enough to hear what was being said. Clarke decided to assess what she did know. She knew who her captor was, she didn't know how he was still alive but she was certain she recognized his voice and now she dreaded to think what had happened to Octavia. If she was dead Clarke would never forgive herself, nor would Bellamy and she knew he had every right to be angry with her, that is, if she would ever see him again.

While Clarke knew it was Emerson who kidnapped her, the people who had been chasing her and Octavia were Ice Nation. With this knowledge Clarke could only conclude that Emerson had made some sort of deal with the Ice Nation, no doubt to get revenge on Clarke for killing his people. Whatever it was that he had in mind, Clarke knew it wasn’t going to be pleasant for her.

With that in mind she pulled at the ropes around her wrists. It was not the first time she tried and unfortunately just like previous times it only resulted in the ropes cutting deeper into her skin. She flinched as she felt the skin around her wrist tear open as a result. At the sudden sound of a distant cry of pain her head jerked up and hear heart drummed in horror when she recognized the person it came from.

_Raven… no…_

Purely out of instinct she pulled at the ropes around her wrist again, even harder when she heard Raven cry out in pain once again. It only brought her more pain but she didn’t care, if she just kept on pulling at the ropes they would snap eventually. But then suddenly a hand grabbed the fabric of her shirt and yanked her forward before she felt a fist connecting with her nose, pain exploding from it followed by the metallic taste of blood in her mouth seconds later as she felt it seep from her nose into her mouth. Clarke grunted as she was pulled forward again and she felt the breath of her assailant on her cheek.

“It’s nice to witness fear again.” Emerson’s familiar voice instantly sent shivers down her spine. “Ever since you took away everything I cared about I no longer know what it means.”

He hauled her to her feet with little care for her well being and pushed her forward. Clarke stumbled, barely able to gain her footing, grateful once again for the training she had received but she felt dizzy from getting to her feet quicker than her body could handle after being rendered unconscious. She flinched when Emerson’s fingers dug painfully in her arm and dragged her along with him. They were walking uphill until Clarke felt her body connecting with the cold from outside and her body stiffened when she heard Raven’s cry of pain once more, only this time much closer.

Clarke felt like she could crawl into a corner and cry, she might have lost Octavia and now Raven was here, she could only guess how this was going to end for the young mechanic. Clarke swallowed deeply, tasting her own blood once more as Emerson dragged her along, every now and then pushing her forward before grabbing tightly at her bicep again. She couldn't lose Raven too. She couldn't and she prayed to herself that Lexa would find her. She knew by now the Commander would be looking for her and do anything in her power to prevent herself from losing Clarke the way she had lost Costia.

Raven’s cry of pain, they were so close by, interrupted her thoughts, lips parting as she gasped in shock of what could be happening to her friend. Friend, she thought, the last time they spoke they didn't feel like friends, but no matter the difference between the two, Raven did not deserve whatever was being done to her. Clarke felt herself being pushed down on her knees, Emerson’s hand pushed against her shoulder till her back connected with a wooden pole and she felt him tying an extra set of ropes behind her back to make sure her hands were tied securely against the pole behind her.

Almost at the same time she felt the hood being pulled from her head and the blindfold was yanked off as well. Clarke squinted her eyes together at the sudden exposure of the setting sun, it really didn't help the headache she had but after blinking a few times her vision evened out and she was greeted by Emerson’s smug look. She ignored it and immediately looked around, hoping to catch a glimpse of Raven. She spotted the brunette to her right, bound to a pole as well in a similar position. Raven’s eyes were wide open and connected with hers, it was impressive considering the condition her body was in.

The position of her legs, being knelt down, must be killing her. Clarke noticed a stab wound that was still oozing blood above her knee, there were a few cuts on her legs, even more so on her arms and a large cut on her stomach which stained the fabric of her shirt around it. Her lip was split and dried blood was caked around her nose. To see Raven like this made her sick to her stomach, but she knew Raven wasn't someone looking for pity, so she just nodded at her friend and Raven nodded back in return.

“Your Queen promised me my revenge, I need them both awake enough for it, could you keep that in mind when you decide to cut her up?” Emerson’s words made Clarke look at the person responsible for Raven’s torture.

She saw a girl around her own age, roughly the same height as Clarke, maybe slightly taller. Ice Nation scars covered her face and her brunette hair tied back in a bun. Clarke swallowed away a lump in her throat as she figured out this girl must be the same person that had tried to end Lexa’s life about a week ago. If Clarke could ever picture the definition of evil, this woman would come close to it, her eyes looked empty, soulless and she probably held no care for anyone but herself, or maybe not even herself.

“I do not answer to you, Maunon.” she snarled at him and just to make a point she kicked fiercely against Raven’s injured leg.

Raven bit down hard, teeth clenching but refusing to give in to the pain this time. “You are one fucked up woman, you know that?” Raven antagonized her and Clarke really wished she didn't, she’d hate to see Raven in even more pain.

Luckily for Raven, the woman, Ontari if Clarke remembered the name correctly, ignored the insult and diverted her attention to Emerson.

“While you were in there playing mindgames with the pathetic excuse of a woman that let’s herself be called Wanheda, my scouts told me the latest shipment arrived at Arkadia, just like we planned. Now watch your tone with me or I will gut you where you stand and I’ll finish this on my own.”

Clarke frowned as she saw Emerson snarl at her but seemed to heed her warning. It was then she realized he was not in charge here, looking around she noticed they were surrounded by roughly two dozen Ice Nation warriors. Of course he went to the queen to make a deal, they see a similar enemy in Clarke’s people, the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

“Have you enjoyed the view yet, Clarke?” Emerson said as she was just about to start wondering what he could be planning with the two of them.

Out of instinct her eyes jerked up and scanned the horizon, they widened then she caught a familiar sight in the distance; Arkadia. Her heart began to race, the feeling of not knowing what they planned with Raven, Arkadia or herself was almost torture, yet it seemed the answer to this was about to made clear for her when an Ice Nation warrior approached Ontari with a horse.

The young woman jumped on top of it with little effort and immediately barked orders at the surrounding warriors, pointing up a hill just ahead of them where Clarke spotted a large group of horses. The warriors were told to mount up and join her.

“Now that the sun is setting and the shipment has arrived, it is time for me to leave for Arkadia, so do to them whatever it is you wish to do, Arkadia will soon fall.” she said to Emerson.

But Raven smiled at her words. “You’re attacking Arkadia with only them, hah, good luck with that, you’ll never get past our gate.” she said smugly.

But Ontari matched her smile and didn't seem worried at all, which in turn, worried Clarke and she wondered what it was that she knew that they didn't. “We will see frikdreina, we will see.”

As soon as the group of warriors had reached her side she spurred her horse in a full gallop and in mere moments all the Ice Nation warriors had left the camp and it was just Emerson left alone with whatever sick idea of revenge he had in mind.

“I think I agree with you Raven, that bitch is a bit fucked in the head.” Emerson said smirking as he inched forward.

Despite the circumstances they were in Clarke couldn't help but chuckle when she saw Raven roll her eyes at Emerson.

“Is that your grand plan for revenge, bore us to death with small talk?”

But Emerson just laughed at her words and suddenly turned around, walking to a supply crate behind him and retrieving something from it but Clarke couldn't see what it was. When he walked back towards them, there was a small container in his hands. As he removed the top, he moved it to Raven for her to see the contents inside. Clarke felt nerves claw at her insides when she saw Raven’s eyes widen in shock.

“Hydrazine… ” she just barely managed to breathe out the words.

Clarke too felt her eyes widen in shock. Hydrazine is what they used to blow up the bridge when the Grounders planned to attack their camp, how had Emerson managed to get his hands on that?

“That’s right, Hydrazine, so you aren’t just a pretty face, you actually know a thing or two.” he mocked her, then he put the cover back on and brought the container back to the supply crate before picking it up and placing it on the ground in front of the two young women.

“How did you get that?” Clarke asked him.

“Funny you ask that.” he said as he sat down on the crate, not at all worried about the highly explosive liquid inside of it. “You know, back when it was just you kids on the ground, I was on patrol, spotted some of you at a crash site of one of your ships gathering the Hydrazine. When later on we noticed the explosion I connected the dots and when I managed to escape you mass murdering my people, I made my way to the Ice Nation border and what is it I see there, another ship from your ark, completely abandoned. So I confront the Ice Nation queen with my plan and we made an agreement.”

The fact that he mentioned the ship from the Ark, worried her deeply and with him mentioning the Hydrazine she started to figure out where he was taking this story, one glance at Raven told her she was too.

“Turns out, your people from that Station, Farm Station I believe it said somewhere on that ship, the Ice Queen had already slaughtered all of them, that is what she said anyways. Anyway, when I went to have a look it still had a tank filled with Hydrazine. Now, I am not as pretty or smart as you are, Raven-”

“Gee, thanks for the compliment.” Raven interrupted him but he ignored her and continued talking.

“But I am a military guy, so obviously I am fairly good with my hands and know a little about explosives. Did take me a while to figure out how to turn the hydrazine into bombs, but as you were still nowhere to be found, Clarke, I had some time on my hands and eventually figured it out. All that’s left of it is in this supply crate here, the rest of it,” he paused shortly, narrowing his eyes at Clarke,

“Well the rest of it is in Arkadia, ready to be detonated when the timers connected to it have counted down to zero.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I must be the umpteenth person to have Clarke kidnapped. But I saw no way around with where I want to go with this story. Please don't be mad at me, and if you are, can I offer cookies or pie to make it up to you?
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Shanen en Baman - Happiness and Revenge  
> Shopta - How are you  
> Kei - Very well  
> Dina - Food  
> No kom nau - Not yet  
> Teik ai bida tous? - Can I have some bread?  
> Yu laik Heda, yu nou badan gaf as op. Choj op - You are the Commander and need not ask. Eat.  
> Sonop - Good morning  
> Miya snap - Come quick  
> Mafta ai op - Follow me  
> Chit don kom au? - What is happening?  
> Ste yuj, Leksa. Osir na hon em op. - Stay strong heda, we’ll find her.  
> Lagen, ste kefa, Nyc. - Slowly, be careful, Nyc  
> Beja, Heda. Em don hon Reivon daun, em frag op oso kru. - Please heda. They took Raven, they killed our people.  
> Ai get em in, Nyc. Tel ai op hashta dison - I know Nyc, tell me what happened.  
> Jok yu, skat. - Fuck you, boy
> 
> Name explanations:
> 
> Ariz - Arizona


	12. Wamplei en Flosh klin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your support everyone. It keeps me motivated to continue writing. I am really keeping good track with updating it seems. Must be because I have more time on my hands lately. :)
> 
> Please make note of the tags, they have changed and look through them before you start reading this chapter. I have told you this is a dark story and if you are triggered by blood, violence and angst I would really advice against reading this chapter.

They had been searching all day, splitting up into two groups; Lexa had sent Anya with Miller, Nyc and some of her warriors while she had taken Monroe, Monty and the remaining of the warriors with her. She knew of a few secluded caves up in the hills that were worth checking, but once they arrived she found no trail of Clarke. Now with the sun setting and still no sign of Clarke; Lexa had to do her best not to let her emotions get the better of her. Should they not find any sign of Clarke or Raven soon, chances are they might not find them alive. If that were to happen, Lexa would be devastated and was certain she would not recover from it. Not after having lost a loved one again.

While she battled internally with her emotions, her stoic mask remained and the people around her had no idea of the storm that was going on inside her head. They had covered as much ground as they could and soon she knew she would cross paths with Anya, who she was sure had not found anything either, or else she would have had someone reporting back to her already.

From in front of her she could hear Monty and Monroe talking with each other, trying to keep their voices down in the hopes no one was hearing them, and while that might be the case for her warriors, she herself heard perfectly fine what they were saying.

"You think we'll find them, Monty? We been searching all day."

"We will find them, Monroe, stop worrying. Clarke and Raven are resourceful, they find a way to stay alive long enough for us to find them." Monty answered.

That was what Lexa had been telling herself too, but now with every second that passed, more doubt crept into her mind.

"How can you be so sure, this guy is really set on getting revenge on what Clarke did to his people."

Lexa saw Monty stop walking for a second. "How can you not? After all we've been through?" he said in an abrupt tone. He continued walking before Lexa would get close enough to them.

"I-I didn't… "

Monroe was tripping over her own words for a few moments before she caught up with Monty, Lexa saw she held regret in her eyes, feeling guilty for what she just said.

"I'm sorry Monty, I didn't mean to insult her, or Raven. They've done so much for us, I-I'm just worried." she said remorsefully, lowering her head.

Monty in turn felt bad for the outburst he aimed at her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I know, we all are. But we'll find them, okay? I know we will."

She nodded and looked ahead again, trying to see if she could find any clues to where her friends could be. Lexa studied her, she could tell that Monroe still had a lot to learn when it came to tracking. Lexa had long stopped looking around, already noticing moments ago that the area they are in now has not been visited for quite some time. There were no footprints, or if there were any they were barely visible. To her that is, Monroe nor Monty seemed to notice them at all.

Apart from the path ahead not being used, the untouched branches were another clue, there were no broken branches, there was no flattened grass, nothing was leading Lexa to believe anyone had been here recently.

"Monroe kom Skaikru, you will not find them by looking down, look ahead." she said, deciding to give the girl some pointers.

Monroe stopped walking and turned around, looking at her with confusion in her eyes. "An experienced tracker would have noticed the path we are on right now has not been used in some time. Footprints have all but faded, you will not find any now halfway up the hill. Instead you must look ahead, enemy scouts could be there, hidden in trees or branches to either ambush us or report our presence back to the enemy."

It was clear Monroe was struggling to speak her mind after this, probably not sure if she should talk back to the Commander. She saw Monty glancing at her over his shoulder, thinking the same thing.

"Ask me whatever is on your mind." she said, at least this will keep her mind away from worrying too much about Clarke, with her experience in tracking she could easily watch her surroundings as well as helping them.

"If there are scouts ahead, shouldn't we have seen that on the path in front of us? Or even the branches around us?"

Lexa shook her head. "Scouts are well trained in environmental as well as situational awareness. They will not leave obvious clues of their presence behind, they could have come from any direction. The fact that there is no trail here does not mean there will be no one there once we reach the top. Whoever could be up there could have used a different path. Once you are situated somewhere it is always wise to have scouts surrounding your base, ensuring that no one is sneaking up on you."

"Right… " she said nodding towards Lexa in appreciation. "Thanks, Commander. I guess… "

"You are welcome, Monroe." Lexa said and smirked as she had already noticed something in a tree ahead of them. "Now, if you would have paid more attention to your surroundings instead of focusing on me, you might have noticed by now that someone is watching us from a tree in the distance."

Both Monroe and Monty whirled around, hands reaching for their guns and aiming them ahead of them while trying to see if they could spot whoever she had spotted in the trees. The Commander immediately rolled her eyes, not happy that they were so on edge and so easily reached for their guns. After all, there was no need to be alarmed.

"You need not worry, that is one of my people, a warrior sent ahead by Anya to ensure us the path ahead is clear and Anya will be waiting for us up the hill."

They both remained sceptical, keeping their guns up but looking back to see Lexa and the remainder of her warriors relaxed and not even the slightest bit alarmed. They thought it through for a few more moments before Monroe lowered her gun; Monty immediately after.

Just as Lexa knew, she was right about the warrior in the tree. Once they were close enough he signalled to Lexa the path ahead is clear and that the rest of the group will be waiting at the end of it. This was not good though, this meant they had covered a lot of ground but were still unable to find any sign of where Clarke and Raven were taken. As they reached the top of the hill, Lexa spotted Anya and made her way over to her former mentor.

"We found nothing, Heda, I am sorry to say he hid them well."

Lexa released a frustrated sigh; she could not give up, they had to keep searching. "We found nothing either, we have to keep searching, where else could they be?" she said, almost sounding desperate.

Anya's lips parted but before she could say anything she was interrupted.

"Heda!" a scout rushed towards her. "A rider approaches, it is Kensi."

Everyone looked up into the direction the scout was pointing and saw how Kensi sped up the hill and forced her horse to stop, jumping off it immediately.

"We found them, Heda, I know where they are." she said, excitement and relief clearly noticeable in her voice.

"You did?" Monroe asked, sounding even more exciting and preventing Lexa from answering Kensi. Everyone's gaze fell to Monroe, who immediately turned bright red with embarrassment. "Uhm, sorry?" she said, unsure of what to say.

Lexa looked at her with warning, before turning to Kensi. "Where are they?"

"They are more to the east, well hidden, I almost missed it. Adel is still there, scouting the area, we took out some Azgeda scouts but other than that it seems Emerson is there alone with Clarke and Raven. There are horse tracks though, Azgeda must have been there, but where they are now I do not know, I cannot follow the tracks, we need to free them first."

Adrenaline was rushing through her body, she felt her heartbeat almost slam through her chest at this news and now that they know where they are it was time to free them. With only Emerson there that should not be a difficult task, but yet it felt strange to her that he would be all alone with them, no Azgeda around. He must be planning something, but what exactly she still couldn't say.

"Well done Kensi, but you are right, we cannot waste anymore time, lead the way."

Within moments Lexa was on top of Rasha and the first one to follow the former spy down the hill and onwards to where Clarke and Raven are being held, she just hoped she would be in time. She couldn't even imagine, nor did she want to, what she would do if she found Clarke dead. One thing was certain though, as soon as she gets her hands on Emerson the Commander will make sure that his final words will be him begging for death.

* * *

"You're lying." Clarke said defiantly.

There was no possible way for Emerson to have been able to sneak into Arkadia and plant bombs. He is toying with them, trying to get under their skin, scare them. One look at Raven told her she was thinking the same and yet when their eyes met they both knew they held a level of uncertainty.

"There is no way you could have made it into Arkadia unseen." Raven added, trying to convince herself more than she was trying to convince Emerson.

But as much as they were trying to do this, the emotions on Emerson's face didn't waver, even worse, the confident smirk on his face grew larger by the second. He stood from the crate and walked towards Raven, kneeling down to level her height.

"No, you are absolutely right, apart from Clarke taking me captive there once I have never been inside Arkadia." He paused, turning his head to look at Clarke, the blonde couldn't help but feel a knot forming inside her stomach. "But the Commander was nice enough to get my bombs inside your walls."

His words lingered in Clarke's mind even though she knew all too well that Lexa would never strike a deal with Emerson to destroy Arkadia, it would not benefit her at all, and yet she believed him but she couldn't quite figure out why. Glancing over to Raven for a moment she saw she was thinking through the probability of this as well. Clarke hated herself for thinking that maybe Raven believed him and thought the Commander betrayed them again. Surely Raven wouldn't believe him. There was no possible reason for Lexa to do this. They had made an alliance, Skaikru would help rebuilding TonDC and Trikru had prepared several shipments-

Her eyes widened in shock when the realization suddenly struck her and Emerson noticed she figured it out.

"There we go, you figured it out." he said mockingly.

"The shipments, you used the shipments… how-"

"Well I actually thought my plan would never work." he stated; stepping away from Raven to open the crate, his eyes never leaving her. "Turns out the Commander isn't as smart as she lead you to believe."

He reached inside the crate, carefully pulling out the small container of Hydrazine, placing it just far away enough from Raven and then he held the inside of the crate up for them to see while his hands reached inside and pulled out the bottom only to reveal a concealed area.

"Turns out no one among the Grounders had been smart enough to discover this, I had to tell them how to make it. They really are a bunch of primitive savages." he said with a sneer. "While they took Raven away a few of Ontari's people replaced four of the Trikru crates with these, and each crate holds a false bottom with my craftily made bombs."

He put the crate back down and before Clarke could blink he was in her personal space, fingers digging in her jaw and forcing her head back, leaving Clarke no chance but to look him in the eyes, doing her best to ignore the pain he was causing her.

"The Commander clearly never expected this either and had the shipment delivered to your people a few moments ago. And when the bombs go off while you sit here, watching your people die, just as I had to watch mine die, had to watch my children die, Ontari will attack and take care of any remaining survivors there might be and you can watch them die again. And then-" he turned his head to Raven "then I will kill her, slowly and very painfully until it is just you who remains of your people, just you. Then you will feel what I've felt and you will spend the rest of your life in agony, knowing that you were responsible for their deaths."

His words, his unsympathetic dark words, they kept repeating in her head. He wants her to suffer what he had to suffer. She couldn't blame him, she killed them all, all of  _his_ people, even the children. Suddenly she saw their faces again, faces covered in radiation burns, Maya's face, the children, they all looked back at her holding the same vile smirk Emerson did. But she let them, she didn't shake off the feeling, Clarke just let her mind torture her, letting the guilt that she had slowly but steadily been getting over, consume her again. She deserved it, she deserved to suffer for what she did.

"Clarke, damn it!"

It was Raven calling out to her, but she ignored the brunette. Her breathing quickened, reacting to the torture and panic she was putting herself through right now. They were all going to die, all of her people and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Her mother was there, Bellamy, Kane, everyone. They were going to die because of her, she failed them and soon there will be even more blood on her hands, Clarke knew she would never be able to recover from this.

"Clarke, snap out of it, come- ah… "

She heard Raven's voice again, this time it was enough to somehow calm Clarke down and get her attention. The blonde looked over to see Emerson had hit the mechanic quite forcefully to shut her up; she was spitting blood on the ground. Her thoughts turned dark again, he was enjoying every second of how she was torturing herself, telling herself that she deserved this.

Clarke knew she deserved this, but Raven didn't, her people didn't. No, she couldn't let Emerson win, she couldn't just give up, the bombs hadn't gone off yet, there was still time to do something, to think of something and get out of here so that they can warn their people. She could not give in, that is not who she is, she could never give up. So the blonde looked at him, anger clearly visible as her eyes bore at his but all he did was smirk, not the least bit of impressed by her newfound confidence.

"Now look what you did, Raven, you ruined the fun." he said, once again hitting her, hoping to break Clarke's spirit again.

The mechanic simply offered him a dismissive sneer, doing her best to ignore the pain; once again spitting blood only this time she spat at his feet then looked up at him with a challenging look, almost offering him to hit her again. Clarke didn't want that to happen again, she didn't want Raven to suffer because of her.

"Your children would be ashamed of you." she said and knew it was a big mistake the moment the words left her lips.

His eyes darkened, the evil smirk on his face faded and there was nothing but rage in his eyes as he stormed towards her; and kicked Clarke, his boot forcefully connecting with her thigh. Clarke was biting away the pain, but her eyes widened as she saw he was about to kick her again. She braced herself for the pain, feeling his boot connecting with her knee this time, followed by a kick to her side, the tip of his boot digging into her ribs. This time Clarke wasn't able to stop the cry of pain but Emerson wasn't done yet.

It was his fist this time, and by now he was growling in anger with every punch and kick he delivered to Clarke. She felt her lip split once his knuckles collided with them and blood began to drip down her chin. She cried in pain again when that same fist landed just below her left eye, another kick and another punch, it felt like he wasn't stopping and Clarke couldn't stop herself screaming anymore. She heard Raven's pleas towards Emerson, for him to stop hurting Clarke, but he was blinded by rage and even if he did hear her, he wouldn't have stopped anyway.

The punching and kicking didn't end until she felt his fingers wrapping around her hair to push her head back . "Don't say that again!" he yelled at her, slamming her head back against the pole. "Don't you dare say that again!"

He readied himself to punch her again, Clarke once more bracing herself for it. But as his fist paused in mid-air, he stopped, hesitated for a few seconds and then let go of her, stepping away while running his hand over his head, trying to calm himself down.

"No… " she heard him say while she coughed, blood pouring out of her mouth as she did. "No, you both need to see this, you both need to watch."

Although relieved he had stopped his rage fuelled assault, it changed nothing for the people of Arkadia, she had no way to warn them. Her breathing was quick and painful, her breaths shallow and her coughing was accompanied by a fair amount of blood. When she finally managed to regain some composure she noticed Emerson was still trying to calm himself down; she also now realized that in midst of the beating the ropes around her wrist had come slightly loose. Perhaps something good had come from setting the last Mountain Man off in a rage after all.

While Emerson was still occupied calming himself down, the blonde glanced at Raven who was visibly concerned. Clarke offered her an assuring nod in response when suddenly there was an explosion. Her eyes widened in shock, her head snapped towards Arkadia, afraid that Emerson's bombs had gone off but the scenery hadn't changed. Clarke realized the explosion was too close for it to have come from Arkadia. From the corner of her eye she did see where the smoke came from but as she turned to face it Emerson quickly jumped to his feet and took a couple of pieces of cloth from his coat. The first piece was used to gag Raven and then he did the same to Clarke before he moved behind her. His arm was locked around her throat and she could feel the cool metal of a gun barrel press against the side of her head.

"Oh don't worry Clarke, that wasn't Arkadia just yet. I knew I'd be alone as soon as Ontari left, I made sure to plant some mines around the vicinity, just a few, didn't have many of them but it looks like someone was kind enough to step on one." he said and with his head so close to hers she could feel his breath on her skin.

"Show yourself, or one of them gets a bullet in the head!"

To make his point he increased the pressure of the gun at her head, causing Clarke to clench her teeth together to fight the pain. Then she saw people emerging from the trees to their left, her eyes wide with joy when she saw Lexa flanked by Nyc and Anya; she saw Monroe, Miller and Monty right behind them together with a fair amount of warriors. The warriors had their bows in hand, but not drawn, her friends were doing the same with their guns. Nyc and Anya had their swords at their side while Lexa was the only one who hadn't drawn a weapon. Perhaps the look in her eyes when she quickly glanced at Clarke was enough of a weapon. Having seen the injuries Clarke suffered Lexa's eyes filled with fury, as she advanced forwards at a slow pace.

Clarke glanced at Raven for a moment and saw relief in her eyes. When Clarke looked back at the group she saw the relief was aimed at Nyc. He was present at the shipment run and Raven must have thought him to be dead, she could imagine the relief to see him alive.

"That's far enough, Commander."

Lexa did as Emerson said, but the anger in her eyes didn't dissipate. "You kill Raven or Clarke, you will spend the rest of your life suffering in a cell, I know you desire death after your plot for revenge, I will not give it to you." she said coldly.

"Tell me Commander," he said, completely ignoring her threat "how many of your people died from that land mine?"

Clarke couldn't see it but she knew he held a taunting smile on his face, Lexa's reaction to his question proved as much. Just as it answered his question, the landmine had definitely taken at least one life.

"Not as many as the amount of people you lost at the Mountain." she sneered at him.

Clarke immediately felt the arm around her throat tightening. "Say that again, I dare you." he threatened. Emerson clearly hadn't recovered from his earlier burst of anger, he was short fused and the blonde wasn't really sure if that was a good thing.

"I apologize, Emerson kom Maunon, I was mistaken in my assessment. I have lost far more people than you have. For almost a century my people have been bled out and turned into Reapers because of what you and your people did to us, perhaps your people did get what they deserved after all."

Clarke realized what Lexa was trying to do. The Commander was trying to anger him, to make sure his focus was on her and not on Clarke. It was a stupid thing to do, Lexa should not sacrifice herself for Clarke's sake. She should not put her feelings for Clarke before her people. She thought Anya would have warned her about this by now, but the General calmly stood next to Lexa and didn't seem to be worried about her Commander in the slightest.

_What are you up to, Lexa…_

Whatever it was, having Emerson focus his anger at Lexa seemed to be working. "Shut up and move over, just you, slowly." he said, briefly aiming the gun at the Commander before Clarke felt the cold metal at her head again. His arm moved away from her throat but he grabbed a fistfull of her hair and forced her head back.

"I don't care what you do to me, one wrong move and she bleeds."

Clarke swallowed deeply as she saw Lexa do what Emerson demanded of her. The brunette took slow and steady steps towards them, it felt as if for each step she took, Emerson tightened the grip he had on her hair. She flinched as he pulled again, then aiming the gun at Lexa.

"Stop, that's far enough." he said when Lexa was only a few yards away from them.

Clarke looked at her with pleading eyes, begging Lexa not to sacrifice herself for Clarke, not to do something drastic that would get herself killed. But as their eyes briefly met, Lexa only showed calmness and confidence and Clarke hated that whatever she had planned to get everyone out of this alive, she didn't know about it.

"You know Clarke, I heard you and Octavia talk this morning, about her." he whispered in her ear. "You have feelings for her. Not that I blame you, the Commander is good looking."

He briefly turned his attention towards Lexa, once more aiming the gun at her. "Get on your knees." he told her.

Clarke shook her head as Lexa did what Emerson told her. Her pleading eyes moved to Anya, almost begging the General to stop Lexa and whatever foolish plan had thought of. But Anya just shook her head and ignored Clarke's silent pleas.

Emerson noticed Anya shaking her head and the gun immediately went from Lexa to the container that stood in front of Raven. "Try anything andwe all die, one spark is enough to light up that container of Hydrazine." he said.

Clarke looked up at Monty who immediately let go of his gun, eyes aimed at Raven for confirmation and the brunette nodded. Miller and Monroe immediately let go of their guns as well but Lexa's warriors still had their bows in their hands, they would not back down from the threat, not unless Lexa told them so. Which she didn't, she all but remained on her knees, emitting nothing but confidence, not even a hint of worry when the gun was aimed at her again.

"What will happen if I fire this gun, will your people kill me, or will they hold their fire, not risking Clarke or Raven to get hurt? Or is it just Clarke? Are you just doing all of this to make sure your girlfriend doesn't get hurt?"

A lump got stuck in her throat when the gun remained aimed at Lexa. Clarke wished she could beg Lexa not to do this, he wants to see Clarke suffer and he knew killing Lexa would do exactly that.

"I will give you one last warning, Emerson, lower your gun and step away from Clarke and Raven." she said with plenty of warning in her voice.

"You are not in a position to negotiate!" he yelled, moving the barrel of the gun back towards Clarke's head. "I will hurt-"

His words were cut off. An arrow whirled past Clarke's head and embedded itself in the arm that Emerson used to hold the gun. He cried out from a combination of pain and surprise and the gun fell from his grip. Lightning fast Lexa was on her feet and lunged at Emerson. The two rolled out of Clarke's line of sight, as she heard them struggle she arched her head back to try and see if Lexa was winning, she could barely see it and then suddenly gentle hands were placed on her shoulder and she whirled her head back, seeing Anya come to Lexa's aid as she did, her eyes landed on Monty and Monroe.

"Clarke, you ok?" Monty asked as he removed the gag.

Clarke immediately nodded. "Yes I'm fine, I'm fine, untie me, Arkadia isn't safe!"

Monroe pulled out a knife and cut the ropes while Clarke looked at Raven to see she had already been untied. She pressed firmly into Nyc's arms, embracing him, she had shown relief to see him alive earlier but this moment between them was more and Clarke thought it to be strange because as far as she knew Raven didn't like him. But as soon as her hands were untied she pushed the thought aside.

"What do you mean Arkadia isn't safe?" Monty asked, looking mildly confused.

Clarke got up to her feet with Monroe's help, Emerson's beating was somewhat savage. "Monty, radio Arkadia, the supply crates are packed with explosives" she ordered with some urgency.

However, Monty did not hurry off to fetch a radio like Clarke expected. Instead he stood still with an expression that could only be described as despair, Monroe shared his expression. "Clarke, the only radio we had was damaged by the mine blast."

Clarke then hurried over to Lexa, who seemed to not even have needed Anya's help and was delivering one punch after another, Anya not even bothering to stop her, nor did Kensi who approached them, bow still steadily in her hands and nodding briefly at Clarke when their eyes met.

"Lexa stop!" But Lexa wasn't stopping and continued to strike Emerson as hard as she could, his face now a bloody mess but his eyes open and he was even laughing at her. As she reeled her hand back to hit him once again Clarke wrapped her hands around her wrist to stop the Commander, but then immediately let go again, realizing what she had just done in front of Lexa's warriors when Anya glanced at her in disapproval.

"Please Commander, have your people watch him, we need to go to Arkadia now, he has bombs there, we need to warn them and evacuate, Ontari will attack as soon as the bombs go off, come on!"

Nothing but confused eyes were aimed at her, not only from Lexa, but from Anya and Kensi as well.

"What do you mean, Clarke?" the Commander asked as she stepped away from Emerson's beaten husk. Two warriors rushed by them to lift him up and restrain him.

"The shipment, the one Raven was taken from, Emerson and Ontari replaced the crates, there were bombs hidden in there."

Lexa shook her head. "No Clarke, my people checked the crates, there was nothing there." she said.

"Your people didn't check correctly." Raven's hoarse voice sounded as everyone turned to her as she held the crate Emerson had and showed the hidden space inside of it.

In mere moments Lexa's shocked and surprised expression recovered from the unpleasant discovery, switching into full Commander mode she barked orders at her warriors and all of them went in motion. Horses appeared from the trees, one warrior hurrying towards Lexa with Rasha as the Commander motioned for Clarke to follow her.

The remaining of Lexa's orders were lost, abruptly halted by the roaring sound of explosions that echoed around them. A silence followed afterwards where everyone looked up at Arkadia only to see it engulfed in an enormous cloud of fire and smoke. The groaning sound of smaller, yet deafening explosions came next and that is when Clarke suddenly heard the screams and cries of Raven. Everything seemed to be going in slow motion as her eyes turned to the brunette, only to see her slumped in Nyc's arms, no strength left in her body.

Clarke felt the same pain, felt how her heart was being torn to pieces, how her limbs felt like dragging her down, ready to collapse, to give in to the pain. She felt bile rise in the back of her throat, she could throw up any minute. But she didn't, Clarke barely managed to get to Monty, who was staring at Arkadia, tears in his eyes, then switching to Monroe, who was shaking, moments away from a panic attack. Clarke was too, but she knew she couldn't, she knew it wasn't over yet and she needed her friends to be with her, to hold on to reality so that they could hurry to Arkadia and help any possible survivors, prevent them from falling prey to Ontari and her people.

She glanced up briefly to Miller, who wiped away the tears that had fallen down his cheeks, he nodded at her, showing her that he understood there was no time to mourn, not yet. So she looked back at Monty, who looked at her with his eyes still soaked by tears.

"Guys." she said, switching her hands from Monty's shoulders to Monroe's. "I know, I know this is horrible, I'm scared too, broken, devastated at what just happened, but our people need us, we need to go there and help them. If people survived-"  _if my mom survived_ , she thought to herself. "If people survived then they need our help, Ice Nation soldiers are down there, we need to make sure they don't succeed in what they started, can you do that for me? Can you just hold on, stay strong a little longer, please?"

She watched as Monroe's lower lip trembled, how she swallowed away the lump in her throat, how her eyes closed, more tears escaped but when her eyes opened and they met Clarke's, she nodded.

"Okay… " she said softly. "Okay… "

"Okay." Clarke said back, turning to Monty who nodded at her too.

Then she looked at Raven, who was still slumped in Nyc's arms, still consumed by anguish. He was not trying to talk her out of it, not trying to force her to push away the pain for a little while longer so that she could help the survivors. He understood just as Clarke did, that with the extent of her injuries Raven could not do much, right now she would be lucky to be able to stand. So even though Clarke knew that Raven was one of the strongest people she knew, it was okay for her to mourn already, to embrace Nyc's comforts and do what she needs so that she can work through what they had just witnessed.

"I will remain here with her, go with Heda." he said to her.

He didn't have to tell her twice, as she turned to Lexa however, it was then that she suddenly heard the sick laughter from Emerson's lips. He looked at her, his bloodied face covered by a wicked smirk.

"Now you know how I feel, Clarke, now more people died because of you."

Anger boiled to the surface. She could not deal with him, not now. But she also couldn't stand hearing his voice, hearing his evil laughter. She charged him; not even noticing how Lexa ensured the warriors holding him to not let go, to not stop Clarke as she balled her fist and slammed it into the side of his head as hard as she could. The laughing stopped instantly and his body slumped in their arms, but Clarke was already looking at Lexa, not giving Emerson another second of her attention.

"We need to move, Lexa, we need to help my people."

Lexa nodded. "We do." she said and immediately mounted Rasha before holding out her hand to Clarke to help her sit down on the horse behind her. "You two." she said to her warriors. "Go back to TonDC for reinforcements. We will need healers, have Nyko come to Arkadia as soon as possible and have someone bring Niylah." she turned to the remaining of the warriors. "For the rest of you, we go to Arkadia with two goals, rescue any Skaikru you see and kill all Azgeda!"

And after a choir of voices acknowledging Lexa's orders, they marched to Arkadia; Clarke already braced herself for the chaos she knew she was about to face.

* * *

The orange of the flames reflected in her usual brown eyes, the white war paint on her face also decolored by the shadow of the flames. Her eyes narrowed slightly after another explosion roared around the area. Women and men were yelling, children were screaming and crying. The groaning of metal weakening,melting away and smashing off the structure as it falls to the ground, mixed with the chaotic cries and yells that resonated from the settlement. To most it would sound like a horrific scene, but not her. Mere moments ago the structure was still in one piece, towering over the landscape that surrounded it. It was alive and thriving with the people happily doing their respective duties. People had been working on crops, children had been outside playing, horses were being tended to. It was just another day on the ground for the inhabitants in what they called Arkadia.

Not anymore.

Now Arkadia was burning and engulfed in smoke. There was panic and chaos all around and she enjoyed every second of it. The explosions had been deafening, but she hadn't flinched once. Behind her she could hear a few startled gasps yet she just shrugged it off. Another explosion sounded, her eyes narrowed as they moved with the smirk that showed on her lips; something good had come out of this Alliance with the last of the Mountain Men after all. She had no idea how he made these bombs, but they were working to perfection, Arkadia was in ruins, the entire structure was in flames and soon when survivors would come running out she will end their lives and that will be the end of Skaikru.

Except of course for Wanheda and Reivon kom Skaikru; they were a matter to be dealt with later. First though she and her warriors would slaughter any Skaikru lucky enough to survive the bombs. Then Emerson and that frikdreina would meet their demise, while he had proven himself useful she still despised him and she would take great pleasure in killing Wanheda's dear friend in front of her, one more death on her conscience. She would be lying if she said she wasn't tempted to kill Wanheda herself, rather than deliver her to Queen Nia, and use her power to kill the woman who raised her to essentially be a tool to use when she saw fit, she hated being ordered around. But she knew now was not the time to take the crown.

She would not have enough support from her own people, let alone from the clans who sided with her. Things were going too well for Queen Nia right now. For now she will wait patiently, the right moment will present itself eventually.

And so she remains here, hidden among the trees, waiting for the right moment to order the warriors with her to charge the burning structure and end the life of every man, woman and child that still lives.

"It looks better this way." she heard a warrior say as he spat on the ground.

Another warrior hummed in agreement and snorted. "Even better if Skaikru and their tek are all gone." the woman agreed.

She shrugged, agreeing with both warriors before her head jerked sideways when someone appeared next to her.

"How long before we attack?" she was asked.

"Not long now, we wait a bit longer still, Toro." she said.

"Sha, Ontari."

If she has come to rely on anyone in her life, it has been Toro. He was young still, though a few years older than her, but she found no one more loyal to her since the day he had been assigned to her by Queen Nia. Wherever she went, he will go too, first because it had been ordered by the Queen, but now because over the years he started to respect her and she would even go as far to say that he feels more for her than respect. A feeling she does not share, though occasionally she would indulge his lust and have him keep her company at night, only to send him away afterwards.

If it bothered him, he never showed this and truth be told she doubted that it did. There was not much else to get from her, he knew this too and likely took solace in the fact that she would allow him in her bed every now and then, not even bothered to know that more men and women have had the same pleasure.

"Ready yourselves." she said; pulling her sword from the scabbard behind her back.

The warriors behind her immediately mirrored her actions and awaited her orders. She smirked, lips twitching with an evil smile as she saw an elderly man and woman struggling out of the wreckage, both hanging on tightly to one and other.

"Toro, take five warriors with you, and make your way to the other side of the structure as soon as we attack. Ensure that no one escapes into the trees from that side, we leave no survivors."

She heard Toro acknowledging her command while her eyes remained fixated on the elderly couple who were now resting on the grass, coughing from all the smoke they had inhaled. But more people started emerging from the burning wreckage now and this was the opportune moment to start their attack and the two elderly people would be the first ones to die by her sword.

"Gon Azgeda!" she roared and then kicked her horse, steering it forward into the direction of her first target.

The warriors that followed behind her roared out a battle cry and from the corner of her eyes she could see Toro moving to the other side of Arkadia, warriors following in his track and all of them ready to kill any Skaikru they came across.

Ontari looked back in front of her, the older couple were clearly aware of her presence, the fear on their faces was evident, it brought a wicked smile to her face. But instead of standing up to fight, the older man pushed the woman down and wrapped his body around her, acting as her shield as soon as Ontari raised her sword to attack.

His attempt to protect the woman was fruitless; Ontari's sword sliced deeply through the man's body, killing him almost lifeless husk was kicked away by another warrior while a third warrior pierced his sword through the heart of the screaming woman without a spec of remorse.

If all of the remaining Skaikru were this weak, this would be over sooner than she thought. But she was pleasantly surprised when she found a boy, he looked roughly around her own age, hair only inches long and a goatee on his chin. But his eyes, his eyes is what made her smile, they were filled with so much anger, anger she recognized and knew just how to handle. The fact that he had a gun in his hand and aimed at her did not worry her in the slightest, she already expected the arrow that flew by her and lodged itself in the boy's shoulder, forcing him to lower his arm and before he could rise it again her boot connected with his head, knocking him back while she stopped her horse and jumped off, whirling around to face the boy again.

He scrambled back to his feet, readying the gun again but he was too slow and Ontari kicked it from his hands and proceeded to punch his already bloodied and broken nose. He stumbled backwards, but did not cry out in pain. Instead he just grunted and felt at his nose, touching it and just then he started smiling, it wasn't the same as the evil smirk she had on her face, it was different. It was sarcastic, he knew he was going to die and looked like he didn't care.

"You Skaikru are all weak." Ontari spat at him and readied herself to finish him off. "You know not how to fight, all you know is your guns and your tek."

His laughter just increased, every hint of anger he had aimed at her mere moments ago was gone.

"I'll see her again… I'll see her again… " he just mumbled, completely ignoring Ontari's words.

But she knew the meaning behind it, she knew he longed for death, for a reunion with the spirit of a loved one. She will grant him this, slowly and painfully…

Ontari grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked him forward, eyes aimed at his abdomen, lips twisting smugly as she pierced her sword through his skin, slowly. She looked at him, lips parting in pain, gasping for breath and adrenaline rising as she pushed the blade further and further and then forcefully pulled it out while holding the grip on his shirt.

"You will see her again, but not soon, and not without pain, a lot of pain." she said and then pushed him back on the ground, not giving him another second of her attention.

Instead she looked around, eyes scanning the vicinity, glad to see that her warriors were taking care of all the survivors that came running from the building. And if there were some that escaped one of her warrior's notice, another one would make up for that mistake. She was pleased to see Skaikru fall to either the head of an arrow or the edge of a blade. It was all going according to plan. She tilted her head when she saw a middle aged man with half long brown hair and a beard stumble from the wreckage, supporting a badly injured woman around the same age. Her eyes widened with delight when she recognized certain features on the woman's face. Ontari immediately knew who this was, she relished at the idea of telling Wanheda just how she had slaughtered her mother, how she had made the woman beg for her life. The thought of decapitating the woman and bringing her head to Wanheda was endearing. She twirled her sword around before advancing in her direction and was happy to see the woman and the man were both not aware of her nearing presence. Today was a good day, today was the day where she would kill Wanheda's mother and bring her head as a trophy, today marks the end of Skaikru.

* * *

"Abby… "

She heard her name being called, but she couldn't quite figure out where it came from and from who. All she knew right now was pain, terrible pain. Pain in her leg, pain in her side and pain in her head.

"Abby, come on, wake up. I need you to wake up."

There was the voice again, slightly louder this time. But the pain was too much, especially the pain in her side. Why was there so much pain in her side. Why did it feel as if something sharp was embedded there, torturing her with every breath she took.

"Please, Abby, wake up… please, you have to wake up, we need to get out of here."

A gentle touch was what followed after the voice spoke and she felt the hand gently shaking her shoulder. She wanted to listen to the voice, she really did, but there was so much pain. Why was she in pain, what caused her to feel like she was being tortured. She remembered talking to Marcus when suddenly there was a deafening roar, a flash and then everything went dark.

"Come on, wake up damn it!"

Marcus, she had been talking to Marcus. It was his voice she heard, it was him trying to wake her up. The deafening roar, the pain, suddenly it all made sense. There was an explosion. There had been an explosion in Arkadia, that is why she was in so much pain. Marcus was right, she needed to wake up, she had to wake up.

"M-Marcus?"

"Yes, Abby." she heard him say in relief and then felt his hand merging with hers. "Open your eyes, please, Abby."

And she did, she opened them, even though it brought her terrible pain, almost unbearable pain, but they opened just enough to see Marcus' blurry face over her. She blinked a few times before his greying beard and brown eyes came into focus. But then she felt like her lungs were on fire, which made her cough, which made her cry out in pain. She looked down at her body to see a sharp piece of glass embedded in her side.

"Shit." Marcus said and proceeded to reach for the piece.

But Abby shook her head.

"N-no, no l-leave it, don't pull it out, n-not here, I'll bleed to death."

He nodded and checked her for other injuries. By now Abby was awake enough to know she had a wound on the back of her head, she felt the blood from it dripping down her neck but as Marcus' eyes rested on her left leg, she looked down on it as well, not able to stop a startled gasp of surprise when she saw another piece of glass, much larger than the one in her side and it had gone all the way through her leg, just below her knee.

"Leave that in too?" she heard Marcus ask.

"Yes." she said and suddenly the screams and shouts around her were slowly registering. "Marcus what's going on?" she asked, looking around her but seeing nothing but debris, smoke and fire.

"There were explosions everywhere, I don't know what caused it. But I heard horses, and fighting, I think the Ice Nation is attacking us, we have to get out of here Abby." he said, his voice sounding worried.

She nodded, but had no idea how she was going to get up.

"Can you stand, should I carry you?" Marcus asked her.

"Just… stand behind me, hold my arms and then help me get up." she said.

He nodded and stepped behind her, as soon as she felt his arms below her armpits Abby pushed herself up, but screamed as the pain in her side became too much, she expected it to hurt, just not this much.

"Again, try again." she said and immediately felt Marcus' grip tightening around her.

Abby took a deep breath, already feeling the glass in her side, but she ignored it and pushed herself up. She screamed out in pain, it was too much but she kept pushing until somehow she found herself standing, leaning her weight on her uninjured leg and Marcus' arms. She started feeling sick, the world spun around her but she could not let herself pass out, they had to make it out of here.

She flinched at the sound of straining metal and moments later debris came falling down only a few meters away from them. It startled her but then she noticed things seemed to go in their favor as the fallen debris had created an opening they could use to get outside. But as they took slow steps, Abby suddenly stopped as she saw a body lying just next to the opening.

"No… " she heard Marcus mutter and Abby found herself unable to stop the sick feeling from taking over and hurled forward, vomiting at the sight of the burned body they saw. Despite the terrible degree of burns, both of them recognized Jackson's lifeless body. It felt like she had been staring at his body for ages before she finally managed to close her eyes and then look away, feeling tears fall down her cheeks. All she wanted to do was sit down and cry, mourn the loss of her good friend, just give in to the pain and pass out so that the image of her dead friend would go away.

"Come on Abby, let's go." Marcus said but from his voice she could hear he was having trouble dealing with Jackson's loss as well.

She sighed, wiped the tears away from her cheeks and opened her eyes. As she nodded at Marcus he immediately supported her weight again and together they slowly made their way out of the burning structure. They both coughed as they stumbled outside, Abby cradling her side from the pain it caused and relieved to have a moment to breathe. Marcus kneeled down next to her, also needing a moment to breathe and together they scanned the area around them.

It was gruesome and devastating. From what she could see the entire Ark was in shambles. It was completely destroyed, the few pieces that were left standing were ablaze and were looking like they could collapse any moment. Even worse, the few people who had made it out were being slaughtered by warriors. Ice Nation warriors no doubt and Abby thought she was going to throw up again. Her people were being slaughtered all around her, or were already dead and she could do nothing about it.

Suddenly a horrible feeling of dread fell over her and she felt the hairs on back rise. She swallowed deeply and when looking at Marcus she saw he sensed it too. She looked down only to see a shadow looming over them. Her head turned up slowly until she came face to face with a young woman with dark hair, scars and white war paint on her face and a deadly smirk on her lips.

"You are Wanheda's mother." she said, the dark smile on her face only getting worse.

"No… no… "

Marcus jumped to her defense and without a moment's hesitation threw a punch at her. The woman easily blocked it and then slammed the handle of her sword in his face. Marcus fell backwards, grunting in pain and briefly stunned from the quick but brutal strike.

The woman already turned her attention to Abby, reaching down and grabbing the collar of Abby's coat to pull her forwards, causing her yet more pain from the wound in her side.

"I will enjoy delivering Wanheda your head." she said and pushed Abby backwards.

A cry of pain escaped her lips and she could only watch as the woman raised her sword, ready to strike. But just as she did Marcus lunged at her again, but just like the first time she saw it coming and evaded it with a simple sidestep. In one swift movement she reached for her knife and before Marcus could recover from his stumble the knife pierced through the skin at his side and then she kicked him fiercely at the back of his knees.

Marcus' cry of pain echoed through her head, adrenaline rushed through her body as she got up and tried to get to his defense. But the woman was quick and she had already turned around and held out her sword, the tip of it now inches from her throat forcing Abby to an abrupt stop. Until the woman's hand wrapped around the piece of glass that was sticking out of her side and she started putting pressure on it. Pain took over, her vision swam and she could have sworn the cry of pain that erupted from her throat could have been heard miles away.

"I think Wanheda may have even heard that." the woman said with a chuckle.

Abby was certain her life was about to end, the woman once again throwing her arm back, ready to kill Abby but this time a battle roar from behind them was what stopped the woman, she turned around and as Abby looked up she saw Bellamy charging at the Ice Nation warrior. This time the dark haired woman was not able to step away and as their bodies collided they rolled over a few times until the woman used her strength to gain the upper hand and held Bellamy down on the ground.

The young woman didn't have too much trouble holding Bellamy down despite his advantage in size, he was clearly still suffering the effects of the blast to some extent. Even though she was woozy and light headed, Abby could see the young woman was slowly twisting one of Bellamy's wrists in a way no human limb should bend; until the inevitable sound of snapping bone could be heard immediately followed by a sharp cry of pain from Bellamy. But he didn't give up, he bit through the pain, mustered what strength he could and headbutted the woman, blood spattered around them as the force caused the woman's nose to bleed but she did not seem to be fazed by it.

But then Bellamy moved up his knee, slamming it in her side with just enough force to cause the woman to briefly lose her grip and made it possible for Bellamy to throw her body off him and roll away.

"A-Abby."

The voice of Marcus steered her attention away from Bellamy's fight with the woman and she saw him reaching out for her, unable to move. Abby crawled over to him suffering through her own pain to inspect his injuries. The woman knew exactly where to stab him, she had hit an organ and he was slowly bleeding out. If he didn't get any help soon he was going to die.

"I'm s-sorry… " he mumbled.

"No, don't say that, Bellamy will get us out of this, he will-"

But it was Bellamy's grunt of pain that made her head jerk up as he took another strike to the face; in her determination to reach Marcus she hadn't properly realized just how ferocious the young woman was, she fought like a woman possessed and was giving it worse than she was taking from Bellamy. She was surprised; Bellamy was a well trained soldier, even training with Lincoln on occasion and had the size advantage. Abby looked on as they continued to trade blows until the Ice Nation woman got the upper hand over an exhausted Bellamy and took him to the ground again, only this time she managed to gain position and had him pinned. She saw the woman reach for a knife from her boot and with no hesitation at all jammed the knife into his upper right arm and twisted it; before quickly stabbing him another four times around the same area. He let out a great cry of pain; Abby couldn't stop herself from cringing at her friends distress. Deep inside, outside of a miracle, she knew Bellamy was about to die. She just hoped it would be quick… If only she knew what the Ice Nation woman had in mind.

Abby looked on as the young woman prepared to do the same to Bellamy's other arm but before she could, Bellamy not being one to give in and die without a fight; raised his only good arm and grabbed her knife wielding arm by the wrist and squeezed as hard as he could, in the hope it would be enough to force her to yield, if only briefly. Their struggle continued until the Ice Nation woman dug her fingers into the knife wounds on Bellamy's other arm; instantly causing him to drop his arm and as a result his attacker drove her knife into his shoulder; again twisting the blade.

Confident the knife wounds that Bellamy had suffered rendered his arms useless, the Ice Nation woman stood up, looking down at her stricken opponent. A flicker of hope sparked inside Abby's heart, maybe this woman had a change of heart now that Arkadia was destroyed and Bellamy no longer able to put up a fight. However that hope was quickly extinguished when Abby saw the look on the young woman's face as she looked at her, pure evil.

Abby lay there looking on as the young woman proceeded to launch a brutal assault on Bellamy's chest with her feet; kick after kick after kick. His groans of agony briefly ceased as she delivered a powerful kick to his head, clearly sending him into a daze.

She then turned to Abby, "You won't enjoy this, but I will."

She watched as the young woman rolled Bellamy onto his back and as she did Bellamy spat a considerable amount of blood at her, even now he was still putting up a fight. In retaliation she quickly whipped out her sword again and pierced Bellamy's stomach; once more he cried out in pain. Abby briefly looked away in tears; before quickly looking back for one last attempt to save his life.

"Please… no more. Please!" she pleaded, even though inside she knew it was pointless; there was no reasoning with these animals.

Too distraught for anymore words she watched on as the young woman began repeatedly stabbing Bellamy's chest and stomach; every stab turned his clothing ever more red. Tears continued to stream down Abby's face, wetting the dry ground she lay on, completely motionless. She had to ask herself, would she suffer the same fate?

She was completely lost in her own thoughts now looking away from the horror with her eyes sealed shut, unable to watch Bellamy any longer. Now not even completely aware of what was happening; she could hear him faintly coughing, and then suddenly nothing. Not until approaching footsteps, they stopped right behind her head. A brief moment of silence was followed by a thud in front of her. She slowly opened her eyes only to be met by the most horrific vision. Grief, despair, anguish, nothing could really describe her emotions at the sight of Bellamy's severed head.

"Ai na frag yu op, nomon kom Wanheda."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go, the darkest chapter so far is done. I hope you listened to my warnings. :)  
> Sorry but I am not sorry for all the death in this chapter. If anyone's death is not to your liking, all I can offer in return is cookies, or maybe icecream. Hmmm...  
> Translations:
> 
> Wamplei en Flosh klin - Death and Destruction (Roughly translated)  
> Ai na frag yu op, nomon kom Wanheda - I will kill you, mother of Wanheda.
> 
> Name explanations:
> 
> Adel - Philadelphia  
> Toro - Toronto


	13. Faya en Kik thru

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The attack continues and will be seen through various POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments and kudos, it really keeps me motivated to continue writing. I hope you've all recovered from the previous chapter because we are going to continue right where we left off. Enjoy!

They all emerged from the trees at full speed, she felt a pang in her heart at the burning structure ahead of her and the panicked people that were being attacked by Azgeda. They might not be her people, but no one deserved this and the pang in her heart was not only for these people, but also for Wanheda as she could not even begin to think what the young woman must be going through right now.

The moment they merged from the trees, the Commander started barking orders at the warriors, sending them in separate directions. She saw Anya following a group of warriors to the other side of the burning structure while the remaining of Skaikru remained at their side, horror clearly visible in their eyes.

"Kensi!" Lexa yelled out to her.

Kensi looked over to where her Commander indicated, from their distance she could make out there were four people; one standing and three on the ground. She squinted; trying to focus her eyes and as they edged closer to the burning wreck of Arkadia she could make out the face of one of the people on the ground; it was a woman, she quickly recognized that it was Abby, Wanheda's mother. Even though the sole person standing had their back towards Kensi she could tell it was a woman and not of Skaikru, her attire was that of Azgeda.

It was clear to her they were injured, one unfortunately had been relieved of their head. However she kept her gaze mostly on the Azgeda woman, a strange feeling took over her, a slight sense of recognition yet she couldn't place it. That is until the woman turned around and her face became visible. In that instant Kensi's eyes widened with anger. Hatred consumed her, she would never forget the face of the one that forced her to kill her beloved Natshana.

She gripped the reins of her horse tightly, she knew her Commander wouldn't approve of the rash action she was about to take, but right now her mind was set. She whipped at the reins, instructing her horse to go, to gallop. She was laser focused on one thing and one thing only, the Azripa; she charged on her loyal steed towards her sworn enemy with only one goal, vengeance for Natshana.

As she gained ground; keeping one hand on the reins she used the other to grab one of the throwing knives tucked in her belt. Then at the moment she felt she was close enough to ensure a hit she hurled it with all of her strength; it flew through the air at such a speed, it gave Ontari almost no time to react and pierced her lower stomach. Now they were just meters apart; she pulled the reins slowing her horse and dismounted with a swift slide, her horse continued on for a couple of meters before coming to a stop. She drew her sword as she stood there, staring at the one whose life she greatly desired to end.

Ontari snarled at her, visibly annoyed that she had squandered her chance to kill Abby. She grabbed the knife in her stomach and pulled it out; tossed it aside showing almost no sign of discomfort, it appeared that the knife wound had barely weakened her. But at least it had prevented Ontari from taking the life of Clarke's mother, an innocent woman. The Azripa took a few paces closer to Kensi, her eyes filled with hate and malice. She was set, determined that Kensi's life was hers to take.

"Well this might not be as I had planned, but at least I finally get to end your pathetic life, loufa."

"You can try, but you will fail!"

Without wasting anymore time Kensi lunged at Ontari, ready to claim her revenge.

* * *

If it wasn't for the fact that her mother and Kane were badly injured, Clarke was sure she would have vomited right there and then. As soon as she'd gotten off Lexa's horse her eyes met with Bellamy's beheaded corpse. The horrific scene made her just about ready to vomit, seeing her friend like that made her feel things she had never felt before. She wasn't sure which was worse, seeing Arkadia going up in flames or seeing Bellamy's mutilated body with no head, the boy who started out as a thorn in her side but had grown into someone she came to rely on.

Now he was dead, his mutilated body made bile rise up at the back of her throat. Anguish fell over her and her body shook at the sight of her now dead friend. For a moment she was glad that Octavia was not there. Even though she had grown much stronger as a person, she always held a soft spot for her sibling, and likewise for him. The image of him battered, bloodied and beheaded would crush her to a point where most people may not recover from. Clarke knew just telling her was going to be an incredibly arduous task.

But as the horrific emotions were about to take control, her eyes caught sight of Kane and her mother. Instead of collapsing, she found the courage and strength to hurry over to them and pushed her emotions away, just as she had told herself after the explosion, she can mourn later. Right now her people need her to be strong, right now her mother needs her and so does Kane.

"Clarke… you're safe, you-you're-"

The blonde cut off her mother's words.

"Shh, mom. Lie still, we can do this later." she said, hands roaming over her mother's injuries.

"M-Marcus, help Marcus first." her mother pleaded.

Clarke looked at Marcus and saw how the ground around him was slowly turning a dark shade of red from the blood he had lost. She looked from her mother to him, judging the situation and then agreeing with her mother, she needed to stop the bleeding right now. She looked up, trying to see if she could get any help. Her eyes were met with a wall of Trikru warriors surrounding and protecting them. For a second she looked past them and spotted Lexa in the distance, fighting a few Ice Nation warriors. In her haze of panic she was not paying attention to what was happening around her. At some point Lexa must have ordered the warriors to protect her while she herself went onto the battlefield to protect Clarke's people.

She turned her head to the sound of metal colliding and noticed Kensi and Ontari fighting in the distance. She was glad that Kensi at least had managed to lure Ontari away from them. But with no immediate help around to treat Marcus, she took matters into her own hands and tore off a piece of cloth from her shirt. As she knelt down next to him she pulled his shirt up and pressed the cloth firmly on his wound, causing the older man to cry out in pain. It was a good sign at least, he hadn't passed out yet, it would increase his chances to get through this.

"I'm sorry Marcus, but I need to stop the bleeding. Please fight, as hard as you can. I can't lose anyone else."

He looked up at her, eyes barely open but he gave her a slight nod. A promise that he would fight and stay strong as long as he could.

"I need one of you to help me out." she yelled to the wall of Trikru warriors around her.

Clarke was glad that almost instantly someone knelt down beside her. She looked up at a middle aged man with a tattoo around his left eye.

"What do you require, Wanheda?" the man asked.

"Take over from me, keep this pressed down firmly, I have nothing to stop the bleeding so this will have to do." she said.

The man nodded and replaced Clarke's hand with his own. As soon as they switched roles Clarke moved over to her mother. Scanning her eyes up and down her body and showing concern. The pieces of glass needed to be removed, but doing so now was no option. With no tools available right now, she would bleed out in a no time. She cringed slightly though at the sight of her mother's knee, that injury looked quite serious.

"Are you okay, Clarke?"

Clarke was slightly surprised by her mother's concern, even now seriously injured, she appeared to show more concern for her daughter's well being than herself. Clarke knew she must have some bad cuts and bruises on her face, and they obviously hurt but it was easy to push the pain aside, looking after her mother and Kane was priority right now, everything else, including grief, would have to come later.

"Mom, I am fine, don't worry about me. It's not important right now."

What was important right now is that they get help and medical supplies to help her mother and Kane as well as any other injured people. But help like that would have to come from Niylah and the reinforcements from TonDC but Clarke knew that they wouldn't be here for a while. Her eyes fell to Lexa, all she could hope for right now was that Lexa and her people manage to overpower the Ice Nation, and as Lexa was fighting, cutting down yet another Ice Nation warrior, it looked like the fight was going in their favor.

* * *

"Protect them, those Skaikru are priority do not let anyone get past!"

Lexa ordered a handful of her warriors to surround Clarke's mother and Kane while Clarke was tending to their injuries. Her eyes momentarily switched to Bellamy as her warriors surrounded the Skaikru she slightly shook her head at the sight of his corpse. Lexa would be lying if she said she felt any remorse for his death, she did not like him very much but he had not deserved what Ontari had done to him. She did however feel remorse for Clarke, for having to see her friend like that. And for Octavia, who will soon find out her brother no longer lives.

But there was no time to dwell on this. Her eyes moved to Kensi, who was fighting Ontari, pressuring the woman away from Clarke so that she could tend to her people. Lexa wanted to join the fight, to help Kensi end Ontari's life once and for all. The young woman had gone into this fight with too many emotions, with the need for vengeance and that could cost her dearly. Kensi is a skilled warrior, but so is Ontari and she feared that Kensi's emotions would get the best of her.

"Shit, Harper! No!"

Had it not been for Monroe's voice, Lexa would have come to Kensi's aid. But as she turned her head she saw a blonde haired girl crawling from the wreckage and she noticed a few Ice Nation warriors in the distance had spotted her as well. Her own warriors were either too far away or too occupied to assist, it was up to her to help and she had no choice but to leave Kensi to her vengeance.

"No! Don't fire your guns." she heard Monty yell at Miller and Monroe. "We're surrounded by hydrazine, it's too risky."

Lexa agreed, if this hydrazine caused the destruction of Arkadia even the smallest amount could cause a great explosion, it would be best for Skaikru not to use their guns. They will have to put their fighting skills to the test, if they have any. She wasn't optimistic judging by Monty's form.

"Monroh and Mila, stay close to each other. Most Azgeda warriors are tall and strong. You need to take advantage of that with speed and accuracy. Monti, stay close to me."

Monty acknowledged with a nod, if not with slight hesitation Lexa thought. She unsheathed her weapon and ran towards the stricken blonde girl, whom Lexa assumed from Monroe's worry was called Harper. Monty followed right behind her. They reached the girl just before the Ice Nation warriors. "Watch her" she ordered Monty as she moved to face the first of the warriors that came recklessly charging at her, a smirk formed on his face when he realized who he was facing.

"Ai frag yu op, Leksa kom Trikru." he snarled at her, refusing to call her Commander.

Lexa didn't know what tale Queen Nia had told her people about her, but this warrior was convinced he could take on Lexa all by himself. But as he carelessly swung his sword at her, it was no effort at all to sidestep it. She caught his follow up attack easily; grabbing his wrist before his fist could connect with her jaw, she pulled his arm down and plunged the tip of her sword in to his stomach.

She could already sense her next attacker, attempting to sneak up on her from behind. The warning in Monty's eyes was evident but she already knew the warrior was behind her. Lexa spun herself around, and in one swift motion the blade of her sword sliced through the warrior's throat. She wrapped her arm around the waist of the dying warrior and then turned on her heels once more, pushing the choking fool forward, unbalancing two more warriors that were charging at her.

That was when the hairs on the back of her neck rose up and she realized there was a third warrior coming at her from behind. She just about heard Monty's warning before she felt a boot slamming into her back. She stumbled forward, dropping her sword as she fell right into the path of the other two Azgeda warriors. She took a sharp strike to her jaw, followed by a strong kick to her legs dropping her down to one knee. She could hear the warriors laughing with confidence as it appeared they had the advantage. That was where they miscalculated; they were underestimating Lexa's resilience. She saw how they prepared to continue their assault and as the female warrior threw another punch the Commander evaded with a roll. She kicked fiercely at the woman's legs dropping her down to her knees and quickly scrambled back to her feet. As she did she delivered a powerful uppercut to the second warrior, two of them now in a bit of a daze. She spun to face the third attacker only to notice his blade quickly coming at her, but with the briefest movement she shifted her position so the blade glided harmlessly by her. She grabbed the attackers arm, bent it in a way no arm should bend forcing him to lose his grip, enough for her to disarm him and use his own sword to pierce through his heart.

As she pulled the sword from his corpse, she spun around, facing the other two warriors, the brimming confidence they showed mere moments ago had been replaced by fear, clearly surprised by the fighting skills Lexa had just displayed.

"Set yu daun o wan op."

It was not at all surprising that they ignored her offer to surrender and charged at her. Lexa just smirked and with a few swift and precise moves, ended their pathetic existence.

* * *

Clarke told the warrior to pull away the piece of cloth covering Marcus' injury so she could inspect it. She had no idea how much time had passed but slight relief ran through her body when she saw the bleeding was slowing down. Though it didn't guarantee he would make it, it increased his chances. She reached for a water pouch that was hanging from the warrior's hip and held it up to Kane's lips, urging him to take a drink. It didn't go easy but he managed to take a few sips.

"T-thank you, Clarke." he muttered softly and she nodded in reassurance.

"You are doing well so far, Kane, hang in there." she said and then turned to her mother, tending to the injury at the back of her head and wiping away some blood before offering her mother some water as well.

It wasn't so much the injuries that concerned Clarke about her mother. The older woman clearly looked distressed, the events of the explosion together with having to watch Bellamy die weighed heavy on her. Every now and then Clarke spotted her mother looking past the warriors surrounding them, no doubt looking at Bellamy's corpse.

Clarke had purposely positioned herself with her back aimed at his corpse, that didn't mean she didn't see it every time her eyes closed but she did her best to keep herself busy with Kane and her mother to prevent herself from panicking. All of this can wait, it had to wait, she had to stay strong for her people.

"Clarke… Bellamy, he… he-"

She decided her mother had tortured herself enough and repositioned herself so that her mother could no longer look at his corpse.

"Don't look at him, mom. Look at Kane, he needs our support right now, he needs you to help pull him through."

Abby turned her head around and despite the chaos around them and the horrible events that had transpired, it warmed her heart when Kane and her mother made eye contact, both offering one another a reassuring smile and perhaps a bit more that she had not noticed before. The sound of battle cries briefly distracted her, she looked up to see Lexa and several of her warriors had regrouped among a bunch of dead Ice Nation warriors.

It looked as though the battle was going in their favor with Trikru now outnumbering the Ice Nation. The favouring odds increased when she noticed a few Arkadian survivors had found the strength to fight alongside the grounders. Clarke watched as Lexa led the charge against the remaining Ice Nation; the Skaikru survivors, knowing it was too risky to use firearms, grabbed a weapon off the corpses around them and did their best to keep up with the experienced warriors.

She then turned around and looked at Kensi, the young woman was still in her fight with Ontari. She looked quite beaten. Her movements were slightly sluggish, she was beginning to tire. Clarke continued to watch for a few seconds, her vision somewhat obscured by warriors around them. Suddenly the fight had turned around, she saw Kensi stumble back, looking off balance. She couldn't tell what had happened but now Ontari had the advantage.

Clarke had to fight her natural instinct to help, she had to remain with her mother and Kane, and it was likely the warriors surrounding them would stand by their Commander's orders and prevent her. Inside she knew she would likely be of little help, they were both far more seasoned in combat than her. The blonde flinched as she watched Ontari land a hard strike to Kensi's jaw, causing her to stumble back further. Clarke hated watching this but she was unable to look away, she could only hope that help would come or that Kensi could retake the advantage.

* * *

Kensi grunted as she spat blood to the ground. She had no time to regain any composure before she felt Ontari's sword slice across her stomach. She reacted just enough, turning her body to ensure the blade didn't cut too deep but it did enough giving Ontari the opportunity to strike again. She slammed her boot into Kensi's legs, causing the young woman to fall backwards, landing painfully on her back.

Momentarily breathless and on her back, Ontari once more showed no mercy and kicked at Kensi fiercely, feeling the other woman's boot connect painfully with her ribs and she was sure she could feel the bones gradually cracking inside her body. It caused her to groan in pain again and again as the barrage of kicks continued. She felt powerful kicks against her ribs, her face and her legs. Somehow through her haze of pain Kensi saw an opening and slammed her fist against the wound she had caused with her knife earlier.

Now it was Ontari who cried out in pain; instinctively stepping back. It gave Kensi enough of a chance to roll away and scramble back to her feet. Her eyes quickly scoured the ground looking for her sword. She cursed softly when she saw it out of reach behind Ontari, she would have to continue this fight without a weapon, while Ontari still had her sword in hand. Kensi gripped at her ribs for a few moments, fairly sure at least one or two were broken before pulling her arm away and taking up a defensive stance, ready for the next attack.

But despite the advantage Ontari seemed to have the Azripa hesitated and remained on the spot. Kensi wondered what caused the hesitation when she felt a presence behind her, panicking slightly at first, thinking it was another Azgeda warrior but then she relaxed as she saw Anya stepping next to her, both hands gripping a sword as she held out one of them for Kensi to take. But just as Kensi thought they had gained the upper hand, half a dozen Azgeda warriors started to appear from behind the burning structure and came to Ontari's aid. One particularly bulky young man stepped next to Ontari and said something loud enough only for her to hear. Then a flash of annoyance ran over her face before she snarled at Kensi and spoke up.

"Frag em op!" she heard Ontari yell. The warriors roared as they charged towards her and Anya.

Kensi braced herself as the six warriors came charging at her and Anya. She heard the General chuckle, almost sounding happy to fight them before the sound of colliding metal rang through her ears as both she and Anya danced around the Azgeda warriors. The pain of her injuries was pushed aside as she sidestepped, dodged and parried attacks and countered them easily as her blade cut through skin, disposing of the Ice Nation warriors one by one. The two women were outnumbered but the warriors were no match for either woman and only managed to land a few light hits.

It didn't take long before the last of them fell to Anya's blade, the general growling as she pulled her sword from the woman's corpse. Kensi looked up, ready to face Ontari and the wall of a man only to see them in the distance, mounting their horses and heading away from the battle.  _Running, like cowards_ , she thought. She would have chased them down with no hesitation had Anya not been there to stop her.

"Let them, we are needed here." the General said.

And though frustrated that she was not able to get revenge for Natshana, she knew Anya was right. With Azgeda retreating they could now focus on helping Skaikru, seeing to the survivors until reinforcements arrive.

* * *

They were fleeing, the few Azgeda who still lived were fleeing like cowards. Unfortunately Ontari was one of them and Lexa will have to let her. She noticed how Anya had to physically restrain Kensi from going after her. Helping Skaikru was the top priority right now, she quickly glanced at Clarke and saw she was occupied tending to the injuries of Kane and her mother , turning around she saw Monty carefully inspecting Harper's body for injuries, then hugging her when he realized that apart from from some scratches and little cuts, she appeared fine.

Miller and Monroe walked over to them, both looked worse for wear, but have appeared to have held their own. She quickly turned to the remaining warriors, handing out various orders. She told some to scout the area, to make sure no more Azgeda were still lurking around and ensuring the reinforcements that are on their way would arrive safely. She told others to search the area around the burning structures, look for survivors and bring them here so that Clarke and Kensi could look after them until Nyko and Niylah would arrive.

She was about to give orders to Anya when she suddenly heard a voice coming from the wreckage behind her. It was distant and low, but she just about managed to hear it through all the commotion around her.

"Anya!" she yelled to her General and hurried in the direction the screams came from.

Anya was right on her tail as she heard the voice again, slightly louder this time, she knew she was heading in the right direction.

"It's coming from over there, Heda!" Anya pointed out and together the women walked to a part of Arkadia that had almost stopped burning and had a small opening at the bottom.

The two women wormed themselves through the metal debris until they reached the opening, the voice now sounding loud and clear.

"Dad!"

The voice sounded young, that of a child, filled with panic.

"Dad!" the child cried out again.

Both women crawled down and looked through the opening. Lexa spotted a young boy, probably around five years old. The boy sat with his knees pressed up against his chest, arms wrapped around them. He had a few cuts on his face and scratches on his arms but seemed to be fine otherwise. The boy was visibly distressed as his eyes were focused on something, he didn't even seem to notice their presence.

Lexa looked to where the boy was fixated and saw the body of a man, no doubt his father. The man was almost completely covered in burns and the boy was unable to look away from him.

"Dad!" the boy cried out again, hoping that somehow his father would stand up and come to protect him.

Lexa decided the best course of action was to distract the boy away from his dead father.

"Hello there, little warrior." she said.

Shocked, the boy looked up at Lexa, eyes wide and tear stained and remained locked on Lexa for a moment before they fell back to his dead father. The groaning sound of metal made Lexa look up in the room for a moment, ash fell down around the boy followed by some debris but it didn't seem to alarm the boy, who remained focused on his dead father.

"Heda, this part will be collapsing soon, the boy needs to get out." Anya said.

"He is in shock, he will not come out on his own."

"Let me go in, I will get him out." Anya said but Lexa stopped her.

"The opening is small, I will go myself." she said.

Anya didn't agree with her Commander risking her life for a child not of her people, Lexa already saw her ready to protest but Lexa waved the General's protest away.

"I will go, Anya, end of discussion."

Anya clenched her jaw but then nodded and leaned back, taking Lexa's sword as soon as she held it out to her. She proceeded to squeeze herself through the small opening, almost certain now that Anya wouldn't have fit through anyways; her General is taller and broader than her and would have had more trouble getting through. The boy was startled when he saw Lexa crawling through, noticing that Lexa was not of his people. She was glad that she wasn't wearing any warpaint. There was no need for it when training and once she found out Clarke was missing she wasn't about to waste any time applying it. It definitely made her look less intimidating but he was scared nonetheless.

She couldn't blame him, nor could she imagine what the boy was truly feeling, their people are raised quite differently. Having an unfamiliar woman, a grounder even, coming towards him was probably setting off all kinds of alarm bells in his head. So she decided to stay where she was for now, ensuring him that she was not here to hurt him and doing her utmost to take his focus off of his dead father. Right now the boy was at war with himself on where to look; Lexa's warm and caring expression or the horrific sight of his father's charred corpse.

"I am not here to hurt you, little warrior. The bad people are gone, you can get out of here now." she said, taking a small step forward.

The boy shook his head, his eyes aimed at his father again.

"You don't want to leave?" Lexa asked.

"N-no." the boy said softly. "My dad."

Lexa sighed, looking at the man again, his body must have been caught by the initial explosion, the burn marks were pretty gruesome and the boy was doing himself no favours by constantly looking at him.

"He is dead."

She turned back to the boy, tears now falling down his cheeks, one of his hands rubbing his eyes.

"I know strikon."

Lexa took another step closer to the boy.

"He pushed me away, it is my fault. I need to stay with him."

The boy was then startled by a small explosion from outside, causing the metal around them to groan once more and more debris to fall down only inches from the boy, causing him the push his knees even further against his chest as his lips trembled and he whimpered softly. Lexa knew she had to hurry.

"What is your name, little warrior?"

"T-Tyler" he said softly."I am n-not a warrior. I am s-scared."

"You are a warrior to me, Taila kom Skaikru." he curiously looked up at the unfamiliar words."Even the bravest of warriors are scared at times."

He frowned. "R-really?"

Lexa nodded. "Yes, see that woman over there." she said, pointing at Anya waiting for them just beyond the small opening.

Tyler looked up and his frown increased when his eyes landed on Anya, but he nodded.

"That is Anya, she is the bravest warrior I have ever known. But right now she is scared, for me, because I am in here talking to you while we should both be out there, with her."

"Why?" he wondered, wrapping his arms even tighter around his legs.

"Because there is fire around us, and soon the metal above us will collapse and it could really hurt us both. It would be best if we both got up and go to her, where it is safe."

Lexa decided to take several paces forward; stopping only a few steps away from Tyler, ready to take matters into her own hands should the situation take a turn for the worst. This part of the structure looked like it could collapse at any moment.

But once again Tyler shook his head, eyes locking on to his father again. "But what about my dad. I can't leave my dad." he said, a new wave of tears running down his cheeks.

"Your dad sacrificed himself to save you, strikon. He is resting now." Lexa took another step forward. "But his spirit remains with you, always."

A new frown formed on his face, deeper this time. "How?" he wondered, finally looking away from his father and eyes now locked on Lexa.

"Trikru believe our spirit lives on once we have died. Your father's will be here." she leaned forward, index finger gently pressing down on his chest, over his heart. "He will remain there, and watch over you, little warrior."

Again to the sound of straining metal debris fell around them, startling Tyler once more, some small pieces even striking Lexa. She just hissed and shrugged off the discomfort it caused and as she did she felt the boy lunge at her and wrap his arms tightly around her waist. Only surprised for a second, Lexa quickly acted and lifted Tyler into her arms and made her way to the opening but as she tried to put him down he struggled and clamped on tighter to Lexa.

"No!" he said as Anya's hands were reaching through the opening. "No! I don't want to! It is my fault! It is my fault!"

Tyler was hysterical now, Lexa tried to get him to let go and get to Anya through the small gap but she quickly realized there was no time to try and calm him down. She positioned herself by the gap so that Anya could get a firm grasp on him, Anya grabbed him and with some effort managed to pull him through the hole, Lexa followed immediately behind. She could hear Tyler screaming at Anya to let him go, the fighter in him began to show.

They made it out of the burning wreckage and when a few meters away Lexa knelt down to his height to try and talk him out of his panicked hysteria, but before she could get a word out he broke free from Anya and lunged at her, tightly wrapping his arms around her again. His screaming instantly stopped but he continued to sob as he pressed his little head down in to the crook of Lexa's neck; who held him tightly as she stood.

At that moment the structure behind them groaned one last time before collapsing in on itself; the two women hastily took a few paces further back.

"Dad!" Tyler cried out, one hand moving away from Lexa and reaching out to the collapsed metal.

Lexa nodded at Anya and together they made their way through the debris again, away from the burning metal husk. She wrapped her fingers around Tyler's hand, which was still reaching forward as he screamed for his dad and she gently pushed his hand down.

"Remember what I said, Taila, your father's spirit is still with you, he will protect you. Show him you are strong."

As he continued sobbing, he seemed to listen to her and once again pressed his face down in the crook of her neck. As they made their way back, tiredness seemed to finally take over as emotions were setting in and his adrenaline was settling down.

Anya shrugged at the sight of it while they headed towards Clarke. "He has just met you and has already grown attached to you, Heda. I am not sure if he will ever let go." she said.

"He will let go as soon as he is reunited with a familiar face, I will ask Clarke to check up on him, ensure the cuts and scratches are the only injuries he has."

Little did she know that as soon as she reached Clarke and she was about to set him down, he was going back into a full panic attack again. Lexa sighed, there was a lot to do still for her, having a child attached to her was not part of it. She knelt down, matching his height and placed her hands on his cheeks, forcing the boy to look at her.

"Taila kom Skaikru, you will pull yourself together now, your father's spirit is with you, remain strong, strikon. Klark kom Skaikru is of your people, you can trust her. She will look after you, I must tend to my own people now. Okay?"

Tyler rubbed his tear stained eyes but nodded, looking up at Clarke and Lexa saw him relax slightly when his eyes were met with Clarke's wide smile. Lexa placed her hand on Clarke's shoulder and squeezed it slightly, making Clarke look at her.

"I am sorry Clarke, I… "

Clarke placed her hand on top of Lexa's. "I know, Lexa. Don't worry, we will have time to talk later." she said, the tone of her voice soft. But the look on her face was evident. Bags under her eyes, well under one eye, as the other was bruised. Her eyes were red, proof that she had been crying. Clarke must be exhausted, devastated, but yet she didn't show it and remained strong for her people. For people like Tyler.

Lexa nodded. "Very well, Clarke. It will not be long now before reinforcements will arrive." she looked ahead of them, where Kensi, despite her own injuries, was tending to Kane and Abby. "Marcus Kane and your mother are strong, they will live."

A reassuring smile just barely managed to form on Clarke's lips before she looked down at Tyler and knelt down, giving the boy her full attention. Lexa sighed, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Today's event was a complete tragedy, despite Skaikru not being part of the Coalition, her heart weighed heavy at the loss Clarke's people had suffered. Lexa wasn't sure if Clarke had thought of it yet, but Arkadia was completely destroyed, it had become unsalvageable; Clarke's people, how ever many of them are left, were now without a home.

* * *

Lexa had been true to her word, It wasn't long before reinforcements had arrived. Nyko had arrived with medical supplies, tents had been set up and now, well past midnight, Clarke found herself in the medical tent, staring at her mother and Marcus who were now resting peacefully. Her mother will be fine, but will need a lot of time to recover and might not ever be able to walk normally again due to the piece of glass that had been stuck below her knee. But Clarke didn't care. All she cared about was knowing that her mother was going to be fine, physically. Mentally, was a whole different story and she knew that the outcome of Marcus' situation has a lot to do with it.

While they had managed to stabilize Marcus, he had lost consciousness at some point. He had lost a lot of blood and it now all depends on whether he would make it through the night. If Marcus is still breathing in the morning, he had a good chance at getting out of this alive. And if he did, it would mean a lot to her mother and she was certain that the two of them would help each other get through the difficult time ahead.

She took a deep breath, momentarily closing her eyes and when they opened they landed on Tyler. The boy had been given something to help him sleep. Even after Lexa had left him with Clarke he fell into moments of panic, and if Clarke or Lexa were not present no else one had a hope of calming the boy. So when Niylah had arrived, she'd given Clarke something for Tyler to sleep. That way Clarke could tend to other injured people and Lexa could do her duties without having to constantly come back to Tyler to calm him down. Both women had no idea what made the boy cling to them and refuse help from anyone else. Tyler was sound asleep now and Niylah had assured her it would stay that way at least till dawn.

"Why are you still up, Griffin?"

The familiar voice startled her a bit, lost in her thoughts she had completely missed him walking inside. Regret filled her eyes when he stepped next to her and she faced him.

"Murphy, I am so sorry, I-"

"Why the hell are you apologizing to me, Clarke?"

Her lips parted yet no words followed, she found that it took her a while before she was able to respond as she shook her head.

"It's my fault. Emerson. I should have-"

Murphy cut her off once again.

"Woah, woah. Stop right there, Clarke. None of this is your fault. I'll be the last to admit it publicly but all the shit you've done was to help us. I mean I've been nothing but an asshole to you and others but even I can see that none of this is your fault. Emerson and the Ice Nation did this, okay?"

"Okay." she said, barely managing to keep it together but Clarke really didn't want to fall apart in front of Murphy.

Murphy had arrived earlier today with the reinforcements no doubt wanting to come and help after hearing the news of what happened to Arkadia. He seemed a changed man since he returned from Polis but it might be short lived. It might be that once time has passed and everyone has been able to work through the events in their own way that he goes back to his old habits. She was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt but made a mental note to herself to keep a close eye on him.

Her eyes suddenly widened when realization struck her that she was still unaware of Octavia's condition, looking after her mother, her people, had completely occupied her mind until now.

"Octavia, I need to know if she's alright." she muttered, intendeding to walk out of the tent, but Murphy already had the answer waiting for her.

"She's fine Clarke, the Grounders took care of her, I think I heard someone say that she and Raven will be coming here around noon."

Clarke's head lowered. "She doesn't know about Bellamy yet."

"Nope." Murphy muttered softly.

A deafening silence was what followed after that. Neither of them knowing what to say. They both just stared ahead of them, Clarke's eyes moving from Tyler back to her mother, briefly stopping at the resting bodies of other Skaikru that had been brought in injured.

"Will your mom be okay?" Murphy asked, interrupting the silence.

Clarke shifted her eyes to her mother, nodding at Murphy before speaking up.

"She might never be able to walk normally again, but she will live." her eyes moved to Kane. "I am more worried about Kane, though. If he makes it through the night his chances will improve."

Murphy had never been a fan of authority, and she couldn't blame him after what was done to his father on the Ark, but his next words surprised her.

"Well that's good." he said, trying not to sound too relieved. "I guess we'll need him."

"But I don't know what for, almost all our people are dead, there's only thirty four of us left and they don't have a home anymore, Murphy."

The tone in her voice was sad, and the hard truth of it once more made Clarke's eyes water up with tears. But she didn't want to cry, she didn't want to fall apart. Not in front of Murphy and in a room filled with her people, with her mother, she could not show them any weakness, not in these trying times. Her people, however many of them were left, needed someone to stay strong through all of this, crying and falling apart had to wait till later, until she was alone.

"They have you." he suddenly said.

"What?"

His words had startled her and she wasn't sure if she'd heard him correctly.

"Our people. They have you, you'll get us through this, that's all we need."

His words weighed heavy on her shoulders; he was basically putting the fate of their people in her hands. She wasn't sure if she wanted to yell at him for it. How could their people still put their fate in her after today's events. She had brought down the Mountain. Because of it Emerson had exacted his revenge. Now only thirty four of her people were still alive, over five hundred had indirectly died due to her actions.

"Who would still want to follow me after all this?"

"I would."

That wasn't Murphy's voice she heard, she looked to where the voice came from to see one of the injured people sitting up, his half burned head aimed at Clarke.

"I have seen and heard all the things you did for us, you are young still and yet I wouldn't have the balls to do half of the things you did." his voice was hoarse and his lips trembled from the pain it must have caused him to speak.

Clarke immediately walked over to the man and guided him back down so that he wouldn't strain his back. Murphy slowly followed with the water pouch Clarke asked him to grab.

"You're Peter, right?" she asked almost rhetorically. She already knew she was right, she's seen him several times back when the Ark was still in space.

"I am. And I mean it, you've done so much for us, Clarke."

Clarke nodded at him and waited till Peter had taken some sips of the water Murphy offered him.

"See." Murphy said with a smirk. "We all love you."

It made Clarke chuckle slightly while she reached for a rag that was resting in a water bowl and gently dipped down on Peter's face.

"Thank you." she said as he eyes shifted from Murphy to Peter. "Both of you."

It really meant a lot to her, more than they might think. Clarke then quickly realized that if she stayed here any longer she wouldn't be able to contain her emotions anymore. It had been a long day and for the first time she realized she needed some time alone.

"Could you take over from me here, I just… I need some time alone." she asked Murphy.

Murphy pulled the piece of cloth from her hands and nodded. He had no medical knowledge at all but did not seem to worry about it.

"Sure thing Griffin, having people drink water and patting their injuries with wet pieces of cloth, how hard can it be." he said smiling. Clarke managed to pull up a smile herself but didn't make any intention to leave yet, he shooed her away. "Off you go now, I'll shout if I need any help."

And she knew Niylah was sitting just outside. So yes he would be alright in here. She gave Peter a gentle smile before leaving and offered the same smile to Niylah who was keeping her hands warm by the campfire. The tradeswoman returned the smile and then Clarke made her way to the tent she knew had been setup for her.

That was the intention anyway. But her mind seemed to have other plans when she suddenly realized that the tent that became visible in the distance was not her own, but that of the Commander.

* * *

She sat there staring blankly at the reports that were scattered across the table before her. Lexa had read them four times over so far, taking in every word, every important detail. But more importantly it was keeping her mind from lingering on the feeling that was coursing through her; guilt. Guilt and rage is all she felt right now. How could she have been so naive to not suspect that the shipments had been tampered with, to simply believe what her eyes had shown her, and send them on their way to Arkadia.

A Commander should be prepared for anything, words Anya had drilled in to her head more times than she could count. And yet it clearly hadn't been enough, in a moment of terrible judgement she never considered that false bottoms were concealing the bombs. Her enemy had anticipated this move from her and that she would still ensure the shipment made it to Arkadia, Lexa should have thought of the scenario.

Skaikru may not have been of her people, but hundreds of people had still died and she felt responsible for them. She felt the weight of their deaths, the deaths of innocents, on her shoulders. Tyler no longer has a father, Octavia no longer has a brother and many others have lost a parent, sibling, child or friend and it was her fault, she was to blame. Worst of it all, once the fighting had ended and reinforcements secured the area several Skaikru had come to her to express their gratitude. Just random people she had never seen or spoken to before. They came to her to offer their thanks for saving their lives. She couldn't help but wonder if they would still be as grateful if they knew of her catastrophic lapse in judgement that resulted in the destruction of their home. She didn't make or plant the bombs but she may as well have.

She shook her head trying to clear her thoughts, she forced herself to continue reading the scout reports but the guilt remained prevalent in her mind. Lexa scanned the first report, one that had actually been brought to her a few moments ago. After the reinforcements arrived a cloud of smoke appeared in the distance and judging from the direction of it, Lexa assumed it was coming from Mount Weather and her worries immediately switched to Indra, who was supposed to investigate it.

She had sent out scouts to investigate, this report was a first update to tell her the Mountain had been completely destroyed and they had found several bodies outside of it, but there was no sign of Indra. Lexa had ordered the scout to return to TonDC to gather a search party, to go to nearby villagers for healers and search for survivors. She'd made a mental note to interrogate Emerson about the mountain once she is back in TonDC. It was highly unlikely that he was not responsible for what happened there. Now that both the mountain and Arkadia were destroyed there was no tek left for Skaikru to use, she couldn't help but think that had been an objective for Emerson, if not coerced to do so by Nia.

A sudden ruffling sound from behind interrupted her thoughts. She turned around expecting to see either Anya or Kensi walking in, but was caught by surprise when she was greeted by a set of familiar blue eyes and blonde hair. Lexa's lips parted to say something but she didn't know what as Clarke remained at the entrance, the sadness in her eyes was evident.

Lexa was close to asking what she was still doing up, but after what happened it was not surprising that sleep would be the last thing on her mind. She'd been stuck inside the healer's tent ever since her mother and Kane had been taken in there, there was no doubt that someone had to tell her to get some rest otherwise she wouldn't have left and would still be there.

"Clarke?"

It was about all she managed to say, still surprised by the fact the blonde was standing just inside her tent. Clarke managed to form a slight smile.

"I uhm… I saw light still coming from your tent and I guess I just… made my way over here." she said.

Lexa offered an understanding nod.

"I could not sleep, there is much to do still." she said, glancing at the scout report she just been reading.

Clarke took a few steps forward. "Any news?" she asked, no doubt wanting her mind distracted as much as Lexa did.

"The cloud of smoke we spotted earlier, it was indeed from Mount Weather, there were some casualties. Indra and a few others are unaccounted for." This wasn't actually much of a distraction as the conversation would lead them back to Emerson, but it was too late to take back her words now.

Clarke sighed. "Emerson's doing, no doubt. Indra is strong, I'm sure she's fine" the blonde tried to reassure her.

Lexa wasn't too worried about this, the older woman is experienced and resourceful, the Commander had confidence she would turn up eventually, but there was still slight concern for the possibility that she was wrong. If it came to be and Indra has unfortunately died, it would not only be a blow to Lexa and her people, but it would be even more bad news for Octavia, who had grown quite attached to her mentor.

"I believe so too, Clarke. But I will still have words with Emerson once we are back in TonDC."

Clarke slowly walked forward, her eyes now on the scout reports, scanning through them. Lexa didn't mind. There was nothing on the table that she thought Clarke shouldn't read. She would let her read just about all the reports she gets back, though there would be a few exceptions.

"So what will you do with him?" the Sky Girl wondered.

Lexa tilted her head in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Once you've talked to him and he's no longer of use, what will you do to Emerson, will he die by a thousand cuts, like Colioh?"

Lexa then realized that Clarke assumed that as Commander, she was going to decide Emerson's fate.

"That will not be up to me, Clarke. It is you, who will be the one to decide his fate"

Clarke's eyes widened in shock. "What?"

"He is responsible for the death of your people. Only thirty four remain. His crimes are grave, and unforgivable, the leader of the people who have suffered it, is allowed to determine his punishment."

Clarke immediately shook her head. "Lexa, I am not the leader of my people. Besides, your people have suffered from the Mountain Men more than we have, we have no right to decide his punishment."

"No." Lexa just said.

"No?"

"No. The score with the Mountain Men was settled when you killed them all. All except Emerson. It was Emerson who was set on revenge for the death of his people. Your people, of who my people see Wanheda as their leader and I agree on that. Skaikru has gone through an event that has almost wiped them out, yet through all this you have shown exceptional leadership, it is only fitting that you take on the responsibility of Emerson's punishment. If your people cannot see this, if your mother cannot, then I will make them see it."

Her fingers nervously fiddled with the edges of the report she was holding as she processed Lexa's words. Lexa watched her patiently, waiting for the blonde to speak up.

"If my mother doesn't agree, it would only be because she wouldn't want me to carry the weight of such a decision."

"Your mother needs to learn that you are no longer a child to be looked after. You are wise beyond your years Clarke, a good leader. Make them see this."

Clarke eyed her suspiciously. "You are saying I should take advantage of the situation and get revenge for my people by executing Emerson."

Lexa immediately stepped forward and reached for Clarke's hands. "Not vengeance. Justice." she ensured her. "You are Wanheda, you will find the right punishment for Emerson and your people will accept this."

This wasn't about Clarke thinking she didn't have it in her to execute someone. The Commander knew that Clarke had grown over the past few months. She knew Clarke had it in her just as much as she knew that she had it in her to lead her people. This was about Clarke not being sure if she was ready to lead them. There were not many of them left but now more than ever they needed a leader to look up to, they will need Clarke and she would do anything in her power to make the beautiful woman in front of her see this.

"I… " she said, pausing shortly. "Okay. Okay I will do it, I'll decide on his punishment once we are back in TonDC."

Lexa moved one hand up to Clarke's cheek. "You are ready to lead your people, Klark, I know you are."

Clarke might have nodded, but Lexa suddenly saw her eyes fill with tears.

"My people… " she mumbled softly.

Lexa cupped her other cheek, sliding her thumb over it to remove a tear that had escaped.

"So many of them died and it's all my fault… how can I lead them when I'm to blame for so little of us to still be alive?"

Lexa shook her head. "No Clarke, no it's not your fault, you are not to blame for this. If anything I-" before she could continue Clarke interrupted her.

"But it is my fault, Lexa. I should have known he was still alive, that he was out for revenge and that he would use the Ice Nation for it."

"It wasn't your fault, Clarke." Lexa tried to ensure her as she saw more tears stream down Clarke's cheeks.

"How would you even know that, Lexa. You are a leader, you know leaders should always be prepared for anything."

Lexa sighed and let go of Clarke's face, lowering her head in shame. "I do know, Clarke. That is why I am to blame for this, not you." she said softly.

Silence fell over them and Lexa could feel Clarke looking at her, but the brunette found herself unable to look at Clarke. It didn't take long though for Clarke to leave her without a choice as she felt her delicate fingers below her chin and moved her head up, forcing her to look into those beautiful blue eyes that were still leaking tears.

"Don't you even think for a second that you are to blame for this, Lexa." she said.

"I had the shipment delivered to Arkadia, Clarke." she argued.

"No. Don't even think that. No one could have known about the double bottoms, not one of your people or mine would expect you to have known this. We were outplayed Lexa, there was absolutely nothing we could have done. No one blames you for this, so please don't torture yourself by putting the blame on yourself."

Clarke always had this look in her eyes when she was being protective. Not necessarily towards Lexa, but towards others as well. Her eyes would widen slightly and her lips pressed together in her attempt to ensure the receiving party that everything would be alright. It amazed Lexa that she managed to read the blonde so well after only knowing each other a few months.

Anya had been telling her the same thing. She too said it was not her fault and that Skaikru would never blame her for this. Funnily enough, she'd said that Clarke would most likely also blame herself. A not too outlandish prediction, Lexa knew this too. Just as much as she knew that Clarke shouldn't put the blame on herself. And as much as she had been telling herself the same, she had trouble convincing herself, up until this very moment, where she realized they were both being foolish and it was of no help to their people to doubt themselves. Only two people were to blame for what happened here and in a smaller extent at the mountain and those people were Nia and Emerson.

Emerson would be dealt with soon enough and Lexa will do everything in her power to ensure that Nia suffers the same fate. Lexa searched for Clarke's hand and linked their fingers together, while her other hand was placed gently on Clarke's cheek.

"Then you also are not allowed to blame yourself, Clarke. The words you speak are for me as well as yourself. It is only Emerson and Nia who are to blame for this. We do ourselves no favor by putting the blame upon ourselves while your people are grateful for what we have done for them."

She saw Clarke's lips part, ready to argue with Lexa, but quickly close again as the blonde took a deep breath. Her eyes closed and as Lexa watched them open a new wave of tears ran down her cheeks.

"You're right. I'm s-sorry, but I miss them so much. And when I saw Bellamy, what Ontari did to him, I… " Lexa saw her lips tremble and instantly knew that the blonde was mere moments away from finally giving in to her grief. "He… he was my friend, Lexa. Octavia's brother… I… "

Lexa didn't hesitate and wrapped her arms around Clarke, pulling her closer and letting the blonde bury her face in the crook of her neck. Clarke continued her sobbing, breaking down the walls she had kept up for her people. But here, Lexa knew, here she could let go. The two of them just together, no prying eyes. Here they could just be each other and let go of whatever was weighing them down.

First she had managed let go of the guilt and now Clarke can let go of her grief. Even leaders needed moments like this, hidden away in their moment of privacy to finally let go of what had been stirring inside.

"My friends. My people." Clarke managed to say through her sobbing. "Elders, children."

Lexa pulled her even closer into her embrace. She knew the pain Clarke was feeling. Lexa had lost many of her people during the countless wars she had to fight before the Coalition had finally been formed. It hurt, a lot. It creates a hole in your heart that can never be healed. It will give you nightmares for months, maybe years to come, like your own mind torturing you, reminding you of what once was. Lexa knew Clarke had already experienced this with the events in the mountain. But this made it ten times worse. There were hundreds of her people, and now there were only a few dozen.

It must hurt, it must be an indescribable pain and Lexa felt for Clarke. If she could she would take the pain away and carry it all by herself. Lexa didn't mind, she already had carried the pain of so many on her shoulders, she'd do it for Clarke in a heartbeat.

"They're all gone, Lexa." Clarke's words were cut off constantly through her sobbing and crying. "B-Bellamy, Jasper, Jackson."

"Ai get em in, Klark." Lexa said, she moved her hand to the back of Clarke's head and gently pushed it further into the crook of her neck. "It is ok now, to mourn the loss of your people, let it go… "

And she did, Clarke held on tight, fingers digging into Lexa's skin and the Commander felt the tears floating from Clarke's eyes into her neck. They stayed like this for a long time, Lexa had no exact idea of the time that had passed but she knew Clarke needed to rest, a long day was ahead of them. Tomorrow they would take over the search for Arkadia survivors, it would be unreasonably harsh to have the ones searching throughout the night continue through the next day too. Pyres had to be built and she expected Raven, Octavia and Nyc to arrive tomorrow. With Octavia still unaware of the death of her brother she had a feeling Clarke wanted to take it upon herself to deliver the news.

"Clarke, you should get some sleep."

Lexa didn't make a move to pull her away, allowing for Clarke to make the first move in this. Not completely surprising, she held on even tighter and shook her head.

"I need you, Lexa." she said softly.

It was Clarke's way of saying she didn't want to go, she didn't want to leave Lexa's tent. But she had to, this time they had a lot more eyes on them, Lexa's own people as well as Clarke's. Spending the night here would probably raise all kinds of questions the moment they came walking out of this tent tomorrow. There was no other option for Clarke then to leave and go back.

"I know, Clarke." she said softly into her ears while running a hand through her beautiful blonde locks.

And how Lexa wished she could stay. Wished she could take care of the girl she loved tonight. Rid her of the blood stained clothes, all the reminders of the past day. Then take her to bed and hold her tight, to comfort her until she fell into a much needed slumber. And then watch over her, stay awake and console her should any nightmares disturb her sleep. She shouldn't, she really shouldn't.

"Clarke." she called out to the blonde.

"Lexa?"

But for once, Lexa listened to her heart and not her head.

"Stay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, Lexa doesn't always think with her head. :)  
> Thank you for reading and I love to know what you thought of the chapter. 
> 
> Translations:
> 
> faya en Kik thru - Fire and Survival  
> loufa - spy  
> Set yu daun o wan op - surrender or die  
> strikon - little one  
> Ai get em in - I know


	14. Ogeda en Yuj

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after the attack.   
> Ontari.   
> An argument between two friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I guess I am posting this chapter sooner than I thought. There is a reason behind it actually. This chapter was a lot longer and becoming too long even for my liking. So I decided to cut it in half. As a result chapter 14 is a little bit shorter than the chapters I have been posting lately, but it also means that I already have a portion of chapter 15 written, so I hope it will not be too long before I can post that as well.
> 
> Before you start reading, thank you for the support you have shown so far, it really keeps me motivated to continue writing.
> 
> And just a friendly reminder that now that Arkadia is destroyed, it doesn't mean that this story has stopped being dark. Just so you know. ;)

A charred scent lingered in the air from Arkadia's destruction. Darkness still loomed over the area; the sun had yet to rise when Lexa pulled her from a nightmare. Only a smattering of camp fires gave light to the area. She had heard a faint voice calling her name but it wasn't enough to pull her from the nightmare, Lexa began to gently shake her and eventually it was enough for Clarke to bolt upright. Now sat up and staring ahead, she breathed heavily as sweat ran down her body.

"Breathe, Clarke."

Lexa was right beside her, one arm wrapped around her waist and the other gently brushing through her hair. She did as Lexa told her, eyes closed and doing her best to take deep and slow breaths. The comforting hands of the brunette were definitely helping her through it. She remembered the days when she was alone in the woods and would wake from a nightmare, it sometimes took her a long time to recover from it. There even had been a few days where she stayed inside the cave she slept in, not daring to leave it.

But now she had Lexa by her side. Her Lexa, who was not showing a single hint of the Commander as she soothed Clarke and whispered soft and caring words into her ears. If only her people knew how kind and caring Lexa could be, how there was more to this young woman than just the ruthless and fearless leader that she had to be for her people.

"You're safe, Klark, you're safe." she heard Lexa whisper softly in her ear.

Instincts took over and Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa's waist, holding her tightly and refusing to let go. She had no idea how long Lexa let her stay like this but her breathing had slowed and the panic from the nightmare has settled down. Not long after, Lexa called out her name.

"Klark, hodness." she said softly and pulled away so that she could cradle Clarke's cheeks. "The nightmare is gone, you are safe."

"I know." Clarke said, wiping a hand through her tear stained eyes.

"Would you-"

"No."

"Okay."

No Clarke did not want to talk about it and she was glad that Lexa respected her wishes and did not ask further about the nightmares. Not right now anyway, she knew Lexa well enough to know that if the nightmares don't go away, someday she will confront her about it. And Clarke after what happened yesterday, the nightmares won't be going away anytime soon.

"It is still early, you should go back to sleep, Clarke." Lexa said.

Clarke took a deep breath. "I don't think I can." she said.

Lexa hummed at her words, understanding that she couldn't get back to sleep. With the nightmare behind her, she took a good look at the brunette. She looked tired, bags were under her eyes and she looked a bit pale.

"Lexa, have you slept at all?" she wondered.

"It doesn't matter if I have." Lexa answered.

"Lexa!" Clarke's tone had a hint of disapproval in it.

But her disapproval was ignored completely by the Commander, who leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"I am fine, Klark." she said. "I have gone days without sleep before."

Clarke shook her head in disbelief. "Lexa you need to sleep, there is so much to do for you. Not just for what happened yesterday but also for the coalition. You can't just skip a night of sleep for my sake." she said.

Lexa kissed her forehead again, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "You are important, you needed rest." she said softly.

"We both did." Clarke countered.

"I am fine."

Clarke rolled her eyes. "No you're not, you need your sleep just as much as I do."

"Clarke, really, I am-"

"Say you're fine one more time Lexa and I swear to God." Clarke knew there was annoyance in her voice. The last thing she wanted to do right now was argue with Lexa. "You need to sleep as much as I do, we are on the brink of war, you'd be no good to your people if you're tired. A tired mind can't think as clearly as a rested mind so don't you go saying to me that you are fine."

Lexa finally gave in.

"Very well, Clarke. Tonight I promise we will both sleep."

Clarke slightly smirked. "Good, I will hold you to it." she said.

The blonde kissed Lexa on the cheek and then stepped out of bed, she wanted to get dressed and check up on her mother and Kane but realized she couldn't put her blood stained clothes back on. It seemed Lexa was already one step ahead of her and walked to her with clean clothes.

"Wear these, Clarke, they are mine."

The Skygirl gladly took them and a few minutes later she was fully dressed, surprised the clothes fitted well enough as Lexa was a bit slimmer than she was. Lexa was dressed in her full Commander regalia, the red sash hanging over her shoulder but no warpaint on her face.

"You are going to see your mother?" Lexa asked her.

"I am." Clarke replied.

The Commander nodded. "I will see to the rescue mission and the pyres. Your people will be given a proper sending off." she said.

"Some of your people were at Arkadia too when it exploded." Clarke said, just barely audible to Lexa.

The Commander swallowed away a lump in her throat. "There were. Pieces of your Ark will be among the pyres, that way the spirits of those whose bodies could not be recovered will still be allowed peace. Severna and Jaret will be there as well, their bodies should arrive with the convoy later today."

"Is that the one that Raven and Octavia will arrive with?" Clarke wondered.

"It is, yes. Would you like me to have you informed once it has arrived?"

"Yes, I want to tell Octavia what happened to her brother as soon as she arrives." Clarke answered.

She didn't want to risk anyone else telling her what happened to him, she wanted to tell Octavia herself although Clarke didn't even know where to begin. She just hoped Lincoln would be there with her, which she assumed he would be. Lincoln had a little bit of medical knowledge and with Octavia still injured he probably wouldn't want to leave her side.

She still couldn't believe he was really gone, that so many of her people were gone. She wanted to feel guilty again for what happened to them, but she made a promise with Lexa last night and she intends to keep it. This was all Emerson's doing. Emerson and Nia and Clarke will do whatever it takes to get justice for her people. For Bellamy, for Jasper and Jackson, for all of them.

"Difficult times await Octavia." Lexa's voice pulled Clarke's thoughts back to reality.

"She is the only one of our people who has a sibling, I can't even begin to think what it would feel like to lose a brother or a sister and now with Indra also missing-"

"Indra will be fine, have faith in her."

Clarke almost frowned at the confidence Lexa showed in this. It was as if she already knew Indra was alive, as if she knew something that Clarke didn't. Sometimes Clarke wished she was as calm and confident as Lexa was, it would have helped her in a lot of situations ever since landing on the ground.

"Come Clarke, I will accompany you to the healer's tent. I am curious as to how your mother and Kane are doing." Lexa said.

Clarke caught herself chuckling at what Lexa said. "Are you really, or do you have a soft spot for Tyler?" she joked, softly elbowing the Commander's side, finding a nice opportunity to get her mind off things.

Lexa raised her eyebrow at Clarke but it was followed by a very subtle smile on her lips. "I have no soft spot for him, Clarke, he for some reason has decided to take a liking to me, that is all." she said, trying to sound as impassive as she could.

They both left the Commander's tent with Clarke more than willing to continue her slight teasing of Lexa but she quickly stopped when her eyes fell upon Anya and Kensi. Clarke immediately felt her heart sink when Anya turned her glare to the blonde, they may be allies now but the grounder General never failed to make Clarke feel uneasy, if even only a bit. Kensi smirked at her with a curiously raised eyebrow, Clarke was all but sure she knew of her and Lexa now. Neither Lexa or Clarke said a word to the two women and just carried on walking to the medical tent, Anya and Kensi followed behind them, also not saying a word.

As they made their way inside the medical tent Clarke was greeted by a pleasant surprise when she saw Kane awake and being tended to by Niylah. Her mother was awake too, sitting upwards and smiling when their eyes met. There was no sign of Murphy anymore and both Peter and Tyler were still sleeping. Clarke caught Lexa briefly glancing at Tyler, a brief softness on her face before she slipped back into Commander mode and looked at Kane.

"Marcus Kane, it is good to see you awake." Lexa said as they both walked over to him and Lexa dipped her chin slightly.

Kane managed a quick nod, grimacing slightly as he tried to move up but Niylah wouldn't let him.

"Lie still, the injury is still severe." the tradeswoman said before respectfully lowering her head to acknowledge the arrival of her Commander.

Kane paid little attention to Niylah's instruction as he still tried to sit up a bit. "Commander, Niylah and Abby told me what your people did for us, I can't thank you enough." His voice was hoarse, but his gratefulness was clear to see.

"No need to thank me, Marcus Kane. You should listen to Niylah and rest, there is plenty of time to talk once you have recovered enough."

Clarke was sure that the talk Lexa was referring to had nothing to do with socializing and everything to do with politics. She watched how Kane nodded at her and then suddenly shift his eyes to Clarke.

"And thank you, Clarke, for saving my life." he said gratefully.

Clarke smiled at him. "Don't thank me, and you better start listening to Niylah or all my hard work would have been for nothing."

Kane gave her an apologetic look before lying down again to let Niylah continue her duties as a healer. Clarke then turned around and walked to her mother, pulling the older woman in a firm hug which Abby gladly returned.

"Good morning mom, how are you feeling?"

Clarke pulled away and looked over her mother's body, checking to make sure her injuries hadn't become infected or reopened during the night.

"I'm alright, Clarke, not showing any signs of fever, the stitches are holding, don't worry." Abby said to her.

"Chancellor." Lexa's words interrupted the short moment between mother and daughter. "It is good to see you are also doing well."

"Thank you, Commander. For everything. I know you didn't have to, as we are not of your people."

Lexa waved her off. "No need to thank me, Chancellor. We have made an Alliance." she said.

"Yes, but protecting us was not part of the Alliance we made, you had made that clear to us-"

"Mom… " Clarke's tone was calm but with a hint of warning.

How was it that everytime Lexa and her mother were in the same room they could never have a normal conversation together.

"I am sorry." Abby said, her eyes slightly widening. "I didn't mean to sound ungrateful, Commander."

Before they could continue their conversation, Clarke saw something move from the corner of her eye and as soon as her head turned she saw Lexa once again had Tyler strapped to her leg. The brunette didn't hesitate and lifted the boy in her arms.

"Hei, strikon." she said.

The young boy must have woken up from their voices and no doubt immediately left his bed to run to Lexa. Clarke had no idea how the boy had so quickly taken a liking into the Commander. Though right now with everyone here and all eyes on him, he shyly buried his head in Lexa's neck.

"Have you slept well?" Lexa asked him, he responded with a simple nod. "Good, then I will hand you over to Clarke so she can do a few more checks on you, okay?"

There really was no need for Clarke to check up on him again, she had already done so a few times last night and Tyler was really only exhausted and slightly traumatized from the events and the loss of his father, physically he was fine. Clarke could only conclude that in his traumatized state he had clung to Lexa because she was the first person he saw after the death of his father.

Lexa walked around Abby's bed to hand Tyler over to Clarke, surprisingly enough the boy didn't seem to mind and as soon as Clarke had him in her arms he clung to her just as tightly as he did to Lexa.

"It is time for me to attend to my duties, I will inform you when Octavia has arrived, Clarke."

"Thank you, Commander." Clarke said and watched Lexa leave the tent with Kensi and Anya right behind her.

Clarke walked back to Tyler's bed and gently placed him down.

"Clarke, why do you call her Commander? Is that her name?" Tyler asked her.

His question made her chuckle a bit. She realized that in all the commotion from yesterday the young boy still has no idea who Lexa exactly is or what her actual name is.

"No, that is not her name Tyler. It is her title. She is the leader of her people and because she is their leader we have to address her respectfully." she explained as she moved a wet piece of cloth over his face.

"Do I have to call her that?" Tyler wondered.

"Yes, we all do." she said with a smile. "Or you can call her Heda."

"Heda?" he frowned at her words.

"Yes. Heda. It means Commander in their language, do you think you can remember that?" she asked him as she teasingly dipped the piece of cloth against his nose.

It made him chuckle a bit but he nodded. "I can."

"Good." Clarke put the piece of cloth away and waved Niylah over to her. "Now I need you to do something for me."

He nodded shyly as Niylah stepped next to them, a questionable look on her face.

"I need you to go with Niylah, so that she can take you to Harper and Monroe. They are with the other children who have survived."

She could already feel Tyler was starting to panic, knowing he would not be with Clarke or Lexa for a while. His body stiffened at the realization and he shook his head frantically. Clarke gently placed her hands on his shoulders but gave him a stern look.

"Tyler, honey. You cannot stay here. The Commander and I have our duties to attend to."

"I can stay here, I can help you, or the Commander. Please don't make me." he begged her.

Clarke closed her eyes for a second, taking a deep breath and shaking her head at him once more. "No, Tyler. You can't stay with us, but how about this." she said and sat down beside him. "If you go with Niylah and let her take you to the other children, you can help them. And if I heard from Monroe or Harper that you have behaved well all day, I will make sure that the Commander and I will come and visit you later today, okay?"

He thought over Clarke's promise, his eyes carefully studying Niylah, not sure yet if he was willing to trust Clarke's words.

"She will not hurt you, Tyler. Niylah is of the Commander's people, she has saved my mother and Marcus over there."

A deep sigh escaped his lips when he finally nodded. "OKay. Will you and the Commander really come visit me?" he asked.

"I promise we will." Clarke answered and she would move mountains to make sure she keeps that promise, she didn't want to lose the boy's trust.

Niylah held her hand out to Tyler, he hesitated for a few seconds before jumping off the bed and grabbing hold. Clarke stood up as well, placing a gentle hand on Niylah's shoulder.

"Get some rest once you dropped him off, I'll be fine here and Nyko should be here soon as well." she said.

"I will, thank you Clarke." she said and then smiled at Tyler. "Come, skat, let's go see the other children."

Clarke felt relief flood over her body when she watched Tyler and Niylah leave. She was glad she managed to convince the boy to go with Niylah, the medical tent was no place to be for him. She turned to her mother, who smiled at her.

"I am so proud of you Clarke." the older woman said.

Clarke offered a smile in return, but didn't say anything as she walked over to her mother.

"I have fought against you, against what you were becoming. I fought it so hard, refusing to let my little girl grow up."

Her mother's lips started to tremble and a tear escaped her eyes. Clarke reached for her mother's hand, holding it tightly.

"And I'm so sorry for what I did, for your father-"

Clarke stopped her mother before she could finish her sentence. She knew where this conversation was going and Clarke wasn't sure she was ready for it yet, but when was it ever the right time to talk about it. Things were different now from the time she actually found out what her mother had done, Clarke had grown greatly as a person.

"Mom, I know you are." the blonde started. "I know you were just trying to do what you thought was right and because of it dad died. If you are trying to ask me for forgiveness, I don't think I can give it, not yet at least. But if there is one thing I know, it's that dad wouldn't want us to live at odds, he would want us both to be happy. And I want us to be happy too, which feels wrong to say after what happened yesterday. But I think we will be alright, mom. Just give it time, okay?"

More tears escaped her mother's eyes but her eyes at least looked hopeful. "Okay, Clarke. I love you so much." she said.

"And I love you too, mom. I'll just go outside and find the two of you some food, I'll be right back."

She saw her mother nod and their hands unclasp. She was glad they had this talk, but sad that the circumstances had forced them into it. Had Arkadia not been destroyed she wondered if her mother had already been this open to her, but she shouldn't think of what could have happened. This was the present and Arkadia was no more. They had gone through a terrible loss and everyone would need time to process it.

But Clarke knew she was right, in time they would be alright and in time Clarke will figure out how she would get her people a new home. But for that to happen, she first had to deal with Emerson and then make sure that Lexa would get her coalition back and Clarke would do whatever it takes to help Lexa achieve this.

* * *

Begging and apologizing. Those are weaknesses Ontari hates and yet Nia was trying to force her into doing both. Because she knew, she knew Ontari loathed it and Ontari knew it would give her great pleasure once she gave in. Not if, but once she did because Queen Nia always gets what she wants, one way or another.

Arriving back in Polis without Wanheda, Skaikru not completely wiped out and without the head of the last Mountain man meant that Ontari had failed three out of the four objectives the Queen had given her. The Azripa had never before failed a mission of this importance and the Queen was making sure that she would never forget it.

So here she was, in the throne room, forced to her knees with Nia's most trusted guard delivering punches at his Queen's command. Because that is what Toba does, whatever his Queen asks of him and he had done ever since he joined her Queensguard, just like the loyal lapdog he was. But who was she kidding, she was almost the same. Ontari too did what her Queen ordered of her, but the difference is that one day Nia will live to see the the tides turn. One day Ontari would expose her for the fraud she is and ensure her death will be anything but swift. Until then, she would be the same lapdog that Toba is. Until then, she will take whatever punishment the Queen gives her for failing her mission.

It wasn't the physicality of Toba's punches that pained Ontari, and the Queen knew this. It was the inner pain of the humiliation she was suffering. The throne room was occupied with warriors under her command, warriors that would serve her to their deaths but just like Toro they answer to Nia, all they can do right now is watch Ontari take the punishment for her failures.

To make the situation worse for her, the leaders of the clans loyal to the Ice Nation were also present to witness her humiliation. Desert Clan, Glowing Forest, Blue Cliff, all of them. They watched, some even showing delight with every hit Ontari took.

"You are my tool." Ontari grimaced at how the Queen reminded her of how little she thought of Ontari. "A weapon I crafted myself so that you will do what I command of you, are you not?"

Every word she spoke there was true and Ontari could not deny this. "Yes, my Queen." she said obediently.

"Have I not done everything for you, raised you like you are my own?"

_You killed my family and saw me as nothing more than a trophy_. "Yes, my Queen, I am yours to Command." she replied.

"Yet you return to me empty handed. No head of the last remaining Mountain Man, no Wanheda, not even all of her people are dead. That is twice now in a short time that you have failed me, perhaps you are not my obedient lapdog but a fool, a fraud who cannot even follow simple orders given to her by her Queen."

The Queen's words were followed up by a single nod and moments later Toba's fist connected with her jaw again. Ontari didn't even register the pain, she was still processing the insulting words and as she chose to remain silent the Queen spoke up again.

"What are you, Ontari?" she asked. Ontari knew there was no other option but to answer.

_One day I will be your end_. "I am a fool, my Queen." she immediately responded.

But the mistake she made in this was not looking at Nia when she said it, as a result Toba's fingers wrapped around her hair and forced her to look at the Queen.

"A fool and disrespectful." Nia said. "Say it!" she shouted towards the Azripa.

Ontari swallowed deeply, wanting nothing more than to spit on her face but she held back because she knew it would only make her current situation more dire.

"I am a fool and disrespectful… Queen Nia."

She knew Nia was expecting her to apologize in the end, but she couldn't, she wouldn't. She will not give in this soon, Nia would only exploit it, coming up with more degrading taunts no doubt. But she knew in the end the Queen would still win and Ontari knew eventually she would give in to her own weakness.

Her eyes briefly peered left as soon as Toba let go of her hair, they found Toro and just like every time the Queen felt like humiliating her, making a show of the power she held over her own people, he showed no emotion. His face was blank but his eyes were readable only for her and she knew he had the same thought as her, one day the Queen would be the one to kneel before her and beg for forgiveness.

"Yes you are." Nia's words made Ontari look at her again. "You are a fool, a lapdog whose only purpose is to serve her Queen, to do my every bidding. But perhaps if even that proves too difficult for your simple mind, perhaps I should replace you, have you executed for the public to see and take a child here from Polis to forge it into a new weapon, a better weapon and one who will not disobey my orders."

This was it. This was the moment where Ontari had no choice but to beg, to grovel before her and humbly ask for forgiveness and give her another chance. She should take the bait, but she didn't. Instead she did the one thing she shouldn't have, challenge her.

"You would never find someone better than me." she said, not even addressing Nia's title at the end.

Toba's hand was already reared back, ready to punch her for the disrespect she was showing, but Nia stopped him by merely calling out his name. Instead the Queen stood from her throne and slowly advanced towards her. Spine rigid and jaw in a sharp line, her intimidating manner grew with every step and Ontari did her best to hide the knot that formed in her stomach.

Nia bent down slightly and with two long, cold fingers under Ontari's chin forced her to look up. She felt her body tense up to the slightest touch from the Ice Queen. Ice Queen… the title had never felt so appropriate to her until now, her austere gaze silently screamed savagery and her touch made Ontari feel as bitter as an Azgeda winter wind.

"No better fool for addressing me like that, no."

Up until this moment, the only punishment she had ever received for the few times she had not been able to complete a mission was humiliation and torture. But as the dark words hit her like a punch in the gut, she truly believed for the first time in her life she had overstepped and had sealed her fate.

The Queen's long fingers clawed around her throat and she was whirled around, forcefully pushed back until she was pushed on her knees right next to the throne and her head inches away from one of its sharp corners, Nia's fingers still painfully digging into her skin and Ontari could hear the crowd around her mumbling here and there.

"I will not let you disrespect me like that again, Ontari." she said, her words so calm and yet so deadly.

Before she had time to comprehend her position an unimaginable pain forced her to cry out. Her head exploded and darkness was pulling her in before she realized Nia had pushed her head into a spike at the base of the throne and almost instantly pulled it out again. Her left eye had been victim of the brutal assault and Ontari could not stop screaming, not from whatever pain rushed through her but from the shock of the savagery of the assault and the realization that she had lost an eye. The onlooking warriors and clan leaders could not hold back their surprise and disgust of Nia's actions.

Ontari struggled in Nia's grasp, furiously clawing at the hand that tightly gripped her hair as blood poured down her face from her horrifically punctured eye. The shock of what Nia had done to her was slowly subsiding and the pain of the injury began to set in, she put a hand over her ruined eye and let out another almighty scream, while blurry she could see a pool of blood growing at her knees. Nia not even for a moment loosened her grip and just smiled wickedly.

"Say it! Or I will take your other eye as well!" she yelled at her.

Even through the immense pain and the haze she felt herself in, Ontari knew exactly what the Queen was asking of her, and this time, not matter how much she hated it, there was no other choice but to finally give in. She knew if she lost her other eye she would be of no use to the Ice Queen, more than likely meaning her death.

"Moba, ai kwin, beja!" she said, relief fell over her when Nia finally relinquished her grasp and her body slumped to the ground.

"Did you not once tell me begging and apologizing is weak, Ontari?"

And there it was, not only had Nia managed to make her say it, just as Ontari knew would happen, she used her own words against her, the humiliation was almost complete. Almost.

"S-sha, ai Kwin… " she stuttered, hating herself for how weak she sounded.

The realization of how weak she must have sounded at least made her aware enough to take her hand away from her eye and fight the pain while she faced her Queen. She mustered all her strength to not look weak, to stand resolute in the presence of her Queen.

"Then tell me, Ontari, why are you apologizing to me, why are you on your knees begging for my forgiveness?"

Ontari bit her teeth together, she didn't want to say it because it wasn't true. Far from it, Ontari knows she is strong. Strong and powerful and many people fear her for it, she is a force to be reckoned with. It should be Nia who should bow to her. It should be the clan leaders who should bow to her, they all should be the ones to beg and grovel before her. It is she who should be queen, it is she who should be worshipped like a God.

"Well?" Nia's voice held no anger or impatience, only smugness because she knew what was coming.

"Because I  _am_ weak, my Queen."

She snorted, she actually snorted as Nia went to sit back on her throne, legs crossed and arms elegantly leaning on the arm rests.

"Yes. A weakling, that is what you are." she said, still holding the smug look on her face. "But as you were so willing to admit that to me and beg for my forgiveness I can be generous in return and give you that what you begged me for."

A simple flick of her wrist followed and moments later Ontari saw Toro kneeling down in front of the Queen.

"Toro, take Ontari to a healer before she bleeds all over the place."

"Sha, kwin Nia." he acknowledged.

"Come back to me tomorrow morning, Ontari, and I will tell you what you can do to redeem yourself." she said, humor and victory clearly visible in her voice.

"Yes, my Queen, I am grateful for being given a second chance." she said and knew if she hadn't she'd regret it, again.

The Queen said nothing and just told Toro to take her away. Ontari let him guide her out of the throne room, the Queen's laughter echoing through her head as he did. The humiliation was now complete and Ontari knew there was only one reason why she was still alive. Nia had won, again. She had managed to tame Ontari and victory was hers once more. For Nia this was ten times more satisfying than having Ontari executed. Nia held the strings, she was in control of her and there was nothing the Azripa could do about it.

Tomorrow when she returns to Queen Nia she will be given new orders and she will obey them like the tool that she is to Nia. For now she had learned her lesson and she will be that what Nia expects her to be; a lapdog to be used as she sees fit. But one day, one day Nia will wish that she had killed her. One day Ontari will be the one who has Nia begging on her knees, she is sure of it.

* * *

As quickly as she could, as quickly as her aching body would allow her Clarke hurried through the camp praying she wasn't too late, that the news had not already been conveyed to Octavia. Lexa had kept true to her word and sent someone to Clarke upon Octavia and Raven's arrival. That was more than half an hour ago and there was a good reason she did not come to meet the girl right away. The moment she was set to leave rescue workers came running in with the unconscious body of no other than Jacapo Sinclair. He was in critical condition, leaving Clarke no other choice but with her mother's instructions and Niylah's assistance to tend to Sinclair until he was stable.

So now she found herself in a hurry to meet with Octavia, having told the messenger Lexa had sent to bring them to her tent where she would meet them as quickly as possible. But as Clarke hurried inside, she found that it was empty. She cursed quietly hoping that Octavia hadn't already find out what happened to her brother. But after having to wait for over an hour, Clarke had a feeling that she was too late.

That feeling was confirmed when she reached a corner of the camp setup for the survivors. Octavia's cries echoed through her head when Clarke found the tent it was coming from. As soon as she arrived she saw Miller and Monroe standing outside and Murphy just came walking out, hand rubbing the back of his neck, eyes squinting together as Octavia's screams kept going. He was startled slightly, with an apologetic look in his eyes.

"Look I'm sorry Clarke, we tried to have her wait but she kept asking for Bellamy, we couldn't hold her back any longer." he explained.

None of them told Clarke who gave Octavia the news about her brother, but to Clarke it didn't matter. It would have been best if the words came from her but Sinclair's life had priority, something Octavia would understand eventually, she hoped.

"It's okay, Murphy, I couldn't leave sooner, rescue workers brought in a survivor in critical condition." she explained as more movement came from the tent and she found herself looking at Harper and Monty.

"Sorry, Clarke." they both muttered softly but she just offered them an understanding nod.

"I should go inside, you guys okay?"

"Just a bit shaken, but we will be." Harper replied.

Clarke offered them a gentle smile before stepping inside. Her eyes landed on Octavia's back. The young woman was wrapped tightly in Lincoln's strong arms as he did his best to comfort her. His eyes softened slightly when he spotted Clarke, his hold on Octavia not wavering. Clarke's eyes then shifted to her left, where Raven was standing, tears also running down her cheeks and Nyc's comforting hand on her shoulder.

What surprised her though was the moment Raven spotted her, she jumped up and limped towards Clarke until she found herself being tightly pulled into a hug, taken by surprise Clarke's body stiffened shortly before she returned the hug.

"I'm sorry, Raven." she whispered softly, noticing tears filling her eyes.

"Don't be, none of this is your fault, okay?" the brunette said as she pulled away and looked Clarke in the eyes.

Clarke nodded, wiping dry her eyes. "Yeah, yeah I know." she said.

And she did know, she already had this conversation with Lexa, but she still felt it was necessary to apologize to Raven. What the two of them had to go through together with Emerson was no small matter and Clarke really was sorry for Raven having to go through that. But Raven is strong, she would be fine in time, just like Clarke.

"As soon as we saw what was left of the Ark, she started asking for Bellamy. We were told you would come see us as quickly as possible, but you know… "

Clarke sighed. "It's okay, I understand." she said.

They both looked at Octavia, who was still slumped in Lincoln's arms, her cries had stopped but she was still sobbing and Clarke figured it was best to leave the two of them alone.

"Come on, let's go outside, give them some privacy."

She shared a look with Lincoln one last time before they headed outside where Murphy, Miller, Monroe, Monty and Harper were in light conversation with each other. Clarke immediately turned to all of them.

"Guys." she started and instantly had their attention. "I can't even begin to describe what happened yesterday, what we all went through, no matter where we were at the moment of the attack. We have lost so much." she turned to Monty. "Jasper, I know how much he meant to you."

Monty nodded in appreciation. "He is at peace now, I take solace in that." he said, a slight tremble in his voice.

"It's just us now, we went from a few hundred to a few dozen people. But we will get through this okay, I am here for you guys, if you want to talk, if something is on your mind, please come see me, no matter the time. I want you guys to know that I will do everything I can to help us get through this, to help us find a new place on the ground. But in order to do that the Commander will need her coalition back, she needs peace, we need peace and I will help her achieve that, are you guys with me?"

It was Raven's hand who landed on her shoulder. "Always." the brunette said as she stretched out her hand.

Clarke acted immediately; grabbing Raven's forearm and feeling the young mechanic mirror her actions . The rest of the group followed instantly and all placed their hands on top of them.

At that moment Octavia came walking outside, probably having heard Clarke's speech. Her eyes all puffy and red, cheeks wet from the tears as she didn't hesitate to join them, Lincoln stood next to Nyc, wanting to give the Sky People their moment.

"We are what is left of the hundred." Clarke started. "What happened yesterday, it's indescribable. But we can't change what happened, it's us now. Our people need us and we will not let people like Emerson or Nia bring us down. If anything this has only made us stronger, Emerson will soon meet his end and Nia will follow eventually. Together, we make change."

"Together." they all exclaimed.

"Together." Clarke finalized, meeting their eyes one by one before before they all stepped away.

Monty and Harper shared a hug, the rest of the group fell into light conversation as Clarke turned to Octavia and pulled her into a hug that Octavia returned, wrapping her arms tightly around her.

"I am going to miss him so much, Clarke." she said as Clarke noticed tears falling down her cheek again.

"I know, I will too." she replied.

"Did he… " Octavia pulled away. "How did it happen?"

Clarke swallowed deeply, not wanting to upset her friend even more.

"He died like a hero, protecting our people." she replied as best as she could.

She could tell that Octavia was on to her, that she was not sharing the whole truth and although what Clarke said wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the entire story from which she wanted to protect the younger girl. If they were going to talk about this, she figured it would be best to do so in private, not for everyone to hear so she spoke up before Octavia could.

"Let's go inside, Octavia." she said and also nodded at Lincoln. "Go with her, I will be right there, just have something to tell Raven, couple of minutes, okay?"

It was slightly surprising that Octavia agreed with this and let Lincoln guide her back into the tent. Clarke turned to Raven, who looked at her curiously.

"I actually have some news for you, Raven, but I didn't want to tell you with Octavia there." she said and was met with a frown before she continued. "The reason I was late because rescue workers brought in a survivor, it took us a while to get him stable but he will live."

"Who?" she asked.

"Sinclair." Clarke replied.

Her eyes lit up but quickly softened, not wanting to sound too excited while Octavia is inside there mourning the loss of her brother.

"Can I go see him?" she asked.

"You can, but he's been sedated so it will be a while before he wakes up."

Raven nodded. "Thanks, Clarke."

Clarke offered a small smile and nodded in return. "Anytime." she said.

And she meant it. It felt strange how there had been a shift in their friendship. And it felt wrong that a catastrophic event had been the cause of it. But it is what it is and neither women could change it. In the end this was a lot better than still being at odds with each other. Raven walked away with Nyc accompanying her. There was definitely something going on with those two; Clarke made a mental note to ask Raven about this at a more appropriate time.

She took a deep breath before walking inside the tent and found Octavia leaned back against a few crates with Lincoln's arm wrapped around her waist. Her eyes immediately went to Clarke, ready for an explanation.

"What aren't you telling me, Clarke?" she asked before Clarke could get a word out.

"Octavia." Clarke said softly.

But she shook her head. "No, I need to know Clarke." she said demandingly.

"I told you the truth." she countered.

"Not the whole truth. Please, I need closure." she said somewhat desperately. "I know you are trying to protect me from it, that what happened to him isn't pretty and you think I can't handle it. But you can't decide that for me, you don't have the right."

Clarke knew she was right, she couldn't deny her the truth. Clarke wasn't the only one who had grown over the months they have been on the ground. Octavia has as well and she has Lincoln to support her.

"Alright." Clarke said, running a hand through her hair. "You know of Ontari?"

"Yes, she lead the assault on Arkadia and also tried to kill the Commander a while back." she answered.

"Yeah, she was attacking my mother and Kane. Kane was badly injured and she was just about to kill my mom before Bellamy interfered. He fought her but… but he was no match for her. She hurt him, badly, more than necessary, my mom she… she was badly injured and could only watch, beg her to stop… but she didn't Octavia, she didn't and then-" Clarke swallowed away the lump in her throat, telling the story was not easy. Clarke had lost a good friend but Octavia had lost a brother . "She cut off his head, Octavia… his h-head… "

Clarke couldn't hold back the tears, seeing the gruesome image before her once more when she closed her eyes for a few moments. She heard Octavia's sobs as well, who was wrapped firmly around Lincoln's strong arms, doing his best to console. Clarke wiped her own tears away, doing her best to get the image of Bellamy's mutilated and headless body out of her head. But she let Octavia cry, gave her the time she needed to work through the horrible facts of her brother's death.

Once she finally recovered there was a newfound determination on her face, and somehow Clarke immediately knew what was on her mind.

"I need to see him." she said but Clarke instantly shook her head.

"No, don't do that to yourself, Octavia. Keep your memory of how you knew him, not how he died. Trust me on this." she pleaded.

"I have to see him, Clarke, I… we fought when we last spoke, I need closure."

Clarke took a shaky breath. "The last thing I want to do is deny you this, so I won't. But I will tell you that you will not get closure by seeing his body, seeing how he shouldn't be remembered. Just promise me you will think about it, talk about it with Lincoln before you make any decision. Please?" she asked with pleading, tear stained eyes.

Octavia gave Lincoln a quick look who gave her a subtle nod in return. The young woman swallowed deeply, wiping away a few tears and then looking back up at Clarke.

"Okay, I promise."

* * *

"To think that I was once set on killing them all and now we are here, helping them looking for survivors after they were almost wiped out."

Lexa processed Anya's words and could do nothing but agree with her former mentor. Back then Lexa wanted nothing else but for these invaders to die but now she was responsible for ensuring that they survived. It was a strange feeling but she was also glad that they never succeeded in the first place. The last few months had been far from smooth sailing, but if things hadn't gone the way they did then more than likely she would not be together with Clarke. So right now she did not regret almost every decision she had made up to this point.

Except that last one, ensuring the last shipment made it to Arkadia. She found it difficult to suppress the guilt she felt about the outcome but she made a promise to Clarke and she would keep it. It also warmed her heart that besides finding a man Skaikru knew as Sinclair, two more survivors had just been found. The two women watched on as rescuers brought them to the healers, it was a man and a woman. The man surprisingly looked relatively unharmed but the woman was in a bad way, her leg was severely injured, it would be a miracle if she didn't lose it.

Difficult times await this couple, but they looked young and if they survived the destruction of Arkadia she was certain they would pull through the time ahead as well. Even now while the woman was being carried away on a stretcher the man walked at her side as he held her hand. It warmed her heart and made her think of the woman she loves of how she was grateful to the spirits that Clarke was still alive.

"With those two and the man we found earlier today Skaikru now have thirty seven people left." Anya's voice pulled her from her thoughts.

"The time ahead of them will be challenging and difficult, but with Clarke's guidance they will get through it." she said.

"Does she know that if Nia had attacked with her army we would not have been able to assist?" Anya questioned her.

Lexa answered with a single nod. "We did not talk about it, but she knows. With Emerson destroying Arkadia, there never was any need for Nia to send her full army. And we as well did not come to their defense with a full army, TonDC was never in danger."

But she knew why Anya was bringing this up.

"You worry that the remaining Clan representatives will not be happy with the support we offered to Skaikru." as they slowly started walking away from the destroyed structure.

And from the reaction on Anya's face she knew she was right. "Perhaps not all of them, Luna won't mind, nor will the Lake People as they have only recently joined us again. But Uzac and Meys might." she said.

Lexa smirked, she has been Commander long enough to know to be prepared for things like this, Clan leaders not agreeing with certain actions she takes. For example, what happened after she freed her people from the Mountain without further bloodshed. Tys had already sent her several reports about the Clan leaders in TonDC.

"Tys has been keeping me informed, Anya, but I am not telling you anything you do not already know." she said. "Uzac is indeed questioning if it was wise to support them, but when I return I will talk with him personally. He does not see how important it is to have Wanheda with us in this war, there was never another option than helping her people, only the full might of Nia's army would've changed this, Uzac will see this as well."

They continued walking, in the distance Lexa saw the pyres were almost built, it was going as scheduled and would be finished in time before tonight when the spirits of those who have fallen begin their final journey.

"I know, Heda, I did not mean to make it sound like I doubted you, you know you always have my full support." her General said but Lexa picked up on the slightest hesitation in her words, there was more on her mind.

"I know, Anya, and I trust you, so why don't you tell me what else is on your mind."

She saw Anya taking a deep breath, her former mentor did her best to avoid her gaze before speaking her mind.

"Clarke spent the night with you." she said.

Lexa shrugged, she should have seen this coming.

"She did." Lexa simply answered. "What are you getting at, Anya?"

"You know what, Lexa… " she said softly.

"No I do not!" Lexa snapped, she turned on her heels to face her former mentor and stepped towards her forcing Anya to step backwards out of sight behind some debris, away from any prying eyes. Her face now mere inches from her General's, scathing at what Anya was insinuating.

"I would really like for you to say it."

It wasn't a request, it was an order and she made sure that Anya understood that. She saw Anya swallow away the lump in her throat, carefully choosing her words before delivering them to Lexa.

"Who knows how many saw you leave, our people and theirs, if word gets to the other clan leaders, they might think you treat Clarke with favoritism and you did all this for her and not for her being Wanheda."

Lexa growled at her. "Is that what you think as well?" she asked, her voice low and filled with venom.

Anya's lips parted, but she found herself lacking words to speak. But her eyes said enough.

"Not that long ago, you said you supported me, you supported my feelings for Clarke but asked me to be cautious, which I have been until last night, perhaps." Lexa really had to do her best to keep her voice down, they were away from prying eyes here in between the debris but raising her voice might change that. "She was grieving… she's lost almost all of her people, friends who she saw as family. For years…" she paused, taking a deep breath again, trying to stay calm. "For years I have always put my people first, always. Even after Costia's head was delivered to me by Azgeda I still let them into my Alliance! Now for once, I made a decision with my heart and you doubt me?"

"Lexa-" Anya tried to protest.

"I am your Heda!" she spat at the General. "Get out of my sight."

Anya shook her head, ready to reason with her. "Heda, please. You don't-"

"Oh but I do understand." she said, her venom filled eyes staring daggers at her. "This has Lynn all over it, she spoke to you and somehow her poisonous words invaded your mind. If you take her words over mine, if you can't trust me then I cannot trust you. I do not need you at my side tonight during the commemoration, Kensi will take your place."

Lexa was sure that Anya was ready to argue back, but one final glance from the Commander had her swallowing her words and remaining silent. The General slightly bowed to her and took her leave, leaving Lexa alone between the debris. She balled her fist in anger and slammed it against the steel debris in front of her. Pain shot through her hand, making her regret her action instantly but she quickly shook off the pain as her mind drifted off to Lynn, to the elder who thinks she can control Lexa and the people around her.

"That manipulative old wrench." she cursed below her breath.

Lynn has always tried to mingle in her affairs, always tried to tell Lexa love was weakness, that she should always think with her head. Lynn had done the same when she was together with Costia, but, she knew of course with Clarke not being of her people things were different. It made her wonder if Lynn had been talking to someone else besides Anya.

"Heda?"

It was Vorgal's voice, he is on guard duty today and must have seen the two of them disappear between the debris. Only Anya walking out likely worried him and he went to check if everything was alright.

"I am fine, Vorgal, I will be right out."

"Sha, Heda." he said and she heard him walk away.

Lexa took a deep breath and pressed her lips together before she cleared her head and then walked out of the debris, Vorgal being a few meters away and nodding at her before disappearing into the treeline again. Lexa looked in the distance, her eyes landing on the area where the commemoration was to be held. The construction was still in progress, Trikru and Skaikru alike were building the pyres. She saw two of her novitiates among them, Nova and Arax. She briefly exchanged looks with Nova before the young girl went back to work. Nova, at the age of thirteen was ready to become a second and Lexa made a mental note to have her join on Kensi's patrol tonight.

The sun was setting, it would not be long now before it will start. Tonight Skaikru and Trikru can pay their respects to the friends and loved ones lost in the horrific acts of the Ice Nation and the last of the Mountain men, say their final farewells as the brave spirits begin their journey into the afterlife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Ogeda en Yuj ; Together and Strong
> 
> Name explanations:
> 
> Arax - Fairfax Virginia  
> Toba - Manitoba (Canada)


	15. Raitnes en Baman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke comes to realize the change in her life, Raven is struggling and life as it continues in TonDC.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to everyone who has supported the story so far. Especially the comments motivate me to continue writing. I guess I said in the previous chapter it wouldn't take long to post this chapter, sadly it took longer than I thought it would. I got a little bit stuck at the ending of the chapter but it's finished now. :)
> 
> Enjoy!

Octavia watched as the fires that had burned so brightly earlier that night, were now almost completely exhausted. The commemoration had finished more than an hour ago but she couldn't find it in her to stand up, to leave the final resting place of her brother. Her eyes shifted away from the fire for a moment and landed on the Commander and Clarke talking to each other, she was too far away to hear what they were talking about but frankly she didn't care.

She sighed deeply and turned her gaze back to the smoldering embers. Lincoln had taken his leave some time ago, though not of his own free will, Octavia had to practically beg him to go, she needed some time on her own. She thought it would give her peace, that it would clear her head of all the anger and desire for vengeance she felt boiling inside of her. But missing his warmth only made it worse, which Lincoln likely knew but he still respected her wishes, knowing not doing so would only end in an argument, the last thing she needed right now.

Bellamy is dead, she still couldn't believe it. She still thought that the moment she turned around he would be standing there. He would smile at her with that smug smile of his, he would tell her that as her brother it was his duty to protect her and she would tell him that she isn't a child anymore and that she could take care of herself now.

They had their whole lives ahead of them on the ground, her with Lincoln and his with whomever. The fierce sibling rivalry, arguments for days only to rekindle as if nothing had happened. Now his life was over and hers was shattered.

He was all the family she had left and now he was taken away from her. Taken by the Ice Nation, by Ontari who brutalized and beheaded him. If only she could get her hands on that Ice Nation bitch, she would do to her what she did to Bellamy, she would take her head and personally deliver it to the Ice Queen before she too would become acquainted with her blade. She would-

"Vengeance is not the answer."

A familiar voice pulled Octavia away from the dark thoughts plaguing her mind. A figure stood to her side; she looked up and recognized the woman but couldn't recall her name. She just shrugged, not giving it a second thought and turned her gaze back to the flames.

"What do you know of vengeance." she snapped at the woman.

"Everything." the woman answered back.

Octavia looked at her again. "And you are?" she asked, deciding she wanted to know after all.

"Kensi."

Yes, now she remembered, Clarke had mentioned her a few times.

"You don't know me." Octavia bit back.

Kensi just shrugged. "I do not, no, but I know that look you have in your eyes. You want revenge for the loss of your brother. I felt the same fighting Ontari yesterday, and it almost cost me my life."

"Then you clearly didn't know what you were doing." Octavia spat at her.

This woman didn't deserve her anger, but she couldn't help it, she felt nothing but anger right now and talking to this woman wasn't making it any easier.

"Nor would you, if you are stupid enough to face her in battle one day."

"What do you care, you don't even know me." Octavia bluntly stated.

"No, but I know what it is like to lose someone important to you."

"Haven't we all?" Octavia responded, sounding completely indifferent.

"My father was taken by the Reapers." Kensi started, brushing aside Octavia's disrespect. "Later, when I was on a scouting mission with my mother and Tys, we were captured by him, he killed my mother, tortured us and would've killed me had Heda's scouts not found us. They killed him, and I had to watch my father be taken away from me again. I wanted nothing but revenge, kill every Reaper I could find but Tys and Heda ensured that I didn't, instead I was trained to spy upon the Lake People, where I have been for the last few years."

Octavia looked at her with a frown. "And this has exactly what to do with Ontari?" she wondered, doing her best not to sound concerned by what Kensi had just told her.

"Ontari had always been suspicious of me there, never being able to prove I was an actual spy. Until the day the love of my life was caught trying to defect to Trikru, I was brought before her, she and Colioh forced me to kill her, to prove my loyalty." she explained.

Octavia felt her eyes widen. "You killed the woman you loved?" she asked, her voice sounding shocked.

"If I did not, they would have known that I was a spy, there would have been war and hundreds if not thousands of my people would have died, I could not allow it and Natshana knew this too, her face was blank but her eyes were only for me to read and she told me to do it, knowing that if I did not, both our lives would be forfeit. So I killed her, and still to this day it haunts me in my sleep"

Octavia remained silent, not sure what was worse, finding out your brother is dead or actually being the one to kill the person you love.

"Seeing her on that battlefield, seeing what she did to your brother and what she was about to do to your people, I was blinded by rage, by vengeance. Had Anya not shown up I would have paid for it with my life."

Octavia wondered where exactly she was going with this. Before she could say anything Kensi continued her tragic tale.

"Vengeance will only cloud your mind, it should never be something you want. Justice on the other hand, is something to desire. Justice for the loss of your brother, for the loss of your people. Justice is something we will achieve once we march upon Polis and regain control of the city, then we will get justice for what was done to your people, then Ontari and Queen Nia will get what they deserve and only then will you have peace."

Octavia chuckled, it was one hell of a speech, and for some strange reason it worked, but the irony behind it did not go unnoticed to her.

"You know, those are pretty wise words for someone who was blinded by revenge herself not that long ago."

Kensi laughed back at her. "I've learned from my mistakes… and Heda might have talked some sense into me earlier today." she admitted.

Octavia shrugged. "Of course she did."

Kensi lifted an eyebrow at Octavia. "If I didn't know better, I might think you're mocking our Commander." she said, the tone in her voice held warning.

Octavia offered her an apologetic look. "No, not that. It's just… she's only a few years older than me but she has the confidence and experience of someone thrice her age, it amazes me sometimes. Things weren't like that on the Ark, it's why Clarke's mother has so much trouble accepting her authority and accepting that Clarke is becoming a leader."

"Clarke is very wise, her mother would do well to accept that." Kensi said plainly.

"When Clarke told me what happened to Bellamy, I was set on seeing his body, seeing him one last time, she tried to talk me out of it, or well advise me not to at least. I still went, I stood still before his covered body, ready to remove the sheets and look at him one last time. But then I realized she was right, I think if I would have looked, I would never remember his smile, or that face when he worried about me. Clarke was right, again." Octavia said.

There was no contempt towards Clarke, just an acknowledgement of Kensi claiming that Clarke knows exactly what she is doing, or as Kensi said it; Clarke is very wise. But Octavia would never say that to Clarke herself, no need to bolster her ego, she joked to herself before realizing how much more relaxed she suddenly felt.

Kensi nodded and stood back to her feet. "Say your final goodbyes to your brother, and then seek comfort with Lincoln, I know that in time you will be well again."

Kensi placed a gentle hand on Octavia's shoulder and then walked towards where Clarke and Lexa were still talking. She didn't know how, but somehow Kensi had made her feel better. She could still feel her lust for vengeance linger in the pit of her stomach, but her grief for Bellamy was on the surface again. Kensi was right, it is time to say her final goodbyes to her brother.

* * *

It had been a long day, after her talk with Octavia and Raven Clarke stopped by the medical tent again to help tend to the injured. After spending a few more hours there she had gone to find Lexa, who was not in the best of moods and it took her considerable effort to convince the Commander to come see Tyler, as she had promised the boy. Their visit had been short because of that, but Tyler was glad to have seen the Commander either way.

He'd been sat down at the edge of the pit where the pyres were during the commemoration, in front of Lexa and Clarke. They didn't really have any other choice after he refused to stay with Niylah or Harper, but he kept quiet, eyes just focused on the fire while Lexa gave her speech, and Clarke after that. Not much later he had fallen asleep and Harper carried him back together with the other kids who had survived.

They remained until the fire had died down and then left for Lexa's tent where they now found themselves alone. The day had been exhausting and all Clarke wanted was to take off her clothes and go to bed. Sometimes it still felt like it had all been a bad dream, like she would wake up tomorrow and the Ark wasn't destroyed. The thought of so many of her people gone, she couldn't wrap her head around it and just thinking about it made her feel sick to her stomach.

_Will this feeling ever go away,_ she wondered to herself.

Clarke pushed her thoughts aside when she noticed Lexa's agitation, how she tossed her coat unceremoniously on the floor, allowing a frustrated groan to leave her lips. She had noticed before that Lexa's mood had been off, she thought at first it just had been because of the long and dragging day, but now even in the privacy of her own tent her lousy mood lingered and Clarke wanted to know what was bothering her.

"Leksa." she said, sitting down on the bed to untie her boots. "You alright?"

"I am fine, Clarke."

But her tone showed that she was anything but fine and as soon as Clarke had discarded her boots, she stood from the bed and walked over to Lexa, placing a hand under chin, slightly lifting it to look at the pair of beautiful green eyes.

"Want to try that again?" Clarke asked as she placed a kiss on Lexa's cheek.

"Hmm…" she hummed and closed her eyes for a few seconds. "Try what again?"

"Telling me you're fine."

"I  _am_ fine." she responded.

Clarke planted her hands on her hips and stared at the Commander with a disapproving look.

"Your mood has been off since this afternoon and now you huff at every piece of clothing you take off, don't close me off, please tell me what's bothering you."

She saw Lexa breathe out and then swallow deeply. Her eyes closed, Lexa leaned back against the table behind her and ran a hand through her now unbraided hair, whatever it was, it must have been really bothering her.

"I had a disagreement with Anya today." she started. "About our relationship."

Clarke snorted at that. "Not surprised really, considering the death glare I got from her the moment we walked outside." she said and then quickly realized something. "Wait, is that why Kensi was with you during the commemoration, instead of Anya?"

"It is, I sent her away after our argument." she said while undoing her gloves.

As Lexa moved to place the gloves on the table, Clarke caught a glimpse of her hand and frowned at the sight of it, she gently reached for Lexa's hand, cradling it in her own.

"Is this also because of Anya?" she asked, gently stroking the slightly bruised knuckles.

Strangely enough the question made Lexa chuckle a bit. "I hit a piece of metal, Clarke, not Anya."

"Which you hit because you were angry with Anya." the Skygirl elaborated.

The bruises were carefully but neatly inspected, Lexa didn't even flinch when Clarke applied a bit of pressure on it to ensure nothing was broken. As her inspection of Lexa's hand continued, a voice from one of the guards outside interrupted them.

"Heda, Nova kamp raun hir."

"Teik em gouthru klir."

Lexa instantly pulled her hand away and stepped forward, Clarke didn't miss how her face turned stoic and Lexa transformed into the Commander. The blonde stayed behind her, keeping her eyes on the person who walked inside. It was a young girl that Clarke recognized as one of the novitiates. The girl's gaze shifted to Clarke, their eyes met and it was almost as if she was judging Clarke as her eyes ran up and down her body. She then turned her gaze to the Commander and lowered her head in respect. Clarke was mildly surprised that the young girl didn't prioritize greeting her Commander before giving anyone else attention. She wasn't sure what to make of Nova's actions, being judged by an individual much younger than herself, it left her with an unfamiliar feeling.

If the girl had offended her Commander, Lexa didn't show it, instead she reached for a report off the table behind Clarke and handed it to Nova.

"Take this to Kensi and join her on tonight's scouting mission." she ordered the girl.

The girl once more offered Lexa a respectful nod. "Sha, Heda." she said and immediately left, but not before giving Clarke one final glance.

The moment Nova walked outside Lexa relaxed her shoulders, Clarke watched as she went to sit down on the bed and began untying her boots.

"Do you train all of your novitiates to look as stoic as you?" she asked and went to sit down next to Lexa.

"They are taught to not show emotions, yes. While her political skills and emotions are well trained, Nova still has a lot to do to improve her combat and tracking skills, it is why she will accompany Kensi on her scouting mission."

"Ah." Clarke said frowning. "That's why I didn't know what to make of her, she didn't seem to be very thrilled to see me."

A proud smiled formed on Lexa's face. "Nova and Cole are the two most promising of the current novitiates. They are the complete opposite, where Nova is skilled in hiding her emotions and is a well versed politician, Cole is not but instead is a very skilled fighter and tracker." she explained.

It was more than visible of how proud Lexa was when talking about her novitiates. It made Clarke smile and she reached forward and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek.

"You must be so proud of them, the way you talk about them." she said.

Lexa nodded. "I am, I try my best to raise and train them differently to how I was trained. The three pillars of the Commander are wisdom, strength and compassion. But the latter was often forgotten while I was growing up to be Commander, I will make sure that these notiviates don't experience the same."

"Well I just hope neither of them will become Commander for quite some time yet."

Lexa hummed in agreement and this time it was her who leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Clarke's lips. "I hope so too." she said.

"Do you want to talk about your argument with Anya?" Clarke asked, immediately changing the subject.

Her question made Lexa shake her head. "I would much rather go to sleep, it has been a long day."

A smug look formed on Clarke's face, however before she could speak up to explain, Lexa was a step ahead.

"Don't look at me like that, I know I should have slept last night, there is no need for you to remind me of it." she said smiling, but the smile slowly faded. "You should rest as well, tomorrow we will start moving everyone to TonDC, it is not safe to remain her for much longer, TonDC will be much safer and it will take us several days to safely move everyone"

Clarke sighed and nodded. "I know, some of the injured aren't even fit enough yet to travel, my mother among them."

"We will arrange carts for them, but they can remain here at the camp until the very last moment before we leave for TonDC." Lexa turned to Clarke and slid her arm around her waist. "Now come, let's undress and get some much needed rest."

Without hesitation Lexa moved her hand below Clarke's shirt and lifted it over her head. Together the two women rid each other of their clothing. Both exhausted they crawled below the furs and then Clarke rolled on her side only to have Lexa immediately crawl against her, arm pressing against her stomach as she held the blonde tightly.

"Reshop, Klark." she heard Lexa whisper into her ear.

"Reshop, Leksa."

* * *

It's been almost a week since Arkadia was attacked and the last few days Clarke has busied herself mostly with ensuring her people are settled as best as possible in their temporary accommodations. All survivors have been situated in the houses of TonDC's people. Lexa never had to ask her people to make their homes available for the Skaikru who had survived. She had actually planned to set up tents but it was the villagers themselves who had offered their homes until a more permanent solution would be found for the remaining Skaikru.

Wanheda ensured the Mountain was no more, the least they could do was offer her people a roof above their heads. That's what the volunteers had said, Clarke wasn't sure if she had expressed her gratitude enough. She visited every single one of them every day. From the couple that were the last to have been rescued, to Lincoln and Octavia who had been offered a place in Nyko's house.

Tyler had been placed with Rona, the older woman had welcomed the young boy with open arms. As expected Tyler was hesitant at first but after a few days he had grown to like Rona, despite the language barrier they had. It helped that Aden also lived with Rona and from what Clarke had seen the two boys were getting along quite nicely. Problems only arose whenever Aden had to go and train with Anya, Tyler wanted to come but a firm speech from Rona in a combination of English and Trigedasleng always made the boy stay behind, reluctantly.

Clarke was just happy that he wasn't so dependent on Lexa and herself anymore. Though that did mean if he hadn't seen them for a while, he would go looking for them instead. Much to Rona's displeasure who always ended up collecting him from either Clarke or Lexa, or both if the women were together. If Rona hadn't told Clarke he has nightmares almost every night, she would almost believe he was adjusting to a life without his father rather well. Then again, it would have been worrisome for Clarke if he didn't have nightmares, everyone was adjusting and processing the recent events on their own. Just like Tyler, Clarke went through it with nightmares, almost every night.

Ever since they were back returning to TonDC the nightmares only grew worse. They were mixed with events from the mountain, with Arkadia burning and Emerson. After the first night Lexa immediately noticed her lack of sleep and insisted that she spend the night with her. But Clarke had declined it and thought it was best for now to sleep in separate tents; with her people now here as well she didn't want to create any suspicion and she didn't want to put fuel on the already burning fire between Anya and Lexa. Ever since their argument anytime they spoke it was as Heda and General, but not once as Lexa and Anya. It concerned Clarke, but whenever she brought it up Lexa put up barriers so solid it was impossible for even her to break through. Although it wasn't like she was trying too hard to break down Lexa's barriers, she didn't want to intrude on the relationship between the two and she still had a lot on her mind regarding her own people.

But Clarke wasn't sure for how long she could manage to stay away from Lexa during the nights. It wasn't just for the comfort that helped her sleep better, but she hated the fact that she had to hide her feelings for the woman she loves. Sooner or later more people will find out and their relationship would have to be addressed, whether it be with the council or worse, her mother. She dreaded that moment the most. But maybe Lexa was right, keeping it hidden would only make it worse and their bond together could have political advantages as well as disadvantages. Still, it made her feel uneasy to have to use the love she feels for Lexa for politics but if it would strengthen Lexa's position, she would do it in a heartbeat. Getting Polis back and finally having peace is what mattered and Clarke would do whatever it takes to achieve that. And if that meant she had to show the world she loved Lexa, then so be it.

"Are you even listening to what I'm saying?"

Hands slid from her waist and under her shirt pulling Clarke back to reality. She hummed as she felt Lexa's lips on her cheek and realized that she had drifted off with her thoughts and that she had barely heard a word of what Lexa saying.

They were in the council chambers, the meeting with the clans was over and everyone had finished filtering out, they were the only ones left inside. One of the many things that had been discussed was Emerson's execution, which would take place at sundown. Though the discussion had been quite short, everyone was in agreement that it should be Clarke who will carry out the execution.

It was a strange feeling for her. This wasn't like killing someone out of desperation or survival like Dante Wallace; this was going to be a public execution. A public display, an opportunity for Trikru to see the last of their greatest enemy meet their end, an opportunity for the remainder of her own people to achieve justice for those they lost.

Justice, that's what Lexa called it, not vengeance yet every time she thought of Emerson it didn't feel that way. It felt like she would be getting revenge for everyone she had lost. Revenge for Octavia's loss of her brother. Revenge for her mother as chances were she may never walk normally again. Revenge for Tyler as he watched his father die and now grow up an orphan.

"Clarke, are you okay?"

Lexa's gentle hands moved away from her stomach and she immediately missed the touch, but was relieved when Lexa's delicate fingers landed on her cheeks and she slightly tilted her head, giving Clarke no other option but to look her in the eyes. It was impossible to look away from those beautiful emerald eyes and Clarke felt no way out on answering Lexa's question.

"I don't know." she said. "You said that executing Emerson would be justice, not vengeance, but with every second his execution nears, all I can think off is revenge. Not for me, but for Octavia, for my mother, for Tyler… "

"That is not vengeance, Clarke. The way you think, it is justice. Vengeance comes from being selfish, for wanting someone to pay for what they did to you." Lexa explained.

"But he did do something to me, he took away my people, my friends… "

Clarke felt Lexa's hands move to her shoulder and guide her to a nearby chair, forcing Clarke to sit down. Lexa knelt down in front of her, gentle hands squeezing her thighs.

"But you think in the interest of those you care about." she tried to explain.

But still Clarke couldn't see the difference.

"Emerson told me he wanted me to suffer like he did, to be the only one left of my people like he was, and what he did definitely was vengeance."

"Yes, what he did was vengeance, because he was blinded by rage. Not because of losing his people, sure it was part of it, but he had lost something much more dearly to him. He had a family and you took that away from him and-"

Clarke brushed Lexa's hands away and stood to her feet. "There really is no need for you to remind me." she said, her tone bitter.

She could see the shock fall over Lexa's face, the brunette was taken aback by what she said. Clarke didn't mean it in that way, she was merely trying to make a point but her words and actions could've been a little more refined.

"I apologize, Clarke." she said, sounding way too formal for Clarke's liking. "I was merely trying to point out, that it was the loss of his family that had blinded him with rage, that is why he did what he did, that was vengeance, executing him tonight is not."

Clarke closed her eyes, she didn't mean to upset Lexa, or sneer at her like that. She knew that Lexa was only trying to help her, but Clarke knew that wasn't going to help fix her current struggle. No, there was something else she must do, something she had postponed for too long and should have done the moment she arrived. Her problem was with Emerson, and the best way to handle it was to face him.

"I need to see him." she said determinedly, walking over to the chair marked with the Skaikru symbol to reach for her coat. As she turned around, Lexa was standing right in front of her.

"Are you sure that is wise, Clarke?" she asked worryingly.

"I have been thinking about visiting him before the execution ever since we got back to TonDC. But I was too scared to confront him. But now I can see it is what I need to do to get closure, to tell myself that what I will do in a few hours isn't revenge, but justice." Clarke answered with no hesitation.

Lexa nodded. "Then I will go with you." she said.

"No." Clarke's reply was instant.

"No?" Lexa's question was met with a disapproving glare.

"I need to do this alone. I know you want to be there, protect me from whatever verbal abuse he will throw at me, but I can take care of myself Lexa."

There was an inner battle going on behind Lexa's eyes, it was clear as day. Lexa knew that Clarke was more than capable of looking after herself but she could see that every fiber of her body was against Clarke facing Emerson alone.

"Then I will go with you but wait in the hall, at the stairs." Her inner battle settled on a compromise.

"Lexa, didn't you tell me before the meeting today that you had training with the novitiates planned?" Clarke reminded her.

"It will not harm them to wait a bit longer, I will go with you Clarke. I'll respect your wish to talk to him alone, but I will be waiting for you there."

Talking her out of it seemed like an impossible task, she sighed and gave in. She took hold of her hand and together the two women walked to the exit of the council chambers. The moment they set foot outside their hands uncoupled but still they walked side by side to the prison cells. As they approached the cell door it unexpectedly opened from the inside and moments later they were soon face to face with someone they did not expect.

"Heda… "

The surprise was loud and clear in the older woman's voice and Clarke immediately became suspicious of her. A quick glance at Lexa told her she felt exactly same.

"Lynn, you have no business with the current prisoners, why are you here?"

Lexa's voice was cold and commanding, it made Lynn uneasy and Clarke was slightly surprised to see the difference between this Lynn and the one that was so dismissive of Skaikru upon arriving in TonDC.

"Heda, I-" she cleared her throat. "I wanted to know the fate of my fellow elders and hoped Gara would have answers for me."

Clarke remained silent and watched how the conversation between the two women unfolded. Lexa's face held suspicion, she looked increasingly skeptical over the Elder's words.

"Next time, you will consult with me or Anya first before you do that, understood?"

To say Clarke was surprised by Lexa not calling out Lynn's obvious dishonesty, was an understatement. What was Lexa's angle in all this? How easy she could read her lover's face moments ago, how confused she was now and hated that she couldn't figure out why Lexa let it go.

"Of course, Heda."

Lynn didn't hesitate for a second and scurried away from the two women.

"I know you don't believe her, why didn't you tell her to tell you the truth?" Clarke asked as Lexa held the door open for her.

"It wasn't the time nor the place to do that. I will confront her later." she answered.

The two women proceeded down the stairs, two guards at the end of it stepping aside to let them pass and as promised Lexa stopped with the two guards right next to her.

"Please be careful, Clarke." she said.

Clarke swallowed deeply and offered a small smile to the Commander and advanced forward, passing Gara's cell, spotting him sitting in the corner with his arms and legs crossed and then she reached Emerson's cell. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before turning and facing the man that was responsible for almost wiping out her people.

Lexa had certainly not taken half measures with his captivity. He was chained to the wall, chains around his ankles and wrists, even around his neck. He looked worse for wear as well. His face covered in blood, one of his eyes swollen and with only a pair of ragged pants on, cuts and bruises almost completely covering his chest, even his bare feet looked bloodied. Clarke wondered for a second if this had all been Lexa's doing, or that her warriors had been more than willing to torture him. Looking at the state of the man, she wondered if he would even make it to the execution or how he was still breathing but then there it was, his sinister laugh as he raised his head and their eyes met. As far as she could tell, they were empty. There was nothing left in his eyes, he had accepted his fate.

"Well, well, here she is." he said, the tone in his voice was cold. "Come to say goodbye, Clarke? Or have you come for revenge, to do what those guards have been doing since I got here?"

Well that at least answered the question of who was responsible for his injuries. While it hadn't been Lexa, surely she must have known what her warriors were doing to him and she had turned a blind eye. Clarke sighed, that was vengeance, a feeling she felt once when she stood on a mountain top after TonDC had been bombed and a Mountain Man was threatening to kill Lincoln. She'd felt vengeance then, when she shot the man. But she felt none of it right now, which surprised her slightly.

What didn't surprise her, was not feeling anger towards Lexa for allowing her warriors to brutalize Emerson. She wondered if some of them would be angry with her for being the one to execute him, instead of Lexa. Hundreds of her people had been killed because of Emerson, but they had lost thousands. Maybe turning a blind eye was Lexa's way of giving them a compromise.

"They are dead because of you, Clarke. If you would have left my people alone, none of this would have happened."

"If I would have left your people alone, they would have drilled my friends for bone marrow and eventually you would have attacked Arkadia, making sure you would have enough bone marrow to live on the surface for the rest of your life. It always was either your people or mine." she bit back.

"And now it's neither." he said and Clarke didn't miss the smirk on his face.

"My people still live." she said immediately.

"How many, exactly?" he asked tauntingly.

But Clarke didn't take the bait and kept quiet, much to his annoyance.

"I might not have been able to kill you all, but she will. That Ice bitch will come for you and when she does she will finish what I started, she will kill the remainder of your people, she'll kill the Commander. At least I will die knowing that you will not be far behind."

There really wasn't a single fragment of his soul left. And Clarke felt partly responsible for it, because of her he had lost his family, his people. But his people had been taking other people from their families for almost a century and after eradicating the mountain, Clarke couldn't cope with what she did and became overwhelmed with guilt and horror, now there was another feeling lingering inside of her.

Yes she was responsible for the death of his people, of his children and many others. And yes she was sure she would never forget that she was responsible for ending an entire race of people. But she did what she had to do. What she had done was justified, it was to make sure that her people lived and his didn't. None of it had anything to do with vengeance. What Emerson did to Arkadia, to her people, had everything to do with vengeance. He'd said it himself, he wanted her to suffer like he did, he wanted revenge for the death of his family.

"She can try." Clarke said back to him. "And like you she will die trying."

Her words only made him snort. "She won't, I've seen her army, I've seen what she's capable off. You think we were heartless by bleeding Grounders dry, by turning them into reapers? Just wait till you meet her."

Clarke wasn't sure if he was trying to scare her, or if he was trying to convince himself to not fear the woman he made a pact with even though he was going to die soon anyway. It wasn't the first time she heard someone describe the Ice Queen as heartless, brutal. Murphy had told her something similar and all it could make her think of is Lexa. How Lexa had to deal with this woman for years, how this woman was responsible for Costia's death and yet still she let the Ice Queen into her coalition. No one could ever tell her that she ruled with her heart and not her head, not after what she must have gone through.

"Who are you trying to convince here, me or yourself?" she asked him, once again not taking his bait. "You are going to die in a few hours, what are you still afraid off?"

"I am not afraid!" he yelled at her, she must have struck a nerve there. "Not of you, not of death!"

But Clarke had him figured out, she knew now why she needed to see him. Just like she knew that killing him later tonight was vengeance as much as justice. But she could accept it, she could live with it because it balanced out all the horrible things him and his people had done. She wasn't afraid to do what had to be done anymore, she was no longer in doubt.

"No, you're right." she said. "You're not afraid of me, or afraid to die."

She looked him right in the eyes before continuing.

"You're just afraid of failure. And that is all you did. You failed your pact with the Ice Queen, you failed to kill all of my people, you failed your own people,  _your_ family." she paused shortly, expecting him to yell again, but he kept his lips sealed. "And your biggest failure will be tonight, when you take your last breath knowing you failed them."

It was a low blow and Clarke surprised herself that it came from her own lips. She almost felt sorry, were it not that she quickly reminded herself who she was talking to; a mass murderer. But so was she although there still was a huge difference between them. They both murdered in order to survive. The Mountain Men took the blood of the Grounders to fend off radiation sickness. Clarke killed out of desperation, but both acts had the same goal, survival of their people. But the destruction of Arkadia had nothing to do with survival, his people had not survived but he did, he retaliated and took revenge at the expense of hundreds of her people. Granting him death was something he desired, but letting him live would bring nothing but risks. His death is the best solution, it's the best way out and so be it if it was what he wants, Clarke would just make sure it wouldn't be quick, or painless. And yes that was revenge, it was needless but she needed to do it anyways.

She understands now what Lexa had been trying to tell her. Yes it was justice for her people, it was justice she would bring them and they will be grateful for it. Her people will get justice, but Clarke, Clarke will get vengeance because that is what leaders do, they give their people justice, so that they can take vengeance for them and carry the consequences that come with it.

* * *

His screams thundered throughout TonDC, they were piercing to the ears and almost continuous for a good minute. There Clarke stood among her people and the Grounders who chose to bear witness to the execution of Carl Emerson,  _former_ Mount Weather security detail. All of them keeping their gaze on the incineration before them, all but her mother. She could feel her mother's gaze on her but refused to look, afraid of what she might see. Disapproval? Horror for what she had just done? Clarke didn't want to know and avoided her mother's gaze, instead taking solace in the presence next to her.

She wanted nothing more than to grab her hand and hold it tightly until the very end, when the fire blazed no more and Emerson was nothing more than a pile of ash. But in public view that wasn't an option, so she took solace in the next best thing and that was having Lexa here with her. Both of them were expressionless as they watched, Clarke wondered if in their time together she had somehow picked up this talent from Lexa. It wasn't easy, anybody looking at her would think this was having absolutely no effect on her, but inside her mind was racing. This wasn't like simply shooting someone or stabbing them out of survival, this was an execution in the name of justice. She had ignited the pyres to burn him alive because she thought he deserved the same fate that so many of her people suffered.

Did that make her heartless? Lexa said it didn't and her visit to Emerson earlier today had already been eye opening enough for her. It did however, make her once again think of what she was becoming. Months ago she thought she was becoming a monster but now she was seeing things more clearly. She is becoming a leader and a leader makes sacrifices so that others don't have to. Her mother would say that this however, was not a sacrifice she had to take. Burning him alive wouldn't have been necessary. Just a normal execution would have been enough. But what is a normal execution? Back on the Ark a normal execution was floating people. But her mother could not claim that floating was a quick and merciless execution. It was slow and painful and Clarke would not back down from her mother should she ever bring it up.

That didn't mean the actual execution hadn't been difficult for her. On the contrary, Clarke could feel her heartbeat in her throat, she had to muster all her strength to not tremble when she lowered the torch and set in motion the start of Emerson's last painful moments. But the moment she did, her eyes never left his. Part of her expected he would yell at her, call her all the names under the sun before the fire would consume him and cause him to do nothing but cry out in agony. But he remained completely passive, empty eyes aimed at hers and never breaking eye contact until the pain reached a level he could no longer ignore.

And now, now the screaming has stopped and Emerson has been consumed by the flames, his lifeless body already charring and the crowd around her was slowly ebbing away. The final Mountain Man was dead at last. People had seen what they wanted to and now continued on with their day. But Clarke remained, she watched on when her mother and Kane were being escorted back to the medical area by Nyko and Niylah. Her eyes closed for a few moments when she felt Lexa's hand on her shoulder, whispering in her ear that she had to attend to her duties before feeling the warmth of her body fade. Suddenly it was so cold, despite the flames in front of her, it was cold because Lexa was no longer next to her and she could stand here, scolding the brunette for leaving her, scolding herself for needing the woman she loved to be right here, next to her, were it not for a distraction that caught her attention.

Hushed whispers caught her attention and her eyes landed on Raven arguing with Nyc. Clarke was just in time to see the bulky man shake his head in disbelief before walking away and as her gaze turned to Raven she spotted the stubbornness that she had seen on her a few times before. When Raven was the last to walk away, Clarke gave Emerson's burned body one last glance and then followed after Raven.

The mechanic stopped when she reached Rona's house, sitting down in front of the fire and keeping her hands warm above it. This wasn't the place where Raven was living, but Clarke had noticed the older girl spending a lot of time here. It was late, Tyler was probably already sleeping but where Aden and Rona were she didn't know, it also didn't matter, she just wanted to talk to Raven so she sat down next to her, offering her a faint smile when their eyes briefly met.

"You okay?" Clarke asked her.

The question was met with a nod. "Yeah, just glad that son of a bitch is finally dead." she replied.

"Me too." she responded. "You're not angry at me, for… " she hesitated, trying to see if there was a kinder way to say it. "You know… "

Clarke could slap herself for sounding so insecure about her own actions, it almost sounded as if she regretted what she had done to Emerson, which she really didn't.

"Hell no, Griffin. That psychopath got what he deserved and don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

It made her shrug. "I won't." she said. "It's just difficult to wrap my head around, we lost our people, our home."

"Every morning I wake up." Raven started. "I hope it's all just been a dream, but then I set foot outside and reality just hits me square in the face, like an actual punch, it's… strange."

"Yeah… " Clarke muttered softly.

A comfortable silence fell between them, both women just keeping their hands up above the fire when a few minutes later Rona came walking outside, her eyes slightly widening in surprise, not expecting the two women there.

Clarke wanted to get up, an apologetic look on her face for interrupting the woman's private terrain but Rona waved her off.

"Wanheda, stay." she said and scurried off into the village, leaving the two women to their privacy.

The silence between them continued, Clarke wanted to bring up the argument she saw between Nyc and Raven but she had no idea how to say it without Raven shutting her off or getting angry at her, telling her to mind her own business. It took her close to a minute before she finally mustered the courage to speak up.

"You know." she started. "You're probably going to tell me to mind my own business, but I noticed you were close with Nyc a few days ago and now suddenly you seem at odds with each other."

Raven's eyes did flash with annoyance and anger at first. But she held back and turned her head away, Clarke saw her taking a deep breath. The first reflex Raven must have had was to tell Clarke to mind her own business, but for some reason she changed her mind and she got an actual response.

"It's complicated."

Well it wasn't an actual response, but at least she didn't get yelled at, they were definitely making progress.

"Love?" she asked Raven.

"What?" the shock was clearly visible in her eyes.

"You said it was complicated, I asked if you meant that love is complicated."

Raven scoffed. "I don't love him." she said and flinched at her own words.

That look right there, Clarke already knew Raven didn't even believe it herself. She was ready to argue about it with Raven when footsteps from behind interrupted them, followed by a familiar voice.

"Your presence has been requested by Heda." she heard Kensi say and a split second later she stood next to Clarke.

Clarke looked at Raven, who offered her a kind smile and waved her off.

"We'll talk later." Clarke said while she got to her feet.

"We will." Raven assured her.

Clarke stood to her feet, ready to follow Kensi to Lexa but when she set herself in motion, Kensi remained, which made Clarke frown, aiming a pair of questionable eyes at Kensi who in her turn faced Raven, a slight smirk on her face.

"You as well." she said.

Raven formed a frown that matched Clarke's, both women confused and wondering why the Commander needed to see them both.

"Don't look at me like that, save your questions for the Commander, now come."

Kensi extended a hand for Raven to help her to her feet and then motioned for the two women to follow her. The two eyed each other with curiosity while following Kensi. As they reached the outskirts of TonDC Clarke quickly realized they were being lead directly to Lexa's tent. Not much later they found themselves walking inside her tent and Clarke was met with a pleasant surprise. Lexa was standing behind her war table and while Anya stood on one side, the surprise was the woman who stood on her other side; Indra.

"Indra." she said, a little more cheerfully than she intended.

"Clarke." Indra said back with a nod as soon as Clarke reached the table. "For a second it looked as if you were relieved to see me."

"I would never openly admit that." she said with a slight smirk.

"Good." Indra said back, showing a similar smirk only for a few seconds.

"I'm glad you are all happy to see each other, but why am I here?"

Clarke shot Raven a cautioning glance and Indra in particular was not happy with Raven's boldness, she too shot her an intimidating glance. Even Anya's body stiffened but Lexa waved them off and shoved a few items forward on the table.

"Indra has spent the last few days chasing after the assassin responsible for the destruction of Mount Weather, he had this on him." Lexa explained.

"And you couldn't ask him what it was?" Raven asked bluntly.

"He is dead." Indra answered.

It made Raven snort. "You people should really ask questions first and kill later." she said.

Her sarcastic tone caused Indra to growl with anger, Anya too voiced her discontent but in Trigedasleng. Her words were unfamiliar to Clarke but she doubted they were kind and as she was about to chatiste Raven for her showing of disrespect towards the Commander and her Generals, she was stopped by Kensi with a simple touch on her shoulder.

The Commander took her attention off the items and stared at Raven for a few moments, her face completely unreadable, she then slowly walked around the table stopping when her face was just inches away from Raven's.

"I think after recent events we deserve a little more appreciation from you, perhaps I was mistaken." she said, holding out the items for Raven to take. "The assassin is dead because he picked a fight with Indra that would have ended her life had she not killed him first. It is also why several of her ribs are now broken and my healers had to treat a knife wound in her side. I hope that is enough of a reason for you to tell us what it is this assassin carried with him, Clarke at least told me once that you were one of the smartest among your people, but perhaps she was mistaken too."

Clarke was taken aback by Lexa's mocking tone and it left Raven speechless, realizing that there really was no need for her aggressiveness towards the Trikru women. Clarke guessed that she was still a bit agitated from her argument with Nyc earlier today and directed her frustration towards these women. It wasn't an excuse of course, but at least it seems Raven was willing to apologize.

"I…" Raven cleared her throat. "I'm sorry, Commander, I am just a little bit on edge after all the shit that's been happening lately."

Clarke groaned inwardly, it was as good as an apology as Lexa was going to get. She made a mental note to apologize again on Raven's behalf when they were alone but for now it seemed like Lexa was content enough with the apology. Then without a word she walked past Raven to return to her original place at the other side of the table.

"I will accept the apology, if you could tell me what exactly this is. A map of course, most likely of Mount Weather, but there is more in there."

Raven spread the items out on the table. Clarke stepped next to her and looked through them as well. Blueprints of Mount Weather. There were drawings, or more something like instructions written down in a notebook ending with a seven digit code. Clarke watched as Raven processed through the contents, fingers sliding from the notebook to the blueprints and that was when Clarke suddenly realized what was marked on the map. Or more specifically which area and she hated that she remembered the place so well from the top of her head. The area marked was the President's office.

"It's instructions." Raven started. "A carefully constructed manual so that this Assassin would be able to complete his mission, which he obviously did."

"What does that mean?" Anya asked.

Raven eyed the General carefully. "Emerson gave this guy instructions on how to get to the President's Office, get into his computer and start the countdown for the self destruct of the facility." she explained.

"He wanted to ensure, on the small chance not all of us died, that we wouldn't try and find a new home by going into Mount Weather, the collateral damage of the Commander's people was a bonus, he must have known they were guarding it closely to ward off unwelcome guests." Clarke said

Clarke knew she was right about this and Raven nodded in agreement. "There are even instructions in there for the guy to get out of there as quickly as possible so that he wouldn't get caught in the blast." she added.

"A demand from the Ice Queen no doubt, this was one of her top assassins, losing him will be a blow. A small one, but a setback either way." Indra said.

Lexa didn't speak up just yet, she and likely her Generals were thinking over what Raven had just explained to them. Clarke could read her eyes, she already had figured it would be something like this but probably wanted it confirmed by Raven just to be sure.

"I can't believe Mount Weather is gone now too… " Raven said, her voice filled with disappointment.

"Try not to sound too disappointed there, Skaigada." Anya growled at her.

Clarke wanted to come to Raven's defense but immediately following Anya's words the mechanic's eyes widened in shock, realizing her mistake. The Mountain had been a plague for the Grounders for so long, for them it was a blessing for it to finally be destroyed, though regretfully even in its destruction it had once more taken the lives of their people. Clarke looked up and saw three angry set of eyes aimed at Raven, but she immediately showed them an apologetic look, and explained the reasoning behind their words.

"Sorry, again." she said. "I understand the Mountain took a lot from you, and I really am sorry about that. But you must understand my point, technology is all I have ever known. It is what I am good at, repairing things, invent something new, it's what I do. And now all of that has been taken away from me, there are no computers anymore, the Rover's gone, there's nothing… "

She shook her head, glancing at Clarke for a few moments before turning around and heading out of the tent. "I'm sorry, I just… I have to go." she said and before anyone could say anything she had already left the four women alone.

Clarke wanted to run after her, but she quickly realized it would be one of the worst thing to do after what just happened. It was more than likely that Lexa wasn't happy with Raven's behaviour, leaving too would only make matters worse, so instead of running after Raven, she remained here and decided to come to her defense.

"Look, I-"

Two words was all she managed before being interrupted by Lexa. "Leave us." she said with a flick of her wrists.

Not a single protest came and in mere moments Indra, Anya and Kensi had left them alone. Lexa remained calm and unfazed, keeping her Commander mask in place, which made Clarke unsure of what was going through Lexa's mind. She was no doubt angry at Raven but that was about all she could read out of it. Whatever it was, it made Clarke swallow her words and wait for Lexa to do the talking.

"You need to talk to your people, Clarke." she started. "I have received reports of several incidents between your people and mine. Not all of your people are happy here, among mine. Which I partly understand, the past between our two people has caused this, but our assistance at Arkadia should show your people we want nothing but unity. My people have already been reprimanded, but if people like Raven and your mother for example continue to show signs that will only encourage the behaviour your people are showing, it will take a turn for the worse. People closest to you need to start showing more respect, I believe that those close to me, have already done so towards yours."

There wasn't a single word in what Lexa just said that Clarke could protest. Lexa's people had opened their homes for hers. They had treated them well enough, most of them at least but as Lexa claimed those who didn't have been reprimanded. Raven's actions earlier only bolstered her arguments and there was no other choice but to accept Lexa's words.

So she nodded in agreement. "I will, I'll talk to them but Lexa please don't be angry at Raven. This really is difficult to her, computers, engineering and mechanics really is what she excels in. I'll talk to her, to all of my people, I promise."

Lexa's eyes showed understanding.

"Okay Clarke, I understand the pain she is going through, what all of your people are going through. Just tell them to not use mine to express it."

It was answered with a short humm from Clarke and then a long silence followed between them. Her fingers fidgeting with the edge of the table, unsure if their conversation should remain formal or not. But the silence was eventually broken by Lexa.

"You did well tonight."

Clarke eyed Lexa with a set of questionable eyes.

"Emerson's execution, you did well." she said again.

Of course that was what she meant, Clarke should have known better.

"I burned a man alive."

Lexa walked around the table and reached for Clarke's hand, offering comfort. "No one told you to do as such, this was your choosing." she said softly.

Clarke swallowed deeply and nodded. "My people were burned alive because of him, those who survived get justice from his death, I'll take the burden of vengeance." she replied.

There was nothing but admiration in Lexa's eyes when Clarke looked for them, she sucked in a breath when Lexa wrapped her arms around her, hugging her tightly. Everything Lexa wanted to say was being said with this single hug. Admiration, pride, love. To Lexa Clarke had transformed into a powerful woman, but stayed true to herself, she could see it in her eyes when she pulled away from the hug.

That look she held, it made Clarke weak, she felt her legs shake and knew for certain she would fall if Lexa let go. But Lexa wouldn't let go, she had Clarke and she won't let go. And she knew this, she knew whatever she did, no matter what happened, Clarke would have Lexa. And Lexa would have Clarke too. There was no going back now, they had each other and nothing or no one would change that.

She unbuttoned Lexa's coat, sliding it off her shoulders and dropping it on the floor, Lexa did the same with Clarke's coat and then pulled her in for another hug, digging her head in the crook of her shoulder and breathing in the more than familiar scent of her lover. Lexa kissed her forehead and then rested her head on Clarke's shoulder, keeping like this and waiting for Clarke to be the first to move away. She opened her eyes, they made contact with the tattoo on Lexa's bicep. The patterns were studied carefully, first just with her eyes as they moved up and down, then her fingers started tracing the black ink, resulting in goosebumps on Lexa's skin. But the beautiful woman holding her did not flinch, Clarke followed the calm pace of her heartbeat while her fingers kept lingering on the tattoo.

"Lexa?"

"Hmm, hodness?"

"I need a tattoo."

Lexa immediately pulled away from the hug, eyeing Clarke with curiosity, studying her but only finding determination in her eyes. It was not that Lexa didn't want her to have a tattoo, Clarke could see that, but she knew she said she needed a tattoo and didn't say she wanted one and Lexa wanted to know why.

"I need to make sure that I never forget the things I did, the things that happened to me." she said. "They are my burden to bear, and I will bear it on my body."

Lexa nodded at her, hands reaching for Clarke's shirt, pulling it off and tossing it aside. Clarke sucking in a breath when Lexa's fingers traced over her stomach, between her breasts, moving upwards and then cupped her cheeks.

"If that is what you wish, Klark, you will look beautiful to me either way." She said, planting another kiss on her forehead. "You are in luck, the man who gave me mine lives here in TonDC, I will plan an introduction."

Clarke looked at her inquisitively. "Really? I would think one of your Elders or something would give you one, you know, being the Commander and all."

She pulled at Lexa's shirt to pull it from her pants and then discarded it the same way Lexa had done with hers. She heard Lexa chuckle at her words.

"The tattoo is sacred, it needs to be perfect, he is the best there is and was therefore chosen to give me mine. He did the same with at least four Commanders before me."

Clarke felt her eyes widen. "How old is he exactly?"

"Old." Lexa simply replied.

The Commander's hands began to explore Clarke's body again, fingers gently sliding over her skin, exploring her arms, her jaw, her chest. And wherever her fingers had left a trail, Lexa followed it with a kiss, almost worshipping Clarke's body like she was sacred herself.

"Lexa." Clarke breathed.

"Stay the night Clarke, please; the nights I drift off to my dreams without your touch have been almost torturous" her lips trembled at Lexa's words, she knew the feeling, it was the same for her. "I'm past caring what people think. I am Heda… and I am yours" she said softly, her eyes full of love.

Clarke felt her heart skip a beat; Lexa was surrendering herself completely, no more barriers. Pleading the blonde to stay, so that they may never spend another night alone. Clarke wanted the same; she was tired of the nightmares that plagued her sleep. What she desired most was Lexa's comfort, her protective arms around her body, holding her tightly. She needs Lexa and Lexa needs her.

"I will, Lexa." she said. "I'll stay, every night."

* * *

Anya studied the Skygirl closely. She did not claim to know this girl but it was clear as day that she was troubled, troubled because she claimed a life without tek is no life. The very thought caused her to let out a despondent sight, maybe this girl should first learn how to keep her big mouth shut, especially towards the Commander. This girl does not know her life has only just begun. None of her people do, except for Clarke and Octavia, though she would never openly admit it.

It was her intention to go to the barracks and spend the night there, like she had been doing ever since returning from Arkadia. Anya was among the many who had offered her home to Skaikru but if a stranger was spending time in her home she would rather sleep somewhere else, ordinarily she hardly spends a lot of time there anyway . But on her way to the barracks she spotted the girl named Raven and decided she would give her a piece of her mind.

Raven did not look up when Anya stepped in front of her, she remained staring blankly ahead, arms crossed and back leaned against the door of the hut. But the General didn't miss the slight sneer that escaped the girl's lips.

"There is more to this world than tek, Skaigada." Anya finally broke the silence.

"There is more to the world than waving your sword around." Raven countered but refused to look up.

"You would be dead if I had not waved my sword around." Anya countered. "That is the world you live in now, Tekgada."

"Yeah well maybe I shouldn't be in it then." She said, the realization of her own words hit her almost instantly and Anya could see the fear of it in her eyes.

"You would take the cowards way out then."

Raven finally looked up, almost drilling a hole in Anya's forehead when she did. "Why are you here?"

Anya chuckled "Am I not allowed to go to my own home?"

Raven's eyes widened in surprise. "You live here?"

"This is my home, yes. But I am barely ever home so I thought I'd offer it to Skaikru, had I known you would be staying here, I would have changed my mind."

"What is your problem with me?" Raven sneered at her.

With an accusing finger pointed at Raven, Anya stepped forward. "My problem, Tekgada, is that you forget to show the proper respect to those who offer you a home, who helped save your people-"

Raven stepped away from the door and approached Anya, arms folded and offering her a challenging look. "Your people left us at the mountain, when we really needed you the most."

It was almost amusing to Anya, this girl who stood shorter and smaller than her, challenging a woman who could kill her in an instant should she decide to.

"You are digging up old skeletons, our people have a history together but that is behind us now, you should take an example from Octavia and Clarke."

Much to her surprise the words made Raven look away and take a few paces back. She returned to her previous position by leaning against the back of the house. "I've been trying to." she said softly and then let herself slide down until she sat on the cold ground, which didn't go very smoothly due to the brace around her leg.

Anya looked at her curiously; she expected the girl to continue arguing but instead did the complete opposite. A rare moment for the General, surprised and unsure what to say next she simply sighed and reached for some firewood, then set about making a fire.

With little effort a nice fire was now burning bright; Anya seated herself opposite Raven who was still learning back against the door. There was just silence now between the two women; just the light crackling of the fire licking at the air but then movement in the shadows grabbed her attention. It was Nyc, he stopped in his tracks the moment he saw Anya, their eyes met briefly before she looked back at Raven. Her eyes were closed, she hadn't noticed Nyc and he quickly made it clear to keep it that way as Anya looked at him again. He just shook his head before walking away, disappearing into the distance.

Raven didn't hesitate to find comfort with Nyc after the events with Emerson and Arkadia, but then suddenly whenever Anya would see them together here, they were either arguing or Raven was just shutting Nyc out as he tried to talk to her. She just thought to herself that the girl was incredibly stubborn, refusing to admit to herself that she had feelings for someone not of her people.

It almost made her sympathize with her, her home destroyed, no more tek and a refusal to let herself fall for someone from Trikru.

"Clarke claimed you are the smartest of your people, I really fail to see this." Anya said.

"Excuse me?"

"You give in so easily, all you have known is destroyed, you close off your heart-"

"What are you talking about?" Raven interrupted Anya.

"I have seen you with Nyc."

"There is nothing to see." Raven bit back.

"Your denial only enforces my point, Tekgada." Raven remained silent and closed her eyes again. "Before you claimed your life is over without tek-"

"I never said that."

Anya sighed, becoming annoyed by Raven's interruptions.

"You didn't have to, now keep interrupting me and i'll cut out your tongue." She thought she saw a flicker of amusement in Raven's eyes but it almost instantly faded. "As I was saying, before you claim that you cannot live without tek, visit our blacksmith, or any of our other craftsmen, unless we are too primitive for you, Tekgada." Anya paused briefly causing Raven to curiously look up, she continued when their eyes met. "Not all of our people wave our swords around." she said in a bitter tone.

Silence followed her words, Raven not sure what to say shuffled herself a bit closer to the fire to fight the cold while Anya just calmly glanced around. A carved bottle with a broken red seal caught her attention, she picked it up and studied it closely. It had the words 'The Baton, to be remembered on earth' written on it.

"A toast for those we had lost, we drank it after the commemoration." Raven said.

Anya just hummed in understanding and placed the bottle back. While doing so she caught movement in the distance and spotted a hooded figure leaving the building where all the novitiates were. The person could have worn any disguise and Anya would have still recognized her. Her trained eye easily spotted the familiar posture and slightest of limps as she walked. It made her growl, wondering why Lynn was with the novitiates still at this hour.

"Careful, or you'll hurt yourself." Raven's voice interrupted her thoughts.

Raven's words confused her, not sure what she meant.

"The way you looked at that woman, it wasn't a happy face."

"It is none of your concern."

Anya returned her gaze to Lynn, her eyes kept following the elder until she disappeared into the barracks. She passed by Kensi who was sat outside the entrance and Anya could see she too had growing suspicions of the Elder. For a brief moment their eyes met, the General followed it with a slight nod, which Kensi returned then stood up and walked inside the barracks.

"Wow, I suddenly feel like James Bond."

A growl escaped Anya's lips, this girl really didn't know when to keep her mouth shut, as she concluded earlier today.

"Who is that?" Anya asked, then instantly cursed to herself for doing so instead of just leaving for the Barracks to get some sleep, she'd had enough of talking with Raven.

"James Bond?" Anya nodded for Raven to continue. "Oh, you know, back in the Ark we used to have these old movies from before the bombs and-"

The Skygirl stopped herself, realizing that Anya would have no idea what movies were. It would be tricky to explain and Anya's face showed she was not interested.

"Never mind." she muttered.

Anya sighed with relief and decided it was time to go to the barracks. She stood to her feet and looked at Raven, studying her for a moment while the younger girl did the same to her.

"Go visit our crafters tomorrow, Tekgada." she said and made the indication to leave, but then halted herself, glancing at Raven over her shoulder. "Nyc is a strong and wise man, you break his heart and I will break you."

And then she took her leave, giving Raven no chance to argue or deny any feelings she might have for the man. She sat down by the fire outside the barracks, returning the greeting of the two warriors who acknowledged their General. Now she would wait patiently for Lynn to leave and for Kensi to tell her what she has discovered.

* * *

Lexa donned her familiar shoulder guard and red sash. The brunette gave Clarke one last look, the blonde was still in a peaceful slumber. She smiled, wishing she could stay with her for longer but there was much to do today, the smile soon faded though to be replaced by her familiar stoic mask and the Commander then proceeded to leave her tent. Timor was expected back with news from Esta, training with her novitiates, several meetings that will no doubt last longer than they should and she planned to visit those who were still recovering from the attack on Arkadia.

But before all of that she was in need of a morning workout, so Lexa had silently gotten out of bed to get dressed in training gear and left Clarke to her dreams. The sound of clashing sword and warrior cheers grew louder with every step, it felt good to know that her warriors were already up and training at this hour. As she rounded the corner she spotted them circling the makeshift arena and encouraging whoever was fighting in it, it was too crowded to see who the sparing warriors were.

She could see Octavia among them standing with Vorgal, her eyes then briefly widened with surprise when she spotted Gia with none other than Tyler on her shoulders. The sight made her smile briefly but she quickly regained her Commander visage, inside though she was happy he was becoming more comfortable among other people. As she approached one of the observing warriors noticed her and moved to greet her but Lexa gestured that he and the others who also noticed her remain focused on the fight. Vorgal did step aside so that Lexa could get a good look on who were fighting and was slightly surprised to see Aden in there fighting with Senho.

She quickly connected the dots, it explained why Tyler was here and intently focused as it seemed to the two boys have become inseparable despite the short time they have known each other. From the corner of her eye she saw Tyler had switched his attention from the fight and was looking at her rather excitingly. But he made no intention to want to get off Gia's shoulders and it seemed that in the short time he had been here he had also learned that he could not just go to the Commander, that he should treat her with the same respect as everyone else did. Discipline likely drilled into his head by Rona and Aden but that didn't stop him from showing his excitement from Gia's shoulders.

Lexa could sense his eyes on her but she ignored him and focused her attention on the fight between Aden and the much older Senho. Lexa smirked, clearly recognizing Anya's training in Aden's fighting style, it was easily recognizable from his movement, which obviously wasn't really challenging for Senho, a scout with far more experience behind him than young Aden. The young boy still had a long way to go but his progression was quick compared to his first day after leaving Selin Village. There was no doubt that Anya was shaping him into a fine warrior.

Now stood among her warriors she too observed the fight. Senho's fist connected sharply with Aden's nose, snapping his head back. Blood dripped from his nose as but he simply wiped it away, regained his footing and refocused himself quickly enough to evade Senho's incoming sword.

Lexa watched the fight intently, both men not realizing they were being watched by their Commander. It wasn't an equal contest; everyone watching knew that, Senho was the one landing the majority of his attacks but Aden was not without his own offense, occasionally surprising Senho and landing a strike here and there, showing that he was indeed growing into a fine warrior.

Lexa recalled how she was sceptical back at Selin village, believing his mind was too damaged to still become a skilled warrior but she was glad now that Aden was proving her wrong. And as she was thinking highly of him she noticed him making what could've been a fatal mistake had the fight been more than just a training match, his form left him completely open on his right side which Senho had obviously seen as he kneed Aden hard and followed quickly with a strike to his forehead with the hilt of his sword. Aden fell hard to the ground with a loud grunt, more blood trickled down his face dripping into the mud. She could see Senho readying his next move and decided this was the moment to intervene.

"Enough, Senho." she said and his head jerked up in surprise at the sound of her voice. "Unless you want to be the one to explain to Anya why her second will have to spend the next two days with the healers."

Surprise turned into shock and Senho quickly stepped away and offered his Commander a respectful bow. The crowd fell silent as she stepped forward and helped Aden back on his feet. "What has Anya told you about your defense, Aden?" she asked him.

Aden coughed a few times and dusted himself off. He reached for his fallen sword and straightened himself before answering.

"That I leave myself open for counter attacks too often, Heda." he replied.

"And yet every hit you suffered is because you did just that, she will not be pleased."

He remained silent, doing his best to fight the nerves he no doubt felt at the thought of facing Anya today.

"Go see a healer before you report to her, Aden."

"Sha Heda."

He dipped his chin and scurried out of the arena. Lexa slightly chuckled and then pulled out her sword. She twirled it around a few times before scanning the crowd to pick her opponent.

"Okteivia, step op."

When deciding to join Lexa's warriors this morning the last thing she likely expected was to be challenged by the Commander herself, but she quickly shook off her surprise and did as Lexa commanded. The Commander studied her closely, bags lay under her eyes, her skin pale from the lack of sleep, she looked tired which wasn't surprising considering recent events. Much like Clarke she too must be having nightmares and it would explain why she was here now, training so that she could get her mind off things. It was for that very reason why Lexa picked her out, it was a good thing to help her get her mind off things. Octavia readied herself, sword aiming forward, doing her best not to appear nervous.

"Relax Octavia, do not hold back, that would only disappoint me." Lexa encouraged her.

Octavia showed she understood and Lexa immediately attacked her, not at full speed or strength but enough to ensure Octavia was focused, which she was because she sidestepped the attack. The following attacks were far stronger and faster, Octavia quickly found herself on the defensive, barely able to block Lexa's blows. The last one was crucial, Octavia lost her balance and fell backwards, the young girl froze when the tip of Lexa's sword was placed at her throat.

"Balance yourself better, Octavia, proper foot placement is key to winning a fight."

Lexa took a step back, allowing Octavia to get back to her feet and regain form. Now the Commander took a more defensive stance, Octavia began circling her, watching patiently to find the perfect opportunity to strike. After a few moments Lexa feigned a step to the left and was instantly disappointed that Octavia had taken the bait, she lunged forward in attempt to strike Lexa but she effortlessly sidestepped it and grabbed Octavia's wrist, quickly sweeping her leg and throwing her over her shoulder in swift fashion.

The Skygirl landed painfully on her back, coughing sharply as the air escaped her lungs, it took her a few seconds to regain her breath. She blinked as Lexa hovered over her. "I tricked you and you fell for it, keep your focus, Octavia." she said and helped the young woman back to her feet.

"Sha, Heda." Octavia said. "It's difficult, you're fast."

"Then become faster." Lexa offered in response.

She looked up at the crowd to see Kensi had joined them. Sparring with Kensi would actually be a challenge and she was curious to see how her skills had improved over the years. Lexa had seen her fight a few times now since her return and she wanted to put her skills to the test.

"Kensi, step op." She ordered her.

Kensi did as she was told and gave Octavia a comforting pat on the shoulders as they switched position in the practice arena. Lexa watched as the former spy readied herself, her eyes focused and body relaxed. It was obvious this would be a bigger challenge than fighting Octavia.

The two women started circling each other, Lexa deciding to patiently wait for Kensi to make the first move. As she did, Lexa easily deflected the sword with her own, then she pushed back and swung her sword at Kensi but, as Lexa expected, Kensi stepped back, easily avoiding the blade.

The Commander took a moment to alter her stance then quickly lunged at Kensi, she managed to evade Lexa's strike but could do nothing to avoid the hard kick that Lexa promptly followed with. With Kensi now flat on her back Lexa continued to show no hesitation and swung her sword down with pristine accuracy, leaving Kensi with no time to dodge, all she could do is block the blade with her own sword. Lexa continued to press down, her eyes intensely focused on her opponent wondering what she will do to get out of this situation.

Kensi launched a glancing punch to Lexa's head, she felt it but it was not enough to break her focus, Kensi readied a second hit but Lexa grabbed her wrist before she could get it off. She managed to break free of her Commander's grasp and strike her head once more, not a painful hit but enough to cause her to briefly lose pressure on her sword and that was all Kensi needed to knock away the blade and get back to her feet.

The warriors around them lightly cheered at Kensi, clearly surprised by her show of strength and agility, not expecting her to get out of the Commander's hold. Many of the warriors present were young and not very familiar with Kensi as she had spent the last few years with the Lake People. Seeing her matching the Commander in a fight for now hopefully was inspiring to them.

Lexa suddenly felt something trickling down her cheek. She wiped her hand over it and realized Kensi's last hit had done more than she expected and left her a small cut. She looked back to the warrior, not an shred of regret could be seen. Whereas the younger warriors would worry and hold back should they manage to hit the Commander in a duel, Kensi knew better and was aware that the Commander would only appreciate it; there is no such thing as holding back when dueling the Commander.

The fight continued with neither women holding back. It was almost equal, the difference in their abilities negligible, whenever one would be in a position to finally win the other would counter and recover. Lexa could feel the sweat dripping down the side of her head and her muscles were tiring, she couldn't be sure how long they had been at it, but it was quite some time by now. Her nose was bleeding, her lip was split, the cut on her cheek had worsened and she felt a few of her ribs increasingly ache with certain movements. Kensi too was in a similar state, bleeding from her eyebrow, nose and lips and Lexa was certain she had left a few cuts on her legs and one on her arm.

She evaded Kensi's next attack with a graceful twirl and slammed her elbow into the face of the former spy causing a grunt of pain as she staggered backwards. Moments later they were face to face again and Kensi gripped her nose, shook off the stinging pain and wiped away yet more blood. Lexa saw her grimace and let out a slight growl but knew it wasn't directed at her, but Kensi herself for realizing her mistake, leaving herself open for Lexa to strike.

As she waited for Kensi to recover, she spotted Clarke among the crowd and briefly wondered how she had not seen those beautiful blonde locks sooner, they stood out among all the darker attire everyone else wore. But as she thought this she was almost too late to see Kensi's fist coming at her. Lexa blocked it at the very last moment but was too late to avoid the follow up kick from Kensi, it forced Lexa down to one knee but quickly raised her sword up to block Kensi's incoming attack; Lexa cursed herself for being so easily distracted by Clarke. She is the Commander, this may be a sparring match but she refused to lose. It was time to end this fight.

It went so swiftly, Lexa almost made it look like she had been holding back the entire time. With her free hand she delivered a powerful uppercut to Kensi's jaw, causing her to stumble back. Lexa rushed back to her feet and delivered a flurry of rapid attacks to her opponent. All Kensi could do was step back with every strike,barely blocking the attacks, not being able to match the speed at which the Commander was attacking her. She tried pushing back, but Lexa only countered it and with Kensi's last attempt to strike Lexa seized hold of her wrist, sliced it with pristine precision causing Kensi to drop her sword and let out a great cry of pain. The Commander gave her no time to recover, she delivered a punch to her already injured jaw, quickly followed by a second punch to Kensi's gut and then stepped to the side, and with a strong kick to the back of her legs forced Kensi down to her knees. Lexa moved behind Kensi, wrapping her arm around Kensi's neck and with the tip of her sword inches from her cheek; the fight was finally over.

Kensi chuckled slightly. "Okay, Heda, I yield." she said and her words were immediately followed by cheers from the crowd.

Those cheers all fell to the background as Lexa proudly eyed Clarke, who in turn gave Lexa a teasing smile and mouthed "show off" at her. Lexa just smiled back, then holding out her hand to Kensi to help her back to her feet.

"You have greatly improved since the day you set off to the Lake People, Kensi. Not only your fighting skills excel, but overall you have grown as a person. I am proud to have you back here with us again, back where you belong." she compliments the young woman.

Her words made Kensi beam with pride, her shoulders straightened as she faced her Commander. "Mochof Heda, it is an honor to serve you." she said.

"Good, come see me tonight when both our duties for the day have been completed." Lexa said.

Kensi dipped her chin and then made her way out of the arena. Lexa faced the surrounding warriors, who were either cheering her on or discussing the fight amongst themselves.

"Go back to your duties or pair up for training, I do not want to see anyone here without a sword in their hands. This practice arena has no place for small talk." she ordered her warriors.

A series of "sha Heda." echoed around her and the warriors instantly did what was said. Most of them paired up and started training but she saw Gia, Aden and Tyler walk away, likely to drop Tyler back off at Rona's before they would report to their mentors.

Lexa made her way back to her own tent, Clarke stepping next to her, hand lightly brushing hers as they fell into a comfortable silence. But not before Clarke softly muttered the words "show off" once more at Lexa. Lexa just shrugged innocently and the rest of their journey to Lexa's tent was done in silence. But as soon as they walked inside Clarke grabbed her arms and directed her to the edge of the bed, telling her to take off her shirt while she went to grab a bowl of water and a few pieces of cloth.

Lexa watched her closely when Clarke reached for her hands and started dipping the wet cloth on her bloodied and bruised knuckles.

"Is this going to be a habit of ours? You training and me taking care of your injuries afterwards?"

Just two days ago they had been in the exact same situation, only that morning Lexa had fought against four warriors. Warriors who, according to Anya, had shown a lot of promise and Lexa had wanted to put that to the test. They had been formidable indeed, the four of them putting up a good fight against their Commander but in the end she had beaten them all and made sure to remind them that just because they outnumber someone it didn't mean they would win the fight. That morning Lexa had a few battered knuckles as well, but also a slightly strained shoulder and a cut above her eyebrow. Clarke had taken care of her then, just as she is doing now.

"I would like for our roles to be reversed, when will you begin your training again?" she asked the blonde.

"Actually, I was thinking of asking Kensi to give me a few knife throwing lessons, as that had been your intention to do before everything happened." Clarke said, the tone in her voice slightly saddened.

"I'm sure she wouldn't mind." Lexa said.

They fell into a comfortable silence while Clarke cleaned her knuckles and then moved on the the cut on her cheek. Lexa watched her closely, admiring how beautiful she looked when she was worried for Lexa's well-being. But she suddenly saw the mood in her eyes switch, something was on her mind and whatever it was, Clarke combined it with doubt, clearly not sure if she should bring it up. It made Lexa smile at how easy she could read her lover, but she didn't want Clarke to hold back what was on her mind, she wanted her to know that she could say anything to her.

"What is on your mind, Clarke?" she asked, reaching for her hand to offer comfort.

Clarke offered her a kind smile, probably not surprised to see Lexa had read her so well.

"Now that Emerson has been dealt with, what are you planning to do to get Polis back?" she asked.

"It will depend on the result of what happened in Esta, I am expecting Timor to return anytime now with a full report." she said.

Clarke nodded. "And when we do." Clarke said and Lexa loved thad she didn't say if, instead of when. It showed she was confident and had confidence in Lexa. "Will you reunite the clans again? Even though their leaders have betrayed you?"

"When I regain control of Polis, the current Clan leaders will be executed, their betrayal is inexcusable. A new offer will be made to those who replace them and if they refuse I will do anything I can to make them see their mistake. It will be just how it was when I first made the Coalition." she explained. "But if they are wise they will see how all of those clans prospered under my Coalition, there was peace and trade, those who prefer war over peace are fools and no better than Nia."

She felt anger boil up inside her, mentioning the name of her enemy. This woman had caused the death of so many people all because she holds a grudge against Lexa and her people, because she wants to be the one to rule them all. All she knows is greed and power and Lexa will be glad when Nia takes her final breath, preferably by her doing. Just thinking about this woman made her sick to her stomach, she wanted the woman out of her mind and decided to tell Clarke a bit of her history when she was creating the Coalition.

"Did you know, Clarke, that there was another clan I offered to join my Coalition, a thirteenth Clan?"

Clarke looked intrigued, raising an eyebrow in curiosity. "I didn't, but I assume they declined your offer, as there are only twelve of them." she said.

"You assume correctly." Lexa answered.

"What happened?"

"They live to the West of the Blue Cliff and south of the Plain Riders. A proud people that live only to fight, I was told once that their children are to wield a sword from the age of three. I met with their leader, but he refused my offer. Said their people could fend for themselves and didn't need outsider help. They keep to themselves and a dangerous river that goes on for miles separates them from Blue Cliff and the Plain Riders. Queen Nia was putting a lot of pressure on our own borders, I had to leave it at that and also respected his decision, they have never ventured outside of their lands. Still I ordered Blue Cliff and Plain Riders to keep a close watch on the river, reporting anything suspicious but the man had stayed true to his words and till this day no one has crossed the river."

She flinched slightly when the piece of cloth was gently placed on her lips but Clarke didn't hold back and just chuckled at Lexa. "It's just a small cut, Lexa, don't be a baby." she joked.

Lexa huffed at her words. "I am the Commander, not a baby." she said back.

"A Commander who flinches at a small cut, what would your people say." she continued her teasing.

"They respect their Commander." Lexa answered.

It made Clarke chuckle before the two fell into a short silence again, which Clarke eventually broke.

"Would you go back?" she asked.

"Where to?"

"Go back to that Clan and offer them to join you again?"

Lexa shook her head. "No. There were several bridges that allowed our people to cross the river, they had a small Alliance with Blue Cliff, but the first report I received back was that their leader had destroyed all the bridges, it would be a difficult task to cross that river, impossible with an army. They prefer to be sealed off from the rest of the world, I respect that." she explained.

Before their conversation could continue, a voice sounded from outside.

"Heda, Timor has returned." Senho's familiar voice sounded.

Clarke sighed deeply in disappointment, not happy that their time together was again being cut short. But she knew by now that Lexa was always the Commander first and should time allow it they will be Clarke and Lexa together. She stepped away and put the bowl aside.

"I will be there in a moment, take him to the council chambers." Lexa said while she put her shirt back on, followed by her coat and red sash, which Clarke helped her put on as she coupled the clasp that kept it together.

"Come, Clarke. Let's see what news Timor brings about Esta."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That is chapter 15 done. A slight warning in advance, I will be going on holiday soon, which will decrease my time to write so it might be a while before the next chapter is posted, please don't be too angry, I can offer cake or pie as reconciliation. :D
> 
> A slightly interesting side note, maybe ;). The bottle Anya picked up with the text 'The Baton, to be remembered on earth' is something I took from the last episode of Season 4, for those who still watch the show. The text in the show was slightly different, I decided to alter it a bit. :)
> 
> Also, there will be a bit of a time jump in the next chapter.


	16. Fis op en Chichplei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some smut. A few people talk things through and Lexa presents an interesting offer to Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, I am still here. Sorry it took so long (again). Life keeps me busy as always and I caught the flu, twice even. :(  
> But yeah no idea when the next update will be as life continues to be busy, but I will not abandon this story.
> 
> Thanks everyone for all your support, it keeps being a big motivator to write. Enjoy the next chapter I really hope it was worth the wait for you all. :)

Lexa studied the back of the sleeping beauty beside her, fingers trailing the perfectly applied patterns on her back. It must have been about two months since the day Clarke told her she wanted a tattoo, her eyes lay upon one tattoo Clarke asked for to remember all the innocent lives she had taken. The tattoo rested between her shoulder blades, three shapes, each representing an event in which Clarke was forced to take a lot of lives in order to protect her people. Delicate fingers first traced over the square, it represented the dropship and all of the Trikru warriors she killed there. Lexa took a moment to remember her fallen warriors.

She quickly diverted her eyes to the next pattern; a triangle, which stood for Mount Weather. It was terrible what Clarke was forced to resort to free her people, and it was a result of Lexa's betrayal at the mountain, even now she still felt terrible for her actions. The final shape was a circle;  
Clarke had explained it was for TonDC, for the people that had been sacrificed so they could continue their plans for the attack on the mountain. All three events had taught Clarke what it meant to lead, that a leader will have to make difficult and regrettable decisions, something she was aware of now more than ever but it was good of her to remember and honor those moments with this tattoo.

With this in mind her fingers traced over the text that had been written in a circle around the shapes, Clarke had explained to her that it's a verse that her people say when someone's fight is over or is near its end. It sounded beautiful and the delicate handwriting used to permanently put it there only added to its beauty. The tattoo wasn't complete yet, but Clarke herself had several ideas on what to add to it but so far was undecided on which would permanently hold a place on her body.

And so Lexa moved her gaze once more to admire another piece of art that Wilson had inked upon Clarke's body, this one to remember the people she had lost when Arkadia was destroyed. She could only see part of it from where she lay, the letters "dia" adorned a wing of a Hawk, Clarke's choice of bird she felt was fitting for the tattoo. She gently ran her fingers over the outline of the wing, it was a fine piece of work from Wilson.

She let her fingers trail down to Clarke's right forearm where she had let Wilson draw a tattoo to remember her father. But before she had a chance to admire it she felt the blonde stir with a soft yawn escaping her lips. Her eyes opened as she turned over and Lexa smiled at the beautiful woman now facing her.

"Hei." Clarke said, her voice still sounding hoarse.

"Hei." Lexa replied, planting a gentle kiss on her lips.

Clarke hummed to the soft feel of the brunette's lips, Lexa saw her eyes close for a few moments before they reopened to be met with hers. "Why are you already up? The sun has yet to rise, Lexa."

"So I can do this."

She leaned forward, wrapping an arm around Clarke and rolling her onto her back. Lexa's eyes filled with desire and the heat between their bodies rose as she eyed the beautiful body below her, now with the other side of the Hawk tattoo visible Lexa planted a gentle kiss on it. Last night they had been making love but Clarke was the far more active of the two and they both had drifted off to their dreams before Lexa could return the favour. Now though, well rested and refreshed she was determined to give the blonde all the pleasure she gave her the night before, and more. She felt herself stir with passion as she eyed the full breasts below her, leaning down instantly to take one of Clarke's nipples in her mouth.

She sucked on it, grazed her teeth over it. Clarke moaned below her and Lexa didn't hesitate to move her lips to the other nipple, giving it just as much attention. The brunette could feel Clarke's legs tighten together, enjoying the playful bites and licks on her breasts. As Lexa released her lips from the nipple, she began to massage Clarke's breasts and then leaned forward and planted a passionate kiss on her lips. She pushed her tongue inside and let it dance with Clarke's, smirking when she heard the beautiful woman below her moan once more while Lexa continued kissing and massaging her breasts.

Lexa pulled away for a moment, "Hmm, there certainly are worse ways to wake up this early in the morning." Clarke said with a smile

Lexa didn't utter a word, simply smiled then began to kiss down Clarke's neck, sucking and licking, being careful to not leave a mark. Much to her delight she could hear the blonde's moans of pleasure and continued to move further down her body. She massaged Clarke's breasts as she passionately nipped and licked her stomach.

"Leksa." she hears Clarke pant, hips moving up, practically begging for more.

"Sha, hodness?" Lexa asked through her kisses.

"Please don't stop."

Lexa looked up to find hazy blue eyes begging her. It made the Commander smile. "I wasn't planning on it." she said and continued exploring Clarke's body.

The brunette moved further down, while she was careful to not leave any marks where others could see them; in more intimate places shared between only them she was not so gentle, the area between her breasts, and just below them. With every mark she left the pleasurable moans only encouraged her to continue, but she stopped when her lips were just a couple of inches away from Clarke's center, close enough to feel the touch of Lexa's breath there. Her gaze shifted to the blonde's only to notice they were closed; she was thoroughly enjoying the treatment Lexa was giving her.

"Look at me, meizen." she said and her eyes instantly opened. "Watch me take care of you." Lexa added and she could see Clarke take a couple of deep breaths and bite her lower lip at Lexa's words.

Once Lexa was certain she had Clarke's attention she moved down, lips finally meeting with her center. "Fuck." she heard Clarke cry out as soon as her tongue found its way between her folds.

"Leksa." Clarke begged and Lexa felt how the blonde tightly pulled at her hair.

It barely hurt and it was only confirmation to Lexa that she was doing the right thing. It wasn't like this was the first time they had sex. They have shared intimacy since the last two weeks for several nights. There was no denying now that they loved each other and were willing to show this to each other whenever time allowed.

She felt Clarke shudder as her tongue slowly explored the more sensitive parts that she knew will push Clarke closer to the edge . She heard her cries of pleasure with every twist and twirl of her tongue, probably loud enough for the guards outside to wish they weren't there. Lexa could feel Clarke was close to reaching her climax, but she wanted to delay it as much as she could, much to Clarke's dismay.

"Leksa, beja." Clarke was practically begging. "Mou… gaf mou… "

Lexa always likes it when Clarke speaks trigedasleng during sex, it turned her on and the words made Lexa moan into Clarke's center. Wanheda has just begged the Commander for more, who was she to deny the wishes of Wanheda? And so she moved her tongue up, flicking it over Clarke's clit, which was rewarded with another loud moan. But Lexa didn't stop and her lips wrapped around her clit, sucking it gently. Clarke is now a trembling mess, sweating heavily, writhing on the furs as Lexa's tongue danced away inside her. She was so close, shouting all manner of Gonasleng curses, curses Lexa had heard many times before during their passionate nights.

Clarke pulled at her hair again as her teeth grazed over the clit and from the way the blonde jerks and shudders Lexa knows she could come anytime now. Her eyes shift up quickly, ensuring that the blonde was still looking at her and she was satisfied to see a pair of passionate blue eyes staring back at her.

"Come for me, meizen." Lexa says and the words alone made Clarke gasp.

Lexa cherishes how Clarke tastes as the blonde is becoming wetter by the second. Moaning and crying out as Lexa tongue keeps exploring Clarke's center, moving inside and then back out again to suck and nip at her clit.

And then finally Clarke found release. Finally she heard the moans and felt the shudders that combine as the blonde was living through her orgasm. She felt Clarke pull at her hair with every breath and Lexa just gently stroked her tongue through Clarke's folds, helping her ride out her orgasm. When she finally stopped shaking, Lexa moved away from her center and pushed herself up for a lingering kiss, practically forcing the blonde to taste herself.

"Hmmm." Clarke moaned into the kiss. "That was… really something."

Lexa smirks and pulls away from the kiss. "I know." she said.

Clarke gives her a playful slap against the shoulder. "Don't be smug." she teased the brunette.

Lexa just raised an eyebrow at her. "Smug? Like you were last night?"

The words made Clarke blush slightly. "I know not of what you speak."

Her words only increased the mischievous smirk on Lexa's faces, she knew the blonde hadn't noticed her hand slowly trailing across the furs.

"Really now?" she asked Clarke.

But from the look in her eyes Clarke could already see that Lexa was up to something.

"What are you- oh God!"

Before the blonde had time to realize, Lexa had slipped two fingers inside of Clarke, who was taken completely by surprise.

"Fuck!"

The Gonasleng curses continued again as Lexa found a steady pace to pump her fingers inside the beautiful woman below her.

"As I recall, you pleasured me twice last night, it is only fitting I return the favor." Lexa breathed in her ear before nibbing at Clarke's earlobe.

"Well then, fuck me already." the blonde exclaimed as she moved her hips searching for that sensitive touch.

But Lexa wouldn't allow it and pushed her down, the fingers inside Clarke hardly moving around and purposely avoiding all the sensitive spots.

"Patience Clarke." she said with a teasing grin.

"I don't recall teasing you last night."

Lexa just shook her head. "You recall this wrong." she said and remembered vividly how Clarke teased her and dragged out her orgasm for as long as she could.

"Beja, Leksa." the blonde said, resorting to Trigedasleng, knowing that it made Lexa weak and unable to resist the blonde.

"Clarke… " her tone sensual.

"Jok ai, Leksa kom Trikru, beja jok ai."

The words made Lexa shudder and without realizing she did what Clarke begged of her. She twirled her fingers expertly, earning a satisfied moan with each twist. They increased when Lexa wrapped her free hand around one of her breasts and sucked at the skin, if she can't win this contest, she might as well leave behind marks and was pleased to hear another loud cry of pleasure escape the blonde's lips.

As she sucked on Clarke's tender breast, she rubbed her clit with increasing vigor. She felt the blonde beauty beneath her tremble as the pleasure slowly overtook her, the mumbled curses follow once again until she reached her climax. She came a second time. This time far stronger, which caused her body to sit up right. She grabbed Lexa's body, taking in the feeling of her pristine smooth skin as she rode the wave of her orgasm; the feeling that rushed through her body right now was almost indescribable. Her cries of pleasure were possibly loud enough that TonDC may have heard them, Lexa didn't care, she continued the sensuous movements of her fingers until finally Clarke collapsed back onto the furs, breathing heavily from the rush of pleasure she had just experienced.

"There's that smug smile again." Clarke softly mumbled while catching her breath.

"You are exhausted, the favor is returned, Klark." Lexa states with a proud and confident grin.

Clarke mirrors Lexa's smugness. "I thought you were going to take your time, the second round." she teases the brunette.

The smugness soon fell from her face. "You cheated." she said somewhat disappointed that Clarke took advantage of her weakness, but nevertheless leaned down to capture her lips either way.

"Hmm, if you say so." the blonde muttered, her exhaustion was obvious.

"Let's go back to sleep."

Lexa placed a kiss on her forehead and leaned over to the furs to cover both their bodies. For a few moments it looked like Clarke was about to protest, probably worried that they will oversleep but she gave in and closed her eyes while she wrapped her arms around the blonde, holding her tightly. If they would not wake up on their own, the guards outside will wake them. But it was still early and a few more hours of sleep wouldn't hurt them.

They fell into an easy slumber and when Lexa woke up again, she was greeted by the dim light of an early morning and light rain drops on her tent, she knew it was time to get up and prepare for the days duties. Before waking Clarke she wrapped herself in her coat and walked to her tent's entry, ordering the two sentries to bring her a bath. A short while later several attendants followed by Deiza entered with a steaming bath. The older woman gently smiled at Lexa who was sitting upright against the headboard of the bed, slowly rubbing Clarke's skull, ensuring that both of them were still covered by the furs.

She greeted her Commander "Heya, Heda." and indicated to the attendants where to set down the bath. "You slept well I see." she added teasingly taking a quick glance at Clarke. Deiza's teasing tone caused a slight blush on her, the other present attendants taken aback by the ease of her conduct to her Commander. They were clearly unaware that Lexa had known Deiza since she became a novitiate and she would even call the woman her friend. Her boldness towards Lexa was allowed here, but not in public where Deiza always behaved accordingly, which surprised the other attendants, who still looked young.

"Yes, I slept well Deiza, thank you. I would appreciate your discretion." She then switched her gaze to the attendants, her eyes instantly turned from gentle to stern.

They instantly nodded, assuring her they would be discreet and then scurried outside. Deiza paused before leaving, glancing at Lexa one more time. "Breakfast will be prepared in the council chambers, for the meeting with the Clans." Lexa nodded without a word, Deiza dipped her chin and took her leave. There was still an hour before the meeting and the bath was still too hot to get in so there she stayed, comfortably covered in bed, gently soothing the beauty beside her as she ran through the days plans in her mind. The meeting in particular weighed heavy on her mind, there was something of great importance to discuss but first she wanted to bring it up with Clarke as it concerned the remaining of her people. Afterwards she planned to visit Rylan, ever since Esta had been retaken two months ago and his son was safely back with him, their friendship had started to slowly mend and she would occasionally visit him and his son. He lived in a hut that belonged to a young man who had recently bonded with his lover and were now living together in his lover's hut, there was no longer a need for the two men to keep the other and they had told Rylan he was free to live in it until the war was over.

After visiting Rylan she will spend some time training her novitiates and then the rest of her day is free until dinner, she is considering filling that gap with training Clarke. The blonde had increased her fighting ability considerably over the past two months, almost matching Octavia, the two would often duel together to test their skills. If Lexa had no time to train it had been Kensi who trained her, or Indra if she decided to train together with Octavia. Surprisingly, a few weeks ago some of the Skaikru had come to see her and requested training. Only a few guns had survived the destruction of Arkadia, mostly those who had been on the search for Clarke, and some now wanted to learn how to fight like the Grounders.

Lexa didn't see any harm in it and had set Lincoln, Senho and Vorgal to the task of training them. Those who requested training were Nathan Miller, Zoe Monroe and Harper McIntyre. According to Lincoln they had showed progression and Senho had added that Miller especially seemed exceptionally good and would shape into a fine warrior someday. Lexa had watched them train a few times and from what she had seen could only agree with Senho's assessment.

"Don't think too hard, you might hurt a muscle."

The Commander was slightly startled by Clarke's words, being away in thought she didn't realize the blonde had awakened. Clarke sat herself up against the headboard as well and leaned in to steal a kiss.

"I was just thinking on how Nathan Miller is doing well in training." she confessed.

"Yeah Octavia said Lincoln noticed it too." Lexa saw her eyes roam to the tub in front of them. "When was that brought in?"

"Not long ago, I am leaving it to cool to the right temperature, there is actually something I want to discuss regarding your people before we get ready."

Clarke gave her a questionable look. "Don't tell me they have been misbehaving again?" she said sounding worried.

Lexa immediately shook her head in assurance. "No, the reports have been exemplary since you spoke with them, your people are fine, Clarke." she explained.

"Then what is it?" she wondered.

"I have a proposition for you and your people, I have been thinking about this for some time now and I think today's meeting is the perfect moment to bring it up." she explained.

"Bring what up, Lexa?" sounding increasingly curious.

"I would like for your people, to become my people. I would like for them to assimilate into Trikru and thus becoming part of the Coalition."

Lexa eyed her with caution, studying her reaction closely. The first thing she noticed was how her eyes widened in surprise, then they shifted left to right, finally registering Lexa's words, her lips parted before their eyes finally met again.

"Lexa, do you realize what you're asking?" Clarke asked.

She nodded. "Yes, Clarke. I do. Your home has been destroyed, there are only a few dozen of you left, that is not enough to find yourselves a new place to live and guarantee your safety, even after we win this war, you will become a target if you stay to yourselves with this small group. If you assimilate into Trikru, you will be under my protection, under the protection of the Coalition I will be able to guarantee your safety. But I will not force this upon your people, it is an offer that they are free to accept or decline, this goes for your adults as well as your children, they are all free to choose. But if they choose not to they will still be free to live where they want as long as it is with the consent of the leader of the lands, but they should keep in mind they will not be protected, they will be on their own." she explained.

Clarke's lips parted to say something, but nothing came. She was shocked, completely taken by surprise. Lexa linked their fingers together and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek to help the blonde recover from her surprise.

"Have you discussed this with anyone else?" Clarke asked with trembling lips.

"No, just you, but it is something I would like to present in the meeting today so we can see what Kane as well as the other Clan leaders will think of the offer." she said, Kane had been present in the last few council meetings since he had recovered enough to attend them, which Clarke did on her own until then.

Clarke's mother, rather surprisingly, had handed the role of Chancellor to Kane and said she wanted to focus more on her role as healer and no doubt her therapy to help her walk properly again. Making Kane Chancellor was something Clarke had wanted to bring up before, she expected her mother to resist but was pleasantly surprised when it was Abby herself who came up with the suggestion.

"I... " Clarke started. "I don't think words can express how honored I feel for you to present my people with this offer Lexa, personally I will take it in a heartbeat. But I'm not so sure the rest of my people will, there are some who may reject, I fear my mother will be among them." she said worried.

Lexa shook her head. "Your mother has had a difficult time accepting that those in charge are younger than she, but she has been adjusting and showing progress, I am certain you can convince her." she stated.

She pulled Clarke towards her, placing a kiss to her forehead, letting Clarke rest her chin on her shoulder. "Do you think the remaining clans would allow it?" she asked.

"Luna and Uzac might be hesitant, but the remaining would not object, nor would I believe Indra would reject as Trikru leader."

"Luna, are you sure?"

Lexa nodded. "Yes, Luna stands for peace, your people have done a lot to worry her, she would not be certain your people will respect our laws. Which I too believe will be a struggle at first, but with your guidance and that of Kane, I believe in time you will assimilate within our people perfectly."

Clarke sighed but then nodded. "Okay… " she said. "Okay let's first see how the council and Kane react." she said.

"I agree, one step at the time." Lexa said and threw the furs back, exposing their naked skin to the chill of the room. "Now come, we should bathe before breakfast with the council."

* * *

 

"Clarke, you knew of this?"

The meeting had ended and everyone was talking amongst themselves. Kane gently guided her to the side of the room by her elbow. He was of course referring to Lexa's offer for their people to become Trikru.

"She told me this morning, I had no idea before then, honestly." Clarke assured him.

Lexa had been right with her assumption earlier this morning. Only Uzac and Luna had been hesitant about this. Uzac especially had brought up several incidents that had occured in the previous month, but since then nothing had happened and her people had been behaving exemplary. Who surprised her the most was Murphy, he was never a fan of the Grounders in the past and yet he was proving to be one of the most behaved of Skaikru towards Trikru. It really amazed her how he had changed into the man he is now. He had killed out of revenge; he was responsible for partially crippling Raven and had been tortured relentlessly by Grounders twice. Yet here he was, spending most of his time with the attendants, not shying away from helping them in the kitchen, he seemed to have found a passion for cooking. Whenever he was on shift in there he would make meals he had read about from before the bombs dropped, if the Grounders had the ingredients for it that is. They were good meals and even the Grounders seemed to enjoy them.

She was pleased to see him enjoying himself and he wasn't the only one, most of her people have been adjusting well. Raven among them, in the first month she had been spending a lot of time at the blacksmith but she was concerned for the young mechanic, lately it seemed as though she was closing herself off from people. Clarke remembered it happening after an incident with Nyc, it seemed the brunette was unable to come to terms with her feelings towards the Trikru ambassador.

"Some of our people will not accept this, it will take effort to convince your mother of this." Kane said.

Clarke agreed, it would be difficult for her mother. Their cultures are different, while her mother was settling nicely in TonDC it didn't mean that she always agreed with what happened here. Especially the ruthless training sessions and teaching children how to fight is something that troubles her. Clarke had difficulty with this too at first, remembering what happened to Tris, but this is their culture, this is the life they are in now that they are on the ground. In space they survived by rationing, allowing couples only one child and floating people for the smallest of crimes. Here children are being taught how to fight, here all they know is fighting to survive and if that meant they had to cross certain borders for it during training, they would do so.

As the Grounders say; what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

Apart from her mother, she knew of a young couple that had managed to escape Arkadia's wreckage on their own had trouble coming to terms with the Grounders. They had witnessed the ruthlessness of Azgeda and have difficulty seeing past the fact that not all Grounders are alike, even though Lexa's people had been more than helpful in the rescue efforts. They have taken two kids from around the age of twelve under their wing and their dislike towards Grounders seems to be rubbing off on them. They keep to themselves, stay near their own hut for most of the day and try to interact with the locals as little as possible.

Clarke and Kane had tried talking to them on occasion but they seemed reluctant and unwilling to adjust. While they cause little to no trouble, they prefer to keep to themselves and not interact with any of the Grounders.

"Yes, my mother, Malcolm, Ying, Jesse and Yelena." She agreed with Kane. "I think my mom will come around, especially if the both of us agree to it. But the others, I doubt anything we say will convince them." Clarke admitted.

"I'm afraid so, yes." Kane nodded. "We should hold a meeting tonight, make sure they know of this as soon as possible before rumor starts to spread."

"I agree."

"Good, I'll pass it on to our people, I believe you have work to do." he smirked.

Clarke chuckled, he was right. For a few weeks now she was working as a healer at Nyko's side. Not only because she wanted to learn more of Grounder medicine but also because she wanted to be at her mother's side during the recovery of her leg. She wanted to help her mother as much as she could and assisted her in all the physical therapy sessions she held together with Nyko. That way they could learn from Nyko and Nyko could learn from them, both having different knowledge when it came to healing.

"I do, yes. I have a therapy session with my mother and Nyko soon. Thanks for arranging the meeting, Marcus, I will see you tonight then."

He smiled at her and then slowly limped out of the building. He too was still recovering from his injuries, but unlike her mother he would have no permanent damage apart from some scars. She followed after him, quickly glancing at Lexa who seemed to be engaged in deep conversation with Uzac, likely trying to quell the worries he has regarding Skaikru becoming Trikru. As Clarke made her way to the medical hut she wondered if she should tell her mother about Lexa's plan already or if she should wait until the meeting later today.

She walked inside and noticed neither her mother or Nyko had arrived yet. Instead of idly waiting for them she decided to do inventory on the herbs, something she planned to do anyway. As she counted the different stacks of herbs, her thoughts drifted off to last night and this morning, to how she had been intimate with the woman she loves. Clarke enjoyed how they were growing closer together each day but the time was nearing where they would have to reveal their relationship towards the Council. Rumors were already spreading, whenever she was with Lexa in public her own mother would eye her with suspicion and whenever either Anya or Lynn saw a chance, they would scowl at her.

Clarke couldn't believe that so many people would see their love as weakness. From where she sees it, love could only mean strength. Not just by the way they love each other, but love unites people, it brings people closer together and can make them so much stronger. But luckily there were those among Lexa's people who agreed. Kensi had always been supportive of their relationship and she was almost certain Luna knew about them as well, as she had walked into them kissing once, and hadn't said a word but only smiled.

She heard someone entering and looked up to see Nyko walking in.

"Hei, Klark."

"Hei, Nyko. Didn't we have five stacks of dreamroot two days ago?" she asked him.

He nodded. "We did, but I recall Rona asking if she could get some for Tyler, he has been having trouble sleeping again." he explained.

She recalled this too, Rona would always put a bit of it in his tea to help him sleep. The herb could be compared to an aspirin, but one had to be careful with the dosage, or you could really knock someone out. For a child the dosage would have to be even smaller, but Clarke was well aware that Rona knew what she was doing.

"I'll check with her just to be sure." Nyko said just as Abby came hobbling inside, leaning heavily on the cane she had unfortunately become attached to.

Clarke returned the smile her mother offered as the older woman seated herself on a chair, not hiding the relief she felt to get off her feet, even if for a short time.

"You alright?" Clarke asked her mother, passing her a cup of water.

"Just a bit tired, give me a moment." Abby said and then happily took a few sips from the cup.

Clarke gave her mother the time she needed to recover and then she and Nyko continued the work they had started three weeks ago. Stretching, walking exercises to measure how far she could walk unaided. Little by little they tested her muscle strength, her nerves to assess the damage but fortunately she had been showing progress. Only once or twice at the beginning had her mother given up and thrown herself in a chair, the frustration getting to her. But everytime Clarke had firmly talked to her mother and convinced her to keep going, knowing she would do the same for Clarke had their roles been reversed.

And now, ever since that conversation, every session they had went better and better. The limp in her leg decreased bit by bit but just as Clarke feared, she doubted if it would ever go away. But right now the priority was getting her walking without a cane and that goal did not look close yet. Clarke did notice Abby had been spending more time than usual with Raven, even though Abby was a doctor and had given the bad news to the young mechanic, she likely felt some comfort in hearing how Raven lived with a limp, now that she most likely will too.

In conversation during the therapy sessions she would sometimes ask her mother about it, or how Kane was doing, or how they were doing settling in TonDC. Always light conversation; nothing too tense or serious. However as the session was coming to a close, she was packing her things away when she heard her mother ask Nyko for some privacy so she could talk to her daughter. Her entire body tensed up, she watched almost in horror as Nyko nodded and turned to leave the two women alone, inside she was practically begging for an interruption. Clarke purposely avoided her mother's gaze as the exhausted woman slowly seated herself in a chair. Whatever her mother wanted to talk about she was sure it wouldn't be good and more than likely end in an argument.

"Clarke, would you look at me." she heard her mother say.

The blonde sighed and went to sit on the edge of a supply crate, she knew she could no longer avoid her mother's gaze and their eyes finally locked together.

"What, mom?" almost sneering at her mother.

"I just want to know how you have been doing lately, the last few months has been tough on all of us, that includes you." Abby said.

How Clarke wished this was all her mother wanted to talk about, but she knew her mother's habits well enough to know she was just building up to something that had been bothering her.

"I am managing, like everyone else, mom." She said, and it was the truth. She could have added that Lexa helped her with this a lot but felt it best to leave that part out for now.

Her mother reached for her arm, gently pulling it up and pushing up her sleeve to let her fingers linger on the initials of her father that had been permanently inked there. She studied the tattoo, Clarke saw her mother's eyes fill with tears, guilt clearly visible in them. The tattoo had only been completed two weeks ago and in that time her mother hadn't had a chance to take a good look at it. Clarke reached for her hand, long passed the anger she once held for her mother and gave it a comforting squeeze.

Multiple cogs of various sizes intricately entwined with each other around a circle with several screw heads dotted around between them. Neatly etched lettering of a familiar brand sat centered at the bottom, it was her Father's watch, one that was seized and lost in Mount Weather. The watch lay on a bed of stars with the initials J.G beneath it.

"It's beautiful." her mother said, fingers now exploring the rest of the tattoo.

A silence fell between them. Abby was right, it did look beautiful, Wilson had done a good job not just with this one but with the other two tattoos as well. It was the perfect way to remember her father and to her it now felt even more like she always carried a piece of him with her. She blinked a few times, feeling her eyes watering. Clarke quickly cleared her throat and tried to lighten the mood, unwilling to talk about him anymore right now with her mother.

"You're not going to tell me you want one too, are you?" Clarke somewhat joked.

It made her mother chuckle and wipe away a few tears that had found their escape. "Don't worry Clarke, I don't want one." she reassured her daughter.

"Good, because as your daughter I wouldn't allow it anyways, you're too old for a tattoo." she continued joking, glad that she was able to lighten the mood.

Her mother shrugged. "I'm not old, Clarke." she defended herself.

"I didn't say you were, just said you're too old for a tattoo." she said with a smile.

"Then maybe I should get one after all, to prove you wrong."

Clarke cringed at the thought of her mother having a tattoo, which only made Abby laugh. As her laughter slowly died down, there were a few moments of silence between them again before Abby got hold of Clarke's head and gently rubbed her cheeks with her thumbs. A curious expression formed on her face, happily emotional but with a sense of seriousness.

"I love you so much, Clarke. I hope you know that." her mother said and Clarke only nodded, knowing this was the part of the conversation where it takes a turn and the argument would gradually build. "And you have grown into such a strong woman, but I… I am still your mother and I still worry about you… "

Clarke grabbed her mother's hands and guided them down, but kept holding them together. "I know that mom, I would be disappointed if you didn't worry about me." she explained.

Abby nodded. "Can I ask you something then, as your mother?"

Clarke sighed but nodded.

"You and Lexa, are you… together?" she asked, Clarke clenched her teeth together, hoping she wouldn't have to have this conversation for a while yet.

"I guess you've heard the rumors?" Clarke asked her mother, not admitting to anything yet.

"I've heard them, yes." her mother confirmed. "But I didn't need to hear them, I've seen how you two are together."

Clarke frowned. "Seen us together? Mom, we have been doing our best to hide it in public."

She saw her mother's eyes widen and immediately realized the mistake she made. She had just admitted to her mother that she is in a relationship with the leader of the Grounders.

"Shit… " she muttered under her breath.

She heard her mother chuckle at Clarke's realization and squeezed her hands in comfort, stating to her daughter that she shouldn't worry. But Clarke wasn't convinced and pulled her hands away, wrapping her arms around herself for protection.

"You are my daughter Clarke, a mother sees these things even when their children try to hide it."

Clarke narrowed her eyes, a bit confused that she didn't hear any disapproval in her voice. If there wasn't any right now, surely it will be there soon enough.

"Why aren't you angry?" she wondered.

Her mother smiled faintly. "Because we have lost so much already, I don't want to lose you too. And if I was angry at you for this, you would only push me away. But I'm not." she paused shortly. "Angry, I mean. I don't support it, I think it's unwise to be in a relationship with the Commander, but I support you, Clarke, and I will be the last to tell you not to listen to your heart. I just hope you realize what you're doing."

Clarke took a deep breath as she took in her mother's words. Of course she knows what she's doing. She's known it since their first kiss. Not the kiss before the mountain, that had come as a complete surprise, but afterwards, after she had come to terms with her anger and doubt, since then Clarke knew there was no going back and she shouldn't stop listening to her heart.

"Of course I know what I'm doing."

"Do you? Really? She is the Commander Clarke, the responsibility she has, her people will always come first, you've experienced that first hand already."

There it was, the rising tone of disapproval in her voice, the start of their argument. And her mother of course didn't know yet that Lexa planned to offer them a place among her people, that they would no longer have to worry about the Commander betraying them.

"Have you forgotten what she did for us at Arkadia?"

Abby shook her head. "I definitely haven't, and I am grateful to her. But if we had been attacked by the full force of an army, she wouldn't have helped, she would have left us to die… again." she tried reasoning with Clarke.

"Wow, mom, really?" Clarke sarcastically shrugged at her.

"Why can't you see this, Clarke?" her mother said almost pleadingly.

"I think you should leave."

But Abby didn't listen and slowly struggled to her feet, leaning down on her good knee and placing her hands on Clarke's hips, trying to comfort her daughter.

"Listen to me, Cla-"

Clarke pushed away and jumped to her feet.

"No you listen to me, mom." she said, her tone bitter. "You think my love for Lexa has blinded me. But it hasn't, if anything it has opened my eyes."

She strode away from her mother, thinking about leaving but turning around just as she reached the exit.

"I know better than anyone that she will always put her people first. That is what a good leader does and I shouldn't have to tell you that, I would have taken the same deal had it been presented to me. If after all this time you think I still don't understand this, maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do. Do you remember Finn, how I took his life so that he didn't have to suffer through the pain of eighteen deaths? Or what I did at the Mountain? I'm pretty sure I understand what it takes to be a leader more than you or Kane."

She could no longer hold her nerves, she sat back down and silently looked at her Mother for a few moments but quickly spoke up before her Mother could utter anymore frustrating words.

"But you know what, mom? I love her, I love her more than I thought I possibly could and I am fully aware of the consequences this could have. But it's worth the risk, everything we've been through together, I do not have any regrets and if one day she will have to choose between me and her people again, I would never forgive her if she chooses me. So yes mom, I know what I am doing and maybe if you open your eyes, you can see that we only make each other stronger."

She had just openly admitted her feelings for Lexa to her mother. Not just that they were, girlfriends so to speak, but that she actually loves her. It made her nervous and her legs started shaking. She eyed her mother and saw how Abby swallowed deeply, looking down and taking in the words her daughter had just thrown at her.

"I'm sorry, Clarke. I just… I don't want you to get hurt." her mother admitted.

Clarke just shrugged. "It's a bit too late for that, isn't it?" Finally her mother looked back at her, her eyes still showing concern. "I mean, we've been fighting each other a lot since we landed on the ground. I hurt you, you hurt me, I lost track really."

"Then maybe we should stop fighting." her mother softly mumbled.

"Then stop fighting, mom. Stop fighting who I have become, stop fighting my decisions, stop fighting and start trusting. Yes it's dangerous to love Lexa, but trust me, support me… don't just say it but actually mean it… "

Once again Clarke reached for her mother's hands and laced their fingers together, leaning forward and looking at her mother with begging eyes. Tears fell from them, trickling down her cheeks but an emotional smile formed on her lips and she nodded.

"You're right… you're right… " she said and then pulled her daughter in for a hug, that Clarke happily returned and she herself couldn't stop the tears from escaping her eyes. "I love you so much Clarke, don't you ever forget that."

"I love you too mom." she said, her voice hoarse from crying. "I love you too."

The two women held on to each other for a while but eventually it was Abby who pulled away. Rubbing a thumb across her daughter's tear stained eyes before placing a kiss on her forehead.

"I'm sorry Clarke." she said.

But Clarke shook her head. "Please don't apologize mom, save that for if you decide to take that tattoo to prove me wrong." she joked, trying to lighten the mood.

It worked and her mother chuckled. "Oh no, no that will never happen." she said, slightly struggling to sit back on her chair. "So the Commander huh?" the tone in her mother's voice was soft and gentle.

Clarke smirked. "Yeah, the Commander."

"She treats you alright?" her mother asked concerned.

A bright and proud smile formed on her lips. "Oh, more than alright." she admitted.

And then her mother's face visibly cringed. "Clarke, I really don't need to know that."

Clarke's eyes widened in realization. "What? No!" she said blushing. "Mom, that's not what I meant… oh God." She blushed, her cheeks couldn't turn more red if painted on them.

Both women started laughing, Clarke shifted uncomfortably on the crate and rubbed the back of her head, trying to forget this conversation as quickly as possible.

"Oh before I forget." Clarke said, quickly changing the subject. "Kane and I are holding a meeting tonight for all our people, we have an announcement to make, did he manage to talk to you before you made your way here?"

Her mother shook her head. "No I haven't seen him yet today. What's it about?" she asked.

"You'll hear it tonight." Clarke assured her mother.

She chuckled lightly how her mother was fighting her own curiosity and put up a lot of effort to not ask any further about it anymore. She might have given up her title as Chancellor, she still struggled sometimes to not interfere with the politics.

"Don't hurt yourself by overthinking it, mom." she teased her mother.

It made Abby smile. "Am I that obvious?"

"Pretty much, yeah." she said and stood back to her feet. "Ready for another round?"

Clarke held her hand out for her mother to take so that the two of them could start their final round of the session. With a little bit of effort Abby pulled herself up, nodding at her daughter.

"Ready as I'll ever be."

* * *

 

"Fuck!" Raven cursed, her hand stinging from the burn she had just suffered. "Shit!" she continued cursing in her haze of pain and frustration. "This fucking-" she was about ready to throw her work in the fire until her eyes met that of Maik, the blacksmith was eyeing her with a mixture of amusement and disapproval.

"Whatever." she mumbled and placed the metal next to the fire before stepping out of the building.

"Raven!" Maik called out, she turned just in time to catch the piece of cloth he threw at her

"For your burn." She shrugged him off but still wrapped the cloth around her hand, finding herself a rock to sit down on as she continued cursing.

"I'm such a fucking idiot." she scowled herself.

"Funny, I thought you always saw yourself as smart, not an idiot."

Her head jerked up when she heard the familiar voice of her mentor. He stood a few meters away from her, leaning on crutches that she had made for him. Her features softened immediately and she stood up to pull Sinclair in a strong hug.

"You're back!" she exclaimed excitedly while pulling away and studying him closely.

Of all of the survivors Sinclair was undoubtedly in the worst condition. Several broken bones, internal bleeding, a pierced lung and considerable burns over his body, the left side of his face was particularly scarred and would never fully heal. Niylah had suggested that she journey to her trading post for a salve and some herbs that would reduce his scarring, at the time Sinclair had recovered just about enough that he asked to travel with her, feeling that the peace and quiet would be a pleasant change and aid his recovery. He had spent roughly a month there and Raven couldn't express how much she missed him and worried for his well-being. Seeing him again flooded her with emotions she could no longer contain.

Once more she pulled him into a hug and tears streamed down her cheek. Words could not describe how happy she was to have him back. This past month has not been easy for her, while she enjoyed her time at the blacksmith, she still often had trouble coming to terms with the fact that she had to spend her life without technology. Surprisingly enough Monty had adjusted fairly smoothly, which made her even more bitter about it. The worst part of it was that the only other person who would understand how she felt wasn't around and she had trouble dealing with that the right way. The person who had to suffer most of her bitterness was Nyc, who until today, kept trying to find a way to connect with her and she guiltily admitted that she kept pushing him further and further away.

Even several warnings from Anya, or gentle reasoning from Octavia and Clarke helped to put her mind at ease. Her life had changed, Arkadia was gone, her people had been murdered and slaughtered and Raven didn't know how to deal with it.

"What did you do?" Sinclair's voice pulled her back to reality.

"What?" Raven asked confused, Sinclair pointed to her hand. "Oh, that. It's nothing, just burned my hand a bit."

In her excitement of seeing Sinclair again she had already forgotten about it and barely felt it stinging anymore. She looked at him, barely believing he was really back and then studied his face, it was still scarred but greatly improved compared to the last time she saw him, whatever Niylah had used, the salve had done wonders.

"Yeah it's not to bad is it?" he said as he noticed her looking. "The treatment itself was horrible though, I had to walk around with that salve on my face for hours." he joked.

Raven chuckled. "But it worked, that's what matters."

"More importantly most of the scarring around my eye is gone, my vision is pretty much back to normal. For the rest of it, I really couldn't give a rats ass how I look."

"You look badass now, I bet the ladies are getting in line for you now with that look." she teased him.

Sinclair burst out in laughter at her joke. "Damn, Reyes, you might be right." he joked back, pretending to throw his hair back.

They both laughed for a few seconds but then Sinclair spoke up again.

"So what about you?" he asked her and slowly lowered himself down on a nearby rock, placing his crutches on the ground next to him.

"What about me?" she wondered.

"You were talking about my love life, but what about yours. You told me about this Trikru Ambassador that you weren't sure about before I left?"

Raven felt her heart skip a few beats, quietly scolding herself for ever mentioning that to Sinclair.

"It's nothing." She lied but she could easily see Sinclair saw right through it.

She saw Sinclair take a deep breath and the features on his face softened. He offered her a kind smile and Raven knew that look anywhere. She braced herself for the speech that was to come.

"Just because I have been away, doesn't mean I didn't know what was going on here. Kane sent me reports every now and then, and in every one of them he expressed his worry for you."

"I've been fine." she bit back.

"Reyes." he said with a hint of warning.

Raven stood to her feet, ready to get back to work, she wasn't ready for this conversation. She couldn't do this now.

"I have to go."

"You sit your ass back down Reyes or so help me God!"

Had these words come from anyone else, she would have ignored them completely. But this was Sinclair, her mentor, the closest person she ever had to a father and right now the tone in his voice was that of a worried and slightly disappointed father. And she hated it, but deep down she knew he was right so she did what he said and sat back down on the rock, but she held a stubborn look on her face and avoided his gaze.

"What have you been doing, Reyes?"

"What do you mean? I've been working at the blacksmith while you were gone." she countered, dodging the actual meaning of his question.

"Raven." His tone was soft, yet determined, and the fact he used her first name showed he was serious. "Look at me."

And she did, tears now threatening to escape her eyes.

"Why are you fighting everyone and everything so fiercely Reyes, what happened to the tough mechanic I once knew?"

"Mechanic? Look around you, Sinclair, there is nothing mechanical about this place." she muttered softly.

"So that's it, you're feeling sorry for yourself because you believe there is nothing in the world left that challenges you?"

"I made you fucking crutches." she said mockingly, waving her hands at them. "What a challenge that was."

"So what? This world isn't good enough for Raven Reyes? Is that it?"

"What? No of course not!" she almost started screaming.

"Then what-"

Raven cut him off and jumped to her feet. "I'm scared!" the tone in her voice was low, not wanting others to hear her. "I'm scared okay. I have nightmares at night of Clarke being stabbed to death by Emerson, nightmares of you dying, nightmares of me trying to defuse a bomb but failing to stop it from destroying Arkadia."

She could no longer withhold her emotions, tears feel freely from her eyes, she forced herself to look away from the sympathetic gaze on Sinclair's face. Raven could barely believe she said it, she had done her best to hide it, to push this all away and maybe hopefully forget about it one day but instead Sinclair managed to get it out of her and she wasn't sure if she hated him for it or if she was grateful.

"And sometimes, the nightmare is about Nyc and how Ontari stabbed him with her sword, like she did when I was taken, only in the nightmare he actually dies and blames me with his dying breath."

"And you don't want him to get hurt again so you push him away." Sinclair concluded as he, with a fair amount of effort, stood back to his feet.

Raven nodded and handed him the crutches.

"It's not just him that you've been pushing away, Raven. And you're not the only one with nightmares. I had them, still have them but they are slowly going away and you know why? Because I talked with someone about them. I talked and let people in because I know I am not alone. And neither are you, we are all in this together so stop running and start acting like the Raven Reyes I know. You're strong, Raven, so very strong but sometimes even the strongest among us need help and let people in and there is nothing wrong with that. It doesn't make you any less of a person, it doesn't make you weak."

He stepped forward and pulled Raven up into a hug. She held onto him tightly, grasping him as if her life depended on it. Her tears stained his coat but he allowed for her to finally let go of all the emotions she had been holding back. Raven could hit herself for her stubbornness sometimes, how she thinks she can always do everything herself and doesn't need help. She realized now that it had been stupid and only made her hurt people, hurt Nyc. She made it look like she didn't care about him, but that was a lie, she did care about him, a great deal even and maybe it was time she stopped hiding and pushing her feeling for him away.

"I'm so sorry." she cried on his shoulder.

She could feel him shaking his head. "You don't have to apologize to me, Reyes." he said.

Raven pulled away from the hug and then nodded at her mentor. "Not just you, but I have been pushing you away too." she confessed.

He waved her off. "I've known you long enough to not hold a grudge about that. You are a great person, Reyes. A great mechanic and whether you use your brains on zero G mechanics or here as a blacksmith, it doesn't make you any less of a person, you know that, right?" he said and placed his hands on her shoulders, searching for her eyes.

She gave him a confident nod. "Hell yeah I know I'm awesome." she joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Sinclair gave her a strong pat on the shoulder. "There we go, that's the Raven Reyes I want to see."

"Yeah, yeah." she said, waving him off.

"Anyway, I didn't come to see you just for that, want to know why else?" he asked her as they slowly walked back to the smith.

"Do you even have to ask?"

He laughed. "Has anyone here told you about Polis?" He asked

"Yeah the capital of the grounders, a really big city they say." she answered.

"Exactly, Niylah said that in the center of it all, where the Commander stays, is a huge tower."

Raven raised an eyebrow. "Huge as in how many floors?" she asked him.

He shook his shoulders. "Niylah said she never really counted, but my guess is around fifty. The awesome part about it though, is that they have created an elevator for it, which used to work automatically but a few years ago it broke down so now they have people assigned to run it manually."

Raven felt her eyes widen. "They had an elevator working automatically on a building with over fifty floors? How did they manage that?"

Her question made Sinclair chuckle. "I asked Niylah the same question, started talking in terms she didn't understand so she ended up laughing at me and said to just wait till the Commander has Polis back under her control."

"You made a fool out of yourself, old man." Raven chuckled.

"You just wait till we get there, I'll beat you to that elevator, even with these damn crutches."

"Hey, a lot of love went into making those for you, be nice to them." she teased him.

He laughed and motioned her inside. "Come on smartass, show me what you've been doing here while I was away."

Raven watched as her mentor walked inside to be greeted by Maik. Overwhelming warmth filled her body as a tear escaped her eye and trickled down her cheek. She had missed him dearly and could not describe the feeling of happiness she felt that he had survived Arkadia's destruction. She was grateful he had been brought to TonDC for medical help and even more so for his counsel on her own issues. Her eyes were finally open, she felt now that she could begin to mend old wounds, wounds that she had caused between herself and others. And at the next possible opportunity she would start with Nyc.

* * *

 

"How many times do I have to tell you to watch your footing, Nova." Lexa said annoyed and stepped back. "Get up and we go again."

Ever since her return to TonDC Lexa had planned private training sessions with Nova to improve her combat skills. They were lacking for a novitiate of her age and Lexa made it her goal to improve them and continue their sessions once they were back in Polis. Her private sessions with the young novitiate seemed to have limited effect, it disappointed her at how incapable the girl seemed when it came to defending against even the most basic of Lexa's offense.

"Sha, Heda."

There was a clear layer of frustration in Nova's voice but she stood to her feet and picked up the staff again. They had been training for over an hour, exhaustion was clearly visible on her face and her muscles had to be feeling heavier with every passing second. Small beads of sweat were slowly forming on Lexa's own forehead but she was far from as tired as Nova seemed.

The moment Nova readied herself Lexa charged at her again with the staff. Showing no mercy and going at her in full force, in a matter of seconds Nova was disarmed again and Lexa punished it with a sharp hit of her staff on Nova's forearm, she barely managed to withhold a cry of pain.

"I know you are tired, Nova, but on the battlefield your opponent will only use that to their advantage. If your opponent appears to be stronger than you, try to outsmart them, a battle can be just as easily won with using your head instead of your muscles." Lexa instructed her.

"Understood, Heda." Nova said and once more readied herself.

Lexa once more advanced, a few quick strikes and she had the young warrior cornered, only this time she heeded her Commander's instruction. She skimmed her staff through the sand briefly blinding Lexa and manoeuvred from the corner. Lexa instinctively swung her staff behind her but connected with nothing but air, she then felt Nova strike twice in quick succession, first her thigh then her ankle.

The blows forced Lexa down to one knee and with her eyesight slowly returning she noticed the staff coming at her head and caught it with her free hand, the staff now inches from her eyebrow, she pushed back immediately. Instead of the staff hitting her own head, it struck Nova's eyebrow and it split open, the young girl cried out in pain and once more landed painfully on her back after a sharp punch and a strong kick from Lexa, she didn't even have to use the staff.

"That was good, Nova." Lexa said hovering over the young girl as she wiped away the sand. "But next time, don't hesitate, because of it you gave me the opportunity to counter attack."

Lexa offered Nova a helping hand and then placed her hand above the eyebrow that had split open, studying it closely. "Training is over, go see a healer or that will get infected. We will continue tomorrow."

"Mochof, Heda." Nova said and offered Lexa a bow before she hurried back towards TonDC.

Lexa gathered the staves, letting it slide just this once that Nova didn't take her own back with her and then made her own way back to TonDC. Senho and Vern were their assigned guards today and Lexa ordered Vern to stay with Nova and Senho could stay with her until they reached TonDC.

Lexa didn't want to take any risks since Octavia and Clarke were attacked here not that long ago, though she doubted anyone would attack her now, it never hurt to be careful. Once she made it back to TonDC she found Vern waiting and informed her that Nova had gone to see a healer. Lexa thanked him and slowly walked through the streets of TonDC. Her daily duties had concluded and she longed for a bath after the training session with Nova.

But as much as she was looking forward to her bath, she was struck with a bit of annoyance to see Anya waiting for her, blocking the path to her tent up the hill. Lexa rolled her eyes, she was not in the mood to talk with her former mentor but she more than recognized the determination in Anya's eyes.

"Heda." Anya approached her immediately.

"What do you want, Anya." Lexa responded a bit agitated.

"I would like to have a moment of your time, Heda." Anya still addressed her formally as they were in the middle of TonDC and surrounded by some of its inhabitants. "Could we speak in private."

"No." Lexa simply said and stared her down, silently ordering her to step aside.

She wasn't particularly surprised when Anya refused to do so and remained in front of Lexa.

"Beja, Heda. It is important." she pleaded.

Lexa folded her arms together. "Is this about Wanheda?" she asked and when Anya looked away she already knew the answer. "I thought as much, we are done here. Good day, General." she said, ensuring to put a sneer on her title and then walked passed her.

Anya didn't even bother following her but she could feel the eyes of her General burning holes in her back. As she walked she could sense the villagers eyes on her, mumblings here and there, no doubt surprised by the tense interaction between the two. Where once Lexa and Anya were always on the same level, they now suddenly seemed distant, something the villagers were not used to.

Lexa knew this would have to change soon, if villagers saw this, word would spread to the other clans and it could pose a threat to her position as Commander. She sighed and stopped walking, maybe it was best to talk with Anya, so she turned around to call her up to her tent but was surprised to see her General in conversation with Lynn. Lexa was too far to hear what they were talking about but from Anya's body language she could tell the General wasn't happy with whatever Lynn had said to her. Before she could go down there and confront them the two women walked away. It was pointless to go after them now, she will have her bath first and then maybe have a warrior send for Anya, otherwise she will talk to the General tomorrow; their dispute was getting out of hand and it was time to settle it.

Still lost in her thoughts she walked inside her tent, not even acknowledging the two guards outside and almost startled when she caught movement from the corner of her eye. But her worries settled immediately when her eyes landed on Clarke and her beautiful smile. The two shared a quick kiss before Clarke eyed her worryingly.

"What's wrong?"

Lexa shook her head. "Nothing Clarke, do not worry." she deflected, but knew deep down that it was pointless and Clarke would never believe her.

And she didn't, because Lexa saw her folding her arms together and the blonde looked at her with determination, this time she was not letting it go no matter how hard Lexa resisted. So she took a deep breath and went to sit on the edge of the bed, as she undid her bracers and gloves she started explaining.

"My argument with Anya, it's affecting the villagers… and the clan leaders." she confessed.

Clarke went to sit beside her, Lexa felt her hand on her shoulder and Clarke squeezed it slightly.

"Lexa these people support you because they think supporting Nia is not what's best for their people right now, I doubt they will suddenly vote you out."

"They could, the novitiates are here, they could vote to have me removed and start the conclave."

The hand on her shoulder moved to her cheek, Clarke's thumb gently caressing it.

"A conclave would only weaken our position, if Nia gets wind of it she will not hesitate to attack us. Dethroning you now would accomplish nothing. Sure they will question you for your dispute with Anya and for what we are doing, but I'm sure they will not vote to remove you as Commander. I know for a fact Luna wouldn't do that, nor would Thoni."

"Meys might, and I'm sure Uzac is already having his doubts." Lexa said worryingly.

This time Clarke knelt beside her, she rested her hands on Lexa's knees and her eyes practically commanded Lexa to look at her.

"Then be the Commander and convince him otherwise. You don't need me to tell you these things Lexa. You are a great leader, not that long ago you didn't hesitate to teach me how to be a leader so I sure as hell shouldn't be telling you what to do. Address their worries, no matter if it's about the two of us or your argument with Anya; address it and be the leader everyone knows you are. There is no need for doubt, Leksa."

Lexa felt her heart warm at Clarke's words, it made her smile and realize the Skygirl was correct. She had been Commander for five years and she had brought the twelve clans together, they might be separated now, but that didn't mean her skills as Commander had to be questioned. If she wanted to be in a relationship with Wanheda, it was her right and not to be questioned. And if they had any other doubts, she would address them, she would show them her strength and wisdom as a leader like she always has. She is the Commander and she'd be sure to remind them of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of talking in this chapter, but it was needed. More action in the next chapter for sure.
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Fis op en Chchplei - Healing and talking
> 
> Name explanations:
> 
> Wilson was just a name that I wanted to use, nothing special about it   
> Maik - named after my friend who has helped me so much with writing this story :D


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